01x01 - The Unheavenly Host

[bunniefuu]

The Kingdom Hospital
rests on ancient marshland

where the bleaching
ponds once lay.

Here the bleachers moistened
their great spans of cloth.

The steam evaporating
from the wet cloth

shrouded the place
in permanent fog.

Centuries later
the hospital was built here.

The bleachers gave way
to doctors and researchers,

the best brains in the nation
and the most perfect technology.

To crown their work they called
the hospital The Kingdom.

Now life was to be charted,
and ignorance and superstition

never to shake
the bastions of science again.

Perhaps their arrogance
became too pronounced,

and their persistent
denial of the spiritual.

For it is as if the cold
and damp have returned.

Tiny signs of fatigue are appearing
in the solid, modern edifice.

No living person knows it yet,
but the gateway to the Kingdom

is opening once again.

The Unheavenly Host

Hook? Has anyone
come in from that ambulance?

Haven?t the foggiest.

lt?s weird ... Look at it!

There you are!

Lovely, eh?

Do you think it?s weird, too?

She?s in there. One of yours.

Good evening.
Good evening.

My name?s J?rgen Hook,
and l?m a neurosurgeon.

My name?s Sigrid Drusse.
... Are you a good doctor?

No problem there.
Your hand?s acting up?

Yes, pins and needles.

And l need it for my pendulum.

The patient complains
of pins and needles ...

Mrs. Drusse, you?re back again!
Yes.

My arm. l?m going to
the neurosurgical ward.

lt?s very difficult
to get a place there.

Say hello to my son
when he gets to work ...

Hello.
Hello.

Someone was crying.
From the children?s ward.

The lift passes it.

No, no, it was as if
someone was on top of the lift.

l see.

ls this neurosurgery?
Yes.

lt?s hard to get a place here.

The little girl has
revealed herself to the old lady.

Where did it happen?

ln the lift.
ln the lift?

My name is Helmer.
Consultant neurosurgeon.

The flagstone must be
put right immediately.

Or there?ll be an accident.
Can l speak to your boss?

He?s not here.

Helmer?s obviously not coming.
Let?s start.

He has a heavy case load.
We can?t expect him on the dot.

He has no neurological complaint,

so the state of his case load
is irrelevant.

l admitted Mrs. Drusse with paresis
or paraesthesiae in her right arm.

l propose a CT scan.

OK.

You know that only the consultant
neurosurgeon can book a CT scan.

Fix it, will you?

The hospital can?t grind to a halt
just because Helmer wants a liein.

l see. And where do you
think your boss might be?

l did hear about a
water pipe that burst this morning.

The water is leaking
beneath the car park.

Excuse me, aren?t you in charge
of the sleep laboratory?

Yes. lnterested?
Sure am.

Where?s the morning conference?
lt?s over.

We didn?t think you were coming,
so l considered ...

You considered, did you?

When Professor Moesgaard
has his private clinic,

the conference begins
when l get here

and ends when l leave.

Sit down. Last night.
Any new admissions?

The door.
Thank you.

New admissions, l said!
Yes, a Mrs. Drusse.

With paresis and paraesthesiae
of the right arm. She has ...

She has? Has what?

She has been sent
for a CT scan.

Pardon?

Mrs Drusse has been
sent for a CT scan.

A CT scan.

There is one person at
this hospital with the right

to book a CT scan.
And that, l humbly submit,

is the consultant neurosurgeon.

l considered ...

Considered ... ls there
a word for budget in Danish?

Must l spell it out? BUD ...

Rigmor! How far

does the humiliation go

in this accursed country?
Can you tell me?

No, Stig.

Cancel that scan instantly.

l?m afraid it?s impossible.

She?s already in the scanner.

Mummy.

You can?t do this to me.
Hello, Bulder.

You promised you?d
never do it again.

Mummy, this hospital
is where l work.

Yes, but this time l think
l really am ill, Bulder.

Come on, Mummy.
Porter? Lay out the patient.

Gently does it.

