06x16 - Remembrance of Flings Past: Part 1

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Wings". Aired: April 19, 1990, to May 21, 1997.*
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Two brothers, Joe and Brian Hackett, run a one-plane commuter service from a small Nantucket airport.
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06x16 - Remembrance of Flings Past: Part 1

Post by bunniefuu »

( upbeat piano theme playing )

Look, guys, check this out.

Oh, well,
now you've done it.

Once you unfold
those parachutes

they're impossible
to stuff back in.

No.

This is
the size 20 dress

that I wore
to my senior prom,

as opposed to this

slinky little size four

that I'm wearing
to my high school reunion.

Oh, that's very sexy.
Thanks.

It'll be the first
time they see me in a dress

where the slit
was intentional.

Well, I gotta run it to
the tailor's and get it hemmed.

Well, why are you taking
your old prom dress?

I figure as long as
I'm going to the tailor's,

I can make curtains
out of it.

I've seen her house.

It doesn't have
that many windows.

( upbeat theme playing )

Yes, can you squeeze me
in for a manicure

Friday at 4:00?

N-no, no, 5 is no good.

I have a facial at 5.

But you don't understand.

This is my reunion.

Well, who's got the 4:00?

Lowell, can I have your 4:00
manicure appointment?

Yeah, like I'm gonna
go to the reunion

with these ragged cuticles.

Thanks a lot.

Just to show you
I'm not completely heartless,

you can have
my 6:00 pedicure.

So you're the one who got it.

Great. Now I've got to
find another manicurist.

Helen, w-why are you so worried
about how you look?

You're just going to see some
old friends from high school.

I wouldn't exactly
call them friends.

I mean, those people put me
through living hell

for four long,
tortured years.

I can't wait to see 'em.

What?

Well, I'm thin,
I'm happy,

and I'm gonna walk in
with the best-looking guy

in the whole school.

Helen? Helen?

Yeah.

Do you, uh,
notice this zit on my face?

( screams )

Damn.

All through high school
I had perfect skin,

and now two days before
the reunion I get this--

Volcano?

Blemish. I don't believe it.

How do you
think I feel?

I gotta walk in there
with that thing

on your nose
on my arm.

I've got something
in my purse

that will cover that
right up.

( scoffs ):
Forget it, Fay.

I am not wearing makeup.

Oh, no way
will makeup cover that.

I was talking
about a scarf.

Okey-dokey.
All right.

Hey-hey, what are you--?

Duh!
What?

Aren't you gonna introduce me
to your friend?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, uh,
I just got off the phone

with the reunion
coordinator, right?

Guess who's coming back?

Sara.

Oh, Sara.
Well, hmm.

Yeah, you guys
were quite a couple.

You know, in high school
I really thought

you two were
gonna get married.

Yeah, everybody did:
you, Helen,

all those other girls
I was seeing.

You're not thinking
of starting things up

again with her, are you?

I don't know. Maybe.

I mean, who knows,
after everything

that's been
happening to me lately.

Losing Alex and all.

I think I might be ready
to have a serious relationship.

Brian, how do you know
she's not already married?

( scoffs )

You see, you--
You always look at

the dark side of things, man.

You should be
more of an optimist.

Even if she did get married,

maybe she's divorced now,

or, God willing,
her husband's dead...

What are you doing?
This thing is so damn big,

even I can see it.

W-would you please
just forget about--?

For the time being,
let's name it Jerry?

Hey, Joe, uh,

can you sign
this requisition, please?

Aren't you gonna say
anything about my nose, Lowell?

What's wrong with your nose?

Oh, n--
Uh, nothing. Forget it.

Oh. Thanks.

Well, you were right, Fay.
That's one humongous zit.

( upbeat theme playing )

ROY:
Hey, Mather,

when are you gonna
change the oil in plane six?

Oh, didn't I do that?

Gee, I'm sorry, Roy.

You know, I've been
really distracted.

There's somebody
very special coming in.

The man who made me
what I am today.

I thought that obstetrician

wasn't allowed
back in the states.

No, Dr. Frank
is still in Guatemala.

Actually, I was talking
about Mr. Conley,

my high school Shop teacher.

Although I hardly
do him justice

by calling him
a mere Shop teacher.

He was a true Renaissance man.

He also taught Drivers' Ed.

Yeah, he gave me
this wrench.

He inscribed it himself.

"The man who
cannot see beauty

"in an engine

will never see beauty
in the universe."

He was-- He was
quite a genius.

He spelled engine
with a J.

Uh, Helen,

let me ask you something.

How is it that everybody's
going to the same reunion?

Didn't--? Didn't you all
graduate in different years?

