03x03 - Cocaine Pills and Pony Meat

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Atypical". Aired: August 11, 2017 – July 9, 2021.*
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Follows the life of 18-year-old Sam Gardner (Keir Gilchrist), who is on the autism spectrum.
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03x03 - Cocaine Pills and Pony Meat

Post by bunniefuu »

As any seasoned explorer will tell you,
timing is everything.

On Ernest Shackleton's Nimrod Expedition,

he was so worried
about his team falling behind

that he fed them cocaine pills every hour.

I don't take cocaine pills, but...

I do have an extra bowl of sugar cereal
in the morning

if I know it's gonna be a big day.

♪ And when you come back uptown
Remember not to look for me there... ♪

- Dude, get out of the way!
- Oh! Hey, bro, what's up?

Just so there's no confusion,
this class is not intended to be an easy A

or B or C.

It will be an easy D, though.

Now, look to your left.

Look to your right.

Look at the sweaty guy walking in late
on the first day.

Some of you are not gonna make it.

Let's all take guesses on who.

Sorry I'm late.

I had two and a half hours between
this class and my class before this,

which is too long to hang out on campus,

but not long enough to go home,

so I went to my scientific
illustration class to draw,

and I lost track of time and, you know,

running and lacrosse teams and...

- stairs.
- Mm-hmm. So you're late

because you had too much time
to get here.

Exactly.

[theme music playing]

Per the syllabus, this class will focus

- on the study of normative ethics, i.e...
- [laptop chimes]

Of course, by being late,
somebody missed my announcement

that I have a no laptop policy.

If the thought of writing with your hand
overwhelms you, go back to first grade.

[clears throat]
Normative ethics is the study

of how one ought to act, morally speaking.

Will we touch on metaethics? Yes.

Applied ethics? Inevitably.

Historically, there are multiple...

Oh, excellent.
I'm just tickled to hear from you again.

Thank you.

Can you please slow down

and can you repeat the definition
of normative ethics?

And slow down.

[laughs] Sure. In fact, you know,
why don't we all stop until you're ready?

Great.

Historically, there are multiple opinions

on how to accurately answer
a moral question

with virtue ethics
being more character-based,

whereas consequentialism
and deontological ethics

focus more on the role itself.

[Sam] College makes no sense.

My schedule changes every day.

There are no bells between classes,

and thanks to Archibald Denton's
poor planning,

the campus is not on a grid.

I don't know how people do it.

You wanna hear my schedule?

10:50, kiss my ass,

12:10, still in bed,

3:45, getting high,

and by 6:00, I'm scoring chicks.

Except on Tuesdays and Thursdays
when I'm in class all day,

because brother takes that sh*t seriously.

[sighs] I'm not used to being bad
at school.

Even taking notes is harder in college.

Look, these are the notes
that I took in my ethics class.

"The potato."

It was a story, something about a well...

A potato fell down a well... I don't know.

Ah, yes, the old potato in a well dilemma.

Look, if taking notes is a problem,
I am your guy.

I am bonkers good at it.

It's all about filtering out the garbage.

Observe.

Hey, hunky Bob.

How was your weekend? Take notes.

Gosh, it was sort of a blur.

On Saturday, Lorna went out
with the Tim and Freya.

Those are her work friends.

And I stayed home with Bobcat.
Bobcat's my cat.

We played outside.

He got into a bit of a tussle
with a squirrel,

and they knocked over
a neighbor's lavender plant.

So I brought him in
and then the two of us fell asleep,

watching old episodes of Shark t*nk.

I'll take 100% equity in that weekend.

We like to have fun.

Thanks for asking.

So what'd you get?

Nothing, I spent the whole time
wondering how to spell Lorna.

- What did you get?
- Simple.

Bob's cat has a dope-ass name,
and his wife is cheating on him.

What?

She was out
with her "work friends"? Please.

Freya was just there so Tim
and Mrs. Bob wouldn't feel as guilty.

How do you do that?

It's a gift I picked up
watching Indian soap operas growing up.

I used to think that people always burst
into song after doing the deed.

It's why I do it.

[Izzie groans]
I cannot wait to get out of here.

My mom had another headache this morning,

which meant I had to get
all three kids ready for school.

[Casey] Hmm.

This...

- This is baby barf.
- [Casey, Evan] Ew.

[laughs] Cheetos.

