01x01 - Episode 1

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Tourist". Aired: January 1, 2022 -present.
A man wakes up in the Australian outback with no memory, he must use the few clues he has to discover his identity before his past catches up with him.
Post Reply

01x01 - Episode 1

Post by bunniefuu »



Do you have a toilet that I could use? You need to sign for it.

Need to what? Sign for it.

No, it's hardly like I want to buy it.

Yeah, well, toilet's in a building out the back.

So most people, they take the key, they walk out, and then they forget to bring it back.

And then they drive God knows where with it, so Okay, so how does signing for it actually help? 'Cause I could still sign for it and then still take the key away and forget.

Out the front, around the back.










- She got Bette Davis eyes And she'll tease you, she'll unease you All the better just to please you She's precocious, and she knows just what it Takes to make a pro blush She got Greta Garbo standoff sighs She's got Bette Davis eyes [TRUCK HORN BLARES]

She'll let you take her home It whets her appetite She'll lay you on [TRUCK HORN BLARING]













Yes! Whoo-hoo! [SIGHS]










You're awake.

You're in Cooper Springs Hospital.

You were in a car crash.

You're okay.

Is there anyone we can call? Cops couldn't find any ID or phone in the wreckage.

Parent, partner, friend? Pet? [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]


It's a lot to take in, I know.

Let's start with your name.

What's your name? Sir, can you tell me your name? [SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]



The MRI takes about 15 minutes, and it's loud.

A lot of buzzing, lot of clicking.

Stay still as you can, okay? - Yeah.

- You like some music on? I got my phone hooked up here.

No, I'm fine.


"If I Didn't Care.

" Play that.


Is that an album or a song? I I don't know.

Okay, top h*t, it's a song.

Band called The Ink Spots.

That the one? I, uh [LAUGHS]

I don't know.

Want me to play it? Sure.




More than words can say [SOLEMN ACOUSTIC MUSIC]

Ooh! Is this him? [KNOCKS]


How you goin'? Hi.

I'm I'm a probationary constable with the Cooper Springs Police Department.

Helen Chambers.

Here to take a statement.

Telling the truth, it's my first proper investigation.

Although it's not technically my investigation 'cause most of my experience has been in traffic.

Uh, anyroad [CHUCKLES]

Can I get your name, date of birth, and home address? Yeah, um I have no idea.

- Huh? - I don't remember anything.

- About about the accident? - About anything.


I oh.


Um, so you wouldn't be able to tell me - how you came off the road there? - No.


And I guess you wouldn't be able to tell me where you were going.

So I suppose you You couldn't tell me if there are any friends or family that I can - Nope.

- Yeah, right.


So just to clarify then, like, nothing? Mm.

No, I keep telling myself to just try and remember, you know? But it's it's like trying to make yourself fly.

No no matter No matter how much you think you're gonna be able to do it, you still just end up a bloody bag of bones and shit and f*ck' intestines.


Tell you what, though, I mean, you must be scared.

I'm sorry.

Well, okay, so what do we know? Well sorry, pen.


Okay, so what do we know? Um, you know you were in a car accident, right? - Yeah.

- Yeah, so Sorry to interrupt.

We finally tracked these down.

They're the clothes you had on when we picked you up.

- Thank you.

- Thanks.

We don't know how your car came off the road, and local cops didn't find anything at the scene, but I've asked them to take another look just in case.

And aside from that, we know that your plates were registered to a Jessica Smith.

She remembers you buying it in cash a week or so ago.

It was in person, right off the street.

So, I mean, she's no use.


What is it? You know this place? Uh, yeah.

It's it's a little town about 50k north of here.

Is it ringing any bells? No.

You know, it's tomorrow.

Well, 25th today, so whoever you're meeting, it's tomorrow.

Unless it's from last month.

Or could be next month, yeah.

Could be any month, come to think of it.

- Right.

- Most likely not, though, 'cause when I saw that just now, I thought, "That is a meeting that is most definitely tomorrow.

" Probably.

