02x05 & 02x06 - The Flower/The Banana

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[all] [chanting] One, two, three, four,
five. We are Elmore Junior High.

-Six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
-Woo-hoo!

That's my girl.

Right next to my heart, baby.

Dude, what are you doing?

What's the problem?

Can't a guy celebrate
when his cheerleader girlfriend

lands an amazing flip
on a beautiful sunny day?

OK. I don't know
what kind of reality you're living in.

First of all, this isn't a sunny day.

Secondly, that move went wrong
and you cheered.

Penny, are you OK?

[groans] I face-planted so hard
I've got grass on my tonsils.

Well, someone found it entertaining.

And, finally, she's not your girlfriend.

What? Well, then how come
she blew me this kiss?

That's ketchup.

You just smeared it all over yourself.

What the... What's going on?

What's going on

is you've dragged me here
to eat my lunch in the rain

so you could gawk at Penny
like you do every day

even though you guys
aren't even boyfriend and girlfriend!

Oh, yeah?

Well, you look like
a swollen traffic cone.

Sorry, dude. I didn't mean to offend you.

I'm not saying it won't happen,

but right now,
you've got some competition.

Come on, now. Let's get you back inside.

Who? Leslie?

[laughs] Nah, they're just friends.

Ooh, Leslie. What would I do without you?

That's how it starts!

Soon, he'll be her boyfriend
and you'll be history!

No, it's not like that. He's a nice guy.

No, he's not. And I'm gonna put an end
to this right now!

[barking]

Wow.

[panting]

Here. [screams]

[grunts]

[players groaning]

[groans]

You like this?

Penny! Leslie!

Stitch!

[indistinct chatter]

[Gumball]
You see? There's nothing going on.

They're just eating lunch and chatting.

What do you think they're saying?

So, how do you like my stupid pink petals
and my fat yellow face?

Oh. I'm so pleased you like it.

I use it to steal girls from people!

Who are you talking about?

-Gumball's jealous of Leslie.
-Leslie? Why?

Because he's trying to steal my girl!

You know, you should seriously consider
becoming a carnivore.

Why?

Because before it ends up on your plate,
this is what they do to vegetables!

Uh-huh. Yeah.

I'm not sure baloney's
such a good option, though.

At least I'm not eating my own kind.

[Gumball screaming]

-...you are part of a vegetable family.
-Uh-huh.

Yeah.

-Hm-hm.
-...they are washed in cold water.

[grunts]

Curse this feeble body!

You should work out more.

Gumball, what is wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?

Hanging out with this loser instead of me!

Come on, Leslie. Let's get out of here.

Penny, I'm so sorry!

No, I'm not!

Shut up!

You're pathetic!

You're pathetic, you insecure weirdo!

Oh.

[sighs]

[chuckles]

Looks like I'm gonna
have to secure this myself!

Wow!

I know.
I've never seen him like this before.

And the case is solved!

Commissioner Brown, arrest this man!

What are you talking about?

The case of the stolen trophy,

which I have just found
in his conveniently open locker.

Principal Brown, I think
it's pretty obvious what's happened here.

He did it.

[nervous chuckle]

See you later.

Huh? What?

What's going on?

What's going on is that
we're about to open your locker

and find a crowbar.

Uh... OK.

Dude, I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Why? What have you made me do now?

What's all this?

Uh, plan B.

[laughs] Well, at least
there's no crowbar.

[crowbar clanks]

-Wow.
-I know, right?

Gumball, I think you owe Leslie
an apology.

I would apologize,
but... he'll b*at me up again.

Oh, I'll do nothing of the sort.

Not you. Him.

-Who?
-Me!

You nectar-faced, CO -breathing,
self-pollinating, photosynthesizing,

soil-eating, root-drinking, deciduous,
petal-headed punk!

See? He hates me!
It's been like this all day.

Look, I don't hate you.

It's just... I'll explain everything
when I get out of prison.

Prison? [chuckles]

Gumball, we're not the police.

