02x02 - The Writing on the Wall

[bunniefuu]

-Hello.
-Say, I've been thinking.

-Hey, Mom.
-Hello.

Thanks for getting back to me.
I just wanted to talk to you about Joey.

-Not open.
-I spoke with Roman.

He'd rather the investigation go away
than have the state get involved in it.

Gee, that's good to hear
because that's what I wanted to tell you.

I've had time to think clearly.

You people can say what you want
but if anyone comes to investigate me...

...I'm just gonna tell the truth.

Whoa, we're all telling
the essential truth.

No, I'm talking about the real truth.

I've got too much to live for to get
caught up in some rinky-dink cover-up.

What are you doing
at a Laundromat?

Laundromat? What do you mean?

What, your washing machine
break down?

I'm at the gas station.

Says Bowman's Laundromat.

-Says where?
-The caller ID.

On my phone, the thing on front that
tells you who's calling and from where.

-How do I look? Yes? No?
-Gee, honey, you look great.

But everyone in my classes
are in their early 20s.

I like being older.
I just don't wanna look it.

Hey, don't eat that for breakfast.

Good morning.

Nicki, my last class is at 4.
Would you mind cooking?

-Tonight?
-Thanks.

Benny.

I'm so nervous. Yes? No?

Lose the scarf.

-Where's Dad?
-He's looking for you.

It's a good Danish. Homemade?
We'll see you later.

Work's a blessing. Remember, we're
co-partners with our heavenly Father.

It's up to us to face the work
he left undone.

-Harvesting the oceans, mining the coal.
-Yes, sir.

Work and industry are our
particular trademarks as a people.

-I don't want any special treatment.
-Good. No boss's-son favoritism.

And how are you doing?

-I'm okay. Did I do something wrong?
-No.

Mom said she wanted
to meet my girlfriend.

Brynn?

I'd like to meet her too.

Is she pretty?

Yeah.

The thing is...

...is I don't want her
to meet just you and Mom.

I want her to meet everybody.

I want her to meet everyone too.

Brynn knows, Dad.

She kind of figured it out.

It's okay.

I just really want her to meet all of us.

Okay.

Hey, here it is.

Here it comes.

What the heck?

Pull over. Check your blind spot.
Pull over.

-The sign d*ed.
-I know, I know.

I called the sign company.
They're sending a crew to restore it.

When? Every hour,
a thousand cars pass by.

Let's say half have no clue
what it means.

-The other half--
-They're sending a crew in half an hour.

-Did you drive in on State Street?
-We know, we know.

Go down to supervise.
Make sure it's completely taken care of.

-All right.
-Do you notice who isn't at work today?

Gee, someone named Wendy.
It's not like her to be late or miss a day.

It just happens to be the day
our sign is defaced.

Oh, come on, she couldn't climb
a 40-foot ladder.

No one's saying she climbed up there
herself. But she knows and she talks.

-Anyone might have overheard.
-Oh, that scrawny witch.

What about the other eight signs?

Two were okay.
They're checking the others.

This one is the most visible.
Most prominent.

-The one that hurts the most.
-I know. Just go. Supervise.

Make sure it gets done. We got that
Sherwin-Williams meeting at 1 1.

-lf you go now, you can be back in time.
-Great.

Sorry, folks. It's a necessary interruption.
Sorry, darling.

Joey.

So you left me a message
about Mom?

It would behoove us
if you went over to see her.

-What?
-Behoove. I spoke with her an hour ago...

...and she's threatening to deviate
from the party line.

-How so?
-She's spinning around on a tear.

"I've got to tell the truth."

All of a sudden
she's some sort of Betsy Ross.

Just get over there
and talk some sense into her.

You hear me?

So you want me to go talk to Mom?

She thinks I bully her.
But she's protective of you.

So play to her sympathies.
Sugar her up.

But get her back into the fold.

-Got it.
-We stick to the story.

Joey, I have exposure here.

I don't have to tell you
but I went out on a limb for you on this.

You're talking to Mr. Cover-up.
Obstruction of justice...

