03x05 - Are You Afraid of the Park?

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Thundermans". Aired: October 14, 2013 - May 25, 2018.*
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Series revolves around the Thundermans, a family with superpowers who try to live normal lives in the fictional town of Hiddenville.
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03x05 - Are You Afraid of the Park?

Post by bunniefuu »

- Mom, Nora grew last night.

- I'm finally tall enough
to go on Thunderman: The Ride!

- That's great.

I told you, if you
were only patient--

and you're standing on
my romance novels.

Honey, you can't walk around
Amazing Land like that.

- Sure I can. Oops!

- And she's down.

- Honey, your Dad will be here
any second to measure you

and then we'll know
if you can get on that ride.

- I really hope so.

I've been waiting for Nora
to be tall enough

so our first ride
can be together.

- We even made a special
friendship frame

to hold the picture we're
gonna take on the ride.

- And we've been practicing
our scream faces.

- [silent screaming]

- HANK: [whooshes]

- He's back!

- I borrowed this
from Amazing Land.

Funny story--the day this
picture was taken, it was --

- Blah, blah, blah,
you did stuff.

Measure me!

[gasps]
Yes, I'm a giant!

- ALL: [cheering, hooting]

- Congratulations.

- Thank you. Thank you.

You all finally recognized
my greatness.

- Sorry, Max, I think
that was for me.

I got my hair cut yesterday.

- Actually, we don't care about
either of those things--

because we are all going
to Amazing Land

to ride Thunderman: The Ride!

- BARB: [squealing]

- Say what?
- Come again?

- Nora's finally tall enough.

Come on, everyone,
let's get ready.

- HANK: Yay!
- BILLY: Woo!

- Thunderman: The Ride.
- This isn't happening.

- [carnival music]

- [ride thundering]

- [screaming]

- That was the most
terrifying thing ever.

- What kind of people
would enjoy that?

- That was amazing!

- Come on, kids,
off to the next ride.

- BARB & HANK:
[laughing]

- MAX & PHOEBE:
Never again.

Never again!

Never again.
Never again!

- Also, let's never hug
each other again.

- Totally.

- ♪

♪ What you see ♪

♪ Is not what you get ♪

♪ Livin' our lives
with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in ♪

♪ Bet you never guessed ♪

♪ 'Cause we're
livin' our lives ♪

♪ Just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture
perfect family ♪

♪ Is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer,
you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't
make believe ♪

♪ It's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal
and stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Livin' a double life ♪

- I can't go on
that ride again.

The automated voice still
haunts my dreams.

"Secure personal objects
and enjoy the ride."

I will not "enjoy the ride"!

- And I will not
"secure personal objects"!

- I'm sure if we just told
Mom and Dad the truth,

they wouldn't make us go.

- No one can know.

If it got out that two supes

are afraid of
amusement park rides,

our lives would be ruined.

Well, you don't have a life,
but I have everything to lose.

- Yes, because
a talking rabbit

and boy band hair
is everything.

- I knew, one day,
Nora would be tall enough.

- Curse her love of milk!

- Which is why I have a plan.

- [powers zapping]

- We change our identities.

I'll be Benito Sancho Gallini,
the Duke of Portugal,

and you're "Steve."

- Wait, Max, while you were
explaining your dumb idea,

I just came up with
something a lot easier.

Let's just tell Mom and Dad
we already have plans.

- Okay, we'll do your idea.
- Great.

Why won't this thing
come off?

- It's the glue, Steve.

- Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ow! Ow! Ow!

[sighing]

- [mustache ripping]
- Ow!

- Oh, oh, yeah!
Watch that candy.

Sure I'll buy more cherry chews.
Not my credit card.

- HANK: Colosso!

- Uh-oh.

- I was just buying tickets
to Amazing Land

when I found out someone else
has been using my credit card,

playing an on-line game
called "Candy Squash"?

- I'm sorry, I've never
heard of it.

- [computer bloops]

- MALE VOICE:
Your candy is squashed.

Game over.

- Oh, Candy Squash.
[chuckling]

- You just spent $ ,
on virtual candy?

I mean, real candy, I get.
But virtual candy?

You're gonna pay me back or
I will be playing Rabbit Squash.

- Wait! How am I supposed
to come up with $ , ?

You turned me into an animal.

[sighing]
Hm...

Hm...Hm!

[chuckling]

Coloss-O's cereal.

[chuckling]

I am evilly delicious.

[chuckling]

- BARB: Phoebe, Max,
let's go!

- Actually, I'm off to
the mall with Cherry,

so have fun at Amazing
Land without me. Bye.

- Wait. What?

- I said I'm off to
the mall with Cherry,

so have fun at Amazing
Land without me. Bye.

