06x34 - Toddler Titans... Yay!

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Teen Titans Go!". Aired: April 23, 2013 – present.*
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Animated series that follows the adventures of the young Titans: Beast Boy, Robin, Cyborg, Raven and Starfire.
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06x34 - Toddler Titans... Yay!

Post by bunniefuu »

[bird crowing]

[cat meowing, mouse squeaking]

[elephant trumpeting,
lion roaring]

♪ Go!

[opening theme playing]

♪ T-E-E-N

♪ T-I-T-A-N-S

♪ Teen Titans, let's go

♪ Teen Titans, go

- [babbling]
- [Robin] Lame.

- [grunts]
- [Robin] Lame.

- Dumb. Lame.
- [laughing on TV]

Wait. This looks good.

Oh, hello, Titans.

[all screaming]

Oh, whatchu watching?
Oh, wait. It's me.[laughs]


Ugh, Control Freak.

Change it, change it.

[laughs] I'm in control now.

If you're so in control, then
why is there pie on your face?

[all laughing]

Ugh, your humor's so juvenile.

You don't deserve
to be in this time slot.


It's reserved for
the suggestive dialogue


and moderate v*olence of
much cooler superhero teams.


Which is why I've decided
to age you down.


[all gasp]

Your rating is going
from TV Teen


- all the way down to TV Baby.
- [baby cries on TV]


The rating for preschool shows.

You can'ts make us no baby show.

Oh, yes, I can.

So long, Titans.

[laughs]

♪ T-O-D-D-L-E-R

♪ Toddler Titans, yay!

[children laughing]

[cheerful music playing]

[buzzing]

[exclaims]

[laughing]

Ahhh! What happened to my hair?

You? Look at me. I'm a bag.

And I am the kitten.

A delightful kitten
with the mittens.

And I'm Book.

Just don't judge me
by my warm friendly cover.

But where is the Beast Boy?

[barks] I is Beast Boy, Melmo,

as Greenie the clue dog.

[barks]

Bro, that's a different show.

Whatevs.
Yous gonna be thankings me

when I find some of them
good clues up in here.

Clue? Clue?

Clue-doo-doo-doo.

Get you stinky
clue-ditty-doos off of me.

Enough!

We need to figure out how
we're going to get out of here.

Alls wes got to do is find
the clue, clue, clue-doo-doo.

Here, cluey clues.

Where's you be?

Ah, a clue. A clue.

I found a clue.

We can use Book to help us
find a way out.

Right. Books have information.

And pictures too, if you lucky.

Book, how do we get back home?

Let's see.

Azarath Metrion... Info!

We lucked out,
it's got pictures.

Looks like we have to
go down the Rapid River,

through the Stanky Swamp,

and then b*at
the Ratings Monster.

River, swamp, Ratings Monster.

But be careful because
the Stanky Swamp

is home to Taker.

Uh-oh.

[laughs maniacally,
blows raspberry]

That's be one creepy beaver.

Whatever. This will be easy.

After all, it's just a dumb
preschool show.

Ow. Hey, what gives?

- [children] Sing the song!
- Whoa.


What was that?

[children] Sing the song!

Where them voices coming from?

[children laughing]

It sounds like toddlers.

Yes. It is the customary
in the preschool shows

for the characters to interact
with the kids at home.

Yeah, yeah, that's great.
Whatever.

But why can't we
move past this scene?

- [grunting]
- Do you not see?

We must work with the kids
in order to progress the plot.

[scoffs] That's kind of weird,
but okay.

They said we need to
"sing the song." What song?

Do you know how
to sing the song?

[children] Yeah.

The let us sing it together.

[song playing]

♪ De-de, do-do-do

♪ Here we go, go, go

♪ Let's learn and play
What a fun, fun day ♪


♪ De-de, do-do-do

Joy! We found the Rapid River.

[children] Yay!

River, swamp, Ratings Monster.

In case you needed a reminder.

Bag, do you have anything
we can use to build a raft?

Maybe I do. Let's see.

I've got a banana, some boots,

a spoon and some logs.

Easy peasy.

It's obviously the...

No, Robin, remember,

you must let the children
at home do the choosing

But it's right there.
If I could just...

[both grunting]

Will you help us choose which

object we need
to build the raft?

[children] Yeah.

Is it, the banana?

[children] No.

What about the boots?

[children] No!

Could it be the spoon?

[children] No!

[sighs] It's the logs,
you dum-dums.

Just hurry up
and pick up the logs.

What about the logs?

[children] Yeah, the logs!

Now, will you help us

build the raft
by counting the logs?

[children] Yeah.

Count with us.

[children] One,

two,

three, four,

- five, six...
- You've got to be kidding me.


- ...seven...
- [Starfire] Seven.


This is ridiculous.

- ...eight...
- [Starfire] Eight.


Argh, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.

There, it's done already.

[children crying]

Uh-oh. Now you're done it.

You've gone
and upset the children.

Without their help,
we won't be able

to complete the journey
and we'll be
stuck here forever.

No, it's okay. It's okay.
[chuckles]

I have an idea.

