03x02 - Honeymoon's Over

[bunniefuu]

- You sure you'll not have breakfast, James?

- Yes

- Just going to pop back later?

- Yes.

- Yes?

- Absolutely.

- Right.

- All right.

- I'll see you then.

- Cheerio!

Time to get home,

time to get home ♪

[HE WHISTLES]

Time to get home,

time to get home ♪

Time to get home right away ♪

[HE WHISTLES]

Do you think we'll make it, Jess?

I think we just might.

Not this morning, Jess.

Stay. Stay.

Oh. You're up.

That was good timing.

How's Mr Harper's sow?

Grumpy and uncooperative.

Much like her owner.

Ooh, they're cold!

Sorry.

Don't be.

Ooh, the eggs.

You get the plates.

Sit down and eat.

No, you.

You've been out half the night,

I'm fine on the bed.

No.

How's little Ben?

He's perfect.

Mm.

Lovely.

Texture.

No. Don't.

I haven't done anything.

If you have to resort to v*olence,

that means you've already lost!

Are you expecting guests

for breakfast?

Still can't get used to the idea

of them being up there.

Managing with just that

tiny stove to cook on.

They're probably enjoying themselves

more than you think.

Any jam, Mrs. H?

Don't worry, I'll get it.

Here. For services rendered.

- Thanks, Siegfried.

- Morning!

- Good morning.

- Morning.

Morning.

Still plenty left.

- I know. We've just

- 've had breakfast.

Mr. Farnon.

Does this mean you might be

buying a round tonight, Triss?

I resent the implication that I'm

anything other than generous on our

occasional sojourns to the pub.

To the local nurses, maybe.

Unfortunately for the women of

Darrowby, my affections and

my wallet shall not be given

as glibly as before.

Holding out for Mrs Right?

There's certainly been plenty

of Mrs. Wrongs.

Actually, I'm saving up

for something.

Wonders will never cease.

Here.

Promise me you're not

too draughty up there?

We're grand, thanks.

Siegfried, I think

you might've made a mistake.

That seems incredibly unlikely.

No.

40 percent of profits,

less bills, capital costs, etc.

Look.

But that's less than I was

earning before.

It's less than what

Tristan gets now.

Ups and downs of running

a business, I'm afraid.

Siegfried, since I'm a partner now,

shouldn't we talk about

how it's going to work?

Maybe there's more

that I could be doing.

Oh, don't need to worry your head

over that rigmarole.

It's terribly dull, I assure you.

I'd like to know more.

Are you going up to see

Kate Billings today?

- Aye.

- Marvellous, give her my regards.

Hello, Mrs. Billings

That's the other one. I'm Miss.

Sorry.

I was expecting Mr. Farnon.

Who might you be?

I'm Mr. Herriot.

I knew a Herriot once.

Oh, right.

Mean little bugger.

Follow me.

Was Mr. Farnon busy?

Yes, but he sends his regards.

Does he?

You know, you really must stop

bringing me these delicious cakes,

Mrs. Barber.

Terrible for my waistline.

Oh, you're more than welcome.

Isn't he, Oscar?

Was that Mrs. Barber I saw leaving?

Yes.

Not in the examination room.

Hand it over.

Here you go.

Thank you.

Love feeds on many

kinds of food, I know ♪

Some love for rank

and some for beauty ♪

Perks of being in charge?

Mrs. Hall, you have a tone.

Oh?

A sort of tone that tells me

I'm to be informed of my failings

in the not-too-distant future.

It's not my place

to tell you anything.

Jolly good.

But I might suggest

Here we go.

..you shouldn't make promises

you can't keep.

You made James a partner.

You need to start

treating him like one.

I've spent years refining

this business,

till it runs like clockwork.

What if he starts rearranging it?

Well, you can't expect to carry on

as though nothing's changed.

You know how keen he is.

Let him take a look under the bonnet

and see how it all works.

Mrs. Hall, you are, as ever,

absolutely and completely correct.

I shall endeavour to make amends

just as soon as ever I can.

Right.

Well

good, then.

Hello, little ladies.

[CALF CALLS]

Hello. Hello.

What seems to be

the trouble with you, then?

Been a bit gip last day or two.

Diarrhea and sickness,

I were worried.

They're absolute beauties.

You don't need to tell me that.

No, no, of course.

I was just

Temperature's normal.

The breeding is

so important, isn't it?

