08x18 - Ms. Write

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Wings". Aired: April 19, 1990, to May 21, 1997.*
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Two brothers, Joe and Brian Hackett, run a one-plane commuter service from a small Nantucket airport.
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08x18 - Ms. Write

Post by bunniefuu »

(screams)

Oh!
(woman screams on TV)

Oh, God,
is he dead yet?!

Of course.

The psycho's got a pickax
through his head.

(both screaming)

Okay, now he's dead.

Oh, God.

Okay, I got to go.

Hey, are you going to be
okay here alone tonight?

Oh, yeah.

Joe will be back
first thing in the morning

from his charter in Vermont.

Okay.

But if a homicidal maniac

with a gushing head wound
comes to the door,

don't answer it.

Hey, I learned my lesson
from that cheerleader.

(door latch clicking)

(keys jingling, table rattles)

Take that!
(grunts)

Oh! Oh, God!

Joe, I... I didn't expect
you back till tomorrow.

What are you doing here?

Bleeding.

Hey, roomie.

I brought you the
mail from home.

Oh, hey, by
the way, uh...

do you know anyone
named Kyle Vane?

Uh... no. Why?

This letter came to
the house for him.

There's no return address.

It's probably
a previous tenant.

Cool name, though, huh?

Kyle Vane.

Hello! My name is Kyle Vane!

Yeah. Care to riff
on the gas bill?

(Roy chuckles)

Wow.

Who's that idiot behind
those Foster Grants?

What's with the glasses?

(Roy and Fay gasp)

(whistles)
Oh, wow,
you've got a black eye.

Really, Fay?

Gee, I hadn't noticed.

Well, maybe if you
dropped the attitude,

people wouldn't want
to punch your lights out.

Boy, if Joe looks like this,

I don't want to know
what the other guy looks like.

Oh, baby,
I feel so bad

about clocking
you last night.

How is your eye?

(Roy laughs)

I get it.

Trying to spice things
up in the bedroom, huh?

Little tip-- next
time, don't be a hero.

Wear the head gear.

Hey, I was caught off guard.

It was a lucky punch.

Whoa-ho.

Hey, relax,
Hackett, relax.

So, you're a man who
likes a good whupping.

That's nothing
to be ashamed of.

Look, Helen, all this
makes me think that...

you-you get a little jumpy
when I'm not around.

I think we need
a burglar alarm.

I don't know, Joe,
I feel pretty good knowing
that I can defend myself.

I mean, I dropped you, didn't I?

Would you stop saying that?

All right, I'm sorry.
I guess we do need an alarm.

Yeah, we really do,
and you know what?
They're not that expensive.

Okay, let's get one.

There's one
little problem.

They really stick it to
you on the installation.

It costs 1,000 bucks.

Don't... Don't pay that.

I'll do it.

Uh... Antonio,
no offense,

but I think
they charge you so much

because it takes
a trained professional.

I'll do it for 75 bucks.

You're hired.

Thanks for
lunch, Casey.

It was a great idea
going to Boston.

Oh, it was my pleasure.

But, um, maybe we shouldn't
mention this at the store.

You know,
'cause you're my boss.

I don't want
people to think

I'm sucking up to you
for a promotion.
I understand.

Oh, by the way,
I bought you a cookie.

Thanks.

Yeah.

I love your
new haircut.

And your shoes, too.

Nice.

Hey, Casey,
who's your friend?

Beth?

Oh, no.

You are not going
to get near her.

She's not just my friend.

She's my supervisor
at the department store.

So?

So, I'm working on
getting a promotion.

I don't want to be
a perfume spritzer

the rest of my life.

There's an opening
in men's underwear.

You're just finding
that out now?

Listen, you are bad news.

If I introduce you
and you screw this up,

I'm the one who's going
to take the heat.

All right, but on the other
hand, if Beth and I hit it off,

then you're the one
who gets the credit.

Then, pretty soon,
it'll be you saying,

"Yes, sir, that's
a reinforced crotch."

