06x07 - You Are Cordially Invited...

[bunniefuu]

Captain's personal log,
stardate 51247.5.

It's been a week since our return
to DS9 but the celebration continues.

We're still at w*r, and the station
is now the HQ of the Ninth Fleet.

That, plus our position
by the wormhole,

makes DS9 one of the most
tempting targets in the quadrant.

But for now, at least,
the w*r seems very far away.

Morning. Good morning.

- Morning, Major.
- Good morning, Captain.

How I missed hearing you say that.

How I hated saying
"Good morning, Dukat".

I can imagine. What's on the agenda?

U.S.S. Potemkin has completed repairs
and is rejoining the fleet later today.

Exeter, Sutherland and Agaki
have submitted resupply requests

and there are 1,000 messages
from Starfleet Command

awaiting "your eyes only" attention.

Anything else?

- General Martok is in your office.
- I'll start with him.

I thought you would.

Have I mentioned
that it's good to be home?

Once or twice.

- You knew about this, didn't you?
- I had a pretty good idea.

- And you did nothing to stop it.
- No.

In fact, I recommended you
for the position.

Allow me to congratulate the new
Supreme Commander of the Ninth Fleet.

Do you have any idea of the paperwork
a Supreme Commander has to do?

You're welcome.

May I arrange quarters
for you on the station?

No, I'll keep my flag
aboard the Rotarran.

It's cramped but at least
I'll feel like I'm still at w*r.

By the way, I'd like Worf to continue
as my Intelligence Officer.

I don't see any problem with that.

He's the only officer
I know who can never get enough work.

At least if he's busy he'll stop going on
about this wedding of his.

There were times on the Rotarran
he nearly drove me mad.

Until his son arrived,
it was all he could talk about.

Then Alexander was
all he could talk about.

The man is nothing if not single-minded.

I haven't met Worf's son yet.
What's he like?

He's a fine boy. Dedicated, eager.

He has the heart of his father

but he's not the best soldier
I've ever seen.

When he ordered
the system back on line,

I thought he meant
the hydrostatic system, so...

You engaged the pumps
with the check valves open?

He did.

I flooded the entire deck
with hydraulic fluid.

It took three days to clean it up.
It still smells like burnt dog hair.

Remind me to keep you
away from the Defiant.

The Rotarran's crew thinks of me
as a good luck charm.

You know, the more mistakes
I make, the safer they feel.

I hope the Ya'Vang's crew does too.

The Ya'Vang?

I got new orders this morning.

The battle cruiser Ya'Vang took
heavy losses in their last engagement

so most of the Rotarran's crew are
being transferred there, including me.

- More bloodwine?
- Why not?

No. Not for me.

Handsome young man.
He must get his looks from his mother.

- What do you want?
- Have you reconsidered my offer?

We are not getting married in this bar.

The ceremony will take place
on the Klingon homeworld after the w*r.

Worf, let's do it here,
this week, before Alexander leaves.

- Perfect. I'll make the arrangements.
- Wait. I thought we had agreed.

We did, but I'd hate Alexander
to miss his dad's wedding.

It would mean so much to him.

Besides, it may be a long time
before you see him again.

What's going on?

Our wedding plans have changed.

We are getting married here
on Deep Space 9

and I would like you to be
my Tawi'Yan.

Sword-bearer.
It's sort of like a best man.

Me? Really? Oh, that's great!

I'll put that on your tab.

It doesn't leave much time
but there isn't much left to do.

Worf's been planning the ceremony
for three months.

He has everything figured,
even the colour of my shoes.

No offence, but it seems like this
wedding's all about what Worf wants.

Habitat Ring, Section 51 Gamma.
What about you?

A traditional Klingon wedding

is what Worf's wanted
since he was a boy.

It probably has something to do
with being raised by humans.

Regarding Klingon tradition,
Worf is very sentimental.

Worf?

All men are sentimental.

They just cover it up
with scowls and clenched jaws.

There are times Worf literally gets
misty-eyed talking about Klingon rituals.

So that's why you're letting him
plan the wedding?

Mostly, but the truth is
I've been through five Trill ceremonies

and I'm a little bored with it.

Is it me
or did Odo just try and avoid us?

I didn't notice.

We've been avoiding each other
since the Dominion left.