Oh, well,
it was a small school,

so we have a reunion
for five classes

at the same time.

Oh, so conceivably,

people m-might not notice

if someone was there

who they didn't
immediately recognize,

like, say, Antonio,

cute little Italian
foreign exchange student?

Why would you
wanna go to our reunion?

Because I'm a lonely, lonely,

lonely, lonely man.

Can't be that bad.

Oh, no?

Let me give you a little hint.

Most of my evenings

involve a flashlight
and some very strange

shadow puppets.

Oh, Casey, before I forget,

I picked you up
a reunion ticket.

There you go.
Oh, thanks, but...

No, thanks. I'm not going.

Why? Why not?

Well, I'm not exactly at
the high point of my life.

And the last thing I need

is everybody
getting a good laugh

over what happened
to the former prom queen.

What are you gonna do,
stay in bed

and hide under the covers?

Throw in a quart of tequila
and a straw,

and that's
pretty much my night.

Okay, okay.
I get the point.

You're alone,
you're depressed.

What you need is
to stroll into that reunion

with a pretty boy on your arm.

What time do you
want me to pick you up?

Well, let's say 8-ish.

That ought to give me time
to fly in Dr. Kevorkian.

Hey, Joey...about your zit.

( sighs )
Your troubles are over, man.

I found the perfect solution.

Really? What?

This.

You know, that--
That's very cute.

Oh, oh, oh, Brian.

Ahem. Brian.
What? What, what?

Ah!

Brian?

Sara.

Sara.

Oh, my God.

Hey, wow, you--

You look fantastic.

And so do you.

You had your nose done.

Ah, yes, well, uh,

just call me
Brian Hackett,

the other white meat.

So...

So...

Look, uh,

I'm really sorry about

the way we left
things, you know.

It's all right.

It was a long time ago.
Ancient history.

It's really great to see you.

It's great to see you,
you know.

Mmm.

Heh.

So is your husband coming?

Oh, very subtle, Brian.

Ah, well...

Actually, I'm not married.

Oh.
What about you?

Uh, no,
I'm not married, either.

Uh, currently I'm, uh,

in between dysfunctional
relationships.

Speaking of which,

what are
the chances of us, uh,

getting together and
having dinner tonight?

Oh, boy, dinner
with Brian Hackett.
Ah-ha.

Can I have dinner
with Brian Hackett?

Let's see,
how stupid am I?

Yeah, right.

Sure.
Oh, great.

Great, it'll be
like old times, right?

You and me.

Hey, Mom, look
what the pilot gave me.

( laughs )

Wow.

( upbeat theme playing )

What are you doing?

Oh, I'm putting
a hot compress on

Jerry.
Huh.

Hey, Sara looks great.

Are you kidding?
She looked incredible.

So where are you
taking her tonight?

Um, I don't know.
Left it kind of vague.

It's the kid, isn't it?

Come on... Come on.

Only a selfish, immature jerk

would ever be bothered
by the fact that she has a kid.

It's the kid, isn't it?
Of course it's the kid!

I mean, it's not fair!

When I'm in a relationship,

I like being
the 7-year-old.

Relationship?
What are you talking about?

She's only been
back here two hours.

You just don't understand.

When we saw each other,
it just--

It clicked.

Ah! What am I gonna do now?

Well, look, Brian,

you've already lost this woman
twice in your life.

How many more chances
do you think you're gonna get?

What I'm saying is,
if you really think

there's something there,
don't blow it again.

Go after her.

Well?

Sorry, I--
I just can't concentrate

with him
staring back at me.

Get out.
Oh, come on, come on.

Really, I need your help now.

I mean, let's say--

Let's say we do work
these things out.

Okay? She has
raised Jason alone,

and suddenly
I come into the picture.

Do you understand?
I mean, don't get me wrong,

I like kids,
but I don't know if

I'm ready to be
somebody's daddy.

Come on.

No one thinks they're ready
for that responsibility.

It's a scary thing.

But you want
my honest opinion,

you're selling yourself short.

I think you'd be
a great father,

and I'm not just
saying that. I mean it.

I got the first few words
but then you lost me.

I mean, i-it's like
looking into the sun.

Get out. Get out!

Just give me another chance.
Get out.

( upbeat theme playing )

Uh, what are you doing?

I got suckered into making
the dumb welcoming speech

at the reunion tonight.

Oh, well, that's quite an honor.
Let me hear your opening line.

That was it.

( mouths )

Uh, oh, well, listen:
uh, Brian just landed

and he radioed
in to say that

someone named
Wendy Ellison

is about to
come through Gate 1,

and that he thought
you'd want to know.

Oh, no, not Wendy Ellison.

What's wrong?
Who's Wendy Ellison?

