02x33 & 02x34 - The Castle/The Boombox

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Amazing World of Gumball". Aired: May 3, 2011 - June 24, 2019.*
Watch on Amazon Merchandise Collectibles

Revolves around the life of a 12-year-old cat named Gumball and his frequent shenanigans in the fictional American city of Elmore.
Post Reply

02x33 & 02x34 - The Castle/The Boombox

Post by bunniefuu »

[theme music playing]

[beatboxing]

[Darwin, voice-over] Oh, Nigel!

[Gumball, voice-over]
Oh, hello, Miss Simian.

Here's that cup of pig sweat
you asked for.

[slurps] My favorite!

Now, I've been meaning to talk to you
about how very ugly you are.

Oh, really? [giggles]

I used to think that you were
just regular ugly,

but now that I'm up this close,
I see that you're full-on mega-gross.

Makes me want to kiss you. Mwah.

You taste like garbage quiche.

I'm sorry. I didn't catch that.
I was distracted by your rancid breath.

So long, sucker!

"Chim-pan-see you later."

[both snicker]

Oh. Let's do those guys.

[speaking indistinctly]

[Darwin, voice-over]
He was an ordinary guy

who was never good at anything

until he found out he could... jump!

I've already lost your brother to jumping!
I am not gonna lose you!

[mimics expl*si*n]

He had all of the talent,
but none of the discipline.

[voices over Leslie]
I'm just a kid from lower east Elmore.

I don't know nothin' about jumpin'.

[Darwin voices over Carmen]
Then don't jump, kid.

Just push the world away.

Jump, coming soon
to a playground near you.

Rated PG- .

Would you guys quit it?
You're throwing me off my game!

Well, excuse us for trying
to add some drama to your life.

[beatboxing]

[scoffs]

[beatboxing]

"A wicked chicken
wrote a check for a wall?"

[beatboxing]

You "licked the bricks you didn't fix"?

[beatboxing]

OK, I'll try and say this politely,

but you're gonna need
to read between the lines.

Due to personal circumstances,
I am unable to commit sufficient

resources to resolve this
communication problem.

Hey! Show some understanding!
He's doing his best to communicate.

[beatboxing]

That just sounded like you said
you were running from the butt police.

[beatboxing]

I think we need to find out what he wants
before he chokes on his tape.

-[whirring]
-Too late.

OK, I'm gonna use the online translator.
So, what language do you speak?

Come on. At least make an effort to speak
to him in a way he can understand.

What language do you speak?

[beatboxing]

Please try and articulate this time.

[beatboxing]

I'm gonna type that the way I heard it.

-[clicking]
-[chimes]

Elmore Search says,
"Do you need medical help?"

I'm tempted to say yes.

Gumball, you're not being
very constructive.

What country do you come from?

Don't worry. I got this.

"What country do boombox-heads
come from?"

[gasps] Gumball!

[nervous chuckle] What my ignorant friend
here is trying to say is,

"Where do bi-speakered, parallelepipedic
electrical leisure appliances come from?"

[sighs] You make it sound like a disease.

[chimes]

-Ah, Boomboxenburg.
-[groans].

That's right. Home,

where you have over different words
for "disco."

But only discovered fire in .

[sighs]

Oh, don't blame me.
Blame your cavemen.

Of course. Why didn't we think of that?
You can just write what you want to say.

[chimes]

What the...

[spitting and clicking]

Dude, you need to type words,
not cockroach noises.

[chimes]

There's no direct translation
for this in English.

But it will translate into French,
which will translate into Spanish,

which will translate into Japanese,

which will translate in Swahili,
then Chinese,

then Indonesian, Portuguese, Danish,
and then back to English.

Simple.

[chimes]

"The reign of the ape is no more"?

[ominous music playing]

[both screaming]

[both] Miss Simian's retired!

[screaming]

-[both screaming]
-[all coughing]

[muffled screaming]

[screaming intensifies]

And you've won this amazing new car!

