07x34 - S&P

[bunniefuu]

[bird crowing]

[cat meowing, mouse squeaking]

[elephant trumpeting,
lion roaring]

♪ Go! ♪

[opening theme playing]

♪ T-E-E-N ♪

♪ T-I-T-A-N-S ♪

♪ Teen Titans, let's go ♪

♪ Teen Titans, go ♪

- [people screaming]
- [explosions]

[roaring]

[screaming]

You're going down, Mallah.

[roars]

Titans, show no mercy.

Wasn't planning on it, bruh.

[hissing]

- [roaring]
- Ha-ha!

[cheering]

[Beast Boy grunting]

[grunts]

[groans]

Hi-yah!

- [device beeps]
- [expl*si*n]

[battle cry]

[strained grunts]

[effort grunt]

You're finished, Mallah.

But we're just getting
the warmed up.

[battle cry]

[Starfire grunts]

- [grunts]
- [roaring]

[mimicking f*ring]

[all screaming]

[chainsaw whirring]

[horse whinnying]

[all grunting and yelling]

Excuse us.

We would appreciate
a moment of your time.

Who are you?

I am S,
protector of public morals

and champion of proper conduct.

And I'm P, regulator of rules

and defender of
delicate sensibilities.

And together we are...

Standards & Practices.

S&P for short.

Well, what do you want?

We're kind of
in the middle of something.

[crashes]

Your negative behavior is
giving superheroes everywhere

a bad name.

Superheroes are supposed to be
role models for kids,

but your actions
are downright traumatizing.

Fortunately, we're here
to help you clean up your act.

[yelling]

Hey! I was going to bash
his skull with that.

Sorry, but we don't want kids
imitating that behavior.

You'll need to find
an alternate way

to defeat your enemy.

I know. We can use these
to slice them to pieces.

I'm afraid that's too intense.

I could throw
the feral kitty at him.

[meowing loudly]

That will literally not fly.

Then I'll take him out
the good old-fashioned way.

One flint m*ssile
to the face, baby!

Actually, that could work.

But you can't sh**t so close.

If you could please just take
a few steps back.

A few more.

Keep going.

Almost there.

Perfect!

He totally missed.

This is ridiculous.

I'll just use my staff.

Great. One quick note, though.

Please refrain from
direct contact.

[frustrated grunt] Why do
we have to follow these rules?

We're just trying to help you
avoid backlash.

So your show
doesn't get cancelled.

Are you kidding?
Nobody would ever cancel us.

Well, backlash can cancel
anything any time.

Then how do we annihilate
our enemies

if we are not permitted
to be the violent?

You can still be violent,

just make it more cartoony.

What do you mean,
"more cartoony"?

Silly and over the top.

I'm not the creative one,
but let's just say you were

to hit him with a whale.

That doesn't make any sense.

But I like it!

One humpback coming at you!

- [Beast Boy grunts]
- [whale singing]

[Cyborg yells]

I'm comfortable with this.

This behavior is definitely
not imitable.

It should be fine
for international audiences.

[S&P together]
Approval granted.

[cheering]

This calls for the celebration.

[hip-hop music playing]

Actually, I'm not entirely comfortable
with this dancing.

What do you mean?
We're just shaking our booties.

Yes, but your booties
are a little too pronounced.

Oh, I know she didn't just
call my booty "pronounced."

Again, we're just trying
to avoid backlash.

[sighs] Fine.
We'll skip the dancing

and take Mallah to jail.

Ooh no, I'm afraid
that rope is too tight.

Argh! He got away.

But on the bright side,
you don't have to worry

about backlash.

Whatever. Let's just go home.

That's right. I got some
fresh pot of vegan chili

waiting for us
back in the kitchen, y'all.

[Titans munching noisily]

You really outdid yourself
with this chili, Beastie.

It really hits the spot.

Something's different about it.

Did use extra spice?

Extra spice and the extra beans.

[farts] The extra beans indeed.

[all laughing]

Ahem. Sorry to interrupt.

But we have a few concerns
regarding the bodily humor.

Oh, you mean this?

[toots loudly]

[laughter]

Or do you mean the this?

- [blazing]
- [glass cracking]

[loud laughter]

The emission of
personal gas is offensive,

particularly to parents.

[crying]

But it's natural, yo.

[singsong] Beans, beans
they're good for your heart.

The more you eat,
the more you... pfft!

