01x13 - Wingmen

[bunniefuu]

♪ I am the visual The inspiration ♪

♪ That made lady Sing the blues ♪

♪ I'm the spark That makes your idea bright ♪

♪ The same spark That lights the dark ♪

♪ So that you can know Left from right ♪

♪ I am the ballot in your box The b*llet in the g*n ♪

♪ The inner glow That lets you know ♪

♪ To call your brother sun ♪

♪ The story that just begun ♪

♪ The promise Of what's to come ♪

♪ And I'm-a remain a soldier ♪

♪ Till the w*r is won Won ♪

♪ Chop, chop, chop Judo flip ♪

♪ Chop, chop, chop Judo flip ♪

♪ Chop, chop, chop Judo flip ♪

♪ Chop, chop, chop ♪

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Oh, um, Granddad,

there was something I was
supposed to tell you.

Uh, yeah. I think that,
uh, Aunt Cookie called,

and I think
it was important.

What--?
Did you write it down?

Nah. But it was somethin'
about this dude named...Mo.

Mo? You mean Mo Jackson?

Yeah, yeah. That's him.

Uh, I think it was
something about--

Oh, oh, wait.
I remember now. Yeah.

Something about him
dying...or something.

Mo's dead?

Yeah. I think so.
Something like that.

Oh, well.
I'm not really sure.

You should probably
call her back.

Well, how long ago
did she call?

I don't know.
Few days ago.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Well, how did it happen?

Well, you know Mo.

He took them pills that,
you know, help y'all.

So anyway,
you know how they say

if your erection
lasts more than four hours,

you have to seek
immediate medical attention?

Four to six.

He didn't.

Oh.

[LAUGHING]

Lord, Robert, the man's dead.

Can't you let it go?

I can let it go now,
'cause he's dead, and I'm not.

♪ Ol' Mo's dead
Dead, dead, dead ♪

[SIGHS]
♪ Mo's dead ♪

You two are just the same.
Whoo!

Stubborn dumb-asses.
[LAUGHING]

The funeral's the day
after tomorrow, Robert,

and you have to come.

Mo left you something
in his will.

He did?
It's complicated.

Robert,
how are the boys?

I hate 'em both. Bye.

Boys, we're going home.

You wanna come over to my house
tomorrow after school

and watch TV?

No.

Do you wanna come over
and...play video games?

No.

Do you wanna come over
and...have a jump-rope contest?

I'm going back home to Chicago.

For good?

No, I wish.

We're going for a funeral,

one of my granddad's
old friends.

But I'm gonna get to see
my best friend, Cairo.

Cairo is your best friend?

Yeah, but I haven't
talked to him since I moved.

How can he be your best friend
if you never talk to him?

I don't think
I have a best friend.

Hm. Sucks for you.

Well, if I never come back,
have a nice life.

Bye.

GRANDDAD:
Oh, I used to love to fly.

Your granddaddy was
the best n*gro pilot of the w*r.

Mo was my wingman,
called himself Mo Gunz.

How would you like to hear

a little story
about World w*r II?

[♪♪♪♪♪]

All right, Mo,
we're five minutes from target.

We got bandits in the area.
Look sharp.

[MO LAUGHING OVER RADIO]

MO: I'm gonna bin 'em and spin 'em

and go up in 'em.

Bullshit ain't nothing but chewed-up grass.

Just a big black ball that comes out of

a cow's ass.

[LAUGHING]

Hey, Robert?

Robert!

Hey, don't ignore me, n*gga.

You hear me talkin' to you.

What n*gga you know got enough heart

to fly in the middle over n*zi Germany

with a white woman on his plane, huh?

Who do you know
would do some sh*t like that?

Mo Gunz, that's who.

Mo, I'm trying to concentrate.

And I dare one of these crackers

to say somethin'. sh*t.

I woke up this mornin'

wantin' to sh**t me a white man.

GRANDDAD:
Bandits. Two of them

coming right at us.

Look alive, Mo.

MO: Aw, sh*t. Here we go.

Two-on-two,
some real combat sh*t.

Do they know

who they f*ckin' with?

This is Mo Gunz, all-pro, all-state.

You know what I'm saying?

Apollo legend.

I'mmm the sh*t.

[SPEAKING IN GERMAN]

MO: Hey, Robert, two bucks say

I save your ass this fight.

Two bucks, n*gga.

Come on. Where you at with it?

What? Two bucks.

You save me, I'll give

your ass two bucks.

