01x01 - Hell Week, Part 1

[bunniefuu]

Happy birthday, Mom.

Make a wish.

[female voice] Jack Morton?

We discussed this, Vera.
Jack Morton isn't Order material.

Based on his academic achievements alone,
I'd argue he's one of our best candidates.

He can't even afford
Belgrave's tuition fees.

Well, some of our brightest stars
came from similar backgrounds.

I got the letter from Belgrave.

Thin.

Bad sign.

- The boy's a delinquent.
- He's student council president.

- An orphan.
- A track and field champion.

- A loner.
- Because popularity is so important.

More than you'll ever know.

[sighs]
[clears throat]

"Dear, Mr. Morton..."

The matter's closed.

I've already put him out of his misery.

[Vera] If Jack Morton isn't a student,
he can't pledge.

This university is my jurisdiction.

[Vera]
A privilege we may have to reconsider.

The Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose
has standards,

and Jack Morton doesn't measure up.

"Thank you for your application
to Belgrave University.

We regret to inform you..."

I'm sorry, Mom.

I did everything I could.

[clunk]

[speaking in Latin]

Weird.

"We are pleased to inform you that
you've been selected for the admission

to the Belgrave class of... .

Full scholarship.

Living allowance." Mom, I...

I got in!

I got in! f*cking A! Ha ha!

I'm sorry for your loss.

[doors bang shut]

[crossing bell rings]

[honk of train]
[rush of wheels]

[male voice]
Jack! Wakey wakey, hands off snakey!

Holy sh*t.

It's alive.

- Good morning, Pops.
- How long you been up?

Not long.

You know,
you don't have to move to campus.

It's an easy commute from here.

Residency is part of the deal.

Besides, I figured you could use my room
as your office.

Uh? Huh.

What the hell do I need an office for?

I don't know. Office stuff.

- The garage gets cold in the winter.
- The cold keeps me focused.

Hey, you got everything?

- Have you got everything?
- Yeah.

No.

- Keys.
- Keys.

I know they're in here somewhere.

Oh, God. Where did I leave them?

This is really weird

- Hey, Pops.
- Yeah.

Ah!

Thank you! I told you they were here.

And as for Belgrave's favorite son...

f*ck you, Edward.

My daughter is dead because of you.

EDWARD COVENTRY

TURNING MEDICAL PHILANTHROPY ON ITS HEAD

f*ck you, Dad.

We're coming for you.

[sound of church bells]

Ah. I can get you closer.

Also good.

What's the matter?
Don't want your crazy grandfather

scaring all those one percenter parasites?

Basically.

Make sense, I guess.

[Jack sighs]

[Pops] Look at it, kid.
The plan's all coming together.

Your mother would be so proud.
All your hard work's paid off.

You got into Belgrave.

- You're gonna get pledged.
- Maybe.

Think positive, champ. The Blue Rose
would be crazy not to take you.

Put yourself out there,
make yourself available.

Make people notice you.

And don't take no for an answer.

All incredibly disturbing advice.

Er, it's advice.

[Jack laughs]

Look, Pops, you know I'm gonna...

Yeah.

See you for dinner Sunday?

Of course.

Okay.

Go get 'em.

You get pledged,

- we get that m*therf*cker.
- Way to keep it on the down-low, Pops.

[laughs]

He'll be fine.

[Jack] No, no!

[male voice] The fire

represents our undying bond
of brotherhood.

The sword represents strength.

Ah!

Ow!

sh*t.

Ow. Oh, sh*t.

Blood unifies us.

It makes us one.

Now, drink from the goblet

and commit your life to

the...

To the...

Dude, come on.

To the Fraternal Brotherhood
of Sigma Sigma Delta.

Er, no.

Thanks, though.

If it's the blood, I'm totally clean.

I mean, I had hep C
after a trip to Mexico,

- but that's all cleared up now.
- It's not the blood.

It's the robes.

Isn't it?

I keep telling the National Charter
we want to ditch this crap,

but they keep telling us it's tradition.

No! No, the robes are...

are fine.
They give you a sense of dignity.

Then what the f*ck, Morton?

We've been tracking you
since you won that scholarship.

Your bona fides are sick.

- You're textbook Delta material.
- Look...

- Dale.
- Dale.