I think we're both afraid
of talking about the occupation.

What do you mean?

To tell the truth, it's nothing
I want to talk about right now either.

Thank you for coming.

As you probably know, Jadzia and I
will be married here in six days.

There's nothing so romantic
as a wedding on DS9 in spring.

With the neutrinos in bloom.

By tradition, a Klingon man spends
four nights before his wedding

on a mental and spiritual journey
called Kal'Hyah, "The Path of Clarity",

accompanied
by his closest male friends.

You cannot imagine the experience.

Four long nights
filled with song and fellowship.

A time of unbridled pleasures.

Are we talking
about a bachelor party here?

It is a similar ritual.

- Sounds good to me.
- Me too.

Count me in.

We will meet in the holosuite
tomorrow at 2100 hours.

I advise you all to get plenty of rest.

Four nights at a Klingon bachelor party.
Just think of it.

- Thank God Keiko's not here.
- I wonder what Dax will be doing.

She will be taking a different journey...
with my wife.

Your wife?

By marrying Worf,
Dax will join the House of Martok.

Since its mistress
must approve all marriages,

Sirella will spend the next four days
evaluating Jadzia.

My lady.

You've put on weight
and your hair is going grey.

My deterioration is proceeding apace.

I thought you would be
in your grave by now.

I shall endeavour to die
this year, if possible.

Allow me to present Captain Benjamin
Sisko, Commander of Deep Space 9.

Captain, may I present the mistress
of the House of Martok,

my wife and the mother of my children,
Sirella, daughter of Linkasa.

Welcome to Deep Space 9.

Thank you, Captain. Where is she?

Jadzia's quarters are in the Habitat Ring,
Section 25 Alpha.

Shall I escort you? It's quite far away.

I'll find my way.

If you'll excuse me.

Magnificent, isn't she?

Are those real var'Hama candles?

Yes, I travelled to Kronos, captured
three targs in the Hamar mountains,

sacrificed them at dawn,
came back to the station,

had Quark
boil their shoulders into tallow.

Then I spent two days moulding them
into candles with my hands.

- I was just asking.
- You were criticising. Again.

Relax. She's not going to reject
a prospective daughter

because her var'Hama candles
were replicated.

Come in.

What is he doing here?

- I meant no disrespect.
- Then leave.

Your worthiness to join
our House will now be judged

according to the traditions of my family.

- I am prepared, my lady.
- I doubt that.

A Klingon woman would find it difficult
to gain my favour.

For an alien
it will most likely be impossible.

I like a challenge.

I will not have my authority
challenged by you.

That's not what I meant.

If you cannot say what you mean,
say nothing.

The evaluation begins in the morning.

Have the traditional meal
prepared before I arrive.

And in the future,

if you cannot trouble yourself
to make real var'Hama candles,

try not to use such obvious fakes.

You never told me your wife
opposed my marriage.

She is a woman of strong convictions.

She believes that by bringing aliens into
our families, we risk losing our identity.

- That is a prejudiced, xenophobic view.
- We are Klingons, Worf.

We don't embrace other cultures,
we conquer them.

Those who wish to join us
must honour our traditions

and prove themselves worthy
of the crest of a Great House.

- Jadzia is worthy.
- Of course she is.

She's an honourable woman
and a formidable warrior.

You should say that to Sirella.

That's not a good idea. I don't want her
to think I'm interfering in her domain.

Perhaps I should speak with her.

Coming from me,
it would not seem like a challenge.

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Why?

Well, um...

The truth is... she doesn't like you
that much either.

- Me!
- Don't let that bother you.

I had every right
to bring you into the family

and she's accepted that
there's nothing she can do about it.

How comforting.

And they say
that you have no sense of humour!

I could do without the heat.
Can't say much for the decor either.

Well, it can't be all fun and games.

There must be some sort of ritual
we have to go through before the party.

There is going to be a party, isn't there?

You're asking me?
I can barely say my name in Klingon.

Prepare yourselves, my friends,
for a journey you won't soon forget.

These are Ma'Stakas.

What uh... what do we do with them?

At the end of the wedding ceremony
you'll use them to att*ck Worf and Dax.

Don't you know anything?

The tradition dates
from Kahless and Lukara

who were nearly k*lled by Molor's troops
moments after they were married.

Until the ceremony,
keep these with you at all times.