Two bucks? Still owe me $.

MO: Come on, Robert, man.

Man-up, Robert.

Mo, will you focus?

I'm focused on gettin'
your $, n*gga.

We ain't got a lot of time.

All right, all right, two bucks.

MO: You can't hit that plane.

Look at you. Ha-ha-ha!

He makin' you look stupid.
Damn, Robert.

You just missed him again.

You couldn't hit the ground with a turd, n*gga.

What's takin' you so long, baby?

You need some help.
Ha-ha-ha, ha-ha!

Damn it, Mo. I got this.

MO: That's one thing I can say:

You are terrible.

Will you please
shut the f*ck up?

MO: I'm glad I'm not you.

I'm glad I'm me.

Look at him flip.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

MO: You think you bad?

You think you gonna get
some b*tches off of that?

You think you gonna get
some airplane p*ssy?

Lordy-Lordy-Lord.
Mo, I need help.

Mo, he's on my tail.
Where you at?

I thought you said you had him.

I'm not playin' around!

Hurry up and save me!
You realize,

if I save you, you done
lost the bet, huh, n*gga?

This ain't funny, Mo.

Mo, this is not funny.
This is not amusing.

MO: Boy, you better

stop rushin' me.

Lower your f*ckin' voice.

You actin' like
a little bitch right now.

GRANDDAD: I am about to die.

What is wrong with you?

MO: Get ready, Jebediah.

You gonna tell your grandkids
about this one.

[SPEAKING IN GERMAN]

Mo, stop!

Mo, stop it, stop it!
You're sh**t' me!

Oh, my God. He's not
even lookin'. He's incredible.

GRANDDAD: Damn it, you're sh**t' me!

Yeah, he's runnin' away.
He's runnin' away, bitch.

Mo Gunz, with a save, n*gga!

Oh.

Damn.

I think you got hit.

MO [CHUCKLING]: Oh, that was cool, man.

We did it.

Yargh!

Hey!

You did great, man. You did a good job.

You're doin' good, man.

Now, you knows you still owe me them two bucks, right?

Can you believe that?

You know what two bucks
could have bought in ?

Wait.
What was the question?

You asked if we wanted to hear
a really long story,

and we said no.

Granddad,
you don't seem very sad

about losing your friend.

When you get older,

you're gonna realize
that your friends,

well, they aren't always
as loyal as you want them to be.

Cairo's always
been pretty loyal.

Yeah, well, things change.

Mo did something terrible
to me.

Something I couldn't forgive.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Whoo! There's my dumb-ass.

[OVER RADIO] ♪ I got that thugin' luv ♪

♪ n*gga ♪

HUEY: It's good to be home.

HUEY:
Yo, Cairo.

What's up, man?

I've been hittin' you up.

Yeah, you know, been busy.

So, what's up?

"What's up?" Heh.

Struggle is up, brother.

Oppression is up, brother.

Salami, eggs and bacon.

My name is Dewey Obababa Ooooo
Mamasay Mamasaw Mamakusa...

Jenkins.

n*gga, what?

Ohhh!

This must be the famous
revolutionary Huey Freeman.

Isn't this the brother
who used to be your homeboy,

but then he ran away to--
What was that? --Whitecrest?

Uh, Woodcrest.

Whitecrest?
Nah, nah, I didn't run--

Yeah, whatever.

So, brother,
where your poems at?

Huh?

How you gonna call yourself
a revolutionary,

and you ain't got no poems?

If you were really down
with the struggle,

you'd have your sandals
and capris on, brother.

Where your head wrap?
Where your sandals?

Where your capri pants?
What's goin' on?

MAN:
First of all, Mr. Freeman,

I'd like to say I'm sorry
about the loss of your friend.

Oh, the hell with his punk-ass.
What did he leave me?

Mo left a message for you.

Robert, what's up, man? Now, listen. I miss you, man.

And I've got something that I want you to have

that I'm leavin' for you.

Something to just, you know,

apologize for all of the bad blood.

Now, I can't tell you what it is

'cause it's a secret,

but I want you to do me a favor.

I want you to deliver my eulogy.

What?

Now-- Now, Robert, listen.

Has this n*gga lost his mind?

Sit down.

Now, come on, Robert, now--

You know I always wanted to have a nice funeral

with b*tches cryin', throwin' money and sh*t

all in my casket.

And you remember that

when that one guy d*ed in the squad,

and you went up there and got up on the thing,

and said some ol' deep sh*t? Made it--

I forget what it was that you had said,

but I want you for my funeral.

