02x01 - Death on the Operation Table

[bunniefuu]

We are here all together
But someone isn?t here

Danish scum!

l love you. l planned this.
Me? With a medical student?

l may do something silly.

l advise you to put that head back.

Salute, my brethren, salute!

Go, go, go, go!

l need your father?s liver
for my research.

This doctor wants
to cut daddy up, Mummy.

lf the liver is transplanted
ownership comes to me.

He wants to have the
hepatosarcoma inside him.

We must close him up.
With a cancerous liver?

Cuckoo, cuckoo, faldera.

My darling.
Such things mustn?t happen.

You?ve taken her from me.
Mona?s mother?s complained.

The report says Mona?s
blood pressure was too low

for 20 minutes.
No wonder she?s soft in the head.

We must get it ...

l am very interested
in the poison from Haiti

that turns people into zombies.

We must look good tomorrow night
when the minister arrives.

Good evening, Minister.
Something?s wrong with your baby.

lt?d be fun to meet the father.

He had suitcases.
And he wasn?t alone.

Here it is.
Stig Helmer!

You rat!

Ambulance 12 ...

l wish him only the best.

After all, he?s my little brother.

This is our examination room.

There is nothing
of any interest in here.

To me, ??Morning Breeze??
looks more like a draught.

A severed head is of
no apparent value to anyone.

Go in peace ...

Brick up the hole!
... Oh, no! lt was open too long!

The Kingdom Hospital
rests on ancient marshland

where the bleaching
ponds once lay.

Here the bleachers moistened
their great spans of cloth.

The steam from the cloth shrouded
the place in permanent fog.

Then the hospital
was built here.

The bleachers gave way
to doctors, researchers,

the best brains in the nation
and the most perfect technology.

To crown their work they called
the hospital The Kingdom.

Now life was to be charted,

and ignorance and superstition
never to shake science again.

Perhaps their arrogance
became too pronounced,

like their persistent
denial of the spiritual.

For it is as if the cold
and damp have returned.

Tiny signs of fatigue are appearing
in the solid, modern edifice.

No living person knows it yet,
but the portal to the Kingdom

is opening once again.

What was that?

What was what?

l got a picture.
l thought l knew it all.

Yet l know nothing.

A picture?

They?re looking at the Kingdom.
The evil eyes.

The little girl found peace.
l thought that was enough.

But nothing will ever be
the same after the scream.

The scream at the Kingdom?

Everything is decaying
... and nobody notices.

God!

l?m sorry.
l?m a bit ...

Worried.
Yes.

Something along those lines.

Things are not as they should be.
Not at all.

l know it sounds like old hat.

But l can?t help feeling
there is more need for me here now

than ever before

and l?m making a royal
mistake in popping off now.

Take care now, Mrs Drusse.
Know the expression ??spellbound???

Perhaps l?m spellbound by
the Kingdom, like everyone else.

There does seem to be rather
a spell on it, doesn?t there?

CASUALTY

Drusse ... the ambulance
was out again last night.

That shouldn?t be, should it?
How peculiar ...

Wasn?t that meant to
be over and done with?

Yes ...

Look out!

Look out!

Look out!

Look out!

What is going on?

What are all
the halfdead doing here?

This is the very
artery of the department

and passage
must never be impeded.

What is this?

lt?s an empty bed unit.
Empty bed units must be filled.

A chicken would understand that.
But not you.

Good morning.

Bloody hell!
That was a short trip to Haiti.

l?m knackered.

A drop of coffee?

Thanks.

Yes, thanks.

Yes ...

Of course,
you?ve been up all night,

snaffling bathrobes
and other hot property?

Now we can relax, eh?
Stig!

Hi, Stig!

What are you doing?
Just having a tiny cup of coffee.

lt was a short trip to Haiti,
don?t you think, Rigmor?

Short, long, who can say?

Leave a dog a fortnight,
it thinks you?re gone 15 minutes.

Hook isn?t
interested in dogs.

He?s knackered.
Bollocked.