Now go.

ln we go.
Thank you so much.

Hello, Helmer.

Good you?re here.

Something very, very
serious has occurred.

Goodness!

Junior registrar Hook
has booked a CT scan.

lllness is always a sad business.

But we must get used to the
fact that this is a hospital

surrounded by patients,
however difficult it may be.

You know what
a blessing a CT scan can be.

Yes, but since when
has a junior registrar

had the right to book one?
They?re the prerogative

of the consultant neurosurgeon.
l demand

that there
be consequences!

Helmer, keep your shirt on.
He may not be the best doctor

but in his own way
he?s rather an asset.

For a junior registrar
to be able to book a CT scan

is absurd.

Helmer, the best way
for you to settle in here

is probably not by instigating
disciplinary proceedings.

l am fond of Hook
and l am sure you will be, too.

Take a pew.

What do you say
to this ... logo?

l?ve called our new human resources
plan ??Operation Morning Breeze??.

We must be receptive to new ideas
as regards patients and staff.

l rather feel
the sun symbolises all that ...

And this is
Operation Morning Breeze?

Like it?
No.

Shall we have stickers made?

Yes ... perhaps.

You?re the boss.

You do know
why Helmer?s here?

No Swedish hospital
will touch him.

Why not?

He had some researchers
in his last department

who did fantastic work.
He published it as his own.

That?s just a rumour.
No, it?s not.

Moesgaard read his
article in The Lancet.

l don?t think he even
wrote the article himself.

l like your coat.

lt?s just like yours.

You look better in yours.
Busy tonight?

l?ve got to study.
l?ve got to.

All that research
can?t be good for you.

Or is it personal?

Do l offend you?
You?re always so busy when l ask.

Where does the junior registrar
think he?s going?

Home to bed.
l?ve been on duty for 12 hours.

lf your boots are big enough
for you to book a CT scan

they?re big enough for you
to attend Xray conference.

Now we will purify this room

and all of us here

from the larum of the living.

Are there any spirits here?

lf there are any spirits here

announce your presence!

Yes ...

Yes.

We?ve just time for the
acute scan on Mrs. Drusse.

Forgive a slightly ignorant
man before we proceed ...

... but how much does
a CT scan actually cost?

Pretty cheap, l expect?

Pretty expensive.

lndeed? Expensive? How much?

10,000.

Goodness!
What a bargain!

Specially as we?re living
in a financial crisis.

Let?s see if we got anything.

No, as l would have expected.

Not even a fly dropping.

Look ... junior registrar ...

Here is an illustration
of the brain of a malingerer

to stick in your wee scrap book.

There is somebody ...

He is seeking into this circle.

Where is she?

Eh?
26.

He is getting closer.

He is small, hairy ...

... primitive.

What?s this?

??Please do not disturb Mummy.
On behalf of the spirits ...??

A disgusting man.
Oh, Oh!

Excuse me, ladies!

l am wholly to blame.

Sister? Who?s that?
ls that Mrs. Drusse?

Yes.

Here is a picture of her nut.

There is some grey matter
slopping about inside it

known by the ignorant
as her brain.

l understand she is a
kind of spiritual leader

for these more or
less terminal ladies?

A status she doesn?t deserve.
lt?s all bluff

on the part of
this poor numskull

like the illness she feigns
to gain a bit of attention.

Admitted 25 times ...

25 times
at this hospital alone.

A malingerer.

A damned malingerer!

l have been to hospital a lot.
But l am very ill.

lll? You are ill?
Yes.

You are ill.

??The patient says her arm
is weak and tingling??.

That?s a quote.

From
A General Textbook in Neurology.

Available at any public library,

any kindergarten.

Look ... ??The arm
feels weak and tingling??.

Et cetera.

Next time you want
to malinger in my ward,

l?d be bloody grateful
if you?d refrain

from quoting directly from
A General Textbook in Neurology.

Sister! Discharge
this patient forthwith.

ldiot!

Who the hell was that?
Professor Moesgaard?s son.

He?s a medical student.

