03x08 - Green Eyed Monster

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Farscape". Aired: 19 March 1999 –; 21 March 2003.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise


American astronaut John Crichton finds himself thrown across the universe when an experimental mission goes bad.
Post Reply

03x08 - Green Eyed Monster

Post by bunniefuu »

Hey, fellas... knock it off,
I'm tryin' to work here

Knock it off!

That's enough!

Crais... where is it?

Crais!

Yo, Captain!

Where is it!?

What have you done?

I've taken propulsion off-line
to optimize the energy transfer rate

I'm hoping that it will ease his pain,
and speed the recovery process

Very elegant

You seem to have an intuitive grasp
of Talyn's subsystems

Well...

it just felt right

It is more than right

I can sense his easing

Have you given any...

thought to my previous proposal?

Talyn, open the door!

Crais! I know you're in there,

play time is over!
Open the damn door!

Meet me later in my quarters,
there is much more for us to discuss

Talyn, open the door

Hey, you want to mess with me?

What seems to be the problem?

Keepin' the DRDs over my head workin' 24/7,
so I can't sleep!

Repairs to Talyn...

All of the doors locked!
the shower ice-cold,
so I'm freezin' the boys off!

John, what are you talking about?

It's not really a problem,
but you do not mess with my stuff!

Where's Winona?

What?

Wi...

non...

na!

His pulse p*stol

My g*n

Well, maybe Rygel came...

Rygel and Stark have been on recon
for more than a day!

John...

Don't call me John!

Crichton, then

Are you accusing me of theft?

Talyn, you've seen them both naked.
Perhaps you can tell us who's bigger

Talyn...

In addition to their current duties,

please have the DRD's keep an eye out
for Mr. Crichton's pulse w*apon,

he seems to have mislaid it

Will there be anything else?

Yeah,

hang a left before we hit that moon

What moon?

Small one, dead ahead

Our orbital plan is well clear of this planet's moons

How could we miss it?

Might have been below the ring plane

Talyn... get a fix on all orbital objects

It's changing course and speed... accelerating

Talyn, remain calm

Main Cannon is arming

Aeryn, bring propulsion back on line

Working on it... 20 microts

Talyn, focus on propulsion

That's no moon

Talyn,

focus on propulsion!

That's budong!

Aeryn, propulsion!

Should be on-line!

It's totally black out there!
This big guppy just locked us in!

Talyn, cease fire!

Officer Sun, try and override the weapons!

Talyn, you will desist!

It's not working!

Obviously we hit something

The main cannon is out, it's damaged

And maneuvering jets are f*ring

No, Talyn, no! Do not panic,
you're costing us vital time!

Talyn, listen to me

Focus on a single point with your senses

Align yourself with that point
and block out all other distractions

Well done, Talyn

What do we know about budongs?

Next to nothing

Live ones are exceeding rare

We're still moving

We're caught in some sort of electromagnetic current,
and we're moving...

Down, we're goin' down
We're bein' swallowed! We're movin' down

Talyn, set a course against the current

Officer Sun, options?

We're incapable of Starburst

Can we sh**t our way out?

No. The main cannon is dead,
we are flying in the dark,

and we are still losing ground to this current

Down. Do we want to be goin' down?

We have no notion of which way
is up or which way is down!

Yo, Jonah, we have been swallowed!
That is down, and I, for one,
do not want to be budong chow!

You will limit your remarks to something useful,

-No, Crais
-or I will...

Or what?!

He's right

John is right

Drop anchor

Anchor?

Yes, anchor!

No, Talyn...

...but only slightly stupid,
it might buy us time

Officer Sun, take Crichton,
get suited for space

In the armory you'll find a case of taks...

Taks?

...use the hammond-side access chamber

Mooring points are located on the hull

Outside

Yes, sir, I have it
Dropping anchor

Tak-five torpedoes, handheld

Fusion-bonded rhenium claws...

stick, never let go

Cables attach to the rear

So, we're gonna use this high-grade hardware
like a mooring harpoon?

