03x18 - I'm Gonna Forget You, Sucka

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Thundermans". Aired: October 14, 2013 - May 25, 2018.*
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Series revolves around the Thundermans, a family with superpowers who try to live normal lives in the fictional town of Hiddenville.
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03x18 - I'm Gonna Forget You, Sucka

Post by bunniefuu »

- This selfie of us
is my favorite.

It definitely says
we're best friends.

- Yeah, I think it says
I have lettuce in my teeth.

- Not as bad as that turkey
scrap on your shirt.

- Cherry, if we wanna win
Best of the Besties

for yearbook, our selfies need
to show us as besties,

not me as # at
The Hoagie Hut.

- Hey, guys, I just voted
for Best of the Besties.

- Aw, thanks.

- For Evan and Eleanor.

- Hater!

- Oh, no, he's not
the only one.

Everyone's voting for them.

- That's because Evan's
bestie is an iguana.

[laughs] And, look, she keeps
her food in her mouth.

- All right, yearbook
voting ends in two days.

We need to post another
selfie right now.

[sighing]

- [phone camera clicks]

- Hey, looks like the deli
is closed. Post it.

- Take that, iguana boy!

- Uh, oh, look behind us.

The Thunderman portrait!

No one can see that.
Delete! Delete! Delete!

- Okay, it's gone!

- [heavy sigh]
Whew, that was close.

If non-supes saw that,
we'd be exposed.

Super President Kickbutt
would not be happy.

- FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE:
Alert! Alert!

Incoming transmission from
Super President Kickbutt--

and she is not happy.

- See ya!

- ♪

♪ What you see ♪

♪ Is not what you get ♪

♪ Livin' our lives
with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in ♪

♪ Bet you never guessed ♪

♪ 'Cause we're
livin' our lives ♪

♪ Just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture
perfect family ♪

♪ Is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer,
you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't
make believe ♪

♪ It's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal
and stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Livin' a double life ♪

- I deleted the photos so fast.
How did you see it?

- We monitor everything, Phoebe.

By the way, don't eat your
lunch--Billy licked it.

If any photos showing you as
superheroes actually got out,

the consequences for your
family would be unspeakable.

- I know. I'm so, so sorry,

and I can promise
it won't happen again.

- That's what you
said after Cherry

wore your super-suit
for Halloween.

Further action will
need to be taken.

- Further action?

You can't ground me,
can you?

- Girl, I could ground your
parents if I wanted to.

But you're not the problem.
Cherry is.

You are to stay away from her

until the Hero League decides
on a course of action.

Your future with us
depends on it.

- Whoa.

So, if I wanna keep
being a superhero,

I have to avoid
my best friend?

Can't I avoid
something else--

like the cafeteria's
clam chowder?

I'm pretty sure those
aren't clams.

- I'm sorry, but when it comes
to matters of security,

there's no compromising.

President Kickbutt, out.

- But...

- Phoebe, I need some advice.

- Maybe later.

- So, there's this
cute boy, Owen.

I'm inviting him over for
a play date in two days.

It has to be perfect.
What should I do?

- [sighing] I'll tell
you what to do.

Don't ever become friends
with him or anyone else

because Super President Kickbutt
wants you to grow old alone!

- You should just
talk about farts.

Boys think they're hysterical.
[laughing]

Oh, farts...
[laughing]

It's like your butt
is talking.

He's chatty today.

- Okay, uh, what about...

this one?

I trained a bunch of
stray cats to pick pockets.

- [cat meowing]
- [wallets thudding]

- Nice work, Bootsie!
- [meowing]

- I'm impressed...
- Thank you.

- ... with myself.
- Oh.

- Because I've finally
figured out

why nothing you do
seems evil enough.

It's your baby face.
- My baby face?

Well, the ladies don't seem
to have a problem with it.

♪ Wah Wah ♪
- Playa!

- Silence!

Every time I look
at your mug,

I want to pinch
those little cheeks,

then rip them off the bone!

- Well... what am
I supposed to do--

hide behind some silly
mask or something?

[laughing]

Which would be
an awesome look!

- Just figure it out,
baby face.

[presses button]

- [sighing] Do I really
have a baby face, Colosso?

- That's our curse, Max--

we're just too adorable.

- Well, you know what
would make me look evil--

facial hair.

