04x03 - Smells Like Team Spirit

[bunniefuu]

[loud snoring]

Sure I'll join your squad,
Taylor Swift.

COLOSSO:
[snoring]

- [cymbals clanging]
- COLOSSO & MAX: [gasping]

COLOSSO:
Oh. Geez. Oh.

Ah, shake it off, Max.
It's just Phoebe.

Congratulations.

You actually found a sound more
annoying than your voice.

It's patrol time,
teammate.

We're trying to join

to most elite superhero
group in the world,

and the Z Force does
not sleep in.

- It's : a.m.!
- I know.

We're a half an hour late.

Did you even notice
the schedule I made you?

Your schedule is insane.

You only gave me one
bathroom break a day.

Exactly.

Here's your diaper.
See you upstairs.

Right behind you,
partner.

Colosso, you know
what to do.

Help you with your diaper?

No.

Hit "snooze."

Oh.

[button beeps]

[metal clanking]

Good night.

Good night, sweet prince.

Stop being creepy.

I'm sorry, Phoebe,
the lair got locked down

and I was forced to go back
to sleep for three hours.

That was yesterday!

Huh. No wonder
I feel so refreshed.

Time for breakfast.

Max, the schedule clearly
states we're brunch people now.

Two meals in one.

Efficiency equals Z Force.

I wanna get into Z Force, too,
but the answer is not brunch

and diapers... although these
are surprisingly comfy.

Okay, well, what are you doing
to help our team, huh?

I bet you didn't even buy

the training equipment
we saved up for.

See, that's where
you're wrong.

You bought them?

No, just felt good
to say you're wrong.

Come on, the Z Force is
tracking our performance.

And training on flour
sack punching bags

doesn't exactly look good.

[groans] I have flour
in bad places.

That didn't happen
during training.

I don't know why he's
covered in flour.

Relax, Phoebe.

I didn't get that training
equipment because I got

something else that's guaranteed
to get us into Z Force...

Our very own team
headquarters.

You spent all of our training
equipment money on a treehouse?

[laughing] Phoebe,
treehouses are for kids.

It's a tree fort.

Max, we don't
need this thing.

Our house is already
like a giant headquarters

with free WiFi.

But this place has aerial
surveillance views,

and is private, and...

Wait, mom and dad don't
charge you for WiFi?

Okay, Max, you can't
just use our money

to buy a headquarters
without asking me.

Well, you can't schedule
every second of my life.

I need sleep.

All this doesn't
just happen, you know?

Uh-oh. I just
realized something.

Oh, the smell?

Yeah, I think there's a dead
squirrel in here somewhere.

No.

We make a terrible team.

That is not true.

If it were, why would I give
you my last yogurt stick?

Oh, thanks.

Ugh!

What flavor is this?

Expired.

You're right, we do make
a terrible team.

♪

♪ What you see ♪

♪ Is not what you get ♪

♪ Livin' our lives
with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in ♪

♪ Bet you never guessed ♪

♪ 'Cause we're
livin' our lives ♪

♪ Just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture
perfect family ♪

♪ Is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer,
you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't
make believe ♪

♪ It's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal
and stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Livin' a double life ♪♪

♪

So today revealed our team has
a few wrinkles to iron out.

A few?

Our team has more wrinkles than
an old lady in a tanning salon.

Worst summer job ever.

But joining the Z Force has
always been a dream of mine,

and if being your teammate
is the only way to

make that happen, then I'll
do anything to make it work.

Me, too.

Unless it means doing things
for you, with you, or near you.

Pretty sure
it's a bad attitude

that got you fired
from the Tanny Granny.

Oh, we are officially
hopeless.

HANK:
Have no fear...

Thunder Man is here!

And where there's thunder,
there's Electress!

[electrical zapping]

Why are you guys
in your supersuits?

We're suited up because
we're about to save you two

from blowing your chance
at the Z Force.

And it's laundry day.

Now, as life mates
and superhero partners,

we know a lot about building
a successful team.

In fact, we put out
a self-help book in the 's

called "Smells Like
Team Spirit."

How come we've
never seen it?

PHOEBE & MAX:
[laughing]

That's why.

So what do you say?

Let us help you two become
the team we know you can be.

I mean, hey, if it'll
help our chances

of getting in the Z Force,
it's worth a sh*t.

