09x16 - Off the Grid

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Stargate SG

-1 Unfortunately, that ship is now in the hands of the Lucian Alliance.



- The who?



- It's a coalition of former smugglers and mercenaries who've banded together to take advantage of the power vacuum left by the demise of the Goa'uld.

We received a communiqué from a Goa'uld named Nerus.



- Ring any bells?



- He is a Goa'uld known for his many appetites.

I was the one who figured out how to activate all the Stargates in the galaxy at once! Didn't Ba'al mention that?

You will descend to a small, dark room in the basement of Area 51, and you'll stay there till you come up with a defense

- against the Ori.



- What would possibly compel me to do that?

Hunger.



- What did you say to them?



- Look, obviously, it didn't go so well.

I did advise that you were a most unlikely drug smuggler, Colonel Mitchell.

Can we please just fall back to the Gate?

We cannot hold this position.

What's taking so long?

Guys?



- We've got a problem!

- Yes, bad men are sh**ting at us! Just hurry up and open the damn Gate.

Season 9

- Episode 16 "Off The Grid" .



- It's called kassa.



- Looks a lot like corn.

Which I always thought was indigenous to North America.

Must be pretty damn tasty if it's causing all this fuss.

I believe lieutenant Mooney described it as "sweet corn heaven.

" What's his condition?

He still craving it, Sir.

He didn't even want to leave the planet.

I had to restrain him to get him back here.

That's amazing.

Obviously you've never had my grandma's corn bread and black

-eyed peas.

No.

What about the rest of the population?

Were they demonstrating any of the same addictive behaviors?

Everybody was fine when we first got there.

A fight broke out in the marketplace when supplies ran low, and my men and I had to move in to restore order.

That's what made Mooney want to taste it in the first place.



- I just didn't think it would

- it's all right.

What does Dr.

Lee have to say about it?

He's still analyzing the sample now, Sir, to determine whether or not it's naturally occurring.

Which makes me wonder if the Ori have something to do with this.

Get all the population jonesing for space corn?

I don't know.

I also do not believe that to be unlikely.

It doesn't really fit their M.

O.

, does it?

Besides, there was no evidence that a Prior had ever been there before.

In the last session of the interim council, several Jaffa leaders complained of erratic behavior on several planets.

We did not suspect tampering with the food supply.

Colonel, were you able to determine where this kassa came from?

I pressured one of the vendors for a Gate address, but to be honest, I don't know if it's accurate.

It's worth checking out, Sir.

Well, find out what you can, but try to stay under the radar.

Will do.

Taste

-testing the produce?

Please I have two daughters.

Don't worry.

We're not gonna hurt you.

Who are you?

What do you want?

We're looking to buy some kassa.

It is available at every market.

We're looking for a sizable quantity.

I can maybe spare you one or two carts full.

How much for the whole field?



- This is not the way the Alliance does business.



- As in the Lucian Alliance?

How many alliances do we know?

Many.

The Lucian Alliance will know you have come.

They have eyes everywhere.

Great, because we're looking to set up a meeting.

Maybe you can arrange that.

Worrel returns this afternoon.



- Worrel is?



- This is his land, his crop.

He lives in the house just up the road.

Well, tell him Mr.

Shaft would like to meet with him.

Any specific time, or should I just block off the whole afternoon?

I will arrange it, but I must warn you he will not take kindly to your request or to your presence.

What the hell was that?

What was what?

We're supposed to stay under the radar.



- I doubt if this world possesses such technology.



- See, when he's right, he's right.

Sam has a point.

We're not equipped to take these guys on right now.

I have no intention of taking anybody on.

I'm just going to pose as a buyer You?

No offense, Jackson, but you do not strike me as the drug

-dealer type.

In fact, you're not even close.



- I think I'm as close as you are.



- Come on, you're miles away.

Teal'c, which one of us is closer?



- I believe the three of you to be equidistant.



- Oh, please! Mary Poppins is not even in the running.

And neither are you because I'm going.

I'm just gonna ask some questions about the operation, find out what I can, tell them their price is too high, and then high tail it out of there.

This was a bad idea.

It's been four hours now.

When do we call this thing?

They are heavily armed.

This is the man I told you about, Mr.

Shaft.

Hey.

You must be Worrel.

Where are your friends, Mister?

I figured you'd rather deal one

-on

-one.

Call me Shaft.

Who told you kassa was grown here?

In my business, you get to know the right people.

What right people?

You know, the good, hardworking type tell you what you want to know and then disappear.

You can go.

We'll talk inside.

Great.

If we remain here, we will be discovered.

Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

Fellows do you think I'd carry a w*apon?

Enough.

Alright, Mister.

What can I do for you?

I represent a coalition of seven planets with a combined population of 30 million kassa

-hungry souls.

We're looking for a supplier.

I don't have that kind of inventory.

Nah, nobody does.

That's why I need more than one.



- So, if you could just refer me

- Refer you?

Higher up.

So you wish to speak to my superior?

I think our needs are big enough to warrant his attention.

Your needs?

Ooh, that didn't look good.



- Just exactly who do you think you are?



- I already told you my name.

"Mister?

" Actually, it's just "Shaft.

" "Mister" is more of a courtesy title, so if you could just pass it along to your superiors, that's all I'm asking.

I'm forced to wonder what someone like yourself a businessman representing

- how many planets did you say again?



- Seven,

- but one of 'em is actually a moon, so

- So, 30 million potential customers, and you need me to arrange a meeting with my superior?

See, now, you're selling yourself short.

Yeah, I think he's in trouble.

As are we.



- What did you say to them?



- Look, obviously it didn't go so well.

Guys?

What's taking so long?

We've got a problem! Just hurry up and open the damned Gate.

Okay.

Here's an obvious question You're surrounded! Drop your weapons.

Chevron four encoded.

Chief, how long are they overdue now?

Two hours, Sir.

Colonel Mitchell's never missed a check

-in.

Chevron five encoded.

General Landry, Sir?

I just spoke with Dr.

Lee.

He's determined that the plant contains a highly addictive psychostimulant Which just confirms what we already knew.

But we didn't know it as engineered, which means it didn't evolve naturally.

Chevron six encoded.



- Chevron seven will not lock.



- Why not?

I don't know, Sir.

I'm not showing any malfunction at this end.



- Run a diagnostic and try again.



- Yes, Sir.

The infamous SG

-1.

Everybody, this is Worrel.

Trust me, Mister, you won't get the best of me again.

Actually, it's Mitchell.

Cameron Mitchell.

I tried to explain the "Mister" thing.



- I don't think he gets it.



- How did you steal the Stargate?

What?

SG

-1 shows up on my little backwater planet, and the Stargate vanishes.

I'm not a fool.

Perhaps not.

But we are not responsible.

We were here on a reconnaissance mission.

So you were done slaying System Lords and decided to move on to more pressing agricultural concerns?

That's exactly it.

Corn patrol.

Oh, I have a question.

Why would we make the Gate magically disappear before we had a chance to escape through it?

Bad timing?

That's got to be the single stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Do things always go according to plan in your world, Dr.

Jackson?

No.

Not usually, no.

Then I would guess this is another one of those times.

And until my Stargate is returned things will continue to go wrong.

We've made repeated attempts to connect, Sir.

There's no signal whatsoever.

It's got to be a problem with the offworld Gate.



- Get me colonel Emerson on board the Odyssey.



- Yes, Sir.

Right away.



- Sir, I have general Landry for you.



- On screen.

Colonel, how goes the shakedown?

Care to take a ride?

Another time.

I just need you to tell me that your hyperdrive is part of that 90%.

We've lost contact with SG

-1.

They were on P6G

-452.

Estimate 22 hours, Sir.

I wouldn't want to go into battle just yet, but I think we can reach 452 and extract SG

-1 inside of a day.

Glad to hear it.

I assume they have the new locator chip implants?

They were the first, after the events on Tegalus.

I can't think of a better first operational mission for the Odyssey than to bring home SG

-1.

Neither can I, Colonel.



- Good luck.



- Thank you, Sir.

Landry out.

Major Marks, set a course for P6G

-452.

Yes, Sir.

Attention, all decks.

This is Emerson.

Prepare to engage hyperdrive.

Take us out.

With pleasure, Sir.

Seriously.

Why would we take the Stargate away before we had a chance to escape through it?

And don't say "bad timing.

" Are things continuing to go wrong for you, Dr.

Jackson?

It's within your power to change that.

Torturing us is not going to get you the answer you're looking for.

I don't want to t*rture you.

In fact, if you tell me the location of the Stargate, I'm prepared to release you.

Oh, you are not.



- I can't can you believe he just said that?



- You've already blown your chance.

Whoever took your Stargate is long gone.

And when your superiors discover that you have let the real thieves escape, it is you who will be tortured.

Someone is stealing Stargates?

Well, four that we know of, Sir, according to the Tok'ra dispatch.

Which could explain why we haven't been able to dial 452 and contact SG

-1.

Exactly, Sir.

In fact, the Trust tried this once with our Gate.

