01x18 - A Bug's Life

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Farscape". Aired: 19 March 1999 –; 21 March 2003.*
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American astronaut John Crichton finds himself thrown across the universe when an experimental mission goes bad.
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01x18 - A Bug's Life

Post by bunniefuu »

I cannot believe this is
happening to me again.

But this time, dear D'Argo,
it is by your own choice.

Barely.

The approaching Marauder's
ident signal

says it's definitely not from
Crais's Command Carrier.

There are other ways to deal
with the Peacekeepers.

Let's try Crichton's way.

Crichton's way.

If we are going to attempt this,
Rygel, it means no Thronesled.

We are ready now, Pilot.

Understood.

Identify yourself.

Regiment, assignment?

Identify yourself.

Lieutenant Aeryn Sun.

Ustar Regiment, special
duty assignment.

And you?

Larraq. Captain.

And my assignment's
none of your business.

Having some trouble with
your Marauder, Captain?

Cesium fuel leak.

We're lucky we found you.

You think?

Awful big ship for
one little girl.

Oh, I can handle big.

Ease your w*apon, Lieutenant.

That is an order.

Smart move... Captain.

What are you doing aboard
my vessel, Captain?

Emergency situation.

My team and I are on a
priority red-one mission.

We need your boat here
to complete it.

Therefore, under article
4-1-4 Decca,

I hereby assume command over
it, your crew...

and you.

My name is John Crichton,
an astronaut...

...a radiation wave hit and I
got sh*t through a wormhole...

Now I'm lost in some distant
part of the universe on a ship...

A living ship, full of strange
alien life-forms...

Help me...

Listen, please.

Is there anybody out there
who can hear me?

...being hunted by an insane
m*llitary commander...

...doing everything I can...

I'm just looking for
a way home.

Oh, I think not.

What the frell?

You need my help.

I suggest you ask
nicely, Captain.

A Delvian.

And a quite attractive one.

So, you recaptured them, out
here on a New Technologies training flight?

U
- Tech has been experimenting with Leviathan mastery without the use of control collars.

How are you controlling the
ship without a collar?

Neural control on the ship's Pilot.
We control him, he controls the ship.

Yes, I heard they'd been
working on that.

But every test flight so far, they've
lost the Leviathan and the crew.

Well, so far, this test flight
has gone without a hitch.

Till you came aboard, Captain.

Tell me, what precisely
is your mission?

You don't have the clearance to
know anything my mission, Captain.

- Oh.
- But let me make it simple for you.

I've got one crate,

and I've got to get it back into
Peacekeeper control without delay.

One crate?

You see how simple it is?

Well, you, of course are
welcome to travel back with us, however...

No, no, you see, you
don't read me.

This is urgent.

I'll give you a set of
coordinates to a base.

We can be there in 20 arns.

20 arns?

But that would mean that the base is
out here in the Uncharted Territories.

It's a new Gammak base.

Secret.

Need to know only.

But since you'll be
taking me there,

I guess you need to know.

And, yes, it is here, in the
Uncharted Territories.

Hey! You damage the Captain's
prize and he'll have both your heads on jinka poles.

Whatever you say, Doc.

Hey, what's this?

Uh, may I approach?

Get as close as you
want, darling.

The Captain's ordered me
to attend to you.

There's proper food waiting in
the Centre Chamber when...

when you're ready.

That boot-shine Captain got a
non-reg server like you aboard?

I guess he's not as big a
nerfer as I thought he was.

What did he pay for you,
sweetheart?

Not much, I'm sure.

Sergeant...

I want to check the contents.

Now.

We've been out here in the Uncharteds for
nearly a full cycle looking for that thing.

That's a long time for me to hang
with just my Captain and these two.

For nearly a whole cycle?

Well, that is a long time to be...
to be searching for something.

I'm sure your... your Captain s
prize must be very valuable.

That s not for you to concern
yourself with, honey.

Would you like...? Oh!

I- I'm sorry.

- It's no problem.
- Really.

No problem at all.

Food in the Centre Chamber.

Got it. Now leave us.

Ha...

Too easy.

They certainly don t pay much
attention to rank, do they?