I agree.

I'm just not gonna
read any books.

Oh, good thing it comes
with an instructional video.

Please tell me there's
room in your schedule

to make fun of Mom and Dad?

You're gonna have to skip
brushing your teeth,

but we can make it work.

HANK:
[laughing]

COLOSSO:
Ugh!

You expect me to
eat this slop?!

I don't cook it.
I just dump it.

Ugh!

You know, back when
Max was evil,

he used to steal me
fresh vegetables

from all the neighbors'
gardens.

Well, Max is good now,

and no one's stealing
vegetables for you,

so just eat your
canned succotash.

You know what?

You all succotash!

Hey, you guys.

Will you tell me if
I'm gonna hit the table?

[heavy thud]

You hit the table.

Billy, why aren't you using
your new backpack?

A nice kid at school
borrowed it...

Along with my lunch money
and math homework.

That's not good.

Yeah, especially
for the poor kid

who stole your math homework.
[laughing]

No, I meant it's not good
that you're so gullible.

What's gullible?

There's a raccoon
in your shorts.

[gasps]
Aah, get it out!

That's gullible.

It means you're
easily tricked.

I am not.

The raccoon's back.

Aah!
[zooming]

Oh, so it's funny
when you do it.

Well, well, well.

Sounds like Gulli-Billy might
be my ticket to veggie town.

Ach! Ach! This food
is all succ and no tash.

Ugh!

Now, you've watched
the teambuilding video

critics called
"a super-powered joyride."

That quote's from you.

The point is you're now ready
for teambuilding exercises!

Any time you're a bad
teammate, Nora will zap you.

- [lasers zapping]
- PHOEBE & MAX: Ow!

I could tell you weren't
thinking about the team.

Now, your first exercise will
really put the art in partner.

BARB & HANK:
[laughing]

This puts the stupid
in stupid.

Now, you'll each
take turns painting.

Soon you'll have
a beautiful piece of art

representing your team.

Okay.
Guess I'll go first.

Uh, Phoebe?
Allow me.

You have the art skills
of a howler monkey.

[powers whooshing]

Wow. Hey, you are
remarkably good at that.

But it's my turn.

Hold on.
I'm on a roll.

No, come on, Max.
It's my turn.

And... done.

Ha ha!

Now this says team.

You painted your face.

Yeah, well, can't spell
"team" without "me."

- [lasers zapping]
- MAX: Ow!

This is better
than the free WiFi.

When it comes to teams, the
word "mine" should be avoided,

which is why we've turned our
driveway into a minefield!

Nice wordplay, Dad.

Also, won't we blow up?

No. These are
smoke mines.

And they're perfectly safe.

We'll give you
a two-second peek

at the map of where
the mines are located.

Then you'll work together
to avoid them.

Got it?

Good luck, team.

Okay. I've got
a photographic memory.

Follow my lead.

Okay, okay, Phoebe,
I can help.

Okay, uh, I'm not gonna
listen to the guy

who forgot his twin
sister's birthday.

I did not forget it.

I just chose to ignore it.

Okay, and I just
choose to ignore you.

[buzzing, hissing]

Zap her, Nora.

- [lasers zapping]
- PHOEBE: Ow!

[chuckles]
Nice sh*t.

- [lasers zapping]
- MAX: Ow!

I don't like kiss-ups.

Trail of candy leading
right to Colosso.

Oh, Billy, I'm so glad
you fell for it.

I'm sorry.

It's just that
I planted vegetables

in our neighbors' gardens, but
have no way of getting them.

I hate to see
you like this.

So I'm gonna go
back upstairs.

If only I knew a person
with a kind heart

and superspeed
who could help.

Hey, I have a kind
heart and superspeed.

I can help.

Really?

You're my hero, Billy!

Wish Nora heard
you say that.

Can you believe
she thinks I'm gullible?

G... you, gullible?

Never.

Now, here are the addresses
of the gardens

where I planted
my vegetables.

Wait a minute.

That's how you spell
Hiddenville?

It's almost too easy.
[chuckling]

Welcome to the telekinesis
trust fall.

Teammates need to always
have each other's backs.

If not, you could end up
in a serious jam.

[laughing]

Get it? 'Cause the pit's
filled with jam.

Yeah, we get it.

You guys rolled.

Can we get to the training
part now, please?

