02x03 - Gargantua

[bunniefuu]

The Kingdom Hospital
rests on ancient marshland

where the bleaching
ponds once lay.

Here the bleachers moistened
their great spans of cloth.

The steam from the cloth shrouded
the place in permanent fog.

Then the hospital
was built here.

The bleachers gave way
to doctors, researchers,

the best brains in the nation
and the most perfect technology.

To crown their work they called
the hospital The Kingdom.

Now life was to be charted,

and ignorance and superstition
never to shake science again.

Perhaps their arrogance
became too pronounced,

like their persistent
denial of the spiritual.

For it is as if the cold
and damp have returned.

Tiny signs of fatigue are appearing
in the solid, modern edifice.

No living person knows it yet,
but the portal to the Kingdom

is opening once again.

CASUALTY

Trainee Casualty lntern
Moesgaard reporting for duty!

Gosh!

Customers!

How simple and uncomplicated
the world is down here! A splinter?

We just get out the iodine.

Oh? How odd!

l?m afraid
he changed his mind.

5 minutes! Dead on!
Yes!

This is really doing me good.
l can feel it.

The professor is vegetating.

Take Cubicle 3.

Tweezers and iodine ...
the best things in a doctor?s bag.

Damn it! l wanted to sound
the Death of the Fox.

He deserved it.
But l sounded the Call to Lunch.

So l thought l?d give him
Death of the Fox anyway.

Easy does it ... you were hunting?
He wasn?t dead.

He was hammering on the lid.
l unscrewed it

with my Swiss Army Kn*fe.
lt can also open beer bottles.

Yes, death is pretty well the only
thing we can?t do anything about ...

Hook.
Yes.

But he isn?t dead!
No.

Drat!
One is always misinformed.

lt doesn?t make things any easier.

No ...

l?ve never liked you, Moesgaard.

l found the iodine.

l wonder where his splinter was.

Thank you.

l don?t think iodine
is quite what?s needed ...

l am afraid it was
the spirits that did it.

Yet they seemed so peaceful.
lt?s most odd.

Have you got the iodine?
For a superficial in seven.

l?ve sh*t him.

Now, then, Dr. Helmer, l?ll put
some iodine on ... it may sting.

Damn it!

What l like about Casualty
is that it purges the soul.

Things are so simple
and uncomplicated.

l also have patients in 2, 5 and 10.

Will the professor vegetate with
them before or after his break?

After my break, l think.
Quite, eh?

Have we forgotten anything?

What have we forgotten?

The big baby.

The baby is a sign
that we are half way.

Neither more or less.

lt had to happen.
What had to happen?

That a bastard be born here.

Half dead, half alive.
Half human.

And half not human.

Helmer has had an accident
with his hunting r*fle.

But we have agreed
to keep the story to ourselves.

Mrs. Drusse has had a nasty shock.

She had the misfortune
to witness the pastor?s death.

ln our view a simple haemorrhage.
They can look dramatic.

lf Mrs Drusse begins babbling
and theorizing about it,

for God?s sake don?t start talking.

And Hook
is once more in our midst.

Let?s not mention it.

Rumour also has it
that the DG is on the prowl.

But that?s a secret.
And in that regard

the operation on the minister of
health failed to meet expectations.

But probably best not mention it.

Yes.

l would like to see you in my office.

Dr. Helmer ... the blue ...

l thought
you said your office?

That?s up to me.

Don?t touch me.

l could report you for attempted
m*rder at the drop of a hat.

Some of my effects were
taken to your place by mistake.

l am afraid l must have
them back immediately.

Shall l ring the removal man?

Hi, Mummy!

l can?t wait to get well,
so we can be together.

A man looked in on me.
A doctor?

He said he?d come back
when you were here.

But Mummy ... you mustn?t
believe what he tells you.

He?s a liar.
A liar, Mummy!

A liar!
Yes, Darling.

Excuse me.

l promised my old chum Gerda
to show her some spirits.

They?re usually in here.

But ... it doesn?t look
... as if there are any.

No, so we?ll look elsewhere.

Most odd; they are usually in there.