My people will follow every one of my
orders instantly, and without question.

I ask them to spit out of their eye,
I expect them to drop dead trying.

But make them stand up just
because I walk into a room?

Come on. I respect them
too much for that.

You've never interfaced with
Special Ops before?

I've heard of you.

Everyone at regiment level has.

Oh yes. What is it that
you call us?

Black ghosts.

Is that supposed to be an
insult?

Cause you know,
I kinda like it.

Insult, definitely.

Actually, I did see one
of your type once.

I was on a transfer barge. I was
changing troop ships and I...

I only saw him for a
couple of microts,

but I recognized the unkempt uniform,
and the undisciplined attitude...

Must have really offended you.

And just think,

now you're going to sit down
and eat with one.

All right, enough is enough.

This sham is over.
I say we storm them now.

No, no, no. This is working. They
think I'm a Peacekeeper Captain.

Certainly the uniform is
convincing.

Yes, we’re glad the
Peacekeepers left it on board.

You look very, uh, fetching.

John, D'Argo is right.

Perhaps we should take them now while
we still have the element of surprise.

Moya's in the final stages
of pregnancy.

We have 20 arns before we're
anywhere near that base.

I say we learn as much from
these guys as we can.

Aeryn's supposed to be grilling
Larraq right now.

And what is going to happen when Aeryn gets
sick and tired of pretending to take your orders?

John, the closer we get to that base,
the more dangerous it is for all of us.

And what if it s not
the only base?

I may be naive, but flying around
in the Uncharted Territories,

ignorant of what the
Peacekeepers are doing out here?

That to me seems dangerous.

Well I can tell you one thing for
free. I will not be chained up again.

- Fine.
- And I'm not having that door locked.

Fine.

Just stay out of sight.

We'd best get Rygel in
harmony with this.

Rygel?

Oh, he's used his hidden
escape route.

Beautiful.

Let's go find Sparky before
he screws this thing up.

Yeah, let's find him before
you screw it up.

- I'll take this tier.
- You take a look...

D'Argo, come on.

Crichton, get out of there.

D'Argo...

D'Argo...

Aah!

Guess you were pretty lucky I
came along when I did, eh, Captain?

If you ever lay hands on me again,
I will have you up on charges.

D'Argo, you did well.

Too well.

You ever fly anything a little
sexier than a Leviathan?

Let's see...

I started flying scrub runners
at fourteen cycles.

Half cycle later, a KL-80,
and an 81,

and then Prowler att*ck School
at sixteen.

Sixteen? Why'd you wait so long?

I had to.

My feet didn't reach
the pedals.

So, you said that you've been out here in the
Uncharted Territories for almost a full cycle?

Looking for whatever that
thing is in the crate.

And the sooner I get it into somebody
else's hands, the happier I'll be.

Don t ask, cause I'm not
going to tell you.

Why, 'cause you'd have
to k*ll me then?

Just stay away from it, okay?

That s a Stasis g*n, isn’t t it?

Came in handy on this trip.

Well, that s for capture,
not k*lling.

Look, you said that this base
we’re heading to is a Gammak Base.

That s science m*llitary, right?

Are you sure that it s wise to
take whatever that thing is...

Science m*llitary s perfect.

Let them deal with it.

Ow! Watch where you're cutting.

Easy for you to say.

How dare you sneak up
on me like that.

I should make you wear a bell
around your neck.

Keep your fantasies to
yourself, frog boy.

Fantasies? About you? Yuck!

Why, I never...

Oh, I've seen you looking at me.

You want to be a pervo,

you ought to practice subtle.

Oh. Well, don't get your
shivvies in an uproar.

Like I care.

Thorrn, status?

Yeah, Rhed.

I'm going to check out
the cargo bay.

Proceed.

Okay, roger that.

What are you doing down
here, anyway?

Me? You re the one who s
supposed to stay in his cage.

Well, Pilot said they were
bringing something onboard,

and I thought I'd come down
here and see if I could...

You're here for the same
reason I am.

To see if there s anything
inside worth snurching.

Snurch! I don't snurch.

I... procure.

