01x05 - Homecoming, Part 1

[bunniefuu]

[chanting] One of us, one of us!
One of us, one of us!

One of us, one of us!
One of us, one of us!

One of us, one of us!

- [can crackles]
- [Lilith cheers]

Long is the road and short is the life.

Jack Morton, welcome home.

Now, let's kick evil's ass!

[all cheer]

Hey.

Shh.

- I thought we were going to fight evil?
- [Randall] And we will.

When there's evil to fight.

Until then, will you all please shut up
so I can work on my essay?

What are you writing about?

The feminist metaphor
of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.

Let me guess. The monster's a clitoris.

Yes.

So, what? We're just gonna sit around?
It's already been a week.

Jack, we can't go all "Justice League"

until our Spidey-senses tingle.

[Hamish] No. I told you once.

- You can't mix DC and Marvel.
- DC and Marvel. Yeah.

Shouldn't we at least go out
and look for evil doers?

You did not just say "evil doers."

Look, Jack, being a Knight
is a sacred duty.

[Randall] Doody.

And I know you're anxious to get in
on the game, but waiting is part of...

- [ringing sounds]
- Finally!

We're not going to check that out?

It's probably just your friend
stealing another pizza.

Or maybe it's something evil
k*lling people?

- Guys, I made my decision.
- Oh, come on, Lame-ish.

Once around the campus.
What harm can it do?

Anything to shut him up.

[Jack groans]

Where you going?

Ah, is Little Jackie shy?

I'm an only child!

- [muted laughs]
- [door bangs shut]

- [sound of thunder]
- [sound of rain]

- [woman's soft moaning]
- [kissing]

[sound of running feet]

[woman's soft moaning]

[low snarling]

- [woman's moaning]
- [man's muffled yells]

- [man's yells]
- [ripping of flesh]

- [woman's soft snarling]
- [sound of thunder]

[breaking glass]

[woman's demonic scream]

[snarling]

[Edward] You know, I've been thinking
about our place in the world,

and I see us as so lucky

that it makes me wonder,
maybe we should be giving back more.

Hell, we all want something.

Maybe it's control of a corporation,

maybe it's sex...

[muted laughter]

fame,

power.

Professional respect.

Or maybe it's just
good old-fashioned revenge.

The point is,

I think we can have it all
and serve the greater good

and ourselves,

because I have found the way.

The Vade Maecum Infernal.

With all due respect, Magus,

The Vade Maecum Infernal
is incredibly dangerous.

Every practitioner who's gone
looking for it has wound up...

disappeared,

dismembered...

dead.

[man's voice] If the Grand Magus seeks
to resurrect The Vade Maecum,

then a Temple Magus has no place
questioning his ambition.

[Vera] I am merely suggesting
a little restraint.

Once you start down this road,
there is no turning back.

Then we move forward.

There are two sections left.

This order will find both of them,
and together

we will build a world
like you've never seen.

"My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings.

Look on my works,
ye mighty, and despair."

That's... that's you.
That's how you sound.

Renée.

Long time no see.

Not long enough. [coughs]

Oh, Eddie.

Don't be coy.

You knew this day would come.

Or should I cut open
one of your wax figures...

and show you the future?

Necromancy is forbidden here.

You know the rules,
we wrote them because of you.

Now, get out.

Oh, lighten up, Sour Patch.
Where's your school spirit?

It's homecoming.

Go, Timber Wolves.

Grand Magus, we can't allow this...

creature to stay.

Surprise, surprise.
Professor Hemmings has an opinion.

[Prof Hemmings] You and your sister's
perverted ambitions defiled The Order.

You nearly started a w*r. We should
have k*lled you when we had the chance.

[Renée] Oh.

I'd like to see you try.

[soft ringing]

[low boom]

[Prof Hemmings gasps]

[Prof Hemmings softly snorting]

Renée, that's enough.

- [Prof Hemmings chokes]
- [thuds]

What do you want?

Oh, sweetness.

Don't ask me what I want.

