06x25 - The Ghouls

[bunniefuu]

Halloween, it's Halloween Halloween, it's Halloween Now remember all the rules On the art of trick or treating If you're cute as can be, you'll get candy for free And if you fill these up, start eating And when we're offered raisins We refuse them 'cause they're healthy And confectionery is better where The neighborhood is wealthy Give us all your candy Give us all your treats If we did this every day, we would be morbidly obese A cauldron full of candy corn And chocolate up my sleeve It's the best night of the year So let's all hail All Hallows' Eve We're gonna make some dough, on the night of Halloween Though this food is expired, hey presto, inspired Now it's right on theme These people will spend hundreds On their spooky misdemeanors And I can charge a dollar more If I rebrand these Frankenweiners Thank you! Although there's still Black Friday Christmas Day, and New Year's Eve Tonight we make a k*lling Let's all hail All Hallows' Eve We dress up how we like on the night of Halloween A submarine Captain! A cage that I'm trapped in! A sixteenth

-century Queen A time to show each other how we really feel inside I messed up something rotten 'Cause my wife is still my bride Mehmeh I get to dress up pretty I get to wear a wig It's the night of make believe So let's all hail All Hallows' Eve All hail All Hallows' Eve Yeah! Hey, dude, we should go get Carrie! Uh, she's not the Halloween type.

She said she'd rather skip it.

But she's a ghost.

That's like saying Mr Small would miss out on a psychic crystal convention.

Psychic crystal convention?

! Where?

! Yeah?

Uh Yeah?

Mm.

Yeah?

Hmm.

Okay, so that's 10 blocks down, third street on the right! Thanks! Did you tell him all that with your mind?

No.

Then what did you tell him?

Yeah, it's not appropriate to say out loud.

Uh, dude, when someone doesn't answer the door, it means they're either busy or not in.

No, it means you didn't knock loud enough.

Go away! I'm in the middle of a, uh, dinner! You're a ghost.

You don't eat! Yeah?

Well, then, I

-

- I'm busy! You're immortal.

You've got all the time in the world.

Yeah, well, I've got a doctor's appointment in the morning.

Uh, you've been dead for 300 years.

I'm not sure your health insurance will cover anything they find.

Look, I just don't want anything to do with Halloween, okay?

What?

But

-

- But it's great! I mean, there's candy and costumes And candy.

My point exactly.

Halloween is supposed to for the ghosts and ghouls of Elmore.

It's meant to be scary, and it's not anymore.

Well, sure it is.

I don't mean how frightening your dental hygiene is after illegal amounts of candy.

What do you mean uh Well, what do all the ghosts and ghouls do on Halloween?

Well, they're still around trying to scare people, but it's way harder these days.

Come.

I'll show you.

Wait.

What are you doing?

Aren't you gonna take us by the hand and fly us to see the Halloweens that have been and the Halloweens that are yet to come?

No, we're going across the street.

Thanks! And if you can't cross the road without holding someone's hand, then maybe you shouldn't be out this late.

Dude, you know how we can get more candy without trick

-or

-treating?

We plant some and harvest it next fall.

No.

There's an urban legend that you can summon Mr.

Candy.

All you gotta do is say his name three times.

Sweet! I'm in.

Candy, Candy, Candy! Candy, Candy, Candy! Then you'll taste my sweet revenge! Huh?

Ah?

What?

We want candy.

We want candy.

Well, I don't have any.

But you're supposed to bring us candy! No, if you summon me, I'm supposed to exact a terrible revenge upon you for my unjust end! Aaaand then give us candy?

No! And if you don't mind, I was in the middle of something! Candy, Candy, Candy! What?

! Yeah, do you know anyone who does give out candy?

No! Candy, Candy, Candy! Oh, for

-

- I got half a breath mint.

Take that, and leave me alone.

You really don't live up to your name, man.

Mmm! Fresh.

Aaarr! Mm, he's kinda got a point.

The name is quite misleading.

Maybe he should call himself Mr.

Angry Bee Head.

Come on.

Let me show you something else.

I'm sorry.

It won't happen again.

Huh?

Who are you?

Your worst nightmare! Wait.

You're not scared of me?