Unless you have a better idea

It was my idea, but it'll work?

Well, the cables are iridium alloy

As long as we hit bone, we should hold fast

Good. I must be smarter than I look

That would be easy

All right

You know, I'd be...

happy to swap jobs,
come back in there and work the mooring control panel

Forget about it,
you can't even operate door controls

There's a reason for that

Do it

Damn!

Your twin got the brains?

No, Crais

He's tryin' to make a point

If I may interrupt...

Damn. Open channel

Officer Sun,

this current is pulling us,
1.2 metras a microt!

Almost there

You ready?

Do it

Do not...

argue!

All right, we don't have visual yet

Wall range is closing

Zero-point-five metras

I can't see anything yet

I need visual. I need to be able to see the ribs

Point-one...

Still nothing. Pitch black

coulda woulda shoulda brought a flashlight

Crais! Whoa!

Navigating against this current
is proving to be somewhat...

difficult

Don't know yet

Soft flesh! We missed the bone!

Not gonna hold!

Talyn, reverse jets!

Release the cable!

Too late, get down!

Reload

Got it

Crais, I'm gonna go for a second sh*t

Talyn, back to the wall!

Still... no visual

Talyn...

slower

There it is!

Go, go, go

come on

Crais, stabilize the frelling ship!

We're holding...

swinging towards the wall

What are you doing? That one held!

Making sure!

Door!

Crais! Third Tak away!

Whose stupid idea was this anyway?

Yours

What do you mean, they're not here?

How can you frell up a simple rendevous?

They're just not here

Not one of you deficients can properly read a chart

Right, let's call the frellniks

Remember Aeryn's mother?
Aeryn's mother, Retrieval Squad?!

Yes, well, she's out there,
and she's looking for us

Radio silence keeps us hidden, and alive

If those toeskas have left us,

after all I've done for them...

Oh no. It can't be

What?

What the yotz are you looking at?

That lump?

That 'lump'... is a budong!

What are you doing?!

Shutting everything down!

Stop being a welnitz!

We can just fly around it

Budongs are harmless, aren't they?

They're a frelling shipping hazard

Our ships energy fields make us...
'electromagnetic candy'

I've never heard anyone say that!

That's because they're all dead!

Dead! We're flying out of here

No! No, no... not the power station!
Off-off-off-off-off-off-off!

I am the eater! Not the eatee!

Can we... please re-start the pod now?

Cables are holding

Yes

Good

It was well done

By everyone

It's warm in here

Aeryn, ah, there is something we need to discuss

How to get out of this animal?

Indeed

Crichton will be up here shortly

What we have to discuss does not concern him

I have engaged privacy mode,
and I wish to speak solely with you

Crichton,

meet... my quarters

Crais, your comms are fritzing. Where?

Meet me... in my quarters

Quarters

Because of what has passed... between us

I wanted to wait...

for you to make up your own mind in your own time

But,

events have led us to a new situation

Crais!

No, of course, not here

Tell me he's got pumps in the closet,

or an inflatable Scorvian, or Winona

PK vid chip

Home movies?

Oh, I really shouldn't

Well, you can have anything you want. Anything

Aeryn Sun,

are you offering yourself?

You can take what you want, Crais,
and I won't stop yovu

Listen, Crais

I'm not prepared to remain on board Talyn...

-Let me finish
-under these circum...

Perhaps it would be best for ah...

Perhaps it would be best for you to see me as I am

Sorry I'm late

What did I miss?

We were just discussing how best...
to resolve our...

predicament

Really?

Yes

Yes... Talyn has completed his scan of the budong

Right, have him whip up a hologram

Not necessary

I have a direct link

We are moored in a passageway above the stomach

The budong has too much mass
to scan it's length successfully,

but I believe we can navigate the digestive tract

And what about...

gizzards, stomach acids, bowel obstructions?