How nice of you to come, Gerda!

l?ve much more time now
l?ve quit the editorial team.

l could not reconcile myself
to The Messenger on computer.

Word processing is a dreadful term.
l don?t want my words processed.

Listen, Gerda.

The birds of passage
are flocking round the beacon.

The Kingdom must be the beacon.
Maybe l am the lighthouse keeper.

The spirits have promised
to give me a bit of space

until l summon them.

But l am afraid
they k*lled the pastor.

No, the spirits don?t k*ll people.

Spirits are nonviolent.

Go away!

You are not to tell my mummy
your lies, d?you hear?

You?ve got a nerve.

lsn?t it quite normal? Coming
to see one?s newborn babe?

You aren?t my father.
Mummy, say he?s lying!

Enough is enough. l don?t
give a damn if you are a ghost.

You are to blame for all this.
You should get out of here.

l love you and l love our child.

That?s why l came back to help,
even though it puts me in danger.

l committed a dreadful
crime against Mary

and l?ll have to do penance to the
end of time, but l love you both.

How could you help?
l am not at liberty to say.

Just know that l can save his life.

What am l to do?

Leave me alone
with him for a moment.

Listen, Darling.

This is Aage.
He was once my boyfriend.

Listen to what he has to say.
To more of his lies?

He?ll tell no more lies.

Spirits!

Spirits!

They?ve gone.

Most odd.

No, there is one on its way.

Drusse, l can put it right through!

Do you smell that smell?

Smell what?
Sulphur.

That?s not a ghost.
What is it, then?

lt?s a demon.

What?s the difference?

A ghost is a spirit that walks again.
A demon is a personification

of Satan!

Aage Krger!

That?s why they ran away,
the spirits ...

They sensed that he was here.

Like yesterday
in the lecture theatre.

Aage Krger k*lled the pastor.

Drusse, demons only
come if they are invoked.

Someone must be
worshipping the devil here!

This is the hospital
director general.

He wants to talk to employees
to obtain a picture of operations.

What have you to say?

From where l stand it looks like
we?ve at last got a management

capable of putting paid
to the consultant mafia.

Would you repeat that?

From where l stand it looks like
we?ve at last got a management

capable of putting paid
to the consultant mafia ...

Why did you do that, Nivesen?

Are you quite mad?

No, l feigned an att*ck
to see if the porter would help you.

But he didn?t.
No.

But l regard it as a healthy sign.

A modicum of class
hatred is necessary

to keep things running smoothly.

l can?t help feeling
it?s all a set up.

How so?
l don?t know.

From where l stand ...
Splendid.

l appreciate your clear
perception of the management.

Dr. Helmer?

l thought we said
your lovely office?

Shut up and push me about.

Get hold of the anaesthesia
report from Mona?s operation.

Hook has it,
if you want the slightest chance

of any kind of pass grade.

l am the very devil when crossed.

One antler broke off and
l removed the other to balance it.

Dr Helmer? The blue needs
analysis is on your desk.

How am l meant to get inside?

Cutbacks are fine

but when they?re
too mean to pay for doors

wide enough for wheelchairs

they go too damned far.

Damn it, Christian,
why the hell are you always here?

lt gives me food for thought.

Food for thought?
You have no problems, man.

lf you had mine, you wouldn?t
need to seek out other people?s.

l?m a quivering wreck.

Anywhere l go,
Camilla pops up and demands sex.

l?d see her erect nipples in
my sleep, if l got any sleep.

The bloke ...

... who was driving
the ambulance ...

l?m sure he tried to avoid me
by hitting the truck instead.

But he got scared.

l?m sure he thought about giving up
his own life, but his bottle went.

He had the choice.

But l?ve paid the price.

What makes a guy
toy with other people?s lives?

How are my wife and kids going
to get by? l can?t help them.

Dr. Helmer,
there?s a Swede in your office.

He says he?s a lawyer.

Send the idiot to the patient?s
toilet, l?ll see him there.

Yes, Sir.

9 ... by 10.

Wait, wait just a moment.

lf we cut it, it will no longer be
the world?s biggest hepatosarcoma.

lt won?t help research
unless it?s cut up.

l need to think.

Excuse my saying so ...