I appreciate it. I do.

It's not you.

It's me.

I'm holding out for another organization.

[whispered voice]
Hey, man, what are you doing?

Can I just get my stuff back?

Okay, house rules.
If I catch you breaking them,

- I got a report you, so...
- Don't break any rules.

Don't let me catch you, that's right.

Pants on, Clay. We're coming in.

Jack Morton, Clayton Turner.

Hey.

Have you ever wondered why you exist?

Not really.

Of course not. All you can see
is the carrot they want you to chase.

A good job, a loving wife,

the kids, the summer house,

credit cards, the debt.

They want you to be a cog
in their system.

And then, just like that...

[click]

you're dead.

There's so much to experience,
so much to taste.

Don't let someone else define you.

Don't waste this opportunity.

Don't...

touch my sh*t.

Also, nice to meet you.

Yeah, you, too.

Any questions
about changing roommates? No?

Great.

You lose your key.
It's bucks to replace it.

Here is your welcome package.
It's got your map of campus,

complete with all male, female,
and non-binary bathroom locations.

There's a bunch of coupons
for stuff you'll never buy.

There is a r*pe whistle
and a "How Not to r*pe" pamphlet.

- Any questions?
- Nope.

But if you need a hand with anything,
don't hesitate to ask.

I think I'm supposed to say that.

- Is that a...?
- [door bangs]

Hey. Weston, right?
Jack Morton, I'm your neighbor..

- What's up?
- Lucky you.

- And you're Gregory.
- Yeah. So?

That's what I was thinking.
Hey, congratulations.

Okay.

- Thank you, I guess.
- You know, the blue rose.

Were you expecting the pledge
or was it a surprise?

- I don't know what you're talking about.
- Yeah, I got it.

But if you were pledged
by a secret society,

would it be your academic record
that got you noticed?

I'd say you sound like a f*cking idiot
right now.

[thump]

- Are you a legacy?
- Dude, back the f*ck off, okay?

- Just asking a question.
- You ask too many f*cking questions!

I don't want any trouble. Okay?

Too late.

[swipe]

- [thump]
- [grunts]

[thump]
- [thud]

Whoa, hey, hey, d*ck!

You do not want to be second man in.

God, I love the smell of testosterone
in the morning.

It smells like... stupidity.

I... ah.

It's just a misunderstanding,
for which I apologize. Are we good?

f*cking good, man.

See you later.

[Weston] Jesus!

- You literally stood there. I was get...
- [Gregory] Man, I tried...

They say college is where you meet
your true friends.

Apparently, it's also where you meet
your best enemies.

[Jack] Sorry about that.

I'm Jack.

Ah, hi, Jack.

I'm just trying to give a tour, so...

- Right.
- Yeah.

Okay. Well, welcome, everyone,

and congratulations on your acceptance
to Belgrave University.

I'm Alyssa Drake
and I'll be your tour guide today.

Sitting on over acres of land,

Belgrave University is considered by many
to be a city within a city.

It's hard to believe that at one time

the university consisted
of a single building,

and this whole area was farmland,

providing the vegetables
for the school's cafeteria.

[laughs]

Look at that.
We have a question... already.

I thought they didn't have a garden
until the second World w*r.

You are correct.

It was a victory garden tended by
the agricultural students.

And before that it was a forest,
wasn't it?

Would you like to guide this tour?

Sure.

Er...
[sighs]

Ethan Belgrave,

the university's namesake and benefactor,

made his fortune as a privateer
in the continental Navy,

which makes us the only university ever
to be founded by a pirate.

Come on.

More fun stuff this way.

How did he even know that?

[Jack] This way. Catch up.

Now, behind me is Belgrave Hall,

which is both the oldest
and most haunted building on campus.

There have been eight different ghosts
spotted here.

But the one to watch out for

is the Screaming Lady.

Screaming Lady?

Yeah, the Sreaming Lady,

m*rder*d right here over  years ago.

Her ghost still wanders the Hall,

screaming, "Bloody m*rder,"
looking for her k*ller.

Now, for those of you who can read,

the library is this way.

Who is this idiot?

[Alyssa] I can take it from here.

[Alyssa] Okay.
The McGrath Reference Library

is home to the world's largest collection
of anthropodermic bibliopegy,

books bound in human flesh.