- I trust this combat is non-lethal.
- It is a symbolic att*ck only.

- That food is not to be eaten.
- Then what is it for?

It is there to tempt us to break our fast.

Fast?

There are six trials
on the path to Kal'Hyah.

This is the first, deprivation.

We now begin a fast until the wedding.

That's four days away.

It is a short time I know,
but we must make the best of it.

- What are the other five trials?
- Blood, pain, sacrifice, anguish...

...and death.

- Sounds like marriage.
- How do you know?

It is time to begin.

More flowers on the banister.
We're ready with the banner.

Raise it! You're up early.
I thought writers slept late.

Not always.
I sold my first book today.

- How much did you get for it?
- It's just a figure of speech.

The News Service is publishing my
stories about life under Dominion rule.

- And they're not paying you?
- No.

My sympathies.
The first round of drinks is on the house.

- Really?
- No. It's a figure of speech.

I want to tell my dad.
Is he still in the holosuite?

Oh, yeah. They're still up there.

- What are they doing?
- It's a Klingon bachelor party.

You're a writer. Use your imagination.

Alexander.

Grandma?

Guess again.

- We're still on the...?
- The road to Kal'Hyah, day 500.

Maybe we should turn down the heat,
for Alexander's sake.

No, it's OK.
...I just need some water.

You don't want
to push yourself too hard.

Turning down the heat
might be a good idea.

The whole point is to push yourself
to the limits of endurance.

I will. I want to travel
the entire path to Kal'Hyah.

- Stoke the fire again!
- As you wish.

Of course, we cannot expect
you non-Klingons

to have the same stamina as us.

If you wish to quit,
no one will think any less of you.

- Who said anything about quitting?
- Not me.

- I like the heat.
- That's the spirit.

Again.

I've done it three times already.

You continue to rush through
the ceremony,

your body position is poor,

and the placement of the braziers
on their pedestals is sloppy.

- Do you know how heavy they are?
- A Klingon woman would not complain.

You wouldn't make a Klingon woman
do it three times.

True. She'd have done it right first time.

End this now, Jadzia.
Go back to your own people.

They will tolerate your weaknesses
and your failings

in a way that a Klingon family never will.

In our House, you would always
be an alien, an outsider.

At best, you'd be an object of pity
but you'd never be accepted,

never an equal, because
you can never truly be one of us.

The Second Dynasty ended
when General K'Trelan

assassinated Emperor Reclaw.
For the next ten years,

the Empire was ruled by a Council
elected by the people.

Modern-day Klingon historians
refer to this as "The Dark Time."

But it's interesting that this first and
only experiment in Klingon democracy

actually produced several reforms...

- You are straying from the saga.
- Am I?

Your task is to recite the complete
chronicle of the women in my family.

I thought I'd give you
a broader historical perspective.

I am familiar with Klingon history.

Now, return to the story
of my 23rd maternal grandmother,

Shenara, daughter of Emperor Reclaw
in the Second Dynasty.

Well, that's where we run into
a little problem.

You see, I did some research:
When Emperor Reclaw was k*lled,

all members of the Imperial Family
were put to death, including Shenara.

When the Third Dynasty
was founded ten years later,

a new group took the titles and names
of the original Imperial Family

to create the illusion
of an unbroken line.

So the woman that you think of
as your 23rd maternal grandmother

isn't related to you at all.

Your real ancestor's name was Karana,

a concubine living
outside the Imperial Stables.

My grandmother's name was Shenara.

That may be what's been passed down
but it has no basis in fact.

But who cares about facts?

The chronicle says
you have Imperial blood

and that's what
we'll keep telling everyone.

- Continue with the saga.
- My pleasure.

Major, is it true Dax is having a party?

- News travels fast.
- Is it by invitation?

I'm sure you're welcome.
Tell Nog the same goes for him.

I hear congratulations are in order
to our newest published author.

Thank you.

- What was that about?
- Nothing. There they go.

They look so serious.

It's an act. They don't want us
to know what they're up to.

Like what?

It's a Klingon bachelor party.
Use your imagination.

Now begins the Trial of Blood.

Let rivers flow from our veins.

Who will be first?

I did not expect it to be you, Doctor.

- Neither did I.
- Do not worry.

The pain will last for only a moment.

