05x24 - A Decent Proposal

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Wings". Aired: April 19, 1990, to May 21, 1997.*
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Two brothers, Joe and Brian Hackett, run a one-plane commuter service from a small Nantucket airport.
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05x24 - A Decent Proposal

Post by bunniefuu »

( upbeat theme playing )

( indistinct chatter )

Oh, my God.

( stutters )

Excuse me,
I'm sorry.

Um, man--
Uh, you're--

You're Ray Charles,
aren't you?

That's right.

Oh, man,
I-I'm a huge fan of yours.

And, uh,
my girlfriend and I--

We listen to your music
all the time.

And, well, she's not
my girlfriend anymore

but-- But...

Oh...
Oh, you know something?

This would be perfect,
this would be perfect.

Listen, Ray...

Uh-- Mr. Charles, sorry.

My girlfriend and I
just recently broke-up

and no matter what I do
she won't take me back.

I mean, I've tried everything.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

What a sad story.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...

Well, uh--

Okay, you know your song:

"I Can't Stop Loving You?"

Oh, yeah, I've heard it.

( laughs )

Of course, I-I...

You sing it all the time,
I mean...

Well, anyway, um, uh--

My girlfriend, Alex--

That's her name, Alex.

--that is her favorite song

and I was thinking that, uh--

She's standing
right over there.

If you were to just
go over to her

and just sing a few bars
of "I Can't Stop Loving You"

and say it's from Brian,

she would take me back
in a second.

What do you say? Huh?

W-w-w-would ya do it? Huh?

Would ya? Huh?
Please?

No.

( upbeat theme playing )

Hey, Joe.
Hey.

Uh, listen, this morning
on your landing

did you by any chance

hear a really scary
grinding noise

coming out of
the port engine?

No, why?

Ah, it's probably
nothing.

No, wait, hold on.

If you think
you heard something

you probably should
check it out.

You're right.

It's better to be safe

then really,
really sorry.

Oh, Joe, the man
from the bank is here.

Oh, all right, send him in.

Fay, uh--

Think I have a chance
of getting this loan?

Oh, of course I do.

You're not just
saying that, are you?

Of course I am.

Uh, right this way,
Mr. Thompson.

How do you do, Mr. Hackett?
Steve Thompson.

Hi, nice to finally meet you.

Uh, please, uh--
Call me Joe.

Okay, I trust you were able to
put the figures together for me.

Yeah, yeah, I got
the, uh, tax returns

and the profits and loss
statements from last five years

right here.

You're staring at my head,
aren't you?

No, no, I'm not.
Yes, you are.

No, I'm not, I'm just
looking at your hat.

You're a Red Sox fan, huh?

You wanna know what's under
the hat, don't you?

No, I don't.
Yes, you do.

All right, all right,
I just had

a little work done
on my hairline.

You're repulsed,
aren't you?

No, I'm not.

Ah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,

I just had these
hair plugs put in

and I'm a little self-conscious.

Oh, there's no need to be,
it's barely noticeable.

I can't believe it.

Alex didn't even
go for the monkey.

How am I gonna get her back?

I've tried every--

Yow! What the hell
happened to you?

Brian, Brian--

Did you see this?
If your barber did that to you,

you really got
a lawsuit coming.

Boy, you get that head
in front of a jury

you're gonna make a fortune.

Brian, this is Mr. Thompson

from down at the bank.

He's here about our loan.

Look, I, uh-- I just
had these hair plugs put in.

Really, it's hardly noticeable.

Anyway, uh,
back to business.

I notice here
in the third quarter

the profits seem
a little down.

Oh, yeah, I know.

I know that things look
a little spotty right now

but I think in a few months
you'll see a lot of new growth.

Joe, I really need
to talk to you about Davis--

Holy mackerel!

Helen, Helen...
What happened to your head?

Helen, this is Mr. Thompson

from the bank.

I-I just had hair
plugs put in.

Oh, honey, you didn't
get 'em done

down at the mall,
did you?

Look, I think I can
take this paperwork

back to the office.

Oh, no, no, no, listen.
Mr. Thompson, please, uh--

You can stay here,
I will make sure no one

says anything else
about your head.

Joe, I think I know
what the problem is.

Bad plugs.

Uh, look, Mr. Thompson,
I'm very sorry.

He was talking about--

Don't worry about it.
I have everything I need

to present to
the loan committee.

Actually, they're
meeting today,

so why don't you stop
to my office sometime after 4.

I should have an answer for you.

Great, okay,
I'll see you then.

Hey, Sox fan, huh?

All right,
I have hair plugs!