Budongs are very large structures

And... Talyn is designed for intense combat

We should pass through

You know what, I-I-I may have...
swallowed a-a quarter once or twice,
but this seems to me to be a little bit different

Can we not find an alternative...

use an alternative orifice? A blowhole or something?

Not according to our scan

So, according to...

your scan... a-assuming this budong is not constipated...

you...

you wanna fly out the ass?

And-and Talyn can do that?
He, ah, he's like,
he's not gonna freak on that plan?

Not with help

What help?

I have decided to take the neural interface with Talyn

The hand of friendship?

I see

I thought Talyn was designed for one captain only

We have devised a modified transponder for insertion

Yes, I bet you have

So you, ah,

two,

three... you three are uh, gonna be one

And ah,

anything I can do to help?

At the moment, no. Nothing

Exactly

It's a good plan

Where are you going?

You heard the man... nothin' for me to do

John, wait

Aeryn, you do not want me there

I-I do want you there

Why?

To throw rice? Forget about it,
I've seen my share of hardware insertion.
I'm not watchin'

It's been modified

Yeah, I heard that

Less invasive; it's-it's safer

Yes it's new, it's improved it's the Finger
of Friendship, $19.95!
But wait kids, there's more!

What's the matter with you?

This is the right thing to do

For who?

For all of us.
He needs my help to control Talyn to get us out!

Aeryn,

Aeryn, do what you have to do

I will

Fine, but do not sugar coat it for me.
"Right thing to do," my ass

And what's that supposed to mean?

It means... that you do things...

dthe way you want to, when you want to,
with who you want to do them

It's got nothing to do with what I want!

It's always about what you want!

So, yes, walk back in there and let Crais
stick a spike in the back of your neck...

Listen to me!

It'll be a brave new universe, Aeryn

You and Crais,
you can finally rejoin that Peacekeeper family
you've been pining...

for from the moment we met!

You have got this so...

Just don't pretend to me...
that it wasn't what you always wanted!

You finished?

You're right...

I don't want you there

I know you think I'm overreacting...
but I'm not, I'm keeping us alive!

A budong is a k*lling machine, death incarnate

Five cycles I spent on a budong mining operation

Thousands went in, none came out

And those budongs were dead!
This one's very much alive

What's that?

My mother sucks what?!

You heard me

What have you eaten!

Uh-uh-uh-uh! Oh, I think I'm going to...

Waste funnel's in the back

I love that trick

Talyn, open the door

Please

Talyn, open the door...

Please!

Damn... idiot

There will be pain

It will pass

Try not to control Talyn's systems too quickly,

he was an infant when I joined with him

His will and his ways are much stronger now

Accept him for what he is, and he will welcome you

This is a moment we have long waited for, Aeryn

Are you certain?

He is beyond...

beautiful...

Welcome to our world,

Officer Sun

Reach out with his senses

What do you see?

Passageways

Now. Focus on a specific object...

The door...

Good

Now, open it

Very good. You learn fast

I'm tempted to say that you've had enough for today,
but circumstances being what they are...

imagine...
you wish to speak with someone...
someone far away

For yotz sake, answer if you can hear, faddicks!

I did that!

You aligned your comms with long-range scan.
As I said...

you learn very fast

Hello out there, anyone,
come and get me off this stinking pod!

Dominar, you're back from recon

Well of course I'm back.
Where the yotz are you?

We are somewhat...

inconveniently tethered inside a budong

Inconvenient?

Kiss my mivonks

Stark... get out here.
Stark thinks he's some kind of budong expert

What? Oh, you're loose!

Not half a loose as Chiana. Now listen,

I've got Talyn on the comms

They're stuck inside the budong

Inside!? No

Not for long.
We hope to pass through the digestive tract shortly

No! no-no-no! You-you can't!

It's stomach is an inferno!
Nothing ever comes out of a budong alive!

Talyn...