[gasps]

[animated chatter]

[student] Just a sec. Er...

- [Alyssa] And...
- [Jack] Also...

it is believed to be the home of Belgrave
University's own secret society,

the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose.

Some say that there's a temple
hidden in the basement.

Past members include presidents,
captains of industry,

and more than one celebrity.

Come on.

[Jack] And that is why
the Albrecht Chemistry Department

has most student pregnancies
per department.

[giggles]

And that brings us back
to where we started,

concluding our tour.

[applause]

[Alyssa laughs]

- Where did you learn all that?
- My grandfather used to work here,

and he's a bit of a Belgrave completist.

Yeah, that was kind of impressive.

Impressive enough
to let me buy you dinner?

[laughs]

[male voice] Man!
Will you two sleep together already?

Everyone on campus is talking.
You're like the Jim and Pam of Belgrave.

Hi. Randall Carpio. And you are?

Leaving.

By the way,

everyone knows The Order is fake news.
The library doesn't even have a basement.

Ouch! Architecture burn!

Come on. Let's grab a beer.

You're over , right?

Kidding! I don't give a sh*t.

- Thank you.
- Cheers.

[glasses chink]

Look, man,

I wouldn't take her rejection too hard.
You never stood a chance.

She would have bailed the second
she saw your Star Wars bed sheets.

I'm not interested in her.

You into him or her? Or the other him?

Ouch!

What do you know about
the Hermetic Order of The Blue Rose?

It's a crock of sh*t.

[Jack clears throat]

I think they may have been recruited,

and I'm trying to figure out
what they have in common.

Besides being...

elitist assholes? Hi.

Hey, a lot of good people are members.
Michelle Obama, Warren Buffett, Oprah.

You know who's also
supposed to be members?

Bad people, like Benito Mussolini,
George W. Bush.

Oprah.

For someone that doesn't believe,
you sure know a lot about them.

I'm Wikipedia smart.

Look, even if they do exist...

I wouldn't get your hopes up.

- Why is that?
- They want sheep.

You've got a mind of your own.

[Jack] Yeah.

Well, who wouldn't want unlimited power?

Thanks for the beer.

See you around.

[Randall] Sounds good.

[snapping of twigs]

[buzzing of flies]

Hello?

Whatever.

- [snarls]
- [Weston yells]

Mr. Morton.

Chancellor Stone.

Detective Hayashi here
has some questions for you.

This is the part where you open the door
and let us in.

[Jack] Weston's dead?

When? How did it happen?

I'll ask the questions, all right?

Weston file a complaint against you.

He said you att*cked him.

[Jack] No, he att*cked me.
I was defending myself.

- Can you prove that?
- Check YouTube.

Are there any real people
who can verify your story?

Alyssa Drake.

She was there.
She was leading an orientation tour.

Will that be all, Detective?

Well, I will need to question the alibi,
Chancellor.

If you don't mind.

Of course. Belgrave is at your disposal.

That's a refreshing change.

Mr. Morton...

if you think of anything else,
don't hesitate to call.

I'll find my own way out.

[door shuts]

Receiving a scholarship

to Belgrave is no small feat.

I hope you're not planning to major
in self-sabotage.

- I told you I was defending myself.
- You're also enjoying yourself.

I saw the video.

Believe it or not,
I am sympathetic to your situation, but...

v*olence between students
cannot be tolerated.

So, consider this your one and only
get out of jail free card.

And that card expires after orientation.

[Jack sighs]

DUSK, KNEEBEND TRAIL

[Gregory]
Kneebend Trail. I mean, this is it, right?

- [male] It should be.
- You guys think I got time to go pee?

- [female] No.
- [male] No, just hold on.

You have got to be kidding me.

[male] Ignore them.
They all went to Prescott Academy.

You know what they say
about Prescott students?

Yeah. They're a bunch of pampered douches.

No, but that is pretty accurate.

- I'm Amir.
- Jack.

- So, I miss anything?
- [male voice] Silence!

Like that?

Subservience.

Observance.

You are no longer students.

You are Neophytes.

Less than nothing.

Seven are summoned,

three will be selected.

Find the coin.

Take more than one, and we will know.

[chink of metal]

Reveal the location to the others...

[chink of metal]

and we will know.