...accessory after the fact, understand?

Look, I gotta go.
This is one of those days.

I'll talk to her, Bill.

Tomorrow, there'll be a vote
on a UEB matter...

...which you will not tell Bill about.

After that, we'll see.

Joey, it's gonna be okay.
Everything is gonna work out just fine.

We've got them all now.
All of them can be prosecuted.

None of them will be prosecuted.

I'm instructing our police
to wind up any investigation.

Joey Henrickson is now our pawn.

This is more important
to our holy people.

I have built this holy order up
from a nothing burgher...

...to a thriving community
of thousands of righteous souls.

And I am not about to invite
some sideshow investigation--

But they poisoned me
and there were all in on it.

I don't care if they got up on the table
and danced the Tootsie Wootsie.

It's over.

Drop it.

Albert.

It would not be a smooth move
to poke a stick in you father's eye.

Do you understand?

Yes, Mother.

It's Barb.

-Hello.
-Did you deposit that $325...

...in the house account that I advanced
to you for the rug shampooer...

...that you said you'd deposit?

-No.
-Nicki, darn it.

I'm sorry, Barb, I forgot.

My tuition check bounced.

-I'm really, really sorry, but I forgot.
-I would appreciate it...

...if you can make the deposit today.

Do you have the money?

-Do you have the money, Nicki?
- Yes.

I mean, it's just a bounced check.

Is making a deposit...

-...something you think you'll be able to do?
-Yes.

Thank you, goodbye.

And I hope you're still going to your
Debtor's Anonymous classes.

I'm not saying we're not happy
to have you back in the fold, Barb...

...but I find that really offensive.

I cannot believe
the nerve of that woman.

Do you have $60?

I need to make some stupid deposit
for Barb.

Toxicology reports.

Physicians' notes.

Kidney scans.

Antifreeze att*cks a kidney.

My kidneys
are now susceptible to failure.

Here's a note they put around me.

They poisoned you
but then took you to the hospital.

Yes, sir.

I'm not saying it adds up.

The criminal mind is not rational.

These are dangerous people, sir.

And the Juniper Creek Police Department
has been running an investigation?

Yes.

You know anything about this, Rod?
J.C.P.P. contact you?

No. Nothing.

The Juniper Creek Police Department,
in my opinion, is struggling.

They don't really have the manpower
or the resources.

I completed two years of law school
and I have some idea of the demands...

...of a proper, well-staffed investigation.

And Roman Grant is your father.

Yes, sir.

I'd prefer people not know
I initiated this...

...at this juncture.

Perhaps you could...

...say it was referred by the hospital.

Twenty. Forty. Fifty-one, 52.

sh**t. I miscounted.

I need another 40.

Thanks.

-Hello.
-Nicki?

Wanda?

Nicki, can you help us?
It's dangerous here, Nicki.

It's too dangerous.
We're being followed...

...and we gotta get away.
But the car is broke...

-...and the fuel pump's busted.
-Wanda, come down.

I can't come to the compound now
but I could get you a fuel pump.

There are buses
that go to Phoenix all day.

I could Western Union
you some money.

We can't get into town to pick it up.

Please, Nicki, can you come?

Get us to the bus station.
Get us a ticket. Everybody's watching us.

Please, Nicki.

Can you come help?

You know what?

Stay put.
I'll be there in a couple of hours.

You're going to the compound?

Why not go somewhere
where I'm needed.

-No.
-Please?

Margie, I don't have time
for this right now.

I wanna help you.

I wanna see your home.

-You'll have to put some clothes on.
-Sarah will watch the boys.

Did Wanda really poison your brother?

-I think so.
-Why?

You met him.

Now step on it.

Well, happy anniversary to me.

Oh, Nicki.

Oh, I am so sorry.

No, it's too late.

-It's ruined.
-It's just-- It's been so rough lately.

Oh, no, no, no. Don't protect them.
No excuses.

All the more reason, anyway.

But Bill's been so busy
and it's Barb's first day of school.

It's a really exciting thing,
having a first day of school.

You know what's exciting, Margene?