... but isn?t this one of those
??life?s choices?? you talk about?

ls it not so that one has
either a collection or research?

ln Brussels they?ve chosen to
have a collection and no research.

Science, Professor Bondo.
Science.

Oh, you are so young!

No, l need to think.
Nor do l feel quite well.

l also had some biopsies
taken this morning.

No, l can?t do it today.

l thought you said your office?

lt?s about the Mona case.
How do l get out of it?

Have the police
questioned you?

Why?

There is no danger as long
as you didn?t sign a statement.

The police said l had to.

For this country?s
legal system

l suggest we adopt
for the Swedish Defence.

What the hell is that?

The most devilish w*apon
democracy has bestowed on us.

Something our country is renowned
for ... Time, time, time, time!

We?ll drag things out.

l could have come up
with that by myself.

When it?s so effective
in a country like ours,

just think how it?ll work
in a country like this one!

Magnusson from Uppsala won
solely by using the tactic.

One must prevent the case
from ever reaching court.

Witnesses die.

Charges are dropped
due to lack of evidence.

What do l do next?

Make sure you don?t appear in court.

A bailiff will appear
with a yellow envelope.

He will ask
if you are Stig G. Helmer.

And l say ??No?? like l always do.

You must not answer
any questions.

Unless he can prove
that you are you

and that you have heard what
it?s all about, it won?t count.

An idiotic rule.

lt?s an idiotic country.

The time seems to have come.
What are you babbling about?

My colleagues disdain me.

But they all agree that
l can smell a bailiff a mile off.

Swedish bailiffs smell more pungent.

But there?s a bailiff
up this passage ...

What do l do?
You want legal advice?

Leg it.
Or wheel it.

l am from the city court
and l have a writ to serve on you.

Are you Stig G. Helmer?

Sanne ... l am Falcon.

And l?m a little dove Falcon
wants to get his talons into.

Get those talons in
and cut the crap.

Sanne, did you hear what l said?

l may have found a secret passion
counter to all common sense ...

Christian, l?m watching splatter.

Go and be boring
with someone else.

Helmer? Helmer, are you asleep?

ls there no peace and quiet
on this ward?

Good we met.

l may have found a method

which should hit
the nail on the head.

Rebirthing.

Maybe it would be
something for you, too.

Maybe there are a few things
from the past that need checking?

May l come in?

Has Aage Krger been here?

l thought so,
seeing as there were no spirits.

But now they?ve begun coming back.
Can you see them?

l can?t see anything.
No.

Never mind.
l wondered if you needed someone

to talk to?

They say he?ll die.

That he is growing
straight into death.

Yes. lt does look like it.

lt?s so sad.

What did Aage Krger want?

He said he could save my baby.

But Little Brother wanted
nothing to do with him.

Let?s look at it logically.

You don?t know it, but we have
proof that Aage Krger is a demon.

Perhaps you suspected as much?

As he is the baby?s father
and you?re the baby?s mother

there is a fusion
of the demonic

and the human.

Little Brother has
the potential for both.

You mean he is evil?
No, on the contrary.

Little Brother so much wants Good
that he represses the demonic.

That is very beautiful.

But why is he so big?

Because somewhere
inside him he knows

that he contains evil,

and that the only decent thing he
can do is to show the world as much.

l don?t think we can change that.

Aage said
he?d save his life.

lf Little Brother
would say yes to evil.

But he has said no and thereby
condemned himself to death.

You should be proud.

That?s why the spirits have come.

They?ve come

to hallow Little Brother.

Even though you cannot
see all the souls,

perhaps you can sense

the respect and love they have

for Little Brother.

Close your eyes ...

l?ll help you.

One day you will
be able to see them.

Look forward to that day!

lt didn?t fit.
lt won?t go in.

No, it?s too big.
Like the baby.

ln that case it isn?t a glass.
Maybe it?s a vase.

Or a jug.

lt is not a jug.
And it is not a vase.

What is it, then?

lf it isn?t a glass
or a jug or a vase,

it is nothing ...

... and you needn?t wash it up.

Because ?nothing? cannot get dirty.

Put it aside, and keep it
close to your heart.

Why the Kingdom?