- No, Phoebe, you're
coming with us.

You know how important this day
is to Billy and Nora.

- Yeah, but today is
the last day I can...

return this vase.

- We've had that
for six years.

- I'm getting store credit.

- NORA: [powers zapping]
- PHOEBE: Oh!

- [vase shatters]

- That was a warning sh*t.

Next time, you get
a second belly button.

Sorry, I'm just real excited.
[giggles]

- Listen, I would love to go to
Amazing Land, but I can't.

I've got community service.

I have to pick up trash
on the side of the highway.

- BILLY: [zooming]

Done! And I found
a half-eaten granola bar.

- PHOEBE & MAX:
[speaking at the same time]

- Guys, stop! I get it.

You guys think hanging out
with your family is lame.

- Yeah, that's it.
- You guys are lame.

- Well, I'm sorry,
but you're going.

And I can guarantee you
this trip is not gonna be lame.

- ♪ Super villain has
the wedgiest tights ♪

♪ Wedgiest tights
wedgiest tights ♪

♪ Super villain has
the wedgiest tights ♪

- ♪ 'Cause I kicked him
in the butt ♪

- HANK & BARB:
[laughing]

- It's bad enough if everyone
knows we're gonna be afraid,

but do we have to listen to this
offensive Super Villain song?

- BILLY: One more time.
♪ Oh the Super Villain has-- ♪

- Billy! You spilled
my chips!

- It was an accident.

I was just feeling the music.

- Can you feel this?
- Ow!

- Hey, kids, come on,
no fighting.

I will turn this car around
and we'll all go home.

I'm as serious as
my limited edition

Thunderman: The Ride hat.

- I don't know what
that means.

Oh, just tell me what
you're trying to say.

- We'll use our powers to trick
Billy and Nora into fighting

so Dad turns the car around
and we save our rep.

- Max, that'll never work.

- MAX: [powers zapping]

- Stay on your own side.

- Wow, it worked.
I'll get Nora.

- PHOEBE: [powers zapping]

- Why'd you do that?
- I didn't. You did.

- MAX & PHOEBE:
[powers zapping]

- This won't end well.

- Stop it.
- Quit it.

- [video game music]

♪ Hey there, kids,
it's me, Dr. C. ♪

♪ With a breakfast treat
that's as good as can be ♪

♪ So grab a spoon
and have a taste ♪

♪ And shove Coloss-O's
in your face ♪

- ♪ Coloss-O's
Coloss-O's ♪

- ♪ It's got raisins
and lotsa healthy junk ♪

♪ Now watch the rabbit
shaka shaka his punk ♪



- Wow, business is booming.

My butt can sell anything!

Mm-hm.

- Quit touching me.
- Hey, outta my space.

- You started it.
- You started it.

- Okay, you kids have been
fighting this entire trip.

Why don't you sing
another song?

- Okay.

♪ Billy's a jerk,
quit touching me ♪

- ♪ No you're the jerk,
stop touching me ♪

- Enough!
You kids behave right now

or I will turn
this car around.

- If your dumb foot
touches me again,

I'm gonna laser it right off.

- You wouldn't dare.

- Oh, she would.

[powers zapping]

- That's it!
- Uh-oh.

[powers zapping]
- HANK: [gasps]

Oh, my promotional hat.

That's it--we are going home.

- [tires screeching]

- ♪

- ♪ Oh we're not going on
Thunderman: The Ride ♪

♪ 'Cause my evil plan was evil ♪

Phoebe, second verse,
a little bit worse.

- Oh, it can't get worse.

Should we be worried
about Billy and Nora?

They'll get over this, right?
- Oh, they'll be fine.

Unlike us, those little goobers
actually like each other.

Trust me--they'll walk
through that door

like nothing happened.

- It's your fault we can't
go to Amazing Land.

Apologize.

- Unh-unh.
You need to apologize.

I waited forever to go on
Thunderman: The Ride

and now you've ruined it.

I'm always waiting for you.

- And what's that
supposed to mean?

- Wait till Nora's old enough.
Wait for Nora to catch up.

Wait for Nora to find
the perfect bow.

- You know that's
my signature look.

And you're always
waiting for me

because you can't
do anything without me.

- Starting now, I will.

Watch me break our friendship
frame without you.

[straining]

- Once again, you need me.

[powers zapping]
- [frame clatters]

- No, I don't.

In fact, I'm moving
out of our bedroom.

- NORA: Good. I didn't like
sharing a room with you anyway.

- Well, they're still
closer than we are.

- ♪

- Man, oddly-enough,
for a rabbit,

you make a great cereal.

[tooth crunches]
Ow!

What is this thing?

- That's your tooth.