Ask what I'm prepared to give.

[Jack] Lilith, you k*lled that girl!

Girl? She was barely human.

- Oh, look, they're fighting.
- Guys.

No. Stop.

There are ways to do this
without k*lling everyone.

What part of "werewolf"
don't you understand?

Honestly? I don't know why we spell it
like "were," but pronounce it like "wear."

What if that girl was possessed?
Maybe she was like Clarke.

Maybe we could have saved her.

Look, fine.

Sometimes we can wear out a spell
and not k*ll anyone and that's great.

But if it comes down to me
or some monster bitch

who ate a guy's face off,
I'm getting mine.

And how many innocent people have d*ed
so you can get your rocks off?

- You're not in charge here.
- No, I am.

You, stop trying to call the sh*ts.

You, stop trying to k*ll everybody.

[door bangs]

I'm dying, Eddie.

Are you sure?

Oh, it's cancer.

Doctor certified.

You know, it turns out
death is a lot less fun

if I'm not the one causing it.

Well, you of all people know
the future isn't written in stone.

Yeah, well, it depends
on whose future you're looking at.

Then why are you here?

'Cause you're gonna save my life,
dumb-dumb.

I'm a little busy, Renée.

Ah, yes.

Hunting The Vade Maecum Infernal.

And you have two pieces left.

But the only ones who know where they are
have been dead for a long...

long time.

What if you could talk to the dead?

What if you could simply...

ask where it all was...

and they had to tell you the truth?

We both know that's not possible.

Not unless you have...

the Necrophone.

It's practically a legend.

So am I.

I cure your cancer,
you give me the device.

You've always been a clever boy.

It's dangerous magic.

Unpredictable.

I already know you're going to say yes.

That's why I came.

Don't waste too much time.

You should go home to your cats, Vera.
They're missing you.

- I don't have cats.
- Oh, you will.

You're not really thinking
of helping her, are you?

We do an Elemental Transference,
like we did with Keith Richards.

It's high risk, but saving her life
puts us years ahead of schedule.

You'd be better off letting her die.

Since when do I take orders
from a Temple Magus?

We will do everything in our power
to save her.

- And if she dies, it's no great loss.
- [Vera] Mm.

Try telling that to the blood-soaked
hellion she calls her sister.

You fail this spell

and that's exactly what you'll be doing.

[Jack] Alyssa! Alyssa!

Hey. Oh!

[Alyssa] Hey.

- So, listen.
- You get a new tutor?

What? Oh, yeah, Selena.

She's not as good as you.

She is if she can stop you
from performing unsanctioned magic.

Look, last week

we talked and then we kissed.

Mm-hm. I know. I was there.

- What's your point?
- It was great.

- Fun and...
- [Alyssa] Fun?

- That's what you're gonna go with?
- No!

Look, my first crush was on the girl robot
in Wall-E, so when I met you...

Oh, my God, Jack. Stop.

I almost d*ed.

- Because the kiss was so good?
- No. Forget the kiss.

I'd rather not.

Remember how the Grand Magus recruited me
or that project?

Well, I helped him do this insane spell

and things got way out of hand.

- And he almost k*lled you?
- No. Edward saved my life.

Edward?

What does he have to do with us?

Jack...

he made me realize what I want.

And that's what?

- To be the Grand Magus.
- Alyssa, hey.

I'm glad I caught you. Morton,
you might as well hear this, too.

There's gonna be an incantation
this Friday,

and I happen to know
it's going to be huge.

It's not another destabilize
the Argentinian economy thing, is it?

No, no.

It's way bigger than that.
Like, life and death type sh*t.

I'd never even heard of it before.
It's called...

- an elemental something...
- An Elemental Transference?

Yeah. That's it. That's it.

What the hell
is an Elemental Transference?

[Jack] That's what I asked.
It's not in any of the basic spell books.

Alyssa said it's super-rare.

But trust me, if Coventry ordered it,
it can't be good.

I've done it twice already. Go to the bar.