[female voice]
Find the coins by night five.

You have hours.

Alyssa?

BLADE & CHALICE

I'm confused. Do we have hours
or five nights?

That was a clue, Brandon.

Five nights is a clue.

- She said "night five," not "five nights."
- What's the difference?

He also said we're not supposed
to help each other.

No. He said we're not allowed to reveal
the location or take more than one.

He never said we couldn't work together
to decipher the clue.

- Sounds good to me.
- Why should we trust you?

'Cause I'm a legacy. I'm already in.

I'm not taking any chances.

Well, if I were you,

I'd be doing everything in my power
to make sure that townie doesn't get in.

Sweet. Like an alliance.

Yeah. Just like one.

[lecturer] Introduction to Ethics.

Such a strange name for a class.

I mean,

if I have to introduce you
to the concept of ethics,

what the hell have your parents been doing
for the past years?

[Jack, quietly]
Find the coins by night five.

Now, normally...

I'd ease you in to the class,

look over the syllabus...

I'd tell you what syllabus means,
but today...

Oh, today we're starting out...

in the shadow of a tragedy. Yes?

[student] Can we not talk about that?

Why? Why shouldn't we discuss it?

[student]
Because every time I think about him,

I remember how I thought about going
for a walk down that same trail.

And if I had a gone at that time,
on that day...

it could've been me.

Mm-hm.

And you feel relieved.

That's not what I meant.

No, listen. It's okay if you are.

I mean, look,
I was on that trail yesterday.

- I'm glad it wasn't me.
- That's selfish.

Of course it's selfish.

I can't think of anything more selfish
than wanting to stay alive.

Except trying to make yourself
the center of attention.

[giggles]

But let me ask you this.

Is self-preservation...

unethical?

I'm not trying to make myself
the center of attention,

but Wendell's death
is very upsetting to me.

And it's making me realize
how much I want to live my life.

- Weston.
- Who?

Dead friend, his name's Weston,
not Wendell.

[suppressed giggles]

You.

Hey, notebook.

How do you feel?

A little guilty.

Hm.

Why?

I feel like I'm benefiting from it.

You feel like his death
created an opportunity for you.

I think so, yes.

- He's a vulture.
- [lecturer] No, he's honest.

He's also not trying to pawn up
his narcissism as remorse.

And for those of you who don't know...

honesty

is actually a cornerstone
of ethics.

Imagine how well you're gonna do
if you actually pay attention.

[sighs]

[stone clunks back]

Damn it.

Better have a good reason
for ripping up my chessboard.

I doubt you'd believe me if I told you.

Oh, actually you might.

[stones clunk]

You wanna do this?

The black knight.

That's aggressive.

So, what's new?

Is that a test?

Is what a test?

[Jack] Never mind.

Oh, right. You think I'm in that...

secret society of yours.

I never said that.

Well, if I was, which I'm not,

I wouldn't tell you because I couldn't,
'cause you're not a member.

But it doesn't matter, 'cause I'm not.

[clunk]

Checkmate.

Yeah, sometimes the aggressive game
is the wrong tactic.

- I'll just keep that in mind.
- Yeah. You do that.

[male voice] Alyssa.

- Hey.
- Hey, Kyle.

Walk you to class?

Sounds good. Hey, you said you were
looking for the English building, right?

- Did I?
- You have a map.

Use it.

Okay.

Come on, let's go.

[clunk]

Nice.

English department, K- .

Knight five.

K- , no.

Night five, N- .

I don't understand
what the Temple Magus sees in him.

The same thing the Temple Magus
saw in us. Potential.

Potential, my ass.
The English building's that way.

N- should be...

[sound of crows]

[Jack] Todd!

Are you okay?

- I'm fine.
- Just trying to help.

I don't want your help.

I want that coin.

Hang tight.

It's in a box.

By the door.

I helped him!

- He's disqualified!
- You're an ass hat.

[groans]

[lock rattles]

[lock rattles]

[crash]

[snarls]

Hello.

[crash]

[crash]

- [crash]
- [snarls]

[Todd, outside] I saw it first!

[snarls]

Silence.

- [crash]
- [snarls]

- [snarls]
- [rattles]

[hurrying footsteps]

Hand it over.