Isn't any Goa'uld mothership or similar class vessel capable of taking a Gate?

Not with Asgard beaming technology, which one eye

-witness apparently confirmed is the method being used.

Send an encrypted databurst of all available intel to colonel Emerson on board the Odyssey.



- Yes, Sir.



- Oh, and chief?

Call Peterson Air Base.

I need to take a little trip to Area 51.

Right away, Sir.

General.

They told me you were coming, but I didn't believe them.

I said, "I don't believe you.

" Well, here I am.

You come to visit a condemned prisoner empty

-handed?

You're not a condemned prisoner, Nerus.

But if you tell me what I need to know I'll arrange a feast, the likes of which you have not seen since you set foot on this planet.

Feast?

I do not use the word lightly.

Nor do I.

How may I be of service, my dear General?

Someone out there is stealing Stargates.

I need to know who, how, and why.

Stealing them?

Beamed right off the planets with Asgard technology, as far as we know.

Well, that must be maddening for you.

It is.



- I already have an idea who it might be.



- Well, if you're so smart, what do you need me for?

I have a theory.

I still need some answers.

But such a quandary must be worth more to you than a single, solitary indulgent meal.

Perhaps we could discuss my

- dietary requirements on a more permanent

- Every minute you waste trying to negotiate, I take one item off the menu.

Can we talk over appetizers?

General! Look, for what it's worth, guys, I'm sorry I dragged you into this.

Oh, it happens all the time.

Ah, my friend You wear the furrowed brow of a deeply worried man.

How's your day going?

We've been recalled by the Alliance.

Well, you can't say we didn't tell you so.

It is far worse news for you.

I no longer have any reason to keep you alive.

No, wait, I can think of a reason We're more valuable alive.

Yes, we're more valuable alive.

Good one.

No.

My instructions were quite clear.

Take care of Mr.

Shaft last.

I want him to watch the others go first.

Your deaths will serve as a warning to your people never to meddle with our operations in the future.

General.

This chicken is most plump and delicious.



- You spoil me, General!

- It's called turkey.



- Turkey?



- Another rare delicacy.

Well, I must have more turkey! What's this?



- I'm losing patience, Nerus.



- Well, you already know who it is.



- So it is Ba'al?



- Of course it's Ba'al.

Who else would it be?

Why is he doing it?

You're the genius.

You tell me.

Ah, maybe there's no need to go into the third and fourth courses.

No, General, no, no, no, no I meant that as the most sincere form of flattery.

You are one of the more intelligent human beings I have ever had the pleasure of meeting and I assure you, General, that this meal has just begun.

I'm glad to hear that.

Hey, the other three had nothing to do with this.

I was running the operation.

Cam Worrel knows this.

Tell him to get back here.

SG

-1 I'm colonel Paul Emerson.

Welcome aboard the Odyssey.

Thank you, Sir.



- How about that timing, Jackson?



- Good timing.

Airman, let's get these people out of these bindings and to the infirmary.

Sir.

I know you people have been through a lot Yeah, we'll live.

Hand it over.

We received this intel from Stargate Command a few hours ago.

Damn, Ba'al's been busy.

He's been gathering up Stargates from all over the sector for the last several weeks.

Yeah, we saw one of them disappear.

Do we know why?

Not yet.

Nor do we know where he is.

What of the Lucian Alliance?

For the moment, General Landry considers this our top priority.

Where's he getting his intel?

Nerus.

Oh jimdandy.

Such intelligence cannot be considered reliable.

I'm not sure.

Nerus did work for Ba'al for centuries.

It's a good place as any to start.

And general Landry can be pretty persuasive when he needs to be.

Nerus, you have the most atrocious table manners of any person I've ever met.

Oh, General, please.

You forget that, despite appearances,

- I am not human.



- Oh, my goodness.

Why does Ba'al want a dozen Stargates?

Nerus?

Dessert! Young man, you have positively read my mind! Come in, come in.

Make room for dessert! Just put Ooh, what are?

Individually frosted cakes! Well, you're so clever you figured out the perpetrator.

What do you think?

We assume he intends to offer them back to the planets he's stolen them from.

In exchange for some form of payment.

You're not very intelligent, are you, General?

Sorry to disappoint you.

Well, you're just thinking too small, that's all.

You've got to think more like a Goa'uld.

What is it that Ba'al once had?

Think of it.

Now think of what he has lost.

He's starting over.

Precisely.

See?

There's still hope for you yet.

See, some time ago, Ba'al came to me, looking for a way to rebuild, in the event that the Jaffa ever succeeded in conquering the Goa'uld.

