05x35 - The Petals

[bunniefuu]

Psst.

I need to talk to you
about the pants.

Well, come closer, then.
No, thanks.

I don't want to get contaminated
by your buffoonery.

What's wrong with my pants?

Dude, it looks like a gnome is
carrying you on his shoulders.

Look who's talking.
Have you seen your sandals?

You look like you're about
to walk on water.

Well, you look like
you prolapsed

your whole digestive system!

You look like
a Visigoth tourist.

You look like you're wearing
the back end of a horse costume!

Yeah, well, you look like this!

Huh?

Pbht.

Hey, dude,
only one guy can judge me.

Leslie!

If there was a fashion police,

he'd be the town's sheriff,

only more fabulous.

Are you pointing at that broken
accordion on a pile of trash?

Sorry. It's hard to tell
what's what

since his high-fashion phase.

♪ Uh, head sh*t, body sh*t

♪ Paparazzi, twist and bop

♪ Head sh*t, body sh*t

♪ Looking nasty,
turn and smile ♪

♪ Catwalk beauty,
catwalk beauty ♪

♪ Beauty, fashion

Yeah, fair enough.
Where is he, though?

Come to think of it,
I haven't seen him in weeks.

Wait, what is that?!

Hmm. Petals.

It's a clue.

What do you mean?

Think about it...
What has petals? Flowers.

What is made of flour?
Bread.

Who eats bread?
Everyone...

apart from people
who can't eat gluten.

Who doesn't eat gluten?
People on a made-up diet.

What kind of people are usually
on fad diets? Drama queens.

Who are usually drama queens?
Actors.

And what do actors do
in real life?

They work as waiters
in the food industry.

And where do they lie about not
working in the food industry?

In their dressing rooms.

Huh!
You were right!

You said that like
it's a surprise.

Hey, dude,
could you help us decide on

which of us looks worse?

Question answered.

Dude, what in
the ever-loving what

happened to your face?!

My beauty... it's fading.

It's not that bad.
I mean, if I just squint...

Wait, no.
That's still pretty bad.

But if I just...

No, that's... that's
not great, either.

But if I just...

See, that's better!

Look, don't worry.

True beauty is found on the
inside... your personality.

Good-looking people
don't need a personality!

Personalities were invented
by ugly people

to make up for what
they lack on the outside!

But you can't spell "beautiful"
without "B-U."

And you can't spell "hideous"
without "hide",

which is what I'm doing!

Don't worry. We'll help you
get pretty again.

Thank you.

Hmpf!

Sorry.
It's just...

your face.

Let's start with accessories.

Hopefully it will distract
from the... everything.

Is that why you carry Darwin
everywhere you go?

Mm-mm!

You know, when you're pretty
and you say something mean,

people think you're sassy.

But with a face like that,
people think you're Sasquatch.

Now, come on, accessorize.

Ugh. It looks like the ugly tree
and the Christmas tree

had a baby and let him dress
himself for school.

So, yeah, definitely
an improvement.

Look, he's speechless!

Wow! He fainted
from happiness!

And now he's having spasms
of satisfaction!

Uh...

Leslie, is something wrong?

I can't photosynthesize.

Is that when you store all your
photos in a cloud or the...

I can't breathe!

Quick, give him CPR!

O-Oh, okay.
Oh, oh.

I can't.
He's so ugly.

Mmph!

Ugh!

Who told you

to stop!

No, no, no.
No!

Gumball: Okay,
so you know about

the cheerleader effect, right?

What's that? It's
an optical mind trick.

When girls hang out in groups,
they look prettier.

Go, Elmore, go!

Come on, let's try it.

Hey, Penny!

Yeah?

How do we look?

Ah. You're going for
the cheerleader effect, right?

Yes. Sorry, but for
boys, it's the opposite.

We call it the frat-guy effect.

Makes you guys look like
medieval pillaging creeps.

But would you still love me
if I looked like this?

Yeah, you'd still be
the shining sun of my life.

Aww!

Impossible to live without...

but it'd really hurt my eyes
to look at you directly.

What about now?
Mwah. Much better.

What about my face?

Well, it's like, you know
when a movie comes out

and you're just like, "The
sequel can't possibly be worse,"

then it is?

