02x09 - Invasion of the Katrinians

[bunniefuu]

HUEY: On August , ,
Hurricane Katrina

struck the Gulf Coast
of the United States.

[?]

[SOBBING]

Several hours later,

residents of New Orleans'
Lower Ninth Ward

reported hearing
a loud expl*si*n.

[expl*si*n]

Then the flood came.

[SEAGULL CALLING]

In the days and weeks
that followed,

the nation watched
and wondered:

How could it have
all gone so wrong?

[?]

GRANDDAD:
? Good food, good food Good food ?

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Boy, see who that is.

Jericho Freeman.

Oh, lookie here,
this is Cousin Jericho.

Man, I haven't talked
to Cousin Jericho

in a long time.
[RINGING CONTINUES]

Aren't you gonna answer it?
Y'all don't know

that part of the family.
They live down in Louisiana.

He was in New Orleans
when that flood hit.

[BEEPS OFF] I'm telling you,

it was a crime how they
treated those folks down there.

Took their land.

I heard they didn't even
pay people's insurance.

[RINGING, PHONE
CLATTERS TO FLOOR]

And don't nobody
even talk about it anymore.

You see how short
people's memories are?

Man, I wish there was
something I could do for 'em.

[DOORBELL DINGS]
Boy, get the door.

Not just give 'em money,
but actually do something.

RILEY: It's Jericho Freeman.
Tell him we're not here!

If there were just

anything at all that I could do,
anything to help.

I'm a good man.

? I am the stone
That the builder refused ?

? I am the visual
The inspiration ?

? That made lady
Sing the blues ?

? I'm the spark
That makes your idea bright ?

? The same spark
That lights the dark ?

? So that you can know
Left from right ?

? I am the ballot in your box
The b*llet in the g*n ?

? The inner glow
That lets you know ?

? To call your brother sun ?

? The story that just begun ?

? The promise
Of what's to come ?

? And I'm 'a remain a soldier ?

? Till the w*r is won
Won ?

? Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ?

? Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ?

? Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ?

? Chop, chop, chop ?

Hey, Robert. Guess who?

Hey, uh, Jericho, is it?

I don't want no handshake.

You get here and give
Cousin Jericho a hug.

How are you, cous-boy?
How long it been?

It been, what,
four, five years?

More like years.
Could be .

Well, sh**t.
What the difference, huh?

We family, right,
cousin? Ha, ha.

We family. We're cousins.

If you say so, second cousin.

Yeah, me and the g*ng

we just passing through
ya'll neck of the woods

and thought it would
just be too rude of us

if we didn't stop by.

We've been
pretty much moving around

from place to place
since, uh, you know.

You don't say.
Well, great catching up.

Thanks for stopping by.
Cheers.

Look, Robert, don't let
the chrome rims fool you, okay?

The- The old Jericho Freeman
clan, we ain't doing so great.

You know, we almost
didn't make it up here.

A lot of folks
didn't make it out at all.

Mm-hm.

Yes, we- We blessed
to escape the deadly waters

of Hurricane Katrina
with our lives.

And, uh,
virtually nothing else.

[SOBBING]
GRANDMOTHER: Praise Jesus.

[?]

You know, the important thing
is everyone is okay.

Yeah, we lost everything.

Everything!

Yeah, material things
can be replaced.

We don't have no place to go.

Mm-hm. Nothing like the
open road. Seeing the country.

Trees and lakes and things.

And maybe a deer.

You know, it's, uh-
It's hardest on the kids.

Yeah, well, you know,
kids are strong.

You know, kids fight
wars in some countries.

Nowhere for 'em to call home.

Well, home is where
the heart is.

Yep. Yes, sir.

Phew.

Yeah, well, you know,

my diabetes
been acting up again.

All right! All right! You can
stay!

What? Oh, Robert,
would you do that for us?

Well, what a surprise.

[WHISTLES]

Come on, y'all,
he said it's cool.

WOMAN:
Come on, y'all.

Oh, this is a pretty house.

Much better than the last place.
Praise Jesus.

Robert, you remember
the family, don't you?

This is my mama, Jericha,
and my wife, Leona Ray.

Uh, our daughter Rolanda
and her four kids,

named Bobby, Robby and Ricky.

Well, Whitley, Mitley and Missy.

And my son Nique,
his pregnant girlfriend,

Diana Ross DuValle.