I just need to get done with school
and move far, far away.

Where would you go?

- New Orleans.
- Hmm.

Barcelona.

- What's the furthest place from here?
- [laughs]

Mars?

Oh, this is fun. Where would you go?
Name three places.

Um...

Dublin, 'cause Irish accents...

- Oh, yeah.
- ...San Francisco

- and Cape Town.
- [laughing]

Cape Town?

I think you mean Cape Cod.

Cape Cod.

No, the one in South Africa.

Oh. Oh, right, yeah, yeah,
I know that. That's...

Where would you go, three cities?

Three?

- Um, maybe Providence.
- What?

Yeah, Providence is nice.

Dude, that's like two hours from here.

Yeah.

So what? They've got
a good minor league baseball team.

Oh, my God.

Hey, Mrs. Gardner, quick,
three places you wanna live

and prepare to be judged harshly.

And Providence is taken.

Tokyo, Bruges, Sydney.

Oh, good ones.

Of course when I was your age,
I only wanted to live in New York.

- Why didn't you go?
- I did.

I lived there for five years
after college.

Wait a minute.
Mom... were you... could it be?

Were you cool?

Very.

I even wore fingerless gloves.

I wore them to five different
Fleetwood Mac concerts with your dad.

But you know,
I'd like to think I'm still pretty cool.

[glass clatters]

Honey, I don't know why we bother with
coasters if you're not gonna use them.

And she's back.

[Megan laughing]

Oh.

- Hi.
- [Doug clears throat]

Hi.

Megan came with some good news.

We got invited to a first responder
conference in New York

to talk about our trainings.

Wow-ee.

How about that?

Yeah.

I'm gonna head out. [laughs]

- Okay.
- [Elsa] Bye.

[door opens, closes]

I didn't know she was coming by.

It's fine. You don't need to explain.

Hey, congrats on the training stuff.

Thanks.

[grunts]

[whispers] Congratulations.

I got the birth announcement, so...

Thank you.

Hanzo's sleeping, but whatever this is,
I'm sure he'll love it.

Aw, it's clothes, he won't care.

How are you feeling?

Barely awake.

Anyway, I wanted to say I'm so sorry

for unloading on you like that
the last time I saw you.

You're going through your own stuff,

and you really did not need that.

Thank you.

[sighs]

- You wanna do it again. don't you?
- If you're offering, yeah.

Go ahead. It keeps my skills sharp.
[laughs]

Well, okay, so...

You told me to loosen my grip,

and it turns out when I nag less,

there's more time for talking
about the fun stuff,

like when I lived in New York
and wore fingerless gloves.

Very cool.

And then yesterday,

I found Megan and Doug
having a drink in the sunroom, a drink.

And this whole idea of taking a step back
just started to feel like marital su1c1de.

And yes, maybe the fact that
they're having a drink in my own house

means that the relationship is so platonic
that I have nothing to worry about,

or, you know, maybe she's just trying
to rub my face in it,

or maybe she's oblivious,
and Doug's trying to rub my face in it.

Something is happening in my face.

Face... what? Um...

Okay, I kind of dozed off
in the middle of that, but I get it.

I don't think you're taking a step back.

- I am.
- I don't believe you.

I wanted to infiltrate Doug's stupid
new peer group and I didn't.

That's a first step.
But, Elsa, this isn't just about Doug.

It's about letting the people
in your life have the space to come to you

and continuing to do that
even when it's hard.

It is hard.

[Hanzo crying]

I know. But you can do it.

Now... hi.

Hi, hi, hi.

Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Now hold this.

I am going to sleep.

Goodbye.

Aww.

I miss that smell.

- What's up, crazy?
- I figured it out.

I know how to get us out of here.

Clayton? I don't have a problem getting
out. It's staying in I have trouble with.

Shut up and listen.

Almost every year UCLA recruits a student
from Clayton on a track scholarship.

Two years ago, they took three kids.

- That's crazy.
- I know.

And their coach is, like, best friends
with Coach Crowley.

Crowley has friends?

Casey, we could go together,

the two of us, to California.

- Wow.
- I know, right?

And this scout was gonna be at regionals
in a couple of months.

Do you think that they'd take us?

If we train like crazy
and get our times down.

We're juniors, this is our chance
to impress them.

LA.

I don't know anything about it except
that it's very far away from Elsa.