We've been trying to reach you
for some time, Mr. Freeman.

I know.
I didn't wanna talk to him.

Robert, you need to go on
and let it go.

Come on, man, dyin' wish.

How you gonna turn a n*gga's dying wish down?

Now, look, you's-- Boy, you's a hard m*therf*cker.

You're a cold piece of work, n*gga. You something else.

Just a few nice words?

[CHUCKLES]

[♪♪♪♪♪]

[COOL HIP-HOP PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]

HUEY: Mo loved the club.

So...it was no surprise

when he requested his service be held

on a party boat.

WOMAN:
Robert?

Ooh, I can't believe it's you.

It's Maybeline.

I ain't seen you
in years.

Ooh, my goodness!

Oh.

Oh! You don't remember me.

Oh, I see.
Oh, I ain't good enough for you

now you done moved
out the neighborhood, huh?

Why, I bet you
if I was a white bitch,

you'd remember me!

But I forgives you.
Oh, but look at you, Robert.

Ooh, you looks good,
all wrinkled up and soft.

Oh, if I didn't have
this bad hip,

I'd drop it like it's hot.
Whoo!

Ooh, boy. Ooh.
I'd take off these teeth,

and I'd do some things that--
Ooh, yeah!

[SLURPING]

[GRANDDAD SCREAMING]

MAYBELINE:
Oh, I wanna scream.

Scream-- Wah!

[PEOPLE CHATTERING SOFTLY]

Hey.
Hey.

Is everything all right,
man?

[SCOFFS]
Well...

if it isn't
the Hilton brothers.

[ALL LAUGHING]

CAIRO: Hilton brothers.
DEWEY: Hilton brothers.

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]

Ooh...

Cairo took it pretty hard
when you left, Huey.

You gonna have to
give that some time.

Ah, f*ck
that n*gga.

Mo had to be the best

colored fighter pilot
of the w*r.

Wasn't he, Robert?

Of the w*r?
sh**t. Ever.

I was the best colored
fighter pilot of the w*r.

Wasn't Mo the one who flew
that top-secret mission

in Germany
that saved the whole world?

I did that.
I flew that secret mission.

Speak up, Robert!
That was Mo, right?

Mm-hm. That was Mo.

But-- But-- But--
But that was me.

That was me. Me.
VET: Nah-uh.

That was Mo.
[GASPS]

Why are you always
swinging on Mo's balls--?

This is my medal.
It's got my name on it.

How did he even get this?

Speak up, Robert.

We can't hear a word
you're sayin'.

I hate Mo.
[MAN LAUGHING]

Hey. Robert, hey. I heard you're
gonna be deliverin' the eulogy.

I think that's
mighty nice of you.

I know you and Mo
had some bad blood.

Well, what's in the past
is in the past.

[LAUGHING]

Uh, yeah. I remember
how Mo would talk about

how he couldn't stand
your black ass.

Whoo, ha!

I remember it
like it was last week.

Matter of fact,
I think it was last week.

Last week?

Oh, man.

You should've heard him, Robert.
He was on a roll.

You was all kind of
b*tches and m*therf*ckers.

Oh, man. He was like
Chappelle or somethin'.

He called me a m*therf*cker?
He said that last week?

Sure did. I think it was
Tuesday, about : p.m.

Well, ain't this a bitch.

And what surprised me

was how you bein'
all kind of m*therf*ckers

really didn't have nothin' to do
with the damn conversation.

What was we talkin' about?

Soybeans. Whoo!
You a bigger man than me.

I don't think I could talk nice
about somebody

say that type of stuff
about me or my mama.

Hm. I am not the one.

I can't believe
I let Mo talk me into this.

Well, you already here.

He said he left you
something nice.

You might as well go on
and get it over with.

[GROWLING]

Do you know
what you gonna say?

No.

Well, don't worry.
Just read this.

Mo wrote it. He thought
you might have some trouble.

GRANDDAD:
"Everything I have...

in life, I owe to Mo Jackson."

"I'm not gay,
but Mo was a very sexy man"?

"We used to call him
'Mo b*tches'"?

"I once saw Mo in his underwear,

and it changed my life"?

"I wish I had a father
like Mo Jackson."

"Mo Jackson paid my rent
over times"?

Okay, this is bullshit.

[ALL GASP]

GRANDDAD:
Mo Jackson was a assh*le.