Mm. Hope you got
air conditioning.

Ooh, this place is filthy. Don't
nobody clean up this house?

I hope you don't have bugs,
because I can't stand bugs.

[GROANS]
Locusts and stuff.

sh**t, I could have
stayed in Louisiana for this.

[?]

[KIDS SHOUTING]
Nana. Nana.

KID:
I'm going to get you.

Oh, man. Y'all up here doing
it real big and sh*t, huh.

Yeah, I see y'all n*gg*s,
y'all living, huh.

Yeah, y'all got some
real nice stuff up in here.

Wait. Oh, what's that,
the PSP right there? Man.

You got more sh*t
than a n*gga need in here.

Damn. I bet these vases

cost y'all
an arm and a leg, huh?

Yeah, I see y'all.
Y'all like me, though:

I like having things too,
you hear me?

I got to have it, you dig?

I'm a do-what-it-takes
kind of n*gga, man.

I get it how I live, and
live how I get it, you feel me?

That's what real n*gg*s do.

[GIRL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Granddad, I can't believe
you let them n*gg*s stay here.

That's messed up, Riley.
That's family.

Family? I ain't never seen
them n*gg*s before in my life.

Far as I'm concerned,
them n*gg*s is the homeless.

They were left to drown.
Yeah, that's real messed up.

Poor them. Why don't they
take their homeless asses home?

HUEY:
They have nothing to go home to.

RILEY:
We let them n*gg*s stay here,

we won't have
nothing to go home to.

Everybody knows
New Orleans n*gg*s are grimy.

Yep. Thanks, wardy.
That's my hat.

Both of you shut up.
They'll stay.

Good for you, Granddad.

We can't even imagine
what they've lost.

Please. I've seen that raggedy
piece-of-sh*t house.

That n*gga ain't
lost that damn much.

Bob, I'm in Woodcrest,

the very small community
with a very big heart.

Robert Freeman,
a local resident here,

has decided to open his home

to Katrinian refugees.

Why is the news here?
I called the news

and told them
what you did for us.

What the hell you do that for?
Don't be modest. It's okay.

It's not okay. Now every damn
Katrina victim for miles

gonna be coming here. Hello.

Mr. Freeman,
what makes a man

open his home
to complete strangers?

Oh, no. These are not complete
strangers. This is family.

Ah, yes, the human family.
Oh, no, no, no.

This is my actual family.
This is my second cousin.

Because we're all cousins
and brothers and sisters

in the eyes of God?
Well, not exactly. See...

What do you hope to get
out of helping these people?

Not a damn thing.

Wow. So selfless. Bob.

[DOORBELL DINGING,
KIDS LAUGHING]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

KID:
Mama, Cousin Granddad kicked me.

We hear you was
helping people from New Orleans.

We used to live right...

I had
a girlfriend in Katrina.

And I'm hungry-
No.

g*dd*mn it, Jericho.

I told you this
was going to happen.

Heh-heh.
Price of fame.

I ask you to bless him, Lord,

and keep providing for him,
Lord,

so that he may
keep providing for us, Lord.

Jesus, amen.
As we walk in your glory.

Get off of me, woman.

[?]

Whoo-ee.
Boy, I hope you got some spray.

It smell like the circus
in town up in there.

You- You gonna
need a gas mask

and galoshes to go in there.

A HAZMAT suit.

Maybe something crawled
up my ass and d*ed, man.

Damn. These n*gg*s don't do
nothing but watch TV and eat.

Man, stop complaining. They're
not gonna be here forever.

Y'all might as well stop
making that Kool-Aid right now,

'cause I don't
even drink grape.

I only drink cherry
and strawberry.

When y'all going
to the store too?

I don't eat that sh*t
y'all got.

Y'all ain't got no butterbeans,
no scrimps, no hogballs.

Y'all ain't got sh*t.

Hey, ho-
Hold it there, little Missy.

That's Granddad's
fresh-squeezed orange juice.

You do not want that.

Now, this here
is the orange-flavored drink

for the guests.
Mm-mm-mm.

Orange-Aid. With vitamin C.

It's okay.
When we were trapped,

we didn't have anything
to drink at all.

So I don't mind drinking
the cheap stuff.

I'm just glad
I have a place to sleep.

Do I still have to eat
the cheap lunchmeat?

Yes.