Having an anniversary.

You'll never know how much it matters.
How much it means until you've been hurt.

Hey.

So, what's so important?

My family believes in the
everlasting covenant of plural marriage.

What's that?

Six years ago, my mom got really sick...

...and someone came to nurse her
and take care of her...

...and her name is Nicki.

And I really liked her and so did my Dad
and Mom too.

And my dad perceived a testimony.

My mom's family believed
in the covenant a hundred years ago.

You're a polygamist?

Yes.

-We're totally normal.
-That's not normal, Ben.

So how many moms do you have?

Three.

Three.

Sir, excuse me. That sign?
Did you see someone defacing it?

Painting over it?

Burger buffet start one hour.

How could they've not shown up yet?
It's 1 1 :45. It's been two hours.

All right, just stay put.
No, just stay put.

I'm going down to join Don.
Call Dewey Owens and find out--

I'm not calling Dewey Owens.
Have the ad agency do it.

Our head rep's on vacation.
Make the call.

-I've called their maintenance department.
-What do you want me to say?

That we demand better service.

-We'll take our business elsewhere.
-There is no elsewhere.

Dewey Owens controls every billboard in
the state and half the rest of the country.

Call them and you risk attention
to something...

...you don't want attention drawn to.

Unless they know
or they're behind it somehow...

...in which case it's a call
beyond my pay grade.

Why are you worried?
It's my name. It's my face up there.

Maybe that wasn't the best idea.

This is a family-run business
and it has served all of us very well.

I'm just saying I can't stay on...

...if everything around here
turns into a bunker mentality.

-Well--
-Hello.

Barb.

I thought I'd swing by
and surprise you.

-ls it a good time?
-Good. Good.

Peg, you have a call to make.

I'll see you in a few minutes, honey.

It's nothing. You know Peg.

Oh, my goodness.

I parked my car in the wrong lot
and got a ticket.

Had my first Elemental Psych class.
Had my hot chocolate in the commons.

I signed a petition
to ban animal testing...

...just because I felt like it.
It's been the best day of my life, Bill.

I love being back at the U.

Look at you, you're all aglow.

-Hello.
-Barb, I only got a sec.

-Margene.
-Problem. Big problem.

Are you all right?
Are the boys all right?

You and Bill forgot Nicki's anniversary and
she is totally, completely ticked off royal.

-Jiminy Crickets.
-What is it?

-A problem. Big problem.
-Barb, what is it?

We forgot Nicki's anniversary.

Well, why didn't you remind me?

Excuse me?

Margie, just put Nicki
on the phone.

Hi, hon-- Oh, I got to go.

Margie, can you pinch-hit
and cook a dinner for tonight?

Oh, no I can't. Barb, honestly.

Please, I've got my first statistics class
at 4. And where are you?

I'm doing errands with Nicki.

sh*t. Oh, sorry. I gotta go.

Who were you talking to?

Oh, no one.

I know exactly what you were doing.

Well, it's not gonna change a thing.

What did you find out?

Who forgot first? Which one?

Oh, both. They both forgot.

Nicki.

In 1 8 years...

...I've never forgotten an anniversary.

Well, we'll make it right.

We'll go out.
We'll go out to a restaurant.

No, we're not gonna go
to some restaurant.

Nicki loves lamb chops and strawberries
and that's what we're having.

And that coconut cake she likes.

That's how we celebrate anniversaries.

-I don't want you to miss class.
-Don't worry, I'm not.

I gonna go home and get dinner ready
and then class.

There's one anniversary and four adults,
I think we can manage a dinner.

Awfully happy to see you.

Honey, hi. I need your help.

I gotta do a cake for Nicki,
it's her anniversary.

I don't know where Margene is
or when she's getting back.

Get some meat marinating,
two sticks of butter out to soften.

-Hi.
-Oh, Heather.

-Hi, I didn't see you.
-I have to go.

I have to take Heather home.

How are you feeling, Mrs. Henrickson?

-Fine.
-I thought you had a class?

I thought you were trying
to get a life.