Wait. You mean I'm not wearing handcuffs?

Of course not.

Well, then good luck finding me in Mexico.

[chuckles and grunts]

[groans]

Gumball, please make
an effort with Leslie.

Yeah, OK.

[birds chirping]

[sighs] I'm pleased we got
to spend this time together.

Me, too. Penny was right.
We do have a lot in common.

Phew. It's hot.

[gasps] Oh, a bench in the shade.

[chuckles]

[both sigh]

[both chuckling]

You know, after today, I never really
thought you and me would become friends.

Well, I guess sometimes
life is just full of...

Surprise!

[screams]

Ha, I see you've met
my hungry, little friends.

-I can't move!
-That's right!

I glued you to the bench!

[cackles]

I guess we won't be insect-ing you
at school tomorrow.

[laughs] Wait, wait. I can do better.

We'll see how pretty you look
after this, larvae-boy!

Ha-ha. No, still not good enough.

That'll teach you for being
a creepy-crawler... you get the point.

[screaming] Why!

I'm so pleased you and Leslie
are finally getting along.

Yeah, because for a while there,
I thought you completely lost it.

Where is he, by the way?

[Gumball]
Eh. He had to take care of something

that was... bugging him!

♪ Nailed it ♪

-[door opens]
-Penny, keep away from him! He's insane!

How did you get away?
I glued you to the bench!

You glued my pot to the bench!

Oh, Leslie! Are you OK?

Stay away from her!

[screaming]

-[screams]
-She loves me!

She loves you not! She loves me!

Darwin, help!

Dude, chill out.

We need to do something.
I don't even recognize him anymore.

I think I know what to do.

-[owl hooting]
-[match lights]

[growling]

Don't break the circle of pepper.
It's our only protection.

-From what?
-Jealousy.

It's taken possession of his body.

And it must be expelled!

Gumball, if you're there, give us a sign.

"Writing in reverse way is
[mispronouncing] difficlut."

Yeah, that's Gumball, all right.

Good. It's not too late.

Now we must present
the root of his jealousy. Leslie.

[growls]

Take a step forward.

I feel like I'm close enough already.

How about you guys take a step back?

Stupid pink petals! Fat, yellow face!

Why is he so mean?

Come on, man. His face isn't that fat.

It's just disproportionate
compared to his really weedy body.

Yeah, and because it's round,
it's kind of full-looking,

and the yellow makes you focus on it.

So, if it is a little fat,
it's not that fat.

[Darwin] It's just very, very plump.

[Penny] Fat-faced people have feelings,
too, you know, Gumball.

All right, can we just get this done?

Carrie, what's the next step?

Everybody, join me.

Jealousy, be gone.

-Jealousy, be gone. Jealousy, be gone.
-[Gumball grunting]

Jealousy, be gone!

Jealousy, be gone! Jealousy, be gone!

-[Gumball screams]
-[owl hooting]

What is that?

It's jealousy in its purest form.

-[coughs feebly]
-Gumball, are you all right?

No! No, don't!

[cackles]

How come you have more comic books
than I have?

-That makes me angry!
-[rattling]

[groans]

I want a TV in my room!

Hey, your bed's really sturdy!

Mine's not this well made!

[screams]

I've always wanted a dimmer switch!

-What do we do?
-I don't know!

What do you mean, you don't know?

I just read about it on the Internet.
I didn't think it was gonna work.

[Jealousy]
How many pairs of shoes do you need?

You don't even have feet!

Hey, over here, you green freak!

Leslie!

I've got a vacuum bag
with your name on it.

-[whirring]
-No, turn it off, turn it off!

Gross.

[screams]

I wish I had my own bedroom like you!

I wish I had my own body like you!

I'm actually quite happy with my life.

And you!

You betrayed me.

If I can't have you, nobody will.

-[shrieks]
-What is he doing?

He's gonna explode!

Gumball, you have to stop being jealous!

I can't! Not as long
as Penny's going out with Leslie!

Aah! Penny, you got to break up
with Leslie!

