01x21 & 01x22 - The g*ons/The Secret

[bunniefuu]

[theme music plays]

[zipper opens]

[Gumball] Get off my lawn, Watterson!

[Robert] Butt why, Mr. Robinson?

[Darwin] Don't be so cheeky!

Come on, sweetie.
One puzzle, a thousand pieces of fun.

Mom, can we do something,
you know, not boring?

Oh, you mean like the , -piece puzzle?

No, something more like that.

I'm going to get to the bottom of this.

[Richard] Bottom!

Anais, I think you're a bit
too intelligent for that kind of behavior.

Well, if being intelligent means "no fun,"

then I don't want to be
intelligent anymore.

By the way, those go there.

Nice.

Gumball, can I speak to you?

My eyes are up here.

How come you guys
never ask me to play with you?

Well... [fogging lens]

We thought you liked puzzles.

Yeah, puzzles are OK.

But I'd like to join you
and be dumb for a change, just for a day.

For a day, huh?

[both] Mmm.

I think we should give her a chance.

-OK, then.
-Yay!

Here's a game we like to play.

It's called, "I'm The President."

What are the rules?

Well, I'm the President,
and you have to do what I say.

Yes, sir, Mr. President, sir!

Now, go and get the stinkiest thing
you can find in the house.

Yes, sir, Mr. President, sir!

[door opens]

-I'm not doing that.
-[door closes]

You have to. I'm the President!

But the, b--

Why?

Mr. President, sir,
I found one of Mr. Dad's socks.

-Is it sweaty?
-Yes, sir!

It's scratchy on the outside
and moldy on the inside,

-Just the way you like it, sir!
-Good job, soldier.

This shall be our flag.

And in Dumb Land, what's the motto?

[both] Dumbus kissus flaggus!

[both groaning]

This is so dumb.

That's the point.

I just don't get it.

[Nicole] Anais, look, honey.

Porcupine Parade, , pieces!

[whispering] Please teach me.

-OK, now. Notepad ready?
-Yep!

The first rule of dumb,
is that dumb people don't take notes.

Don't... take... notes.

-My car!
-[alarm blaring]

Now, if you want to be dumb,
you've got to speak dumb.

Darwin and me will demonstrate.

-Dumb.
-Dumb.

-Dumb, dumb, dumb.
-Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.

Now you try it.

Dumb, dumb, dumb?

-What?
-It's just what you said is really rude.

Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Well, come on. How do I speak dumb?

Here's a little song that might help you.

[clears throat]

♪ Dumb, dumb, dumb ♪

♪ Dumb, dumb, dumb ♪

♪ D-d-dumb, dumb, dumb ♪

♪ Dumb! D-d-dumb, dumb! ♪

♪ Dumbiner, dumbiner, dumbiner
Dumbiner, dumbiner, dumbiner ♪

♪ Dumb! ♪

[both panting]

Nope. I don't get it.

OK, now, Anais,
I want you to make a sandwich

but like a dumb person would.

[flatulence sound]

-What?
-Oh, nothing.

It's just smart people
always struggle with that one.

How do you do it, then?

Watch and learn.

[haughty laughter]

Nope. Don't get it.

Look, it's not complicated.

All you need to do is think dumb.

Darwin, if you please.

[straining]

Take a look.

I'm never going to get this.

Oh, don't feel bad.

It takes years of dedication
to think dumb like we do.

Oh, come on. You guys don't think dumb.

You don't think at all.

That's it.

That's it!
You literally don't think at all!

Mm-hmm.

For example, most people would think twice
about putting a hot chili in their mouth.

But because you didn't think even once...

you've already done it. I finally get it!

I know how to be dumb!

Yay!

Anybody want to play fruitball?

I do! I do!

Really?

I thought she liked puzzles.

Not anymore.

I'm now fluent in the beautiful art
of dumbness.

OK, then. She's in!

[all] Let's play fruitball!

You ready, Dad?

[motorboating]

Yep!

-[Anais, Darwin] Yeah!
-[Gumball] Woohoo!

[cheering and laughter]

[Anais sighs] Thanks, Gumball.
I had a great day.

