03x21 - Robin Hood: Prince of Pheebs

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ W-w-w-w-we're going
on a date night ♪

♪ A night without our children ♪

- ♪ No kids, no problem,
freedom ♪

- You guys have to do that
every time you go out?

- Oh, honey, we love you,
but you made us old.

- Dad, why aren't you wearing
your awesome new glasses?

- Oh, Thunderman
does not need glasses.

I have the vision
of a jungle cat.

[growls] Ah!

- Lucky for you, there are
no coffee tables in the jungle.

- Hey, thanks
for watching Chloe.

- It'll be so easy.

I mean, she kinda adores me.

Greatest big sis ever.

Oh, I even bought her
new pajamas

with sparkly slippers.

- Oh.
- Ah.

- I look good, baby.

- Mom, Dad!

Billy got salami grease
all over my tablet.

- Actually, you got your tablet
all over my salami grease.

Apologize.

- Billy,
enough with the salami eating.

- But it's full of all kinds
of Italian vitamins,

like these white speaks
and chewy things.

- Just listening to you kids
makes me older.

Off to the movies.

Thunderman, away!

- [crash]

- Sorry, Barb, shall we?

All right, bye, guys.

- All right, have fun, guys.
- Bye.

- All right, Chloe,
who's ready to hear

the story of Robin Hood?

- Max!

- Apparently not you.

- Hello, my little munchkin.

I heard the tooth fairy

brought you a silver dollar
last night.

- Cha-ching!

- Excellent.

Now, watch as I place the money
behind your ear and...

poof, it's gone. [laughs]

- Can you stay with us?

- Well, of course, I can.

I'm just not gonna.

- Hey.

Give Chloe her money back.

- I'm just keeping it safe
for her.

Like her birthday money.

- I love Max.
He's my favorite.

- Whoa, Max is your favorite?

The same Max who just stole
your tooth money?

- He's funny,
and he has great hair.

- I have great hair, too.

Come on, what does he have
that I don't have?

- A bunny, a band, a slide--
- Okay, new plan.

Uh...I have a better story
than Robin Hood.

It's called Phoebe Hood,

and it might
just change the way

you feel about certain people
in this house.

Once upon a time,
in a land far, far away,

there lived a beautiful girl
named Chloe the Cute.

Everyone loved her,
and she loved everyone,

except the evil sheriff.

- Hello, peasants.

It is I, Sheriff Maxingham.

[evil laughing]
- [thunder rumbles]

- Sheriff Maxingham is evil?

- Oh, yeah.

He's definitely
not anyone's favorite.

And his hair
is not so great either.

- ♪

♪ What you see
is not what you get ♪

♪ Living our lives
with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in,
bet you'd never guess ♪

♪ Because we're living our lives
just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture-perfect family
is what we try to be ♪

♪ But closer you might see
the crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make-believe ♪

♪ It's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family
trying to be normal ♪

♪ And stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Living a double life ♪

- Tell me more.

- Hey, if you want to hear
the whole Phoebe Hood story,

you're gonna need a snack.

- Where'd you get
movie theater popcorn?

- From Daddy.

- Okay. Anyway, um, where was I?

Oh, right.

The mean old Sheriff Maxingham
had just arrived.

Did I mention nobody liked him?

Especially Chloe the Cute.

- Now line up and pay your taxes
for the king,

you deadbeats.

- We barely have enough money
for food, dye-bro-sof.

- I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you
over the sound of your stench.

Now hand over the lute.

And the rest of you,
show me the money!

I said show, not throw.

What about you, little girl?

Do you have anything of value
for the king?

- Nope.

- Hmm.

What about
those golden slippers?

Hand 'em over, Hobbit Child.

- Hey, you won't get
away with this, Sheriff Dude.

- Oh, yeah?
Who's gonna stop me?

- ♪

- I'm going to stop you.

- And you are?

- Phoebe Hood,
protector of the weak and...

other people
who can't afford to shower.

- You may protect
the poor and stinky,

but who's gonna protect you?

- They are.

- ♪

- These are my merry men.

- [clearing throats]

- I'm sorry.
I mean, my merry crew.

Barb Marian.

Little Hank.

- Your days of stealing
are over, Maxingham.

- He's that way.

You'd know that
if you wore your glasses.

- Don't forget Friar Billy.

- May the salami be with you.

- And finally--

- Beyoncé?

- Uh, sure,
if that's what you want,

then yes, Beyoncé.

- ♪

- Hey! Who greased up my tablet?

- He who felt it dealt it.

- Guys, can we focus on
fighting injustice here, please?

- You think you scare us?

My men are fearless.

That changes things.

- We'll take our belongings now,
if you don't mind.

- You haven't heard
the end of this, Phoebe Hood.

- ALL: Phoebe Hood! Phoebe Hood!
Phoebe Hood!

- You're my favorite,
Phoebe Hood.