And it sounds a little risqué, I know,

but yesterday, I officially joined
Bowdoin's Peeping Club.

Don't worry, it's just for students
who enjoy looking at fall foliage.

But guess what club members are called?

Peeps.

Isn't that so cute?

Can you repeat everything
after "but yesterday"?

Sam, you took my calendar!

Elsa, I needed to put
my stupid school schedule on it.

[gasps] You erased all of my appointments
and errands!

I don't think the world will end if a bake
sale doesn't get their lemon squares.

Do you just pop in to say snarky things?

When I get the timing right, yes.

What's going on?

Sam took my calendar.

I'm working on time management.

I'm also working on note taking.

Paige is a peeper.

Oh, you did get it. Hi, everyone.

- Hey, Paige.
- Hi, Paige.

Honey, time management is tricky
for everyone.

That's why I have this board
in the kitchen where it belongs.

I love when Sam's selfishness collides
with your selfishness.

If you would just have your appointment
with Disability Services,

this is something they can help you with.

No need. I can do it on my own.

There's no shame in getting services, Sam.

If he thinks he can do it, he can do it.

I think he can do it,
he thinks he can do it.

I think he can do it.

- We all think he can do it.
- I'm on the fence.

Just at least put your schedule
on your phone like a normal human.

Not like whatever this thing is.

Oh, good idea.

I can even set alarms. It will be
just like the bells in high school.

Whoo-hoo!

Great.

I am taking you home.

- You got that?
- Yep.

- It's a smiley face.
- [rock music playing]

- I think it's your best work yet.
- Thank you.

And I think so too.

- And now I'm gonna destroy it.
- Please.

[Casey] Mm!

Mmm!

- Good?
- Oh, yeah. It tastes like a smile.

So...

- guess what.
- Hmm.

I think I might wanna go to UCLA.

What?

Really? UCLA in... LA?

I know it's crazy, but Izzie said they
recruit kids from Clayton all the time,

and if we get our time down on our splits,
then maybe we could both go.

I don't know, ever since Izzie said it,
it's just felt right.

Wow.

And I was thinking that

maybe you could come, too.

[laughs] I don't know.

Then I'd miss the beautiful
Connecticut winters in the trailer park.

They have trailer parks in California.

- Oh, they do?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

And listen, I know it'll be hard,

but it's not for another two years...

and you're not really doing anything.

Well, I mean...

I am doing some stuff.

You know,
I just got this new job at Don's.

I'm doing art through my new medium.

Yeah, I didn't really mean...

No, I know. I just...

I just, I don't know what I wanna do.

[laughs] I'm just still kind of, like,
figuring stuff out.

Exactly.

You could figure it out in California
on a surfboard.

[laughs] Yes, but I can't swim.

- Bummer.
- Okay, no pressure.

- I'll give you time.
- Thank you.

- How about now?
- [scoffs]

Now?

Now?

[laughs]

Hey, there's my college student.

You heading out?

Nope, not time yet.

You know, my freshman year,

- I never had classes on Friday,
- [cell phone chimes]

- and the only...
- Goodbye.

Are you going... you're leaving?

Have a good day.

[door opens, closes]

[Sam] Even with all that cocaine,
it wasn't enough

to get Shackleton's men
through an expedition.

He also kept them on a strict schedule.

[phone chimes]

When it was time to collect ice specimens,
you collected ice specimens.

[phone chimes]

When it was time to k*ll a seal,

you k*lled a seal.

Poor seal.

[students clamoring]

- [man] What's the holdup?
- [phone dings]

- [woman] Dude, make a choice!
- [man] Just pick something.

[Sam]
And when it was time to go to sleep...

And can you believe that I'm the only one
that's memorized our school fight song?

[laughs] Sometimes I just wonder,
"What is wrong with these slackers?"

It's... ♪ Forward the white,
On through the fight ♪

- ♪ Emblem of honor, peerless and... ♪
- [phone chimes]

[Sam] ...you went to sleep.

Or at least you tried.

Hey, Sam.

What are you doing up?

Couldn't sleep.

I like your salmon.

It's a cod fish.

You can tell by the two a**l fins.

Right.

I forgot to check the a**l fins.

You know, you're always this way.

Whenever you had a big transition,
you'd have trouble sleeping.

I'm like this, too. It's why I'm up now.

You don't have any transitions.

Well...

for me, your transition is a transition.