Why are they all here,
the spirits, the ghosts,

the strange child and the demon?
Why here?

Why is this where
someone is worshipping evil?

All these questions!

Quite frankly, Bulder,
it?s time you pulled your weight.

You must have
some of the answers.

Bulder,
where do you feel most at ease?

We must find somewhere
where you feel at ease.

l?m afraid the DG is beginning
to see how things hang together ...

Try a walk in
the Deer Park in autumn.

You?d see the great red deer stag,
bellowing and lashing out.

But begin to see how things hang
together? l don?t think it does.

l feel no improvement from the
trial medicine Steenbeck gave me.

l don?t believe it works.
Oh, l say ...

There are limits as to how
long l can keep things rolling.

Hi, Hook.

l see everything
clearly now, Mogge.

The filth must go.
Everything unclean.

Why have l been passed over
for promotion for so long?

Why am l only a registrar?

Because l am too big for them.
But now it?s my turn.

A purge is needed,
and l?m too smart for them.

Of course you are.
That anaesthesia report ...

Nobody could find it. Now that
was smart ... How did you do it?

We?re not talking about
that report now, Mogge.

We?re talking about what
my brain can do for the hospital.

My brain, right, Mogge?
Yes.

We must have a long talk about it.

Another beer?
No, thank you.

He?s at ease now.

Are you ready, Bulder?

l?m going to help you
to make a journey.

An imaginary journey.

You will travel into
the very innards of this building

to greet the soul of the Kingdom.

Close your eyes, Bulder.

Your whole body is relaxing.

Feel the warmth

spreading.
You feel drowsy.

When you are ready for
your journey, give me a sign ...

Very good.

You are melting.

You are melting.

Trickle down between the bricks

and concrete.
You can percolate everywhere.

Slowly, slowly
you work your way

into the innermost core.

Tell me what you see, Bulder.

lt?s dark.

There?s a light.

Head towards the light, Bulder.

l?m in the deepest cellar.

A passageway.

There?s writing
on the wall.

Go closer.

What does it look like?

Letters ...

... cast into the wall.

They say ... THE KlNGDOM.

No, they are not
cast into the wall,

they are hanging there.

Oh, l pulled them off.

l?ll pick them up.

No, wait, Bulder,
look at the letters first.

They spell TlGER.

There?s a tiger.
lt?s coming towards me.

Turn yourself into
something else, Bulder.

Do what?

Turn into an animal
to save yourself!

What did you choose?

A penguin.

A penguin.
You turned yourself into a penguin?

Are you a complete idiot?

Pingu ...

You?ve spoiled everything.
Oh, Bulder!

You might as well come home.

Sorry, Mummy.

lt?s like the picture
in the Swedenborg Room.

The tiger, the birds,
and the serpent.

lf only l remembered it exactly!

l?ve got it at home.

Stuff and nonsense!
lt?s from my hippie period.

l tore it out of a magazine.
and kept it in a shoe box.

lt?s a picture of a lion
and a snake and lots of birds.

lt?s far out.

Now you mention it,
it could be from a magazine.

Why didn?t you tell me earlier?
Go and get that shoe box.

Or do l have to
do everything myself?

l should have known,
of all people.

Of course RlGET
(the Kingdom) is TlGER!

Anna Gram was my pseudonym
when l wrote for the Messenger!

Feel ... feel how tight it is?

lt?s rather tight.

Now the contractions are coming.
Are they coming now?

The world is calling.
There is no turning back.

You must pass
down the tight passage.

What have you to say about
the hardest journey in your life?

Scream it out!

lt was rather unpleasant ...
Terrifying, right?

... when you tightened the blanket.

You really don?t want to do this.
Oh, l do.

lt?s just that l?d imagined
a bit more of a hullabaloo.

l give you the most important
moment in your life on a platter!

And l?m very grateful.

l don?t think l can help you.
l need to think.

Drat.

Welcome, brethren, to the tribunal.

Before we can fight
the occult about us

we must acknowledge
our own tendencies,

and find the germ in ourselves.

We must be honest
in this process

no matter
how humiliating it may be.

Sinner, confess your guilt and
your guilt shall be taken from you.

Camomile tea.