[snarls]

[snarls]

- I found it first.
- [male voice] But...

you couldn't claim it.

[whoosh]

- [Jack] What you gonna do with him?
- [male voice] With who?

[Amir] I'm pumped that you got that coin
before Todd did.

I mean, the last thing I want
is to be a secret society

with just a bunch of assholes.

A bunch of assholes.
I wonder if there's a name for that.

- Like a m*rder of crows?
- Yeah.

- A bleach of assholes, you know?
- [Jack laughs]

- A Gregory of assholes.
- The assholios.

[Jack laughs]

A prolapse of assholes.

What do you think was in that box?

Man, I don't know, but whatever was,
it was mean and it was pissed off.

[woman screaming]

Come on!

[Jack] Drea, hang on.
Amir, call an ambulance.

[sound of a g*n cocking]

[Amir] Do you hear that?

- Amir, be careful.
- Hey!

- Hey!
- sh*t.

[Jack] Amir call now!

[Drea gasping]

No, no. Stay with me.

Hi, we need paramedics

- to Belgrave University.
- No, no.

- [Amir] A woman's been att*cked.
- [Jack] Stay with me. Help! Help!

Help!

sh*t!

[Jack] f*ck.

[male voice] So, you're walking home,
heard a scream, found her body.

And that's it?

That's it.

You sure?

Yeah.

If you remember anything else.

I already have one.

Yeah.

You're getting quite the collection.

[Jack clears throat]

NICE PEOPLE INSIDE. CERTAIN DEATH

You requested a safe walk?

Hey. What are...
[laughs]

Oh, they must have double booked us.
Three thirty at the Delbrook Building?

Yep.

You take it.

No, just... you can stick around,

- if you want.
- Okay.

[Jack] So.

how you holding up?

Me? I should be asking you that question.

Me? I'm fine.

You don't have to bottle up your feelings.

You haven't met my grandfather.

- "Suck it up, buttercup?"
- That is the Tao of Pete.

Wow. You know, that sounds a lot
like the Gospel according to Babs.

Stepmother.

Hey.

Thanks for the hint yesterday.

I don't know what you're talking about.

You my safe-walk?

- What happened to you?
- Bike accident.

Yeah. Can we go?

[Todd] Yeah, bikers.

- What was in that powder?
- What powder?

- That powder you just...
- I didn't do anything.

And if somebody did do something
with some powder,

do you think it's wise to talk to me
about it?

Even though I don't know
what you're talking about?

- Probably not.
- Definitely not.

[Todd] Hello?

I'm not feeling very safe.

How do they do that?

Professor Clarke?

Please, John, call me Eric.

My name's Jack.

Oh, okay. Call me Brian.

- Why Brian?
- Look,

I won't remember your name,
it only seems fair.

Oh. What if I told you
I had to do something wrong

and I knew it was wrong,
but I also knew that if I did it,

good would eventually come
from my actions?

[Prof Clarke] Oh.

You're already wondering
if you should k*ll the baby h*tler.

- What?
- It's thought experiment.

Sort of like the trolley question,
but with time travel. So, would you?

Go back in time and k*ll h*tler?
Of course.

You'd k*ll a baby? You monster!

We don't know if he's born evil.
You're not even gonna try and save him?

Okay, I won't.

You won't? You won't k*ll h*tler?
He's f*cking h*tler!

Is this gonna be on the test?

I don't know. But see, it...

it illustrates that you can't use
a possibility to justify a certainty.

Base your decision on the action itself.
Is it fundamentally good or bad?

But I know good would come
from my actions.

Okay, well, yeah.
Sounds like you've made up your mind.

If you're looking for someone
to justify your decision for you,

I'm not your man.

I can do this.

[Jack] Well, that was the scavenger hunt
from hell.

[Amir] I can't believe they made you
get cocaine and a g*n.

They're not making it easy for you.

How was your list?

I couldn't tell if they were testing
my subservience

or my religious convictions.

Think how good it's gonna feel when they
initiate the both of us.

That's true.

[chink]
[splash]

Oh, sh*t, dude, I am so sorry.

All over your good jeans, too.

Those are your good jeans, right?

Or are they your only jeans?

[bartender] Here you go, two beers.

Cheers, boys.

[Jack clears throat]

His voice sound familiar to you?