[KIDS SHOUTING]

You know, what hurt us was
losing all that mattress money.

There was four or five
accounts in there.

My retirement, the (k),

and the money for the record
label I started in the basement.

You were in construction, right?

They're doing a lot of building
in New Orleans now.

I seen it on television.
That's what I thought.

I heard Halliburton was hiring

right after the flood,
so I showed up.

MAN: Name.
[SPEAKING SPANISH POORLY]

Are you serious?

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Next.

[CRASHING] My lamp.

JERICHA: The Lord will provide another lamp.
Praise Jesus.

Don't worry about it.
Tally up a bill for it.

Uh, let me see here.
Uh, thumbera.

This is a quick estimate, um,

factoring in
the food, utilities...

Didn't have time
to put the lamp in.

And all the toilet paper
your mama using.

This is great.
This is exactly what I need.

'Cause I'm gonna make sure
I pay you back every penny.

With interest.
Well, thank you, Jericho.

Just as soon
as my FEMA check arrives.

[GLASS SMASHING, KID CRYING]

NIQUE:
Ha, ha. Oh, sh*t, n*gga.

Y'all got
the -inch-screen TV too.

That digital cable right there?

Damn, cousin Rob
got the system too.

Ooh, I bet this bitch
got some knock, huh?

Damn, n*gga.
[TV GETS LOUDER]

Yeah, this bitch
got some bass, boy.

Y'all got the new Xbox too.
Oh, sh*t.

Hey, what you doing?

Oh! Let me serve this,
n*gga, you hear me?

You don't even want-
Huey don't want none.

Boy, I'm telling y'all.
Boy, y'all lucky we kin.

If I was a different
type of n*gga,

I'd tidy up out here
with everything.

Clean up out this bitch

with nobody knowing nothing.

What happened to your insurance?
Oh, I had insurance.

I had rain insurance,
I had flood insurance.

The damn insurance company said
I didn't have no wind insurance.

So I couldn't get no money.

Can you believe that?
Wind insurance?

Ain't that the biggest
ripoff you ever heard?

So I- I said to the guy,
"What kind of sh*t is this?"

He said-
[VIOLIN SCREECHING]

Hey there, darkies.

I heard there was
some Katrinians in town.

So I brought out my old violin
that only plays sad songs.

Boo-hoo-hoo, n*gga.

It ain't the white man's fault
you dumb n*gg*s

don't know that there's
wind in a hurricane.

Who is this?
Long story.

Oh, but Mr. Charlie stayed
one step ahead, don't he?

I can see 'em now:

"Guess what?
I just saved a bunch of money

"on my insurance 'cause
these dumb n*gg*s didn't know

there was wind in a hurricane. "

Oh, what? What, you got
some more sad songs, huh?

That what you got for me?

Are you mad 'cause your Katrina
welfare check ain't showed up?

Hell, y'all n*gg*s wasn't making
but $ an hour before Katrina.

Now each of y'all
want , , huh.

Ain't that some bullshit?
You. Come here.

[GRUNTING, YELLING]

RUCKUS:
Somebody call the police.

In the news today,
violent crime is on the rise,

only a few days
into the arrival

of Katrinian refugees
to Woodcrest.

Police responded to an as*ault
call on Timid Deer Lane.

Authorities don't yet know

if the v*olence
was drug-related.

Y'all keep asking for help.
I'll help.

I'll go down there and help
blow up some more levees.

You better shut your mouth

before I b*at
your monkey ass up again.

A-ha!
The proof is in the pudding.

Officer, did you hear that?
Did you hear him confess?

I wanna press full charges.

Look, Jericho,
you're Robert's family,

and we all know you guys
have had it rough,

so we're gonna
let it slide this time.

Oh, I- I get it. Okay, well,
I don't have no cash on me now,

but when I get my FEMA check,
you know,

I'll break you off
a few stacks, playa. Heh-heh.

No, you don't have to bribe me.
Ha. I'm just looking out.

No, no, no, no, no.
I know how it go down.

You know,
maybe we can work out something

where I look out for you,

you keep looking out for me,
we look out for each other.

No! Stop trying to bribe me.
I'm not for sale.

Hey, everything's for sale.
Stop!

GRANDDAD:
Man, I've just about had it.

I'm sorry the levees broke,

but if they don't get
their asses out,

I'm 'a be broke.
Great news, everybody.