Okay?

Really?

They're hardly noticeable.

Thanks a lot, Antonio.

Well, that couldn't
have gone any worse.

I'm sorry, Joe,
I didn't mean to barge in.

It's just that I really
need to talk to you.

Last weekend,

Davis was acting
so weird.

And I haven't
heard from him since.

What do you think
it could be?

Am I too demanding?

Or maybe, maybe--

Maybe I'm boring.

No, look, Helen, you're
just being too hard on yourself.

Yeah, you just probably
put on some weight.

Brian, we need to talk.

Oh, great, great.

That's all I really
want to do with you.

I just wanna sit down
and talk, you know.

And I think that once
we get back together

we'll be better than ever.

Oh, but...

...you wanted to be the one
to say it, didn't you?

I'm sorry, go ahead.

Phone bill came.

Send me a check.

Alex?

Baby?

So, uh, how'd it go
with Mr. Thompson?

Oh, horrible.

But I'm trying
to be optimistic.

One way or another

I am going to get
a second plane.

Oh, wise up, Hackett.

Nobody's gonna
give you a loan.

You're always gonna
be the same crappy little

one-plane operation
you've always been.

Oh, Roy.

Don't be
so negative.

Just because every other bank
has turned him down

and sure,
none of his relatives

will answer his
phone calls anymore

and sure, he's asked practically
everyone he knows for money

but that doesn't--

Don't look at me,
I've got one lousy T-bill

and it's gotta last.

Hey, Joe.

What's this rumor
I hear there's a--

There's a new plane
on the way?

Oh, yeah, look--

Why is it the mechanic
is always the last to know?

Do you know
how difficult it is

to care for a new plane?

Lowell, I was--

Staying up all night

whenever the fuel line
is clogged,

getting up at 3 a.m.
to change it's oil.

Worrying every time

it spits up
God knows what--

Lowell, I was going
to tell you--

Now that I have one
up and running

I was hoping to have
a little time for me.

A little me-time, Joe.

Maybe travel,

take up watercolors.

But no.

No, now I have to--

Look, Lowell, I was--

Don't...touch me.

( upbeat theme playing )

( upbeat theme playing )

Well, I'll see
you later, Helen.

Oh, I almost forgot.
While you were out,

Davis called.

He did? What did he say?

He said he's flying here
to see you.

He did?

Why?

Beats me, he didn't say.

Gotta go.

Well, wait, something
must be wrong.

Uh, he doesn't come here
in the middle of the week.

Oh, my gosh,
it must be important.

Well, what were
his exact words?

Uh, okay, okay,
let me see...

Well, first he said, uh--

"Hi, Lowell."

He thought I was Lowell.

Uh, and then he said, uh--

"Tell Helen
I will be coming

to the island to see her.

Got that?"

Yes, I've got that.

No, no, that's what he said.
"Got that?"

And I said,

"Yes, got that."

Then I hung up
and had a cookie.

Dammit.

Don't worry, I put 50
cents on the counter.

I knew it.

He's coming here
to break up with me

I can just feel it.

Oh, God, I'm about
to get dumped.

Helen, Helen,
you don't know that.

Yeah, but you do,
don't you?

You know something,
don't you?

He told you something,
didn't he?

No, he didn't tell me anything--

Yes, he did. I know how
you guys all stick together.

Why are you protecting him?
Just tell me what he said.

Helen, I swear,
he did--

Tell me what he said!

I don't know anything.

Get your hands off me

or I'll use my pepper spray.

( upbeat theme playing )

Come on, we're gonna be late
for our meeting at the bank.

Joe, cover me,
cover me, will ya?

I'm just too bummed out
about Alex to go.

Oh, look at her.
Look at her, will you?

Oh, I gotta
get her back somehow.

I'll do anything.
You got any advise?

Yeah. Give it up.

Brian, look, look,

it's over.

You gotta accept that.

Quit now, while you
still have

a little shred of dignity.

Attention,
Sandpiper passengers.

Today's 5:30 flight
to Boston is--

Wait, w-w-w-w...

Could I just borrow this
for one second?

Just one second.

( clears throat )

This is for that little lady

sitting right over there.

( stutters )

Alex

Hey, it's me

Brian

I'm not lyin'

When I tell you I'm cryin'

My heart is...

Fryin'

Whatever you're sellin'
I'm buyin'

'Cause inside I'm dyin'

You're dyin' out here too, pal.

So, Alex

I just found out

That nothing rhymes

With Alex

Except for maybe

No nothing rhymes
With Alex

So please

Please come back to me

( applause )

Brian,

that you would do this--

That you would

embarrass and humiliate yourself

and in front of
all these people...