Ooh, what if I...

altered the nose hairalyzer
so it'd give me an evil beard?

- I guess it's better
than my plan to shave my fur

and tape it to your face.

Though that would
make us closer.

- Phoebe!
- Phoe-to-the-be!

- What's happening right now?

- Oh, you know, just gettin'
our burger on.

- Daddy put on skinny jeans.

- Oh, I see what's
going on here.

Super President Kickbutt told
you I have to stay away

from my best friend, so you're
here to be the new Cherry.

- Daddy can't sit down.

- Oh, ho, Chloe,
that is not...

true, it...

all right...

You know what?
I'll just...I'll stand,

and take a selfie.

Excuse me, could you take
a selfie for us, please?

- [phone camera clicks]

- Later waiter,
Christian Slater.

Okay, I'm just
embarrassing myself now.

Sweetie, I'm sorry it
has to be this way.

How did Cherry take the news?

- Well, surprisingly well--

mostly 'cause
I didn't tell her yet.

- Phoebe, you're going
to have to tell her.

She deserves to know.

- I know. I just couldn't.

I avoided her all day.

- You can't do that forever.
- Sure, I can.

As long as I've got my...

Randy the Trucker disguise.

Breaker, breaker, ain't no
Phoebe here, good buddy.

- You're going to have
to tell her the truth.

- Your mother's right.
- [material rips]

- Bye-bye, skinny jeans.

- Oh, hello, Evan.

- Phoebe,
Mr. and Mrs. Thunderman,

small girl who I don't know.

Where's Cherry?
Trouble in Paradise?

- No, she's just--
- Speaking of Paradise,

check out my latest
post of Eleanor.

- BARB: Oh, you have
a girlfriend--

who's a reptile.

Well, you two look
very happy together.

- It's not too late for
you and Cherry to back out.

Nice seeing you again,

Mr. and Mrs. Thunderman,
small girl.

- Back out of what?

- Uh, yearbook competition
that Cherry and I

will definitely lose
after I talk to her.

Guess Evan and Eleanor will be
Best of the Besties again.

- Oh, they're just friends.
Okay, good.

- I'm getting close, Colosso.

- So, what beard style
are you goin' with?

The Lincoln Lover
or the Sassy Lumberjack?

- Max, I need your help.
- Maybe later.

- So, there's this
cute boy, Owen...

He's coming over for
a play date today

and I still don't
know what to do.

- Yeech, girly drama.

- What should I wear?
What should we play?

Should I serve snacks?
Help me!

- Wow, you really
sound desperate.

Close the door
on your way out.

- You're the worst
big brother ever.

- Put it on a t-shirt.

Now why is this thing
not working?

- [thudding gadget]

- [zapping]

- What are you two
fools starin' at?

[screaming]

- Ah, the Bearded Lady.
Excellent choice.

- Max, how could you?
Reverse it!

- The nose hairalyzer doesn't
really have a reverse.

I'll just shave it off.

- [shaver buzzing]

- And that should do it.

Just like new.

[gasps]

- Now what?

[screaming]

I thought you shaved it off.

- I did. I grew back.

- Like the smile on my face.

- I can't have a play date
looking like a dirty wizard.

- Don't worry, Nora, I'll fix
it before your play date,

but you'll have to skip school.

Just tell Mom and Dad
you're sick.

- Well, my throat
does feel scratchy--

'cause there's a beard on it!

- It's you and me, Eleanor.
We're gonna win this thing.

- [teeth chomping]
- Ow!

You're right. My fault.

- Okay...

all I have to do
is tell the truth.

How hard could it be?

I have some bad news.

The Hero League has forbidden
me to be friends with you.

We can never talk again.

- Okay, well, then I guess
I'm doing this.

Phoebe Thunderman
has superpowers!

- Okay, so, the truth
won't work.

I'll just have
to keep my bestie

and hide our friendship
from the Hero League.

- Phoebe, where have you been?

You missed the weirdest
trucker yesterday.

You didn't get in trouble with
the Hero League, did you?

- Oh, no, no, no.

That was just about some
paperwork I forgot to fill out.

You know, sign some stuff,
stamp some stuff,

sign, stamp, sign, stamp,
work, work, work!

- Oh, that was close.
Relief selfie.

- Um, let's not post
stuff like that anymore.

- Then how are we supposed
to get enough votes

to with the Best
of the Besties?

