04x23 & 04x24 - The Advice/The Signal

[bunniefuu]

[ Upbeat music plays ]

♪

[ School bell rings ]

[ Distant wailing ]

Can you hear that?
What?

Yeah.

It sounds like the sea,
but more purple.

What? No.
You're right.

It's more like
the sound of christmas,

But, like,
in a desert.

What does that
even mean?!

Yeah, it's more like the sound
of a cellphone

[ Goofy voice ]
dropping into an ice cream cake.

[ Mimicking goofy voice ]
ohhh!

Darwin watterson
is making a joke.

'Cause it clearly sounds
more like a --

[ Normal voice ] yeah, we should
probably just see what it is.

[ Wailing ]

What's wrong,
mr. Small?

Oh, will this rain
never end?

I don't think
that's rain.

[ Squeak! ]

I meant the metaphorical rain
in my soul.

[ Sighs ]
I just realized

There is nothing fulfilling
about being a teacher.

Oh, come on.
I'm sure there's lots to like.

Hey, coach!

What's your favorite thing
about teaching?

Watching the minutes tick by
until the day I can retire.

Uh, miss simian?

For me, it's the excited
pitter-patter of little feet...

Leaving my classroom!

Principal brown?

Free coffee!
[ Panting ]

What could possibly have made
you all feel like that?

All: children!

You see?
I came here to shape minds,

Challenge perceptions,
and be remembered as

The single greatest teacher
that ever lived.

Is that
too much to ask?

Yes.
I mean maybe.

I mean [sighs]
whatever darwin wants me to say.

I don't want us
to be the ones

To crush
this poor man's spirit.
[ Sighs ]

When I first came
to elmore junior high,

I wanted to inspire
troubled kids

From difficult
backgrounds.

I don't suppose
either of you

Are in an illegal
street g*ng.

He's in the synchronized
swimming team.

Does that count?
[ Sighs ]

[ Wailing ]

[ Thud ]

[ Mumbling ]
I dunno.

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

Hmm?
Uh.

Uhhh...

Eh.

Umm...

What the...? I mean,
ask him to inspire us.

Couldn't you have just said that
in the first place?

Both:
please, sir, inspire us.

Whoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!

Oh, I have so much
advice for you.

Nobody ever used to
listen to me,

So I made
these motivational quotes

You get
on the internet. Look!

Gumball: okay.
[ Mouse clicks ]

Right. Do you have any, like,
um, beginners advice?

Sort of...simpler, more kind of
obvious ones that...

Make sense?

Hmm.

[ Inhales deeply ]

Follow your dreams.

Darwin, why are we
doing this again?

[ Tsks ] in the dream, the naked
leprechaun spoke backwards.

[ Sighs ] again this doing we
are why, darwin?

I'm following my dream.

Last night, I dreamed
that I was in this classroom,

And there was a naked leprechaun
talking backwards.

Humiliating is this.

And I was wearing shoes
made of cake.

And then the room filled
with water,

And I saw two goldfish
in the distance,

And then I rode
all the way up to them

On abraham lincoln
the goat.

Aaah!!

And then they offered me a nut
for a jar of tuna.

A nut for a jar of tuna?

Backwards.

A...nut for a jar of tuna.

Huh.

But then I woke up.

So, if I follow my dream
to the end,

I'll get to find out
what happened next.

Sense perfect makes this.

What?
[ Sighs ]

Okay, so while we wait for
the room to fill up with water,

I'll just climb on abraham.

Aaah!!

[ Both screaming ]

Wait!

Ow!

So, how's my advice working out
for you guys?

Aaah!!
Ow!

Great! I mean, maybe cake shoes
were a bad idea, but --

Bad idea?
Hmm.

Impossible!

There's no such thing
as a bad idea.

What do you mean?

How would we have
discovered milk

If someone hadn't looked
at a cow's udder and said,

"I'm gonna drink
from that."

Like I said,
no such thing as a bad idea.

That's another piece
of advice, isn't it?
Aah!!

Mm-hmm.
Thanks.

I don't think
this is gonna end well.

Like he said, there is
no such thing as a bad idea.

How would scientists have
invented the quadruple bypass

If we hadn't first invented
the quadruple cheeseburger.

I think you're missing
the point.

And I'm not so sure
about the name.

Chorus slide?

It makes perfect sense.

It's a way to travel faster
through school.

[ All shouting ]

[ Splat! ]

[ Tearing ]
aaah!!

I don't think anything good is
gonna come out of this.

How about that?
We just created the robo-ulance.

[ Fwoosh! ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

Uhhh,
is everything o--

[ Grunting ]
we just --

We just wanted to say

That your advice was
very helpful,

But we're great now.
We don't need any more.