[both screaming]

[whimpers]

[man , on TV] Elmore Wings.
We might not have the legroom,

but there's plenty of seats.

[both screaming]

Miss Simian's retired!

[man , on TV] The majestic cheetah,

fastest land mammal on Earth,
capable of speeds of up to--

[both screaming]

I think I've finally watched too much TV!
Maybe I should read a book.

"Chapter : Gumball and Darwin
Ran Through the Living Room, Screaming"?

[both screaming]

[all screaming]

[all] Simian's retired! School's over!

Number one, I have not retired!

And number two, if I was retiring,
you'd still have to go to school!

[all sigh]

And what are you doing out here?

[noisemaker honks]

Uh, I felt sure it was a fire drill,
and I was gonna...

All you kids back inside!
You hear me?

Good job, Watterson.

[sighs] Curse word.

-Why would anyone think I was retiring?
-Well, you are, kind of, old.

-And bald.
-[screaming] Bald?

Not bald, my paddle.

It's just, gravity has turned
your hair into a beard.

[screaming] I've got a beard?

Hmm.

The only honorable way out of this is
to turn my embarrassment into anger.

[screaming] Detention for both of you!

[both sigh]

[sighs] That's the last time
I try and help--

[beatboxing]

[gasps] What's that?
Little Timmy fell down the well? No?

You found the treasure, and now we can
save the town from the evil contractors?

[beatboxing]

[gasps] No?

Then I suggest you go to the library
and learn some English, dude,

'cause I'm officially giving up on you.

[beatboxing]

[mockingly]
I don't understand what you're saying

You know, I speak a little "Beatbox."

Of course you do.
I bet you learned it while parachuting

carbon-neutral aid parcels
to orphan polar bears.

[laughs]

[sighs]

No. I just learned some because I wanted
to make Juke feel welcome in our school.

[beatboxing]

[beatboxing]

What did you say?

I asked the way to the beach,
and "how much is this taco?"

What?

I don't know. It's the only words
I know how to say.

But I think he kept saying "Grobblefest."

Grobblefest?
What does that mean?

Well, I could try and ask--

[chuckles]

Principal Brown!

-I'm sorry. What?
-No, no. I'm...

-Oh!
-[chuckles]

That's what happens when you
mess with static.

[laughs]

[door opens]

No! No, no, no! [screams]

[beatboxing]

I'm sorry, dude, but I don't understand
what you want. Bye.

[beatboxing]

[breathes deeply]

Stay!

[sighs]

[chimes]

Apparently, Grobblefest
is this huge coming-of-age ritual

that's been celebrated by his country
for generations.

If it's so big, how come
I haven't heard of it?

-Uh. Mount Everest?
-Huh?

-The Atlantic Ocean?
-What?

Thursday?

You can make up as many words as you like,

but it's not gonna prove whatever point
you're trying to make.

But this is what Juke's been wanting us
to do the whole time,

celebrate Grobblefest!

It's really important to his people.
It's a ritual about becoming a man.

[yawns]

They love it!
It makes them feel like this.

[heavy metal music plays]

Yeah, well, this is how much I care.

What is wrong with you?
You called Juke a boom-box-head,

you insulted his culture, and when he
asked you for some help and understanding,

you tie him up to a pipe like a dog.

You know what you are?
You're a bad friend, like this guy!

OK, buddy. I gotcha.

[cellphone rings]

Hey.

-[sighs]
-[clicks]

You're right.
I've been a thunderjerk!

But don't worry, I'm gonna
overcompensate for my guilt

in the most extreme way possible.

Darwin, print out those
coming-of-age rituals.

I'm gonna throw Juke the most hardcore
Grobblefest there's ever been!

OK, dude, it's time to swim
the lake of boyhood

and emerge... a man.

Happy Grobblefest!

[splash]

-You should be ashamed!
-What?

This is what I read on the Internet.

Besides, we got the stick.
We can pull him out any time.

It's not that, it's because
you're just doing this out of guilt!

Wha... Why else are you supposed
to help people?