Look, in the interest of not getting caught,
I'll agree to half whatever we procure.

Half?! I was here first.

But I have the, uh... the key.

Mmm. Okay, half.

- Open it.
- What? Me?

Don t you want your half of
whatever s in there?

Well, your half s in there too.

I'm not very practical.

Aye, aye, your royal frogness.

Ahh...

It's hot.

What is that?

Do you recognize the species?

Even if I did, I wouldn't
admit it.

Whatever it is,
it's still alive.

- Hey Thorrn!
- The Captain s after us.

We better get down to the...

Holy dren, how did that...

Captain! It's Rhed!
You'd better get down...

Frell.

A single sh*t in the cargo area.

Weapons fire?

This charade is definitely over.

Pilot, open these doors now!

What's he doing?

Shh!

I've had enough.

Rygel!

One down.

Spread out.

If it moves, sh**t it.

What is that?

What is going on here?

It's escaped.

What has escaped?

She's dead.
Somebody suffocated her.

"It has escaped."
What exactly is "it," Captain?

Over there.

Aeryn, no!
Step back from him, now!

What are you so frelling
afraid of?

Captain?

Peacekeeper Command sent us out
here on a fugitive recovery.

The fugitive we're after
is a virus.

When we finally isolated the virus,
it was using that creature as a host.

An intellant virus?

We caught the virus in its
single infection stage.

Meaning it can only infect
one host at a time.

Unless it gets a chance
to lay its spores.

Spores?

Yeah. Give it an arn in
a single host.

It can lay a couple of
million spores.

It does that and this whole end of the
galaxy s in some serious frelling dren.

Right, then.

That virus was inside the creature,
now it s somewhere on the ship.

Not somewhere.
It's inside someone.

The virus isn’t t airborne. It can only move
from one host to another by physical proximity.

You have to be really close
to whoever's got it.

Start talking, Thorrn.

What happened?

I don't remember.

Captain!

Chiana!

Lower your w*apon, Captain.

Chiana?

On your feet, now.

What happened here?

I... I was walking past
and I-I saw Rygel.

He-he opened up that crate.

Somehow, he-he got it open.

- Who's Rygel?
- The Hynerian prisoner.

The Peacekeeper came in.
He, uh... he att*cked.

He knocked him down. He stole
his w*apon and sh*t the other one.

Rygel.

The virus can make a host's muscles
fire all at once, increasing strength.

Thorrn, is that what happened?

- It could have happened.
- Where d this Rygel go?

The shaft.

The access shaft.

He could be anywhere
on the ship.

We've gotta find him before the virus has
time to incubate or transfer to another host.

How the frell did one of your
prisoners get loose?

Let me get this straight.

Rygel has been possessed by some Mensa
member virus that's going to lay eggs

that s going to infect all of us
in like an arn if we don't find him.

That's about it.

Great. Well I think under the
circumstances our little masquerade is over.

Under the circumstances, those commandos are
primed to sh**t at anything they do not trust.

The only thing that is over is our
chance to take them by surprise.

This is a disaster, Crichton.

It is a grave misfortune that
that uniform did not fit me.

Always a party.

Come on, stick with me.
You'll be safer.

What is going on?

Surrender yourselves!

It appears more of your
prisoners have escaped, Captain.

We don't have time for this.

You get into a fire fight, there may
be no one left to find the Hynerian.

We need them.

We take them down fast.

Let's do it now.

Ka D Argo.

Zotoh Zhaan.

There is a situation aboard this
ship which you are unaware of.

A situation which threatens
all of us.

We have an intellant
virus aboard.

It is using the Hynerian
as a host.

He has escaped and is hiding
somewhere in the ship.

If we do not find him, isolate him before
this virus has a chance to lay its spores,

then we all die.

We have to work together
on this deal.

We search fast and thorough,
in pairs.

Nobody goes it alone from
this moment on.

The virus's best defense is
moving from one host to another

while nobody's watching until
nobody knows who it's in.

Then it waits and lays
its spores.

There's no way of testing
for its presence?

Well the host s body will show signs of higher
acidity, but only after the virus has left.

So while the virus is inhabiting, there
is no way of telling, until it s too late.