Well, there was this
group of cheerleaders

that picked on me
all through high school

because I was fat,
and she was the ringleader.

I can still remember
their awful jokes.

"What's the largest church
in the world?

The Helen Chappel."

I can still hear
'em laughing.

"The Helen Chappel."

( laughs )

Uh, children can be so cruel.

I'm gonna
get out of here.

Oh, no, wait a minute, Helen!

You have no reason
to feel insecure now.

Look at you:
you're thin, you're beautiful.

I could never be
as beautiful as Wendy.

Oh, my God.
There she is.

Boy, if she was the thin one,
you must have been...

Uh, quite a big girl.
Heh.

Wow, she used to be so thin.

Uh, hi, Wendy.

Do you remember me?

Uh, no, I'm sorry. I don't--
Helen.

H-Helen Chappel.

My God, Helen Chappel.

Ha! Look how you've changed.

Thank you.

You're blond.

It almost looks natural.

Now, you heard what she said.

Why didn't you let her have it?

I don't know.

I-I just couldn't
say anything.

I felt like
I was back in high school.

Oh, I've been trying
to get the squeak

out of that crankcase
for two years.

How'd you do it,
Mr. Conley?

I approached it from
the squeak's point of view.

I became the squeak.

Of course.

Become the squeak.

Write it down.

Yeah. Right.

No, no, don't write it here,

write it here.

Okay.

No, no, no.

Lowell, I meant
that figuratively.

Oh,

I have missed
your guidance.

O, these many years.

That was so cool.
Yeah?

Hey, guys,
how was the flight?

Mom, I flew the plane.
I flew the plane.

Wow, that's so neat,
honey.

It's really sweet of you
to pretend to let him fly.

Ah, it's no big deal.

I do it with Joe
all the time.

So, uh, I'm done for the day.

What do you say
we get some lunch, huh?

Yeah.
Go wash your hands, tiger.

Right.
She was talking to me.

Yeah. Hey-o.

I think he likes me.

I think he's crazy about you.

You're like the little brother
he never had.

Hah-hah.

So, uh,
we're all alone now, huh?

Oh, uh, Helen.

Yeah?

Um, I've been
working on it all day.

I think I finally
got it covered.

Now, I want the truth, okay?
'Kay.

Tell me what you think.

Oh, I think it's okay.

I don't think
anybody's gonna notice.

Ew, gross!

What's that thing
on that man's nose?

( band playing upbeat music )

( applause )

Ah! Some band, huh, Nancy?

Just like the one
at our prom.

Listen, don't go away.
I'm just gonna go

get us some punch, okay?

Judy, Molly,

save a dance for me, okay?

Hey, didn't we have
Home Ec together?

Oh, give it a rest.
Oh, sorry.

Sorry. It's you.

Oh, man, I've just--

I've been studying
so much about your school.

You know,
I just can't turn it off.

Isn't it great
seeing the whole g*ng again?

Oh, yeah,
it's just great.

I thought
it would be different now.

But it's just like
it was in high school.

There's Wendy over there

with her little cheerleading
clique.

And see Darlene,
she's snickering.

I know they're cracking jokes
about me again.

No, no. Not Darlene.

She would never do that.

I had the biggest crush on her
in the ninth grade.

I wish Joe would hurry up.

Yeah, wh-where is Joe?

He's meeting a man
by the docks

to buy some experimental
nose cream from Mexico.

Hey, listen,
I-I know you must be nervous

but, uh, you might want to
take it easy on the punch, okay?

Now, if you'll excuse me.

Lindsay, hey,

don't you remember me?

We did Guys and Dolls
together.

Hi.
Oh, Joe, you're here.

Hey, your zit's gone.

It's a miracle cream.

Well, uh, no. Actually,
it didn't work at all,

so, uh, Fay had to put
a little makeup on me.

Ohhhh.

Well, what happened
to the rest of your face?

Well, see,
when it was just on my nose,

it kind of stood out
so she had to even out

my skin color.
And then I looked pale,

so she added
a little blush.

Why, what do you think?

God, did she
have to use so much?

Well, it is evening.

So? What have I missed?

Oh, good.
You decided to show up.

Of course I did.

This morning when I woke up
in the fireplace, I thought,

"You know, maybe I'm being
a little silly about this,

"because this is my life,
I have nothing

to be ashamed of."
That's right.

Ooh. It's my old
cheerleading squad.

Is that Wendy?

Wow, I see she traded in

her pom-poms
for bonbons.

You know,

I never liked her.

Wendy!

( screaming )

I can't believe
we're actually here.

I mean, look at this place,
banner, nametags, punch bowl.

It's so corny.

Yeah, it's more than corny.

