05x34 - Forest Pirates

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Teen Titans Go!". Aired: April 23, 2013 – present.*
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Animated series that follows the adventures of the young Titans: Beast Boy, Robin, Cyborg, Raven and Starfire.
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05x34 - Forest Pirates

Post by bunniefuu »

[animal sounds]

[music]

Summer's here Let's get outside Pack your bags Hop in the ride Let's go, let's go This is gonna be so great Oh, man, I can hardly wait Summer camp Super summer hero camp Summer camp Super summer hero camp
- They got lakes
- We'll jump right in 'em
- Canoe races
- Yeah, we'll win 'em Stargazing, making wishes Summer love Fireside kisses Hanging out Making new friends I hope this summer never ends Summer Camp Super summer hero camp Summer camp Super summer hero camp
- Roasting s'mores
- Campfire songs So much fun You just can't go wrong Making memories, having fun Running around Hold up, shh! What's that sound? Something's in The bush over there [growls]

Ahh! It's a bear Run, run, run, run Summer time Fun, fun, fun Summer camp Super summer hero camp Summer camp Super summer hero camp [camera shutter clicks]

Ah, take in that fresh air, Titans.

Once again, we return to the majestic outdoors for our annual week at summer camp! [trumpet blows]

And why do we take time out from our busy, crime
-fighting lives to come to camp? To be ones with Mama Earth?
- Nope.


- Hey!
- To disconnect from the electronics?
- Wrong! [cell phone shatters]

[gasps]


- To frolic outdoors?
- We do not frolic! Ow! [groans]

[grunting]

We are here for one reason, to win the camp competitions.

And no competition is more important than today's canoe race.

But every summer we lose to the H.

I.

V.

E.

or the Titans East.

The good news is, this year we'll just have to worry about the H.

I.

V.

E.


- What happened to Titans East?
- Oh, nothing.

I just heard they may have fallen ill.

[laughs mischievously]

Oh, no.

They are the dead.

Nah! Robin had me send some of that good poop yogurt.

You know, the kind that gives you the poops.

You weren't supposed to tell anyone! How was I gonna keep poop yogurt secret?! How? It's yogurt that makes you poop! It's a poop
-making yogurt! [grunting]

How?
- [Bumblebee]

Hey, Titans.


- [Robin]

Bumblebee of Titans East? Why aren't you pooping with the rest of your team? Thankfully, I don't have a sweet tooth.

Anyway, since I'm flying solo, I thought I could join your team for the week.

What a wonderful idea! No.


- Why not?
- Because No.

Ow!
- Please.


- No.

Ow!
- I'm not stopping until you let me.


- [Robin]

I said no.

Ow! Ow, ow, ow! Stop it!
- You can't be a Teen Titan!
- Why not? Quite frankly, you don't have what it takes to be a Titan.

That's not true.

I'm a great superhero.

Look at my cool powers.

[whistles]

[bees buzzing]

Eh, that's all well and good, but are you a degenerate? Of course not.

Then how are you going to be a Teen Titan? We are a team of degenerates who do degenerate things! [burps]

[farts]

But I can help you win the canoe race.


- By cheating?
- By giving you another paddler.

That's what I thought.

Now, if you'll excuse us, we have a race to unethically win.

[people cheering]

[laughs]

Canoes! Hey, Titans! We'll be waiting for you at the finish line, losers.

[all laughing]

We's can'ts lose to them dirty H.

I.

V.

E.

s again! We won't.

Because I have come up with a perfect plan to ensure victory.


- So, we're gonna lose again?
- Ha
-ha, Raven.

Or should I say, "Har, har.

" We're going to be pirates.

Arr! Hey, watch where you swinging that thing! Dude, how is being a pirate gonna help us win a canoe race? Because pirates pillage [screams]

take what they want, and most importantly, they have pirate ships.

Behold, mateys! Ooh! Incredible.

Yes! Yes! Yes! [whooping]

Yes! Maybe we should just add Bumblebee to the team.

Oh, I do very much like the idea of the sixth Titan.

We do not need a sixth Titan.

What are we, some long
-running series trying to introduce a new character to keep things interesting?
- The yes.


- I mean, let's be real.

How many more times can I say "whatever"
- and still get a laugh?
- It wasn't funny to begin with! Whatever.

[laughs]

Perhaps adding the bee who bumbles could give us the new life.

Yeah.

Also, six be better than five, yo.


- That's just mad numbers, fool.


- We are perfect at five.

Think of our favorite team of '80s high
-school heroes.

The jock, the princess.

The basket case, the nerd.

