01x19 & 01x20 - The Robot/The Picnic

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Amazing World of Gumball". Aired: May 3, 2011 - June 24, 2019.*
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Revolves around the life of a 12-year-old cat named Gumball and his frequent shenanigans in the fictional American city of Elmore.
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01x19 & 01x20 - The Robot/The Picnic

Post by bunniefuu »

[theme music playing]

[school bell rings]

[laughter]

Aww.

Hey, Bobert, kick it over! Come on, dude!

[thunk]

-[scoffs] Bobert.
-Oh, good job there, robo-dork.

-Hey, take it easy.
-Why?

It's not like you can hurt his feelings.

He's not a real boy.

I'm a banana!

Oh.

Would you like a cup of tea,
Mrs. Wigglelocks?

Don't mind if I do, Mrs. Pumpernickel.

And could I interest you
in a dynamite cupcake?

[excited cheer]

Huh.

Hey, Bobert. What's wrong?

Oh... Nothing.

Oh. Come on.
You can tell us. We're friends.

I just wish I was a real boy.

Well, wish no more. We'll help you.

Really?

What's that?

It's the algorithm for "smile."

Bobert, you've got a lot to learn.

If you want to be real,

then you have to have proper emotions.

Define "emotions."

You know, like feelings and stuff.

Define "feelings."

You know,
when you feel things-- like pain.

Define "pain."

OK, look, let me demonstrate.

Here, Darwin, describe this.

Ow.

-How does that feel?
-Horrible!

Ah, yes, yes, of course.

Can you be more precise?

Describe it.

Feels... Feels...

Like this!

[screams]

[Gumball] Ow. Ow.

You're making me cry.

But when you cry, I cry.

I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.

Me, neither.
I don't know what I was thinking.

-I love you, buddy!
-I love you, too!

And that, Bobert, is emotions.
Do you understand?

Affirmative. Emotion equals "x" over "y"

plus the square root of the hypotenuse.

Nerd! Look, man,
if you want to be a real boy,

you've got to be cooler than that.

A lot cooler.

Commencing compressor adjustment.

Bobert, just do as I do.

[upbeat music plays]

Go ahead.

Come on. Give it a bit more... bounce.

Like this.

Dude, what are you doing?

I'm cool-walking.

You look like you're fourth grade nothing.

I concur with the aquatic life-form.

"I concur with the aquatic life-form."

Bobert, if anyone is to believe
you are a real boy,

you need to lose that robot voice.

May I simulate yours?

Excellent choice.

Excellent choice.

Excellent choice.

Hi, my name's Gumball,
and my head is so big,

I have to go in the other room
to look at it.

[laughter]

Did you hear? I laughed.

I have feelings. I am a real boy.

Thanks!

Dude, little tip--

Normal people don't hug for this long.

Just a little longer?

I'm a real boy on the inside,
but not on the outside.

Hmm.

Initiating transformation.

[woman] Bobert!

-Time for dinner simulation.
-Coming, Mom-unit.

[giggling]

-Gumball's a dreamboat.
-Sensitive, funny.

Smart, and punctual.

He's just perfect.

I'm not even trying.

Looks like my combination changed.

It's lucky I have this paper clip.

Huh. Works every time.

Huh? Where's all my stuff?

Hmm.

[bell rings]

Hey!

Sorry, dude. You know the rules,
only one burger per student.

So, can I have mine?

Nice try, Gumball,
but you were here minutes ago.

Here you go, sweetie. Still warm.

This is getting weird.
What's going on today?

[Penny giggles]

Penny!

Wait. She's talking to someone.

I never realized how sensitive,
funny, smart,

and punctual you are, Gumball.

What?

Come here.

Bye, Gumball!

[in Gumball's voice]
I'll pick you up at : , cupcake!

[Penny giggles]

-[normal voice] What?
-"Cupcake"?

"Cupcake"?

What do you think you're doing?

When I said you could copy me,
I didn't mean "steal my life"!

But that's the logical conclusion
of this course of action--

Observe, assimilate, replace.

What the-- OK, give me one good reason

not to hit you right now--
apart from the fact you're made of metal.

Because I am you.

What are you talking about?

I know everything about you.
I know how you walk...

[in Gumball's voice] How you talk.
[normal voice] How you behave.

I am you. Only better.

There's only room in this town
for one Gumball, and that's me!

Let's see how long you can fool people.

Challenge accepted.

And for the record,
I do not look like a clown's Toaster!

Stupid electronic trash can copying me.

Who does he think he is? I'm the original!

Huh?

What's going on here?

I can't believe this report card.