How many times a day?
Two.

Morning and evening.

Remember how vital it is
that we purge ourselves.

Not even camomile tea?

Only at bedtime.

Chiropractics.
Oh, no!

You?re crying, Mummy.

l know

why you are sad.

You?re sad because
l?m going to die soon.

Don?t be silly, Darling.

l knew before
the wicked man said so.

You can?t keep anything from me.

l know you are sad about
everything you?ll miss out on.

l have an idea
which may cheer you up a bit ...

... in the time remaining to me.

Shall we play a game?

The game is that
l live a whole life.

Want to play?

OK, today is my first day at school.

l want to go on my own.
l don?t want you to take me.

Now l?m coming home.

Hello, Darling,
what was school like?

lt was horrid.

We didn?t learn a thing and
they didn?t give us any homework.

l missed you terribly.

Tomorrow you can take me.

Aah, ooh, my leg ...

Will you take me
to school tomorrow?

Say you will!
Of course l will.

There is nothing l?d rather do.

Hello?

197 4!

Goodness!

lf you ever feel like selling these
issues, l?ll be there in a flash.

But l?d understand
your clinging onto them.

By the way,
do you know what people mean

when they say Mickey Mouse
Magazine has deteriorated?

God knows l don?t.
The stories are smoother,

the colours brighter,
and the dialogue far more natural.

All that a**l sex!
ln my youth we said

??the proper way in
is the one with the doormat??.

You are quite right.

lt?s the same picture.

The tiger is the hospital.

The serpent is the doctors,
and the birds

are the spirits.

Look, the tiger is injured.

Maybe my task is to help the tiger.

Maybe my task is
to help the hospital ...

... which bears a wound.

All the dirt must go.
One day a great rain will come

and wash all the dirt away.
But nobody will heed what l say.

My thoughts have
always been too great.

Yes, too great.

l have been too clever.
Simply too clever.

Like with the anaesthesia report.

Yes, the anaesthesia report ...?

Do you know where l?ve hidden it?

Somewhere clever, l bet.
You bet your bloody life.

Where can you be certain
a document will never be found?

Under the mattress?

There is only one place
nobody would look.

And if they did,
they wouldn?t find it.

The archives!
Bloody hell, that?s clever.

Not only is an incorrectly
filed document gone for good,

but l?ve put it where
nobody would even look by mistake.

Where?

ln the Steeleman Report.

The Steeleman Report?

lt?s the 1991 Steeleman
Committee analysis

of similarities in the management
strategies of successive DGs here.

Steeleman expended
more than 789 pages

without identifying any
similarities whatsoever.

The report is notorious as the most
boring crap ever produced here.

lt?s so boring that even Steeleman
couldn?t get to the end of it.

Bloody hell!
Bloody hell!

ln the Steeleman Report
the details of Mona?s operation

are as secure as they?d be
in a Swedish bank vault.

Bloody hell!
Bloody hell!

This is the best we can do for now.

We must have a special frame
made tomorrow.

lf you?re going
to make a frame anyway,

could it be made so that l can be
lifted up and look out of the window?

Only if it?s no trouble.
But l?d so much like to peep out.

Of course, Darling.

l just wanted to say hello.

You look tired.
l just can?t sleep.

l brood so much about me and Stig.

You don?t look too
brighteyed, either.

l often cannot sleep
when l?ve been working very hard.

There is so much to do
at the academy.

l?m studying architecture,
and l?m sure l?ll get a good degree.

l have real flair,
everyone says so.

lt?s a little game we play.
l have a trick when l can?t sleep.

What do you do?

l pick up our worst textbook.

l find the worst 50 pages

and tell myself
l must get through them

before l can go to sleep.

That way l know that before
the first page l?ll be sound asleep.

Maybe l should try that.

Goodbye.

Oh, Mummy ...

Hear the little cat, Mummy

As it miaows to come in

The gulls and terns

Have nowhere to live

Hark, the stars are singing

Singing me to sleep

What can an old lady
like me do about this?

What a gale, what a gale ...

ls that the airport?

l?d like to speak
to the duty meteorologist.

Thank you.

My name is Sigrid Drusse.