[ Chuckles ]
thank you.

Uh, are you sure?

Your little friend looks like
he needs to perk up.

[ Grumbling ]
you should tell that
to the people in the infirmary.

What?
N-nothing!
Nothing, nothing.

He's just a little
under the weather.

[ Gasps ]
I've got just the thing!

[ Creak ]

Oh, ho! Here's another piece
of advice for you!

Laughter is
the best medicine.

[ Ding! ]

[ Monitors beeping
and gas hissing ]

Ladies and gentlemen,
here to cure you

Through the power
of laughter,

It's dr. Funball
and har-harwin watterson.

[ Whistle and whiffle! ]

Come on,
do something.

[ Shoes squeaking ]

[ Sighs ]

Hey, hey!

Got your nose!

You found my nose?

The doctor said
we could reattach it.

Oh, uh, n-no.

I was...

[ Pop! ]

There you go.

[ Squeak! ]

[ Rimshot ]

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

I bet my gags are gonna
split your sides,

Not split your middle.
[ Laughs ]

[ Laughing dies down ]

[ Microphone feedback ]

Wow, does this room
even have a pulse?

I mean, [chuckles]
is this thing on?

[ Shatters ]

[ Panting ]

[ Wheezing ]

Well, like they say,
leave them on a high.

[ Chuckles nervously ]

[ Creak, popping ]

[ Monitor flatlines ]

Which one goes where?!

This one goes there!
Where?

[ Honk! ]
Ow!

Whoa!

Quick!
Grab some paper towels!

Aah!!

Run.

I can't!

Me, neither.
Hold on.

[ Zip! ]

[ Water running ]

[ Sighs ]
where are we going?

Back to
mr. Small's office.

What? No!

If his advice was
a type of footwear,

It would be
socks and sandals!

It's bad.
His advice is bad.

It's not about his advice.

It's about hiding
the consequences from him.

I refuse to be the kid
who breaks his positive spirit.

Yeah, well, whatever.

I'm not going back
to his office.

Too late.
We're already there.

I said I'm not going!

[ Squeaking ]

Ah, children!

So, how did this day
of inspirational advice go?

Pretty bad.

Oh, uhh.

[ Chuckles ]

Um, that's um...

I-i guess maybe I should --

S-should go back
to my normal work.

As in bad!
You know, good-bad.

Like a bad
skateboard trick

Or a bad new pair
of fresh kicks, or a bad --

Gas?

No, that would be
actually bad.

But you meant I gave you
good advice, right?

[ Sighs ]
yes.

I knew it!

♪

Oh, man,
that's never a good sign.

♪ To educate is my desire

♪ And to that duty,
I am bound ♪

♪ Your minds are there
to be inspired ♪

[ Squish! ]
♪ To open your eyes
to the world around ♪

We can't let him see
the chaos his advice caused!

[ Both grunt ]

♪ The longest journey starts
with just one simple step ♪

♪ And each mile goes
much quicker ♪

♪ If you walk it with pep

♪ Take my advice, and you'll
be glad that you do ♪

♪ Your mind is like
a parachute ♪

There they are!
♪ It won't work
when it's not open ♪

♪ So don't close yourself off
to the words that I've spoken ♪

Aaah!!

♪ Take my advice, and you'll
be glad that you do ♪

♪ Before you judge someone,
walk a mile in their shoes ♪

♪ Well, you might
as well try it ♪

♪ You've got
nothing to ♪

Loooo!!

Sorry, terry, I'm a nurse,
not an artist.

You're all going
to the hospital now.

I'll call
the ambulance.

♪ So, come real close

♪ Open your ears,
hearts, and eyes ♪

♪ I'm gonna give you all
the gift of advice ♪

[ Gasps ]

♪ Be the change you want
in your wooorld ♪

♪ Take my advice, and you'll
be glad that you do ♪

♪ And you know
what doesn't k*ll you's ♪

♪ Only gonna make you stronger

♪ If it turns out wrong, then
it won't matter much longer ♪

♪ Tomorrow,
you'll be better than ♪

Hey!

♪ You are today
huh?

♪ Hey, hey, hey

♪ Hey, hey, hey
let me hear ya!

♪ Hey, hey, hey
whoo!

♪ Hey, hey, hey

♪ I've got plenty more advice,
all you need to do is ask ♪

♪ So, next time you feel lost,
just pop into ♪

[ Squeak! ]
♪ My class

♪ And that is my advice
to yooou ♪

♪ My advice to you

Pbht!

And now for my last piece
of advice for today, children.

As you grow older,
you'll be given a lot of advice.

[ Snarling ]

Some will be good,
some will be bad.

Some will open your mind
and your spirit,

While some make you feel inept
or worse -- discouraged.