No, no, no, no, stop that!

That belongs to Hook.
l don?t need a spoon.

Coffee?s great stuff

l?ve said enough

Coffee?s my char
Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah

lt?s the best drink in Sweden by far.

You having two cups?

No, here ...

l?m tired as hell.

l?ve been sitting with
Judith for 48 hours now.

No, l?ll go and have
a last peep at her.

No coffee until management
has presented its report.

Surely l can decide that, damn it!

Alas, alas, alas.

Was that the report?

We are still waiting
for the management?s report.

How did Morning Breeze
go down with the minister?

Morning Breeze is fresh and clear,
Not bad, my dear ...

Excuse me, Stig.

Will you take over my
management duties for a bit

while l pick up the pieces?
And it is more Swedish,

all that formal stuff.

Thank you, Stig.

Let?s have some coffee.
That?s what always happens.

Now l?m getting angry.
l come back from holiday

and offer my colleagues coffee,
but will you drink it? No.

One wants it black, one wants it
white, one wants milk.

lt?s not easy for me as a Swede.
You lot are never satisfied.

The minister of health had
a tiny accident while he was here.

He fell and bumped his head.
He?s coming to our department.

Professor Helmer, you must fill in
the blue needs analysis.

The parliamentary committee can?t
finish its white paper without it.

The deadline was the first.

What the hell is this?
Who are you?

Mrs Svendsen,
Professor Moesgaard?s secretary.

We?ll see quite
a bit of each other

now that Professor Moesgaard
has transferred admin to you.

l?m looking forward to
some strict Swedish formalities

for a change.

Ouch ...

l?ve been to see him.
He is well.

You can see him.

l don?t want to see him.
l wish he?d die.

Move all the patients
into the bed units.

The units are G keyed.

l moved the beds out this morning.
l know.

Tomorrow is bed count day!
Yes, but help us anyway.

You?re all going back again.

There and back,
is just as far.

Hello there! l suppose you?re
moving them into the units?

Yeah.

Moving them into the units!

Bed count day.

Bed count day?
... isn?t that tomorrow?

Why so formal? l happened to be
passing, so let?s count today!

How many beds are in use,
how many vacant?

Our norm is 69 beds.
Three units have been Goldkeyed

in accordance with
the standing agreement.

64 occupied beds means

l think you are mistaken.

lf a consultant desires

he can use the Gold Key
to shut off one or more bed units.

Nothing wrong with that.
lt goes on all over the hospital.

l know.

That means

as Gkeyed units don?t
count as available capacity.

if l may address you by your title.

lf l tell you the beds
are back in their units

which thus cannot
have been Gkeyed ...?

Stop, for God?s sake!

You?re putting patients
into the empty units!

What on earth ...
Professor Helmer told us to.

??Corridors mustn?t be blocked??.
What rotten luck, Moesgaard!

But if you can allow so much
breeze between the beds ...

Bob!
Bob is a game of wooden rings.

At this hospital, the CEO
is to be addressed as DG.

Mummy?

Mummy?

Mummy?

She?d only just got out.

What the devil
have you done, Mummy?

Stop looking at me!

Go, go, go ...

Sons of the Kingdom

... go, go, go ...

This is getting to be a tradition.

Two breachers of the peace
from the management!

l had heard rumours
of a gathering place.

But l didn?t realise the lodge
convened in a detergent store.

lt?s not like you gentlemen to
be so humble in your requirements.

Assisted by Nivesen,
l intend to investigate

every nook and cranny
of the hospital.

l promise you
a bloody great purge.

You are threatening the lodge?
Threatening?

l have merely come to inform
Moesgaard of his bed norm.

60 beds, Moesgaard.

Rustle up some patients for them,
too, or we?ll cut even deeper.

60.
That smarts, eh?

l am also considering
deactivating the Gold Keys.

l have reason to believe
that they are being used

in order to inflate
occupancy figures.

lf needs be, l could
demand ??ordinary standards?? here.

You can?t be serious.

