05x18 - Business as Usual

[bunniefuu]

I risk eight strips

with a purchase at six
and a sale of ten.

Quark, it's your move.

Um, just a moment.

Oh, I can't believe it.

You beg me
to play tongo with you

and then you don't
pay attention to the game.

I'll be right there.

Let me put it another way.

If you don't finish this hand,
I'm going to call it a night.

Okay, okay.

Who'd have dreamed
they'd strike feldomite

on Parsion III?

The Sepian Commodities
Exchange is in chaos...

everybody's selling,
prices falling.

Evade.

Are you sure?

You heard me.
Evade!

Okay.

Confront.

You owe me 15 strips
of latinum.

Take it.

That's all I've got left.

My antimonium options,
my quadrotriticale futures...

my powdered newt supplements...

all wiped out.

That's it.
I'm finished.

It can't be as bad as all that.

It can and it is.

I'm up to my lobes in debt.

I put the bar up as collateral
to three different brokers.

The loans are due in a week.

If I don't come up
with the latinum

there'll be nothing left of me

but a greasy spot
on the Promenade.

Here?

Now?

Tell him I'm gone.

If that's the best lie
you can come up with

no wonder you're broke!

Gaila!

What a pleasant surprise.

I doubt it.

A clothed female...

how titillating.

Isn't this the cousin
that tried to k*ll you?

I see you've heard of me.

Now, if you don't mind

I'd like to talk
to my dear cousin...

alone.

If you've come for your latinum

you've come a long way
for nothing

because that's all
I can give you... nothing.

Spare me the sad story.

I'm well aware
of your financial situation

and I'm here to help.

What are you going to do,
loan me some exploding latinum?

I can understand
your skepticism

but I know a way
that can help the both of us.

I'm offering you a job.

You'd defy the FCA ban
on doing business with me?

What's family for?

Besides, I won't tell
if you don't.

You want me to sell weapons,
don't you?

That's what I do.

Now, I know
you've had reservations

about entering
this lucrative field.

"It's dangerous."

"It's too technical."

"It's not a people business."

But let me tell you
something, Cousin.

Nothing could be further
from the truth.

I've told you before.

I can't smuggle weapons
through this station.

Odo would be onto me
in a second.

Who said anything
about bringing weapons here?

Then what do you need me for?

I need you, Quark, to do
the things you do best...

public relations...

showing our clients
a good time...

providing an atmosphere
conducive to closing deals.

I can do that.

Of course you can.

And you'll earn five percent
off every sale.

Ten.

You'll take five.

I had no idea.

Weapons is a growth industry.

In a month,
all your debts will be paid.

In six months,
the Ferengi Commerce Authority

will be begging
to reinstate you.

In a year,
you'll have your own moon.

My own moon?

Success... or failure?

What's it going to be,
Cousin?

What have I got to lose?

Come in.

Morning, Chief.

Shh.

Quiet.

You'll wake him.

He only dropped off
about an hour ago.

You look terrible.

I didn't get much sleep.

He woke up every hour or two.

Every time I tried to put
him back in his crib

he started crying again.

He misses his mother.

Oh, when is Professor O'Brien
due back from Bajor?

I don't know.

A week, maybe two...

however long it takes

to get that blight
under control.

That long?

Mm-hmm.

On top of that

Annel had some kind
of family emergency

so I'm stuck
without a baby-sitter.

Don't worry about it, Chief.

Everything's going to be fine.

I'll take care of Yoshi.

Yeah?

Yeah, absolutely.

You sure you're up to it?

Absolutely.

I've baby-sat
Ensign Pran's hatchlings

a couple of times.

Made sure their little wings
didn't get all tangled.

Kirayoshi doesn't
have little wings.

Even better.

I think he's worn himself out.

He should sleep now.

If he wakes, give him
one of his bottles.

There's diapers
in the bag over there.

Don't worry, Chief.
I know the drill.

Now, go to work.

You need the rest.

I'll be fine.

I went through the same thing
with Molly.

It's just a phase.

He'll grow out of it
sooner or later.

Gently now.

Yeah.

You see?

No problem.

I'll check in with you at lunch.