[ Snorts ]
some advice will result...

[ Continues, indistinct ]

[ Galloping ]

So, children, the most important
thing to remember is this --

Never take any advice
too literally.

Yeah, that would have been
good advice to give us first.

Aaah!!

♪

You're what?
Just trying on hats.

I feel like my look
is missing a little something.

Dude, your look is missing
everything except shoes.

Exactly.
Step one -- shoes.

Step two -- hat.

Uh, step two isn't hat.

And, for the record,
step one is pants.

What do you think?

Nah.
I think it's a bit "enh."

You're right.
Too desperate for attention.

Whoo!
How about this?

Yeah, that one makes you
look kind of "eh-h-h-h-h-h."

Yeah, I get it.

Too "thinkin' it's cool,
but lonely at school."

What just happened?

[ Echoing ]
how about this?

Yeah, that one
makes you look...

[ Static ]

Yeah, too canadian.

I really like this one,

But do you think it makes me
look like I have a fat head?

I, uh-h-h-h...

[ Static ]

Don't spare my feelings.
Just tell me.

[ Static continues ]

Hmm.

Fine!

[ Static continues ]

I like it!

But, darwin,
where you going?

To the food court!

If that's okay with you.

No!
I d-d-d-d-d --

Fine! If you think
I've got such a fat head,

Maybe I'll go work out
instead.

D-d-d-d-didn't mean that!

Come on! Wait up!
Why are you mad at me?!

Dude!
Hold o-o-o-o--

Ho--
[ static ]

Huh!
[ Smack! ]

Wait, what the...

Buddy!

[ Clunk! Clunk!]

[ Grunting ] oh!
Come on!

Uhh! Ohh!

All right,
there's only one thing to do.

Dad, have you seen dar--

[ Grunting ]

Dad,
what are you doing?

The tv was being weird.

I'm moving the couch
so I can watch

The second most interesting
thing in this house.

What's that?

The fridge.

[ Laughs ]

Pickles.

Aw, dude.
You don't have to do that.

You're not fat at all.

[ Breathing heavily ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Straining ]

[ Exhales deeply ]

What are you doing?

Well, you weren't
really going up,

So I thought
I better go down.

You know --
to make you feel better.

Ugh! Whatever.

[ Clang! Plonk! ]

Wait, wait, wait!
Whoa, whoa.

At least
let me spot you, buddy.

Safety first.
[ Scoffs ]

All right, I guess.
[ Inhales deeply ]

One!

[ Straining ]

A quarter!

A half!

A -- a third!

[ Straining ]
take it! Take it!

Take it! Take it!
Okay, I go--

[ Splat! Vroom! ]

[ Straining ]

Okay. I got it!
[ Clunk! Clang! ]

I'm sorry, dude.

I never meant to say
your head was fat.

Your face looks great.

A little scrunched up,
though.

You look so much better
with a smile.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Come on, come on, come on.
Come on.

[ Giggles ] all right.
Aww!

[ Inhales deeply ]
haa!

Ah, see?
That's mu--

[ Gagging ]

[ Gagging ]
what?

Uh...nothing.

Nothing.

Uh, c-come on.

Let's just hug it out.

Oka--
[ static ]

Aah! Oh!
Oh, your face!

Ugh! Ugh!
Can you get up?

I think
I'm gonna be sick.

Could you be
any more insulting?

Gumball watterson,
I'm turning my back on y-y--

Dude, let me explain!
There's...

[ Sighs ] there's something
weird going on here.

[ Static ]

[ Whirr! ]

Gumball: "dear darwin"...

Nah.

"Dearest buddy"...

Hmm.

"To my best compan--"

[ Clatter ]

[ Breathes deeply ]

"Dear darwin...

You are not only my brother,
but my best friend.

You are not ugly.

Your face is fine.

And I feel utterly horrible
about what happened today.

I hope we don't stop
being friends over this.

I hate to see you upset

[Voice breaking]
because when you cry, I cry.

May we never
let this happen again.

Your best buddy, gumball."

[ Sniffles ]
yeah, not sure.

What's that?

Oh, um, well, it's --
it's a letter.

Uh, a letter
I wrote for you.

You gonna read it, then?

Okay.

[ Breathes deeply ]

"Dear darwin,
you're -- but -- ugly.

Your face is -- horrible.

I hope we --
stop being friends over this.

See you -- never.
Gumball."

I've done enough storming out
for one day.

I think
it's your turn to leave.

Look, can I just --

[ Slam! ]

I'll, uh, take that
as a "no."

[ Crying ] I'm sorry, old pal.
[ Sniffles ]

We had so many good times,

But I can't bear
to see you like this.

It would be cruel
to go on any longer.