You're on.

CASEY:
So, how did your date
with Beth go?

Well, it was great.

Uh, I haven't met a woman
I like this much

in a long time.

I think I could...
really get serious about her.

All right.

I am on my way!

Oh, yeah, we got another
one of those letters.

Oh, you mean
for Kyle Vane?

Yeah. We get one
of those every day.

So, we got to figure out
what to do with them.

Well, I guess I'll drop it
on the old Kyle pile.

WOMAN:
Dear Kyle,

last night, I had another dream
about you.

I was standing on a sand dune,
gazing out toward the sea

looking for something.

I didn't know what.

Then I saw you.

The sunlight
danced off your hair,

the blue of your eyes
matched the water

and I knew
what I was looking for-- you.

I can't wait to hear from you.

Love, R.

Whoa.

I can't stop thinking about

the time we climbed to the top
of the old lighthouse

and yelled out to the world
that we loved each other.

Does that still mean
anything to you?

Please answer my letters.

Love, R.

I ran to the mailbox today,
breathless with excitement

but again, it was empty.

Did you ever love me?

If I don't hear from you soon,
I'll know your answer

and then, I'll close
my heart forever

because the love I have for you

is the kind
a woman only feels once. R.

(choked up):
Wow.

(footfalls approaching)

Hey. What are
you doing up?

Uh, you know,
I just couldn't sleep.

Oh. Yeah. Me, too.

I'm going to make some tea.

You know, Brian,
promotion aside,

I'm really glad
that things are working out

for you and Beth.

Who?

So, what do you
think so far?

HELEN (gasps):
Oh, my God!

Wires, Joe.

There's lots
of wires, Joe.

Helen, please, please.

Uh, I'm sure that Antonio
isn't finished yet... right?

Of course not!

I'm a professional.

There! Perfect!

(alarm goes off)

What the hell is that?

Pretty great, huh?

See, I've given you
a real custom job.

The entire room
is filled

with infrared sensors,
motion detectors.

A burglar hits
one of those hot spots and...

(imitating alarm)

Buddy, could you...
turn it off?

No problem.

Okay.

System's off.

Um...

so are the lights.

Well, at least, you
don't see the wires.

You see, I've wired the alarm

through your
central electrical system.

The system is now armed.

Antonio, could you
excuse us for a second?

Uh-uh-uh-uh-

uh-uh-uh!

Sensors.

To avoid them,

you just...

step... step...

duck!

Step! Step!
Step! Step!

Jump!

Easy, huh?

I contacted all
the former tenants

who lived in your house.

And there's not a
Kyle Vane among them.

This is so frustrating.

Here's this incredible
woman-- R--

who's obviously
in love with this guy

who doesn't have the decency
to write her back.

Well, I think if Kyle
really cared about this R,

he would've found a way

to get in touch
with her by now.

Well, this Kyle is an idiot

and R is-is a...
fascinating woman.

She's sensitive,
she's poetic.

She even likes
my favorite book.

The Catcher in the Rye.

Brian, it sounds to me

like you're starting
to fall for this R.

Oh, please!

That's-That's-That's
crazy, Fay.

That's insane.

I-I-I never even
met this person.

Sure, I can't stop
thinking about her, and...

...with every word she writes,

it's like she's looking
right into my soul.

But fallen for her?

Forget about it.

Well, I think
it's very romantic, anyway.

In fact, it kind of reminds me
of my last husband George,

who used to write
letters to me.

Of course, I know
where to find him.

He's in a cookie jar
in my rumpus room.

Now, remember, I don't
want to make you nervous,

but my entire future
at the department store

rests on your shoulders,

so tonight, okay,
whatever you do,

be charming,

have a good time

and at the end
of the evening

when you say good night,
lean in close and whisper,

"Casey belongs
in men's underwear."

(doorbell rings)

Oh! She's here!

Okay. Shh!

Okay, but remember...

Yeah...
"Boxers and briefs,
boxers and briefs."

Just...
Okay.