- Well, let's be different--

spread the word
the old-fashioned way.

- With da-a-a-ance?

- Yeah, yeah, with dance.

- Staircase dance.

- [phone camera clicks]

- PRESIDENT KICKBUTT:
What is it, Agent Delta?

- Phoebe Thunderman has violated
your orders, ma'am.

I have proof she did not sever
ties with her friend Cherry.

- I was afraid of that.

- Don't worry, I'll handle it.

- [ominous music]

- Vote for me and Cherry--
Best of the Besties,

because friends don't keep
friends in a cage

and feed them crickets.

- Eleanor likes her cage
and her crickets are delicious.

- You've eaten her crickets?

- It was dark in
that theater.

Hey, Cherry was
looking for you.

She was heading towards
the nurse's office.

- Oh, no, I told her not
to eat that clam chowder.

Clams don't have bones.

- Hey, Cherry, Phoebe
was just looking for you.

I can show you where
she is, if you want.

- Okay, thanks.

You're going to prom
with Eleanor, aren't you?

- It's really up to her.

Cherry, wait...

- [zapping]

- [dramatic music]

- Here's some more chicken
noodle soup, Nora.

- I'll give it to her. Just take
off those skinny jeans.

- Oh, even with
my super-strength...

[straining]

I can't rip 'em off.

- Thanks, guys, but I'm fine.

You really don't
have to watch me.

- Oh, okay, good, because
Chloe needs to take us

to the Metroburg Hospital

to get your dad
outta these pants.

- It's a fashion emergency.

- [whooshing]

- What's up, hairy hipster?

Just wanted to let you
know I'm almost done

fixing the nose hairalyzer.

- You'd better be.

- Gross. Is your beard
growing worms?

- They're soup noodles.

This thing's a food magnet.

- [food clattering]
- [spoon clanking]

- I'm just gonna cancel
my play date with Owen.

- Oh, come on, Nora. I only
need a few more minutes.

Have I ever let you down?

- You've seen the badger
on my face, right?

I can't take any chances.

- [phone beeps]

- Billy, I'm glad
I caught you.

You've gotta tell
Owen I'm sick.

- Nora says to tell
you she's sick.

- Sick of waiting for
this play date to start.

- Oh, hey, girls,
have you guys seen Cherry?

- We saw her and Evan leave
just a few minutes ago.

- He knew I was looking for her.
Why didn't he tell her?

- The guy's best friend is an
iguana and that's your question?

- What are you up to, Evan?

Cherry!

- EVAN: [unintelligible]
- Boost audio percent.

- EVAN: ...regarding
operations...

- Boost audio percent.
- EVAN: ...top priority.

- Just boost it all the way!

- EVAN: She's gonna wanna
take this call.

Super President Kickbutt,
this is Agent Delta.

- He works for the Hero League?

- I have the security thr*at

and I'm bringing her in for
a complete memory wipe.

- A memory wipe?

Oh, what have I done?

- When I find you,
Jesse James,

you're goin' to jail.

- Okay, but you'll never get
this bandana off my face.

- Guess what's working now,
my little tween wolf?

- It better be.

We've had to play dumb games

like cowboy train robbery
to hide my face.

What am I, five?

- Not with that beard,
you're not.

- [zapping]
- Ow!

- Let's do this.

- Put yer hands up, Jesse.

And turn around
nice and slow.

Wow...

you take this
game seriously.

It looks so real.

- Ow!

- Wait, it is real.

- Uh, so, about those
farts, huh?

- Heh, farts.

- I can't take
my eyes off it.

- I'll save you the trouble.
Just leave.

- Wait, you're just gonna go?

Well, before you do,
you should know that

my little sister was all worried
about making today perfect,

and I told her it doesn't matter
what she does on her play date,

or how she looks,
that she's an awesome girl,

and any boy should
like her for that.

- You never said that to me.

- I should have.

So, if you don't like
this little sasquatch

for who she is on the inside,
maybe you should hit the road.

- Thanks.

Bye, Owen.

- I don't wanna leave.
I never did.

In fact, seeing your
beard has given me

the courage to share
my secret.

- Yeesh, backsquatch.

- You sound like my doctors.

I should have known you
weren't ready for it.

- Owen, wait.

- What?

- Forgot your backpack.

- Ignore him.