She should be your favorite,
too, Tiny Dude.

- PHOEBE: And so Phoebe Hood
and her merry crew

started giving everyone back
their stuff.

But Chloe the Cute's slippers
were nowhere to be found.

- What happened
to the slippers?

- They were stolen
by that jerk Max.

Phff, did I say Max?

I meant Maxingham.

Funny, they almost
sound the same, don't they?

- Anyway, back at the castle,
Sheriff Maxingham

trembled in fear before
his mighty, all-powerful king.

- Fear me!

You dare to return
to King Colosso with no money?

Have you seen
the royal treasury?

We are this close
to being common folk.

I can't even afford
a decent jester.

- What do you call a pony
with a sore throat?

A little horse.

- [drum plays]

- Uhhhh.

You've got to get rid
of Phoebe Hood.

- How?

I don't know how to find her.

- Well, if you don't,

I'll tell everyone
you wear a wig.

- That was a secret
between friends.

Wait! I have an idea.

If we can't find her,
maybe we can lure her to us

by hosting an archery contest.

- She'll never show.

- She will, if these are
the grand prize.

- Uh. Golden slippers?

- When Phoebe Hood
shows up for these,

we'll be waiting for her.

- Why did the king
go to the dentist?

To get his teeth crowned!

- [drum plays]

- And they accuse me of t*rture.

- ♪

- PHOEBE: So, the king
threw a contest,

and invited the best archers
from across the land.

- [applause]

- ♪

- I promise I will
win back your slippers.

- You're my hero, Phoebe Hood.

- Bad-da-da-ba-ba-ba!

Make way for the king!

- [crowd booing]

- Boooo!

- Oh, look how
they love their king,

calling me their boos.

Back at ya, boos!

- You ready to catch
Phoebe Hood, Your Highness?

- This better work, Maxingham,
or I'll put you on poop patrol.

- And you people
wonder why I stink.

- [clears throat]

Let the royal contest begin!

Our first contestant,
Sheriff Maxingham.

- Watch and learn, people.

- ♪

- [crowd gasps]

- Boo-yah!

That's how you do it.

I guess those golden slippers
are all mine.

Unless, someone here
can b*at me.

- I'd like to give it a sh**t.

- You?

All right, fine.

But hurry up,

I'm in the middle of
a genius plan to find someone.

Ssh.

- I'm so glad you're done
with that greasy thing.

Me, too.

Now I can start on this bad boy!

- ♪

- [crowd cheers]

- Hooray!

- She split
the sheriff's arrow in two!

- [crowd cheering]

- Talk about
a split personality.

- [drum plays]

- Ugh, where's the black plague
when you need it?

- [applause]

- You broke my favorite arrow.

Only one person in the kingdom
could do that.

Phoebe Hood.

I knew you wouldn't be able
to resist those slippers.

Guards, arrest her!

- ♪

- I guess we're doing this
the hard way.

- [grunting]

- ♪

- [grunting]

- ♪

- Don't worry, Phoebe Hood,

I'll take out those guards
with my incredible aim.

- Oh!

- Ah-ta! [laughing]

Why isn't everyone
cheering for me?

- Because you just captured
Phoebe Hood.

- Ooh, I thought
she was over there.

- That's Stonehenge.

- Friar Billy,
fetch the weapons cart.

- Oops, I guess I grabbed
the wrong cart.

No one eat the soup tonight.

- Maxingham, your plan worked.

Don't worry, Phoebe Hood,
I'll give you a fair trial.

- [gavel bangs]
- Guilty!

I sentence you to be flung
from the kingdom by catapult!

- [crowd gasps]

- Your tax dollars at work,
people.

- ♪

- Phoebe Hood!

- [evil laughing]

- Not Phoebe Hood,
she's my favorite.

- Yep.

Oh, you wanna know a secret?

Phoebe Hood is really me.

I guess that makes me
your favorite.

- Is Maxingham really Max?

- Yep.

I guess that makes him
not your favorite.

- What's up, party people?

- You're a naughty sheriff.

- I'm a naughty what now?

- Chloe, what happened to Max?

- I left him at the North Pole.

- Why would you do that?

- Your story, silly.

- Oh.

- ♪

- Chloe, you need to bring
Max back from the North Pole.

- Nope.

- Why not? Come on,
he's your favorite, remember?

- No, you're my favorite.

- So hard to enjoy that

while Max is getting eaten
by a polar bear.

- We're home!

- Date night
is officially over.

- Already?

I mean, you guys were barely
even gone an hour.

What kind of date night is that?

- Uh, your father
couldn't see the screen,

because he forgot his glasses.

- Well, also,
someone stole my popcorn.

I bet Max had something
to do with it.

Max!

- Wait, no, Dad, um...
Max went to bed early.

I think he's coming down
with a cold.

- Oh, he's cold.

- You know what?

