02x03 - Max's Minions

[bunniefuu]

- Cherry, Kelsey, I asked
my parents if I could go

to the new dance club
this week with you guys.

And at first they weren't
sure, but then they said yeah.

- ALL: Yeah.

- Hey!

No squealing in the halls.

- Sorry, Principal Bradford.

We're just really excited
because our parents

are letting us go to that new
teen dance club this weekend.

- It's called club--

- ALL: ♪ Ooh Ooh ♪

- [laughs]

Oops, I must be
wearing my talk-to-me face.

Don't talk to me.

- I can't wait.

Our first real dance club.

- Can I get celebratory
girlfriends?

- ALL: ♪ Girlfriends ♪

- You look happy.

What did you do?

- You know me, Phoebs, always
trying to spice up

someone's day.

- Woooo!

Hot, hot, hot!

This chimichanga's
stuffed with fire!

- Jalapeno.

- Hot sauce fountain.

[crying]

- Who would do such a thing?

- Who put superglue on
the hot sauce fountain?

- You again, girlfriend?

- You got it.

Quick, get some water
from the bathroom?

- [mariachi band playing]

- ♪ What you see is
not what you get ♪

♪ Living our lives
with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in, bet
you'd never guess ♪

♪ Because we're living our
lives just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture-perfect family
is what we try to be ♪

♪ But closer you might see
the crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make-believe ♪

♪ It's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family
trying to be normal ♪

♪ And stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Living a double life ♪

Remember, there are no small
pranks, only small people.

Hey--hey, Principal Bradford,
I was just talking about ya.

- I used to be able to talk.

- "Public school enemy
number one, Max Thunderman."

Hmm, hard work does pay off.

- I know you did this, Max.

I don't have proof, but I
promise you I'll find it

before the blisters
on my throat heal.

- Whoa, nerd wall.

Can you guys move?

Meant away from me.

- That prank you pulled on
the principal was amazing.

The whole school's
talking about it.

- Ah, so you're fans, huh?

Who do I make this out to?

- It's Tom.

- There you go, Tim.

- You hear that,
guys, I'm Tim now?

- Mr. Prank King, wait.

- We were wondering if you
could teach us your pranky ways.

- Guys, pranking isn't
something you can learn.

You either got it--

- We'll pay you.

- --or you got money.

- We'll do whatever you say.

- Hmm, I will need minions if
I'm gonna take over

the world someday.

- You mean the school?

- Yeah, that.

All right, let's get started.

Right after we get this
smudge off Lionel's shirt.

- We just started, didn't we?

- Yep.

- Look who it is?

My favorite people.

- Are there two
Channing Tatum's behind us?

- Yeah, I think she means us,
but I'm gonna check anyway.

- I can't wait
for this weekend.

Thank you so much for letting
me go to Club Ooh Ooh.

- Uh, you've been doing a great
job with school, you deserve

to dance the night
away at Club Ew-ew.

- No, Hank, it's Oooh-ooh.

- Oahhh, oahhh.

- Oah.
- Boh.

- Stop that.

- Anyway, my friends
and I are so excited.

We're getting our hair done,
getting our nails done.

- Getting our chores done.

- Oh, yeah, not a problem.

- Before you go to the club.

- Uh, yeah, that's a problem.

- Phoebe, your choirs
have been piling up,

and you promised you'd do them.

- But there's
a bazillion things on here.

I won't have time to get
clubbed up with my friends.

- Oh, welcome to
Club Not Our Problem.

Here's your VIP pass.

- All right, if I just don't
sleep and have breakfast

in the shower, I can get this
done before the weekend.

Double sided?

- COMPUTER: Alert, alert.

Max and non-supes approaching.

- Check it out, Tom, that girl
you stare at in math is here.

- Shut up, Lionel.

- Hey, I said no dweeb chatter.

Now get downstairs.

- What are those
guys doing here?

- They're my new minions.

I'm going to mold them in my
image and take over the world.

