05x05 - The Assignment

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine". Aired: January 3, 1993 – June 2, 1999.*
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A spin-off of `Star Trek: The Next Generation', `Deep Space Nine' is set on a space station orbiting the planet Bajor.
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05x05 - The Assignment

Post by bunniefuu »

You know, Morn

there's nothing
more invigorating

than breakfast in a bar.

Where else can you
get raw slug liver

first thing in the morning?

Mmm, mmm.

What's this?

What do you mean, "what's this?"

It's puree of beetle.

I didn't order it.

Of course you didn't order it.

You don't need to order it.

You have it after work
every morning.

Well, I'm not having it
this morning.

I'd like...

two eggs over easy,
three strips of bacon

and a side of corned beef hash.

What kind of breakfast is that?

It's Chief O'Brien's
breakfast of choice.

That's the problem
with working alongside hu-mans...

you pick up
their disgusting habits.

Bacon...

corned beef hash.

What's next, Rom?

Orange juice and coffee?

That might be nice.

I don't understand.

You gave up
a perfectly good job with me

to work on the station's
waste extraction system?

A good waste extraction system
is important.

Imagine where we'd be
without one.

Of course it's important,
but my point is

you're not getting
the choice assignments.

O'Brien's got you
on the night shift

doing all the work
nobody else wants to do.

I like my work.

You like standing all night long

knee-deep in waste

fixing some broken
flow regulator

when you could be here

staring at half-naked
dabo girls?

I have a good job.

I'm proud of the work I do

and I know that one day

Chief O'Brien will recognize
my efforts

and reward me
with a position of respect

and responsibility, and why?

Because that's just
the way things are

in Engineering.

I'm sorry I brought it up.

They don't look so fine now.

I can't understand it.

I followed Keiko's instructions
to the letter.

They were dry as a bone

when I came by
for you yesterday.

I mean, I gave them water.

I just don't think
it was enough.

You watered them?

These are Idran hybrids.

Too much water rots their roots.

Oh.

Mommy's going to be mad.

I can't believe it.

Keiko's gone five days
and we k*ll her plants.

She'll understand, won't she?

I mean, after all,
they're just plants.

They're not just plants.

These are her bonsai trees.

She's cared for them,
and nurtured them

and carefully sculpted
their growth for months...

years.

You're in trouble.

Listen, Molly, I think you and I

should both go to the airlock
and welcome Mommy back

and then after we've
hugged and kissed and...

you can tell her what happened.

Not me.

Well, don't look at me.

Well, you k*lled her plants.

We k*lled them.

But I think you're overreacting
to the situation.

I mean, Keiko will forgive you.

It's your birthday today,
isn't it?

Yeah, so far, it's one
I'd like to forget.

Well, she's been away on Bajor.

She's missed you.

Bring her a gift.

What kind of chocolates
does she like?

Tellurian mint truffles

but I still think
you should be with me.

You don't need me there.

I've seen you handle your wife
thousands of times.

Just say you're sorry

and that you take
full responsibility.

You'll be fine.

Besides, I, uh...
have to be in surgery...

operating.

On who?

I'll find someone.

It was Julian.

He was trying to be helpful.

He over-watered them.

It's not his fault.

You know how he is.

Sometimes he doesn't even
know what he's doing.

I'm sorry, sweetheart.

We'll buy some new ones.

Forget it, Miles.
They're just plants.

Exactly.

It's not as if

something happened
to Molly or the baby.

Right, right.

I mean, everybody's fine.
No problems.

Good.

What about Kira?

Is she back yet?

No, she's still with Shakaar.

They're traveling around
Dahkur Province.

I thought you were
going to visit them.

I didn't get a chance.

So, how are the Fire Caves?

Fine.

And now it's time for me
to tell you some news.

I'm not Keiko.

No?

Who are you?

Listen carefully, Miles.

I have taken possession
of your wife's body.

I will hold it hostage

until you do everything
I tell you to

accurately,
and without question.

Hmm... everything?

If you don't do
precisely what I ask

I'll k*ll your wife.

Are you all right?

Maybe there's
been an outbreak

of Rudellian brain
fever on Bajor.

We should go see Julian...

I see I'm going
to have to give you

a demonstration
of my sincerity.

Keiko!

Keiko!

No.

No, Miles.

You're not telling anyone.