Pfft.

The word you're about to say
cannot be aired.

We can however
accept toot if that helps.

Other acceptable options
include air biscuit,

backdraft, booty b*mb,
butt sneeze, hot wind,

putt putt, rump roar,

trouser trumpet, under thunder
or a heiny hiccup.

[weak fart]

Those all sound way worse
than any other word,

but whatever.
Toot toot, booty b*mb it is.

[stomach grumbling], [groans]

I... I don't feel so good.

What else was in that chili?

[dramatic music plays]

Oh, that's where my sock went.

I think I'm going to be sick.

The chunks
shall be blown momentarily.

Actually, we request that
you refrain from vomiting.

It's too gross and
would definitely result in...

Backlash.

[grunts] What do you
expect us to do?

Hold it in?

Or you could do it off screen.

[all vomiting]

This is impossible.

We can't live up
to your high standards.

And we can't be practicing
all your fancy practices.

But proper conduct
should be in your nature.

You are superheroes.

No, we are
degenerate superheroes.

It is what makes us appealing
to the younger demographics

of today.

You'd have to change everything
about us to follow your rules.

The way we look, the way we act,

even the way we sound.

Works for us.

[all screaming]

Suffering shock absorbers!

What did you do to us?

We transformed
you into the classic

Teen Titans of yesteryear.

You will now be limited
to only wholesome behavior.

A healthy lunch, anyone?

Gosh, golly, gosh, golly, gee.
We will need much energy

for the big fight today.

Against Darkseid?

No! Darkseid is too scary
for our audience.

We will fight the cavities.

Don't forget
those molars, Titans.

Dazzling dentistry!
Our teeth are so clean.

Speaking of clean,
let's go clean up the streets.

Of crime?

No, of litter.

This is just the right
intensity level for children

of all ages.

Don't cut yourself
on any broken bottles.

Remember, safety first.

[applause]

You guys are doing great.

Congratulations.

We have zero notes.

Our show is supposed
to be action and comedy,

but now all we can do is
stand around and talk.

I'm so tired of following
all these S&P's rules.

I say we break
every last one of 'em.

[all cheering]

Please refrain from punching
each other in the face

like that.

Oh no! Do not pee on that,

and please
do not poop on it, too.

[punching and shouting]

We'd really appreciate it if
you could put your clothes

back on.

We are concerned that your
actions are going to bring...

backlash!

[heavy metal music playing]

[gasps] That's him.

Oh, yeah!

The People's Voice...

is in the house!

Wait. Backlash
is an actual person?

Yes. And a very
unforgiving one.

Titans! You're rude, crude,
and about to be subdued!

You broke S&P's rules.

Now, on behalf of
uptight parents everywhere,

I'm going to have to break you.

Wait! At least give us a chance
to offer an insincere apology.

Forget it, Brother,

there's no escaping
The People's Outrage.

One, two, three!

- [screaming and crackling]
- [Backlash] Oh, yeah!

[gasps] Cyborg's been canceled.

We promise that next time

we will think before we speak.
Or to...

Too late, little sister.
You already earned

a Mega Ratings Drop.

[screaming and crackling]

You're a bad role model
because Backlash says so.

[screaming and crackling]

Please be gentle with me.

Oh, yeah!

[grunts, screaming, and groans]

[crackling]

Please, if you cancel me,
our show will be

off the air forever.

That's why it's called
the Finishing Move!

[slaps]

- [crackling]
- One, two... [screams]

S&P?

Show no mercy.

I wasn't planning on it.
[grunts]

[gasps]

[grunting]

[grunts]

[groans]

[battle-cry, grunts]

You're finished, Backlash,

But we're just getting started.

[screaming]

[Backlash groans loudly]

[meowing wildly]

- [meowing]
- [screaming]

Whoo!

Ha! Now, you's the one
who's canceled, fool.

[screaming and crackling]

[expl*si*n]

- [cheering]
- [Beast Boy] All right!

All right! All right!

Thanks for helping us out, S&P.

And thank you, Titans,
for showing us the value

of degenerate behavior.

Without your careless,
disgraceful tactics,

we never would have
come out on top.

And now that Backlash
has been defeated,

you're free to behave
like the disgusting animals

that you are.

Now, who's ready
for a chili dance party?

- [all screaming]
- [farting noises]

- [cheering]
- [farting loudly]

[rhythmic farting]

[cheering and whooping]