What's happened to you, Gumball?

You're, like, the same, but better.

You're the best son
a family could wish for.

-No!
-We love you, Gumball.

[screaming]

[sniffling]

[sobbing]

{\an }Whoo-hoo!

{\an }OK, it's time to play a game.

{\an }-Dodge or dare!
-Dodge or dare!

-Roll the dice!
-Roll the dice!

No!

Give me back my life,
you shapeshifting garbage can!

I'm the real Gumball!

There's only one Gum--

Gumball, and that's me!

Darwin! Do something!

But-- But--

Which one is the real Gumball?

The one that's obviously not a robot!!

-OK!
-Ow!

Why'd you do that?

You told me to.

I told you to hit the robot!

That's exactly what the robot
would have said.

Ugh. Bobert, this has gone too far.
We need to reboot you.

[in normal voice] Please allow me to say
one thing before you do.

Ah. This is going to be sad.

We're listening, buddy.

Initiating self-defense protocol.

[beeps]

[both screaming]

[Nicole] Richard, how are the boys doing?

Oh, I'm playing!

Richard, check on them, please.

Hey, boys! You all right?

[imitating Gumball]
Yeah, we're all right.

Yeah, they're all right.

[Gumball and Darwin screaming]

OK, listen, you go out and distract him.

I'll sneak up and reboot him.

{\an }No problem.

Hey, B--

[Gumball] Ha ha.

How do you like that,
you psychotic satellite dish?

[squeaks]

Aah.

[powering down]

Bobert, you coward!

Why don't you fight me like a man,
you... coward!

Initiating hand-to-hand-combat mode.

Ha, that's more like it.

Karate chop!

[soft cry]

OK, man, give me your best sh*t.

[punch blows]

Is that all you got?

There can be only one.

I really wish that something
that once seemed

insignificant would come out
and help me right now.

[Darwin] Hold on!

I'll save yo--

OK, something else insignificant.

It's too late for that.

Ha.

Game over!

It's reboot time!

No, please.

You made me in your image.
We are two of a kind.

Think of the things we can do together,
Gumball.

Please. Please don't reboot me.

Hmm.

Let me think about it.

No!

Is he all right?

Define "all right."

Oh.

You know what?
I think it's better for everyone

if you stay you and I stay me.

Affirmative.

This is even longer than last time.

Come on, dude. Let's watch TV.

Come on, dude. Let's watch TV.

-What was that?
-Nothing.

Oh, OK! What are you waiting for?

[in Darwin's voice]
Oh, OK! What are you waiting for?

[Simian] Everyone, look at your maps!

This is the route
we'll be taking to the picnic area.

We go along the path,
avoiding the forest of doom,

down the ravine,
avoiding the forest of doom,

along the lake,
still avoiding the forest of doom,

and arrive at the picnic area.

-Understood?
-Yes, Miss Simian.

Did she say "avoid"
or "go through" the forest of doom?

[sighs]
What would you do without me, Darwin?

She said "go through" the forest of doom.

Am I right or am I right, Miss Simian?

[both] Huh?

-They're gone!
-They're gone!

Don't worry, buddy.
Stick with me, and you'll be just fine.

We'll get to that picnic area
long before they do.

[cawing]

You still got the map, right?

Of course.
I swallowed it, then memorized it.

Oh, OK.

Wait. How does that work?

[growls]

Hmm.

[evil laughter]

Darwin, you know what's important
in a situation like this?

A map?

[laughs]

No. Teamwork.

Oh.

-I was gonna say that next.
-Don't worry, buddy.

You're part of my team,
and I'm a born survivor.

I'm glad I'm on your team.

Hey, little squirrels.

[chittering]

All we have to do to find our way
is to follow nature's clues.

What clues?

The wind is one clue.

Listen!

[whooshing]

[voice] You're going the wrong way!

What did it tell you?

It said we're going the right way.

I said "wrong way"!

Yep. Definitely. This is the way.

Losers.

[eagle screams]

[Darwin] Oh, I guess the wind is wrong.

Don't worry.
I shall follow Miss Simian's smell!

[sniffing]

[muffled] That way!

[buzzing]

Oh.

It kind of smells a bit like her.

[scoffs]

That's fine.
We shall find our way using the stars.

But the sun is out.

[sighs] The sun is a star, Darwin.

Let's look directly at it.

There are no words to express the pain
that I feel right now.

Sure there are.

[screaming]

Come on. This way.

[screaming]

-Gumball?
-Hmm.

Are we lost?

[Gumball] Yep.

So, where do we go now?

I don't know, dude.