Finding parents

with different qualities

that complement one another.

Lungs are clear.

I see you won "Best In Show".

You know my sister, Annie, then?

I've not had the pleasure. No.

Be glad of it too.

Easy, easy.

That's sore, isn't it?

Easy! Sorry!

They're clearly suffering

from acute abdominal pain.

What have you been feeding them?

Milk and a few nuts.

Best there is.

There's nowt here

that could hurt them.

I keep it as well as can be.

I can see that.

I'll give them some morphine

for the pain.

And some charcoal solution,

and that'll hopefully help pass

any toxins through.

Hmm.

Right.

Just the stuff.

Here we are. All right?

Keep an eye on them,

let me know if there's any changes.

Aye.

Otherwise, I'll be back to check

on them tomorrow.

Aye.

Right, I'll be off, then.

Aye.

Coming through.

What've you done to the dining room?

I was under the impression

that I owned this establishment.

What? You told me to show him

everything.

Hello?

Ah, James, mi compadre.

Allow me to introduce you to

the inner workings of the practice.

Oh, goodness!

Right.

I'll leave you to get

better acquainted.

But while you're at it, if you could

detail the profit and loss accounts

of the last 12 months and make

a list of any unpaid invoices,

that would be most helpful.

- You're off?

- You're going?

I'm out with Diana this evening,

we're practising our foxtrot.

I'm sure it'll all make sense

once I get going.

I'll put the kettle on.

Stick a fork in me, I am done.

What do you say, Jim, fancy a pint?

Blimey.

What happened in here?

Do you know what

a profit and loss account is?

Ooh, above my pay level, I'm afraid.

You get paid more than me.

Right.

Right.

I'll just make a start.

Morning, Matt.

Morning, William.

- Lovely day.

- Hello, Ernie.

Morning.

Morning, William.

Morning.

Good morning.

How did you get on with

the accounts last night?

Everything in order?

Aye, fantastic.

Thanks again for letting me

have a look.

Oh, not at all, you're

a partner in the firm.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

So, did you get it all written up?

I have to admit,

I am struggling a bit.

Ahh.

Well, best leave it

with me, then, eh?

I mean, we can't all be polymaths

blessed with the practical skills

and acute mental ability required

to understand the

complexities of business.

And you have so many other qualities

with the animals, with the clients.

And there's no harm in sticking

to what you're good at.

Plough your own furrow, I say.

I actually thought Helen might be

able to help me understand

how it all works.

Helen?

I used to run the farm's accounts,

it's no bother going

through it with James.

Well, isn't that a kind offer?

Um, yes.

Well, yes.

That's very generous, Helen.

Thank you.

I lost that calf of mine this morning.

I'm sorry to hear that,

Miss Billings.

And another one's started

to go the same way.

The symptoms look

the same as before.

The temperature's normal.

I'm sure it's acute gastritis

but I wish I knew the cause.

I could swear these calves have

eaten some sort of irritant.

I haven't let them out of this shed.

I'll do a postmortem on

the other calf that you lost

to see if we can find anything,

and I'll get the kidneys over

to the lab in Harrogate

to test for lead estimation.

There's no lead in here.

There must be something

we've missed.

These calves,

they're like family to me.

Does anyone else work here?

Could anyone help shed

some light on it?

Just me, since Annie left.

Could she help us?

She got married.

She lives just over the hill

but hasn't set foot on this farm

for nigh on a year now.

And I told her if she's gone,

she's gone.

What about Mr. Farnon?

What about him?

He's always been my vet.

He knows this farm.

Mr. Farnon would tell you

the same as me.

Well, at least tell me if

I'm gonna lose any more of them.

Honestly, I don't know

the answer to that.

Let me run the tests.

We will get to the bottom of it.

What's gonna happen, eh?

What's gonna happen?

Hmm?

I'll look after you, love.

Anything I can help with?

No, thank you.

Good.

[HELEN WRITING]

You know, you really don't have to,

I could always sit down with James.

I'm happy to do it, Siegfried.

Wonderful.

[PHONE RINGS]

Phone's ringing.

If only there were

some clever way of me knowing.

Darrowby two-two-nine-seven.

Florence, you say?

Right, and what's your address?

Ah, yes,

difficult first couple

of months this year.

Of course, we suffered when you

and James went gallivanting off

on your honeymoon.

How do you manage your petty cash?

Oh, we just put in the pint pot.

