- Ready...
Set...
Stretch!
- [rubber arms creaking]
- Aw, are you guys playing
Tug 'o Link again?
- The winner gets to sit
next to Link at the movies.
- The loser has to sit
next to you, Phoebe.
Sorry, you're a popcorn hog.
- NORA: [powers zapping]
- BILLY: Ow!
- NORA: I win!
- [whooshing]
How about we play
"Hurry Up"?
- PHOEBE: [laughing]
I love how much fun you
have with my siblings.
- Well, what can I say?
I've got "party"
written all over me.
- Uh, you actually do.
- Well, that's a reminder to
pick up the birthday cake--
you know, for Harris'
birthday party on Saturday.
- I feel so bad--I hardly
even know your brother
and my brother loves you.
- Ugh! Link's here again?
- My other brother.
- But, since I have
your attention,
fill your eyeballs
with the centerpiece
of my new villain uniform.
Behold, the Cloak of--whoa!
- [heavy thud]
- The Cloak of Whoa.
I like it.
- Don't you have
your own home?
- Dark Mayhem wants to see
your evil villain uniform,
not your Friar Tuck costume.
- Let me guess.
You wanna help me design
my new villain uniform?
- I thought you'd never ask.
How do you feel
about rhinestones?
- What should I get your
brother for his birthday?
I don't even know
what the little guy's into.
- Well, he is pretty quiet.
So, he's into silent movies,
silent auctions,
well, being silent.
Oh, and one normal
thing--pirates,
which is why his party is at
a pirate-themed laser tag place.
- Oh, you mean las-arrrr-tag.
I may or may not
have a punch card.
- Oh, look what I got
for the kids to wear.
Right?
- Whoa.
That patch makes you
look just like your dad
when he was still Evil Man.
- Old and creepy?
I'm taking this off.
- Oh, wait, here's an idea.
Why don't I hang out
with Harris on Saturday
while you guys are setting
up the surprise party?
It'll be the perfect
chance for us to bond.
- Really? That'd be
a big help, actually.
- I said, hurry up.
I'll miss the previews.
- LINK: [laughing]
- Evil Man's eyepatch
would be perfect for
your villain uniform.
It tapped into his brain
and amplified
his evil instincts.
- I know.
Without an eyepatch,
Evil Man was just Cranky Man.
Too bad he destroyed it.
- You could build your own,
if you could find its power
source--evilinium.
But that stuff's harder to find
than a talking lady bunny.
- If it's out there,
we'll find it.
- The lady bunny?
- No, the evilinium.
You'll never find love.
Lady bunny...
- ♪
♪ What you see ♪
♪ Is not what you get ♪
♪ Livin' our lives
with a secret ♪
♪ We fit right in ♪
♪ Bet you never guessed ♪
♪ 'Cause we're
livin' our lives ♪
♪ Just like all the rest ♪
♪ A picture
perfect family ♪
♪ Is what we try to be ♪
♪ Look closer,
you might see ♪
♪ The crazy things we do ♪
♪ This isn't
make believe ♪
♪ It's our reality ♪
♪ Just your average family ♪
♪ Trying to be normal
and stay out of trouble ♪
♪ Livin' a double life ♪
- Hey, Phoebs, thanks again
for watching Harris
while I set up for
his party and, listen,
don't be bummed if you don't
get him out of his shell.
- Please, I'm great
with shells.
I once got a turtle
outta his.
It bit me right after,
but still...
- Remember, the party's
tonight at : .
And, shhh, it's a surprise.
- Okay.
- Come on, Harris.
Don't be shy.
- Hey, there, Harris.
- Link, why is your girlfriend
trying to punch me?
- [laughing]
She's not trying to punch you.
You're not trying
to punch him, are you?
- What? No, it's a...
it's a fist bump.
Okay, don't worry.
This is how things started
with the turtle, too.
- You tried to
fist bump a turtle?
No wonder it bit you.
- PHOEBE: [laughing]
Don't worry, okay?
I've got this.
- Well, sure you do,
but just in case,
here's a list of
safe hand gestures.
Bye, buddy.
- No way, babe. Why would--
- HANK: Hi!
- HARRIS: [screaming]
- [heavy thud]
- Dad, get out! Get out!
It's okay, Harris.
The loud man's gone.
So, um...
Oh, Link tells me you
have fire powers.
I do, too.
Check it out.
[blowing hot air]
Your turn.
- [finger clicks]
- No, really, go.
- That's it.
That's my power.
Fire pinky.
- That is super impressive!
- My mom calls me her
"Widdle Night Wight."