This is the leading hospital
in the country in every respect.

lncluding the cost of a bed.
??Ordinary standards???

An efficiency level our
provincial hospitals have to meet.

lt would be a severe blow to us.
Good day to you.

Was it such a good idea
to goad the brethren?

They may close ranks.
Consultants? Close ranks? Ha!

Go to the deer park in autumn.
Observe the rutting stags.

They clash antlers,
but they?ve no white coats.

That?s the only difference.

Order!

Can?t you get them clean?

lt?s like the evil eyes.

lf what you see looks evil,

what is to blame for that evil?

Your glasses? Or you?

My glasses.

l need new ones.

But you will remember the evil
after the glasses have gone.

Hook, l?ve something to tell you.

Hey, hi, Mogge.

You haven?t been at work for ages.

l just don?t get it.

Why has Helmer been so chirpy
since he got back from Haiti?

l still have
the anaesthesia report, after all.

Mogge, you must find out
what he?s got up his sleeve.

Like heck l will!

From here it sounded as if you
said ??no??, and a cheeky no at that.

You heard right, you old pusher!

Mogge, damn it, that upsets me.
Can?t we talk about it?

l?ve nothing to talk to you about.
The head has gone

in case you hadn?t
checked your fridge.

l?d noticed. But l thought our
partnership went deeper than that.

When a Moesgaard shrugs off
the yoke, he shrugs off the yoke.

Anyway, that head would never
have got me into hot water.

No link can be proved
between me and the head.

Apart from a certain likeness.

So you won?t assist me any more?

l shouldn?t think so.

OK, Mogge.
That?s OK, it really is.

Mogge, damn it, l?m sorry if l pushed
you into anything you didn?t like.

BLOOD RED BLACKMAlL

l hate anyone
to go away emptyhanded.

Generous of you
to see it that way, Hook.

Has Helmer told you, Rigmor?

60? lt?s absolute hell.

Ulrich 124, Lindemann 98.

Bennesen 102,
and then Moesgaard, 60.

Utterly insignificant.

That?s the thanks l get
for Operation Morning Breeze.

Perhaps we could keep
our patients a bit longer?

Make them
take up more room?

l am not on form,
not after that evening.

What makes a badger
react every time?

Such a peaceful creature.

Going for a hunter?s leg
cannot be a conscious act.

l think it is rage.

Or disappointment at not being
allowed its place in this world.

l don?t know if l can take all this.

You men are such ninnies!

l?ve better things
to do than wipe your nose.

lf you want help,
turn to the professionals.

You think l should
seek psychiatric help?

Oh, our family may have
had a few problems.

Let?s just call it
a form of insanity.

But psychiatric help?
No Moesgaard has ever sought that.

Call it what you like.

What about Ole?
Why not try him?

Ole?

Ladies? Ole.
He?ll see right through you.

He?ll peel you like a banana.

Really?

l think you should see him.

There, there ...

He has some ... deformities.

You can do it.
Yes, you can.

Will you come with me?
Yes, of course l will.

Hi, Pop.

Hello, my boy.
What are you doing down here?

Down here?
ln the dumps?

lf someone had used words like
confused and conflictshy

about your old dad yesterday
you?d have laughed in his face.

??Not our old Moesgaard??.

But today?
... Alas.

By the way, l?ve fixed it

for Helmer to be your
external examiner for your viva.

lt?s one of management?s
little consolation prizes

being able to fiddle such things.

You think it will help?
You bet!

When you?re on top of
each other all day long?

Normally l oppose nepotism.
But this ...

... is from me to you.

We Moesgaards pull together.

Mogge, have you heard?
Bondo?s turned down a new liver.

So his tumor can grow.

Here.

Wow! l?ve never seen this one.

l am sorry

that l have not been
able to keep up my teaching.

But now l?m raring to go.

l know what you?re thinking.

What an old fool!

What a load of pathetic twaddle just
for a slice of tumor in a microscope!

Maybe l am a romantic old fool.

You are young and still have
your clarity of sight and all.