The professor expects
great things of him.

lndeed.

Staff only

Hello, Camilla.

Thank you, Mogge.
A rose.

You?re wasting your money ...
But you said ...

l?m too old for you.
Find a fellow student.

You?re the one l love.

l?m not running round
with a medical student.

The Moesgaards never give up.
You?ll have to.

You pain me.

Do l?
Yes. l may do something rash.

Such as?
Top myself.

l bet!
Are those your last words?

Run along now,
l?ve got work to do.

Sleep Laboratory

Stig ...

You can be a bit brusque,
you know.

But do you know why l love you?

Would you like to know?

l love you because
you are a great man.

All the others are so tiny ...

When are you going to move
your things into my place?

l have to get settled first.

My little August Strindberg!
You do have his curls ...

You know l don?t like it
when you touch my hair.

Stig, we need a holiday.

Haiti.
l so much want to go.

Book a table, then.

Haiti? Down there among the ...

What the hell would we do there?
History, voodoo, naturopathy.

Pardon? What did you just say?

Nothing.
l heard you!

Say it!

Say it now!
Naturopathy.

l don?t ask you to
respect much in my company,

but there are some words
l?d ask you to avoid.

Maybe my company
doesn?t mean that much ...

l only meant ...
Naturopathy!

You are a doctor.
A scientist.

Go and wash out
your mouth with soap!

You?re an old fuss pot.
This book ...

... will give you
a better idea of Haiti.

There?ll be no reading here.
Spirits! To hell with them!

General Textbook in Neurology
Maybe he was right.

Maybe l am just an old fool.

Tell me, Bulder,
am l a failure as a mother?

No, no ...

You are lots of things.

A bit of a nutter now and then,

but l?m very fond of you.

You?re a good boy, Bulder.

l?ll run you home.
No need.

l?ll get a number 10 bus.
Kind of you to offer, though.

Where did you get the chairs from?

Mummy? The chairs ...

Hello?

Hello.

Hello?
Hello?

This is the engineer.
ls anything the matter?

No, l pressed a button by mistake.
And it stopped.

Press the floor you want
and it?ll start again.

Casualty

Hello, l?m afraid l?m poorly again.

You!

Come here!

Are you afraid?

No.

Would you mind if
l touched your face?

No, thanks.

You!

Stand right next to him.

Closer!

Closer, closer, closer.
l don?t like it.

Like it!

Do you think the people
who lie on this table like it?

Will they like it
when we begin to cut them up?

l don?t know.

l say that the fear of being touched,
of getting close to others,

is the fear of death.

Why? Because it is the fear ...

... of the fellowship.

The fellowship.
Every time

you move along the seat
on the bus to avoid contact

every time you avoid poking your
fingers into a patient?s illness

it?s fear of the fellowship.

That greater fellowship.

Everyone we work on down here
has accepted his place

in the fellowship.

A corpse makes no demands.

With sublime generosity
a corpse delivers its body

to the science
that belongs to all of us.

New legislation requires us
to obtain the relatives? consent

if we want to dissect a corpse.

Legislation which may make
our work more difficult,

but if we ask
openly and reasonably,

nobody can argue that a
dissection does not make sense.

The law of the living
requires us to ask first.

The law of the dead is to give.
That invokes respect.

Right, the first incision.

Hello, we?re from neurosurgery.

l think the patient
is still in the bathroom.

Mrs. Drusse?
Having problems?

No, no, my waterworks
are a bit dodgy, that?s all.

My name?s Judith.
From Neurosurgery.

l think we?d better sit down.

When l tried to get out my bus pass
l couldn?t feel my hand.

Perhaps something is wrong,
after all.

l?ll have to test you
with some needles.

Look the other way.

Can you feel this?
No.

Can you feel this?
No.

Yes, your hand
is a bit cold.

Did you notice
he looked like you?

You think so?
To a T.

You?re right.

Have you understood nothing, lad?

The dead don?t mind
giving us a bit of light relief.

He who cannot take
pathology seriously

cannot take life seriously.