If you do, I'll stop
her heart forever.

If you're really
in control my wife's body

let me speak to her.

She can hear
whatever you have to say.

Not good enough.

I want to talk to her.

I want her to talk to me.

You're in no position
to bargain, Miles.

Strange, these corporeal
bodies of yours... so fragile.

Burst even a tiny blood vessel
in the brain

and every memory

every passionate emotion...
gone forever.

You really shouldn't let me
eat all these by myself, Miles.

I'm not hungry.

Look, why don't you just tell me
what it is you want me to do

so we can get this over with.

Very well.

But let me make one thing clear:

I will not do anything
to jeopardize this station

or the people on it.

Don't worry, Miles.

All I want you to do
is reconfigure

some of the communication

and sensor relays
on the station.

Why?

I can't tell you.

You'll have to be patient.

The communications
and sensor relays

are distributed throughout
the entire station.

You know your wife
well, Miles

but she knows you even better.

I know you're just
playing for time

until you can get
to your friends...

Julian, Dax, Captain Sisko.

I know they'll all
want to help you.

The Captain may even allow you
to do what I'm asking

at least
until someone figures out

a way to catch me
in some sort of stasis field

or some other clever device
you're already dreaming up.

And you know what?
It might work.

You might be able to stop me

but I promise you one thing:

If you do, Keiko will die.

All I need is a split second

to cause a massive
brain hemorrhage, and...

she's gone.

I know this is a difficult
adjustment for you to make

but we don't have a lot of time.

What do you want me to do?

How long is this going to take?

In order to keep
the polarity shift

invisible to security checks,
I'm going to have to tap

into the optronic integrator
on Level Five.

You're the engineer.

What is it, Miles?

What do you want to ask me?

You always tighten
your brow just a tiny bit

whenever you're about
to ask a question.

It's something
only a wife would notice.

Why Keiko?

Why take control of her?
Why not me?

I'm the one who can do the work.

It would be more efficient.

Come in.

I hope I'm not
interrupting anything.

Yes, you are.
We're busy.

Miles, don't be so rude.

Aw, Bajoran spiny basil...
how thoughtful.

It's the least
I could do after...

Oh, it's all right, Julian.

I forgive you.

Now, you are coming
to the party tonight

aren't you?

I'll be here.

I guess it's not
a surprise anymore.

Oh, I can't believe
I did that.

I arranged a birthday
dinner for you tonight

but I wanted it
to be a surprise.

Well, that's okay.

I... I don't like surprises.

Well, I better be going.

I left a patient
on the operating table.

I'll see you later.

Thanks, Julian.

This was so sweet.

No problem.

A party? Tonight?

It is your birthday.

We can't have
all those people here.

We'll have to cancel.

And raise suspicions?

It's better if the dinner
goes on as planned.

Besides, Keiko

went to a lot of trouble
to arrange it for you.

Now, you better
get back to work.

You don't want to be late
for your shift briefing

and I've got a lot
of cooking to do.

Diagnostic and Repair Technician
Junior Grade Rom reporting.

Right. You're Duarte's
replacement. Have a seat.

I'm on the swing shift?

For a day or two.

What's the matter with Duarte?

Sick as a vole.

Is this where Duarte sits?

So, what are you drinking?

Raktajino.

Great.

Is that what we drink
on the swing shift?

You can drink
anything you want.

I'll have a raktajino.

It's not like this
on the night shift.

We don't drink raktajino.

We really don't drink anything.

Fascinating.

Change of plans today, people.

I need to recalibrate
the optronic integrator

on Level Five.

What is it, Rom?

I volunteer.

I like phase-shifting
reconfigurations.

Thank you, but I'll
take care of that myself.

I want the rest of you

to concentrate
on the new inertial couplings.

I want all 64 couplings
done today.

Watley, you and Tekoa
cover the docking ring.

Abdon and Nori, the cargo bays.

Rom, the upper pylons.

Any questions?

Good.

Now, since I'll be
working alone today

I'm going to be very busy,
so I don't want

to be interrupted
by anything unimportant.

Is that clear?

Yes, sir.

Computer...
Iocate Keiko O'Brien.

Keiko O'Brien is
in her quarters.

Computer, initiate full
identity scan of Keiko O'Brien

and note any inconsistencies
with existing medical records.

Scan complete.
No inconsistencies found.