You see the Hynerian, you hit
your Comms and stay away from him.

No physical contact whatsoever.

Believe me, you do not want this thing
choosing you to incubate its spores.

Right then.

Let's do it.

Pilot.

Yes, Captain.

Report.

My DRDs have checked all
tiers and passageways.

No signs of him.

I suspect he is still in the
access shaft system.

Concentrate your search there.

As you wish, Captain.

Shall we shaft it?

When the virus moves from
one host to another,

doesn't the original host
remember being infected?

No. The virus leaves behind
a mild hallucinogenic

which disrupts the whole
short-term memory system

leaving them a little dizzy and confused,
but they remember nothing of the experience.

My people had an experience
with an intellant virus once.

An entire exploration colony
was destroyed.

My mother had family there, but
even the Delvian High Council

couldn't do anything about it.

Sorry to bore you.

Come on, Pip.

When you first found this thing, why
didn't you k*ll it while you had a chance?

That wasn't the mission.

The mission was to
capture one alive.

That's what my team and I have spent the
better part of a cycle doing out here.

Or what's left of my team.

Why would anybody want
this thing alive?

To study it, tame it
if they can.

When you release a cloud of intelligent,
controlled viruses among your enemy,

a few arns later, their entire
army's now working for you.

All right.

But capturing one. That's
clearly a su1c1de mission.

It was a challenge.

A challenge?

A challenge that has cost you
three members of your crew.

Four, and it may cost a lot more
than that before we capture it again.

You first.

You have the w*apon.

You first.

We've got to find Rygel soon.
The arn's almost up.

How does a damned virus get
to be so smart anyway?

What s it do?

When we find Rygel,
if we find Rygel,

we better find some way to k*ll this
stinking virus without k*lling him.

We've found him.

Location.

Centre Chamber.

On the way.

Stay away from me!
Stay away from me!

I'm not coming out of here until you
tell me what the yotz is going on.

Well, he is trapped but you
don t have a very clear sh*t.

If I miss, it takes this Stasis
g*n several microts to recharge.

We don't have several microts.

Why not just use a regular
pulse r*fle?

No. No, I've got to
take him alive.

What the yotz are you going
to do with that?!

Certainly sounds like
the Hynerian.

It's supposed to. That's
exactly what the virus does.

Listen to me. Let me explain.

I'm not the man you want.

It's that thing, isn't it?

The thing in the box?

...but I wasn't the
only one there!

Listen to me!

I'm not the guilty
party in this!

Hit him.

He's down.

All right, let s get him out of there
into the containment box down below, now.

I must formulate some
sort of antibody

that will k*ll the virus
without k*lling Rygel.

Yes, this is why you should be
in the transport hangar

working with your apothecary
and not in a locked cell.

And what if you don t?

You might k*ll Rygel. You might
think your magic pill worked,

and then Rygel's up walking around
the ship, coughing up spores.

Cats and dogs living together.
No, no, no.

Our only chance is to talk to
the Peacekeeper science officer.

What's her name, the one
with the nice lips.

Hassan.

If anybody knows about an
antibody, it will be her.

And, D'Argo, forget about
the use of force.

You think you can make Hassan
tell you about the antibody?

Name me the Peacekeeper
you've met

who'd give a royal dren if you stuck
a charged pulse r*fle to their head?

But John, we are on a direct
course for the Peacekeeper base.

And I would rather not be locked
in the cell when we arrive.

And I say we need to find out
about the base.

We have the time. Let's use it.

Let's not blow it by going
around the ship waving g*ns about.

The antibody is top priority.

Look, as soon as I leave here,
I'm going straight to hot lips.

Trust me.

Came to see if you
needed a hand.

Doesn't look like you do.

No.

I reckon not.

Right, then.

So, what happens to the
Hynerian once the virus has been leeched out of him?

He doesn't know this, but he's
already spoken his dying words.

It's not a pretty process.

You know, I talk about the challenge of
bringing in this fugitive virus, but...

numerically speaking, I'd have
to say it's winning.

You know this may sound funny, but
you ever think about going Special Ops?

Me?