I don't want to go. It's too crowded.
Come on.

I want to go on record
that I am completely opposed to this.

[Hamish] You want to go to the bar?

Yeah, no.

Come on.

Come on.

Anaplerosi.

[awed sigh]

- [R] Wait, why is there no ringing?
- [H] Maybe because he's a Knight.

- [Randall] So cool.
- [Lilith] So not cool.

Look, we have to figure out
what this Elemental Transference is

and why they want it.

No. We need to stop them.

You can't just storm the temple
on this one.

The place is defended
with a f*ck-ton of magic spells.

That's ten sh*t-tons. Impressive.

- I suppose you have a better idea?
- I'm behind enemy lines.

Okay, I can sabotage the spell
from the inside,

and stall for time while you guys
research what it does.

- Sounds good.
- Sounds stupid.

Guys.

We're supposed to be
the Knights of Saint Christopher,

not the Nerds of Saint Christopher.

- [R] And what if he gets caught?
- They'll probably just k*ll him.

Wait, what?

Hey, this is your idea.

When he screws up and dies,
we go with my plan.

Deal.

[chink of glasses]

[faint crackle of flame]

[man's voice] Hey, watch the lines, bro.

[crackle of flame]

[Alyssa] Jack.

Kyle, watch this.

If that's mineral salt,
it goes to the reliquary for now.

All this for one incantation?

It's not for an incantation.
It's for the benefit of the entire Order.

You mean for Coventry.

- Reliquary. Go.
- Yes, Medicum.

[smacking sound]

Watch where you're going, Morton.

Be careful.

We spill any of this Quicksilver,
we're gonna be in deep sh*t.

Now.

[rising sounds]

[low bubbling]

- [Kyle] Oh.
- [squeak of metal]

Holy sh*t.

Okay.

[faint click]

Anaplerosi.

- [bubbling sound]
- [woman's voice] Oh, no!

[Vera] Two days of preparation ruined.

And I'd like to know who's responsible.

Hm?

[Alyssa] It was me.

The transference chains
were my responsibility.

I asked Kyle to take over while...

I checked on something else.

Ms. Drake.

This kind of failure is unacceptable.

You're banned from temple
until we've completed the transference.

Yes, Magus.

How's it going?

Slow.

Hey.

Accidents happen.

I don't need a pep talk.
It was my responsibility

and I screwed up.

I let them down.

I let him down.

Edward?

This spell is so important to him.

So, that's all?

I don't see how
that's any of your business.

Then... go talk to him.

- Explain the situation.
- No. This is my problem.

The Order helps those
who help themselves.

Is that what they do?

From where I'm sitting,
it sounds more like a pyramid scheme.

We do all the work,

and maybe someday we'll get someone else
to do all the work for us.

Oh, is that what you think?
After all your years of experience?

[Alyssa sighs]

I'm not hungry.

Here.

Alyssa?

Look,

I really am sorry.

Why? It's not your fault.

Even if it was,
there's nothing you can do.

[faint sound of dogs barking]

[crash]

[child's voice] Can I help you?

- Are you all right?
- What?

Oh, yeah.

I'm looking for Edward Coventry?
Is this his house?

I hope so. Otherwise, I'm trespassing.

[Edward] Maddox, let's go, buddy!

[Edward panting]

I know you.

I'm Jack Morton from Belgrave University.

Met you at the...

the thing with the, the stuff?

- You k*lled the golem?
- [Edward] Maddox, shh.

[Edward laughs]

- Sick.
- [Edward] All right.

Why don't you get inside?
I'll kick your ass later.

- No, you won't. Nice meeting you, Jack!
- Go on.

Well, this is highly unusual,
you being here.

It's about Alyssa Drake.

[cell phone beeps]

[gates click open]

Mr. Morton.

You know, don't take this the wrong way,
but what are you doing at my house?

Look, the whole mess at the temple,

it wasn't Alyssa's fault.

I ruined your spell.

I mean, I didn't do it on purpose.
It was an accident.

