02x37 & 02x38 - The Internet/The Plan

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[dial-up connection beeping]

[laughs]

[skates rolling]

[grunts]

Dude, his foot is
pointed in the wrong direction!

He's going to be walking in circles
for the rest of his life!

Pick something else! Pick something else!!

[puppies barking]

[both] Aww!

Gosh, this is so cute,
it should be illegal.

-[Darwin gasping]
-What's up with you?

Dude, please click something else.

These puppies are so sweet,
they're making me fat!

Huh?

There's no ghost in this video.

It's just a car driving down the--

[screams]

[groans]

[scoffs] Wasn't scary at all.

Let's watch some more people
making fools of themselves.

[screams]

What the what?

How did that happen?
What's going on here? Stop it!

[laughs] It's your fat fingers, dude.

You started the webcam
and uploaded yourself by mistake.

Stop laughing and do something!

I'm doomed!

I broke the number-one
rule of the Internet,

don't put yourself on the Internet!

Come on, man.

Do you know how many videos
there are on the Internet?

You're just a drop of embarrassment
in an ocean of shame.

I'm sure no one's seen it yet.

[beeping]

No! Man, how is that even possible?

That's more views than
there are people on Earth!

Well, on the plus side,
it can't get any worse.

Anyway, it's the Internet, dude.
It'll die out as fast as it started.

Delete it! Do something!

I can't.
You can't delete anything on the web.

Do something! Do something now!
Do something!!

Oh, yeah. That's better.

I... think that's enough Internet
for today.

[school bell ringing]

[sighs] I'm really enjoying this time
off from the Internet.

I can finally develop my brain and study
the big classics of literature!

"The little platypus
who took the wrong bus"?

Oh, man. It's intense.

It's this platypus baby on this quest
for family and identity.

Is he a duck? Is he a beaver? An otter?

And more to the point,
where is his mother?

A platypus child needs his mother, dude!

Well, I'm glad it
took your mind off that video.

Oh, yeah. No one's even mentioned it.

Now that I think about it,
where is everyone?

[all laughing]

Oh, my God!

What's that?

You've gone kind of viral, dude.
You're famous.

What kind of fame is that?

This is stupid! I mean, what's next?

My stupid face wearing a sombrero sh**ting
lasers at kittens or something?

-[Mexican music plays]
-[kitten meows]

That's it! I'm telling the cyber police.

OK. Let's have a look at these pictures
and see if I can back-trace them.

"Win a new car."

Come on, man. Everyone knows
you shouldn't click on pop-ups.

Step back, children! It's a hacker att*ck!

[mimics sh**ting laser]

Dude, just click
the pop-up-blocker option.

What the... That's amazing!

I must send an e-mail to the HQ!

What are you doing?
That's not how you send e-mails.

Let the professionals do their job, kid.
I've been doing this since the ' s.

-What, in the future?
-No, the s.

There was a " "?

[sighs] You can't delete those videos
from the Internet, can you?

No.

But I can delete the Internet.
Watch and learn, kid.

I'm not sure that's gonna be enough.

You're right!

-How's that?
-Yeah. Sure.

Thank you for your help, sir.

OK. One, two, three...

[Gumball] Darwin, there's no point.
The Internet has no heart, man.

It's like a goatee,
it's made out of evil.

Gumball, there's a b*ating heart
in everything.

[Gumball] Really? What about zombies?

OK, everyone apart from people
whose hearts don't b*at.

-[Gumball] What about jellyfish?
-OK. I get your point.

They technically don't have hearts
either, but everyone else does.

-[Gumball] What about lawyers?
-Ugh. Just press "record," please.

[beeps]

♪ There is a b*ating heart in everything ♪

♪ Except lawyers, zombies, and jellyfish ♪

♪ Look inside yourself, Internet ♪

♪ And I think you will see that
You are being childish ♪

♪ You are adding sombreros and lasers ♪

♪ To a kid who looks like he was tasered ♪

♪ You laugh about it thinking it's funny ♪

♪ But is it, Internet, is it really? ♪

♪ He's just a small boy
With a heart like you ♪

♪ Why do you keep on
Trying to make him blue? ♪

♪ There's a b*ating heart in everything ♪

♪ And I know that there is one in you ♪

Come on, Internet.

I know you're better than that.

What's wrong with the Internet, man?

This video goes on
for at least minutes.