Or at least buy cool
stuff with their money.

- How does he get minions?

I'm the one with choirs.

I want minions.

- BILLY: I'm gonna
get you, Nora.

- NORA: Ah.

- Hello, minions.

- You'll never catch me.

- You were saying.

- Billy, Nora, how would you
guys like to get

real superhero training?

- Really?

- I could use it.

Billy just outsmarted me.

Billy.

- It'll be great.

When I was your age, dad used
some pretty fun exercises

to make me a better superhero.

What are you guys,
like six and eight?

- We're and .

- Wow, you guys are way behind.

- I don't wanna fall behind.

Train me first.

- No, me first!

- Easy, minions--I
mean, students.

You guys can train together.

It'll be a lot more work for
me, but you guys are worth it.

- Max-imize yourself.

Only way to become the best
prankster you can be is

to stop being you and become me!

Any questions so far?

- Um, sir, why do you
wear a microphone

when you're right next to us?

- [echoes] Impact!

- [feedback buzzes]

- All right, MAX.

M--mindlessly heed Max.

A--aspire to be Max.

X--exactly like Max.

- Exactly begins with an E.

- I said "mindlessly heed Max"!

All right, we'll start prank
lessons tomorrow,

but first homework.

- Yes!

- Tonight, you'll all have
to watch my DVD

"Pranky Max Thunderman,
You're Welcome."

You owe me $ . each.

- We gave you all our cash.

- Do you take credit cards?

- Yes.

But I don't give them back.

- Behold my superhero
training dojo.

- That's weird, because
dad calls this the yard.

- It's actually the location
for our level one training.

- BOTH: Oh.

- Now today we'll be battling
the hedges

and imprisoning the leaves.

Here are your weapons.

- Cool, giant scissors.

Can't wait to run
with these babies.

- And we're switching.

- Aren't these
just garden tools?

- Ah, maybe to
the untrained eye.

But to an advanced superhero,
they're what I said earlier.

You do wanna be an advanced
superhero, don't you?

- I do.

- Me, too.

- Okay, now these will help
with your hand-eye coordination.

And this will help with your
strength and rake-icity.

- I'm gonna rake
this city clean.

- All right, you
guys keep training.

I gotta get to the nail
salon--library,

to plan your next lesson.

Quick, the leaves are escaping!

- [bell rings]

- All right, come on, guys.

Okay, Tom, when Bradford
comes around that corner--

- Hold on, you didn't say we
were pranking the principal.

- Lionel, if you
wanna be the best,

you gotta take on the top dog.

Or if you want to
quit, that's fine, too.

Just gotta pay the quitting fee.

- No, no, I'm not quitting.

I can't afford to quit.

- Now that's
the right attitude.

Tom, got your pie,
let him have it.

- Let him have it.

Got it.

Principal Bradford, here you go.

- Thanks.

- I nailed him.

His appetite's so
ruined for dinner.

- Tom?

- Yeah?

- Oh, now I get it.

- Guys, we're gonna work on
this all day

until you get it right.

Guy, we've worked all day, and
you haven't gotten

anything right!

Hey, better hope this prank
works, because

I'm out of patience
and you're out of money.

- We promise, it'll work.

- [bell rings]

- We did everything you said.

- Here they come.

Prank positions.

- [screaming]

- Nice job, guys.

You make me smirk.

Now come on, smirk with me.

Ugh, you've ruined
smirking for me.

Take a lap.

Let's go, come on!

- [whistle blows]

- Hey, guys.

- Whoa, Phoebe, great
job with the backyard.

- Yeah, the car's
washed, you went shopping.

It's like you have six hands.

- Well, I don't,
that's impossible.

Stop saying that.

- Well, whatever you're doing,
keep it up

and you'll be able to go
to Club Ooh Ooh.

- Ah.

- I've been practicing.

- Hey, Phoebe, did you remember
to clean our bathrooms?

- Looks like I did.