Evening is coming.

And the girl is in the lift again.

Now she is there,
and now she is not.

Yes, events
keep repeating themselves.

All the time.

lt?s spooky.

Yes, it is.
lt is spooky.

l can take the lift up by myself.

There, there,
my dear ...

l?m with you again.

l have come to help you.

Just what is going on?

There, there, my dear.

Childish is what it is.
Childish and eccentric.

The most important doctors here
are members of the lodge.

You couldn?t be in finer company.

Moesgaard must really
believe in you to put you up.

And even from little men?s
shoulders you can see far.

??Operation Morning Breeze??
and the ??Sons of the Kingdom??!

They might help you.
They help each other, the lodge.

lf that operation on Mona goes
to the General Medical Council ...

l don?t want to hear
another word about Mona.

Why do you keep brushing me?
Have l dandruff? Am l losing my hair?

Leave me alone ...

Have a nice time, dear.

Doctors and patients sharing lifts!
lt?s unconscionably embarrassing.

ln Sweden doctors
have their own lifts,

and nobody finds it strange.

l borrowed it from a porter.

Hello.
Hello.

May l walk about a bit?
Nothing wrong with my legs.

We?ll see.

What is that meant to mean?
Are you a complete idiot?

Stop it!
What a thing to do!

l merely thought you were being
introduced to the lodge tonight.

What has that got
to do with the lodge?

l just meant mind your nose.

ln 1986 Dr. Lindemann
severely damaged his.

The ritual isn?t without its risks.

Sons of the Kingdom

Maybe it won?t be that bad.

Venerable Elder, beloved brethren!

A duckling has come home.
Salute, my brethren, salute!

Hi, Hook, thanks for the booze.
No trouble.

Duckling, raise thy wing.

Repeat after me.
l swear eternal allegiance

to the Sons of the Kingdom,
my honourable brethren ...

... and l swear to put their
wellbeing and articles

before
anything else ...

l swear to put their articles and
wellbeing before anything else.

l swear allegiance
to the physical sciences

and enmity to the
occult in all its forms ...

... and enmity to the
occult in all its forms.

And now the ritual!

A real shame.
This hasn?t happened since 1986.

How are you feeling?

There she is again.
Who?

Drusse, the malingerer.

Which accursed multiple idiot
has admitted her this time?

l have. Judith examined her.
Obvious paraesthesiae.

l?ve admitted her for observation
for a week. lsn?t that reasonable?

Of course.
You?re the professor.

You know
what?s reasonable, of course.

lf they?ve patched you up now,
come back to the brethren.

The rest is just festivities,
no more rituals.

l am very grateful.

Don?t hold the patient
when he gets up.

Shall we try? With all due respect,

in Sweden we try to maintain
a patina of civilisation

and concentrate our
festive activities

around serious,
traditional occasions.

So l have heard.
Crayfish, that sort of thing?

Oh, yes, l have a request.

That operation you performed
on ... Mona somethingorother.

She suffered
permanent brain damage.

That can happen when you
rummage about in people?s brains.

My dearest chap ... l know, l know.

But l have to see
her mother tonight.

l fear she is going to
lodge a formal complaint.

The medical stuff is a bit above
her head. l promised you?d see her.

At once?
Splendid idea.

She?s come to see her daughter
tonight. Turn on your charm.

lt?s all part of ??Operation
Morning Breeze??, after all.

Oh, Mona, Mona, Mona,
when will l see the day

When l dare to take your pulse
without running away ...

Bulder!
Mummy!

Drinking after hours?
You should be at home.

l could say the same thing to you.

Somebody was calling out.

Mummy!
lt?s not what you think.

Somebody was crying
in the lift shaft.

l think it was a little girl.

l couldn?t just leave her.
l had to get readmitted.

Maybe l?ve made contact.
For the first time!

lmagine spending a lifetime
trying to contact the spirit world

and then succeeding in a lift

without even meaning to!

lsn?t it exciting?
Have you seen any funny goingson?