It's not so different to how we'd

runs things up at Heston Grange.

We used an old cigar box.

A lady named Florence.

Number three, Hillside Lane.

Her dog's had a turn.

Tristan?

Tristan!

Call-out.

Me?

But what about surgery

If there's a sudden rush,

I'm sure I'll cope.

I'd best take the Rover, then.

Need anything else?

No, thank you.

Siegfried, I was wondering if

you could help me with this

That's a five.

And this?

Also a five.

I've found some

uncashed cheques as well

You know, Helen,

although to the untrained eye

it may look a little haphazard,

I have to tell you that this system

has never let me down yet.

Maybe this wasn't a good idea

Perhaps not.

You've got the gist, in any case.

Tristan Farnon.

Oh, God.

Florence Pandhi.

What're you doing here?

You called and asked for me to come.

I called for a vet.

You do know that your dad is a vet?

He does farm visits on Tuesday.

It was an emergency.

[DOG BARKS]

Looks like it too.

Though being George Pandhi's

daughter, I shouldn't be surprised

that you think this perfectly

healthy dog is on death's door.

Are you going to examine her, or

do I have to get your dad around here?

He's not my dad,

as you well know.

Come on then,

let's have a look at you.

What's her name?

Daisy.

Hello, Daisy.

Daisy, hello.

She was absolutely fine,

running around on the drive when

she just suddenly seized up

and sort of toppled over

onto her side,

gasping and drooling.

That doesn't sound very pleasant.

How old is she?

She's too old for it to be epilepsy,

if that's what you're thinking.

Still your dad's assistant then,

by the sounds of it?

Actually, I work at the bank now.

I took a room here

a couple of months ago.

Pandhi can't have liked that.

No, but it's not his life, is it?

Look, I really can't find

anything wrong with her.

Maybe she got a bone or something

else she's eaten caught

and now it's been dislodged.

It doesn't seem to be

troubling her any more.

Is that it?

Your bill will be in the post.

Lost.

Evening.

Triss.

The state of this place.

What do you call

a penguin in the desert?

How can you find anything in here?

Organised chaos, old chap.

And it's lost.

The penguin's lost.

You really should keep these

sterilised and ready for use.

Yes, yes. All right, Siegfried.

You know, technically,

I am your boss now.

Hmm, technically.

I suppose you'll have to learn

the hard way.

Is that it?

Is that what?

You'll never successfully manage

a practice by being soft on him.

I am actually here, you know.

We were just talking, Siegfried,

a piece of friendly advice.

We don't always have

to bawl and shout, you know?

What was that all about?

You know that thing you do

when you're with a girl

who you thought you liked,

but then you realise

you don't like her as much

as you thought you did,

but you like her too much

to tell her that to her face?

I have no idea what

you're talking about.

The long goodbye?

The slow death?

When you just sort of

start being a bit off until

she gets the hint

and stops calling.

You are a terrible human being.

Look, I hate to break it to you

but Siegfried has never wanted

a partner. I mean, ever.

He likes being in control

too much for that.

He really said that?

Mmm.

Frequently.

Is something on fire?

Just dinner.

Ah. All right.

Dare I ask how it went

with Siegfried?

As good as that?

Once I got me head around

the way things worked,

I started to understand it

and I found a few uncashed cheques.

£4 for the TB testing

we did the other day?

That's more than

we earn in a week.

What time is it?

Maybe I can still catch them.

Who?

The Ministry of Agriculture.

Siegfried did say

I should plough my own furrow.

TB testing's really not popular

with farmers,

it can mean closing down farms,

or k*lling livestock.

Maybe you should speak

to Siegfried first.

If I can show him

it'll bring in more money,

maybe it'll change his mind.

Change his mind on what?

Triss just said Siegfried

has never wanted a partner.

I'm starting to wonder

if he might be right.

[SPINS THE ROTARY PHONE]

Hello. Can you put me through to the

department of TB testing, please?

- Good morning, Alice.

- Good morning, gentlemen.

Hello, Alice.

Yes. Yes.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Door!

Yes, I'm so sorry

to hear that, Kate.

- Morning, Audrey.

- Morning, Alice.

Thank you.

Have a good day now.

I was under the impression

that Herriot was dealing with this.

Yes, of course I will.

Yes, yes,

I'll be up there right away.

Morning.

Morning, James.

Busy day ahead?

I'm going to the lab to see if I can

hurry along some test results.