Nicki and Margie are out,
doing whatever...

...and you're giving up your plans
for Dad's anniversary with Nicki. Mom.

Actually, it's partly my anniversary too.

Oh, it's all right. I'm comfortable.

I think it happens
in every kind of marriage.

-What?
-Just-- We have to be careful...

...that the men
don't overstep their bounds.

I'm sorry,
if you don't wanna talk about it--

No. It's all right.

And it just must be tough
with so many people to take care of.

No. No, actually it's easier.

There are more hands to help, so we
actually have more time to be individuals.

I hope you find
your AWOL sister-wife.

Heather.

How the heck are we supposed
to defend ourselves...

...without dignifying the accusations...

...when our attackers are cowards?
At least if we knew who it was.

Try to remember how the Romans
persecuted the early followers of Jesus.

It puts our trials in perspective.

Makes you wanna throw in the towel.

Go live on some abusive compound
and say to hell with it.

Do you think my face
should be up there?

It's your store, Bill.

You didn't answer my question.

We're vulnerable, is all.

There's limits to what we can do.

We'll never assimilate.

Barb came by the office,
I couldn't tell her about this.

She still blames herself for that mess
at the governor's mansion.

Nicki, terrified by the outing.

Today was Nicki's anniversary,
which we both completely forgot.

My son saw the sign.

This thing's coming down now.

A woman just ran into to a big hole.

This whole place
looks like Mammy Yoakum.

Marg...

...I don't make fun
of where you come from.

Hello?

Wanda?

Wanda.

Joey?

Hi, hi.

I'm so glad you're here.

-Look, I brought Marg.
-Hi.

-Nicki.
-Oh, God, help me.

-Wanda, what have you gone and done?
-No.

He was sick.
All night he was going to the bathroom...

...and then this morning it got worst.

I think its food poisoning.
It's the E. coli.

-He's drunk.
-No, he's not.

Nicki, he's completely drunk
out of his mind.

I can't go through this again.
I can't go there again.

-Where's the bathroom?
-It's in the back.

Help us get away
and everything will be okay.

Time to sober up.
Oh, Nicki, he's heavy.

-When did he start?
-I don't know?

I came home and he was like this.

Then I called you and....
What are we gonna do, Nicki?

-I don't know. I don't know.
-You gotta help us get away.

-Okay? Okay.
-Okay.

Marg.

We'll get him dressed and we're
gonna take them to the bus station.

That is completely nuts, these two can't--

Marg, just stop. A plan has been made
and it's under way.

Now, we're taking them
to the bus station.

These two won't last two seconds
in the real world.

Nicki.

Oh, it's just the--

-It's the state.
-What do we do?

What do we do?

Dewey Owens are tough costumers.

They police our billboards
for suggestive content...

...anything they deem racy
or immoral.

I haven't dealt with the son,
but the old man is worse.

Everyone we deal with
is a potential landmine.

What is it those in WWl got?

-Shellshock? French warfare?
-Forget it. It doesn't matter.

-Hello.
-Margie, honey. Hi, listen.

I need you to help Barb out tonight
with Nicki's anniversary dinner.

Nicki and I are at the compound.

-We're at Joey and Wanda's.
-What do you mean?

-I went with Nicki, I'm here.
-But I don't want you there.

I know. But I'm okay, I'm fine.

That's not the point.

I never wanted you to know that place.
Put Nicki on the phone.

Oh, the state police are here. Hold on.

What?

Nicki, it's Bill.

Tell him exactly what's going on.
Just do it, Nicki.

-You'll love Phoenix.
-But I don't wanna go.

Wanda, the cops are here.
You've gotta help.

I love you, but we're going.

-Hello, Bill.
-I can't get there, Nicki.

Not in time, you've got to deal with this.
Do you understand?

You've got to keep Wanda under control.

You gotta drive.

We're under siege.
We're under att*ck.

State police are crawling
all over the compound.

Stop, stop. Get the plane on the runway.

They're upon us.

-What is it? What's going on?
-State police.

Is this the end of days, Papa?

The best chicken in the world.

Hello.