In this test, these thunder
balls can swing down

and knock you off your
platform at any moment.

So be ready to use your powers
to catch each other in midair,

or you could end up
in a real... pickle.

[laughing]

Hank, pickle toss is later.

Oh.

Okay. Keep your arms
in front of you.

It'll quicken
your reaction time.

[powers whooshing]
Whoa!

I was just stretching.

Stop being a control freak.

I'm not a control freak.

Now just do exactly
as I say.

Oh, right, 'cause
you're the boss of me.

Oops, : o'clock.

I missed my potty break.

First of all, your potty
break is at :.

At least I care
about this team.

All you care
about is yourself.

I care about the team,
especially my half of it.

Oh, you mean the half
that didn't ask me

before buying
a rat-infested treehouse.

They are not rats.

They're just really
big termites.

Guys, stay focused.

Face it, Max.

You are the reason
we don't make a good team.

Oh, really, 'cause
I think it's you.

Put that in your diaper
and wear it.

MAX & PHOEBE:
Whoa!

- Oh!
- Oh.

You guys okay?

Yeah, this exercise
made me realize

I never wanna be partners
with Max again!

Yeah.
This team is done.

I'd zap them, but they
already zapped themselves.

Oh, what the heck.

- [lasers zapping]
- MAX & PHOEBE: Ow!

Phoebe, you're wearing
your supersuit.

Does this mean you
and Max made up?

I decided that the Z Force
is more important

than any silly fights,

so I figured out a way
to work with Max.

Oh, we are
so proud of you!

[powers whooshing]

I'm replacing Max with this
dummy that looks like Max.

Honey, did you hit your
head on the jam pit?

No, but with
the Z Force watching,

I need to make it look like
Max is still my partner.

So you're gonna lug
a dummy all over town?

Yeah.
Nothing's changed.

Plus, this dummy doesn't
do selfish things

like buy useless tree forts.

Actually, it's now
called an air lair.

Good-looking mannequin.

Come on, new Max.
We've got a city to save.

Still a better partner.

Max, follow her
and end this silly fight.

No way. That control freak
called me selfish.

Why are you holding
our microwave?

Take it to my air lair.

And you guys get
to buy a new one.

See? Not selfish.

I had a burrito in there.

[zooming]

That's some sweet
corn-on-the-cob.

Put it with the stash.

Dr. Colosso?

We're pals now, Billy.

Call me Uncle Dr. Colosso.

There's one thing
I'm confused about.

One thing?
[chuckles]

Go on.

Why do you plant
all these vegetables

in other people's gardens?

Billy, farmers are
like magicians.

We never reveal our secrets,

and we're always
slightly creepy.

I have so much
to learn from you.

But you're
already so smart,

which is why I need you to
harvest pounds of potatoes

I planted at
the supermarket.

Coming right up.

Thanks, Gulli-Billy.

What did you say?

Ah, I said you're
like a son to me.

Aw, you're like
a moon to me.

Please just go.

[zooming]

Billy, we've been
looking for you.

Someone's been
stealing vegetables

from the gardens in
the neighborhood.

What?

As a new member of
the farming community,

that just makes me sick.

Does the veggie bandit
look familiar?

No, but she's kinda cute.

She's kinda you.

What? That's crazy.

Now if you'll excuse me,
I need to pick up some potatoes

Colosso planted at
the supermarket.

Billy, people don't plant
stuff at supermarkets.

Dr. Colosso's duping you into
stealing vegetables for him.

Oh, no.

That cute girl is me?

That means I am gullible.

No, you're a nice person
who trusts people.

Colosso's the problem here,

which is why we are going to
teach that evil bunny a lesson.

Good idea.

I'll help... right after
I get him his potatoes.

[zooming]

I'll get him.

[whooshing]

[dog growling]

Let go of my Z Force partner,
you dumb dog!

- [dog barking]
- [gasps]

Fine, keep him!

He's as useless
as the real Max.

Phoebe, it's time to stop,
collaborate, and listen.

Wow, is it 's day
wherever parents hang out?

As if.

We broke out our team spirit
outfits to help you and Max.

You guys are too
legit to quit.

All right,
speak normal or I walk.

Fine.

Let's, uh, just make sundaes
and figure out a way

for you and Max to become all
that and a bag of chips.

I'm sorry.