I dumped a lotta sugar
in that stuff.

- Max, this fight
is getting really bad.

Billy won't even breathe
the same air as Nora.

He's passed out--twice.

We need to tell the truth
and fix this.

- What? You want
people finding out

we're afraid of
an amusement park ride?

- No, but I just feel bad.

- COLOSSO: [chuckling]

You guys should feel bad.

Who's afraid of a silly ride?
[chuckling]

- Hey, there's nothing
silly about

being strapped to
a two-ton death machine.

[powers zapping]

- COLOSSO: Hey, I hope
the rest of your teeth fall out!

- Look, Phoebe,
our secret is safe

and that's all I care about.

What's happening with Billy
and Nora--not my problem.

- BILLY: Incoming!

Ahhhhh!

- [boxes thudding]

- Billy what are you doing?

- I'm moving in, roomie.

- Sure looks like it's
your problem now.

- ♪

- Eighteen hundred,

nineteen hundred,
two thousand.

Thank you, Colosso.

- Hey, I make things right.

And, Barb, here's bucks.

Buy yourself some
of those yoga pants

you think are okay
to wear in restaurants.

- Apologize, furball, or I'll
wear you to a restaurant.

- Make it .

- Apology accepted.

- There's plenty more Colosso
cash where that came from.

Now, let's check this
morning's cereal sales.

- [alarm beeping]
- What?

"Site under investigation

"by the Federal Bureau
of Cereal Crimes.

This product is known to
cause teeth to fall out."

Lies! Lies, I say!

[spitting]

[speaking gibberish]

- ♪

- Aw, Max, did you start wearing
footie pajamas again?

- Billy was super-speed
sleepwalking last night.

- And he stepped on your face?

- I have something on my face?

- No. Anyway, I've come
up with a way

to make Billy and Nora
friends again.

You and I act out
a fake fight,

and then we apologize,

reminding them how
siblings should behave.

- Lying. I like it.

- Great. Now I've written
out this script

of how the fight
should go down.

Your character's motivation is--

- To conquer the world
and look good doing it.

- Is it too late
to re-cast?

And action!

Max Thunderman, you are
the worst brother ever.

- No, Phoebe,
you are the worst

and I am now quarreling
with you.

Okay, "quarreling"?
No one says that.

- BILLY: I hear quarreling.
What's going on?

- NORA: What did Billy do now?

- You have wrongly shoved me
and I demand an apology.

- I will not apologize,

for it is you
who has shoved me.

Lookit, how long
is this thing?

- Fine. Just skip
to the apology.

- Before or after
the dance battle?

- After. Page .

- [shuffling pages]

- What are we doing,
brother Max?

Siblings should not fight.

I am sorry.

- No, I am the sorry
one, Phoebe.

I never should have said
that your face smells

or that you have giraffe--
- Stick to the script.

- Or that your hair clogs
the upstairs shower.

- Okay! I accept
your apology.

- MAX & PHOEBE: Family!

- Here it comes.
- Mm-hm.

- Don't apologize
to her, Max.

She'll just make you
wait for everything.

Sisters and their smelly
faces are the worst.

- No, brothers are.

They can't do anything
by themselves.

They can't even
think for themselves.

- That's not true.

Max, help me think
of a comeback.

- Come on, Phoebe, you can
be my new best friend.

- Yeah, I...I don't think
that's gonna work for me.

- Quiet, new Billy.
[powers zapping]

- Ow!

- Well, Max is my
new best friend.

Let's go, buddy.

You're thinkin'
for two now.

- ♪

- I just got off
the phone with

the Federal Bureau
of Cereal Crimes.

Apparently, they're coming
tomorrow to investigate

an illegal cereal operation.

- Max!
- That's what I thought.

So, when I went down
to his lair,

I found boxes of these.

- Coloss-O's?

Where is that rabbit?

- Panama.
- Panama?

Now, Chloe, did you
teleport him there?

- Uh...

Mommy's pretty.
- Oh...

- Chloe, I want you
to take me to Colosso.

- BOTH: [whooshing]

[whooshing]

- [grunts] You just made
yourself an enemy, kid.

- You just got busted.

- Thanks to you, Colosso,

the cereal police are coming
to my house tomorrow.

- Evidently, your homemade
cereal causes severe tooth loss

and the raisins
aren't really raisins.

- Aren't really raisins?

Colosso, what did you do?

- You mean, what did
I doo-doo?

[chuckling]

- ♪

- NORA: [powers zapping]

- I'm done playing
with Nora.

Her sh**ting lasers
and me yelling "Ouch"

is only fun for one person!

What's with
the walkie-talkie?

- Gotta feed Billy thoughts.

- BILLY: Max, come in.

I can't see.