[Gumball yawns] Me too.

[switch clicks]

What shall we do today, guys?

Guys?

[Darwin chuckling]

Hey, what are you doing?

We're toe-wrestling Dad.

This little piggy's going down!

I'm gonna toe-nail you to the floor!

Cool! Can I join in?

Mr. Dad's only got two feet,
and they're kind of taken.

That's OK. I can be the referee.

We already have one.

Now, I want a good, clean fight.

I'll be the spectators, then.

Yeah, we kind of have those as well.

-[Darwin] Boo!
-[laughter]

All right, fine.
I'll just go and have some breakfast.

What? We didn't hear you!
We're having too much fun!

-[door opens]
-[laughter continues]

[Anais] Dumbus kissus flaggus!

Yes, Madam President!

I can't believe it.

I showed her how to be dumb,
and now she's totally stealing Dad.

I'm sure they'll include you
in a minute, honey.

Wow! This couch is really perfect
for three people.

Yeah, if we had a fourth person,
it would be kinda cramped.

-[Gumball groans]
-OK, well...

How about you play with me?

Yeah, all right. See how she likes it
if I steal Mom from her.

Ooh, we're gonna have lots of fun!

Come on, honey. Just one piece left.

-You know what, Mom?
-Yes, sweetheart?

I don't think this is gonna work out.

Oh, I'm so glad you said that.
Let's agree to never do this again.

Done.

So, I'm gonna go this way.

Sure.

Oh!

Oh, sorry.

Um, I'll go that way.

Earthquake!

Do it again! Do it again!

Earthquake!

She thinks she's so dumb.

Well, I'll show her
who's the dumbest in the whole town!

Then Dad will be mine again!

[evil laughter]

-Gumball?
-Yes?

Can you tell us why we're here now?

You're here to race.

As you can see,
I gathered the stupidest people in town.

Word.

Everyone has to wear a blindfold
and run as fast as they can.

The person who gets the furthest
is officially the dumbest.

Dad, you'll be the referee.

OK, guys! I want a good, clean race!

Anyone opening their eyes is disqualified!

On your mark! Get set!

Wait for it... Go!

[groans] I can't resist
the call of dumbness!

[laughter]

[all laughing]

You might have won Dad, sis,
but I'm not gonna let you win this!

What do you mean, "Won Dad"?

I'm winning! I'm winning!

I know I'm winning!

-Who's the dumbest? Who's the dumbest?
-[laughter]

[indistinct chatter]

Mama?

[screaming]

I'm a banana split. [laughs]

[pained laughter] It hurts.

[laughter and gurgling]

[quacking]

Who's the dumbest? Who's the dumbest?

Who's the dumbest? [groans]

I'm OK. [groans]

Oh, Karen, this is just the perfect day.
[nervous chuckle]

I was wondering...

Yes, Laurence?

Will you marry me?

This is happening so fast. I'm--

I'm not saying no.
Definitely not saying no.

But I need to think about this.

[distant screaming]

[panting]

You've taken my place at home,
and I'm taking it back!

Are you kidding, Gumball?

I just wanted to be dumb for a day.

No one could be dumber than you.

Wow.

That's a really nice thing to say.

I kind of feel awkward now.

Should we just hug?

Gosh, yeah, OK.

Awww!

[horns blaring]

-Whoa! That was close.
-I think we've out-dumbed ourselves.

Let's go home.

[Gumball, Anais] Ow, ow, ow!

Uh? Oh, the eyes! I blew it!

[distant screaming]

[groaning]

[sighs]

Hello.

I'm Dr. Butt,
and I'm going to take your temperature.

Dad, I can't play Butt Puppet right now.

Uh! I was only trying to help.

[sighs] This is all your fault, Richard.

Well, as referee,
I took every precaution I could.

And six kids ended up in the hospital!

Four. Rocky and me are grown-ups.

Word.

And you, Gumball Watterson,
that was a very dumb thing to do.

Aww! Thanks.

[resigned sigh] And as for you,
young lady, I expected more.

I know, Mom.
I don't think I want to be dumb anymore.

Because it hurts so bad!