Jack,

relax.

Nothing's ruined.

We're right on schedule.

The way Chancellor Stone reacted...

The Magus runs the temple
the way she likes.

As for the spell, look, it has to succeed.
It's important to me.

Then why kick Alyssa off the team?

She is the best you've got.
And she deserves to be there.

Jack.

Do you understand what we do?

We create order...

from chaos.

We have the power to change the world.

And yeah, we demand a lot of you.

And it's not always fair.

But The Order's not about fairness.

The Order...

[faint ringing starts]

- it's about...
- [splashing and crackling]

It's about rising to your potential.

Great advice.

[rising sound]

- [slashing sound]
- [Edward yells]

[Edward groans]

[roaring]

[sound of blood squelching]

[roaring fades]

The Order is about rising
to your potential.

[Jack panting faintly]

I see a lot of myself in you, Jack.

We both grew up poor,
we both rose from nothing.

And best of all,
we are both honest men.

It takes balls to do what you did.

But most importantly,
you did it for The Order.

I have an assignment for you,
if you're up to it.

Of course, whatever you need.

And Alyssa?

Don't worry, son.

I'll take care of Alyssa.

[gates click open]

[Hamish]
Rub all you want, it won't come out.

If I was trying to rub one out,
you'd know.

[Hamish] What are you doing?

Waiting for Morton to f*ck up.

You?

Extra credit.

Anything interesting in this one?

- Depends. Can you read Sumerian?
- No.

Yes.

How do I know Sumerian?

Because Timber knows it.

Jack's right. There's a lot we don't know
about our powers.

You should read this.

It's the diary of a Knight from the s.

She talks about the hides, their powers.

You might learn something.

I know everything I need.

I remember the night you said the oath.
After Cassie, after sh...

[sighs]

You, me, and Randall got drunk.

We crashed out and you spent all night
down here carving your name on that trunk.

I was so mad at you for defacing it.

But then I figured, Cassie's dead.

It's hers now.

Let her do what she wants.

That's what everyone does anyway.

I'm saying not all change is bad.

[Lilith]
We never should have taken Jack in.

He doesn't need this.

Not like we do.

No one needs this, Lil.

I need this!

I don't even know who I was before this.

I gave my life to the cause.

And what the f*ck am I supposed to do
if the cause won't take it?

Keep living.

- Where are you going?
- Out.

[sound of traffic nearby]

[faint squeak of brakes]

[engine stops]

[horn blares]

[Kyle] Get in, townie.

[door slams]

[engine starts]

[faint squeak of brakes]

[keys rattle]

[female voice] Subjects are ready.

What are you waiting for?
Open the back, load them up.

- Go!
- [male voice] At once.

[female voice]
Let's go. Let's go, come on!

- [female] Let's go, let's go.
- [male] Bags on your head. Let's go.

Come on, bags on your head. Move!

[female] Hurry up.

Get in there.

[Jack] What is this?

I don't recall giving you permission
to ask questions.

[male voice] It's okay, kid.
Don't sweat it. I'm an element.

An element?

What does that even mean?

It means everybody needs to get in
the van! Like now! Hurry up!

[male voice] You heard him. Let's go!

- Are we kidnapping these people?
- What does it look like?

- It looks like we're kidnapping these pe...
- They're volunteers! Okay?

So, just relax.

The transference only works
with willing participants anyways.

[male in van] Yeah, it's fine.
You're paying my family a hundred grand.

Plus you're giving my granddaughter
a full scholarship.

- See?
- What are they volunteering for?

And why are we paying their families
and not them?

[male in van, laughing]
Because we're all gonna die, stupid.

[doors slam]

[female] All right. Let's go.

Congratulations, Morton. You're about
to pop your sacrifice cherry.

[chuckles]

Ah.

[loud bang]

[sound of metal creaking]

[engine revs]

[wheels spinning]

- [male] Try putting it in gear?
- Try shutting up, bag of bones.

[male chuckles]

- Right, whatever you're doing, cut it out.
- It's not me.