Can you tell me about the
weather in Copenhagen? Locally?

Very locally? More precisely,
above the Kingdom Hospital?

Am l a pilot?

Yes. l?m going to fly round
the hospital in my little plane.

l want to know if it?s
so windy that l should wear a hat.

l must wear a hat?

Someone else who wants
to buy help for his exam?

No, thank you, Dr. Helmer.
l?m mugging up.

Where is it?
ln the 1991 Steeleman Report.

Shelf 243.

Just a moment.

Come in.

Hook is coming.

sh*t! Come on!

Damnation, you Sw ...

Why did you do that?
l panicked.

Panicked? Panicked?

That won?t help.
You can?t turn it off again.

No, l was scared.
And Hook is so weird these days.

Coming to Sanne?s?
No, l?ve someone to see.

lf you move the alarm will go off.

Equally nasty
for you and me.

l?m going to rip out your gizzards.
l know.

And make you eat them.
No, thank you.

They?re having terrible
trouble at Air Traffic Control.

Planes each have tracks
so they don?t collide.

Corridors.

Wrap up,
Mummy?s trying to explain.

Not tracks, corridors.
l?m in the Kingdom Flying Club

so l know.

Anyway, the planes have to change
track just above the hospital

and they?ve never seen the like.
Highly mystical.

Not mystical, thermal.

Thermals are rising air currents.

Oh ... You say you?re a
member of the flying club?

Do you fly?

Everyone flies a bit, don?t they?

Maybe we should all go up
for a look at the thermals.

Mummy, damn it, he can?t fly.

l can fly you round a bit.

A year or two ago
l was one of the best in the club.

A year or two ago.
Yes, before the crash.

The insurers said it was a writeoff.

You know what they?re like.
Those ownrisk clauses ...

Mummy, l?m not going.
Of course you are.

lt?s an old wives? tale
that flying is dangerous.

Archibald had a KZ
and we flew lots of lovely trips.

Like Karen Blixen and her lover
across the savannah.

ln those days there were
no such things as certificates.

l?m sure we?re in far
safer hands with Hansen.

l?ll be damned ...

What is it?

lt?s a very old alarm system.

lf one moves very slowly
... it won?t go off.

l?m going to get you ...

You Swede!

Slowly, you said?

lf you can move slowly, so can l.

Hello!

l am from the city court
and l have a writ to serve on you.

Are you Stig G. Helmer?

l am from the city court
and l have a writ to serve on you.

Are you Stig G. Helmer?

You don?t want me
to get hold of your family?

No.
l am so ashamed.

l have failed them.

Left them without a penny.

The kids ...

What about their education?

lf only l?d taken
care of my family ...

Your family will receive
loads of compensation.

Your family has been taken care of.

Really and truly?

Yes.

He is dead.

lt was kind of you to tell
him about the compensation,

even though it wasn?t true.

You rang?

l?ve been thinking
about my situation.

lt?d be best if
l talked to mummy now.

Will you call her?

Yes.
Of course.

Thank you. Will you tell her
that it?s very important?

lt?s cold today.

Yet it will get much colder.

lt is also quiet.

Will it get quieter, too?

Mmmm ... soon.

So quiet it hurts to hear it.

When?

When the big baby dies.

There will be silence in heaven
and earth when the big baby dies.

Thereafter
there will be no turning back.

THE KlNGDOM FLYlNG CLUB

Come on, Bulder!

l haven?t time
to talk to you all now

and you promised
not to bother me.

Don?t you start the engine first?
Yes, that?s right.

Don?t you do loads
of checks first?

You are a wimp, Bulder; people
like you make life so constricted.

Go on, admit it, you?d rather
have stayed on the ground.

Kilimanjaro!

Getting a pilot?s license
seems far too easy to me.

l never said l had a license.

l would have had,
if the trainer hadn?t got pranged.

Bulder, keep to the middle!

Surely it?s not too late to join in?

Whoops! How like doctors, eh?

lf one falls,
they all fall.

Why is Professor Tribini
looking so down in the mouth?

Bondo?s biopsy results came in.
The cancer has metastased.

lt doesn?t look good.
What now?