I'm fine with
your back hair,

just like you're
fine with my beard.

So, if you don't
have to go,

there's some of your favorite
pizza we can eat.

- Can this play date
get any better?

- What about your beard?
You want me to zap it off?

- Are you sure it even works?

- Yeah. You should
see my test subject.

- Be honest, Colosso,
how does it look?

- You look like
a middle-aged accountant.

- Yes!

What's an accountant?

- [groaning]

- It's okay. I can lose
the beard after the play date.

- Sometimes it sweats.

- EVAN: Wait here. This'll be
over before you know it.

- Listen, I know that you can't
tell me why I'm here,

but now that I know
you're a secret agent,

wanna get a burger sometime?

- Sorry, Cherry, I'm taken.

- You know where to find me.

- [dramatic music]

- Phoebe! Oh, my gosh.

Did you know that
Evan is a secret agent?

I think they're recruiting
me to be a superhero.

- Cherry, they brought you
here to erase your memory.

- A superhero who
can't remember anything.

[laughing]
I'm halfway there already.

- No, this isn't about
you becoming a superhero.

The Hero League wanted me to
stop being friends with you

because of that selfie you
posted, but I refused.

Now we have to get
you outta here.

- Phoebe.
- Hey, Evan--

if that's even
your real name.

- It's not. It's Lucius.

- Well, I'm gonna
stick with Evan.

Oh, uh, good news.

I took care of erasing
Cherry's memory myself.

Cherry, name the states.

- I can't do that.
- See? Success.

- Nice try, but I don't think
you understand what's happening.

- I completely understand

and you need to release my
friend or pay the consequences.

- [zapping]

- [blowing air]
What did you do?

- I neutralized
your superpowers.

- Whoa, some watch.

Where can I get one?

- It took me years of
training to earn this watch.

- Thirty years?
How old are you?

- Old enough to know

Cherry's a serious risk
to the Thundermans.

- And I'm a serious
risk to you.

- [dramatic music]

- [objects clattering]

- What is going on?

- I'm saving my best friend.

The Hero League
has gone too far.

Memory wiping and spying
on me in school?

My straight "A"s
and perfect attendance

are none of your business.

- Agent Delta wasn't spying,
he was protecting you.

The Thunderman family
is very valuable to us.

- Yeah, well, Cherry
is very valuable to me.

Her friendship
is the best thing

that's happened to me since
moving to Hiddenville.

- Aww...

- If I have to sacrifice
being a superhero

to keep you from attaching one
of those gizmos to her brain

and erasing her memory,
then I will.

- Sacrifice selfie.

- You really can't
remember anything.

- Erase her memory?

We're not erasing her memory.

We're erasing
her phone's memory.

- What?

- Cherry continued
to take pictures

when we ordered you
to end contact with her.

That forced our hand
and here we are--

a broken lab cart and
a -year-old man on his back.

- BOTH: Fifty?!

- That's my superpower.
I don't age.

- Never mind about
that burger.

- I'm so sorry about this.

- You really thought we were
going to erase Cherry's memory?

We're not animals, Phoebe.

We're the good guys.

- You can't fire me.

I didn't know it was

Super President Kickbutt's
parking spot.

- That was unfortunate timing.

Cell phone, please?

- I got a good one of
that guy getting fired.

Be sure to tag me, okay?

Thank you for
fighting for me.

- Hey, it's what
best friends do.

Who cares what
the kids at school think.

We know we're
the Best of the Besties.

- I'm glad you feel that way
because Eleanor and I just won

Best of the Besties
for the third time.

- Great! We lost to an old man
and his weird lizard.

- Congratulations, Evan.

- It's Lucius.
- Still stickin' with Evan.

- Well, since my nerd cover is
blown, I guess this is goodbye.

Gotta get home to the kids.

- BOTH: You have kids?!

- Sorry, Mr. Mayhem,

but you're gonna have
to deal with this baby face.

I don't need facial hair because
I'm evil on the inside.

- I'm disappointed
in him, too, sir.

- I have proof that I'm evil.

- Look what I did
to this little girl.

- [laughing]

Giving a little girl a beard is
not only evil, it's hilarious.

- I've never been more
proud of him, too, sir.

- Stop kissing my butt,
you filthy rabbit.

- Max?

Do you wanna explain this?

- Nope.

- ♪
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