- Uh, anyway...
Oh, I hear you like pirates
and every pirate needs a parrot.
So I pulled some strings
and got us...
a raven!
They were out of parrots.
- Aren't ravens
kinda dangerous?
- Dangerous?
Harris, I am the Protector
of Hiddenville.
I am pretty sure I can
handle some silly bird.
- [latch pops]
- [raven cawing]
- PHOEBE: Oh! Oh!
And we're hugging already.
Yay.
- [raven cawing]
- How's my replica of
Evil Man's eyepatch comin'?
- Great! Just need to add
a few more rhinestones.
Don't we sparkle, Max?
- In the worst way.
I need these things
off my patch.
Now I located the last
of the evilinium.
But it's heavily guarded
by native tribes.
- So, you just need
to find someone
dumb enough to go get it.
- BILLY: [zooming]
Got it!
Easy. Just like you said.
I didn't even need
the shield you gave me.
- All right, the evilinium
needs a few hours
to charge the patch,
but once it's fully powered,
it'll squash all
the good instincts
Mom and Dad keep sayin'
are in here somewhere.
And now we wait. Simple.
- Well, since we have time,
let's go shopping
for your villain uniform.
But, first,
watch me sparkle!
- [disco music]
- COLOSSO: Yeah!
- Hey, sweetie.
Why are the sandwiches Mom
packed for your picnic on fire?
- The picnic got boring--
which gave me time to
work on my trick sh*t.
Check this one out.
Off the window,
off the garbage can,
melting the juice box.
[powers zapping]
- [juice sizzling]
- Nora Thunderman,
while impressive,
sh**ting lasers across
the yard is very dangerous.
- That's what I said!
- You have to be more careful
using your powers, Nora.
Your trick sh*ts have cost
me a stack of sandwiches,
the flat screen TV,
and my lucky sweatpants.
- Yes, it was
definitely Nora
who destroyed your
lucky sweat pants.
Now, go, clean up this mess.
- Fine. I will.
After I pull off the mother
of all trick sh*ts.
You're gonna wanna
come outta
your garbage 'hood
for this, Billy.
Off Wong's house,
off that bird feeder,
off the power lines,
nothin' but watermelon.
[powers zapping]
- CHLOE: Hi, guys.
- BILLY: [zooming]
- [watermelon splats]
- I almost lasered Chloe.
- You need a time out, lady.
[whooshing]
- The whole, uh, bird thing
was quite an adventure, huh?
Bet you're gonna be
"raven" about it later.
Get it?
- Yeah, I get it.
Can I go home?
- [sighing]
Home?
We're having so much fun.
- [raven cawing]
- PHOEBE: Bird!
- [raven cawing]
- Hey, what's that?
- Oh, don't go down there.
That's Max's--
- Whoa!
It's just like
a secret bunker
from one of my pirate books.
- Uh, well, yeah,
I was gonna say...
don't go down there
'cause that's Max's
sister's secret bunker.
But guess what?
I'm Max's sister.
Let's check it out.
- Whoa! It's like
a giant treasure chest.
Is this all yours?
- Yep, it's definitely
all mine--Phoebe's.
- All right, let's set sail
for Harris' P-arrrr-ty!
You know,
my pirate impression
really deserves
a gold st-arrrr!
- Kids, hurry up, so your father
can stop talking like this.
- Billy, that's not
what a pirate looks like.
- I'm protecting
myself from Laser Girl.
I don't wanna get
blown up like a melon.
- What are you talking about?
- I've said too much.
- I have an announcement
to make.
Henry, Barbara, William,
whatever name "Chloe"
is short for.
- It's Chloenethia, right?
[laughs]
Yeah, I'm right.
- I've thought about it
and I was being
careless with my powers.
So, I've decided to
never use them again.
Carry on.
- Whew, it looks like I won't
be needing this anymore.
But I will need pants.
- Cool! What's this?
- Something dangerous!
Put it down!
Oh, hey, look what I found--
in my own room.
- I love eyepatches.
- And I love
that we're bonding.
- COLOSSO:
You are gonna look great
in your new villain
uniform, Maxie.
- Are there enemies
invading your bunker?
- Uh, yes. You go guard
pirate rock
and I'll go guard
pirate slide.
Get out me secret bunker,
ya scallywag.
- What are you doin'
in here, dorgeous?
- Okay, nothing weird.
- [raven cawing]
- The bird can stay.
You have to go.
- I'm sorry, it's just
I've tried everything
with Link's little brother
and, believe it or not,
he finds me a little boring.
- A little?