[ Sobs ] goodbye.

What's wrong, dad?

I just turned
the tv off.

Uh, right.

Can I speak to you?
Sure!

Have you noticed
anything weird lately?

Like, you know,
strange things happening?

[ Speaking spanish ]

What?

On your new speedboat!

Are you trying
to be funny?

[ Laughter ]

O-kay...
Darwin: [ sighs ]

Gumball, I just realized
there's no point

In me being angry
upstairs by myself.

Oh, w-well, great!

So you're, uh [chuckles]
not mad anymore?

No, I am. I'm just gonna do it
somewhere you can see it.

Look, I think I know
why you're so mad at me.

Something weird is going on,
okay?

So just give me
a chance to explain.

I th-th-th-thi-thi--

[ Sighs ]

I th-i-i--

[ Breathes deeply ]

You--

Aw, come on!
All right.

Just take your time and
say what you need to say.

[ Breathes deeply ]

What I wanted to say was,
I th--

Aah!
Stop it! Stop it!

No, darwin, get off his --
gumball!

[ Shouts indistinctly ]
don't!

[ Speaking gibberish ]

Aghhhhh!
See? Look!

Something's not right.

Dad's gone weird, too.
No, I haven't.

That was a diversion
to make you two stop fighting.

Worked!
Okay, I've got an idea.

If you guys make up, I'll take
you to buy me an ice cream.

I mean, you an ice cream.
us an ice cream.

Yeah, I'll take you
to buy us an ice cream.

Hm.
Good! Let's go then.

[ Door opens ]

I guess you can have
my ice cream,

Seeing as
I should be dieting.

Oh, thanks, dude.

[ Grunts ]

♪

Mm.

Come on, kids.
Don't be like that.

Why don't we play a game?

Yeah, how about we play

"What offensive thing will
gumball say to darwin next?"

Oh, uh, uh...

You're so chubby,

Your butt cheeks
are in different time zones?

No? Uh...

You're so dumb that you deleted
the cookies on your computer

To try to lose weight.

[ Snickers ]
oh! Oh!

You're so ugly, the sweat

Runs down the back of your head
to avoid your face.

[ Laughs ]

[ Both snicker ]

[ Both laugh ]

[ Static ]

[ Ding! ]

What?
What just happened?

Just needed to fill up.

We'll be back on the road
in five.

No, not that.

[ Speaking gibberish ]
[ static ]

Oh, my gosh.
You were right.

Something weird
is going on.

[ Static ]
it happened again!

See?
You believe me now?

Come on.

You know I'd never make
you feel bad on purpose.

Mm?
[ Squeals ]

So we're okay now?

Yeah, we're good.

Dad?

-Dad!
-Dad!

[ Static ]

[ Tires screeching,
horn honking ]

There's nobody
driving the car.

[ Both gasp ]

[ Screeching ]

Hold on!
I'm gonna take the wheel!

No, you can't! You have
to keep your seatbelt on!

Why?
'Cause otherwise --

[ Splat! ]

Woman:
fast relief from headaches.

Man:
it's a true fresh blend!

Fair point.

[ Both scream, horn honks ]

[ Tires screech ]

Watch out!

I am watching!

That's all there is
to do!

[ Screams ]

-Oh.
-Oh.

-Okay.
-Okay.

[ Brakes squeal ]

What are you doing?

I don't know.
It just feels right.

[ Both scream ]

[ Whistling ]

[ Engine turns over ]

[ Screaming continues ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Ice-cream-truck music plays ]

[ Screaming continues ]

Darwin, I've got a plan.
What?

The plan is, you
come up with a plan,
'cause I haven't got one.

Okay, but there's
one small flaw.

What?
I don't have one either.

[ Carnival music plays ]

[ Horns honk ]

Aah! No!
We're gonna cr--

Man: crashing through prices
this week at joyful burger!

-Aah!
-Aah!

What?

[ Both scream ]

[ Screaming continues ]

[ Tink! ]

Oh, we made it.

I'm glad that's over.

Man: panther treads --
made to keep you rolling!

Oh, no-o-o!

Aah!

[ Both screaming ]

[ Screaming ]

[ soft music plays ]

[ Sighs ]

[ mid-tempo music plays]

in other news,
the town of elmore

has recently been suffering

from some satellite
broadcast issues.

we assure you,
we are working on the problem.

so, please, bear with us
while we try to --

Wait. Then why is it
affecting u-u-u--

U-u-u-u-u-u--

Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

If what happens on tv
happens to us,

Does it mean
that we're on --

Then we all got home,
and everything was fine.

You two made up,
we're all safe,

And all's well
that ends well.

[ Laughs ]

[ Laughs ]

[ Laughs nervously ]

[ Static ]

♪