It's stomach burns at five-thousand klances

Anything that goes in comes out...

-...liquid ore!
-Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Shut up!

Talyn!

Calm yourself

No, Talyn...

Talyn, do not panic!

You're dead!

You're dead already!

We've lost the pod signal

Talyn, calm down now!

Aeryn...

Yes

Is manual override in place... for the mooring?

Yes!

Stay at that control,
do not let Talyn release!

Crais?! Talyn what are you....?

What have you done to him?

John, get up here now!

What went wrong?!

What happened?

I'm not sure, Talyn was screaming
to be released and then Crais was trying
to reason with him, and he...

Where's Crais?

I thought he was with you

Talyn, where's Captain Crais? He was

Talyn, listen to me...

You didn't see him leave?

Oh, well-- I was busy! Talyn!

He's not responding

Houston, we have a problem.
Didn't you take the transponder?

Then use it

I see him

Access Chamber

He's trying to release the cables

What? Why?!

I-I don't know

Well, can you stop him?

Wait, I... ye-yes,
I can keep the cables secure, but I...

I can't leave this override panel

It's the only advantage I've got

Fine. I'll go, you give me your g*n.
You hold him off

Listen...

Aeryn, your g*n!

Listen, he's got...

Aeryn, get ready to open the access chamber door

I'll try

Crais has released a cable

One more and we're budong manure!

I can't stop him, and Talyn is resisting

Aeryn, the door!

I'll try

Crais!

Get your fat, hairy ass
away from the mooring controls

I see you've found a w*apon

What do you intend to do with it?

sh**t me?

That's one option

Of course it is

We've come full...circle, John Crichton

Now you want to k*ll me

And then don't make my day

Step away from the panel

I can't

Talyn won't let me

He doesn't believe the Banik

He wants to fly free

You'll have to sh**t me

You see, Crais

I don't have to k*ll you

I wish...

you had...

Talyn!

Talyn! stop it, now!

k*ll me!

Aeryn, what the hell is goin' on?!

Talyn,

please!

Wake up, Bialar

Talyn...?

Aeryn knocked him cold

Where is she?

She's on the bridge, patching up systems

She'll be here in a little bit,
but before she gets here,
if Talyn wakes up...

...you and I are gonna have a little Q&A

Put that w*apon away

No, you might be right,
I might want to k*ll you

Ask your questions

You and Talyn...

what the hell is goin' on?

Cybernetic bleedback

My sores and lesions are physical symptoms

You want to expand on that?

Talyn did that?

In times of stress...

our emotions, our desires, can merge...

and Talyn can gain a degree of control over me

Resistance...

causes pain

Clarification...

Talyn controls you?

Crais...

you just set up Aeryn
for the same problems you're having

No, her transponder is limited

She will not be harmed by Talyn

You... cockroach

The choice was Aeryn's. Are we finished?

No

I keep hearing...

that you've changed

I think...

weather changes

And we just keep making the same mistakes

Remember why you're alive

Crais

Are you all right?

I'm alive

How is Talyn?

I overloaded his beta channel.
Knocked him into sleep mode

He may have a mild headache
when he comes around in a few arns

You surpass yourself Officer Sun

I wouldn't want to try it again.
I don't think he knew
what I was doing this time

Well, we must ah,

wake him, the sooner...

Whoa, whoa, hang on.
Don't we want to figure out
what we're gonna do first?

You're no use to us dead, you rest

I have to get to the bridge

No, rest!

You're not going to make it out
the door in your current condition

I must get it to the...

bridge

Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me?

I'm gonna check the cables

Don't sh**t him unless you have to

Is the budong far enough away? Yes

Is it watching us? Mm-mm-mm... No

Well, let's power up and escape while we can

That's it!

That's 'vomit'!

No! That's it!

Aeryn, Crichton, Crais!
I see it... a plan!

Aeryn! Crichton! Crais!
Why don't they answer?

Because they're dead

Give it to me!

What?