If you need me,
I'm just a com line away.

He... he...

Give him to me.

Shh.

There, there. Shh.

Shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

You're good.

He feels safe with me.

Give me the bag.

I'm taking him with me.

To work?

What choice do I have?

Would you stop doing that?

Shh. I'm just being careful.

Odo could be anywhere...

or anything.

Quark...

we saw him walk down
the Promenade five minutes ago.

He's very tricky.

There he is.

Where?

How good to see you again.

The pleasure's all mine.

Quark, this is
my associate, Hagath.

Quark.

My companion, Talura.

Your cousin speaks
very highly of you.

I've always said my cousin is
an excellent judge of character.

I admire confidence in a man.

In fact, I demand it
of my salesmen.

But in business

one must be careful
not to grow too confident.

That can be a fatal mistake.

I believe the phrase you used
to bring me here

was "an opportunity
of a lifetime."

An accurate description.

Hmm...

show me.

Very nice.

Mmm...

Its weight and balance
appears just right.

Ah, we have a wide

range of targets
for you to choose from.

Well, that won't be necessary.

Ah!

A perfect replica.

It even pulls
a little to the right

just like the real ones.

These are the finest
holosuites in the sector.

I believe it.

Remember, we sold 150,000
of those to the Manchovites.

And we sold another
100,000 to the other side.

Now, there was
a beautiful little w*r.

Too bad about the armistice.

Well, all good things
must come to an end.

You sell weapons
to opposing sides?

On occasion.

It's very dangerous.

If either side realizes
what you're doing

it could be most unpleasant.

But as they say

"the riskier the road,
the greater the profit."

True.

Well, I'm glad I came.

This solves
many of our problems.

It certainly does.

No actual weapons
coming in or out

so we don't break
any local laws.

All shipping happens
outside Federation space

so Starfleet can't touch us.

And since all we're
demonstrating are holograms

we can even show off
the specialty items.

Gaila... well done.

It was all Quark's idea.

Quark...

you really are quite a find.

I'm sure we're going

to accomplish
great things together.

I can't wait.

Uh, just one thing...

don't cross me, Quark.

Don't ever cross me.

Understood?

Completely.

Right.

Now, if it's not
too much trouble

I'd, uh, like
to see my quarters.

If he were a bit shorter

and his teeth
were a little sharper

he'd make a perfect Ferengi.

Why'd you tell him
this was my idea?

I want him to like you.

The Breen CRM-114
works equally well

against moving vessels
and surface emplacements.

It's guaranteed to cut
through reactive armor

in the six through 15
centimeters range

and shields to 4.6 gigajoules.

It's light.

Here we go.

Oh. Nice.

The quick recharge is one
of its most popular features.

I'll take 2,000.

It's a pleasure doing business

with someone
who appreciates a fine w*apon.

How did I do?

You're a natural salesman.

I am, aren't I?

It's no different
than selling sandwiches.

What did I tell you?

I always like to celebrate
a job well done.

To Quark.

Quark.

I'm going to like
doing this job.

You wanted to see me?

Just a minute.

Who would have thought
that so much money can be made

from Andarian glass beads?

How did things go
with the Proxcinians?

He purchased 7,000

tritanium-plated
as*ault skimmers.

Good, and he'll
be back for more.

The Proxcinian w*r
is just heating up.

Lucky us.

I suppose you're wondering

when you'll start seeing
your share of the profits.

It had crossed my mind.

I'm afraid it won't be, uh...

soon.

I don't understand.

I took the liberty
of transferring

your earnings directly
to your creditors.

You'll be happy to know
they were most appreciative.

I would have paid
them their money.

I don't doubt your intentions

but money does
strange things to people.

I can't afford to have
one of my associates

distracted
with financial difficulties

so, until your debt is paid

you won't be seeing
any profit.

And once
my debts are paid...?

Your earnings will be yours
to do with as you will

as long as you remain solvent.

Quark!

Do forgive me.

You see, my associates
are like family to me

and I feel it's my duty

to keep them from getting
into trouble...

and to shower them
with affection.

Go on.

Open it.

Andarian glass beads!

These must be worth...!