Damn it, what is
the matter with you?

Can?t you accept an apology?

Yes?

We have discussed this in class.
... We agreed to put it this way:

We would like to express our
profound respect for your research

and the sacrifice
you are making for medical science.

ls that really
the attitude of this class?

Bulder?

What is that l hear?

Nothing.

That?s what you told WulffHansen
at the ear clinic in Virum in 1959.

You were not a pretty sight with
those poultices round your head.

We?re taking you to neurosurgery,
Mummy, for an operation.

Well, l always said l was ill.

Can you really not hear anything?

lt?s the wind blowing
through the corridors.

No, my boy,
it is the voice of the hospital.

Sure, Mummy.

Excuse me, do you know if
psychiatry has premises down here?

No.
Thank you.

QUlET lF GROUP

Come back inside!
No! l?ll die!

Like heck! We don?t say no
when the drum is calling.

The drum?s your friend, damn it.
No! l?ll die!

No, you won?t.

What do you want, Whitecoat?

Excuse me, l was looking
for a psychiatrist called Ole.

But this seems
to be the wrong place.

A psychiatrist?
l?m no damned psychiatrist.

Psychiatry is a plague
only exceeded by surgery.

lf you ask me for a lollipop
should l give you a lollipop?

You?ll get no
damned lollipops from me.

Go to your
psychiatrists and surgeons.

l?m going to die,
l?m going to die.

Like heck! Nobody dies
when the drum is calling.

The malingerer!
... She?s almost convincing.

Rigmor!

Rigmor, you aren?t
at all cross ... or angry ...

... or slightly miffed?

l was just thinking
it all happened so suddenly.

And to Haiti of all places!
lt was kind of your place.

And you were
expecting your surprise.

What is there to be angry about?

You must let the one you love
have his freedom.

You are the way you are
and that?s what l love.

Little Rigmor, we ought to go away.

We need it, both of us.

Unfortunately
my Volvo?s at the garage.

You should ask them
for a courtesy car.

lt?s normal service in Denmark.

l am and always will
be your little badger.

A soft, cuddly badger
that bites till the bone goes crunch.

Hunters used to put
charcoal in their boots

so the badger would think
it had crushed the bone.

Why all this animal talk?
Stop it.

There?s a good girl.
All right?

Thanks.

ls she going to lie here alone?

l don?t want her left on her own.

Someone should be with her
when she?s so ill.

l see, a relative.

Some advice:
never be seized by panic.

Giving in to your
entire range of emotions

won?t bring your
relative closer back to life.

Think what would happen if l let
myself be affected by what l see!

Disease, misfortune and misery all
day long! Now wouldn?t that be nice!

But it?s mummy.

Just because you are a doctor
you can get ill, you know!

Quite, quite, quite.
Thank you.

Just because you are
a doctor you can get ill ...

Obviously!

Just because you?re a doctor
you can get ill ...

Mummy ...

Where were you?

Oh, my darling ...

Mummy ...

Helmer is going to be
our external examiner.

Why tell me? lt?s your problem.
l know the syllabus.

lt?s a real bummer.
l?ll have to think of something.

Science.

Science.

You don?t have much idea
about girls, eh, Christian?

Let me give you some advice.
You won?t find it in the shops.

There?s just one word you must
remember about girls. One word.

Dishonesty ...

The source of love and
happiness for all concerned.

Science!
Science.

Science ...

You must tell them what
they want to hear, no matter what.

What would you tell Sanne
if you could?

That l was in love with her
and that she was cute.

Not even you have
the right to be that dumb.

You?re in love with her?
She?s known that for 6 months.

What?s your greatest shortcoming?
That l?m boring.

God knows that?s true.
Let?s say you?re Sanne

and you?re sure you?re boring.
The cleverest thing to tell you

would be that you were
fascinating, right?

lf anyone told me that,
l wouldn?t believe them.

But you aren?t a woman.
Credibility doesn?t count with them.

l?ll demonstrate.
Watch!

Hey, you did really
well in there, Sanne.