- Buh! Buh! Buh!
So, I told him that this
was my secret bunker
and all of your gadgets
were hidden treasures.
- And he bought that?
- Yeah, and look how
much fun he's having
wearing the eyepatch.
- [gasping]
My evil eyepatch?
- You mean that harmless
little thing on his head
that's glowing
an ominous red color?
That's new.
- Uh-huh.
- So's this!
- [flames roaring]
- Well, at least somebody gets
to sparkle in this place.
- You recreated
Evil Man's eyepatch?
- Now it's sending millions
of hate-filled neurons
right into his innocent
little brain.
Lucky kid.
- So, what?
Harris is like evil now?
The kid doesn't have
an evil bone in his body.
- Uh...
- Evil. Got it.
- [sniffing]
What smells good?
Whoa, my biscuits
are burning!!!
- Hey, Harris, stop!
That's a custom-made table.
- But it's fun.
- [blowing icy air]
Okay, how are we gonna
destroy that eyepatch
without hurting Harris?
- There will be no destroying
the patch, Phoebe.
- Why not?
- Because I had to risk
my life to get that.
I mean, I risked Billy's
life, but still...
lives were risked, Phoebe.
- We have to fix this.
- We?
You are the one that
lied to Harris
about this being
your bunker.
- Well...
- It's clearly an evil lair.
- You lied to me--
and froze me?
- Okay, I know that
that sounds bad, but--
Whoa, that is a really
big night light.
- Oh! Colosso, you said
this was fireproof.
- I know and now you have proof
that it catches on fire.
- [piece of rock clatters]
- MAX & PHOEBE: Run!
- [fireballs thudding]
- Oh, I hope your thundertanium
door holds him off.
Um, are these
notes from Mom?
- No! They're
my evil reminders.
"Put the empty milk carton
back in the fridge."
and "Don't flush the toilet,"
that sort of thing.
- "Feeling blue?
This coupon is good for
one Mommy-Maxie hug."
- In my defense,
I never cashed it in.
- Wait, do you hear that?
- No.
- Exactly.
I think he wore
himself out.
- Or Colosso sold us
out and told him
to climb up the slide
and open the hatch.
- He wouldn't
do that, would he?
Oh, no, he's out.
- Thanks a lot, Colosso.
- COLOSSO:
You know what I am.
- Keep your eyes out.
He could be anywhere.
- Like over here?
- MAX & PHOEBE:
[gasping]
- [fireballs thudding]
- Oh, no, it's time for
Harris' surprise party.
- MAX: What?
- It's time for Harris'
surprise par--
- Surprise party?
I love surprises!
Did you guys just
ruin the surprise?
- No, not all of it.
We didn't tell you about
the pirates or laser tag or--
I'm gonna stop talking now.
- You ruined
my surprise party
and now I'm gonna ruin
it for everyone else!
- [fireball thudding]
- MAX: Oh!
My swoosh! He got my swoosh?
Phoebe, did he hurt
my swoosh?
- Oh, we have to stop Harris
before Link finds
out I turned him evil--
and before anyone gets hurt.
Pretend I said those
in reverse order.
- All right, I just texted
Nora and got us a ride.
- [whooshing]
All aboard the Chloe Train,
choo-choo!
- ALL: [whooshing]
[whooshing]
- Ain't no party
like a laser party!
- Don't head into the arena yet.
Harris isn't here.
We have to yell "surprise!"
- Okay, as soon as
Harris arrives,
we'll isolate him
and destroy the patch.
- We're not destroying
the patch.
You're forgetting that part
and it worries me.
All right.
I can modify one of the laser
taggers to sh**t real lasers--
so I can disarm the patch.
- LINK: Stop!
- Link's coming!
- Hey, hey, those
aren't your presents.
This isn't a vacation
for you!
- Thanks to Chloe
we should have
a little bit of time
before Harris shows up.
- All right.
- Or he stole a scooter.
He's here!
- Let's heat this party up.
- Aw, it should be me
all one-eyed and menacing.
- Come on!
- Suit up, Nora.
For one night only,
we're both Laser Girl.
- I told you.
I'm off lasers.
Real ones and fake ones.
- This is fake?
Next you're gonna tell me
those teenaged girls
texting on their cell phones
aren't even real pirates.
- So, are you ready
to talk about
this whole
"no powers" thing?
- Nothing to talk about.
I'm retired.
I'm just gonna kick back
and relax--like Dad.
- [laughing]
Your father does a lot more
than just
"kick back and relax."
- [gasping]
- [heavy thud]
- Sweetie, what happened?