[wheels scream, spinning]

[engine revving]

[snarls]

Oh, sh*t. Kyle, cut the engine.

Kyle! Cut the f*cking engine!

[wheels screaming]

- [engine roars]
- [crash]

[sound of glass smashing]

[Jack gasps]

You want to explain yourself, assh*le?

- This isn't what it looks like.
- Really?

'Cause it looks like you're driving
five people to their slaughter.

- I didn't know that!
- [Lilith] Now, you do.

- And we're gonna stop it.
- No.

The Grand Magus is after something.
I need to know what.

You can't stop it.

I won't let you.

You think I can't take you?

You think you can take Silverback?

Wake up!

[Kyle grunts]

Hang on, old man.

[male] Gad, go f*ck yourself!

[Lilith] You f*cking hypocrite!

Okay, let's take a breath.

You have the nerve to give me sh*t
about eating some monster's heart,

but you turn around and drive a van
full of people to their death!

- You what?
- It's the Elemental Transference.

The spell needs willing sacrifices.
Five of them.

You're supposed to be sabotaging it.

- Not helping.
- I did sabotage it!

Okay? And we were up and running again
in twelve hours.

[Randall] Dude... we're your "we."

[Lilith] So you failed.

- You admit it.
- No.

Look, I talked to Coventry.
I saw it in his eyes.

He’s so desperate for this spell,
he'll do anything.

He'll risk the entire Order,
and we need to know why.

We know why.

This spell cures sickness
by passing it on to other people.

And they don't just die.
The disease has to k*ll them,

or else the whole thing reverses.
It's t*rture, Jack.

When did I learn Latin?

Look, no! If he's doing this spell,
he's doing it for a reason.

There'll be something big
at the end of it.

If we play it smart, I can figure out
what Coventry's after, what his plan is,

- and then at the right moment...
- The moment is now!

- This is the reason we became Knights!
- What if we make it worse?

What if we save these five people,
and then he kills a thousand?

- I won't let that happen.
- [Jack] He lit his hand on fire

as a parlor trick. You go at him,
he's gonna put you down.

And then none of this is gonna matter.

- It's gonna matter to those five people.
- Oh, whatever, "k*ll-ith."

Okay, I love that nickname,
but this is still wrong.

Randall, you wanted an inside man.

Let me do my job as a Knight.

Hamish, no one can save those people,
but we can stop Edward Coventry for good.

You see a chance to stop this spell,
you take it.

- I promise I will.
- Then go.

[sound of church bells]

[silently mouthing words]

Oh, for God's sake,
I can smell your lust.

Get out of my sight, you dripping sheep.

[door rattles]

Go.

[door closes]

[Edward sighs]

- This is your last chance to back out.
- Now why would I ever do that?

Because if the spell
doesn't go as planned...

Oh, Eddie Munster, you really do care
about me, don't you?

I care about the deal.

f*ck the deal.

You know, you'd be a lot happier
without it.

This is my life's work.

Do you know why The Order
kicked me out, Eddie?

Because you and your sister
almost k*lled half the coven.

They kicked me out

because I saw the future.

I saw what The Order becomes.

I saw what you become.

And it scared the sh*t out of them.

Your ambition, it comes with a price.

And you know that.

Or do you really think your wife's death
was an accident?

Leave Sophie out of this.

I'm not blaming you, Eddie.

Just merely reminding you

that fate...

like everything else...

is negotiable.

Maybe you should think about quitting.

You first.

[door bangs shut]

- [bang]
- I've read your stupid book.

This Knight? She wore your hide.

She was a leader.

She listened to people,
she trusted their instincts.

- She believed in the cause.
- So do I.

We can't just sit here.

- I have to stop that spell.
- We can't fight The Order head on.

I get it, Hamish.

- You're old, and you want to live.
- I'm not old.

And duh!

But the price those people are paying
is on us.

Jack won't save them.

- He can't even save himself.
- Jack's one of us.