Identity confirmed.

How long would it take
a level-3 stasis field

to render Keiko O'Brien
unconscious?

All cognitive reflexes
would cease in 2.1 seconds.

Too long.

Calculate the time
if anesthetine gas were used.

1.4 seconds.

What about a phaser set on stun?

0.9 seconds.

God help me.

There you are, Chief.

I was beginning to think

you were going to miss
your own party.

I'm sorry I'm late.

I had a few odds
and ends to tie up.

Have you seen Keiko?

Oh, she's in the bedroom

helping Molly try on
different shoes...

a little fashion crisis.

But as usual, your wife
has handled everything.

You're a lucky man, Miles.

Keiko has really
outdone herself this time.

Take it from an old cook...

Q'parol is a very
time-consuming dish.

Happy birthday, Daddy!

For...

He's a jolly good fellow

For he's a jolly good fellow

For he's
a jolly good fellow

Which nobody can deny.

Happy birthday, sweetheart.

Make a wish.

Single malt Irish whiskey.
Neat.

Molly wanted to wear
her new purple shoes for you.

Doesn't she look pretty?

Very pretty.

Now all the food's set out
on the table

so just relax with your friends
and I'll pass these around.

I want to talk to you.

Not right now, Miles.
We have guests.

Sorry I'm late.

Dax, I was afraid
you weren't coming.

Well, I heard you
were serving Q'parol

and how could I miss it?

What's the matter, Chief?

You look a little preoccupied.

Everything all right?

Well, there's, um...

there's something
I forgot to tell Keiko.

Would you excuse me
for a moment?

Of course.

Did you see any Pah-wraiths?

Pah-wraiths?

In the Fire Caves.

Odo was telling me the Caves
were haunted by some

sort of weird
supernatural beings.

Don't tell me you believe
in wraiths.

Well, I may have mentioned
the Bajoran legends

about creatures living
in the caves

but I never said
I believe in them.

Well, the only thing
I saw in the caves

were some beautiful and
botanically fascinating fungi.

Well, maybe the next time

you go to the Fire Caves,
I could come along.

I've always wanted
to meet a Pah-wraith.

Maybe you will.
You never know.

I've done what you asked.

That's terrific, Miles.

We'll talk later.

Can I have cake now?

Oh, in a bit, sweetie.

Miles, are you bleeding?

No. It's... it's nothing.

Let me take a look.

I said I'm all right!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, everybody.

Excuse me.

Get ahold of yourself.

Look, I've done everything
you've asked me to do.

Just give me back my wife.

You've done well, Miles

but recalibrating the optronic
integrator was only a test.

I had to be sure
I could trust you.

Tomorrow the real work begins.

Now it's time to get back
to our guests.

We don't want
to raise suspicions, do we?

Is Molly asleep?

Yes.

The Q'parol was a huge success.

Look, no more tests,
no more games.

Just tell me what you want done.

We'll talk about it
in the morning.

It's late and you're working
a double shift tomorrow.

I want to talk about it now!

Miles, I make the rules.

Now relax.

Everything's going to be fine
as long as you do what I ask.

I'll sleep on the couch.

Don't be childish.

What if Molly has one
of her nightmares

and comes running in?

You'll sleep in bed with me
just like you always do.

I'll be there in a minute.

Don't be too late.

You've got a busy day tomorrow.

Computer...

give me the record
of all Bajoran legends

concerning the Pah-wraiths.

There are 6,427 entries
in the data banks

that reference that subject.

Please specify.

Miles?

Sleep well.

Another weakness
of you corporeal life-forms...

your need for physical intimacy.

It's especially irritating
in your young.

I have to get Molly
ready for school.

I'll do it.
You have a big day ahead of you.

Molly is going to sleep over
at the Davis' tonight

and she's staying there
until this is over.

You really think that's wise?

A little girl needs her mother.

Molly would be lost
without hers.

You stay away from her.

Miles, I'd never do anything
to hurt your daughter...

unless you force me to.

These are your instructions.

Follow them precisely.

Computer, locate Captain Sisko.

Captain Sisko is in Security.

Miles?

No!

And you didn't see anyone
near her before she fell?

Nobody, but I was passing
underneath the walkway

and I had my back toward her.

What were you doing
on the Promenade?

What?

Weren't you supposed
to be working

on optronic circuitry
on Level Five?