- I think Dad's chair broke.
- No.
I mean why aren't you
using your lasers anymore?
- You know my trick sh*t?
- Mm-hm.
- One of them almost
zapped Chloe.
- [sighing]
Oh, I see.
And now you're afraid
to use your superpower.
Honey, I get why
you're scared.
But the answer's
just being more careful,
not giving up
your powers completely.
- I don't know, Mom.
- Well, I do.
You are a superhero, Nora.
There's gonna come a time
when people will need your help
and I know you'll
do the right thing.
If you ever doubt yourself,
just read this.
- "Your heart is bigger
than your swoosh"?
- Oh, sorry,
that one's for Max.
This one's yours.
- "When a hero falls,
it's the getting back
up that makes them super."
- HANK: [gasping]
- [heavy thud]
- You might need this
note more than I do.
- All right,
I couldn't find Harris
but I know he's
in here somewhere.
- All right. I'm about
to fire real lasers.
Better get these
kids to safety.
- Don't worry. We've got a laser
tag champ clearin' 'em out.
- BILLY: [zooming,
sh**ting lasers]
Finally, a game
no one can b*at me at.
- Yeah, about that.
[fires laser]
- Sorry. Don't worry.
Another game starts
in minutes--
if this place
is still standing.
- All right,
now that everyone's out,
where is this freakish
little fireball?
- HARRIS: That was rude!
- MAX & PHOEBE: [gasping]
- [fireball thuds]
- MAX: Whoa!
Why does he hate
my clothes?
- Harris, I'm not
gonna fight you, okay?
All I wanted was for
us to be close,
but I took it too far.
This is all my fault.
- Which part, exactly?
The lying to me?
The freezing me?
The ruining my surprise?
- Hey, don't forget
about our raven.
He was a "hoot!"
- Shush! Ravens don't hoot
and we are not bonding!
- You're right--we're
blasting that eyepatch
off your adorable
little face.
Oh...
Remember when Phoebe
lied to you?
- I'm about to throw
a fireball at you.
Oh, I'm sorry,
did I ruin the surprise?
- [powers zapping]
- Ow!
- [musical fanfare]
- MAX: Nora?
- Of course. We have our own
laser--with a bow on it.
Nora, how did you
know we needed help?
- Billy told me and I knew it
was time to do the right thing.
- Of course you did.
You're a superhero.
- And I'm a supervillain.
- Quick, Nora,
knock off the eyepatch.
- Gently.
- [powers zapping]
- Cute lasers.
I'll call you when
I need a mole removed.
- [fireball thudding]
- Let's see if he thinks
this trick sh*t's cute.
Off the mirror,
off the treasure chest--
- Less yappy, more zappy.
- [powers zapping]
- [laser beam thudding]
- Nora, you did it!
- Oh, are you okay?
You were too evil
for this world, Patchy.
- Harris, are you hurt?
- I'm fine now.
Thank you for saving me
from that evil eyepatch.
- Harris, how did you
sneak by us?
I mean, surprise!
Aw, look at you guys.
Oh, let me get a pic.
Here, put these eyepatches on.
- Put those away!
- Never again!
- Okay, well then,
let's get you a piece of cake
and you guys can tell
me all about your day.
- Actually--
- Actually, it was
the best day ever.
I'll save you a seat
next to me, Phoebe.
- Wow, he really likes you.
- What can I say?
Guess he really
"warmed up" to me.
- Is there something
burning in here?
- Cake time!
- Well, hope you're proud
of yourself, Nora.
You torched my eyepatch gettin'
your first superhero save.
- Save? Try Saves.
You, Phoebe, Harris,
the kids at the party,
probably the whole city.
- Okay, calm down, zappy.
- Cheer up.
You may have lost your patch,
but I think you've found
your new uniform.
- [laughing]
Whoa.
You're right.
I look super evil.
Oh, and my swoosh
has totally bounced back.
[chuckling]
- Hank, is that a new
mole on your neck?
- Oh, got it.
[powers zapping]
- Nice to have you back,
Laser Girl.
[silently gasping]
- BARB: [gasping]
- CHLOE: What a mess.
- Does somebody want
to explain this?
- Does somebody want
to redeem this?
Mommy-Maxie hug!
- [raven cawing]
- I'll get the broom.
- I'll call animal control.
- ♪
03x09 - Patch Me If You Can
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Series revolves around the Thundermans, a family with superpowers who try to live normal lives in the fictional town of Hiddenville.
Series revolves around the Thundermans, a family with superpowers who try to live normal lives in the fictional town of Hiddenville.