You pulled the comms relay circut.
Give it to me!

Get back! They are dead,
and we are leaving!

Now, be a good little Banik
and help me power up this pod

Cable's fine

Mooring control is totally buggered,
but we should be able to cut loose if we have to

What's your problem?

Shouldn't you be with Crais?

He's sleeping

Answer the question

Aeryn, I am... doing everything
I can to get us out of this
absurdly large space monster

I am doing the good little soldier bit
What else do you want from me?

I want you to stop acting like a drannit

You know what?
I have no idea what a drannit is

No, don't play dumb with me.
That hasn't worked for over two cycles, John

Aeryn, I am dumb!
I don't understand you half the time,
and I have no idea what a drannit is!

Fine! Forget the drannit!

Fine! Screw the drannit!

What?

You really have no idea what a drannit is, do you?

What's a drannit?

Vomit...

come in please...

vomit

Stark. You're still here?

Oh, wonderful... they're alive

Now you can t*rture them
with your inane dribblings

I know how we're going
to get you out of there

Vomit!

Vomit?

Rygel and I are going to feed the budong...

over feed the budong ice...

Ice!

from the plants rings

Beautiful, Stark

They can now die laughing

Wait, wait, wait. There's more

You're going to have to dump
some of your cesium fuel

Our fuel

Yes

Dude. Cesium and water,
and ice is water, make exploding water

Yes. The expl*si*n should make the budong vomit,
and you can ride out on the wave of the vomit,
in front of the vomit

Stark, give us a moment

They're going to say yes

No. Sebaceans are ugly, not stupid

They know that cesium fuel and water
do not react without an ignition source

They'll say noooo

Here it comes

Stark, we're going to have to say no

See?

You can light the cesium with-with Talyn's cannon

Talyn's cannon is out of commission

But we-we have to have a really big expl*si*n!

You must have some kind of something
that explodes or something!

No. The main cannon is out, and I've launched all the Ta...

Oh

"Oh"...

they had warheads

"Oh," I disarmed them

You really should tell me these things. How big?

Big enough

Stark...

We have an ignition source

Crais

Crais, wake up!

Budong eats, you guys dump the cesium,
I set the b*mb and free the cable...
we all fly out

I'll talk you through the procedure
to arm the warhead and release the cables

Then we're on the clock?

Yes. You can delay the detonation by five hundred microts

But if you are outside the ship when it goes off...

I'm toast

Stark?

We're waiting on you

Yes!

Electromagnetic candy!

You flew across it's eye!?

I had to be sure it would follow

Well, it is, and it's gaining!

This pod could never outrun a budong!
We just want it to eat, 'cause we're candy!

Candy!

You've k*lled us all, you trankass!

Mother always said I'd die from incompetance

I finally know what she meant

That's why we keep people
like you chained in the first place!

Your entire race...

Shut up!

We're candy!

Okay, I'm there

Man, you guys should see this ugly sticky-flesh

Kind of like my Aunt Ruth's special jello

Can you access the panel?

Ah...yeah, gimme a second

Yeah, got it

Right, don't press the green button yet,
that arms the warhead

Blue keys the cable release

Crichton, ready for the sequence?
Don't frell this up

Aeryn, gimme some slack

I'm on maneuvering jets.
Crais, can you start waking Talyn up?

Talyn is already awake!

What?

John?

Hey, Stark, you ready yet?
I'm stuck out here in Spamland

Yes. Sort of...

No, no, no...

Come on

No, no, wait!

Why isn't he communicating? John?
I need you to put a hold on what you're doing,
I need you to wait

His comms aren't...

Uh, no, no...

Ah, give me a break

Oh, yes! Now, do it now! Do it now!

Damn, gotta love that boy's confidence

Warhead armed, 500 microts and counting

We're moving

Talyn...

John, answer me

Releasing cable...

now

Mother!

The cable, Aeryn!

Aeryn, Aeryn!

