It's funny: before yesterday,
I'd never set foot on this station,
but it's as familiar to me
as the back of my hand.
Isn't that odd?
You have no idea who I am, do you?
I didn't think so.
Thanks for listening anyway.
I was k*lled here.
I mean, Jadzia was.
I try not to think about that.
If I did, I'm not sure I could come here.
It's a strange sensation, dying.
No matter how many times it happens
to you, you never get used to it.
It must be a little disconcerting for you,
knowing that I have Jadzia's memories.
No wonder you're uncomfortable.
- It's a lot to get used to.
- Tell me about it.
Well... I'll let you get to your prayers.
- Bloodwine.
- That's the good stuff.
I served it
when you and Worf got married.
It smells awful.
- It used to be your favourite.
- I used to be right-handed, too.
- A lot's changed since I was joined.
- I can imagine.
Seven lifetimes' worth of memories
would mix up anyone.
- Or is it eight?
- Who knows anymore?
It'll be easier once you're settled in.
Have you picked out your quarters?
I'm not staying. I'm going back to the
Destiny to be an assistant counsellor.
- You're a therapist?
- Why is everyone so surprised?
It's just...
...you're so young.
Why are you in such a hurry to leave?
Why not get to know
your old friends again?
I don't want to force things.
People need time
to get over losing Jadzia.
Besides Benjamin,
you're the only one of Jadzia's friends
who's not uncomfortable around me.
She and I were close, I don't see
any reason why we shouldn't be.
Remember all those
late night tongo games?
Who could forget?
Wait a minute. You owe me ten slips
of latinum from our last game!
I don't think so.
I won with a full consortium.
I remember.
- Your memory's playing tricks on you.
- Don't say that. I'm already confused.
Look who's here.
I bet the two of you
have a lot to talk about.
Come in.
- Dax.
- Are you alone?
Why are you sneaking in this way?
I didn't want to go through ops
in case Worf was there.
We bumped into each other
last night at Quark's.
It didn't go well, I take it?
Were you expecting him
to accept you right away?
Of course not.
But he wouldn't even talk to me.
Perhaps he was just
honouring your customs.
Joined Trills shouldn't get involved
with previous hosts' spouses.
We can talk to each other.
Worf knows that.
- Are you sure?
- Jadzia told him all about our traditions.
We discussed them.
They discussed them.
These pronouns
are going to drive me crazy.
Look at him, Benjamin. He's in pain.
- How can you tell?
- I was his wife. I can tell.
I don't want to put him through
any more heartache.
It's a good thing
I'm going back to the Destiny.
- You're still planning on leaving?
- I can't stay here.
I couldn't do that to him.
Besides, I think it might be easier
for me on the Destiny.
There are too many memories here.
I'm going to miss you, old man.
I'm going to miss you too,
Benjamin.
If you feel that strongly,
you can be Crockett. I'll be Travis.
- And who am I going to be again?
- General Santa Anna.
When can our costumes be ready?
Garak? When can
our holosuite costumes be ready?
You'll have to find them elsewhere.
The shop's closed.
- Still?
- Intelligence is keeping me busy.
What if we let you be Crockett?
I don't have the time.
Do you know how long it takes to
decode a Cardassian transmission?
I invented some of the basic encryption
protocols for the Obsidian Order
but it still takes me days to decipher
a simple sentence.
- You've got to take a break sometime.
- I will.
When the Dominion
is driven off Cardassia.
Must you stand so close?
- That was a bit harsh.
- I don't like people looming over me.
I have to get back to work.
Thank you for your company,
gentlemen.
Ahem.
I can't... breathe.
Garak! Odo to the Infirmary.
We have a medical emergency.
He had a claustrophobic att*ck
in his shop.
I don't understand.
That's a good sized space.
I know. I've been claustrophobic
for as long as I can remember,
but it seems to have gotten worse.
Rooms that I once found
completely tolerable
now suddenly feel alarmingly cramped.
I wish I had an explanation but I don't.
- He checks out fine.
- Well, I don't feel fine.
Would you mind terribly if we continued
this conversation on the Promenade?
- Better?
- A little.
I appreciate your situation but
I'm not sure why you asked to see me.