It's kind of embarrassing.

I'm having a great time.

Me too.

There are so many unexplained
mysteries in the world.

Like, what keeps
this egg roll

from falling off
this toothpick?

I don't know.

Pork?

Wow, Casey.

I cannot believe
what's happened to you.

I-I think
it is so brave of you

to just come out
and talk about it.

Well, you know,

losing Stuart was not easy.

But when you've seen
your husband

mauled to death
by lions on safari,

you just--

You tend to take stock
of your life,

you know,
and I-- I decided,

yes, I will go back
to medical school,

and I'm glad I did.

Because if I hadn't,

I would have never
created the vaccine

that I dedicated
to my husband's memory.

A-and what was
it called again?

Uh, Stuart-a-cocc-a-miyacin.

You know,

I never came out
and told you this,

but you were quite
an inspiration to me

in high school.

Your words, your wisdom.

You are the reason
I became a mechanic.

Thank you for sharing
that with me.

And now I'd like to
share something with you.

Yes.

Lowell, there is a power
in the universe

that controls all

we see, feel and do.

Yes.

Oh, yes.

I've always wanted
to connect to that power.

Well, you can.

They'll be here Tuesday.

You mean, Tuesday
figuratively.

No, I mean Tuesday
the 14th at 3.

The mother ship
is landing

on the east side
of the island.

How do I know?

They left me a series
of coded messages

in the movie
Howards End.

I'm going back
with them.

You can come too,
Lowell.

They can always use
another good mechanic.

Oh, and bring potato chips.

( whispers ):
They love them.

You okay, Lowell?

I don't believe it.

The man who I based
my entire life on,

my mentor, my guru,

is a freaking psycho.

( dance music stops,
crowd applauds )

Lowell, everyone
in high school knew that.

Conley has been in and out
of mental institutions

for years.
How do you think

he knows so much
about electricity?

Well, would it have k*lled
someone to have told me?

Good evening,
Siasconset High alumni.

Here to give
your welcoming speech

is your own
Helen Chappel.

( applause )

( giggling )

First of all,
I would like to welcome

all the graduates
of Siasconset High.

( chanting ):
Siasconset! Siasconset!

It's so wonderful

to see all
the familiar faces.

A lot has changed.

I wonder how many tuna melts
she had to grill

to afford
a dress like that.

( all giggling )

Some of us have

moved on,

and some of us have
stayed here on the island.

I hear she's marrying
Joe Hackett.

Boy, must he
be pretty desperate.

( women giggling )

As I was saying,

some of us have become
professionals,

and some of us
have become housewives,

and some of us

have just become
enormously fat.

For example, Wendy.

Wendy is representing

the class of '78

'79 and '80.

Oh, and hello, Darlene,

and your buddy, Cindy,

who never let me sit
at the lunch table with you

because you were
too cool for school.

Well, uh, Darlene,

everybody knows
this except you:

your husband's been
sleeping with Cindy for years.

Oops.

Yep, who feels left out now?

So anyway, welcome.

And, um, to anyone else

who made fun of me
in high school?

Bite me.

Okay. Have fun.

( scattered applause )

( band starts playing )

JOE:
Oh, hey.

Oh, baby,
did I miss your speech?

I'm sorry.
How did it go?

Oh, I thought
it went really well.

Listen, um, I'm gonna
get something to drink.

You want something?
Sure.

Yeah? You like something
to eat too?

That would be good.

Okay.

Um, one more thing.

Would you and Jason

move to the island
and live with me?

Heh-heh-heh. What?

Are you serious?

Yeah, I really
don't want you to leave.

Well, I'll have to
think about that.

Well, take all
the time you like.

There's a long line
at the cocktail franks.

Joe.
Oh, hey, Sara.

Hi.
Hi, how are you?

I've hardly seen you
since you got back.

Yeah, I've been
pretty busy.

It's great you and Brian

seem to be really getting along.

Yeah, yeah.

Can I talk to you
for a second?

Yeah, sure.

Um, Joe,
there's something...

Well, it's about Jason.

Oh, hey, l-listen,
do not worry about Jason.

I think he'll be a very good
role model for Brian.

Actually,
there's something else.

What's that?

I've always wondered
how I was gonna say this.

So I guess
I'll just say it.

There is a good chance that

Jason is your son.

( thoughtful theme playing )

Mr. Conley. Remember me?

Antonio Scarpacci?

Of course I do.

You made the napkin holder

with the ball-peen edges.

Very handsome.

Yes, y--

I was very proud of that.

You know, a bunch
of the graduates

are going on
a field trip with me.

Do you wanna come?

Sure, where are you going?

Pluto.

Ah, ah, ah,
don't eat the money.
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