That's it! I've had it with you, Internet!

I'm comin' for you!

I'm gonna go cyber warrior on your butt!

♪ Ta ta-dah-dah tun ta-tum ♪

Chh!

♪ Ta ta-dah-dah tun ta-tum ♪

Chh!

Control operator to virtual soldier.

Commencing digital scan process.

[whistling]

Scanning in progress.

Prepare to enter the Internet in...
three, two--

[screams] What the--

Abort! Abort! Abort!

Mrs. Mom was right.

We really didn't need
the high-definition scanner.

All right. Never mind.

We'll just have to find
the Internet's address

and deal with this in the normal world,
I guess.

Don't be ridiculous.
Internet is a thing, not a person.

Yeah, dude. Can't you see the difference?

[laughing]

Dumb nut.

Ha! I knew it!

The Internet lives only three blocks
from here!

-Let's go!
-[chimes]

Ooh. "One hundred funny animals in hats."

Ca-lick!

-D'aw! Aww. Aww.
-[clicking]

[both] Aww.

Aww. Oh. Oh.

-Oh. OK. Let's go.
-[chimes]

[gasps]
"One hundred greatest fails of all time"?

Ca-lick!

[both screams]

Dude, wait!
Can't you see what's happening?

The Internet is tricking us
with its deadliest w*apon--

-Time-wasting.
-You're right!

Just one more, and then we'll go!

No, no, no, no, no--

All right. Just one more.

[mumbling]

Big mistake, Internet.

That was a re-post.

Now that we're away from the computer,

there's no way the Internet
can stop us finding him!

[Internet chuckles]

[cars honking]

[crash]

Dude! The Internet's
hacked into the traffic system!

It's trying to get us creamed!
Come on! Let's run!

No.

We've been taught to always
respect the rules of the road.

These rules were invented to
protect us, and they will.

Come on. It's green.

[crash]

Wait! Stop!

Gumball!

Do you realize how dangerous that was?

If you don't respect the rules, then how
do you expect cars to drive safely?

The rules of the road are all about trust,
and you can't expect to receive trust

if you don't have any trust.

-[crash]
-Know what I mean?

See? How hard was that?

[stammering]

Never mind. Let's go.

[chimes]

Ah. "Gumball and Darwin Watterson.

Wanted for fraud, embezzlement,

unlicensed practice of medicine, and a--"

Huh? [gasps]

OK!

[tires screeching]

Hey! Come back here!

[grunts]

[panting] Wait! Stop!

I said stop!

[screaming and panting]

[coughs] Darn it.

I'm out of shape.

[Gumball] OK. We're not that far now.
It's just another block away.

[chuckles]

Hmm. What's that noise?

I don't know.

I can't hear over that vibrating sound.

[screams] Watch out!

[tires screeching]

What are we gonna do?

I don't know!
There's no way to escape the Internet!

Technology is everywhere!

Except for the park.

Yeah. Should have
thought about this earlier.

[cackles] I can be a jerk to anyone

'cause I'm behind a screen in the safety
and comfort of my own home.

[screams]

Who let you in?

Your mom!

Mom! You let enemies into my secret base?

-[computer beeps]
-[printer whirring]

You know very well
I don't have any friends!

Wow, the Internet is way less impressive
in real life than I thought it would be.

All right, dude. Delete my video now,
or you're going offline.

What? I can't!

Nothing can be deleted from the Internet!

You have five seconds. One...

Don't you realize? Think about everything
the world would lose!

-Two...
-Think about the educational content.

-Three...
-Think about the freedom of speech!

Apart from the / rd of the world
that don't have it.

-Four...
-Think about the kittens!

-Five!
-Wait, Gumball! He's right.

Think about it. [echoing]

Yo. You OK? You've been staring
at the ceiling for about minutes.

-You're so beautiful.
-Really?

Don't ever change, Internet.

You were meant to be free.

[grunts] Physical contact!

Just try and take some responsibilities
for your actions from time to time.

-Never!
-And maybe try to laugh with people

instead of always laughing at them.

Yeah. That's right. Keep hoping.

And try to remember
that other people have hearts, too.

Get bent!
This is the Internet you're talking to!

[both laughing]

Where are they? Where are they?

Where are they?

Is it really that important?

Of course it is!

This is Krupoch the Barbarian!

Without his weapons, he's... Krupoch,
the weird dude

who hangs out in furry underpants

and looks like he's angrily trying
to shake hands with people.