[sighs]

Geez, the couch is messy.

I'll throw that one in for free.

- Why can't Max
be more like her?

- I know, right.

- What was that?

- A surprise att*ck.

You guys did great.

Your training's
totally paying off.

- Like you said, if we can
handle dad's bathroom,

we can handle any evil.

- We saw things, Phoebe.

- Tell me everything outside.

Okay, maybe not everything.

- Hey, guys.

- Max, what a do?

- Uh, hip slang, cool clothes.

Looks like someone's
been watching my DVD.

- You know it, son.

- We watched that
DVD-eze for rea-eze.

- The point is, we're
all fully Max-imized, bro.

- Fully Max-imized?

No, you can't be
fully Max-imized.

Lionel's still got
something on his shirt.

Uh, looks like the training
wheels have come off.

- We learned from the best.

Now just sit here in the chair
of honor and enjoy

the new prank
we've been working on.

- Nice chair.

So where's this prank?

- You're sitting
in it, top dog.

- What's that now?

Minions, no.

Heed Max and command thee.

You're going to regret this.

No, no!

Don't look at me.

- [mariachi music playing]

- Somebody stop this.

No, oh, not the trash.

Not the trash!

- [music stops]

- Students of Hiddenville High,

say hello
to your new prank kings.

- [cheering]

- And say goodbye
to your old one.

- Don't you dare.

Don't you dare-e-e-e-e!

- [crash]

- Ooh.

- Hey, what part of my
DVD did it say to prank me?

- You were the one who said,

"If you wanna be the best, you
gotta take on the top dog."

- Maybe you guys don't get it.

You're my minions.

The only way I can reach my goal
is by me standing on

each one of your little faces.

- We used to be a minions.

- But now we're manions.

- "Public school enemy number
one through three,

"Lionel, Jake and Tom"?

What--what about me?

- You?

[laughs] You used
to be somebody.

- Okay, oh.

- These heels we got for
the dance club are k*lling me.

- I've been late to four
classes learning

how to walk
in these death traps.

- It'll all be worth it when
glam walk into the club.

Let's do this, ladies.

Ooh Ooh.

Ow.

- BOTH: Ooh Ooh.

- Ow.

- Ooh ooh, oh!

- You guys are dressed this way
because we're about to learn

supe-fu, an ancient
form of combat--

- Awesome.

- --that can only be mastered
by patiently folding my laundry.

- Double awesome.

- Wait, why can't we
just fold our own laundry?

- Because your
clothes are too small.

- Yeah.

Get in the game, Nora.

Hi-ya, ya, ya.

Ahhh.

- See, this guy gets it.

All right, I'll
be back in a bit.

And when you're done, you can
rid my room of grim

and evil with vacuum-fu.

- Billy, is it just me or do
they these training exercises

seem strange?

- What seems strange
to you about this?

Hi-ya, ya, ya.

Ahhhh.

- Everything.

[sighs]

Seriously, I
think Phoebe's using us.

- Stop dissing our sensei and
help me supe through

this chore list that fell out
of Phoebe's laundry.

- That chore list--give me that.

We haven't been doing
superhero training.

We've just been
doing her choirs.

- What?

Then this supe-fu belt is a lie.

But it was holding up my pants.

- So I went to a restaurant
the other day, and the manager

tells me that they're
closed for Christmas.

So I Eastered all
over his sidewalk.

- [laugh track plays]

- Thank you.

True story--hey, Max.

Hey, why didn't
you take the slide?

- Slides are for prank kings.

My minions overthrew me, Colos,
so if I can't even control

three nerds, how am I gonna
take over the world?

- Ah, poor kid, come
here, let me give ya a hug.

- Thanks, Colos, well
I could really use one.

Ah.

Ow!

- Get a grip.

Villains don't quit.

Did I quit when your dad
turned me into a bunny?

- You live in a cage
and poop on sawdust.

- And who cleans it up?

You.