So what did we do

when I was little and I couldn't sleep?

Well, sometimes we would sing
the alphabet song.

No.

Sometimes we'd go in the backyard
and dig for dinosaurs.

No.

Sometimes we'd watch a soothing video.

That last idea isn't terrible.

Thank you.

[woman on TV]
For six months, the sun never set,

but now, as Earth's closest star
slowly disappears

below the horizon,

the inhabitants of this frigid continent

seemed well aware
that it will be the last light

they'll see until spring.

[sighs] It's beautiful
as you always described it, Sam.

I think we'd make better time
on the dog sled.

You in the mood to mush?

[phone chimes]

Oh, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no, no, no!

Oh, no, no, no!

[thuds]

[Sam grunts]

- Honey, everything okay?
- No.

Thanks to you, I slept great!

[door slams]

[sighs]

[whistle blows]

- Hey.
- Hey.

Are you cool with meeting
a half hour early to train?

We can do extra conditioning
and practice passes.

We gotta step up our game.

Yeah, sure. Maybe.

You're already changing your mind
about LA, aren't you?

No. Um...

I ran the idea by Evan.
I told him he should come with us.

And he's not into it?

I'm not surprised.

I mean, if we were going to college
in Providence...

What does he want to stay here for anyway?

What does Evan, like, do?

I mean, he works at Don's,
and he's just figuring it out.

Which is code for doing nothing.

I hate you.

I know.

Come on.

[Sam] Despite Shackleton's best efforts,

by the time he and his men made it back
to the Nimrod,

they were over 30 days behind schedule.

- Some had snow blindness.
- [phone beeps]

Most had dysentery
from eating bad pony meat.

[phone chiming]

You can do all the right things
and sometimes you still fall prey

- to the brutal atmospheric conditions.
- [grunts]

[phone continues chiming]

You're sure you're okay?

That might be the most athletic thing
I've ever done.

I'm sorry about plowing into you.

I get into the zone, and it's hard
to see anything else around me.

I get it.

I close my eyes when I drive.

That's why I don't drive.

I think you'll be fine.
Just don't fall asleep.

You may have a concussion
and then you'll die.

I may never sleep again.

[knock on door]

- Hi.
- Elsa.

Hey.

You left your jacket at my house
on the couch in the sunroom.

It's so pretty.

Oh, yeah. Thanks.

Was there something else you wanted
to talk about?

Um... well...

Uh, how's Amber liking college?

Honestly, she hates it.

Oh, no.

It's been a real hard adjustment.

She's having panic att*cks
for the first time ever.

And I wish there was more
I could do for her, but...

We're barred by law
from being good mothers.

[laughs] Exactly.

[clears throat]

You sure there was nothing else?

No.

Just the jacket.

The jacket.

It's so pretty.

[sighs]

You feeling better?

Guys on the team
said you took the hit like a champ.

And if you feel like talking,
I'm always here, Sam.

Okay.

When I first heard the four
out of five statistic from Amber,

I was scared, but...

I thought I could do it.

But now I'm starting to think

maybe the reason that...

so many kids with autism don't graduate...

is because...

college isn't meant for them.

Well, I don't think that's true.

It is true.

It's a fact, it's a statistic.

Yeah, well, I just don't think
it's true for you.

In fact, I'm almost positive it isn't.

Sam, you are...

resilient.

You're like a...

I don't know, what's resilient?

A cockroach?

I was trying to think of something
less gross, but sure.

I don't know if you should
get services or not.

That's gonna be your decision.

But if you wanna keep going
on your own,

why don't you think about
dropping a class or something?

I dropped a class my first semester.

Yeah.

I could drop a class.

I need to do something.

You know,
cockroaches are actually very impressive.

They can live for a week
without their heads.

Really?

Yeah.

That's cool.

- Okay, keep your eyes closed.
- They're closed.

- Oh.
- Okay.

Feels like a puppy.

- Is it a puppy?
- Better.

A book.

You know,
a book is not better than a puppy.

- Nothing's better than a puppy.
- No, no, no.

Except for maybe a baby panda.
That's better than a puppy.

Okay, but this is a really famous book.

It helps people know what to do
with their lives.

[laughs] Oh.

- Cool.
- I know you're trying to figure it out.

I feel like there might be things that
you maybe haven't thought about, like...

Like you're really good with Sam.