[clears throat]

I mean, you guys should really
be talking to Max about this.

He's the one who's
straight-up buggin'.

[sighs]
Now I'm doing it.

There's nothing you can do to
make yourself a better partner?

No.

Oh, Dad, your hot fudge-
to-ice-cream ratio is a mess.

Hey, it's mine.

Okay, just let me fix
it, all right?

Efficiency equals
delicious...

Check yourself before you
wreck yourself, Phoebe!

[heavy thud]

[plaster splatters]

Wha...?

What was that about?

Well, honey,
you mean well,

but you can be
a tad controlling...

Like how you're taking
sprinkles off

my ice cream right now.

Okay, Mom, you can't
just mix rainbow

and chocolate sprinkles
because... oh!

Maybe I am controlling.

Ugh, I guess I should probably
go apologize to Max

for being a bad teammate.

Good idea, honey.

PHOEBE:
[sighs]

She's gone, Hank.

[chuckling]

Oh! I've got ceiling
chips in my sundae.

[crunching]
Not bad.

Phoebe's crazy.

This air lair is great.

And so is Dad's
burrito I found.

[laughs]
Can't stop winning.

Hey, Max.

Winning streak over.

What are you doing
here, Phoebe?

My guard owl was supposed to
warn me about intruders.

- [owl hooting]
- Too late, Desmond!

Max, I came to apologize
for being controlling.

I just really, really
want this team to work.

But I promise, from here
on out, no more schedules

and no more sneaking vitamins
into your pizza.

I knew I was getting
strong teeth and bones.

The point is, I'm sorry.

[inhales]

I'm sorry, too.

Sorry I have a sister
who thinks I'm selfish

and can't respect
my pizza boundaries.

Are you kidding me?
You are selfish.

Look at this trash
can on stilts.

It's an air lair!
[stomping foot]

[tree fort rumbling,
wood creaking]

- [board clattering]
- [owl hoots]

What's happening?

Don't you hear my guard owl?
We're at three hoots.

This place is falling apart!
Go, go, go!

- [tree fort rumbling, creaking]
- [ladder clatters]

That crash you just heard
was the sound of

your ladder breaking,

which means we have no way down
unless you have a parachute.

Why didn't you tell me
that when I bought this thing?

You didn't tell me
you were buying it!

[wood creaking,
boards clattering]

♪ Old Colosso had a farm ♪

♪ Thanks to Gulli-Billy ♪

Colosso,
some police officers

accused me of stealing
the vegetables

from around
the neighborhood!

Cops!

I mean, what did you tell
the nice officers?

The truth.

That you told me to take
all of these veggies.

- [police siren]
- COLOSSO: [gasps]

You rat!
You led them right to me!

Colosso, there are cops
coming down here!

Johnny Law'll never get me!

Adios, losers.

- [button beeps]
- Aah!

- [small thud]
- COLOSSO: Ooh!

[groaning]

Is this Albuquerque?

Why don't you
ask the sheriff?

[whooshing]
You're under arrest, baby.

What's with
the kindergarten cop?

We set this whole thing up to
teach you not to trick Billy.

Enjoy your dinner,
Uncle Dr. Gullible.

Oh.

Uh, uh... looks like
I succotash.

[groans]
[small thud]

[wood creaking]

- This is horrible!
- [tree fort rumbling]

Not my burrito!

Forget about your burrito.
We're next.

Phoebe, I... I'm sorry.

You were right about this
whole tree fort thing.

It was a mistake.

I shouldn't have
been so selfish.

- [boards clattering]
- [wood creaking]

Apologize later.
This thing's going down.

- [wood creaking]
- Hurry, we gotta jump!

[tree fort rumbling]

One, two...

MAX & PHOEBE:
[screaming]

[screaming continues]

Why are we still yelling?

I don't know!
Let's get down.

[powers whooshing]

We just pulled off
a telekinetic trust fall.

I know.

We actually had each
other's backs.

[sniffs]
Phoebe? You smell that?

Sure do.

It smells like team spirit.

Well, I was gonna
say it smells like

a dead squirrel burrito,

but maybe we do actually
make a good team.

Which means our Z Force
dreams are still alive.

And with a couple of nails,

our headquarters
will be good as new.

[wood creaking]

[boards clattering]

[metal clangs]

- Heh. Who needs a headquarters?
- Not us.

♪