Mom, I don't want any crap.
I want a clean yes or no answer.

I don't care for your tone.

And I don't care. Did you
or did you not call the state police?

About what?

About the poisoning investigation.
Left. Left.

I most certainly did not
and I resent the notion.

Well, someone did.

The sheriff's department are
at Joey and Wanda 's now.

The sheriff's department.

The sheriff's department.
I gotta go.

No, what exactly do they know?

I don't know what they know.

I've been interviewed three times
by the Juniper Creek Police.

I've been told
they claim to have witnesses.

It's a vendetta. I don't know why.

This not the first time.

There have been others. Frank Harlow.

Someone tried to poison him
a few months ago.

He almost d*ed. He's in Mexico now.

But Lois Henrickson, his wife,
she can tell you all about it.

And she lives just right up there.

Bill?

No, that might be a problem...

...because I believe the cops
are headed to our house right now.

Okay. On it.

These knuckleheads
are my little brothers.

That's Wayne, Raymond and Aaron
and that big guy over there is Lester.

That's Teenie,
she wants to be a trendsetter.

Hello.

Sarah?

Mom.

Benny.

Hi.

This is Brynn.

Brynn...

...welcome.

Sit. Sit.

-How are you?
-Fine, thank you.

Oh, good.

I've really been looking forward
to meeting you.

An anniversary.

Happy anniversary. How many years?

Six. Sixteen. Nineteen.

-Nineteen.
-Mom.

-She knows.
-Oh, she knows.

Well...

...what are you studying?

I graduated.

I'm working a semester
before going to college.

College.

Do you cook?

Yeah.

We're actually fraternal twins.

But it's odd
because we look a lot alike.

So he's probably the most devout
of all my brothers.

He became bishop at 27.
But he's a good guy.

He and this doughnut are the two things
that understand me.

I don't know,
I think the doughnut thinks you're weird.

So listen, there's that Toto concert
on campus next week.

Why don't you pick us up
a couple tickets at the student union?

I'll pay.

No, I mean, hey,
it doesn't have to be a date if you....

Do I have to show lD to get tickets?

Scott?

What?

I have something to confess.

I'm not at the U.

I'm at Kamora...

...High School in Sandy.

How old are you really?

Eighteen. I'm 1 8.

Everything else is true.
Me, Sarah, my three moms.

Don't hate me.

Ten years older isn't that big a deal.

You should've just told me
the truth, Sarah.

I mean,
we could have still been friends.

You should be more honest...

...with the people
you start relationships with.

That girl actually went
and fingered me.

She fingered me.

No.

Not really, not intentionally. She's....

And Joey, drunk.

What is happening to this family?

It's Nicki's anniversary.

She went after him like a spider.

Well, we're celebrating tonight.

What are you celebrating for?
It's got nothing to do with you.

Yes, it does.

I don't understand how you all
can like each other so much.

Me and my sister-wives....

Always held themselves apart.

I think they were jealous of me.

I tried.

It's a pity.

I had so much to give.

See you after class, Mom.

Mrs. Henrickson.

Wendy.

I apologize for coming
and invading your privacy.

May I please speak to you?

Yes, of course.

Raymond, honey, get inside.

Our son, Raymond.

The last three weeks
have been just a nightmare for me...

...as I know they have for you.

But I am not responsible for
what happened at the governor's mansion.

I didn't do it.

Why were you there?

I don't know.

Something made me go.

Mr. Henrickson
doesn't believe I didn't do it.

He's had me followed.
I got into a car accident because of it.

-Bill wouldn't do that.
-Well, then...

...Peg or Don Embry.

They're both very angry people.

They're both out to persecute me.
Out to get me.

I'm afraid to leave my house because
every time I do I'm followed by a Hummer.

Please, could you talk to Mr. Henrickson,
tell him I didn't do it?

I do not approve...

...of plural marriage.

But I couldn't do something like that.

Please?

Yes.

I'll talk to him.

Thank you very much.

Home Plus is us.

-I like that ad.
-Thank you.