And all this because you guys
wanted to be my favorite,

when we all know, in fact,
that Darwin is my favorite.

Fish! My favorite fish!

Wait a minute.

[all] Where is Darwin?

Did I win yet? Did I win yet?
Did I win yet?

Ow!

-[frantic banging on the door]
-[Gumball] Help!

[Darwin] We can't get out!

[Gumball] Please help! We're locked in!

Please let us out!

[sighs] It's no use, Darwin.
We're gonna be stuck in here forever.

That's the last time
I come in here to whistle for you.

But if you don't whistle, I can't go.

[sighs] I never thought it would end
like this, stuck in a bathroom forever.

At least we've had some pretty good times.

And some crummy ones, too.

Look, Darwin, if we don't get out of here,
there's something I need to tell you.

[gasps]

Remember that time they found
a creepy picture in your schoolbook

and you said you didn't do it?

Well... That was me.

What? I had to go to counseling for that!

I lost my whole summer!

-I'm sorry, dude.
-Mr. Small put me in an isolation t*nk!

-Well, let's not dwell on the past.
-[groans]

[ding]

Gumball? There's something
I haven't told you, too.

And it's probably gonna shock you.

What? Is it really bad or something?

It's pretty bad, yeah.

Last week...

[keys rattling]

Oh, man. I'm so glad it's you.

I thought this place was haunted
by a couple of screaming girls.

[both] We're saved!

How long have we been here?

About three minutes.

Oh, wait, what were you gonna
say back there, by the way?

Huh?

You were gonna say something, remember?

Oh! Don't worry about that now.

We're free.

[videogame sounds]

[male automated voice] Fight!

[grunting]

I love this game. It's so much fun.

Yep.

Hey, you know what else was fun?

When we were stuck in the bathroom
and you were gonna tell me that secret.

Yeah, that was fun.

Just out of curiosity,
what was that little secret?

It's better you don't know.

Sure, but... I told you mine.

Therefore, I think it's fair
you tell me yours.

Nah! Let's just play instead.

Yeah. Let's just play.

[Gumball] Look at him standing there,
knowing the secret.

I'll get it out of him,
if it's the last thing I do.

Wow. You're pretty good at this.

End it!

Gumball wins!

[groaning]

[continued whacking and groaning]

There you go, old pal.

What's the occasion?

Can't a guy just make a meal
for his best buddy?

This hasn't got anything to do
with the secret, has it?

Secret? No. What secret?

Hmm...

You're giving me this food
so I'll tell you the secret, aren't you?

Am I?

Aren't you?

[breathing heavily]

Did you do something to this food?

I don't know.

Did I?

[exclaiming]

[shrieking] Glass of water!
Glass of water please!

Glass of water!

I'm sorry? Excuse me?

[continues gasping]

Tap's a little tight, eh?

Looks like we're all out of drinks.

Oh, wait. What's this?

You want it?

[unintelligible screaming]

What's the secret?

Oh, well.

[thuds]

-[thuds]
-[metals clank]

[strained groaning]

[whimpering]

Aw, man.

Thanks, Gumball!

[sighs] You're welcome.

[phone ringing]

Uh, hello.
Is Darwin Watterson there, please?

Is this a telemarketer?

Uh, no. It's a recorded message.

Oh, OK.

Darwin! Telephone!

-Hello?
-Congratulations.

You have been selected
to win a special prize.

Cool!

Just answer this one question correctly.

When you were locked in the bathroom,
what were you going to tell Gumball?

Oh! Oh! I know this one! I know this one!

I'm gonna win a competition, Mr. Dad!

Wow! What's the prize?

I don't know. What's the prize?

It's... vouchers for a beauty spa.

It's spa vouchers.

At last, a manicure!

[phone beeping]

[automated female voice] Please insert
cents to continue your call.

[stuttering] Come on!

Give me your answer!

Ask them if they can do a foot massage,
and will they do my roots?

-Can you do a foot massage and--
-Give me the answer!

OK.

-The answer is--
-[rapid beeping]

[call disconnects]

No!

No! No!

[hyperventilating]

[screaming]

[Gumball]
I've got to find out that secret.