I was hoping you'd express
my regrets to Starfleet Intelligence.
My concentration isn't what it should be.
I'm afraid I won't be decoding
any transmissions for a while.
- When can they expect you back?
- I wish I could say.
I'm not happy about this either.
I want to see an end to this w*r
just as much as you.
Now if you'll excuse me,
I'm going to go hem some pants.
For some reason,
sewing seems to calm me down.
Sewing?
We can't afford
to lose Mr Garak right now.
Is there anything you can do for him?
Our friend Garak needs
his head examined.
Me? You want me to work with Garak?
- You're a counsellor, aren't you?
- I'm still in training.
What will you
learn in the next few months
that you haven't learned
in the last 300 years?
How to keep from breaking into tears,
how to stop standing on my head.
- Things like that.
- Why are you standing on your head?
- Emony used to do it.
- The gymnast?
- She found it relaxing.
- Do you?
Actually, it's giving me a headache.
- Why can't Julian work with Garak?
- Julian's no counsellor,
not even an assistant counsellor.
And he doesn't have
eight lifetimes of experience.
I bet he doesn't stand on his head.
That's a good point.
Come on, old man. You can do this.
All right. I'll try.
I just wish I had as much confidence
in me as you do.
- So what do you think?
- About what?
- About her.
- Who?
- Dax.
- Oh, Ezri.
- She seems... nice.
- Meaning what?
Meaning... nice.
Oh, Doctor.
I know how you felt about Jadzia.
- She's not Jadzia.
- She's the next best thing.
- So are you interested?
- You're the one who's interested.
You don't often get
a second chance with a woman.
- It's not the same woman.
- She's still Dax, isn't she?
- More or less.
- That's good enough for me.
Ready for a little competition?
- You're insane.
- And you... are going to lose.
Am I interrupting?
Ah!
You must be Ezri Dax.
The Captain said
you'd be dropping by to counsel me.
- Is that all right?
- It depends on what it involves.
- I'm a very private person.
- I understand.
So is it helping?
The sewing.
Is it making you feel better?
- Thankfully, yes.
- You're lucky. Nothing helps me.
- Are you claustrophobic, too?
- Why would you say that?
You just said...
No, I get spacesick.
Ever since I was joined.
I'm sensitive to motion.
I can feel the station spinning.
Really?
It's because of Torias.
He was k*lled in a shuttle accident.
- Why would that make you spacesick?
- I blame myself for what happened.
- You were piloting?
- Yes.
No. Depends on how you look at it.
Torias was my fifth host. Did I say that?
- No.
- Well, he was.
His death is staying with me because...
I can't forgive him for getting k*lled.
But you said it was an accident.
If he's not to blame,
then you're not to blame, either.
I know. But somehow I can't help
but punish myself for it.
- By getting spacesick.
- Exactly.
Don't take this the wrong way,
but it sounds like you're the one
who needs to see a counsellor.
You're probably right.
But I didn't come here to talk about
myself. I came to talk about you.
So you did.
Did anything traumatic happen to you
when you were young?
Something about being trapped
in a confined space.
If I had been that careless,
my father would have left me there.
Sounds like he was strict.
He didn't get to be head of
the Obsidian Order without discipline.
- Did he discipline you?
- He punished me when I misbehaved.
- What father wouldn't?
- Tobin.
- Who?
- My second host.
He could not bring himself
to discipline his children.
But that's another story.
- How did your father punish you?
- He'd lock me in a closet.
Why didn't you say that when I asked
if you'd ever been trapped?
I wasn't trapped. I knew he'd let me out
when I learned my lesson.
Did you think you deserved
to be locked in that closet?
I could be very stubborn.
You blame yourself.
Just like I blame
myself for that shuttle accident.
Maybe you get claustrophobic for
the same reason that I get spacesick.
We're both punishing ourselves
for things that weren't our fault.
That's it! Don't you see?
We both have to let go
of all this misplaced guilt.
And if we do, our problems
will simply disappear?
Not overnight but it's a step
in the right direction.
I'll certainly give your advice
some thought.
Me too.
- Are you all right?
- I'm starting to feel a bit claustrophobic.