I was going to the Replimat
for lunch.

Keiko is going to be all right.

She's lucky that she landed
the way that she did.

It distributed the impact.

Otherwise, a fall
from that height

could easily have k*lled her

or left her paralyzed.

Is she conscious?

Yes, but she's still in shock.

She has a broken femur
and a hairline fracture

of the right parietal lobe.

Can I see her?

Maybe in a couple of hours.

Right now, she needs to rest.

Julian...

I really need to see her now.

Doctor.

All right...

but only for a few minutes.

Don't excite her.

Keiko?

You were going
to tell them about me.

How did you know?

I know everything
your wife knows

and she knows you.

I told you we have
to trust one another.

You violated that trust.

Now look where it's led us.

I want my wife back,
do you hear? I want her...

Then stop trying to fool me.

How much more damage do you
think this body can take?

Now...

no more tricks.

Agreed?

Say it.

Agreed.

Good.

You know what you need to do.

You should get back to work.

I'll have everything completed
in 36 hours.

You have 13
and not a minute more.

I can't do it that fast.

You're a very resourceful man.

I'm sure you can find a way...

for Keiko's sake.

You bloody...

She does need to rest, Chief.

Tell Molly I'll be home soon.

Tell her Mommy's fine.

Don't scare her.

Miles...

give me a kiss.

I'm counting on you.

She'll be back on her feet soon,
I promise.

Computer, begin a 13-hour
countdown, starting now.

Clock activated.

Chief.

I heard about Keiko's accident.

How is she?

Julian said she'll be home soon.

That is good.

If there is anything
I can do...

I wish there was.

I really do.

I'd better get going.

I'm falling behind schedule.

Computer, time remaining?

Eight hours, 22 minutes,
three seconds.

Chief!

Sorry.

I didn't mean to startle you.

Rom, what are you doing here?

Reporting
for my next assignment.

I've completed
calibration tests

on the inertial coupling ports
on all three upper pylons.

Already?

How did you finish so quickly?

I just did the work.

I didn't allow myself
to get caught up

in any of the
distracting discussions

the other workers engage in.

Ferengi can be

very focused,
especially when no one

bothers to talk to them.

I see.

Not that I mind.

I'm used to being ignored.

Is something wrong, Chief?

I can work slower
if you want me to.

Rom...

I need your help

and I need you
to keep your mouth shut.

Can I count on you?

Is that a trick question?

Rom, this is serious.

You can depend on me, Chief.

We're going to make
some modifications

to several
of the station's systems.

I don't want you to breathe
a word of this to anyone.

That includes Dax, Odo
Captain Sisko, Worf...

They don't know?

Of course they know.

Well, at least some of them do

but they have to pretend
that they don't.

This is a top secret
Starfleet operation.

Culpable deniability.

I understand.

Don't worry about me, Chief.
My lips are sealed.

Nobody will get anything
out of me.

Not even my name.

Rom, everybody on the station
knows your name.

Right.

But I won't confirm it.

Where do we start?

Computer, time remaining?

Six hours, 41 minutes,
26 seconds.

Chief...

Commander, what are you
doing up at this hour?

I want you to have
a look at something.

I couldn't sleep,
so I got up and decided

to scan the wormhole
for radiometric anomalies.

At 3:00 in the morning?

I've always found anomalies
to be very relaxing.

It's a curse.

I was using the wideband
filter protocols

and when I ran
the primary calibrations check

I found this.

Oh, they're slightly off spec.

Yes. I thought it might be
a fused matrix inverter

until I ran
a level-3 diagnostic.

Have a look.

We'd better wake the Captain.

We have a saboteur
on the station.

All right, what have we got?

Computer, display diagnostic.

Chief?

We've identified
943 tiny fluctuations

in the primary
communication relays

and several power
distribution junctions.

Fluctuations that
can't be attributed

to anything except
external intervention.

Someone's gained
access to our systems

and is altering them.

For what purpose?

We're working on that.

At this point, it's hard
to even call it sabotage.

There's been no real damage.

The systems are just
a little off spec.

So far, these alterations
don't seem

to pose any thr*at
to the station.

So far.

But this might be just the tip

of a very large
and dangerous iceberg.

Is there any way to trace how
this was done, and by whom?

It has to be someone familiar
with the station's systems.