An absolute fortune.

A small token of my esteem.

Look!

Go ahead.
b*at that, Chief.

Come on, Yoshi.

It may not seem fair
forcing the good doctor

to throw from further away,
but...

he is genetically
engineered.

Uh, Chief... don't you think
you should put the baby down?

I haven't put Yoshi down
for a week.

If I can carry him at work,
I can carry him here.

There must be some
baby-sitter on the station

that can pacify him.

You want to bet?

But... you can't
hold him forever.

You've already got
one bad shoulder.

Okay.

You want me to put
the baby down?

Fine.
I'll put the baby down.

Happy?

That's amazing.

No, no, this is amazing.

Yes.

Ah. Now, if you'll excuse me

it's my turn to throw.

That's right.

Keep going.

Uh-huh.

Don't stop until you see smoke.

Oh...

Come in.

I hope I'm not
interrupting anything.

I believe you know the way
to the security office.

None of these charges
are going to stick.

I haven't broken any laws.

I have a license
to run holosuites.

But you don't have a license
to sell weapons, do you?

I defy you to prove
that I brought

a single w*apon
onto this station.

It's a mere technicality.

We both know what you're doing.

I promise you

you're going to face
the consequences.

Not today he isn't.

Let him go.

Let him go?!

Major

tell the Constable
what you told me.

The Bajoran government
insists that Deep Space 9

not interfere
with the lawful transactions

of Hagath or his associates.

Hagath supplied arms
to the resistance.

Without him or people like him,
we'd all be dead.

The Cardassians
would still be in power.

We owe him.

Captain!

I don't like it
any more than you do.

Better luck next time.

You better hope there
isn't a next time, Mister.

I have cut you a lot
of slack in the past.

I even looked away once or twice

when I could have
come down hard on you

but those days are over.

Now we may not be
able to get you

for selling weapons

but you so much as litter
on the Promenade

and I will nail you
to the wall.

Something to look forward to.

I'll never forget
how many people told us

we were making a mistake.

Sell weapons to the Bajorans?

"What chance do they have?

"Invest in a winner.

Sell to the Cardassians."

But why did you sell weapons
to the Bajorans?

They couldn't
have had any money.

My dear Quark

not every deal is
about making money.

Sometimes you have to look
at the big picture

and at times, gaining a friend

is more important
than making profit.

I admit,
it's not the Ferengi way

but it's good business,
nonetheless.

I knew the Cardassians
would eventually lose

and you know why?

Because they were
overly confident.

Exactly!

They underestimated
the Bajoran thirst for freedom.

I didn't.

You want me to handle this?

No.

Come in.

Ah, Farrakk.

How nice of you to join us.

What was so important

that you had to see me
in person?

I was about to close
that deal with the Verillians.

Oh, really?

I heard they had no longer
any need of our services.

Since when?

Since they signed an agreement
with Metron Consortium!

I also heard

that you hadn't even
opened negotiations

with the Verillian.

That's a lie.

And that

instead of doing your job...

you were off enjoying yourself
on Risa.

I can explain.

I don't want any explanations!

I put my faith in you
and you let me down.

As from now,
our relationship is terminated.

Hagath, can't we
just talk this over?

I made a mistake.

An expensive mistake.

Good-bye.

Are you still there?

Now, that was a most
unpleasant experience.

Shall we, uh, get back
to what we were talking about?

Evening, Cousin.

Business always this good?

I haven't had a single
Starfleet customer all day.

Come to think of it

nobody from the Federation
has come through those doors.

I must be off limits.

Quark, as long as we keep
the holosuite busy

you've got nothing
to worry about.

Which reminds me...

we have a very special client
arriving next week...

the Regent of Palamar.

Never heard of him.

He's very, very wealthy.

Can't wait to meet him.

He's also very particular
about how he's treated.

As well he should be.

After all, he's a Regent.

I have to say, Cousin,
you've done well.

And it couldn't come
at a better time...

for both of us.

Why is that?

I'm thinking
about stepping back...

taking it easy for a change.

You could take my place...
run things with Hagath.

You'd be earning a bigger
share of the profit.

Have you spoken to Hagath
about that?