[ALL GASP]
[WHISPERS]

My God.

Mo Jackson was
a petty, immature, selfish man.

Oh, he was good at one thing.

That's bringin' the worst
out of everybody he met.

[GRANDDAD SIGHS]

I came up here

because I thought
Mo wanted to make things right,

but it was just one more chance
for him to make a fool outta me.

Yeah! And that n*gga
owe me $.

MAN:
He owe me money too.

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

DEWEY:
Brothers and sisters, please.

I think it's time for a poem.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Doom comes like a vacuum

Because death sucks and smells

Like a raccoon or a baboon

[♪♪♪♪♪]

I'll never forget it.

I was on my way to see the gal
I was courtin' at the time.

I can't remember her name.
Oh, but I loved her.

She was the prettiest thing.

♪ I've been driftin' around Uptown ♪

[WOMAN GIGGLING]

Do the little something strange
for a piece of change.

[WOMAN CONTINUES GIGGLING]

MO:
sh*t.

g*dd*mn. Ooh.

I love to hit this again.
Oh, sh*t.

[WOMAN CONTINUES GIGGLING]

I just couldn't forgive him.

Robert,

that girl
wasn't your girlfriend.

You asked her for her phone
number once and never called.

I was gonna call.

What's-her-name
could've been the one.

And Mo took that from me.

Robert, you wanna see
what Mo took from you?

It's Maybeline, nyukka!

[SCREAMING]

Death kills us Like cr*ck k*lled Pookie

Like Schwarzenegger k*lled Tookie

Chewbacca was a Wookiee

Revolution

RILEY:
Boooo!

Hey, Erykah Ba-Dewey.

That was real gay,
my n*gga.

Cut that out.

Shut up, Riley.

What's wrong with you, Cairo?
That n*gga's corny.

Corny?
n*gga, you're corny.

At least he's here.

Why don't you go follow
your punk-ass granddad

back to Whitesville,
fake n*gga?

[PEOPLE GASP]

Hmm.

Eh...

Don't run, n*gga. I see you.

[GROWLS]

[YELLS]
WOMAN: Oh, my God.

BOY:
Get off--

Oh, my God.

I don't remember her
lookin' like that.

Y'all had pretty bad taste
back then.

Robert, everybody
knew Mo was an assh*le,

but he wasn't the one
who threw your friendship away.

You did, dumb-ass.

What have I done?

I threw away all that time...
for nothing.

Boys, stop that.
Get off me.

Man, why'd you even come back?
Ain't nobody miss you.

DEWEY:
Let me go.

[CROWD GASPS]

[CRASH]

[BOYS GRUNTING]

MAN:
What's Robert doin' now?

MAN :
I got to hear this.

[SIGHS]

Here's the thing.

Relationships are like people,
I guess.

They begin,
they have adventures,

they grow old, and they die.

Me and Mo both made it
to old age,

but we let our friendship die
way too young.

And that was really stupid
of us.

Mo thought I was good
at saying deep things,

but I'm not.

Huey, say something deep.

Huh?

I ain't got all day, boy.
Be deep.

[SIGHS]

Your pain Is the breakin' of the shell

That encloses Your understanding

It is the bitter potion

By which The physician within you

Heals your sick self

Therefore, trust the physician

And drink his remedy In silence and tranquility

Kahlil Gibran.

Didn't rhyme.

Thanks for bein'
the bigger man, Mo.

MO [OVER TV]: Oh, Robert.

I knew you could do it, man.

I bet it was so beautiful, you probably had n*gg*s cryin'

and b*tches in clean Cadillacs

all outside the church and sh*t.

Well, I got somethin' here to give you

that's very near and dear to me, player pimp.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Deez nuts, n*gga!

[LAUGHING]

Got you, n*gga!

[LAUGHING]

From beyond the grave.

You will never be able to get me back, n*gga.

[LAUGHING]

[♪♪♪♪♪]

[BUZZES]

I'm sorry.

[GROWLING]

HUEY:
Ow!

[♪♪♪♪♪]

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

HUEY: Being the bigger man

is overrated.

You got knocked the f--

Never mind.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

You came back!

Did you miss me?

Maybe.

[LAUGHING]

I bet you did.

Because I don't head-butt
you in the face

like your other
so-called friends.

[LAUGHING]

Wait, come back.
Let me look at it.

[LAUGHING]

[♪♪♪♪♪]

[PLANES ZOOMING]

[g*nf*re]

[♪♪♪♪♪]