Now get out there, start acting
like a super villain

and make 'em clean up your poop.

- Yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

I'm Max Thunderman.

I'm not about to let
three dweebs steal my mojo.

- That's my Maxy.

Come on, bring it in.

- [laugh track playing]

- Hey, guys.

- Hey, has-been.

- Yeah, you got me.

Hey, congratulations on
being the new prank kings.

- Say it, don't spray it, bro.

- That doesn't
make any sense, Tom.

- I know.

I just always
wanted to say that.

- You know, it's too bad I
never got to pull off

my most epic prank.

I was gonna show this amazing
video at Bradford's

special assembly.

- It takes one to know one.

- Be cool, idiot.

- Anyway, I can't wait to see
what you guys have planned.

See ya around.

- Oh, Max left his locker open.

- Oh, I'll close it for him.

- You're on thin ice, Tom.

- Let's see what this
epic prank's all about.

- Is that who I think it is?

- We're gonna be prank legends.

- Hey, you two, good job
with your superhero training.

- We didn't finish
our training.

We couldn't reach
that cobweb up there.

- Oh, I can get that.

Here.

What's happening!

I can't stop it!

Help your sensei.

What's happening?

- Payback!

- Also laughter.

- Phoebe, what are you doing?

- You could've just
unplugged it, Barb.

- You wanna explain
this garbage party?

- Well, it's not my fault.

Billy and Nora said they were
gonna finish vacuuming my room,

but they set this
thing on reverse.

- Why were they
vacuuming your room?

- Because they love me?

- Phoebe tricked us into
doing all of her chores.

She made laundry fun.

- Phoebe, is this true?

- No, I was helping them.

We were doing
superhero training.

- You made us
clean dad's toilet.

- I plunged away my innocence.

- Phoebe?

- Okay, fine, I--I didn't have
time to get ready

for the dance club and do all my
chores, so I got a little help.

But Billy and Nora
got their revenge.

So which dress do
you like better?

I'm not going to
the dance club, am I?

- You'll be too busy
cleaning up this room.

- Make it super
clean, super teen.

Ooh ooh.

- Ooh ooh.

- BOTH: Ooh ooh, ooh ooh.

- [indistinct chatter]

- All right, all right,
calm down, future failures.

If you're here, it's because
you're a problem, a troublemaker

or I don't like your face.

Ah.

I'm keeping that.

Now there's been
a rash of pranks.

Some were funny,
the others were directed at me.

So you're gonna watch this
video on obeying authority.

You will start
respecting me right now.

Yeah, I've been
a musician all my life.

Changing the world
one note at a time.

Also do kid's parties.

Love kids.

Wait, wait, what is this?

Stop this, this--this
should not be going on.

This first one is called,
"Yeah, you know it."

You'll see why.

- [laughing]

- ♪ Yeah, you know it ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, you know it ♪

♪ Yeah, you know it ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, you know it ♪

♪ Oh, yaaaaa ♪

Stop it!

Stop--

- Gentlemen, see you in
the prank hall of fame.

- You're dismissed!

Everybody out!

- Is that who I think it is?

- We're gonna be prank legends.

- If we show this video at
the assembly, it'll be so sweet.

- Lionel, Jake and Tom,

you embarrassed
our beloved principal.

Not cool, guys.

- It was flat-out mean.

- Yeah, you know it.

- Should've been a hit.

- Hey, you three, get up and
apologize to Principal Bradford

while taking a caramel
and popcorn shower.

- [laughing]

- [laughs]

Clean it up.

Okay, losers, detention now.

- Not detention.

There's seniors there.

- Please, we'll
never prank again.

- I'm sticky and scared.

- So troublemakers,
your king is back.

- [applause]

- [mariachi music playing]

- ♪

- It's really great your
parents changed their mind

and let you come!

- Is it?

- Uh, we'll be over there.

- Couldn't you guys have just
grounded me like normal parents?

- We're not normal parents.

Everybody, supe-fu.

- ♪