We can't outrun the budong much longer,
you should have dumped enough fuel...

Not now, Stark

Talyn, Crichton is outside the ship

He already knows

He's been awake for some time,
and moving into position for the fuel dump

He's doing what?

He's leaving Crichton behind

He-he can't

He correctly fears being too close
to the point of detonation

Talyn just spaced John

Aeryn, can you read me?!

Can you read me?

O-kay...

I'm at the hatch...

comin' in!

Open the door!

I never thought...

I tried to warn...

Talyn never... trusted Crichton

What are you talking about?

Crichton's not a Peacekeeper,
he's not a Sebacean

So?

So, he finds him offensive!

Perceives him as a thr*at!

To whom?!

You

He wants to protect you

John is only dangerous to himself!

I tried to persuade Talyn
that he was wrong about Crichton

Well then, persuade him now
to go back and get him!

He cannot be coerced, he will do as he wants. I can do nothing!

Don't you lie to me, Crais.
This is not about what Talyn wants

You have taught him everything he knows.
This is about you, me and John

Hey, Talyn

I've been reviewin' this situation

Aeryn's pretty pissed at me,
but...she kinda likes me

Talyn, prepare to dump 70% of our cesium

No! Talyn...

Aeryn...

Crais... well... he hates me,
but he's not stupid

He knows if he kills me that Aeryn would do the math,
and his sh*t at domestic bliss
would be cut off along with his balls

I regret... losing Commander Crichton

He was an honorable man

But we need you here now!

That leaves one suspect

Open the door, you souless,
tinheaded, adolescent pig!

Crichton is gone...

you've seen it

Talyn, show me...

The truth...

Peacekeeper lies

I'm...

So you should be

Aeryn!

Aeryn!

You have to do it now!

You have to dump the fuel now!

Yes, Stark, 200 microts are left, I concur

Talyn, initiate the fuel dump now

Open the frelling door!

Open it!

Talyn! I recommend you do as Officer Sun requests!

Detonation in 80 microts

Talyn...

I want you to share something with me...

before he dies

You can taste something
that is denied to Peacekeepers

Something that you will never know

Aeryn...

Can you feel that....?

Good

Talyn...

that...

is what it is to need someone

You don't need me...

you never will

Aeryn...

no!

10 microts!

Five,

four,

three,

two,

one!

Detonation!

Yes, yes, yes, yes!

I... knew it would work

Talyn...

docking web,

on that pod...

And set a course...

away from here

I wish you would reconsider

My life has been filled with doing
what others think is right

For me...

for now...

this is right

Before you go...

This contains various surveillance logs
I believe...

Talyn showed them to Crichton

Have you seen them?

No

Perhaps you should

Some of the entries are very...

creative

I see you found Winona

DRD had it

Have you seen...

...this?

Yeah

When did you see it?

Aeryn, I'm not your boyfriend,
I'm not your husband, I'm not your anything;
you can do what you want

It's not real

You know that...don't you?

The, uh...

the last part. Talyn...

altered the image. I never...

recreated with Crais

Not that it should matter

It does

It never did before...

See, uh...

I had this life

I liked it, it had rules...

I followed the rules...

and that made everything right

And then you come along
and you frell everything up

This strange human, with...

arrogance, stubborness...

Dumb

Let me finish

You saw the recording, and you didn't say a word

You are like a plague, John Crichton,
and you have ruined my life

And yet I just...

keep coming back

You could talk now

Let me show you something

Come here,

I'm not gonna bite

This is a star chart

These are the names I give the stars

They've already got names

Yeah, I know, but... Mintaka Three sounds...
boring to me, anyway,

that's Hewey, Louie, and Dewey

You see that one?

That's that star right there...

the bright one

That's my point of reference...

my guide...

and it always becomes the center of my chart

I always name it Aeryn

You say it's your guide?

It's my one constant

Would you like to name some stars?

There's a lot of them...

And we could take our time
Post Reply