Maybe you can go into psychology
or social work.

Why are you pushing this on me?

I just don't want you
to be figuring it out forever.

Why are you saying
"figuring it out" like that?

I just...

Look, this could be really fun, like...

if you do the social work thing,
we'd be in college at the same time.

But I'm not a college guy.

I wasn't even a high school guy.

You could be.
You could be anything you wanna be.

[sighs]

- Oh, come on, I didn't...
- You know, maybe this is what I am.

I'm sorry if that's not good enough
for you.

No.

It's just...

Thank you for the book.

Seriously? Evan.

[Sam] The truth is that no expedition
goes exactly as scheduled.

I'd like to apply for services, please.

I'm Sam, I have ASD.

I'm Rudolph. I have MS.

All righty, let's see here.

Very organized.

Good on ya.

[Sam] Sometimes you get lost.

Sometimes you eat bad pony meat.

It's great to meet you, Sam.

This is Sidney,
one of our student volunteers.

- She's gonna show you around.
- You can call me Sid.

Okay.

Great, off to a good start. Have fun.

Okay, so couch, bean bags

and study desk.

This is basically it.

Okay.

You're cute.

Thank you.

Sam, I was wondering
when you were gonna show up.

Hey, Jasper.

Hey. Hey, Sid.

I'm showing him around.

If you wanna show Sam around,
then become a student volunteer.

- I'm gonna help you. We're friends.
- Oh.

So what services
are you gonna sign up for?

I don't know. There's a lot.

Oh, and some that aren't even on the list,

like if you show your student ID
at Burger King and cry,

they'll give you free fries.

So you guys just come here
whenever you need help?

Yeah, that's what it's here for.

And even if you don't use the services,
you can still use the bean bags.

[acoustic ballad playing]

♪ I took my love and I took it down... ♪

[Sam] Even the coolest explorers
in history had problems.

♪ Climbed a mountain
And I turned around... ♪

[Sam] Confronted by obstacles
they never saw coming.

♪ And I saw my reflection in a... ♪

[Casey] Hey.

Oh. Hey.

Pizza peace offering?

[Sam]
Forced to eat all kinds of weird stuff.

♪ What is love? ♪

We didn't have sauce so I used salsa,
and the cheese is Brie.

And the box is Nike.

You made it look so easy.

♪ Can I sail
Through the changing ocean tides? ♪

You wanna sit down?

- ♪ Can I handle the seasons... ♪
- Yeah.

♪ Of my life... ♪ [vocalizing]

I'm sorry.

I was...

I was being Elsa.

Yeah.

What was that about?

I don't know.

Izzie and I got really excited about UCLA.

And I just...

I love you so much.

And I think that you could do
anything you want with your life.

But I got a little pushy.

I think as hard as I tried to fight it,
Elsa has infiltrated my brain.

Oh, no.

[laughs]

So it's cool if I don't want...

some fancy job in some fancy town?

Yes.

- Really?
- Yeah.

[Sam] And yet they put aside their fear
of the unknown.

And I'm still excited about California,
but that's not for two years.

Yeah. Yeah, we...

You know, we have plenty of time
to decide what we wanna do.

Totally.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- There's plenty of time.
- Yeah.

Okay, let's try this out.

Oh, that's...

- That's spicy salsa.
- [laughs]

Yeah, we probably shouldn't eat this.

[Sam] Whether that meant
their ultimate failure...

or hopefully eventual success.

Well, look who made it on time.

Feel free to talk as fast as you want.

I have an anonymous note taker now,
but I'm pretty sure it's Excited Evelyn.

All the exclamation points
were a giveaway.

I don't know what he's talking about.

And it's just Evelyn.

I prefer Excited Evelyn.

I'd prefer you to stop talking.

All right, subjectivism.
Fasten your seat belts.

[rock music playing]

♪ I'm living my life right now ♪
[vocalizes]

♪ You're living your life right now ♪

[vocalizes]

♪ I think we have the same kind view ♪

♪ SleepIin' all day
And waking at midnight ♪

♪ They're giving us flak
But we hold our heads up high ♪

♪ We don't slow down
Put the pedal to the floor and fly ♪

♪ I'm living your life right now ♪

[vocalizes]

♪ I'm living my life right now ♪

[vocalizes]

♪ You're living your life ♪

♪ I'm living my life ♪

♪ You're living your life ♪
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