Like I said, is it really that important?

-Hey, who's Daniel Lennard?
-Who cares?

Him, apparently. For Mom?

Look at all this stuff he sent her.

And listen to this.

"Here's another gift because your beauty

and happiness is the most
important thing in my world.

Signed, Daniel Lennard."

That guy's trying to steal our mom!

[gasps]

♪ Dun-dun-dun-duh ♪

-We need to find him and make sure--
-[Nicole] What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Showing you how angry I am.

If I had to pull a real frown
every time you guys misbehaved,

I'd be more wrinkly
than a granny in a bath.

What are you doing spreading trash
all over the grass?

Ah...

-Re... cycling?
-Really?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Ah. Then I guess it's all right.

[door closes]

Oh, my gosh!
This is terrible! He's gonna steal Mom!

I don't feel good.

I think I'm gonna...

[gasps] OK. Sorry about that.

I think I'm better...

I'm passing out again.

[gasps] OK. I think I'm all right, no...

We should have seen this coming.

She's a great mom.

Who wouldn't want her?

We have to do something before
that guy steals her away!

I've got a plan!

First, Darwin uses his man voice
to call Mom,

pretending to be her boss and tell her
that she has to go into work...

Hello, this is your boss from the place
you work.

When she leaves the house,
we hack into her e-mail

and send a message to Daniel Lennard
posing as her

to get him to agree to a secret
meeting in the park tonight.

Then we steal some of Mom's clothes.

Then we break for lunch.
I'm thinking burritos.

Then we sneak out of the house with
the clothes and cross down to the park.

Once there, you will tell Daniel Lennard
that he's in danger...

You are in danger, Daniel Lennard.

...and that Mom is a horrible,
carnivorous monster

and you are the survivors of her
previous family.

Then I'll att*ck him disguised as Mom...

...scaring him away forever. Boom!

Hmm. That could work.

We need to make sure nothing can go wrong.

Let's go through this in detail. OK.

So, what exactly would Darwin say to Mom?

[phone ringing]

Hello? Nicole Watterson.

-Uh...
-Who is this?

OK. So we call Mom, and Darwin reads
what's on the paper.

-Hello? Nicole Watterson.
-[deep voice] Hello.

This is your boss from the place you work.

We need you to--

Uh...

[grunts] OK. So we write a script
and then call Mom from a pay phone.

Hello!
This is the boss from the place you work.

We need you to come here right away,
or you're fired!

Why? What's going on?

Is it the Kobayashi account
or is it the infrastructure problem

with the throughput outflow?

Uh...

Turn the page.

It's so serious, I can't discuss it
over the phone. Bye!

Then I get to the computer.

Come on. Let's be real for a minute.

[grunts]

OK. Then I--

I'm--

[panting]

Then I break into Mom's e-mail account.

"Dear Daniel Lennard!"

-[Anais] Dude, your caps lock is on!
-Oh. Sorry.

"Dear Daniel Lennard,
meet me at the park tonight.

It's mega-important, dude."

[Anais] Oh, come on! Have you ever heard
mom say "mega" or "dude"?

What would you say?

[Anais] Just say it's an issue
of utmost importance.

Oh!

Would you like me to CC
the Queen of England, as well?

[Anais] Just send the thing!

[sighs] "Forever yours, Gumball."

[Darwin] Dude! You just signed it
with your own name!

Oh, come on! I've already had to
re-type this thing three times!

All right. "Dear Daniel Lennard,
meet me at the park tonight.

It's an issue of utmost importance.

Forever yours, Mom."

[Anais] Come on!
Mom would never sign "Mom."

-She would sign her own name!
-Yeah. Sure.

"Dear Daniel Lennard, nah-nah-nah...

Forever yours, Nicole."

[Anais] Wait! What'd you put
in the subject?

[scraems] Can we just move on
from the e-mail bit?

Come on. Every part of the plan
has to be foolproof.

All right. It's done. I put "hello."
Lunchtime!

Hmm. Burritos are nice,
but they're kind of messy.

[Gumball] OK, next, we sneak
past Dad to get to the park.

It should be easy, he'll be asleep.

[sniffs]

Hey! Where do you think you're going?

-Why'd he wake up?
-He smelled us.

You wiped some sauce on yourself.

[sing-song] Lunchtime again.