Will he continue his glamorous
research into a disease

no devil has heard of,
or will he allow vanity to triumph?

No matter how emotional it may be,
the time has come for us

to accept that
our ways must part.

A complaint about me
was on its way.

But l think l can cope
beyond these walls.

Damn it, don?t you see that
this childishness must cease?

Do you feel anything?
No.

Yet this is where
the thermal ought to be.

We?ve talked over
what you said.

That you would do one more run

and you needed
a tidy bit of dough.

Something?s on the cards.

We?ve a special twist
to push the stakes up.

Rigmor, what are you doing here?

You want to join the lodge?

Well, birds of a feather
flock together, as they say.

Sit down with Professors
Tweedledee and Tweedledum

and Humpty Dumpty,
if there?s room

for your prodigious bum.

l only came to fetch you.

lsn?t having fun with the lads
a thing of one?s youth?

Our carefree salad days?

lf you come home with me now,
l shan?t get angry.

Are you crazy?
l?m not going home with anyone.

l am rid of you
and these ...

... Danish scum.

Ah, so you found the report?
l thought you would.

What are you babbling about?
Have you opened it?

WlTH LOVE FROM RlGMOR

This isn?t the report
on Mona?s operation.

Don?t tell me the Swedes
can?t get to the core of a problem.

But as usual, a mite too late.

l have the report now,
so l call the sh*ts.

lndeed.
But how?

l couldn?t sleep, so l sought
the most boring prose l could find.

The Steeleman Report?
Precisely.

And there it was.
The anaesthesia report.

And l swapped the report
for my billetdoux.

You devil!

No, no, no, l haven?t got it on me.
lt?s safe and sound, in a bank.

Which bank?
Not in Denmark. ln Malm.

The Mona report is
safe in a Swedish vault.

Then all is lost.

Beloved Rigmor ...

Shall l ring the removal man
to take my stuff to your place?

Save your energy ... l?ve rung him.

Excuse me ...
thank you, thank you.

lf somebody would put
Helmer down for 22 strokes?

The road is almost dead straight.

When you get to the railway bridge,
you can use the sprinkler

and drive normally.

A blind run?

You need the money, right?

A blind run?

Three crowns?
Three cruds, more like.

Culture, Finesse and Refinement

resting on the bottom
of a Danish crapper.

The odds were uneven
from the beginning.

My emotional disposition does not
suit the methods of this country,

and l?ll be damned
if enough isn?t enough.

No more Mr. Nice Guy!

Come and get it, Danish scum!

That?s it!
Watch me!

lt?s a strong ?un, this thermal.

Get your bearings.

Turn off the engine.

O YBUF you are off track,
confirm your position.

l KNOW SOMETHlNG

Stop messing around.
lt?s not funny.

lf you want to tell me
you are getting married

or anything else
from your play life,

l don?t want to know.
lt?s not a good game.

No, Mummy,
we aren?t playing any more.

lt has to end now.

Will you release me from
the frame ... so l can die?

What?s that light below the clouds?

lt?s pretty.

lt looks like a runway.
lt?s the illuminated fountain pond.

And it?s the first thing
you see as you come flying.

What the hell is going on?

Hold on tight!

Hold tight!

Dimensions, ladies and gentlemen,
do matter.

Everything can be described
in numbers, metres and microns.

Too many numbers,
or too few,

and we must purge or add more.

Far more often than you?d think,
perhaps we choose our own numbers.

Little Brother grew big,
the sarcoma grew big.

People are legion,
and when they gaze up at the stars

they may be tempted
to call themselves ??small??.

ln reality we?d be
far closer to the truth

if we said that
none of it actually existed.

Compared to the universe
the sarcoma, Little Brother

and the Kingdom are
neither great nor small.

Their aspirations, their stories
and their pain are insignificant.

lf three people
die in an aeroplane

or a thousand of our worlds
vanish in a flash of light

it won?t make the man in the moon
across the galaxy bat an eyelid.

That?s how it is,
and a good thing too.

My name is Lars von Trier and l
wish you all a really good evening.

lf you are drawn by the Kingdom
again despite its minor dimensions

and spend more time with us
despite our numerical limitations

be prepared to take
the Good with the Evil.