Now, I had been studying the Stargate system for months to help you defeat the Replicators, incidentally and I stumbled upon a way to disable the correlative update program.

So you could move a Stargate and not have it transmit its new position to the rest of the network.

Precisely.

So it would seem that Ba'al has put my research into practice.

Which leads us

- to where?



- I have a theory, General, but no assortment of cheeses, however delicious, could possibly compel me to tell you that.

What did you have in mind?

My freedom.

Absolutely not.

Once he has set the program, it will be impossible to detect.

Your freedom just isn't on the table, Nerus, but I'm sure there is something else we could offer.

My dear General, I rarely say this, so please take it to heart when I say that, for the moment, I'm full.

What were you thinking, Worrel?

Please don't k*ll me.

Why would I do that?



- The last time I heard you say that to someone, they

- I'm just stunned that you would honestly believe that SG

-1 would steal the Gate and trap themselves on the planet.

Well I You had them for almost two days, and you learned nothing.

And now two

-thirds of our crop will rot uselessly.



- If we could bring in cargo ships

- Cargo ships?

Do you have any idea how many it would actually take?

I promise I will avenge this.

Don't worry about SG

-1 and Earth.

They are of little consequence.

We have spies all over the galaxy.

Find out who really took the Stargate and get it back or don't bother returning yourself.

Yes, Netan.

I trust you're all packed.

Yes, with a sizable assortment of what do you call them?

Cupcakes.

Yes! A most generous point to concede in our negotiation, General.



- Consider it a going

-away present.



- Well, I'm touched.

Yes, well, I admit it took some convincing.

Well, superiors can sometimes be difficult.

They do have reason not to trust you.

Yes, but but you did you did convince them that it was a fair bargain?

Me giving the coordinates for my freedom?

Unless, of course, you don't intend to honor I think you know by now I'm a man of my word.

Well, yes, of course you are.

Then you should have no trouble believing me when I say that if you're lying about these coordinates, there will be nowhere in this galaxy for you to hide.

I I believe you.

I'm glad.

Farewell! Putz.

Should I dial the coordinates he left, Sir?

No, it's probably a black hole, or worse.

If I've learned one thing in this command, it's never to trust a Goa'uld, especially if his name is Nerus.

Yes, Sir.

Come in.

Sir, we're picking up a subspace signal from the beacon.



- That was fast.



- Yes, Sir.

It looks like you were right.

He went back to Ba'al.

Send the coordinates to Odyssey, A.

S.

A.

P.

Yes, Sir.

Sir, if you don't mind my asking How did we plant the beacon on Nerus?

Yes, Sir.

It was a piece of cake.

Sir?

I'm receiving a subspace transmission from SGC.

It's a set of coordinates.

Ba'al.

General Landry's indeed persuasive.

Colonel, is the Odyssey ready to fight?

Our shields have only been tested in simulations, but our weapons and navigation are online.

Let's take him down.

How nice! You came to greet me in person.

Oh, oh! I have this fabulous innovation I want you to it's called a "cupcake.

" It's so good Why have you returned?

My old friend, you wound me deeply.

I am capable of wounding you much more deeply.

I thought you made yourself quite comfortable with the Tau'ri.

Or was it the Ori?

You actually believe that that I would defect to the Ori?

No, no.

It was a temporary lapse of judgment, I admit, but I have never, in my in my life ever wavered one iota in my devotion for you Sire.

Are you certain you were not followed?

I am a genius, you know.

So you insist.

Yes, and so I have proven in my service to you time and time again.

Do you know how many Stargates I had to go through to get here?

Five Stargates! And that kind and naive general promised me anyway, he gave me his word that he wouldn't follow me.

If you wish to return to my court, Nerus, you shall have to prove yourself.



- How?



- Find me planets suitable for my new empire.



- I am ready to begin anew.



- Well, first I must recover from my harrowing ordeal.

It would be wise not to defy me, Nerus.

Things have changed considerably since you left.

From what little we know of Ba'al's ship, there's only one cargo hold big enough to store the Stargates and that's here.

We beam onto the ship, make our way to the cargo hold and

- tag the Gates with these suckers.



- Locator beacons.

They only operate through subspace, so they shouldn't be detected.

Once we lock on to their signal, we beam back the Gates, beam ourselves out, and hopefully be gone before Ba'al knows the difference.

But won't Ba'al be able to detect the Odyssey?

And even if they don't, how do you beam through his shields?

Let's just say that's been taken into consideration.

Oh, dear.

General Landry had Dr.

Lee program a virus into several of Nerus' devices.