Hey, maybe I should try reading his mind.

[grunting]

Are you trying to read my mind?

I don't know.
Were you thinking my face really hurts?

-No.
-Then I wasn't.

[crying]

What's the matter, little shrimp?

I'm sad because my best friend
won't tell me his secret.

Sometimes even best friends
have to have secrets.

Do you have secrets?

Only one.

Well, maybe if you tell me that,
I would feel less sad.

-But I can't tell you.
-Please, Darwin?

Please tell me your secret.

[all] Tell us your secret, Darwin.

Tell me your secret, Darwin.

-What are you?
-I'm a catfish.

But don't catfish live in freshwater,
like rivers and streams?

Dude, it's a dream.
I mean, you're sweating underwater.

-Now tell me your secret!
-[Gumball] Tell me your secret!

Tell me your--

-Hey, Darwin.
-What are you doing?

Just helping you sleep.

See?

Darwin, just tell me your secret.

-No.
-What secret?

You know.

Oh! That secret.

-[snorty laughter]
-What? You know, too?

Come on, Anais, I'm your big brother.
Please, please, please tell me.

Sorry, Gumball, but I won't.
It's for your own good.

Fine. If that's the way you want to play,
I'll just have to get it out of you.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Tell me. Tell me. Tell me.
I know you're gonna tell me.

You might as well tell me now.
Tell me now.

Tell me now. Tell me now. Tell me now.
You know I'm gonna break you, sis.

You might as well tell me now.
You're gonna break.

This is gonna break you. Tell me now.

Tell me now. Tell me now. Tell me now.
Come on, Anais. Come on, Anais.

Tell me now. Tell me now.
Put it down. Lay it down.

-Fess it up.
-You do that one more time...

Hey. I've been chatting with Anais,
and she told me everything,

-so it's OK to talk about it now.
-She didn't, did she?

No. Look, Gumball,
when we were in the bathroom,

we thought it was gonna be the end.

So unless we're in that situation again,
I don't think I can ever tell you.

-That's it!
-What?

What? What are you talking about what?

There locked in. Now tell me your secret.

Fine. But don't go crying about it.

You know last week when
you made me that sandwich and I said

-it was great?
-Huh-huh. Huh-huh.

Well...

It was just good!

What? Is that it?

I knew you'd react like this.

I've spent all this time
trying to get it out of you,

and that was it? A sandwich?

I'm so sorry, Gumball.

Look, let's just get out of here.

Come on.

-Come on!
-Darwin, I locked it.

-Help!
-We're in the bathroom!

...French module one,

Peter Pineapple is having a blast
at the discotheque.

[speaking French]

Oh, man. What have I done?

How are we gonna get out of here now?

Let's swim out through the toilet!

Why?

[flushing]

[speaks French]

Eh!

[both screaming]

-Now what?
-Don't worry.

We'll be perfectly fine as long
as the system don't get flushed out.

[both gasping]

I can't believe we're in this mess
because of you!

Me? I said no,
but you forced me to tell you!

Why would anyone hold on
to such a trivial piece of information?

[Darwin]
You're the one who wanted to know.

[Gumball]
That's because you said it was really bad!

I mean, you used the wrong adjective
to describe a sandwich.

"Good", "Great", what's the difference?

Well, if it was such a big nothing,
why don't you get over it?

I am over it!

But if I stop shouting,
it'll look like I've lost the argument!

All I'm saying is, I'm very sorry,
please forgive me, and I love you!

[Darwin] I love you, too!

Cool.

Are we a bottle of water?

What? Does this mean the water
we drink starts off in the toilet?

What do you think?
Just falls out of the sky or somethin'?

Sir, do you know the way
to the Watterson house?

Go back the way you came, and this time,
take a left at the school pipe.

[Richard humming a tune]

[screams]

-Did I eat you?
-No.

-We've been lost in the sewers.
-Oh, thank goodness.

[resumes humming]

-Where's Gumball?
-He's taking a shower.

So, did you tell him the secret?

No. He must never know
that we accidentally uploaded that clip.

[both snickering]

Check this out.

[music plays]

[theme music playing]