He likes you, Quark.

And I like him.

I'd also like a bigger share
of the profits.

Then everyone's happy.

Except for Farrakk.

What about Farrakk?
Didn't you hear?

His ship blew up shortly
after he left the station.

Warp core breach!

That Hagath... what a temper.

What are you saying?

Hagath k*lled him?

You heard what he said, Cousin.

He doesn't like to be crossed.

Just make sure
you don't forget that.

Double snail juice,
extra smooth.

Good morning, Commander.

Mind if I join you?

Actually, I do.

That's okay.

I won't take it personally.

Quark, I'm busy.

I have to admit, I'm
a little disappointed in you.

I thought you of all people
would understand.

Understand what?

That you've finally shown
how despicable you truly are?

That you don't care
how many people die

as long as you make a profit?

Who said anything
about people dying?

The weapons I sell
are strictly defensive.

To be well armed
is a deterrent to w*r.

Don't you know anything
about the balance of power?

Quark, you don't really believe
any of that, do you?

Jadzia... there was
nothing else I could do.

I was drowning.

The waters were closing
over my head

and just as my lungs
were about to burst

my cousin threw me
a lifeline.

How could I possibly refuse?

Feeling a little guilty, Quark?

Guilty? Me?

I don't have anything
to feel guilty about.

Then why come to me
asking for forgiveness?

I've got good news, Chief.

Your son is fine.

Except he cries constantly
unless I'm holding him.

I've done every imaginable
test... eyes, ears

digestive, pulmonary
and nervous system.

There's nothing
medically wrong with him.

What are you telling me?
My baby's just sad?

Perhaps he's become
prematurely aware

of life's
existential isolation.

You're sure it's not a rash?

Look on the bright side.

He'll probably be
a great poet.

There's nothing
I can do for you, Chief.

Yes, there is.

What's wrong?

My neck.

Hold on.

I'll get a neural modulator.

Palamarian sea urchin

lightly sauteed with garlic
and moon grass.

Matopin rock fungi,
tossed on a bed of tartoc

and seasoned...
with clavisoa berries.

And, for the main course...

stuffed Wentlian congor snake.

All the Regent's
favorite dishes.

I obtained the recipes
through his palace chefs

in exchange
for a small gratuity.

Quark, may I ask you a question?

Go ahead.

Are you trying
to ruin me on purpose

or is this sheer incompetence?

Ruin you?
I don't want to ruin you.

Here we are, about
to open negotiations

with an important new client

and this is the welcome
you're prepared to give him?

They told me he'd like it.

This?
He's going to like this?!

Yes.

Hmm... well, he should.

It's delicious.

We had you going
there, didn't we?

Oh, you had him.

You definitely had him.

Quark, I love you.

It's magnificent.

All of it.

So glad you approve.

Well, that's enough fun
for now.

The Regent will be here shortly

and tonight, we are going
to make some money.

Nassuc was the finest officer
I ever had.

I took her out of the ranks
and made her a General.

In time, she would have
inherited my entire army.

And how does she pay me back?

By declaring independence
for her homeworld.

Betrayal...
it's the one unforgivable sin

especially when it's committed

by someone
you trusted implicitly.

Most arms dealers
wouldn't understand

such considerations.

They have no ideals,
no passions

except for lining
their own pockets.

I always felt
you were a man of honor.

You're all men of honor.

How very perceptive of you,
Regent.

Now... how can we help you?

I want to make an example
of Nassuc

and her followers.

I intend to eradicate
her entire city.

What kind of casualties
are you looking for?

Seven or eight million.

We can help you there.

But that's just the beginning.

Over the next couple of months

I would like
the death toll to rise

slowly but steadily.

Can you give us a figure?

About... 20 million.

Now, what would be
the most effective?

Prions?

Either that
or a mutagenic retrovirus.

What do you think, Quark?

28 million dead?

Can't we just wound
some of them?

I am here to buy weapons.

Are you here to sell them?

Absolutely.

Quark was just trying
to make a little joke

but unfortunately, Ferengi humor
doesn't translate too well.

So let's forgo
any further attempts

at, uh, jocularity, shall we?