As soon as he interfaces one of them with the ship, it should k*ll all their systems

- shields, sensors, weapons

- Colonel Emerson, this is flight deck.

We're coming out of hyperspace now, Sir.

Understood.

We're on our way.

Ba'al's ship should be dead ahead, Sir.

Have they detected us?

Negative, Sir, but I am receiving a subspace locator code.

It was programmed to transmit when the virus went active.

Nerus didn't waste time for a change.

What is happening?

All our systems have failed.

How can that be?

I have limited power back online.

It looks like the systems are being disrupted from within the ship.

Come with me.

This way.

We're in.

Understood.

We will hold the station within beaming range.

Oh.

Hello.

Oh, it's just a teeny tiny virus.

I'm sure I can eradicate it in short order as soon as I regain control of the terminal.

Oh, general, you're a lot more devious than I thought you were.

You disappoint me.

I'll I'll keep you informed.

Thank you.

Oh, here you are again.

Oh, well, I don't think that that sh**ting the console will help, but you can try.

Oh.

I see.

I don't suppose there's anything I can say.

But I'm so interesting.

We have an intruder on the ship.

Oh, boy.



- One, two, three, four, five, six, seven twelve

- We're going to need more locators.

Colonel Mitchell.

Company! Ideas?

Houston, we have a problem.

What is it?

Sir! Another three motherships just dropped out of hyperspace.

What?

Intercepting a hail, Sir.

Ha'tak vessel, this is Netan of the Lucian Alliance.

Surrender now or you will be destroyed.

Lucian Alliance, this is colonel Emerson, commander of the Earth vessel Odyssey.

Please respond.

Sir, they've powered up weapons.

Target appears to be Ba'al's ship.

SG

-1, this is Odyssey.

What's your status?

Jackson, a little help! Our position has been compromised, but we're attempting to proceed with the mission.

Be advised, the Lucian Alliance just showed up.

You can't go up against all of them with an untested ship.

They're targeting Ba'al's ship.

We got to get you out of there now.

That's a negative.

I'm still tagging the Gates.

Colonel, without shields, Ba'al's ship won't be able to withstand anything.

We know.

Thank you.

SG

-1 out.

Status?

Managed to restore sensors and communications.

I am detecting four other ships in close proximity.

What?

We're being hailed.

Put them on screen.

This is Netan of the Lucian Alliance.

You have cargo that belongs to us.

You will surrender it and your ship now.

You are in no position to make such demands.

You have no shields and no weapons.

Surrender immediately or prepare to be boarded.

Go ahead and try.

Fire on them.

Target weapons and hyperdrive engines.

Get me my shields! Sir, the Lucian Alliance vessel has opened fire.

SG

-1, stand by for extraction.

I'm attaching the last beacon now.

Go! Activating transport.

I have managed to restore shields.

Sir?

We've got a problem.

Ba'al's shields just went back up.

You're going to have to sit tight.

We can't sit for long! Fall back.

Bring us about.

Captain, fire forward rail g*ns at the lead ship.

It looks like we're going to be testing our shields.

Evasive.

Report.

Shields are holding, but down 11%, Sir.

The Lucian Alliance ship shows minimal damage.

What about Ba'al's ship?

Can we get them out of there yet?

Negative, Sir.

Last mag.

Alright, we need to find another way off this boat.

Carter?

I have an idea.

Nice.

Jaffa.

Covering fire.

Forget weapons.

Bring our hyperdrive online.

My Lord, I'm showing imminent shield failure.



- Sir, Ba'al's ship just lost shields.



- Get them out of there now.

Hangar deck, report.

Sir, we've got all the Gates but one.

We couldn't get a lock on its beacon.

What about SG

-1?

Negative, Sir.

Ba'al's ship has been destroyed.

Concentrate all weapons fire on the Earth vessel.

All three Lucian Alliance vessels are targeting us now, Sir.

Engage hyperdrive.

Glad to see you.

I'm a little surprised to see you come through the Gate.

Colonel Carter successfully reprogrammed one of the DHDs in Ba'al's cargo hold so that we could in fact escape.

Well done.

With your permission, Sir, we should let the Odyssey know that we're okay.

They probably fear the worst.

The worst?

That we were blown up with Ba'al's ship in the Lucian Alliance's att*ck, Sir.

So the Stargates were destroyed?

No, hopefully, the Odyssey managed to beam the Gates off in time.

An eventful few days.

Debrief in one hour.

We have got the best jobs in the world, don't we?

I'm gonna hit the shower.

I'm gonna find a doctor.

We are indeed suitably employed.

Yeah, it was a good day.