You were great.

You struggled
with yourself and won.

Not many of us guys could
sit out an autopsy like that.

You?re a tough kid, Sanne.

Do you think so?
Yes. May l call you my friend?

Yes, you may ...

Take care, OK?
l?ve got to get some sleep.

Well done.

Did you really swallow all that?
Just like that?

lt was flattery.

Oh, you are so dumb.

And boring.

Oh, that?s right, Stig.

l hadn?t informed you
that the Mona case

has been referred
to the state prosecutor.

You?d better be
prepared for questioning.

You?ve done nothing wrong
so you?ve nothing to fear.

The lodge will not permit
the slightest injustice.

l?m worried about Rigmor.

She recommended me a psychiatrist.

Medically he didn?t
look quite housetrained.

ls she keeping bad company?
Sure, sure.

She keeps talking about
animals, too. Double Dutch.

This is
Double Dutch.

??The patient has
glup, plips and numb??.

What the hell is that?
Glup, plips and numb?

With secretaries like that
we?d be better off without them.

They need a spelling course.

Look at the top, under Cave.

lt says ??Cave: Latin.??

Yes! ??Warning:
the patient understands Latin??.

l don?t know what
it?s like in Sweden,

but patients here now
have access to their files.

lt was inevitable.
ln this case we?re afraid

that the patient understands Latin.

lt may look like poor spelling,
but it is a code.

A code to hinder any attempt by
the patient to understand his file.

For the sake of his treatment,
of course.

Yes, but what does it mean?

The patient is
hysterical, hypochondriac

and hates doctors.

l see.

Sometimes l can?t help being
impressed by this little country.

Einar ...

... there is a matter
l?d like to ask you about.

Fire away!

Has it ever occurred to you
that we doctors can also get ill?

ln all your years
of professional practice

have you ever pursued
that thought to its end?

Yes, and here?s a little tip
l myself have benefited from greatly.

Always watch
your bowel movements.

You know, faeces.

There are floaters and sinkers.

Floaters, and you?ve
no cause for concern.

Oh, my God ...

ls it any good?

There?s not much splatter.
Just a fridge.

But there?s someone
in it who looks like you.

Hello! What have you
found out about Helmer?

Nothing yet.

Maybe he?s bluffing.

He?s a gambler.
The stakes are high. He?s bluffing.

What do you mean?

Provoke him.
Then you?ll see if he?s bluffing.

Didn?t you play poker when
you were at medical school?

Mogge, this is either
very, very clever

or very, very stupid.

My little Rigmor ...

My little heartthrob ...

What are you reading today?
Nietzsche or Strindberg?

Strindberg once
came to this country.

lt was in summer.
l suppose he was in exile.

He said Denmark
was a ??faecal hell??.

Not very flattering,
but perhaps rather accurate.

No, not Strindberg,
but a new edition of the Haiti book.

They?ve revised
the zombie poison chapter.

Medical science now takes
a completely different view.

Of course some people turn into
zombies, but most die of it.

And that is m*rder,
which is a bit more criminal.

Well, shall we ... begin?

Excuse me, Professor Helmer,
but it?s very urgent.

The franking machine has broken.

l?m in such awful doubt as to
the face values of the stamps to get.

Professor Moesgaard was
so fond of the big, gaudy ones.

Don?t worry, Mrs Svendsen, l?m sure
even this problem can be solved.

We buy stamps of low face value
and combine them as required.

Any questions?
The blue needs analysis ...

That is enough, damn you.

Can?t you see we are in conference?
We are discussing

the best way of earning
the confidence of our fellow men.

Or their trust.
A shorter word.

Well spoken.

Trust is just the right word.

We should all rejoice
when trust crosses frontiers.

Damn it, Stig ... l may
call you Stig, mayn?t l?

One isn?t necessarily an idiot
just because one is a Swede.

Thank you Stig
because you are you.

Darling, don?t come
to see him on your own.

He?s my baby.
Mummy, is that my daddy?

This is the man who has
promised to love you as a father.