He'll do the right thing.

[ringing starts]

- [ringing]
- [Lilith sighs]

This is it, Hamish.

It's happening.

So, you need to decide.
What kind of leader are you?

The kind that knows what he's doing.

Now, stand down.

[Lilith stamping]

[door slams]

[chanting in Latin]

[Latin chant continues]

Hm.

[Latin chant continues]

[Latin chant continues]

[sound of footsteps]

[man whimpers]

[Latin chant continues]

[ringing sound]

[Latin chant continues]

[Latin chant finishes]

[woman's voice] Ex...

tenebris...

lux.

[man whimpers]

[sound rising]

Did… did you…
[bubbles]

[bubbling]

[screams]

[man screams]

- [many voices screaming]
- [rattling of chains]

- [screaming]
- [rattling of chains]

- [boom]
- [rattling of chains]

[man groaning]

[man screaming]

- [booming]
- [ringing]

[sounds fade]

[gasps]

[sighs]

[faint groaning]

[laughs]

[sighs]

Eddie...

that was a miracle.

You look good.

I look amazing and you know it.

I have some people ready to take you home.

When you're ready.

I was hoping you might tuck me in.

Now, you know that's not going to happen.

You said it yourself, Eddie,
the future's not set in stone.

It's all twisty and turny...

like your intestinal organs.

Once you're home,
give my people the device.

After all we've been through
and you still don't trust me?

[kissing]

Not on your life.

[exhales]

[Lilith] Jack said he would come back.

He f*cked us. It's over.

No. We can still stop it.

How?

The book said the sacrifices have to die
from the disease.

And what happens if they don't?

We win.

Follow my lead.

About f*cking time.

[Renée] Would you kids like a drink?

Some hard dr*gs? An orgy?

Er...

We should probably get going.

How disappointing. The case...

for Edward, with my compliments.

- Is there anything we need to tell him?
- Oh, is there ever?

Okay, so...

I guess... Is that it? We just leave?

How are we supposed to get home?
She has the car.

- Let's worry about that in the morning.
- No, I don't wanna stay here.

No, we'll get a hotel room. My treat.

Together?

Relax. You can sleep on the couch.

[muted sound of voices and beeping
in background]

[message alert swoosh]

[message alert ding]

[message alert swoosh]

[message alert ding]

[message alert swoosh]

[sound of a bell]

Who's there?

[beeping continues]

- [beeping]
- [creaking of floorboards]

[door creaks]

Hey. What's up?

- Who are you? What are you doing here?
- Where are my friends?

Yeah, where are your...

- [screaming]
- [snarling]

[snarling]

[roaring]

- [beeping sounds]
- [man sighing]

- [man groans]
- [Lilith] Why would anyone agree to this?

Because they were already dying.

Weren't you, old man?

f*cking cirrhosis.

[Hamish]
The spell said "willing sacrifices."

Who else would be willing to die?

[man] Please.

It hurts.

Just k*ll me.

Just k*ll me.

That's why you sided with Jack.

Are you ready?

I'm not sure I can do this.

Call it mercy.

- [bang]
- [snarling]

- [snarling]
- [flatline beeps]

[bell rings]

[sound of traffic outside]

See? There's your couch,
and there's my bed.

[Jack] Hm.

[laughs]

Those people...

that spell...

I just hope whatever is in that case
is worth all that suffering.

They were dying
before we ever touched them.

At least this way, their families
are taken care of and...

This case, Edward's plan,

we're going to help so many people.

We're going to change the world.

[sighs]

He told me what you did.

That you went to see him.

He said that you were chivalrous.

My knight.

[Alyssa] I... I guess I'll...

see you in the morning.

Yeah.

[door clicks]

[sighs]

[door clicks]

Er...

I couldn't sleep.

[laughs]

Me neither.

Do you want to not sleep together?

Absolutely.

[exhales slowly]

[sound of a drip]

[sound of water]

[bubbling sound]

Oh, f*ck!

[bubbling and hissing]

[screams]