Probably because
we've been talking about it.
I'm starting to feel a little spacesick.
If you don't mind,
I think I'll go back to my sewing.
- Good idea.
- Thank you for stopping by.
My pleasure.
Hello, Worf.
Ensign.
Ensign?
That's all you have to say to me?
What more is there to say?
- I was your wife.
- You are not Jadzia.
Jadzia d*ed and went to Sto-Vo-Kor.
I do not know you. Nor do I wish to.
Come in.
Dax?
Could we adjust the inertial dampers
so the station would spin slower?
I don't know. Why?
Never mind.
To what do I owe the pleasure?
I won't say I told you so,
but Garak stopped by Odo's office
to pick up the Cardassian
transmissions for decoding.
- Really?
- His claustrophobia is under control.
- I guess our talk helped him.
- I told you so.
- You weren't going to say that.
- I couldn't resist.
Are you all right?
I talked with Worf. He doesn't want
to have anything to do with me.
- Perhaps I should have a talk with him.
- Absolutely not.
- You intimidate him.
- Me?
Don't tell him I told you.
I intimidate Worf!
- You like that, don't you?
- Of course not.
Come on. I've been a man. I know.
We're not talking about me and Worf,
we're talking about you and Worf.
I sympathise with
what he's going through,
but you have
as much right to be here as he does.
What are you getting at, Benjamin?
The w*r has certainly not been
very good for morale around here.
I've been thinking
the station could use a good counsellor.
I can't think of anyone
better suited for the job.
Thanks for saying that.
But even if Worf wasn't an issue,
I'm still just an assistant counsellor.
I talked to Starfleet Medical.
They'll waive the rest of your training
and give you a commission as a full
counsellor with the rank of lieutenant.
How did you talk them into that?
I asked them what
you'd learn in a few months...
That I haven't already learned
in the last 300 years.
They saw my point.
I hope you do, too.
It means a lot to me
that you want me to stay. But I can't.
- Because of Worf?
- Mostly.
Well. You just say the word,
and I will intimidate him for you.
Idanian spice pudding. No, cancel that.
I'll have kilm steak, rare.
No, Tobin was a vegetarian.
Give me...
Two Fanalian toddies. Hot.
- How did you know?
- Lucky guess.
- Care to join me?
- Sure.
So... here we are.
- What was that?
- What was what?
That look.
This might be the last thing
you want to hear,
but you have Jadzia's eyes.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have said anything.
- Don't flirt with me, Julian. Please.
- I'm not.
- I remember you flirting with Jadzia.
- It was just an observation.
Good. Because I'm not like her.
She knew how to handle it.
- Actually, she quite enjoyed it.
- Really?
You didn't know?
I always suspected.
You can be very charming.
You know what? If Worf hadn't come
along, it would've been you.
You really miss her, don't you?
Yes. I uh... suppose I always will.
But somehow,
talking to you seems to help.
- 'Deputy Talpet to Dr Bashir. '
- Go ahead.
'We have a medical emergency
in airlock 7. It's Garak. '
I'm on my way.
Garak! What's he doing in there?
Garak, open the door!
Let me out! Let me out!
Breathe in... and out.
In... and out.
Better?
It's beautiful, isn't it? Look at that sky.
It just goes on and on.
But it doesn't. It's an illusion.
There's a holosuite wall
not ten metres in front of us.
- But you can't see it.
- I can feel it.
- We could call up another program.
- I humiliated myself back there.
I just wanted to get out.
I couldn't breathe.
If you were looking for fresh air,
you were knocking on the wrong door.
I have to get this situation under control.
If I can't, I'll be forced to leave
the station. Where will I go?
I can't go back to Cardassia.
I doubt I'd be welcome on Bajor.
You're not going
to have to leave the station.
I'll tell Quark to make this holosuite
available to you 26 hours a day.
Next time you feel like jumping out
the nearest airlock, come here instead.
It's going to be all right.
We're going to get this under control.
I promise.
If you don't mind,
I'd like to be alone for a while.
I'll check in on you later.
Aargh!
Hold still.
I think I've got something.
I knew it. Never get a tympanic tickle
from an amateur.