Excellent, good!

Thanks again for letting Helen take

a look at the books.

Quite all right.

She mentioned there was

a cheque for the TB testing

Yes, I'll be dropping that into

the bank first thing this morning.

11 letters. Ups and downs?

Second letter I.

Eighth letter T.

Anyone?

Helen, do you know?

Since it brings in so much money,

don't you think we could

be doing more of it?

More trouble than

it's worth, frankly.

It would mean risking our

relationship with the farmers

and we've enough on with the animal

surgery. What's this doing here?

- Oh, sorry, I'll move it now.

- No, no, trouble at all.

Everything all right?

Yes, Mrs Hall.

Rubbing along famously.

- Bye.

- Bye.

Morning. Shall we?

Jess.

[JESS BARKS]

Hello, Kate.

That's two I've lost now.

I'm so sorry.

Let's take a look.

Temperature's normal.

Yup. There's definite

evidence of gastritis.

That's what Mr Herriot said.

My best guess is they've

ingested some sort of irritant

but I can't see anything

in here it could be.

He said that and all.

I'll do a postmortem on the calf

and order a lead estimation test.

He's done that too, hasn't he?

Aye. He has.

Well, it sounds like James has done

everything he should.

I'm none the wiser.

Sorry, Kate.

So, there's nothing

you can do for them?

Not until we know what's wrong.

I can only hope James,

my partner,

has news from the lab that throws

some light on the problem.

There you go, Charlie.

Now, make sure you keep

brushing him regularly,

otherwise, the fur

will get matted again.

Thank you, Tristan.

Come on, Richard.

Let's get you home.

[LAUGHTER]

That can't be true,

you're teasing me now!

You two look very cosy.

The dogs.

You must be thirsting for a brew.

Won't be a moment.

And how are you today, Rock?

Oh, he's grand.

He looks it.

He's always excited for

his walks with Jess.

I'm sure he is.

You know, we care

a great deal about

..Jess.

She's a part of the family

and we'd hate for her to get hurt.

Well, I can assure you

..Rock cares a great deal

about Jess too

and we would never do

anything of the sort.

Good.

That's good then, isn't it?

Hello? Help!

Somebody help me, please!

She started having fits

about half an hour ago.

I didn't know what to do, so, I just

brought her straight here.

OK, bring her through.

My father's out.

The state of this place!

We've had a busy day,

put her on the table.

I'm not letting you work on my dog

in this pigsty.

Your dog looks very ill, she could die.

You need to let me examine her.

[DAISY MAKING CHOKING NOISES]

Is this what happened before?

Exactly.

It's not a fit, she's choking.

Something's interfering

with her air flow.

I need you to assist,

pass me the torch.

Would you mind holding her jaws

apart so I can see the windpipe?

It's a pebble.

It's only about the size of a pea

but it's right inside her larynx.

It's acting like a ball valve,

blocking her windpipe

every now and then.

I'll have to get it out.

Oh, God no!

How on earth do you work

with it like this?

The conjunctiva is blue,

she's asphyxiating.

Anaesthetise the throat area.

Florence, you need to trust me.

You're right. I'm sorry.

Right, hold her still while

I make the incision.

Deep breath.

I'm through.

I can feel it.

OK, I just need to

I've got it.

Good girl, that's it.

That's it, good girl.

OK, that's it, that's it,

wait there, wait there.

Right, that's all done.

You'll just need to remove

the stitches in

Ten days' time.

I can do that.

Florence Pandhi?

What are you doing here?

Oh, God, please tell me

your father's not here as well?

No, but I'll be sure to tell him

what an excellent job Tristan did.

Oh, right, good.

We'll be off, then.

Come on, Daisy.

Yes, right. Um

..thanks for that.

Thank you.

Vicissitude.

Your crossword.

The answer is vicissitude.

[DAISY BARKS]

Vicissitude, of course.

Hello, Kate.

I'm stopping by to let you know

about those test results.

They're all I've got left,

these calves.

I don't know what I'll do if

It must get lonely,

out here on your own.

I'm perfectly well as I am.

We all need support

from time to time.

If you're talking about our Annie,

she ain't got time for us no more.

I'm sure if she knew

that the calves were ill,

that they were struggling,

she might surprise you.

What was it about

these test results?

The test came back

negative for lead.

I'm so sorry.

I wish I could tell you more,

but I'm still none the wiser.