Who is Bumblebee supposed to be, the principal? Wait.

Who are you supposed to be? I never got that straight.

The cool Judd Nelson character, of course.

Hold up.

If anybody is Judd Nelson, I'm Judd Nelson.

And whys I gots to be the nerd? I don't know nothing about no nerding.

[glass breaks]

I wants to be the jockey, yo, so I can hang with them horses.

[horse neighing]

I, too, demand the alternate casting.

Clearly, I would make the better basket case.

We're not switching roles! Except to be pirates.

Arr
-e ye buccaneers ready to win this race?
- Aye
-aye, Captain.


- Yo
-ho.

Yo
-ho and a ho.

Arr! Your sixth Titan reporting for duty, Captain.

You're not a pirate.

You are a bee.

Now, out of the way! The race be startin'.

[people cheering]

[ship horn blowing]

Ugh! Hey, no fair! Arr, mateys.

How be the view from above, coxswain? Right as rain, Captain.

And how be the sails, boatswain? They be hanging well, Captain.

And what be the status from the poop deck? Not a poop in sight, Captain.

And we are well on our way to victory, lads.

[Raven]

Ship approaching.

Starboard side.

[grunting]

[all]

Aww! That's pretty adorable.

[loud thud]

Come on, dude.

How can you not want her on the team? Look, I'm not willing to mess with the format of the Titans.

I like our chemistry the way it is.

[thudding]

[all grunt]


- We're under att*ck!
- No.

We are under the tree.

I forgot, we're in the woods.

[Gizmo]

Ha
-ha! Pirates in the forest.

How dumb! [all laughing]

We'll be feeding you to the fishies, H.

I.

V.

E.

! Yeah, right.

Later, lame
-oes.

[laughing]


- You guys need a hand?
- Pfft.

How are you going to help? [chainsaw whirring]

[blades screeching]

She is so positive.

Which is why she would never make a good Titan.

[whirring]

And Robin, look.

She has the heart of the sixth Titan.

For the last time, there can't be a sixth Titan!
- Why not?
- Because six be a curse.

What are you even talking about? There be no good teams with six members.

Three Amigos, four Ghostbusters, five Spice Girls, seven dwarves.

Eight planets, nine ladies dancing, ten fingers and ten toes.

The list goes on and on.

But nowhere on that list be a team of six.

Because there are none! Teams of six be unnatural! [all]

Whoa! [chainsaw whirring]

[Bumblebee grunts]


- [panting]

There you go.

I was able to
- Out of the way.

Now, let's show the H.

I.

V.

E.

we be the most degenerate pirates this forest wilderness has ever seen! [all cheering]

[ship horn blowing]

Yah
-har! Blow them to smithereens, me hearties! [all grunting]

[horn blows]

Board that canoe, ye scurvy dogs.

[all grunting]

Ye shall never again sail the seven seas, landlubber.

This isn't the sea.

We're in the forest.

On the plank with ye! Enjoy your swim in the briny deep! Yah
-har
-har! Really? [screams]

[water splashes]

[Teen Titans grunting]

Har
-har! Being a pirate is the best.

Now nothing can stop us from winning this race.

Ha
-har
-har
-har! [growling]

Bear! [all screaming]

[bear growling]

Uh, I keep forgetting we're in the woods.

[H.

I.

V.

E.

laughing and cheering]

[Bumblebee buzzing]

[whistles]

[bees buzzing]

[roaring]

[all laughing]

[Cyborg]

It be over.

Yah
-har.

Looks like we can't win, even as pirates.

Guys, you don't need to be pirates.

Winning this canoe race is about teamwork, and the Teen Titans are the best team here.

You are all so different, but you understand each other completely.

When you work together, nothing is impossible.

[all cheering]

We'll never catch them.

Them H.

I.

V.

E.

s is gonna wins again! Not this year.

Hey, H.

I.

V.

E.

, eat this! Ew, sticky.

Ugh, why'd you cover us with honey? [growling]

Not the bears! [Jinx screaming]

[Gizmo]

Not the waterfall! [all screaming]

[Teen Titans cheering]

Confetti! [all cheering]

Bumblebee, I didn't think you had it in you, but you really sent the H.

I.

V.

E.

over that waterfall.

We could not have done the winning without you.

You're not disappointed in my terrible actions? No way, mama.

You's a degenerate just likes us.

Maybe making you the sixth Titan won't be a desperate, chemistry
-ruining stunt after all.

Welcome to the team, Bumblebee.

What happened to there being no good teams of six? [gasps]

I just remembered one.

Friends! ["Friends" theme music]

[bears growling]

[all screaming]
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