[sighs] Hold this for me, buddy.

Look, you help someone because you have
to show the right example to people.

So, that's what it's all about, huh?

[mockingly] Feeling superior!

It's not about feeling superior,
it's about doing the right thing.

Well, you might want
to pull him out, then.

[pop]

Help! Help! Help! Help!
Help! Help! Help! Help!

Come on, now, buddy,
second part of the ritual!

Time to be a man!

You don't want to get Grobblefail?
Eat it! And take its strength!

Come on, man! You can do it!

Eat it! Eat it! Come on, you can do it,
buddy! You're almost there!

Has it occurred to you
that maybe you got this wrong?

Has it occurred to
you that you might hurt your neck

looking down on people all the time?

This is the best I can do.

You're welcome to go to the zoo
and steal a crocodile

if you really want to do it by the book.
Come on, dude! Man up!

[sighs] All right! I'll show you.
What's so hard about this?

[whispering]
Maybe I should send him to sleep first.

Go to sleep, little squirrel

[whistling]

[chomp]

Hmm. You know, if you think about it,
a cow is better than a squirrel.

I mean, it's a pretty powerful animal.

If you had the strength of a cow,
that'd be pretty hardcore.

OK, now that your soul is cleansed

and your body is full of the sacred power
of the cheeseburger,

it is time...
for the ritual Grobblefight!

-This is pathetic.
-What? This is perfect!

It's just as good as a sword
and shield and bow and arrow.

It's all there in spirit.
OK, let's get started.

Three, two, one...

[beatboxing]

Grobblefight!

[clanging]

You're making a mockery of his culture--

[clanging]

Come on! Make an effort! It's for Juke!

You still don't get it, do you?

Oh, I get it, all right!

You're a finger-pointer, and now
I'm doing the right thing,

you can't point your pointy little
flipper at me anymore,

and that's why you're so butt-hurt!

But the truth is,
I'm actually doing something,

and you're not helping at all!

I am helping!

[whiffling]

[Juke] Ow!

Right in the-- [gasps] the switch.

You finally flicked the switch!

I've been trying to explain this
for two years!

My arms are too short to reach it!

Guys! Guys!
You can stop fighting.

I appreciate the effort, but I have
no idea what this Grobblefest thing is.

Boomboxenburg is a continent.

There's more than one country,
you know?

Scratchistan, Loopsynberg, Rapia,
the Democratic Republic of Rhythm-

Be quiet, Juke! We're trying to help you!

Yeah, but you're just helping
in a half-baked way

to feel better about yourself!

Hang on!
We're both trying to do good here!

-There's no reason to be fighting!
-I agree!

-I'm sorry for making you feel bad!
-And I'm sorry for fighting with you!

Well, you could stop slapping me, then.

Well, at least we made
someone happy today.

-Happy Grobblefest, dude!
-Oh, no! Guys, guys! Wait!

[beatboxing]

[sighs]

[sighs] Look at that. You try
and help people, and that's what you get.

[sighs]

[alarm clock ringing]

Quick! We have to get dressed,
eat breakfast, and get to school on time,

or Mom's gonna kick our butts!
Good thing I slept in my clothes!

-Hey! Those are my clothes!
-No time to change! You put on mine!

Dude! Wait up! I can't walk here!

Aah!

That worked out better than I expected.

You're wasting time!

We have to go faster!

Spread the toothpaste on the toast,
put the cartoons on fast-forward,

and give me a milk shower!

[both laugh]

[both gasp] Aww...

Yay!

Dude, it's Saturday.

[Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" playing]

[silence]

And it's Dad who's looking after us.

[music resumes]

[sighs] I was hoping you'd do that.

[Darwin] I love hanging out
at the mall with Mr. Dad.

I know, right? You stay in your pajamas,
eat junk food all day,

and get anything you ask for.
It's like a really trashy Christmas.

Hey, Dad, can I have bucks
to get my eyebrow pierced?

First I need to ask you
one question, young man.

Are you ready for the responsibility
of how awesomely cool

this is going to make you?