Enough. Okay.

Hi. Hey, Beth.
Hi!

You look great.

Oh, thanks, Brian.

So do you.
Thank you.

(door closes)

(sighing)

Oh!

Catcher in the Rye.

Oh, you-you like
that book?

Well, no.

Frankly, I think
it's a little overrated.

Adolescence is tough--

like I need 200 pages
to tell me that.

(chuckles)

So, what are we
going to do tonight?

I was thinking we could...
R:
I went for a walk today

and I saw children
playing in the park.

I envied them.

I'll never be able
to play like that again

with such innocence
and abandon.

But then I thought,
"They're too young

"to feel the passion
I feel for you.

Maybe they should envy me."

...or a movie.

But whatever we do
is fine with me.

You know, I have to confess,
Casey warned me about you.

She said you were
a little fickle,

but I don't get that
from you at all.

I can't see you anymore.

I think I'm in love
with someone else.

(laughing)

Oh! Me, too.

What are we going to do?

No, I-I-I'm serious, Beth.

Um, I think we should
end this now before...

one of us gets hurt.

What?

How can this happen?

Casey told me
you weren't seeing anyone.

I'm not.

Oh, I get it.

You're not attracted to me.

Oh, no. No, that's
not it at all.

It's just that I
found my soul mate--

the woman that I want to spend
the rest of my life with.

Well, who is she?

I don't know, I've
never met her before.

But she's your soul mate?

(sighing):
Oh, yes.

And you're in love with her?

I'm afraid so.

R and I were...

were meant for each other.

R?

Your soul mate's name is... R?

Oh, no, no, of course not.

R is her initial.

I don't know her actual name.

Why do all the lunatics
and maniacs find me?

Now, now, Beth,
Beth, listen.

You have every reason
to be upset,

but I'm-I'm hardly
a lunatic.

I... oh, uh...

I almost forgot, uh...

(softly):
Boxers and briefs.

Boxers.

Briefs.

That R is a lucky girl.

(alarm wailing)

I can't stand it anymore!

You have to be
an Olympic gymnast

to live in this house.

Hey, you're the one
who told Antonio

I know, I know,
I know...
that he should...

I know I'm the one

and I hate myself
for being the one.

But you know who
I hate even more?

Antonio.

Hi!

I brought crullers.

Before I forget,

oh.... I have something
I need you to sign.

I took the liberty
of writing

a letter of recommendation
to pass on to new clients.

"Antonio Scarpacci is
not just a handyman,

"he's a visionary.

"His work reflects

"a unique combination

of modern technology and
old-world craftsmanship."

You slap your Joe Hancock
on there, and I'm in business.

Okay. Uh,
do you mind

if I make a few little
adjustments first?

Oh, please,
gush away.

Okay.

"Antonio Scarpacci is
not just a handyman..."

All right, let's get
rid of this "just."

Okay, "Antonio Scarpacci
is not a handyman."

Okay, now, about this
"visionary" line.

Let's just amend
that to read:

"You'd be better off...

"hiring... a...

chimp."

No problem signing that.

All righty.

All the best to you.

Well. It's a little long
for the yellow pages,

but, uh... I can probably pull
a quote or two.

Okay, okay.

Here's an "R."

"Rivka... Aaronson,

113 Chadway."

Oh, I know that address.

That's the Sons of Abraham
retirement home.

Rivka...

OLD WOMAN:
Last night I had
another dream about you.

It must have been
the stuffed peppers.

When am I going to learn
I can't digest spicy?

It doesn't feel right.

Keep looking.

You! I'm going
to k*ll you!

I begged you not to
screw this up for me.

What kind of lunatic dumps
a real woman for some kind
of psychotic fantasy?

Hey, hey, hey.

We're talking about
the woman I love.

Rusty Cavaleri.

"Rusty."

MAN:
Yo, last night I had
a dream about youse.

Keep looking.

Look, I'm sorry.

I never meant
for this to happen this way.

But it just did.

I have another letter for you
from your precious R.