Let's sing the same dumb song
we just sang, over and over.

[children] Yay!

♪ De-de, do-do-do

♪ Here we go, go, go

[all] ♪ De-de, do-do-do

♪ Here we go, go, go

♪ Let's learn and play
What a fun, fun day ♪


♪ De-de, do-do-do

Brace yourselves.

Rapid River's getting rapidy.
[barking]

[groans softly]
I don't feel so well.

- [gags]
- Careful, Robin.

You can't show vomit
on a preschool show.

Uh-oh, uh-oh.

[children] Uh-oh.

Oh, that is nasty. [vomits]

I am going to be the sick.

[all vomiting]

[children] Ew!

We made it to the Stanky Swamp.

Remember, river, swamp,
Ratings Monster.

- River, swamp...
- We get it.

- [thuds]
- Oh, no.

The swamp is too the shallow
for the raft,

and too the stanky to do
the walking through. [sniffs]

[meows comically]

[children laughing]

How wes gonna get across?

- [children] The boots.
- That's right.


Uh, I got 'em in here somewhere.

[children] Banana.

Spoon.

- [children] Uh-oh.
- Uh-oh.


I can't find the boots.

[laughs maniacally,
blows raspberry]

[children] It's Taker.

[Cyborg] What? Where?

Where's that
weird looking beaver at?

That no good Taker
must've taken our boots.

It's obvious.

Children, you must help us
locate Taker.

- Is he under the rock?
- [children] No!

- He's right there.
- Is he in the bush?

- [children] No!
- [Robin grumbling]


[Cyborg] Is he in the grass?

- [children] No!
- Is he...


- He's obviously right there...
- [children] In the tree!

[laughs maniacally,
blows raspberry]

[all] Yay!

Yay. Whoo-hoo. So smart.

But how do we get our boots back

from that creepy sneaky beaver?

He's too high up in the tree.

We just have to get
the children to teach that
naughty beaver a lesson.

Repeat after me.

[Starfire reading]

[children reading]

[children] Taker,
don't be taking.


Taker, don't be taking.

- [crying]
- It's working.

Taker is experiencing shame.

Can you say, "shame"?

[children reading]

- Very good.
- [Taker crying]

- Scram! You creepy taker.
- [children gasp]

[children] Oh, no!

Robin, no.
You must not even partake

in the most moderate
of the v*olence.

Sure, fine, whatever.
We got the boots.

Let's just get across
this stupid swamp
and get out of here!

You forgot the travel song, bro.

[grunts] Right.

♪ De-de, do-do-do

♪ Here we go, go, go

[all] ♪ De-de, do-do-do

♪ Here we go, go, go

♪ Let's learn and play
What a fun, fun day ♪


♪ De-de, do-do-do

We did it! Now what?

Well, not to b*at
a dead horse, but...

River, swamp, Ratings Monster.

- River...
- River, swamp, Ratings Monster!

Yeah, yeah, we got it.
You've only said it
like times.

Yoo-hoo, I found a clue-hoo.

[roars]

How's we gonna b*at him?

[children] Use the stick!

Well, that didn't work.

- [roars]
- [children] Uh-oh.

Titans, the kids at home
have gotten us this far.

But now we need to do
some grown business.

Moderate v*olence.

The absolute no.

v*olence in any amount
is inappropriate

for the preschool show!

Star, a little v*olence is fine.

We'll just get the kids
to close their eyes.

Will you close your eyes for us?

[children] Okay.

Great. And remember, no peeking.

- [g*n cocks]
- [Robin] Titans, go!

[Robin grunting]

[crashing]

[all grunting and groaning]

[chainsaw whirring]

I told you, no peeking.

- [Beast Boy screams]
- [Robin grunts]

[Raven] Hey, you can open
your eyes now.

- [cheerful music plays]
- Thanks, kids.

We kicked
the Ratings Monster's booty.

Can you say, "booty"?

[children reading]

Robin, I am not sure

that is the appropriate
for the kids at...

[scoffs] Who cares?
We're heading home to our world

where we can be
as inappropriate
as we want to be.

[Robin grunts]

[laughing on TV]

[screams] You...
You made it out?

And now, we get to decide
what to do with you.

[child ] Hit him.
Kick him in the booty.


- [child ] Yeah, booty.
- [children laughing]


Sounds like the children
at home tagged along with us
to our world.

And they's being
kind of inappropriate.

Makes sense.
We did scar them for life.

Their innocence is totally gone.

Hey, I told 'em "No peeking."
You heard me.

Book heard me.
Everyone heard me.

Well, since they are
now the here,

maybe they can help us.

The children at home,

what shall we use
to punish the Control Freak?

We got rotten eggs,
the big smelly butt,
or spiders.

[children] Spiders!

The children want spiders,
spiders they will have.

- [screams]
- [children laughing]

Spiders!

Spiders. The children at home
really did age up.

I'm so proud.

Don't be proud dude,
we messed them children up
for life.

- [child ] Booty.
- [child ] Booty goes toot.


- Toot, toot, toot.
- [chuckles nervously]


[children laughing]

[children reading]

[children laughing]
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