Isn't that great?

All right! He's unbelievable.

Lieutenant Manuele Atoa
from the Starship Sutherland.

- I've never seen anything like that.
- Neither have I.

Let's get something to eat.

A woman of many talents.

Shame she's about to waste them all
on that walking frown she calls a fiancé.

She's too good for him.
I always said so.

Are you jealous?

- There's no profit in jealousy.
- That's not a denial.

- It's not to be quoted.
- Don't worry.

So, when did you first realise
you had these feelings for Dax? Wait...

- Miles?
- Yeah?

It's working.

I've had a vision about the future.

I can see it so clearly.

What is it?

I'm going to k*ll Worf.

I'm going to k*ll Worf.
That's what I'm going to do.

I can see it clearly now.
I'm going to k*ll him.

k*ll Worf.

k*ll Worf.

k*ll Worf.

I've been getting complaints
about the noise.

Someone mentioned a fight.

There was a scuffle between Morn
and a Bolian but they worked it out.

How long will this... party continue?

This party will continue
until further notice

on the personal authority of the
First Officer, who happens to be me.

- You're in a good mood.
- Well, it's a good party.

- Well...
- Odo...

Odo...

I think we have a lot to talk about.

- I agree.
- So let's talk.

- Now?
- Haven't we put it off long enough?

Enjoy yourselves.

Let's find someplace a little quieter.

Yahoo!

Thanks for the show.

- Thanks for getting me a day off.
- Captain Shelby owed me a favour.

Actually, he owed me several.

How would you like
to have another two days off?

Two? What do I have to do?

Just give me something fun
to look at for the rest of the evening.

- Anything else?
- I'll let you know.

You!

Leave her or I'll cut your head off
and hang it from my belt.

I'll take care of this.

- You weren't invited.
- It is time for the Bre'Nan ritual.

- I'm busy.
- Busy acting like a Risian slut.

I'll only ask you to leave once.

You will come with me and perform
the Bre'Nan ritual to my satisfaction

or I will cancel your wedding.

Ladies, please.

Why is everyone standing around?

The party's just getting started.
Play something!

Double raktajino, extra sweet.

- What time is it?
- 10:30 hours.

Come on.

Wrong door.

Excuse me, sir.

Jadzia we need to...

- You're mad.
- I am concerned.

Yeah, well, I'm hung over.
Can we talk later?

We have a very serious problem.
Sirella has cancelled the wedding.

She doesn't waste time, does she?

She said you att*cked her.

She pulled a Kn*fe.

You are forbidden to join
the House of Martok.

So I won't be invited
to the family picnics. I'll live.

I cannot believe
you're taking this so lightly.

- Do you hear that?
- What?

It sounds like voices.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Is the party over?
- You could say that. It's 10:30.

- In the morning? I'm on duty.
- So am I.

- It was a great party.
- Thanks.

- We must deal with the situation now.
- Stop yelling. My head hurts.

Go to Sirella and beg her forgiveness.

I don't beg.

- You're allowing your pride to blind you.
- Look who's talking.

You want me to crawl just so you can
have your traditional wedding.

This is about more than just tradition.

We have embarked
on a spiritual journey

that will bind us together through this
life and the next. You can't turn back.

Maybe you're on a spiritual journey,
but I just want to get married.

So why don't you go back to sweating
and bleeding with your friends

and when you're done,
meet me in Benjamin's office

and he'll perform the ceremony.

If that is your attitude...

...perhaps Sirella was right about you.

There should be no wedding.

That's fine with me.

- What's going on?
- The wedding's off.

Off? Why?

She says it's because
he's a pig-headed, stubborn man

who puts tradition before everything.

He says it's because
she's a frivolous emotional woman

who refuses to take him
or his culture seriously.

- You see the problem.
- They're both right.

Exactly.

Well, there's only one thing for it.

Dinner.

I'll get the menu.

Enter.

Worf...
you've made a grave error.

Perhaps.

- Do you still love her?
- Of course.

However, in this case,
that may not be enough.

Anyone can see
we are hopelessly mismatched.

She is a Trill, I am a Klingon.
She has had five marriages.

This would be my first.

When she is laughing, I am sombre.
When I am happy, she is crying.

She plays tongo
with the Ferengi bartender.

I can barely stand him.

She mocks everything...