Tympanic tickle? Never mind.
I don't want to know.
Hold still. I'm going to get you
some antibiotics.
- We need to talk.
- About what?
Do not toy with me, Doctor.
I know how you felt about Jadzia.
- That was a long time ago.
- I saw you with her.
- Jadzia?
- You know who I'm talking about.
- You've got it all wrong.
- Stay away from her.
Now wait just a minute.
You have no right to tell me
who I can be friends with.
If you dishonour Jadzia's memory,
you will regret it.
That goes for you too, Ferengi.
What did I do?
Garak?
I thought you were staying
in the holosuite.
I got tired of staring
at a fake landscape, pretending.
No. Work is the answer.
My father said people should
throw themselves into their work.
"Do your chores, Elim.
I told you to do your chores. "
And if you didn't?
What would he do to you?
Please, don't start.
Spare me your insipid psychobabble.
I'm not a neurotic who feels sorry for
himself because his daddy wasn't nice.
You couldn't begin to understand me.
- I'd like to try.
- I'm sure you would.
You'd love
to pry into my personal affairs.
Well, I'm not interested in
dissecting my childhood.
I want to save my people
from the Dominion.
I don't need someone to hold my hand.
I want someone
to help me get back to work.
And you, my dear,
are not up to this task.
Look at you. You're pathetic.
A confused child trying to live up to
a legacy left by her predecessors.
You're not worthy of the name Dax.
I knew Jadzia. She was vital, alive.
She owned herself.
And you. You don't even
know who you are.
How dare you presume to help me?
You can't even help yourself.
Now get out of here
before I say something unkind.
- What's this all about?
- What does it look like?
- I'm resigning from Starfleet.
- Why?
Because I can't do my job.
Garak was right.
How can I help others
when I can't help myself?
- This has been a hard time, old man...
- Don't call me that! I'm not the old man.
- I'm not Curzon. Or Jadzia.
- No, you're Ezri. Ezri Dax.
You've been given eight lifetimes'
worth of experience.
I know this is confusing right now, but
in time you'll see it's a wonderful gift.
It's a gift I don't deserve.
If that's the way you feel,
then go back to Trill.
Talk to the Symbiosis Commission.
Convince them
to take the symbiont out of you.
Removing the symbiont would k*ll me.
You know that.
Well, if you're leaving Starfleet,
you'll have to find something to do.
Let's see. Maybe you could
become one of the people
who take care of the symbiont pools.
It's quiet in those caves.
No one around.
No one expecting great things of you.
You could spend the rest of your life
underground, in the dark, stirring mud.
80 or 90 years of that
just might be what you need.
And as for Dax?
That symbiont had eight amazing lives.
So what if the ninth was a waste?
Stop it. I thought you
of all people would understand.
I do understand. And you were right.
You don't deserve the Dax symbiont.
Quite frankly, you don't deserve
to wear that uniform.
I'll pass this on to Starfleet Command.
Dismissed.
Enter.
- Oh, no. Not again.
- Compliments of Dr Bashir.
- He sent you?
- No, that was my idea.
If you want to skip the drinking and get
right down to the talking, I'm game.
What is it you wish to discuss?
There's nothing going on
between Julian and Ezri.
- There's no reason to be jealous.
- This is not jealousy!
I know Dr Bashir cared for Jadzia
but this woman is not Jadzia.
Treating her as if she were
dishonours her memory.
Wrong. Treating Ezri like a stranger
dishonours Jadzia's memory.
It doesn't make any sense.
She is not Jadzia, yet she is.
How can I honour Jadzia's memory
when she's not really dead?
I don't have an answer for you, Worf.
But how do you think Jadzia
would want you to treat Ezri?
- There is no way to know.
- Yes, there is.
And the person who can tell you
is the person you've been avoiding.
I didn't think
you'd darken my doorstep again.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
I wish I'd been able to help you.
So do I.
You don't have to worry about me
bothering you. I'm leaving.
Yes, I'd heard the Destiny
was going to arrive tomorrow.
They're putting in for supplies.
But I won't be going with them.
- I've decided to go back to Trill.
- How nice for you.