Well...

...it tells me something.

( gasps )

You're an even bigger idiot
than I thought.

One more time

( upbeat theme playing )

( whistling )

Oh, hey, Roy?
Mmm.

Um, is Davis listed on
any of your New York flights?

Oh, come on, Chapel.

You know I can't give out
the names of my passengers.

Ever hear of FAA regulations?

You ever hear of
having your lip waxed

with hot bacon fat?

You know, Chapel,
another time, another place,

this would be foreplay.

Hi.

Hi, Davis.

Yeah, Antonio told me
that you were coming.

It's good to see you.

Yeah, it's good
to see you too.

What are you doing here
and why do you have a golf club?

Well, I was playing golf
in Florida with some clients--

Oh, I was playing horribly.

I couldn't hit a drive,
I couldn't sink a putt.

When I thought they'd break
right, they broke left.

When I thought
they'd break left--

They broke right,
yeah, I get it.

Well, anyway,

on this one hole,
I hit into a trap.

A trap so deep

I thought
I'd never get out.

That made me think of you.

Thank you, Davis.

Well, I knew right then and
there that I had to see you.

So I walked right off
the course,

took a cab to the airport,

chartered a jet
and flew straight here.

Helen,

we can't go on like this.

Here it comes.

The time we've spent
together has been great.

But it's just
not enough anymore.

That's right. Living
in two different cities

trying to keep
a relationship together

is k*lling us, so...

...I think I know
what we should do.

Yeah, so do I.

You do?

Course I do.
I'm way ahead of you, Davis.

Oh, boy, that makes this
so much easier.

Just say it!

Helen, I think
we ought to get married.

It's just typical
of the--

What?

I want you to marry me.

Um, what?

Are you gonna make me
say this again?

Yeah, I think I definitely
need to hear that

one more time.

Helen...

...will you marry me?

( crying ):
Yes.

( dramatic theme playing )

( upbeat theme playing )

Oh, my God. I can't believe
I'm getting married.

I never want us
to spend a moment apart

for the rest of our lives.

Well, gotta go.

What?

I know this is crazy
but I just left

three very confused clients
on the 13th green.

I gotta fly down there
and smooth things over.

Meet me in New York tonight
and we'll start celebrating.

Okay. I'll be there.

Wait a second,

I didn't even
get you a ring.

Oh, pfff--

I don't need a ring.

Yet.

No, no, I-I-I'm supposed
to give you something.

Here.

A golf ball.

It was my grandmother's.

Bye.
Ohh...

( giddy laugh )

Hello?

Anybody?

Um, something
just happened here.

( screams ):
Hey!

What's a matter?
What's wrong?

You won't believe
what just happened.

What?
All right, let me try.

You just got a phone call
and you found out

you were switched at birth.

And your birth parents
are circus people.

Now, I don't know what they do
but I think it involves

big floppy shoes
and a seltzer bottle.

No.

Davis just asked me
to marry him.

( laughs ):
You expect us

to believe that one?

No, it's true.

He was golfing
in Florida.

He got caught in a trap
and he thought of me.

So he chartered a jet,

came down here
and proposed.

Hey, if you don't
believe me, look.

What was that
circus thing again?

Helen?

I just have to make sure--

You did say yes, right?

Yes!

Great, I'll see you tonight.

Hey,
You're gonna love her family.

They're circus people.

( laughter )

Helen, Helen,
I am so happy for you.

I'm glad somebody's
relationship is working out.

Ah, well, originally I thought
it would be me and Alex

but if it can't be me--

Well, why can't it be me?

Brian, this is my moment.

Sorry, sorry.

Chapel, Chapel,
word of advice.

He is rich.

Don't let him sucker you
into a prenup.

That way when he dumps you,

you can bleed him dry.

Roy, I am not gonna need

a prenuptial agreement.

I think New York is
a community property state.

Let's see,
I've gotta pack,

uh, and get to New York.

Oh, Roy?
Yeah.

Um, I need a ticket
on your last flight to New York.

Oh, Chapel,

put your money away.

Gosh, thank you, Roy.

I'll bill you.

Hey, Alex!

Well--

What was that all about?

Oh, uh--

Lynch just asked Helen
to marry him.

Oh, that's great.

No wonder she's so happy.

You-- You--

You can be that
happy too, you know.

If Lynch asked me
to marry him, I would be.

Oh, come on!

Alex, this is insane.

We belong together.

So why don't I
just come over tonight.

and bring a bottle of wine--

Brian, when are you gonna
get it through your head?