Well, it's like the th movie.

Huah!
Aah!

How is that possible?

You look even uglier than
a second ago!

You're right.
His condition's deteriorating.

Maybe you can try and...
own it?

What do you mean?

You know,
like our Grandpa Louie.

He never lets his age get in
the way of stripping off

for his life-drawing classes.

And he doesn't care when
the teacher body-shames him

by saying, "There's
no need to get naked

when you're the one
doing the drawing."

He's right.

If you've got it, flaunt it.

Hmm.

You may have flaunted it
too much.

Oh, my gosh!
My eyes! My eyes!

Hmm. What's that
you're using?

A moisturizer.

It might help lift

the asymmetrical
drooping side of your face.

I guess we'll just have to wait
for the opposite side

to collapse instead.

Hmm.
What's in it?

Uh... aloe vera?

Aloe vera?!
Are you insane?!

What?! Why?!
It's made of cactus!

That's like rubbing the blended
remains of your cousins

on your face!

None of that stuff
is made for use on plants!

Yet.

Gentlemen, it's time
for science.

Science.

Eureka!

What?
Nothing.

Normally when people do all that
stuff and shout "eureka",

they get the answer.

I just thought that was
the formula for science.

What are you doing?!

Eating this gardening book
to absorb its knowledge.

Agh! Give me that!

You give me that!

Wait, what were you
gonna do with it? Read it!

Yeah, well, that's exactly what
I was gonna do, so pbht!

Reading, reading,
reading, reading.

Got it!
You need more sun.

Hmm.

Hmmmmm.

Whuuuuh!

Wait, maybe the fire will
improve his face.

Hmm, hmm.

Oh! It says here
you might need more water.

Ooh!

Maybe a little more?

How do I look?

Like a bullfrog that got
a face transplant

from a grilled cheese sandwich?

Oh. It says here that the
problem might be caused

by a parasite.

Wait!

I'm beautiful.

Wait!

I'm more beautiful
than I've ever been!

Look at me, world,
and gag on my eleganza!

It doesn't matter.
We still love you.

I don't care if you... Oh!
Nngh!

I don't care about
the people who love me!

I've already got their
validation!

It's the people who don't
love me I need to impress!

Wait a second.

Dude, I've got it!
You're just wilting!

It's completely normal!
Really?

Yeah, and there's
a very simple solution.

What is it?!
Ahh?

Move!

Leave me alone!

Dude, take it easy!
It doesn't have to be an ordeal!

Yeah, think about like a nice,
relaxing bit of gardening!

Hello, and welcome to
"Gardening Thyme."

Today's episode is about
the seasonal decapitation

of flowers.

Or as we gardeners call it

dead-heading.

You people are insane!

Aah!

Come on, you stup...

It won't start
unless it's in "park."

Hmm?

It won't start
unless it's in "park."

Oh. Thanks.

I'm not a monster!
I just look like one!

You see, Darwin,
it is important to choose

the right tools for the job.

Why not a chainsaw?

Slow down there.

We don't want to make a mess.

What we need is
a clean cut to the stem.

Help, help, help!

Sir, please help!

Please, please!

Ma'am, please help!
There are these kids who...

Meh, meh, meh.

Please! Please!
Leave me alone!

Ugh.

What are these?

Make sure you don't waste
the flower heads

and add them to
the compost heap.

Very good point, Gumball.

In time, their rotten remains
will be eaten

and excreted by worms.

The resulting matter can be used
to feed other plants.

The police!
I need to call the police!

Argh!
No network?

Come on, come on!

They're coming.

Gumball and Darwin:
Leslie, where are you?

Leslie?

Leslie, stop being such
a drama queen

and listen to us for a second.

Since when is being
scared of decapitation

considered overdramatic?!

We're doing this for
your own good, man.

Think about your face.
It will just continue rotting.

Wait. So you're saying it's
better to leave a hot memory

than cold compost.

I agree. Do it.

What? No, no.
Your head will regrow.

Ah. All right, then.

Ugh.

And that concludes our episode.

And when will we see our pretty
new flower grow, Gumball?

When spring comes back
in about six months.