- Turn the lights on, buddy.

- BILLY: Good thinking, Max.

- I don't care, Colosso.

You're going back
in your cage.

And don't ever use Chloe

to teleport you anywhere
ever again.

- COLOSSO: [screaming]

- Max did you hear that?

Chloe can teleport
with other people.

- You didn't know that?

I haven't been walking
to school in two weeks.

- BILLY: Max, there's
something on my head.

- That's your hair, champ.

- Don't you see?
We can use Chloe to teleport

Billy and Nora
to Amazing Land,

and if we can get
them on that ride,

they'll forget
why they're mad.

- NORA: Phoebe, it's time
to play "Ouch."

- Oh, no, she found me.

Okay, find Billy and Chloe
and meet me in the driveway.

- NORA: [powers zapping]
- PHOEBE: Ahh!

- ♪

- All right, Chloe says
she's ready

to take us to Amazing Land.

- Buckle up, baby.

- Let's do this, Max.

[blowing hot air]
- [ice cracking]

- What's he doing here?
- What's she doing here?

- Now, Chloe!
- To Amazing Land!

- ALL: [whooshing]

[whooshing]

- Whoa. How'd you get Amazing
Land in our driveway?

- We're at Amazing Land,
old Billy.

I'm so glad I don't have
to deal with that anymore.

- Hey, Chloe, why don't
you go wait over by Thunderman?

- That's Daddy!

- Okay, now we brought you
guys here after hours

so you can make up.

So...

here's Thunderman: The Ride.

Come on, hurry up
and hop on

and you guys can be
friends again.

It'll be great.
Come on.

Yay, we're two riding.

- Come on, guys.

Then, Billy, you can
move outta my lair

and, Nora, no disrespect,
you can do whatever you want.

- No way I'm gonna
ride that with him

until he apologizes.

- Of course. Let's
all wait for Nora.

Wait. Wait. Wait.
- [mocking] Wait. Wait.

- Max, we need to do

what we should have done
in the first place.

- Don't you say it.
- Tell the truth.

- You're so weak.

- NORA & BILLY: I'm never
talking to you again!

- Wait, guys.
You can't go.

Look, Billy, you never
kicked Nora

and, Nora, you never
shoved Billy.

We did.

- Okay, look, the truth is

Max and I are afraid of riding
Thunderman: The Ride.

It's just so terrifying
with the up and the down

and the barfing.

- And we didn't want our
secret shame to get out,

so we used our superpowers to
trick you guys into fighting,

so Dad would turn
the car around.

- So, this is all your fault?

- Because you wanted to
keep your secret?

- Yeah.

We're sorry.

- We have to talk
about this.

- Look, Max, it's working.

- I'll never forgive you.

- Great, you jinxed it.

Hey, Nora, it's okay.

Don't cry.

- NORA: I'm not crying.

I'm laughing.
[laughing]

Now, Billy!

- BILLY: [zooming]

- What are you doing?
- Oh, just a little payback.

- [palm slap]

- HANK'S RECORDED VOICE:
Prepare for blast off.

- We apologized and all
that garbage.

You can't do this.

- Watch us.

- HANK: Five, four, three...

- Break the rule
and hold me.

- Only if you hold me.

- HANK: Thunderman, away!

- MAX & PHOEBE: [screaming]

- Bye-bye.

- Sorry about what
I said earlier.

- No, you were right.

I can't do anything
without you--

because I have so much fun
doing everything with you.

- Me, too.

That's always why I make
you wait for me--

so we can do fun stuff
like this together.

- MAX & PHOEBE: [screaming]

- BILLY & NORA: [laughing]

- We're not really gonna
ride this thing, are we?

- Absolutely not.
They look terrified.

- PHOEBE: [screaming]

- BILLY & NORA: [laughing]

- Now that's a scream face.

- It really captures
their fear and shame.

Good call in making them
ride it times.

Come on, let's go put
this in our room.

- BILLY & NORA: Family!

- I'm really sorry.

I had no idea it was illegal to
make cereal in my basement.

But $ , . That seems
like a pretty steep fine.

Would you take
a bunny instead?

- You know, some day

I'm sure we'll look
back on this and laugh.

- I'll be laughing,
you will be screaming.

- Hey! Hey! Come on!

Whoa! Oh!

Ohhhhhhhhh!

Hi, I'm Dr. Colosso.

You know, we had a lotta
laughs here today.

But there's one thing
that's no laughing matter--

tooth decay.

So, it's important to brush
your teeth after every meal

with a doctor-recommended
toothpaste like mine--

Dr. Coloss-O's toothpaste.

Now in raisin flavor.

- HANK: Colosso!
- Uh-oh.

- ♪
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