What are you talking about?

We're not dating. We're cousin...

Wait, did you just say he was your cousin?

Well, duh. Everyone knows.

Well, duh, I didn't.

There's a lot of things
you don't know about me, Gumball.

Oh.

[all screaming]

[all thudding]

[all panting]

-I wish you said that earlier.
-Yeah, so do I.

Sorry, man. I just didn't know.

Well, I think that
was a good lesson for you.

Jealousy's a pretty ugly thing, Gumball.

Yep. I get it.

[laughs] That's OK. You made it, man.

Get your hands off him

you undead, ectoplasmic,
transparent, paranormal,

spooky, floating, fringe-flicking freak!

[all] Wow!

[Mr. Small] This pie chart
is an illustration

of the composition of happiness.

This portion here represents
the ratio of love needed in one's life.

This portion here is the...

[muffled speech]

Hmm.

My brain is amazing.

When I find something boring,
it actually prevents me from hearing it.

Hmm. I don't think it's your brain.

I think it's his.

He should seriously give up
on this herbal tea.

[gasps]

...and this portion represents
the amount--

Class...

-Thanks for the pen, dude.
-No problem.

Hmm.

-Hey!
-What?

[grunting]

What the durf is that?

I don't know. What are you doing?

The pen! You chewed his pen!

No, I didn't.

Ah... Can you believe this guy?

Relax, dude. It's only a pen.

Don't you "dude" me when I'm right!

You're supposed to chew things you eat,
not people's stuff!

-What about gum?
-What about it?

You don't eat gum, but you chew that.

It's even in the name, chewing gum.

Yeah, sure, but that's specifically made
for chewing.

That wasn't a chewing pen.
You write with a pen!

You can get a fountain pen.
You don't spray water with it.

You just don't chew other people's pens!
It's the principle!

This is what society
is built upon, respect!

You know, there's nothing that
can't be solved with an apology, Joe.

Hmm. I forgive you for accusing me
of chewing the pen.

-Can I borrow your glue, please?
-Yes, of course.

But don't go chewing on it.

[both laughing]

-What are you doing?
-Exacting justice.

What kind of justice is there in piercing
the tube of glue like a psycho?

-[sighs]
-[groans]

Now, what do you feel is
an appropriate thing to do in return?

Turn the other cheek.

Which means I can do this.

That emotion you're feeling
is your thirst for justice.

Quench it!

But what if you offer love
instead of hatred?

Oh, yeah. That is nicer.

But it's not justice!

This is justice! This is justice!

This is justice!

[whistling]

"Thanks for the glue."

Hmm. How swell.

I should make them a card
to celebrate our friendship.

Gee. That's what I call
a sticky situation.

Whoopsie.

[grunts]

Darwin's homework.

Well, what am I gonna glue now?

[laughs]

Looks like I'm getting
more and more attached to this school.

[laughing]

Now I'm even bonding with myself.

[laughing]

[grunts]

[screams]

[Joan] OK, Joe, we're going
to take the bandages off now,

but I just want to warn you that,
well, we did the best we could.

[screaming]

It's not so bad.

We found this tube of glue
stuck to your...

Anyway, in future,
you need to be more careful.

This tube was covered in holes.

But it wasn't when I lent it to Gumball.

-Hmm,
-Hmm.

Hmm.

Oh, come on!

I can understand the glue,
but why the glitter?

It's like putting lipstick on a skeleton.
It doesn't make it any nicer.

You were right.
We should have let that pen stuff slide.

[puffing]

Dude, please chill out!

Here, have some love.

This, this is for my homework!

And this is for the glitter!

-Just pop it already!
-[ball popping]

He destroyed your desk, too,
so chew on this!

That's for my desk that I don't
really care about that much!

Take that, you banana!

Oh, look. A pen!

And it's not chewed!

What else can we do to it?

[man on PA] Attention please.

Could Gumball and Darwin Watterson
please come to Mr. Small's office?

Thank you very much.