Just got off the phone
with FEMA

and we've got
our final approval,

and the check is on the way.

[CHEERING]
Oh, praise the Lord.

And the best part is,

it's only gonna
take three months.

JERICHA: Oh, Jesus.
Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.

NIQUE:
Boy, that Flavor Flav crazy.

He did doo-doo
right on the floor.

[KATRINIANS
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[ALL LAUGHING]

That's hilarious.

I'm telling you right now:
they got to go.

Man, I don't know if I can
take another three months.

See, I told you, but, no, n*gg*s
think they know everything.

What are we gonna do, Riley?
Kick them out?

RILEY:
What's wrong with the street?

[BEEPS OFF]

LEONA RAY: What happened?
What-? Robert.

What's wrong the TV?
Something wrong with the cable.

If we all have to be here
for the next three months,

we have to make some cutbacks.
Oh, this n*gga tripping.

Well, if it's
too much to handle,

you can always leave.

What? We's Ninth Ward Negroes.
Survivors.

We used to going without.
Mm-hm.

GRANDDAD:
Oops. There go the lights.

HUEY: And so the gauntlet
was thrown in the battle

of the selfish
versus the lazy.

JERICHA:
Somebody pay the light bill.

NIQUE: Damn.
JERICHA: I can't take this heat.

NIQUE:
Hotter than the devil pissin'.

JERICHA:
I'm just too old for this.

[?]

GRANDDAD:
? Sandwich, sandwich?

? Sandwich?

It's good.

Now, this don't make no sense.

Ah.

[BURPS]

[A.C. BLOWING]
[GRANDDAD LAUGHS]

Man, this is so wrong.

Hey, let's roll by the house
and see if they left yet.

[LAUGHS]

Huh?

[?]

[GROANS]

GRANDDAD: How is the TV back on?
And the lights?

What's going on here? Hey.

And the best part is,
this don't cost you a dime.

Tom. You didn't.
[LAUGHING] I sure did.

When your cousin told everyone
in the neighborhood

how broke you were,

well, I decided
it was time to do my part.

I want your family
here in Woodcrest

for as long
as they want to stay.

Ha-ha-ha.
Yeah.

[KIDS SHOUTING]
[SNORING]

Hurricane.

So we gotta evacuate.

It'll be here any second. Hurry.

Get in your car and drive far,
far away. Quick.

Let's get out of here quick.
Y'all go first.

Get the baby, come on.

[ALL YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

JERICHO:
This is not a drill.

Dag, that was easy.

JERICHO:
Hey. Hey, Robert.

When you come up, use the
special escape route I created.

What special escape route?

[?]

You can come down, little baby.
Ain't no hurricane.

You don't want us here, do you?

It's okay. I don't really want
to be here. I wanna go home.

But Daddy says white people
are building hotels there now.

So we have to stay here.
Why here? Why me?

Because Daddy says

you're really, really,
really, really rich.

Okay, it's just that-
I'm not rich. At all.

I live on a fixed income.

I can't afford
to support everybody.

Come, now, Robert. I told you
I'm gonna take care of you

when the FEMA check comes.

JERICHA: Praise Jesus.
What if the check doesn't come?

You need to think about
getting a full-time job.

Full-time job?

Trying to get this check from
FEMA is a full-time job.

A full-time job
is a full-time job.

Waiting on FEMA
is what got you into this mess

in the first place.

Oh, so we just
lazy refugees, huh?

You know what?
You boojie.

You don't remember struggle.

Tomorrow, either you
get a job or get out.

Him too.
Oh, man.

The women and kids can stay,

but you two lazy
n*gg*s got to go.

The only grown-ass man
in this house not working

is gonna be me.

[?]

What's that?

Just something to help
get you going.

I don't need your charity.

I'll pay you back when
my FEMA check arrives.

Yeah, whatever. b*at it.
That's right, Bob.

It seems as though

this Good Samaritan's
patience has run out.

WZIB News got an anonymous tip
that Robert Freeman,

who had agreed
to take the family in

until their FEMA
relief check arrived,

is now kicking them out early.
Brutal.

What are y'all doing here?

Why are you throwing children
out into the street?

Get the hell outta here.
Get that camera out my face.

REPORTER: Is it true that
you hate poor black people?

Is it true? Did Bill Cosby
put you up to this, Mr. Freeman?