Maybe someone who worked
on the station

under the Cardassians.

I'm running extensive
security checks

on all recent visitors,
but so far, I haven't

found anything.

It could have been someone

who's been on the station
a long time...

someone with a lot of access.

Maybe even someone
on the maintenance crew.

Chief?

Yes.

Yes, what?

Do you think
it's someone on your staff?

Chief O'Brien, I have
a call from your daughter.

Go ahead.

Molly, honey, what is it?

Hi, Daddy. Mommy told
me I could call you.

I hope we didn't interrupt
anything important.

It's all right, Molly.

I'm glad you called.

What are you doing at home?

She missed her mommy.

Isn't that sweet?

When are you going to come...?

Ow, Mommy! That hurt.

Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie.

Are you all right, Molly?

She's fine, Miles.

She just wants to know
when you'll be finished.

I told her you had to work

another two hours,
22 minutes and 13 seconds.

How long is that, Daddy?

Soon.
I'll be home very soon.

Good.
We both miss you.

Everything all right?

Fine. I'm sorry
about the interruption.

You were saying
you thought you knew

who the saboteur might be.

I think I have an idea.

Hello, Constable.

Hello, Chief.

What are you doing, Rom?

I can't talk about it.

Oh, yes, you can.

And you will.

Coming, Chief?

I'd better see what
he's been up to here.

I'll take care of those.

Has he said anything?

Not much.

For the first 40 minutes,
it was

like pulling teeth
even getting him

to admit his name.

You think he's working alone?

I don't know.

Rom admits to nothing.

Now he's asking
to see Chief O'Brien.

He won't talk to anybody else.

Then get the Chief down here.

I want to know what's going on.

Security to Chief O'Brien.

Go ahead, Constable.

We need you in Security
right away.

I'm still trying to figure out
what Rom did to these systems.

That'll have to wait.

I have Captain's orders to get
you down here immediately.

On my way.

Computer, time remaining?

36 minutes, nine seconds.

Computer, locate
Maintenance Technician Rom.

Maintenance Technician Rom

is in Security Holding Cell
Number Four.

Initiate security override

and scramble surveillance
channels 4-A, B, C and D.

Authorization:
O'Brien-seven-one-two.

Specified security
channels scrambled.

Now begin recalibration
of gravitic sensors

at Access Panel 379
as indicated.

I'll be back in ten minutes.

The Chief is here, Rom.

Now, what do you want to say?

Alone.

I'll only talk if we're alone.

What is it, Rom?

It's okay... I've disconnected
Odo's eavesdropping devices.

I haven't told anyone anything,
just like you said.

You're a good man.

Now, why did you call me?

I told you we're under
very tight time constraints.

Captain Sisko is really angry.

If I didn't know
he was pretending...

Rom...

Don't worry.

I can hold out
until you say otherwise

but there is
one thing I have to know.

Go ahead.

Why are we focusing
a chroniton beam

at the wormhole?

What?

The new frequency

of the deflector grid
is set to turn the station

into a massive chroniton array
aimed directly at the wormhole.

So, I just wanted to know...

why are we trying to k*ll
the wormhole aliens?

What are you talking about?

The chroniton beam is harmless.

To us, but its
temporal disruption

would k*ll a wormhole
alien instantly.

Of course.

Why didn't I think of that?

She has me so on edge

I haven't been able to see
the forest for the trees.

Who's she?

I don't have time
to explain now.

The question is:

Why would anyone want to k*ll
the wormhole aliens?

Everyone has enemies,
even the Prophets.

That's right.

They're not just
wormhole aliens, they're...

they're Prophets

part of Bajoran mythology...

just like the Pah-wraiths
of the Fire Caves.

So...

what have those wraiths

got to do
with the wormhole aliens?

Koss'moran.

What?

It's a Bajoran legend.

From the verb kosst
meaning "to be"

and amoran..."banished."

Leeta's been telling me
all about Bajoran legends.

She can go on for hours.

She says I'm a good listener.

I'm sure you are.

Now it's time to be
a good talker... go on.

Well, uh, according to Leeta

the Pah-wraiths used to live
in the wormhole.

They were part
of the Celestial Temple.

They were Prophets.

False Prophets.

They were cast out
of the Temple

exiled to the Caves

where they were imprisoned
in crystal fire cages

and forbidden to ever return

"lest they face the wrath
of the true Prophets."