I've seen you in action.

What are you doing in
Ustar Regiment, huh?

You're being wasted there.

You're wasting yourself there.

Plus, I...

I like the idea of having
you nearby.

Bad timing.

Let s just get this assignment
closed down, huh?

No, it isn’t t that.

Look, I know you've got your
Captain to consider,

and High Command s going to have
plenty to say on the subject.

But if you and I get some time
at the Gammak Base,

maybe we can sit down,
talk about it.

Captain.

Lieutenant.

This is quite a collection
of herbs and spices.

Who uses them?

No one, now.

I have no idea who was aboard
prior to this technician.

Well, there's a fascinating accumulation
from so many different worlds.

They believe that the virus
is still inside Rygel?

Yes, but they also think
there's no test to be certain.

Pilot said you wanted to see me.

Yes. Tell me how you're feeling.

I'm fine.

Any dizziness?

No.

Well, yeah, a little. But...

how did you know that?

Here, lick this.

What? That's your bedcover.

Is everybody aboard this
ship kinkoid?

This material contains litmus
fibers. Now, just lick it.

Acid.

You had the virus in you.

What? Are you tinked?

When the virus leaves its host it
leaves behind a telltale acidity.

Don't you think I'd remember
if I had some sort of...

No, you wouldn't.

If the virus is no longer in Rygel,
then it must be in somebody else.

Pilot, you reported an
increase in speed?

Yes, Lieutenant.

The Captain is accelerating
our approach

towards the coordinates given
to me by Captain Larraq.

Is that the case, Captain?

It is, Lieutenant.

I want us at that Gammak base and that
bug off my ship as fast as possible.

I couldn't agree more.

Hmm.

What are you doing
accelerating?

I'm doing exactly what a
commander in my position would do.

These commandos are not stupid.

I'm doing my part. You do yours.
Get the damned information.

It's a rather large
galaxy, Captain.

How did you ever manage to find
something as tiny as a virus?

Perseverance.

Larraq, about the
Gammak base, we're...

You must be a very patient man.

Very methodical man.

I'm a good tracker.

Oh, I'd say a great tracker.

Captain?

The Maintenance Bay.

Lieutenant Hassan, she's dead.
ex*cuted.

The Stasis g*n, it's destroyed.

Nobody move.

No!

The virus is still loose!

I believe it's in Crichton.

Oh, no.

What's going on?

Don't move.

Are you people crazy?

What's everybody looking at?

What's everybody looking at?!

The virus, John.

It's in one of us.

Shut up.

Stay back!

Put it down.
Drop your weapons! Now!

Shut up!

Shut up! All of you, shut up!

Somebody talk to me!

The virus was inside of you and
now it is inside one of them.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What do
you mean, the virus was in me?

It wasn't ever in Rygel.
It was in Chiana.

She passed it to you.

I don't remember a thing!

And you won't. Neither will you, John.
It's part of the virus's defense...

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What's this "John" dren?

That topic is off at the
moment, Captain.

If indeed you are the Captain.

The virus was inside Chiana?

Her body's acidity was
abnormally high.

That is the sign.

Can the virus re-enter someone
after it's left them?

No.

Good. Chiana, over here.

Hey, hey, wait a second.
Who are you?

Off topic, Captain, remember?

Okay, so the virus is inside of one
of you and you all got g*ns. Great.

We will sh**t at it if it starts
sh**ting and k*ll it where it stands.

That's only mildly comforting, Aeryn, since
the virus will probably start sh**ting first.

I say we cut the odds and
smoke em all right

Yeah? How do we know it
isn't in you, huh?

Maybe what you really want is
to cut the competition.

How do we know it isn't
in you Captain?

Twisted as it sounds, what we have
right here is exactly what we need:

g*ns in a lot of hands,
pointed in every direction.

What about that freezo
g*n you had?

You destroyed it.

What we need is some way to k*ll the
virus, now, while we've got it trapped here.

Yes, an antibody. Zhaan said
that she could make one.

You willing to try that?

I'm willing to try anything.

You realize I don't have the
components I once did.

Just keep working, Zhaan.