No, not really.

But you were running away from me.

No, I was running because I was gonna be l

-l

-late Ugh.

It's another work dream.

Oh! So, uh, what are you doing here?

I'm here to haunt your nightmares.

What are you most scared of?

Well, I've still got 19 years to pay on my mortgage.

That's a little daunting.

Woooooooo! House repayments! Foreclosure

-

- Uh, anything else scare ya?

Well, I do worry that my talent won't live up to my expectations.

Oh, come on.

How am I supposed to show that?

Whatever happened to bats and snakes?

I've got a live toad! Oh, air holes.

I've got a toad.

Nah.

I'm good.

Well I'm quite tired, and I've got work in the morning, and um Yeah, yeah, I know.

'Fraid you're gonna be late.

There, there, buddy.

See?

No one's scared anymore.

I don't know.

I think it'd be pretty scary if he blew his nose.

Yep, there it is.

But isn't it weird, spying on people like this?

No! It's only weird if you make it weird.

See?

There are some scary things out on Halloween night.

That's not what I meant.

"If you play this, it could be the last thing you ever play.

" That's terrible! Littering our beautiful parks.

The nerve of some people.

What is it, anyway?

No idea.

It looks like someone tried to make a book out of plastic and ribbon.

Maybe it's a yo

-yo from before they discovered gravity.

Give it a go.

See?

No! No! No, no, no, don't! You're ruining it! It's a cursed video tape! You watch it on a VHS player! A what?

And that's how a VHS works.

Of course, the problem with this cursed tape is, you know, people don't get the chance to rewind it.

Yeah, anyway, I got a life to live.

Is there any way we can stream it?

Huh?

Aaaaaaah! Do you wanna watch a scary movie?

W

-w

-what do you mean?

I said, do you wanna watch a scary movie?

No, I mean what sort?

Vampire, zombie, werewolf, zombie werewolf, werewolf zombie, werewolf vampire, zombie werewolf vampire Uh haunted house, grindhouse, ESP horror I

-I

-I crime and giallo, Lovecraftian, mummies and golems, Cthulhu mythos, jiangshi fiction, mumblecore?

Or do you mean gothic, Southern gothic, Southern Ontario gothic, urban gothic, suburban gothic, or Tasmanian gothic?

Uh, you know what?

Someone's at the door.

I gotta go.

No, there's not.

I just locked all the doors and windows.

You have to watch a scary movie with me now.

No, no, no, I don't! I can hang up! Ha ha ha! You can't hide, 'cause the first place I'd look would be in your basement.

What the

-

- You're here?

I thought you wanted to watch a scary movie, 'cause I really love scary movies.

I knew there was a good reason to keep my gym membership.

Feel the burn, buddy.

See?

No one is frightened! Want some candy corn?

Thank you.

Aah! it's all about candy, candy, candy! Grrr! Huh?

What the?

Oh, sorry, Mr Angry Bee Head, were you in the middle of slaying someone?

Yeah, not quite.

I was, uh, stacking shelves.

Wait.

You work in a supermarket?

Yeah.

But I also do a bit of beekeeping on the side.

I've got about 20, 25 bees.

Oof.

That's, uh

-

- That's pretty, pretty lame.

Oh, that's nothing.

All the guys have had to find other work since people stopped being scared of us.

Children's parties It's a little doggy! No, it's a rat.

landscape gardening Quit the dancing! There's another 10 peacocks and a Venus de Milo to do by lunch.

even working as a masseuse.

Wow, you got such a light touch.

Man, that sucks.

Worse still, I can't even take a break without my supervis

-

- Candy, candy, candy! Ugh.

Dude, it's so sad.

We need to help them get their scare back.

He's right.

We'll do anything.

Is there a page we can like or a wristband we can wear or something?

Well, there is one thing.

An ancient spell that will make everyone frightened of them again.

But it needs the permission of one living being.

Well, if I don't have to do anything then, yeah, you've got my permission.

Where do I sign?

Aah! Shut the door! Shut the door! Shut it! This is all I could get! Well, that's gonna have to do, 'cause I don't think we're ever gonna be able to leave our house again! Thanks, guys![ Both scream