You know what? I can send someone up there to check it out.

Go on.

You can just you know, you can say it.


What's that now? Whatever it is you're thinking but too scared to say.

You can see how this looks, right? A bloke driving through the middle of the outback with no phone, no wallet, no memory, and all that remains is a piece of paper.

So you're saying I'm lying? No, no, no, no.

I I'm sorry.

I can't imagine how that feels.

I I find it hard when I forget to take the bins out, so Okay.

Um, can I take your photograph? It I can get it out there to the ABF and the AFP, and we'll figure it out.

- Yeah.

- Okay.

Just get in.

Oh, well Well, it's right up there.

- Yeah.

- That's close.


Look I don't know if you're a glass-half-full kind of guy or a glass-half-empty, but something's gonna come up.

We'll find out who you are.

This page is gonna be full in no time.


Welcome to the delicious world of Ronny's.

How can I help you? Oh, can I get a chicken burger? - Just a chicken burger? - Uh, yeah, that'll do.

We've got a promotion on.

Add a dollar to try our cheese pockets? - Your what? - Cheese pockets.

Mixed cheese coated in breadcrumbs.

They're crispy, come with barbecue sauce.

Um, no, I'm fine.

All right then, one chicken burger.

That'll be $4.


Come through to the window.

Actually, yeah, yeah.

I'll try 'em, the pockets.





Hey, chief.

What you doing? I just need to get some fresh air.

Walking isn't a good idea with your ankle how it is.

What you need is rest.

Yeah, what I need is to not be looking at that ceiling anymore.

So here we are.

Everything you hoped for? Well, I'm not missing the ceiling, if that's what you mean.


Oh, crap.

I've got to go.

Will you be all right getting back yourself? No problem.


- Congratulations.


- Here we go.

- Oh no, here's trouble.





- What floor? - Uh, two.

I mean, three.

I think.

- Which one is it? - Sorry.

Someone else brought me down.

Um, it's three.







Hey, you all right there, mate? I don't know where I am.

I don't know where the f*ck I am.

Okay, okay, mate.

Calm down.

Just take it easy.

All right? You'll be all right.

Come on.

You'll be all right? Yeah.



Hey! Hello, lady! You hungry? Uh, yeah.

I could eat.

I got us avocado and roast beetroot.

The king and queen of the vegetable world.

- Sounds great.

- No, it doesn't.

But it's good.

It'll be good for us.

- Yeah.

- Um, hey.

We got about 20 minutes till she's ready for consumption.

- We could, uh - [BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYS]

Oh, now? I just walked in.

Our wedding is in nine weeks, and the first dance is not gonna first dance itself.

Now come to Swayze.

- Ooh, sorry.

- And - And - So how was your day? Did that training officer decide to finally show up? No, I had to go to the hospital, take a statement solo.

This guy was in a car crash, and he woke up with, like, no memory of who he is.

He can't remember anything.

Seriously? This bloke doesn't even know if he's got any family out there looking for him.

- Honey - Hmm? If we both woke up tomorrow with no memory of each other, you reckon we'd still get together? Of course I do.

Five years, though.

Five years ago, I was pretty.


And you will be again.

Now, come on, let's give it another go from the top.

See if we can make it to the lift this time.







Can anyone hear me? Help me! [BANGING]


Help me! Simple matter.

I'm just telling you I have to go.

If you leave now, you're going - to injure yourself again.

- Yeah.

And if I do, I'll just go to the nearest hospital and The doctor said he wanted to keep you.

I know what he said, but I can't just sit here.


Is is everything okay? He wants to sign out against medical advice.

Can you please talk some sense into him? She's right.

You can't just leave.

Or what? You're gonna stop me? You've just been in a car accident.

I I've been I've been lying here, waiting for what? I have nothing.

I have no name, no home, no clothes.

The ones they've given me probably belong to a d*ad guy.

You can't just go waltzing into the limbo of the red earth with nothing but a piece of paper in your hand and expect things to go well for you.

It's all I have.

The note said 2:30 today.