Yes, Father. I am.

Then take this , and may radness
illuminate your path.

Uh, are you seriously letting your child
get one of his eyebrows pierced?

You're right. Take .
Do both, that's much cooler.

Thanks, Dad.

Ugh. Come on, Harold. Let's go.

[screaming] Harold!

-Dad, can we get this tape?
-Why?

-To fix stuff.
-But nothing's broken.

Yeah, but Darwin also
wants to get this hammer.

I'm not buying you a hammer.

Until we've tested how much fun
it's gonna be first!

Wait.
Aren't we gonna have to pay for all this?

We don't have to.
They're free samples.

[both] Oh!

[screaming in excitement]

Where's your piercing?

[muffled] I got some
anti-wrinkle injections instead.

Really?

-[gasps]
-[laughs]

Whoo...

-I'm bored now. Let's go home.
-[crash]

What about the groceries?

Hey! That's my shopping!

Oh, I'm sorry.
Did you pay for this?

-Uh. No.
-Then it's not yours, is it?

Eh-- eh-- eh-- eh-- oh.

Boop... boop... boop... boooop!

[screaming]

-[elevator bell dings]
-[laughing]

Hey! You can't do that!

[Gumball] Of course we can!
Everything is allowed with my dad!

Boom!

We home alone with Dad
So I make me own lunch

I can eat what I want
So I pick the best munch

I pick up ham and chocolate chips
And stick 'em in the bread

It need a little sauce
I say maple and red

Boom!

Dude, have you noticed
that your voice has changed?

What, you mean how I sound like a man

and you squeal
like a piglet on helium?

You take that back!

[chuckles]
Sure, when you ask me like a man.

[high-pitched] I am a man!

Really? 'Cause right now, you sound like
a mouse whose parachute won't open.

[shouting increases] If you don't
take that back, I'm gonna take it to...

[high-pitched ringing]

You have won this antique crystal decanter
worth over ten thous--

[shattering]

[squealing] By the time I'm finished,
you'll be whistling out your butt!

Oh! OK! OK! I take it back!
Man, my ears are still ringing!

-[doorbell rings]
- Ah... There it is again!

[British accent] Lord Watterson,
the word on the streets of Elmore

is that yours is a house with no rules.

I humbly request asylum
in your palace of freedom.

-What?
-[sighs]

[normal voice] Everyone in Elmore is
talking about how laid-back you guys are.

Can I hang out at your house?
I'm not allowed to be myself at home.

[British accent] I hereby grant thee
thy fairest and most cherished wish.

-What?
-[normal voice] That means yes.

I'm starting to see why your family
won't let you be yourself.

I like touching things.

To be honest,
I'm more annoyed at the others.

[indistinct shouting]

Turn it up!

[shouting] This house is great!
Normally, I'm not allowed to shout!

I work in the library, you see?

Yeah, they don't judge here,
which is great,

'cause usually judges don't like me.

[sighs] Finally! A place where I'm
not pressured by society to be beautiful.

-You don't look that different.
-I haven't taken off my makeup yet.

[sighs]

How about you?

I just came here 'cause people don't
like it when I'm naked.

You know that was only
covering your back, right?

Yeah.

[growling]

[indistinct shouting]

I thought you were some kind
of vegetarian eco-warrior.

Only so I can get that rush of superiority
from making other people feel guilty.

Hey, dude. I hope you don't mind,

but I've invited
a few friends to the party.

Uh, before we open that door,
please define "a few."

Like... A bunch.

And by that, you mean?

You know, some.

Give me a ballpark figure.

Several?

I'm sure that's fine.

[screaming]

We need to talk.

You're too nice, Dad.

It was fun when it was
just the three of us abusing

how easygoing you are,
but this has gone too far.

[Hank] Hey! Go poke yourself!

Gumball is right.

You need to show some authority
and tell these people to go.

We learned a lesson today.

Freedom is a beautiful thing,
but too much of it is--

Hold on a second.