And get down to the business.

Quark...

maybe I didn't
make myself clear.

I've been in the weapons
business 40 years.

I want to retire.

I don't blame you.

But I'm not going
to be able to retire

if my hand-picked successor
can't control his conscience.

The Regent is insane.

Stop being so judgmental.

It's his bank account,
not his mental health

you should be concerned with.

But 28 million people...
that just seems wrong.

If Hagath heard you
talk that way

he would toss you out
the nearest airlock.

Look out there.

Millions and millions of stars.

Millions upon millions
of worlds...

and right now, half of them
are fanatically dedicated

to destroying the other half.

Now, do you think

if one of those
twinkling little lights

suddenly went out,
anybody would notice?

Suppose I offered you

ten million bars
of gold-pressed latinum

to help turn out
one of those lights...

would you really tell me
to keep my money?

Hello, Quark.

You don't look so good.

That's because I'm dead.

Way to go, Quark.

I had my whole life ahead of me.

I didn't do anything!

You k*lled us all.

Now, hold on.

You can't blame me.

Deny it all you want.

You're responsible.

I hope it was worth it.

How much latinum
did they pay you?

Enough to buy a new conscience?

Why, Quark?

Why did you k*ll my baby?

This isn't my fault.

You lose.

No...

no.

No!

What have I done?

Chief, why is
the baby in the pit?

It's kind of hard
to explain, sir.

Try.

As soon as I took him

down there with me,
he fell asleep.

Could be the pattern
of the lights

the hum
of the optronic emitters

the vibrations
of the ODN relays...

I'm not sure.

But the point is,
he's not crying.

Yes.

Chief, why don't you take off

for a few days
until Keiko gets back?

I think we can manage
without you for that long.

That won't be necessary, sir.

I have the situation
well in hand.

What I'm trying to say is that
keeping Kirayoshi in the pit

is not an acceptable solution.

Find another one.

Yes, sir.

Sir?

Yes, Chief?

Could we wait till he wakes up
before we move him?

He only just dropped off.

Very well.

And then I want him
out of there.

Yes, sir.

Don't you people
have work to do?

What the hell
are you doing in here?

I want you to have this.

You broke into my quarters
to give me a tongo wheel?

Get out before I call security.

I'm going.

And take that thing with you.

I can't.

It's a gift.

Think you can buy back
my friendship?

It's not a bribe.

Chances are,
I won't be needing it anymore.

Good-bye, Dax.

Don't let the door hit you
on the way out.

Don't you want to know
where it is I'm going?

Not really.

What if I said it was dangerous?

Figures.

Doesn't matter.

Where I'm going,
you can't follow.

What I have to do,
I have to do alone.

One man who's had enough

who's going
to stand up and say...

Good-bye, Quark.

Nervous?

The worst Hagath can do

is k*ll you.

What's one life

compared to the lives
of 28 million people?

What do you mean,
you can't get your hands

on the mutagenic retrovirus?

Our supplier sold all he had
to the Minnobia

for their w*r against the Vek.

This isn't good.

I've just been
telling the Regent

that his shipment will be
delivered within a week.

He is leaving right now.

He is not going to be happy,
Quark!

I know.

He'll be stuck
with 28 million people

and no way to k*ll them.

I'm glad you're amused, Quark.

Lucky for us

I can get hold
of some Varaxian LM-7.

I can get hold
of some Varaxian LM-7.

Never heard of it.

It's a new biogenic w*apon

still in the experimental stage.

Is it effective?

They'll be dropping like flies.

Only trouble is...

I don't know
how much of it I can get.

Do you think the Regent
would be satisfied

with only 17 million people
k*lled?

Well, 17 million, um...

it's better than nothing.

Then what you

have to do is tell him
there's been a change of plans.

Tell him we have something new
to show him.

Might take a little longer
to get the results he wants

but we'll give him
a 20 percent discount.

In the meantime

I'll have a sample
of Varaxian LM-7 sent here

and we'll arrange
for a small demonstration.

We'll find a planet

with some low-level life-forms
on it nobody will miss.

I'll speak to the Regent,
try to keep him from leaving.