Whoever I'm meeting can tell me who I am.

- Here.

- No, no, no.

- You don't have to do that.

- Oh, well, how else did you plan on getting to Burnt Ridge? You gonna walk there? Thank you, Helen.

You really don't have to do this.

Yeah, well, you won't take no, and it's no skin off to be decent, is it? I put my calling card in there, so you can call me whenever, seeing as how I'm the only person you know in the whole wide world and all.

I hope you find what you're looking for.

- Thank you.

- Yeah.


Burnt Ridge.



- Come on in.

- You open? Well, that's not good for business, is it? Take your pick, sweetheart.

I'd like to sit at table number five, if that's okay.

I'm meant to be meeting someone here, and they said table five.


Over by the window there, near the corner.

Love your accent.

What brings you all the way out here? If I told you, I don't think you'd believe me.


Oh, I've heard some things.

End up working in a place like this, you hear all sorts.

Go on.

Try me.

Bloke out there reckons he's lost his memory.

- Like, completely.

- For real? He bashed his melon in a car crash.

Now he doesn't know who he is, where he's from.

Woke up with a note in his pocket saying to come here today.

I mean, he's either two sausages short of a breakfast or he's having a laugh.

Either way, I would.




Thanks, Pablo.




Stop it.

You're gonna creep the poor bugger out.

Go and take him his drink.

Hey, how you goin'? I'll be your waitress today.

Name's Luci.

With an "I.

" Hey.

So I just heard the weirdest thing I've heard in a long time.

Yeah, okay, your Your colleague told you, then? Oh, my God.

You're actually being serious, aren't you? What about your name? You don't remember your name? - No.

- Whoa.

You know, this isn't a a joke, all right? - Sorry, I didn't mean to - No, it's doesn't matter.

I've never met anyone with amnesia before.

Is there anything that I can do or Um, you could start by giving me the lemonade.

Oh, yeah, sorry.

Oh! - Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

- No, it's okay.

- Oh, f*ck, I'm sorry.

- It was my fault.

No, no, here, let me I'll go I'm just gonna go and clean up.


Oh, no, sorry.

Our toilets, they're screwed at the moment.

We're we're actually using the ones over the road.

I can I can show you.

- No, it's fine.

- No, it's all right.

I'm so sorry.

The old couple across the road are letting us use their toilets whilst ours are down.

That's really going the extra mile community-spirit-wise, isn't it? Letting strangers defecate on your property.

Oh, well, you know, they get two free meals a day.

That's a fair trade.

Hey, um, I didn't mean to laugh at you back there.

I've just got this awkward thing I do when I'm nervous.



f*ck, Sandy.

Sandy! I'm here.




I'm Helen, the one who really doesn't want to do this bit.


I mean, it's hard, right? Like, double hard these days 'cause people are saying, "It's okay to be bigger.

It's time to own it.

"Love your lard.


But they don't mean it, do they? No, that was a genuine question.


So now I feel this pressure to, you know, be in love with the fat bits on my body, which I don't actually love, and if I don't own it and "love the lard," then, well, I'm not a real woman, am I? [SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

It's, like, embarrassing to lose the weight 'cause then I've given in.


I can't win.

It's like I'm on a highway going 80, and that's the minimum speed limit, but there are just road bumps everywhere.


Or maybe it's just a hell of a way to talk myself into a big ol' plate of sausages.



- Thank you.

- Wasn't so hard, was it?, hey? All right, so it's been a few weeks since we all shared our favourite low-cal recipe.

How was it? I think, you know, first go, you'll get used to it.

I'm especially keen to hear how you've all been going with our vegetable of the month.

How have you been cooking the beautiful beetroot? - Sally, let's start with you.


If it's anything like your mint and cottage cheese stuffed zucchinis, I'm all ears.


- Um, Helen Chambers speaking.

- Hey.

This is Sergeant Lammon from the Burnt Ridge Police Force.

I was told that you're the detective I should call.

Oh, well, uh, I'm not actually a but, yeah, I'm sort of running with this one.