So if these false Prophets
were to return

to the Celestial Temple...

I don't think
they'd be welcomed.

Unless... she kills
all the wormhole aliens first.

Rom... I'm going to have
to leave you in a tough spot.

Captain Sisko, Odo...

they don't know
about any of this, do they?

No. No, they don't

and I want you to help me
keep it that way

for a little while longer.

I have to stay here
and play the idiot?

I'm afraid so.

Now, no matter
what Odo asks you...

I'm Quark's brother.

I know the role.

Computer, time remaining?

12 minutes, 22 seconds.

Sorry to disturb you, Chief.

Couple of things
are still bothering me.

Rom couldn't have

done all this sabotage alone.

There were too many changes
for any one person to make.

Maybe so.

Right now, I've got a frequency
problem in the cascade feeder.

I checked with the repair logs.

I was hoping to match
someone's movements

to the locations
where the alterations were made

but I couldn't do that.

We had a matrix systems
failure yesterday.

Those files were lost.
Sorry.

Hmm. We've had a lot
of systems failures recently

haven't we, Chief?

Really?
I hadn't noticed.

I've been too busy
repairing things.

Like the surveillance channels
in the holding cells?

You authorized
a security override.

What was wrong with them?

The fiber optic relay
was out of sync.

The isolinear chip
junction was...

Enough, Chief.

You didn't cover your tracks
very well.

Why?

I didn't have time.

I still don't.

Sorry, Odo.

Chief O'Brien to Keiko O'Brien.

This is Keiko.

I've finished,
but we have to move quickly.

This place is going to be
swarming with Security.

Meet me
at Runabout Pad C now.

How did you know
I'd want a runabout?

Because I know
what you're planning to do

but don't worry,
I don't give a damn

about the Celestial Temple
or your non-corporeal feuds.

I just want my wife back.

Now, you still need me to
pilot you to the wormhole.

So let's stop wasting time.

Agreed?

I'll meet you there.

That's correct, Commander.

I want to test
some new magnetic constrictors

in the runabout's impulse
thrusters.

Very well, Chief.

You're cleared for departure,
but before you go

there's one thing
I'd like to ask you.

What's that?

Did you enjoy your birthday?

Well, it was full of surprises.

Good.
Those are always my favorites.

Hold position here.

Computer, initiate modifications
O'Brien-731

and enable remote com link.

Com link enabled.

What the hell?

Target the center
of the wormhole.

Target coordinates set.

Have us face the Temple.

The blast will last
only a fraction of a second.

They'll all be dead
before they even see it.

Oh! You have no idea

how many centuries
I've waited for this.

Let's get on with it!

Miles, you have a lot to learn
about patience.

Proceed.

Chief, what's going on
out there?

I'm ordering you to return
to the station.

Now.

Activate.

Keiko?

Keiko?

Miles...

Chief...

you have some explaining to do.

It was more like having
something

coiled around inside my head.

I could see and hear
through it

but anytime I tried
to do anything...

it was like being stuck
in sand and squeezed.

Yeah.

Could you sense
any of its thoughts?

Just feelings, sometimes.

Kind of a cold rage.

I don't think it had
any intention

of leaving either one of us
alive.

You don't have to talk about
it if you don't want to.

Oh, it feels better
to talk about it.

Besides, I don't want to forget
how hard you fought for me.

Hello, Brother.

You look horrible.

I'm telling you, Rom

working the night shift

is driving you
to an early grave.

I wasn't working.

What do you mean
you weren't working?

I'm not on
the night shift anymore.

I knew it.
O'Brien fired you.

No, Brother.

In appreciation of my work

the Chief... has promoted me

to the day shift.

He says I have a promising
future in engineering.

Then why do you look so tired?

I was out celebrating.

With who?

My crewmates.

I think they like me.

Do they?

Especially Litana.

She's always finding excuses
to talk to me.

Well, Rom...

I'm glad things are going
so well for you.

No, you're not

but thanks anyway, Brother.

I guess you'll be wanting
the "Chief's Special" again?

Actually, no.

I've discovered that bacon
doesn't agree with me.

What a surprise.

Instead

I'll have
a short stack of pancakes

dripping with butter,
a side of sausage

and... pineapple.

Pineapple?

That's the breakfast
of choice on the day shift.

Pineapple.
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