...while I take everything seriously.

She is nothing like the woman
I thought I would marry.

We are not accorded the luxury
of choosing who we fall in love with.

Do you think Sirella is anything like
the woman I thought I'd marry?

She is a prideful,
arrogant, mercurial woman

who shares my bed
far too infrequently for my taste.

And yet...

...I love her deeply.

We Klingons often tout
our prowess in battle,

our desire for glory and honour
above all else.

But how hollow is the sound of victory
without someone to share it with?

Honour gives little comfort
to a man alone in his home...

...and in his heart.

One steak with mushrooms,
baked potato and sour cream.

I should've had that.

One double Altair sandwich,
no mustard,

two bowls of linguini,
Bajoran shrimp with extra cheese.

One loaf of mapa bread.

- And the kava juice?
- They're squeezing it.

- Unless you want replicated.
- We'll wait.

What do you think you're doing?

- The wedding's off.
- It's back on.

Worf is apologising to Jadzia
at this very moment.

Quark, take it all away. No food
for those on the path to Kal'Hyah.

No refunds for those on the path
to Kal'Hyah as well. Sorry.

Father, what happened?

She refused to change her mind.
The wedding is still off.

- Where is she?
- In her quarters.

I'll go talk to her.

Just.. Keep them away from the food.

Come in!

Save your breath.
Worf's gone too far. Now it's over.

He wanted me to go crawling
on my hands and knees to Sirella

to beg her forgiveness.
Beg her! Me!

I was once the Federation Ambassador
to the Klingon Empire.

I negotiated the Khitomer Accords
before Worf was born.

Curzon negotiated the Accords!
I've got news for you:

You're not Curzon anymore.

What the hell does that mean?

You can't expect to be treated like him
just because you carry his memories.

To her, you're just a young woman
marrying into her family.

If it means you have to kiss her boots,

that's what you have to do,
and you knew that.

The moment you chose to marry Worf

you knew sooner or later you'd have to
show her the respect she's due.

This is Worf's fault. Worf and his
traditional Klingon wedding.

He may have let this wedding go
to his head, but you are 356 years old.

Compared to you, Worf is just a kid.

If you can't abide by Klingon traditions,

you never should have let yourself
fall in love with him in the first place.

And you are in love with him.

I wasn't looking to fall in love.
I was perfectly happy by myself.

I had friends, a career, adventure...

Then one day, this Klingon
with a bad attitude walked into my life

and the next thing I know,
I'm getting married.

After 356 years and seven lifetimes...

...I still lead with my heart.

You know, that is what
I've always loved about you.

I think that's why Worf loves you too.

Whatever happened to that young,
callow Ensign I used to know?

The one who used to turn to me
for advice all the time?

You know, the one with hair?

I grew up.

I guess it's time I grow up, too.

With fire and steel
did the gods forge the Klingon heart.

So fiercely did it b*at,
so loud was the sound,

that the gods cried out,
"On this day we have brought forth

"the strongest heart in all the heavens.

"None can stand before it
without trembling at its strength.”

But the Klingon heart weakened,
its steady rhythm faltered

and the gods said,
"Why have you weakened so?

"We have made you the strongest
in all of creation.”

- And the heart said...
- "I am alone."

And the gods knew they had erred.

So they went back to their forge
and brought forth... another heart.

But the second heart
b*at stronger than the first

and the first was jealous of its power.

Fortunately, the second heart
was tempered by wisdom.

"If we join together,
no force can stop us."

And when the two hearts
began to b*at together,

they filled the heavens
with a terrible sound.

For the first time, the gods knew fear.
They tried to flee, but it was too late.

The Klingon hearts destroyed the gods
who created them

and turned the heavens to ashes.

To this very day, no one can oppose
the b*ating of two Klingon hearts.

Not even me.

Worf, son of Mogh, does your heart
b*at only for this woman?

Yes.

Will you swear to join with her

and stand with her
against all who oppose you?

I swear.

Jadzia, daughter of Kela,
does your heart b*at only for this man?

Yes.

Do you swear to join with him

and stand with him
against all who would oppose you?

I swear.

Then let all present know that this man
and this woman are married.

- Now?
- Not yet.

- Now?
- Patience.

My Lady.

Welcome to the House of Martok...

...my daughter.

Now, Doctor!