Ah-bup-bup!
Don't forget to use your napkin.

OK, next, we sneak past Dad
to get to the park.

Hey! Where do you think you're going?

How is that even possible?

He smelled it from inside us?

[sighs] It's just not as good
without the sauce.

Why did you leave five hours to run
to a park that's only three blocks away?

Because she's got no legs.

They're more like feet coming
out of her butt.

Why don't we take bikes?

Because... it's way funnier
to watch you try to run.

[grunting]

[panting]

Oh, man!

The park's closed!

Why didn't you get in when it was open?

It was closed when we got here.

I've been waiting for four hours
for him to man up and jump.

But he's too scared!

I'm not scared!
I... just don't want to do it.

You don't want to because you're scared!

No! Not... No! Not cool!

OK! OK! Fine! I'm doing it!

OK.

Three... two... one.

[screams] Don't sit there! Help me out!
Don't leave me hanging!

Please, please! Somebody do something!

You do realize that all this is just
happening in your head, right?

Yeah, but let's just go to the shop to buy
some rope before we go to the park,

because I'm not going
through all that again.

How did they get in here
when the gate is...

Wait! No one actually tried it?

-It was shut!
-A shut door isn't a locked door!

I think we all learned that after
the Granny Jojo dressing-room incident.

What kind of weirdo gets dressed
hat-first?

Anyway, which one is Daniel Lennard?

We'll know when we see him, but right now,
let's just imagine what he would be.

Well, we already saw from his note
that he's pretty slimy.

We also know he's rich,
so he must be full of bling.

Also, he's probably evil.

Hmm. No. More evil.

No. Even more evil.

Yeah. That's our Daniel Lennard.

OK. Everyone put on their disguises.

[Anais] Uh, Mr. Lennard?

Yes? Indeed.

There's no way Mom would fall for a guy
with a voice like that.

Evil voice!

Yes, indeed?

Uh, we need to warn you, good sir.

Oh. but it's you who should be warned.

I came for you!

[screaming]

Darwin! Help me!

Stay away from us!

[laughs]

We're not gonna make it!

-Do you trust me?
-Of course!

Then go!

You throw worse than I run.

You thought you could trick me?

How does he know about our plan?

Because next time you plan
to get rid of me, don't write

"Fake e-mail to Daniel Lennard"
in the subject line!

I couldn't be bothered, all right?

I'd written that e-mail
a million times already!

Ugh. Fine.

All right. It's done. I've put "Hello."

-[screams]
-Gumball, I am you from the future.

And I know it's a total bummer, but you're
gonna have to correct the subject line.

Can't you do it? You're here now.

Gosh, was I really that much of a jerk
when I was young?

[Anais] Yep!

Gosh, am I really that much
of a sucker in the future?

Don't mess with me, little man!
'Cause I can go back in time and do this.

[screams]

So you think you're the only one
that can play that game, huh?

Let's see how you feel
after I've had all Dad's candy.

Just stop! You're giving me cavities!

[screams] What the--

Krupoch's weapons?

Fine! You asked for this!

[coughs]

You treacherous little--

Aah! You put tape on it?

You left the weapons on!

Change the subject of the e-mail.

OK! OK!

Or maybe I'll do this!

[screams]

[cracks, grunts]

You do realize that
this is costing you guys

way more effort than just changing
the message subject?

Yeah, I'm still having trouble with that
hypothetical future/past thing.

You are in danger, Daniel Lennard.

How do you know my name? Who are you?

We're all that is left from
Nicole Watterson's previous family.

What? What about your father?

She took all his money, and then...
She ate him!

[whispers] And now she's coming for you.

[growls]

-[grunts]
-OK. You're gonna have to dodge that.

OK. You're gonna have to dodge that, too.

OK. That, as well.

No, dude!
You're not gonna be able to dodge that!

Ah, man.

[both screaming] No!

Gumball.

No.

I think this plan is...

Finally foolproof.

-Yay!
-Yay!

Right! Let's get our mom back!

Wait! What is that?

"Daniel Lennard Anti-aging Products?"

[gasps] Wait.

"Here's another gift
because your beauty and happiness is

the most important thing in my world.

Signed, Daniel Lennard."

If I had to pull a real frown
every time you guys misbehaved,

I'd be more wrinkly
than a granny in a bath.

Daniel Lennard is not a man.

He's a brand of cosmetics.

[theme music playing]