[chuckles]

[chuckling]

[Mr. Small] [clears throat]

Any conflict can be resolved
with these three tools.

The mirror reminds us that

an enemy is just ourselves
but seen from another angle.

The water reminds us that
we all have something in common.

And the hourglass is the time
we need to reach an understanding.

[screams]

-Come on, you googley-eyed punk!
-Darwin!

We got one minute. Let's finish this.

Geez, Louise!
The pen! Give him the new pen!

[shuddering]
I didn't chew your pen, honestly.

But I bought you a new one

because I, myself, have a pen
of great sentimental value.

[nervous chuckle]
It's not a fountain pen, is it?

Actually, yes, it is.

[both] Eee!

It's the pen that Obadiah Banana,
the founder of our family,

used to sign the registry
when he first came to this country.

It was a very expensive pen.

I'm not even gonna tell you
where he had to hide it to keep it safe.

[laughing]

I would lose my mind
if anyone chewed on that pen!

Anyway, please accept this new pen,
and let's be friends again.

[Mr. Small sighs]

Dude, we have to get to his locker
before he sees what we've done.

Thank you. We've got to go now. Bye.

One minute.
Thank you for a beautiful resolution.

Banana Joe, you can go.

I just need to fill out
your hall pass, guys.

Gumball.

[chuckles] That's a funny name, isn't it?

Now, do you spell it
with two or three L's?

Two. Two L's.

I'm sorry. I just put one.

Dude! You could have just put
another one at the end!

Of course. Silly old hippie.

I'll do another one.

Wait. I'm all out. I'll have to print one.

-Come on!
-Huh?

Just print it please!

Yeah, sure.

Here it is!

Old reliable.

[both coughing]

I don't know how it works.

Just let us go, OK?

You seem a little stressed out, guys.

You want to try my herbal infusion?

It's very good for the nerve...

Mr. Small?

Yo!

Right. Come on.

[door opening]

Woo-hoo!

[whistling theme song]

[slurps]

[whistling continues]

[Banana Joe] Hey!

-Turn around, you cowards.
-[Gumball] Ha-ha. No, thank you.

Turn around and face
the can of butt-whupping

that I'm gonna open on you!

[Darwin] Wouldn't it be better
to stay like we are for that?

Turn around!

-Should we turn around?
-I don't want to turn around.

[whispered conversation]

[both inhaling deeply]

OK.

[screams]

[groans]

Oh. That's just great!

Now people are gonna come
around the corner, see him like that,

and think we're massive bullies!

Which we are!

Because of us, he lost an eye,

and we att*cked him with a mirror,

we punctured his tube of glue,
we chewed everything in his locker,

he got a huge brown
banana bruise on his little face,

and we even managed to ruin the most
precious thing his family ever owned!

-He did chew that pen, though.
-It doesn't matter!

What are we gonna do now?

[grunts]

What are you doing?

We need to make it look like
he won the fight.

And then we'll be even
and we can be friends again

and no one will ever know
what horrible people we are.

Banana Joe, please! Not the face!

On, no! Not with the elbow!

Hey, pull one of my teeth out.

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

That's completely over the top, isn't it?

Let's just get into position.

[groans]

What happened?

Ah. You kicked our butts like a beast.

-That's what happened.
-Awesome.

Oh, I mean, I'm sorry.

How did it ever come to this?

It's our fault, Joe.

We didn't know it was your family pen.

Well, Obadiah Banana always said
that nothing is lost

until you lose a friend,
and I don't want that to happen to us.

[crying]

That's really lame.

Group hug?

[all groan]

Ow!

What is that?

-Oh. Hey, Darwin, here's your pen.
-What?

Your pen. Look.
It's got your initials on it.

Wait.

Oh, man.

You know what this means?

It means the pen you lent Joe was my pen,
not yours,

and I was the one who chewed it.

I always chew my pen! [laughing]

Isn't that funny?

All this fighting for nothing,

when I had the pen in my pocket
the whole time.

Pretty fun, huh, guys?

Guys?

[both grunt]

[theme music playing]