Why don't you guys go
and get some ice cream, huh?

My treat.

Can't let your date night
end like this.

♪ You're going back out
on your date night ♪

♪ A night
without your children ♪

♪ No kids, no problems ♪

- BOTH: ♪ Freedom ♪

- Okay, Chloe, listen.

I know I may have told you
a story

that made Max seem evil.

But you're gonna
wanna bring him back

when you hear
the end of the story.

Back at the kingdom,
Phoebe Hood was held prisoner.

But to everyone's surprise,
Maxingham had a change a heart.

- I've had a change of heart.

- Hooray for Maxingham!

- CROWD: Hooray!

- BOTH: The end.

- ♪

- Booooo!

I'm going to bed.

- Wait, no, no, no.

My bad, I, uh--I told you
the wrong ending.

Uh, this is how it really goes.

Phoebe Hood
was about to be catapulted

out of the kingdom forever.

- Goodbye!

I shall miss you all.

Even you, Poop Patrol.

- She knows my name.

- Please don't get rid
of Phoebe Hood.

- Sorry, kid.

Can't be this good-looking
and nice at the same time.

- Yes, you can.

- PHOEBE: Meanwhile,
the merry crew was desperate

to find a way to save
Phoebe Hood and themselves.

- We have to save Phoebe Hood.

- And ourselves.

- The worst part is,

I can't get this wedgie
out of my moat.

- Let the flinging begin!

- Release her!

- That's what I said.

Release the thing
and make her fling.

- Don't...even think about it.

- Maxingham,
what are you doing?

- Fighting for justice

and slipper-less children
everywhere.

- [crowd cheering]

- What?

It takes a lot of courage
to do the right thing.

- Friar Billy,
your greasy salami hands

let you slide
right out of your shackles.

- Whoo, that was close.

I wouldn't want
to get in any more trouble.

- No, get out of there
and free us all.

- Oooh.

- And help me with this wedgie.

- Are you going soft on me,
Maxingham?

Last time I checked,
this was the medieval times.

Not the mid-nice guy times.

- [drum beats]

- Clever.

- Guards! Get him!

- ♪

- [grunting]

- Maxingham,
you're good after all

and should never be stranded
in the North Pole.

- What are you talking about?

- Nothing.
Just hand me a sword.

Really?

- Ah!

- [grunting]

- ♪

- [grunts]

- ♪

- [grunting]

- We're free!

- ♪

- Merry crew, snap the whip!

- I can't see where I'm going.

- Put on your glasses!

- All right.

[moaning]

Uh, that felt good!

Oh, everything is so clear.

- Get up, you buffoons!

- Wait, our king
is a talking rabbit?

Does everyone know this?

- ♪

- [crowd cheering]

- Yeah!

Phoebe Hood is safe!

So is anyone buying this?

- Don't worry,
we'll give you a fair trial.

- Oh, argh!

- Guilty!

- You wouldn't dare.

Wah!

You d-d-d-did!

- [crowd cheering]

- If I'm not mistaken,
these belong to you.

- My golden slippers.

- From now on, I'd like to steal
for good instead of evil.

That is if you'll have me.

- What do you say, Chloe?

Should we let Maxingham
join our merry crew?

- Yes!

- [crowd ahs]

- This is so "sweeches."

[sobbing]

These tears count as a shower.

- I dub thee
Sir Good Hair of the Merry Men.

- Merry crew!

Why don't you people get this?

- ALL: Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

- I don't suppose
you need a funny jester

to lighten things up
every now and then?

- Sure. Do you know one?

- [drum beats]

- ALL: [laughing]

- ♪

- So Maxingham
was now part of the merry crew,

and became Chloe the Cute's

favorite person
in the entire kingdom.

The end.

- So Maxingham is good?

- Yeah.

You only thought he was bad
because his jealous twin sister

reworked a classic
to win you over.

- I like Phoebe Hood
and Maxingham.

They're both my favorite.

- Okay, good.

So, can we please
bring Max back now?

- [shivering]

B-b-b-b-rain f-f-f-freeze.

[sighing]

Thanks for bringing me back
from the North Pole, Chloe.

Why'd you take me
to the North Pole, Chloe?

- [chuckles] I mean,
why do kids anything, right?

So weird.

- We're home.

- And we brought ice cream.

- Ice cream?

You think that's funny?

- Why'd he do that?

- Uh, why do kids
do anything, right?

So weird.

Oh, hey,
your new glasses look good.

- Well, yeah.

I decided
just because I need glasses

doesn't mean
I'm not heroic or handsome.

- He couldn't read
the ice cream menu.

- Why is there grease
on the remote?

Billy!

- Sorry, it wasn't Billy.

What can I say?

The kid knows his salami.

- It's great in smoothies, too.

Nope, it's not.

I'm gonna go puke.

- I love Billy.

He's my favorite.

- ♪

- ♪