No matter how many cute
little gimmicks you try,

we're not gonna
get back together.

It's over.

Okay.

Fine.

Fine. It's over.

'Cause I've had
enough humiliation

to last me a lifetime.
I'm done.

Oh, good.

The Cupid-gram.

She's gonna love this,
she's right this way.

Nice wings.

Oh, hey, Lowell.

You'll never guess
what just happened.

Oh, I'm way ahead
of you, Joe.

It's-- It's quite wonderful.

Uh, oh, wow.

Wow, news sure
travels fast.

I only left the bank
ten minutes ago.

They know down at the bank?

Well, yeah, of course.

They're the ones
that made the decision.

The bank was involved?

Yeah.

Uh, we're not talking about
the same thing, are we?

Joe, try to keep up here.

We're talking about Helen and
Lynch. They're getting married.

What?

I think I said that
pretty clearly.

Helen and Lynch

are getting married?

Joe, I think
I've gotten to the root

of our communication
problem.

You just don't listen.

( upbeat theme playing )

( knocking )

Come on in.

Oh, oh, my God.

I just heard.
Oh, I'm thrilled for you.

I can't believe
I'm getting married, Joe.

Did you tell your mom yet?

She must've gone nuts.

Oh, I called her
but no one was home.

So I left this message;

"Hi, Mom, it's Helen,"

( screams ):
"Call me!"

Well, I gotta pack,

I'm going to New York.

I gotta get ready.

I'll let you
get back to that, okay?

Okay.
Bye.

Bye.

Oh, Joe?

Um, listen, thanks
for coming by.

I really appreciate it.

Come on, I couldn't
not come by.

Well, I should go.

Okay, 'cause
I'm gonna pack.

All right.
Okay.

Bye.
Bye.

Oh, oh, my God, Helen,

uh-- I almost forgot.

You know, you're not the only
person with good news today.

You got the loan?

I got the loan!

You got the loan?
I got it. I got it.

Oh, my gosh.
Isn't it incredible?

How our lives just
worked out so perfectly

and both on the same day?

I know, it's like
we go along

from one boring day
to the next

and then suddenly--
Wham;

everything
just clicks.

Well, um...

I'm gonna go.

Okay, yeah,
I'm gonna pack.

'Kay. Bye.

Bye, Joe.

Joe!

Yeah?

I just had
this great idea.

You could be my best man.

Um...

Helen, I think
that it would be

traditional for Davis
to choose the best man.

Oh, yeah.

Um, well, you could be
my maid of honor.

Are you kidding me?

Spend 200 bucks
on an ugly purples dress

that I only wear once?

You know, you are
my best friend.

Promise me that
when I get married

that that will
never change.

Oh, come on.

After all we've
been through together.

We've known each other
since we were kids.

We're best friends.

For a while there,
we were considerably

more than friends.

We're not gonna let
a silly thing

like a husband
come between us.

( chuckles )

Hey, come on,
let's make a pact.

Oh, you remember.

Of course I remember.

Well, um...

I'll let you pack.

Yeah, I gotta
go to New York.

Yeah. Bye.

Bye.

Listen, Helen, um...

I just-- I just wanna say,
congratulations again.

You know, I'm sure that you
and Davis will be really happy.

Yeah, sure.

I--

I think that I really
picked the right man.

Mm-hm.

( phone rings )

( ringing continues )

Uh, that's probably
your mom.

Yeah, I got
to get that.

Yeah.

Yeah, well, um...

Yeah, okay.

Hello.

Hey, Momma.

( laughs )

You're not gonna believe
what happened today.

Davis asked me to marry him
and I said yes.

( giggles )

Uh-huh...

( dramatic theme playing )

( door opens )

It's all over, Joey.
It's just--

It's all over.

Uh--

Hey, Brian, um, whatever it is,

can we talk about it tomorrow?

( moans )

I just tried everything
I could think of

to get her back, you know.

The Cupid thing
didn't work,

I even hired somebody
to skywrite:

"Brian loves Alex."

My luck, ran out
of smoke and wrote,

"Brian loves Al."

Hey, uh...

Brian, come on, I'm tired.

What am I gonna do?

I just made a big,
big mistake

letting Alex get away.

Well, I...

I guess it's true what
they say, you know,

once you break up
with somebody

you can never get
back together, huh?

Huh?

Oh, come on, Joey,

talk to me.

Yow!

Weren't you supposed to get--?

When did you two--?

Joe, is there something
you'd like to say to me?

We got the loan.

( upbeat theme playing )

( upbeat theme playing )
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