- Are you at the crash site? - Yeah.

There's there's not a whole lot here, I'm afraid.


So no wallet, or phone? - Nothing at all? - No.

Just one thing away from where the crash happened.

We reckon it must've rolled out the car.

Well, what is it? Something that sh**t but never kills.

What? Like a potato g*n? [INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

What are you thinking about? Either I have the worst luck in the world or someone's trying to k*ll me.

To be fair, I think having the worst luck in the world would be someone trying to k*ll you.

That's a good point.

I'm already wearing a d*ad man's clothes, so I've come prepared.

- Here you go, guys.

- Cheers.

Thank you.

Why would somebody want me d*ad? Oh, f*ck me, that's lovely.

Hope I didn't used to be an alcoholic.





Is this it? There's only two places to stay in this town, and the other one's best avoided for hygiene reasons.


Plus, it's It's pretty low odds these two are trying to k*ll you.

- Cheers.

- No worries.



Um I'm looking for a a place to stay.

Hi, come in.

Come in.

I was just saying to your man there that I'm looking for a room.

I'm afraid I don't have much.

Oh, don't worry about Ralphie.

He can't hear a thing.

Could do, mind, if he actually had half a brain cell - and put his hearing aid in! - I'm sorry.

- I I don't mean to - Don't you worry about a thing.

He's just being a disappointment.

Um, smallest room's $30, if that suits? Yeah.

Hey, why don't we just call it 20? Thank you.

Not like we're busy anyway.

I'll get you a key so you can come and go.

We want you to feel at home here, all right? That's how we do things out here.

There you go, Ralph.

Ah, we could have a cuppa and watch "Australian Survivor" if you like; they're in Tribal Council.

I reckon Pete's gonna get the heave-ho tonight for being a big ol' shit, but they like to mix it up sometimes, don't they? You all right? I'm fine.

You don't look fine.

You look like you could use a hug.

Oh, no.

Don't worry.

I'm really I've been around long enough to know when someone's going through the wringer.

You'll be okay.

You're safe here.



It's been a long day.

Jesus, so embarrassing.


You don't need to explain.






f*ck! Shit! - - [PHONE RINGING]



Someone's on the phone for you.


Oh, there, phone.

- Hello? - Found you! Not that it was hard.


Only two places to stay in Burnt Ridge.

It's me, by the way.

Your, uh, only friend in the whole world.


- You remembered my name! - Course.

I bet you can't remember mine, though, huh? [STAMMERS]

Sorry, that that was - Weird.

- No, right, 'cause you don't have one.

Hey, how was your meeting? The note? Uh, yeah.

They they didn't show up.

Ah, crackers.


Not a pork sausage on this end either in terms of identifying you, but I did have the locals re-check the crash site, and they did find something.

Something that, uh, "sh**t but never kills," is what the fella said.

Like a potato g*n? That is so weird, because that's what Uh, never mind.

Uh, no, a camera.

Disposable one.

And they think it's mine? Gotta be, out on the back of beyond like that.

Listen, we had the photos developed and scanned.

I can email them over if you'd like.

I don't have an email address.

Well, not that I can remember anyway.

I mean, I can Hey, here you go, love.

Thank you.

Um, actually, you know, hold on.

If you could send them to Sue@BLodge.


au, that would be great.


Okay, yeah.

Take a look and see if it knocks something loose for you.

And no worries if not.

I will find out what your name is.

Anyway, um, I'll email the pictures now.

You take care.

What are you doing at my desk? Oh, well, I don't have a desk yet, so I just thought But I can leave.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.


Sorry about that.

Ralph's a bit of a magpie.

Okay, there it is.

There you go.


The Nala Stone Men.

Maybe that's why you're here.

- Excuse me? - The Nala Stone Men.

They are beautiful.

Better in person.

What is this? Is this close? Uh, 10k from here, love.

- I need to go.

- Be closed now.

I just need to get there.

I can take you in the morning, if you like.