You make sure
you get this sample here

as soon as possible.

Don't fail me, Quark.

Believe me, I want
this deal to go through

more than anybody.

I'm finally out of debt.

These are the first profits
I get to keep.

Get going.

Don't look so unhappy.

The dabo tables

will still be there
when you get back.

But I was winning!

What could be
more important than that?

I told you there's somebody
I want you to meet.

Gaila

meet General Nassuc,
head of the Palamarian

Freedom Brigade.

Pleased to meet you.

We need to talk.

Will you excuse us
for just a moment?

What is that female
doing on the station?

I invited her.

Are you crazy?

She's the Regent's mortal enemy.

Does he know she's here?

Does Hagath?

Of course not.

You are scaring me, Cousin.

Relax.

I know selling weapons
to opposing sides is dangerous

but as you said yourself,
"The riskier the road..."

Don't quote the Rules
of Acquisition to me!

If Hagath finds out
we're doing this behind his back

we'll wind up
as dead as Farrakk!

Only if we fail,
and we're not going to fail.

We're going to sell
Varaxian LM-7

to both the Regent
and the General.

Is she interested?

Oh, she jumped at the chance.

She's as crazy as the Regent.

Both sides will poison
each other

we'll double our profits

and Hagath...
will be very happy.

But what if they
see one another?

Realize what we're doing?

It's a busy station.

We'll keep them far apart.

Just think of all that latinum.

What do you want me to do?

Keep the General occupied
for 20 minutes.

Then take her to Cargo Bay 5.

I'll meet you there.

Open it!

You heard him.

That's odd.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Right, Quark?

The code sequencer
isn't working.

Then fix it.

Right away.

I just need to get
a descrambler.

And then, while I'm at it

I'll get a bottle
of champagne...

to celebrate.

Forget about the champagne.

Just get here
as quickly as possible.

Whatever you say.

He'll be back shortly.

Quark, where are you going?

Um, I'll be right back.

I just have to get
a descrambler.

After you.

Hagath!
What's she doing here?

Attention, all personnel.

There are reports of phaser fire
in Cargo Bay 5!

Seal the area!

You're with me!
Double-time!

Good afternoon, Commander.

Chief, my schedule shows

you were supposed
to begin modifying

the deflector array
aboard the Defiant today.

I'm sorry, sir.

The Captain thought
I could use a few days' leave

so I decided
to take him up on it.

To care for your son.

Looking after a baby
can be a full-time job.

Here, do me a favor.

Just hold him for a minute.

I, uh, have to get his bottle.

Now, he-he may cry
for a bit, but it's okay.

There's nothing wrong with him.

But, Chief, l-I need to...

Just be a minute.

What is the matter?

The baby.

He's not crying.

He's not crying.

Here.

Shh.

I never saw my son
when he was this age.

It is something
I will always regret.

You are a fortunate man,
Chief.

Chief?

You're facing some serious
charges here, Quark...

incitement to riot,
endangering the public safety

disregard...

How was I supposed to know

everyone was going
to start sh**ting?

I just wanted them
to cross paths

so that the deal
would fall through.

It fell through, all right.

Hagath and Gaila barely managed
to get off the station alive.

I hear General Nassuc sent a
purification squad after them.

I wouldn't count on seeing your
former business partners again.

I can live with that.

What about the Regent's death?

The Regent's dead?

A purification squad caught up
with him this morning.

I can live with that, too.

And I can think
of 28 million other people

who won't mind, either.

28 million and one.

So... about those charges.

Surely we can come up
with some sort of accommodation.

That depends.

On what?

This is what it's going

to cost to repair
the cargo bay.

That much?

That much.

Well... maybe we could come up

with some sort
of installment plan?

Works for me.

Retreat.

Acquire.

Confront.

Evade.

The risk is at ten

with a purchase of seven
and a sale of 14.

Ah, nice move.

But then you always had a knack
for getting out of tight spots.

It's a gift.

Mm-hmm.

Now, about my tongo wheel...

It's not your tongo wheel.

You gave it to me, remember?

I know that I gave it to you,
but at the time, I...

I'm not giving it back...

and that's final.

Confront.

Retreat.