[shouting] And stop poking peop--
[gags]

You need to learn how to be less cool.
Practice on Gumball.

Hey, Dad.
Can I have a flare g*n?

-[takes a deep breath]
-Remember, you have to say no.

[struggling]

[struggling]

I think we can safely say
it's not in his nature to say no.

[indistinct shouting]

-Hey! Those are my clothes!
-Not anymore!

[laughs]

Everybody, stop!

[shouting continues]

[shouting] I said stop! Stop!

[shouting]
Shut up! The kid has something to say!

-Thank you.
-[clangs]

-Now, what I wanted to say--
-[shouting] Pay attention, everyone!

This might be important!

[clears throat]

-Uh. As I was saying--
-[shouting] Listen closely!

-He's about to speak!
-[sighs] I just want to--

-[shouting] Any minute now!
-Do you mind?

-OK, I know it's--
-[shouting] Sorry!

[inhales deeply]

I know it feels great to be allowed
to do whatever you want.

Until now, I hated rules, like all of you.

Freedom is beautiful, but the problem is,
with too much freedom--

[shouting] This little tyrant is trying
to steal our freedom!

You can't throw us out!

-This is our house!
-[all] Not anymore!

That's it! I'm calling the police!

Hi, police? Gumball Watterson calling.

A bunch of people just stole our house
and won't let us in!

Sorry! I can't hear you!
I'm at a party at the Wattersons' house!

You should come!
There's no rules here!

[laughs]

[clangs repeatedly]

[breathes heavily]

It seems the police won't be of much help.

[Richard breathes heavily]

[Anais] Come on, Dad!
Go and get our house back!

[sighs]

I'm gonna do this!

I'm gonna run through that door!
I am not a bunny!

I am a cannonball!

[panting]

Who am I kidding?
That's a solid-oak front door.

It's like trying to break a tree
with my face.

Half an hour of heavy breathing
and pep-talking for this?

Just use me as a ram, guys.

[screaming]

[indistinct shouting]

[sighs]

[groans]

This is all my fault!

It's because I have no authority.

If I wasn't such a lenient slacker,
none of this would have happened!

[sobbing]

-Yeah, that's true.
-Uh-huh.

Yep.

Oh, come on! You're supposed to say,

[high-pitched voice]
"No, Dad! We're all responsible!"

[normal voice] Then we would hug,
and I would feel less guilty!

Mm. Nah, this one's definitely on you.

What the what?

[mocking]

[all mocking]

Hello, sir? I would like to order
, pizzas, please.

Hey! Give that back!

[breathing heavily]

[screaming]

I just don't have it in me.

Hold on.
I think that guy gave me an idea.

[doorbell rings]

Yes! Pizza!

-Thanks, man. Here's a tip.
-Here's your receipt.

Uh...

You can keep it.

[grunting]

[pops]

-Please allow us...
-[whack]

...me!
Please let me help you with that.

[grunting]

Wait a minute, how come this is so heavy?
These boxes are empty.

[muffled] Surprise!

In your sausage face!

We're getting our house back,
Trojan style!

Come on! Be cool, man!
Please let us hang out.

Well, I suppose since
you're asking nicely--

[clears throat]

But I'll have to say nuh...

I'll have to say...

I'll have to say... [struggling]

[teeth chattering]

[inhales deeply]

I'll have to say no!

A man's house is his castle,
and this is my house!

My castle! So get out of here!

-Get out of my house!
-Or what?

I don't understand.
We did everything right.

Yeah, you turned responsible
and showed some backbone.

I don't get it.

Hmm. Something's missing,
some kind of ruthless ruler.

Yeah. A wrathful divinity
that could crush this joyful chaos

with one hit from its iron fist.

-Someone like--
-[car door closes]

[all whimper]

[tremors]

[deep voice]
You're going to clean this place

until it looks
better than when you arrived.

Then you will leave and never come back.

[scoffs] Or what?

[shrieking]

[crying softly]

[all whimpering]

[theme music playing]
Post Reply