Meantime, how about that cuppa? Can watch the end of "Survivor.

" I'll bring you up to scratch, 'cause Nathan just Yeah, I'm really tired, but I you know what? Um, yeah, sure.

Why don't we watch the "Survivor"? So tonight, as you all know, you have to vote someone out.


Excuse me, miss.

You couldn't help me with something, could you? Sure.

I heard there was a man brought in in an accident out near Burnt Ridge.

Um, the guy who didn't know his name? You know which room he's in? I called before, and they said he was around here, but Oh, he discharged himself yesterday.

He's gone, but now you're here.

Maybe you can help tell us who he is.

- Guy's lost his memory.

- Where'd he go? If you'd like to leave your name and number, I could pass on your details.

He didn't say where he was going? - Sir, if you just - Never mind.

You've been a great help.

You know, my mother was a nurse.

It's fine work you people do.

It's fine work.




Swallowed my ticket.

Oh, it's playing silly buggers at the mo.

I'll have to lift it up.

- Appreciate it.

- No, it's no bother.

You know, my mother worked in a parking lot.

It's fine work you people do.

It's fine work.




Hot, dry, and gusty conditions are likely to lead to elevated f*re dangers Oof.


I'm sorry.

It's a habit, I guess.

Remember to stay up to date with the latest forecast and warnings for your location on our website, on our social media pages, or by tuning into our daily updates.

That's it from the weather then.

Back to you, Miranda.

Thanks, Jim.

Here's the headlines again.

Major Crimes investigators have been sent to the small town of Burnt Ridge after an expl*si*n there turned out to have been caused by a b*mb.

There were no causalities.

We'll bring you more on that story as it develops.

A 67-year-old man from Georgetown A b*mb? Jeez, that's a turn-up.


That's one way of looking at it.

This bringing anything back? No, I kind of thought that maybe I would I don't know.

There'd be something that would help me remember.

What now? Now now I have no idea.


Hey, does that thing work? Uh, sure.

And you still have the recordings? - Mate, who are you? - Yeah.

I need to I need to see the footage.

Anything you have from before three days ago.

Why? We don't just give that to anyone.

Just show the man what he needs to see.

This fella here was in a major car crash.

Doesn't remember a bloody thing.

Doesn't even know who he is from Adam.

I know I was in here before the accident.

I'm hoping there's something on that camera that can help me to explain why.

Anyone I was with, anyone I was seen talking to.

You? - You've got, like, amnesia? - Yeah.

Mate! [LAUGHS]

That is awesome! - Yeah, it's really not.

- It's all on a hard drive.

Should still be on here.

Oh, yeah.

When am I looking at? Um, let's go back to the date of the crash, so 24th.


This is so exciting.

Right, okay.

Here we go.


Uh, what the hell am I What happened to my shirt? I look terrible.

Why am I buying a fluffy koala? I can tell you what you're saying.

Ralphie will lip-read it for you.

Uh, right.

Yeah, okay.

You're asking where the nearest servo is.

She's giving directions [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

To the Saddlepack Roadhouse.

Well, thanks.

Saddlepack's just down the road from here.

Yeah, here he is.



- You know me? - No, don't know you, mate.

No, but I mean, we've met? Sorry, I I have trouble with my memory.

You were in here a few days ago.

You got some petrol, then you signed for the toilet key.

Why would you why would you have to sign for the toilet key? - Are you serious? - I don't know, it's just like It's not like people are trying to buy it.

Hold on, you you So you're saying that You're saying I signed for it? I signed my name? Can I see that? [SIGHS]

Like I said, Mr.


- - Comedian, right.

Hold on, so, um So I signed my name and then what? Tell me.

You went to the toilet.



Can I? - You'll bring it back, yeah? - Yeah.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Out front, around the back.







If I didn't care More than words can say If I didn't care [PHONE RINGING]


- Hello? - Oh, oh, oh! Oh! - Hello? - Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man.

Thank f*cking God! Thank f*cking God! You have to help me.

Please, help me.


Who is this?
Post Reply