Well, I hope she's
300 pounds and bald!

"Dear Kyle,

"I've given up on
ever hearing from you

"so I'm returning the only
postcard you ever sent me.

Looking at it only
brings me pain."

(sighs)

My poor R.

I've got to find her.

Maybe I should
call a private eye

or go on television.

Well, yeah, or you could
take her name and address

off this postcard.

Rebecca Burton.

Rebecca.

Rebecca...

WOMAN:
Last night, I had
another dream about you.

We have a winner.

(exhales sharply)

Yes?

(quietly):
Thank you!

Hi. Um... you
don't know me.

My name is Brian Hackett...

and I love you.

What?

No, no, no, no.

I know it sounds strange...
it sounds strange,

but, you see, you and I
are soul mates.

Forget what you
had with Kyle.

You and I belong together.

Look, I don't know you.

And I don't know
what you're talking about.

Sure. Okay.

And the only Kyle
that I know

is Rebecca's friend

who stayed with our neighbors
on Nantucket this summer.

Maybe Rebecca knows

something about this.

Rebecca!

Let it be a twin,
let it be a twin.

Rebecca!

God, Mom.

You don't have to scream
your head off.

Honey, this is
Brian Hackett

and he seems
to know Kyle.

Um... I'm sorry.

Uh, there must be some horrible,
horrible, horrible...

horrible mistake. Um...

Please tell me that you're not
the one who wrote those letters.

Letters?

Um... it's okay, Mom.

I know what this
is about.

I can handle this.

Uh... all right.

Do you have
your whistle?

Mom...

So what do you know
about that geek-face Kyle?

Did he get his braces off yet?

Let me get this straight:

You're the one who
wrote these letters?

You're... R?

You read my letters?

Oh, God.

Now I have to move
to, like, France.

If there's anyone
who has to move

to, "like, France," it's me.

I... I cannot believe I...

I got to go. Okay?

No, wait.

Can't you tell me
anything about Kyle?

Sorry. I never met
the geek face.

You must have really
liked him, huh?

Well, duh.

I mean, we rode bikes
all summer

and then one day

when we tried to ditch
my little brother,

we kissed behind
the Sno Cone stand.

I thought that meant
I was his girlfriend.

Kyle moves fast, huh?

Well, it's not like I let him
feel me up or anything.

That's good.

Oh. I am so stupid.

No, I am.

I thought Kyle loved me, but...

obviously he so doesn't.

Hey, give the
guy a break.

He never got
these letters.

Well, he could have called.

Yeah, well...
a 12-year-old guy

has a full life, you know,
what, with little league

and setting bugs on
fire, making arm farts,

stuff like that.

Probably just
hasn't had time.

Please. Don't insult
my intelligence.

I know when
I'm being blown off.

All right.
Then here it is:

Guys are lunkheads, okay?

They can meet a... a woman
who's totally cool, like you,

and still think that

maybe there's someone
better out there.

Well, that's just dumb.

I mean, how does anyone
ever get together?

(chuckles)

You are so talking
to the wrong guy.

Well, I'm never falling
in love again. It sucks.

Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Love sucks sometimes.

But sometimes it's
also the best thing

that could ever
happen to you.

If it's any consolation,

I'm sure Kyle will
never, ever forget you.

How do you know?

Well, because...

a guy never forgets
his first love.

Here you go.

I live at the house
where Kyle was staying

and there was no
forwarding address.

You know, those
letters are really...

beautiful.

Someday you'll find somebody
who can appreciate that.

Thanks.

Sure.

Nobody helped you
write those letters?

An aunt or older sister or...?

Still looking
for something better, huh?

Enough about me.

So, uh...

you like The Catcher
in the Rye, huh?

Well, it's only, like,
the best book ever written.

Oh, totally, totally.

I love how Holden Caulfield

rebels against
the hypocrisies

of middle-class values.

Excuse me, but that is
so not the point.

The book is about the search
for a sense of self.

Yeah, I got that.
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