Let's go, okay?

Forget about them, okay?

[Jack clears throat]

[Jack] Better luck next time, d*ck face.

See you around, Kyle.

They cut me and kept that waste of skin?

- It's such bullshit. I'm a f*cking legacy!
- Shut up, okay? Just shut up.

And don't worry about it, okay?
I'll take care of it.

[cellphone rings]

Duty calls.

You're gonna get yourself
in trouble, Jack.

[fencing rattles]

[knocks on wall]

[knocks again]

[door scratches on floor]

[female voice] Mala revelentur.

[Jack's voice] Drea, hang on.
Amir, call an ambulance.

- Did you hear that?
- Amir, be careful, eh?

[Jack's voice] Hey!

Amir, call now!

No, no. Stay with me.
Stay with me. Help!

Help!

Necromancy.

[faint hissing]

[click]

It's so disgusting.

[sound of flames]

[Jack] You're not surprised?

Why aren't you surprised?

Because it makes a lot of sense.

Magic? It makes sense to you?

There's always been rumors
about strange rituals.

Human sacrifices.

This explains so much.

- It's fantastic.
- No!

It is insane.
I did not sign up for this, okay?

Something in the forest
is k*lling Neophytes.

- And two students are already dead.
- Wait, wait. Back that up.

- What's a Neophyte?
- It's what they call the pledges.

You heard me when I said
something is k*lling us, right?

[Pops]
Have a little faith in yourself, sport.

Hell, if anything...

this will make your life easier.

[Jack] Er, no. Look, look, Pops,
I don't know if I can keep doing this.

We've always wanted to ruin his life.

Imagine what we can do to this bastard
with magic in our arsenal.

Pete.

I don't wanna die.

- Fine.
- Okay.

And we don't want anyone else to die,
either.

Nobody's gonna die.

Well, except for the...

two who already did. I can see that.

Erm...

Come on.

I'll buy you a beer.

What the...? Hey.

I think they just magicked this
into my pocket.

Really?

The way you described it,

I was expecting something
a little more Siegfried and Roy.

"Wear for your protection."

"Observance."

You can stare at the board all you want,
you still lost.

[Jack] I know I'm not supposed to know
you're a member,

and I know you won't answer, but...

I gotta ask.

This final test, is it worth it?

At first, no.

It's demanding and time consuming
and a lot of sacrifice.

But eventually, yes.

It'll be worth it.

Why?

Because of the potential.

Because of what you're gonna
be able to do.

Thank you.

[Jack] Oh,
this is not how I wanna spend my night.

[shovel clinks on ground]

But I guess it's the price of admission.

[sighs]

I'm sorry, Mom.

[shutter sound]

[man laughing]

[Kyle] Oh, man!

I just don't get the aversion
to black and white, you know?

There's just something about it.
It's so... real.

You set me up.

Mom's grave. Nice touch.

Mm. I do have a flare
for the dramatic, don't I?

Okay, so this is how this is gonna go.

You're going to drop out, voluntarily,

and I'll let you keep your scholarship.

That's so big of you, Kyle.

Or you can keep being
a belligerent little sh*t,

and I take this to the chancellor,
the police.

Hell, see how many hits
I get on the Internet.

Blackmail? Oh, man.

What a relief.
I thought you were the k*ller.

Oh, no, no.

If I was the k*ller,
you'd already be dead.

Let's test that theory.

[chink of metal]

[seething sound]

Er,
do you know how a fight actually works?

Deleatur!

[crash]
[falling of rubble]

Holy sh*t!

[Kyle chuckles]
Oh, that's right.

[snarling]

You should be very afraid of me.

Kyle, behind you.

Do you honestly think
I'm gonna fall for that?

[snarling]

[snarls]

- Oh, sh*t, man!
- [shovel clangs]

[Jack] Oh, sh*t! Sorry.

[wolf snarls]

No, wait! f*ck you, Kyle!
f*ck you for bringing me here.

[wolf snarls]

Okay, boy, take it easy.

I'm just a pledge.

- [snarls]
- [thud]

- [Jack groans]
- [wolf snarls]

- [Jack groans]
- [low snarling]

- [wolf snarls]
- [Jack groans]

[wolf snarls loudly]

- [receding thumping sounds]
- [Jack pants]