Yes, l have ...
No, no, no!

Bulder, we?ve got to
get into that lift shaft.

No, Mummy.

Oh, l never
imagined you?d help me.

l?m not going to.

l?m still upset about
the fuss you made in May 1968.

What fuss was that?

Eh, Bulder?
Did you take to the streets?

You might call it that.
l left home.

Well, l was 28, Mummy.

You never said a word about
not liking living at home.

You really upset me.

l did move back again
a week later.

How is your mother now?
My mother d*ed years ago.

How nice for you!

What if there?s nobody in that
lift shaft? Because there isn?t.

ln that case ...

... l?ll hang up my pendulum.

Completely?
No more seances?

Since it means so much to you.

Porter?s office ...

What?s this about
a favour l owe you?

Camilla is on duty.

Just give her the bag
with my regards.

Tell her l?m sorry,
but it was the only way out.

Just tell her.
What are you going on about?

Just give her the bag.

Hello, Christian.
Hello. This is from Mogge.

He says he?s sorry.
l don?t want anything from him.

He asked me to give you the bag.

Tell him to come and
fetch his present again.

He obviously
hasn?t got the message.

She?s got it.
Did she open it?

No.
Why not?

l don?t know.
Can l go back to bed?

Excuse me ... l talked to
Dr. Hook about coming here.

l should have been in theatre today
but l can?t stomach it.

He thought this place
would be more my cup of tea.

Medical students have to
observe operations some time.

l know.
Just not today.

OK. Hang your coat over there.
Thanks.

Good evening.

My name is Dr. Helmer.

l don?t understand Swedish.

Try again.
l am Dr. Helmer.

Try again ...

Come on, Darling.
Jolly good!

Swallow it now ...

There.

Sister, this lady doesn?t
understand my accent.

Will you interpret?
lf l can.

l am the doctor who
operated on your daughter.

This is the doctor
who operated on Mona.

l know.

She knows.
Thank you.

l do understand
what the lady says.

One more time ...
Mona?

Come on, Darling ...

Mona ...

Little Mona ...

How is Mona?

How is she?

See for yourself.
She?ll never get better.

There are a few things you
should know about her operation.

There are a few things you
should know about her operation.

l have talked to a doctor.
Which one?

This kind of thing must never
happen. You?ve taken her from me.

l?d rather she had d*ed.

l?m sorry, my pet ...

l?m sorry ...
Don?t touch me.

l?m complaining, even if you say
you?re sorry you made a mistake.

You are accusing me
of making a mistake?

Here we have the patient?s mother,
accusing me

consultant neurosurgeon Helmer,
of making a mistake.

There is such a thing as libel,
even in this accursed land.

l have opened a few
skulls in my time.

That snotnosed kid
wasn?t the first.

When things are sad,
the children cry.

When things are sorrowful,
the grownups cry.

But what are things
when the building begins to cry?

What is the old lady doing?

She wants to get to the little girl.

lsn?t she scared?

No, not any more.

ls the building crying?

The building began
crying long ago.

Call it land of angels
or heavenly soil ...

Thank you,
O Swedish watch towers!

With your plutonium we?ll force
the Danes to their knees.

Here, Denmark.
Shat out of chalk and water.

There, Sweden.

Hewn out of granite.

Danish scum.

Danish scum!

Her fingers seemed to be
scratching through the roof

to get to me.

Get away, damn it!

The water has
undermined everything.

Dear viewers, allow me to thank you
for coming with us to the Kingdom.

We?ve kicked off cautiously
so as not to leave anyone behind.

But from the next episode
things hot up considerably.

There is something
very wrong here

and a voice
is crying out.

How often do voices cry out to you?
And how often

do you hold out your hand
to them? Often? Rarely? Never?

But this programme
is confined to the imagination

and we can never approach
the real life God has created.

The most inventive artist
is but an ant at his feet.

My name is Lars von Trier and
l wish you a very good evening.

Should you wish to spend
more time with us at the Kingdom

be prepared to take
the Good with the Evil ...