I figure with such high acidity,

I need something that will
adjust the body's alkali levels,

and bump up each species'
natural immune system.

Yeah, well, whatever it is
you're taking it first.

Hey, lighten up.
You didn't do it.

Well, you did, but...

it wasn't really you.

Ready.

I know, me first.

How will we know it has worked?

An acid-based life-form would
have a noticeable reaction

to this level of alkaline,
even if it doesn't k*ll it.

Well, you all saw the
components that I put in.

Right.

Over here.

Okay.

Who's next?

I will.

Told you.

Do it.

It's the Luxan!

It's him!

Drop your w*apon!

Put your w*apon down!

sh**t him now! What are you
waiting for?!

I am telling you to
drop your w*apon!

All right, do it!

Come on, just do it.

So we can prove it's him
and we can k*ll him!

Come on.

Eenie...

meenie...

minie...

D'Argo.

Stop him!

Pilot?!

I've been monitoring.

DRDs are searching.

Cut him off! Don't let
him off this tier!

Closing access points now.

Larraq?

Not exactly.

But this shell of his is going to
get me onto that Peacekeeper base.

Stay back!

I learned a lot from the time
I spent inside you.

You fugitives want to stay away
from that Peacekeeper base

as badly as I want to get there.

So here's what we're
going to do.

You're going to let me into that
Marauder ship without any interference.

And then you're free to blast
yourselves as far from here as you want.

If the virus is allowed to spawn it
could contaminate thousands of species

before it's able to be
contained again.

I'm sorry. Is that a problem?

Crichton, you just do
what you have to do!

This Larraq guy, he
really liked you.

A lot.

Aeryn!

No!

God!

You go! Go after him!

The virus can't re-infect you.
Go! Go!

Zhaan! Chiana!

Larraq is headed towards
the Transport Hangar!

Zhaan, I need you down here, Tier Seven,
hamman side passageway. Come on, quick!

Hurry!

The Transport Hangar.

Pilot, seal the outer
transport doors!

No! Pilot, is that ship still
leaking cesium fuel?

Yes.

Then let him go.

Pilot, stand by for Starburst.

Moya is in no condition
to Starburst.

Not full Starburst,
just the first stage.

And I want this ship nose to tail where she
is, one hundred and eighty degrees, right now!

On my command...

now!

Boom.

You can relax. You'll soon
be back to normal.

Will I?

Well, I don't think I'll ever recover
from that infernal inferno contraption.

There aren't enough cold towels
in the universe for a start.

Perhaps we should lock you up in a
refrigeration unit for a few arns.

At least then we wouldn't have to
listen to your incessant whining.

Oh, such sympathy.

Of course, I should expect
nothing less from you.

You can expect less than
nothing from me.

You conspired to open
that crate.

Anything that happens to you
now you brought upon yourself.

I'm sure he has learned
his lesson, D'Argo.

I see you have removed the
chains from your cell.

And I will take great pleasure
in destroying them.

If there is one thing I have learnt from this
fiasco it s that I will never be chained up again.

I pray that will be the case.

You can pray all you like.

I was expressing a fact,
not a hope.

I understand your pain, D Argo.

It must have been a difficult
deception to carry out.

Eh, difficult?

Difficult?

Any deception where I end up
boxed on slow bake like

some ugarian table spud is
an outright failure!

Course I knew from the start
that Crichton d never pull it off.

Really?

Yet you let him lock you
in your cell

while an unknown amount of
Peacekeepers were allowed on board.

Very interesting.

Perhaps next time we will
follow a plan of your devising.

Yes, perhaps we will.

Next time.

I pray there will never
be a next time.

Welcome back.

You know, for a while there Zhaan wasn't
too sure you were going to make it.

What's happened to the virus?

It's dead.

So is Larraq.

He stabbed me, didn't he?

Yeah.

You got lucky; he missed
your heart.

Closer than you think.

So, um... the Peacekeeper base?

We're getting as far away
from it as we can.

It's still out there.
We don't know why.

What are you doing
in here, anyway?

Oh, I just wanted to, um...

um...

the, the...

Thank you.

Don't mention it.

Why would I ever mention it?
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