That's exactly what

Mr. Farnon said.

Evening.

Helen.

This came for James.

Oh, thank you.

Join us.

What are you having?

Er, whisky and water, thanks.

What's that?

It's for James.

From the MAG? Siegfried?

Herriot Veterinary Practice, indeed!

Herriot, I distinctly recall

telling you we wanted nothing to do

with the TB testing programme.

Now I discover

you've signed us up to it.

I'm sure it's just some

simple misunderstanding.

I just called to see if we could do

more testing and possibly

make more money.

You don't appreciate how divisive

the matter is for farmers.

We could persuade them.

This is still my practice.

It is, but since

you made me partner,

does it not make it mine too?

James, maybe now's not the time

Ah. You went behind my back.

Which is something

you'd know all about.

I saw Kate Billings today.

She's been a client of mine

for five years

and she specifically asked for me.

- It was my case!

- It's my practice!

It's our practice!

You see, this is exactly why

I didn't want a bloody partner

in the first place!

Ow!

Damn it!

James?

They want their heads

knocking together.

Let me make you that whisky.

Good idea.

Stove's out.

So, we'll have to have

breakfast downstairs.

No. Not with Siegfried.

Then you'll go hungry.

Now, shift.

I take it you got the lead

estimation result on Billings' calf.

It was negative.

It must be something else.

You'll be going back up there

this morning, then?

Yes.

You should both go.

That sounds like a good idea.

Two heads are better than one.

- I don't think so.

- I don't know about that.

I'm sure Kate Billings would

appreciate all the help she can get.

I'm sure she would.

I'll get my things together.

Yes, so will I.

- After you.

- After you.

We suspect gastritis but

we don't know what's causing it.

I've been over

every corner of this shed,

I can't see anything

they could get to.

Something these animals have

ingested is poisoning them.

All right, we've ruled out lead.

Yes.

And it's not their feed.

No.

Could it be something

outside of the shed,

that's been trodden through

and brought inside?

Worth a try.

Do you mind if I have

a look around, Miss Billings?

I'll come with you.

You stay there.

Thank you for your

kindness yesterday.

Oh, right.

It's no bother at all.

Did you think about what I said?

Did you see owt?

Oh, no.

No, nothing that could be harmful.

Hey, hey.

James? Come and look at this.

It's a dead horn bud.

I just found it in the milk.

Aye, I disbudded their horns

fortnight since.

Can you show me what you used?

The fella came round selling it.

Annie used to deal with all

the business side of things.

I can't read, you see.

But the fella told me

it had just come on the market.

You just paint it on.

It's a lot easier than

the caustic stick.

Butter of antimony.

James, now we know.

What do you mean?

Antimony is a deadly poison.

Oh, it'll burn your horn buds off

all right,

but if it gets in among the food,

that's it.

You see, when the calves put

their heads down to drink,

that's when the buds would fall off

and contaminate the milk.

Exactly.

Anyway, let's get this last bud off

and scrubbed up.

These two should be fine.

I poisoned them.

I could have k*lled them all.

You weren't to know.

If Annie were here,

she'd have known.

I'm a stubborn fool, Mr. Herriot.

Didn't you say she just lives

only over that hill?

It's never too late to make amends.

Well done in there, Siegfried.

You too.

"For if they fall,

"the one shall lift up the other."

Peregrine.

I think.

Ah, Jim, good day?

Triss, are you

You're cleaning?

I am.

What happened?

Emergency operation yesterday.

I didn't have clean equipment.

I nearly lost a dog.

Pandhi's daughter's dog,

to be precise.

Pandhi?

But you saved it?

Yes, yes, I suppose I did.

Then you did well.

And I want to hear all about that

over a pint later.

Thanks, boss.

Dinner's ready.

Now, then, tell me

all about this TB testing.

The district's really fallen behind,

so the MAG says there's

as much as we want.

It could be incredibly lucrative.

Then, as a partner,

you should be free to make

those sorts of decisions.

You're going to be

solely responsible though.

You won't even know

it's happening.

I think we're done with cooking

upstairs, aren't we?

Oh, thank God.

I mean, yes,

I think we are.

Now, let's eat.

This looks nice.

Ladies first.

Thank you.

What do we have here, Mrs H?

- Oh, put it back on.

- Back on, put it back on.

No, that's good for you, that is.

That's enough, thank you.

Cheers. Cheers.