Actually, the Destiny's joining
the Seventh Fleet at Kalandra.
- Kalandra?
- Those transmissions you decoded
convinced Starfleet that
it's a good place for a new offensive.
Yes. The transmissions did indicate
that it was somewhat vulnerable.
If the offensive goes well,
Starfleet will have you to thank.
That's most gratifying.
I just thought you should know.
- Are you all right?
- Of course.
That's very good news about Kalandra.
Let's hope it goes well. The
Cardassians will put up a strong fight.
Indeed they will.
But in the end, they'll lose.
- How can you be so sure?
- They won't be expecting an att*ck.
They have no idea
that I broke their code.
All those Cardassians
are going to die because of me.
- That's one way of looking at it.
- What other way is there?
By helping to end the w*r,
you're saving lives.
What lives would I be saving?
Human? Klingon? Romulan?
- And Cardassian.
- No, not Cardassians.
They're going to fight to the bitter end.
Don't you understand? Don't you see?
I wanted to believe I was helping
my people, liberating them.
But all I've done
is pave the way for their annihilation.
I'm a traitor!
I've betrayed... every...
Dax to Infirmary. I need a medical team.
- How are you feeling?
- I'm breathing much better now.
At least we found out what's been
triggering these claustrophobic att*cks.
When I agreed to help Starfleet,
I was convinced
it was the right thing to do.
I didn't allow myself to doubt it,
even for an instant.
I never realised
how much it was gnawing at me.
I suppose I was looking for a way out
and the claustrophobia gave me
an excuse to stop fighting my people.
- What are you going to do?
- Get back to work.
What else can I do?
The Dominion must be stopped.
Even if it means
the destruction of Cardassia.
The Captain will be glad
you're back on the job.
He has you to thank for it.
And so do I.
What about you? Are you still
planning to go back to Trill?
No. I'm going to stay in Starfleet.
I'm sure the Captain
will be glad to hear that as well.
The Captain!
- What now?
- I want to be reinstated into Starfleet.
I can't send this to Starfleet Command.
- Why not?
- I never submitted your resignation.
I had a feeling you didn't mean
all those things you said.
You were just rattling my cage.
You've done it to me often enough.
I'm glad it worked.
Mr Garak has asked for the latest
Cardassian transmissions.
- Well done.
- Thanks.
I thought you'd be happier
that I was staying in Starfleet.
I'd be happier
if you would stay here at DS9.
Me, too. But you know I can't.
I hope Captain Raymer
knows how lucky she is.
She's getting one hell of a counsellor.
Yes.
- May I come in?
- Of course.
I understand that
you are leaving in the morning.
That's right.
I am not certain that I have treated you
the way Jadzia would have wanted.
You'll get no argument from me there.
I loved her with all my heart.
And she loved you.
Part of me is glad to know
that she is not gone forever.
But in some ways
it would be easier if she were.
I know.
I heard that the Captain
offered you a position.
I... I would not want you
to decline on my account.
Worf, I can't stay.
I couldn't do that to you.
- Do you wish to stay?
- Very much.
Then do.
Jadzia would not have wanted
you to leave because of me.
Thank you.
It will be a long time before
I can accept what has happened.
Until then...
You need your breathing room.
I understand.
Congratulations, Lieutenant.
Take a good look around.
You have just taken responsibility
for the mental health of everyone here.
You have your work cut out for you.
I'm glad they made you a lieutenant.
I couldn't take advice from an ensign.
Since when did you take advice
from anyone?
- Why don't you join us for dinner?
- I don't want to put you out.
Please come. He just sits there
and counts how many times I chew.
I'll be there.
- She is cute.
- She's also 300 years too old for you.
I took the liberty of putting
a plate together for you.
Thanks, Quark. Worf isn't here, is he?
Good question. Excuse me.
It's quite a nice turnout.
Congratulations.
- I hope it isn't too crowded for you.
- Not at all.
07x03 - Afterimage
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
A spin-off of `Star Trek: The Next Generation', `Deep Space Nine' is set on a space station orbiting the planet Bajor.
A spin-off of `Star Trek: The Next Generation', `Deep Space Nine' is set on a space station orbiting the planet Bajor.