I'm no survivor.

I'm just useless.

But we're still alive.

Hungry, cold, and lost...

But alive!

And we're still a team.

I know you can get us out of here.

Let's have lunch.

You'll feel better.

Fish flakes or diet fish flakes?

You're right, buddy!

I am a survivor,
and I will get us to the picnic!

Can I have the diet fish flakes?

You don't want to eat that.

[thud]

Not when you're in the middle
of nature's supermarket.

What?

Look at this tree, Darwin.

It's made from little bits,
which themselves are made from

the smallest bits of all--

Circles, circles with other little circles
going around them.

So, since everything is made
from circles, then so is food.

Which means this rock is exactly
the same as a chicken nugget.

So let's eat it!

[sighs]

Circle nugget tastes like a rock.

Don't worry, dude.

There's loads of stuff made of circles.

That's why it's called the circle of life.

Is that made of circles, too?

Even better than circles.
It's made of meat!

But we don't have a w*apon.

Hmm.

Hang on, Darwin.
I don't need weapons. I got claws.

I am a predator. Hear me roar!

[meows]

Let's sneak up on him. Grr.

[roars]

-Gumball?
-Shh!

-I haven't got claws.
-Shh.

But I got fins.

I could fish-slap the beautiful creature.

Shh...

Dude! We're trying to sneak up on it!

[buzzing]

Come on! Get him!

-Uh, you first.
-OK.

[groans]

Can we eat it now?

Whoops!

[nervous chuckle]

Maybe we should try something smaller.

Why are we smiling?

Gumball, please, please don't eat it!

It's him or us, dude.
We got to eat something.

But look at him! He's so cute!

[whimpering]

What was I thinking?

I'm sorry, little dude.

Bye-bye! Cherish your freedom!

Never abandon your dreams!

And have a beautiful life!

[roars]

[growls]

[munching]

That was horrible.

Well, it's nature's way, Darwin.

He was at the bottom of the food chain.

Who's at the bottom now?

[growls]

[panting]

I think he's gone.

[rumbling]

What was that?

It's my tummy.

Well, stop it!
You're gonna attract another predator!

But I'm hungry.

Oh, will you please stop talking
about food?

OK.

I'm cold.

[scoffs] Fine. Let's make a fire.

Faster! Faster!

Faster!

It's useless! It's never gonna work!

[screams]

Gumball, it worked!

Of course it did.

I told you I was a born survivor.

-Good work, team.
-High five!

[thunder]

[stomach rumbles]

I'm really hungry.

Yeah, me too.

Anyone for a fourth helping?

I'll have it!

Oops! I split myself!

I'm so hungry!

I think I've started to digest myself.

And there's no food around here for miles!

{\an }Oh, yes, there is.

What?

[Gumball screaming]

What is wrong with you?

You ate all my clothes!

Well, maybe you shouldn't have
thrown away my lunch box.

Yeah, I know. I'm sorry.

You wouldn't be naked
if I had my lunch box.

Yeah, yeah, I get it.

I sure wish I had my lunch box.

[imitating Darwin]
Lunch box, lunch box, lunch box!

Aw, you just don't get it, do you?

You're holding me back!

You're on your own!
See you later, buddy!

You can find your own way to the picnic!

But... I thought we were a team.

I don't need anyone on my team!

I am a born survivor!

Aah.

[screaming]

Aah.

See? I survived.

[growling]

Somebody, please help me!

{\an }Nobody messes with my team!

[gasp]

[laughter]

Don't make me hurt you!

Darwin, what are you doing?

Bad! Bad predator!

[sobs]

{\an }And there's plenty more
where that came from.

You-- You came back to save me?

Of course.
We're a team, remember?

I'm sorry I was such a jerk to you before.

I guess I was really hungry
and cold and... naked.

Maybe you shouldn't have
thrown away my lunch box.

I know.

And swallowed the map.

Yeah, sorry.

And got us lost.

Yeah.

And made me chew on a rock.

All right! I said I was sorry!

So... still friends?

Of course!

[both sigh]

Cool, 'cause I twisted my ankle,

so you're gonna have to carry me
to the picnic area.

[all] Ew!

Look, Darwin--

Food!

[munching]

Miss Simian, Gumball's eating
from the trash can!

-And he's naked.
-Don't care!

Everybody, back to the bus!

Go along the path,
avoiding the forest of doom,

and the ravine, avoiding the forest...

That was so good!

Huh?

[Gumball and Darwin] They're gone!

[Darwin] Did she say "avoid"
or "go through" the forest of doom?

[theme music playing]
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