You?re not strong enough yet.
OK, Darling.

Promise?
Promise.

Good, Darling.

l?d rather err
on the side of caution.

An infection has fought
its way into the organism.

To save the latter the white
corpuscles must pull together

rather than trip each other up.

The infection has many names.
Homeopathy,

??alternative medicine??,
necromancy ...

Anything that would make
a real scientist turn to drink ...

To keep the clear and present
danger of the DG?s att*ck at bay

l have but one proposal.

Cosmetics.

Cosmetics are
the foundation of all medicine.

Think of all
the diseases we cannot treat.

Do our departments get
closed down for that reason?

No. Because we are
masters of the cosmetic.

We make disease look
less ugly and upsetting.

lf the DG really does
intend to visit our wards,

we must get out our cosmetics.

lt?s an old wives? tale that
we brethren never see eye to eye.

The Therapy Committee has just
agreed to buy a billiard table.

lt?ll be here in a fortnight.

l think l have something to report.
Yes?

l didn?t quite get the bit
about the white corpuscles.

But it rather seems that
psychiatry is at risk of infection.

A chap called Ole
has set up in the basement.

Ladies? Ole?
ls he on the rampage again?

Splendid, Moesgaard,
you deal with him.

Psychiatry is an area where
new ideas are really dangerous.

Get rid of him.
Show no quarter!

The good ship Wasa was
a triumph compared to this.

As long as my ship still sails
And my heart still beats

And the sun still
Sparkles on the waves

Here l kneel, gazing
at what was once mine.

Danish scum!

This is what you have done to me.

Look at what
Mona learned today ...

That one?

l?ll help you turn them.
You picked the right ones.

There.

LOVE MUMMY

Well done, Mona.

Oh, Darling ... how clever you are!

Mummy had no idea.

How can you?
Mona can?t even move her fingers.

l know, but l think it?s all right.

l?m so sorry for Mona?s mother.
She has nobody else.

lf l can cheer her up by a bit
of cheating, it?s OK by me.

l want to thank you ...
for all you?ve done for Mona.

l am so happy!

300 on red!

Countdown: 10, 9, 8,

7, 6, 5, 4,

3, 2, 1

Go!

lt?s coming!

The people aren?t the same again.

l thought they were so clever?

The evil eyes sow evil in
both the clever and the stupid

so that the crimes of the past
shall be the crimes of the present.

lt may start as stupidity
but it will end as evil.

l really don?t want ...

... to die now.

You?re not going
to die now, Mummy.

l can?t die now.

lt was my fault if
the hole was left open too long.

l ... must help the Kingdom.

Philip Marco ...

The greatest surgeon of our time.

Never heard of him.
No ...

Psychic surgery
has always faced adversity.

The ambulance is running.

The ambulance.

Take it easy, Mummy, take it easy.

There is ...

There is ...

... something evil in the Kingdom.

And the eyes are watching me.

The ...

... evil ...

... eyes.

We must operate again.
Yes.

l must ... help ... the Kingdom.

Pulse faint.

She?s fibrillating.
The paddles ...

Now!

Come on!

Come on! Out!

Stand aside.

Well, it was no good.
There was no bite,

and those great expectations
got well and truly run down.

The spirit was gone,

as was the humble hope of
a repeat of past successes.

Yet perhaps the spirit
hadn?t quite vanished.

Mrs Drusse?s, that is.

For beneath the worn ceiling tiles
in the operating theatre

it was still peeping out.

Perhaps it is when we let that go
that we make our greatest gain.

Taste and habit go hand in hand

but letting them run away with us
will do us no good.

But if we can relinquish just once
what has comforted and filled us

and really say goodbye,

perhaps the result
will be a merry wee ??hello??

to something new, unlike
the old and not tasting like it,

and for precisely that reason
not so bad at all.

My name is Lars von Trier and
l wish you a really good evening.

lf you?re drawn
by the Kingdom again

l?m sure you?ll remember
to be prepared

to take the Good with the Evil.