I swear to you, Robert,
I didn't call them.

I would never
do something like that.

But I am so touched
you decided to let us stay.

JERICHA:
In Jesus' name we praise Jesus.

And don't you worry,
when this FEMA check comes in,

I'm gonna remember this.

You know, I might just build
an addition to your house.

All on old Cousin Jericho.
How about that, huh?

I mean, maybe an indoor pool.

Bowling alley,
with Jacuzzis and silk sheets.

How about that, huh?

Conservatory
and a small kitchenette...

HUEY:
Granddad had lost this battle,

but he had far from surrendered

the next three months
of his life.

-big-screen TV
sitting on top of a TV.

Robert,
all the phones are dead.

Yeah. Can't afford it.

[CHUCKLES]

What if FEMA
calls about the check?

Tough titty.

Uh, excuse me,
I have to make a call.

You taking it too far now.
Quit playing.

Hey! Hey,
brother man, get off my phone.

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

I've had it. I'm about to give
you a Category ass whupping.

It's just been upgraded
from a Category .

Get off me.
I want it. I want it.

Oh, sh*t. You keep talking,
I'm gonna give you a Category .

Out.
Robert, wait. Robert.

What would your momma say if she
knew you was kicking out family?

She'd say, "Get them
broke-ass n*gg*s the f*ck out. "

[KNOCKING]

Um, Jericho Freeman?

Yes?

[CHUCKLES]

This is it. They said
it was gonna take three months,

but it took shorter time.

That's what I'm talking about.

JERICHA:
Jesus, Lord and savior.

NIQUE: Believe that.
Who makes all checks possible.

That right.
Thank you, Jesus.

Good times, baby.

"Having reviewed your records,
we have determined

"that you have not submitted.

Proof of Non-Residence
Form - - ."

LEONA RAY:
What kind of mess is this?

JERICHO: "Your check
could not be processed.

"Fill out the enclosed form
and your check

"should be mailed out

in the next six months. "

What mess is this? Y'all filled
out wrong forms, or what?

Why do you hate us, Father?
What have we done to you, Jesus?

I just don't know
where we gonna go now.

Why don't you go
back to New Orleans?

You been there your whole life.

Don't let 'em
take your home away.

Not without a fight.

Mm-hm. You-
You know, Huey, you right.

What we really want to do is go
home. Ain't that right, g*ng?

ALL: Yeah.
The Lord is going to provide.

Then let's go. Come on,
everybody, get your stuff.

[CHEERING]

So you really bought
that "go home" sh*t?

sh*t, we just got a check
for G's. n*gga, let's roll.

Jericho, look, I'm sorry.

Now, you ain't got
to start all that apologizing.

We was both raised better.

I'm still gonna break you
a piece of that FEMA check

when it show up.
If you still want it.

Uh, don't worry.
Are you sure, Robert?

The money gonna
be here in no time.

I mean, it be in my pocket
sooner than you think.

Aw, that's okay.
Whoa, now, Robert,

gonna be a whole
lot of money.

Uh, you know,
you need it more than me.

Heh-heh! I get it, I get it.

If you don't want none,
I understand completely.

I wouldn't want to give you
something you don't want.

That right, nobody need

to give you something
you don't need.

If you don't want it,
I won't force you.

You just such
a philanthropologist.

You're such a good giver.

You like a saint.
You like Saint Robert.

There should be a little school.

Dressed up-
Ask people to wear a uniform

and they come there
and they pray to you every day...

All right.
Yeah, yeah. Thank you.

LEONA RAY:
It wasn't much, but thank you.

I'll pray for you.

GRANDDAD: Thank you.
Just do it very, very far away.

KID:
We're going to New Orleans.

That's it, go back.
Sayonara, you sorry n*gg*s.

White man brought in
the whole Gulf of Mexico

to wash y'all n*gg*s away,
but go on back.

You n*gg*s ain't too good
at taking a hint, are you?

Go on, save New Orleans.

What they got down there
worth saving? What, jazz?

Jazz music?
I hate jazz music.

Sounds like a long car accident
involving some cats.

Hey, y'all seen that movie
When the Levees Broke?

I got a documentary called.

When the Levees
Gonna Break Again?

[LAUGHS]

I'm gonna get me a dog.
Name him Levee.

I'm gonna kick him
every time it rain.

[LAUGHS]

[?]