-But it's defaced and we need it tended to.
-And it will be. Of course it will be.

-When?
-Well, I guess around Thursday.

Oh, Thursday's too late. We're
a small company, not a large account.

Two stores, eight billboards.
Each billboard matters to us.

You're lucky
that you have a billboard at all.

Remember Lady Bird Johnson?
Prune-face.

Now, people think that Hillary
was the worst first lady.

Prune-face tried to destroy
the billboard industry.

Banning billboards as an eyesore
is a direct frontal as*ault...

...on the First Amendment
and free speech.

Thursday's too late.

I got over 3,000 billboards.

This happens all the time.

I've got three DQ billboards
with scrotums on the dilly bars.

Now, your boards have no nudity,
no profanity...

...it's just some old Mormon joke.

It's not a joke to us.

Our mission statement is
we are homegrown, family-owned.

It's what gives us an edge.
A leg up over Lowe's and Wal-Mart.

Our image is everything.

You seem awfully concerned with image.
Why are you taking this so personal?

I'm a paying customer.

And I said I'd get to it.

If we're associated with that foul practice,
we'd lose business.

All right, just calm down, all right?

I won't calm down.

And another thing, it's not right to defame
the first lady of the United States.

It's wrong. It's petty and viscous
and small-minded.

Bill.

And you should learn to respect
everyone.

Now, fix our damn sign.

Hello.

Hello, Barbara?

Rhonda?

Hi.

I miss you.

I know I was very ill-behaved
when I was with you.

I told lies.

I was angry and selfish
and God said I needed to atone.

Oh, honey--

I love you, Barbara.

I'm sorry for what happened to you
at the governor's mansion.

And I hope you feel better soon.

We're decent men.
We shouldn't have to cower to anybody.

"Should" has nothing to do with it.

You're way off-track, Bill. You're messing
with our lives and our livelihood.

You know what the stores
are worth now?

Well, just imagine what they'd be worth if
we were really exposed in the public eye.

I fell trapped. I mean, look at us.
Look how far we've come.

The American dream, right?

Work hard, play by the rules.
I can't go backwards.

It's not the life I was called to lead.

I just want a normal existence
without fear of retribution.

Bill, I've got 1 6 mouths to feed.

I know that.

Don, I take responsibility for your family
the same way I do mine.

I'd mortgage my own houses
before I see you take a hit.

I can't go this alone.

I'll go the distance till the end,
you know that.

But I need to make sure
that the end is later rather than sooner.

-How much do we owe them.
-I told them 65 bucks apiece.

Hey, Dad, what time is it?

-5:45.
-No, 9:25.

Well, I can see how you think that
but you see...

...the little hand is the hour hand
and the big hand is the minutes.

-Hi.
-Hi, I thought you had class.

I just stayed home instead.

Boys, can you go in the other room
and play for a minute?

Come on, go on.

I think they got me Legos.

What is it?

Nicki and Margie
went to the compound.

-Why?
-Well, apparently...

...Joey fell off the wagon pretty bad.

Oh, Bill.

I know.

Hey.

-For me?
-Happy anniversary.

The guy at Brodsky's
said it was waterproof but I don't know.

Thank you.

I know it's not enough...

...for the sacrifices you make every day.

Sorry, you missed your class.

I didn't mind.

What?

Just poor Joey and Wanda.

They're all they've got.

No other spouses to lean on.

How are they gonna make through
this crisis with only each other?

And then she just ran into...

...a hole in the ground.

I'm sorry for forgetting, hon.

You just busted me too soon.
I always remember by 2 or 3.

Yes, when I remind you.

There's more strawberries.

It's fine. Really, it's fine.
I didn't care.

I'm just glad the day worked out
the way it did.

And thank God I was there, Bill.

Thank God.

I can only imagine what
could've happened if I hadn't been.

I saw the sign...

-...on the way out of town.
-It's been taken care of.

I don't want Barb to know.
Or Margie.

I don't want any of you to worry.

How was your day?

Fine.

I'm sorry I forgot.

I just think anniversaries
are important.

We're all we've got.

-Nicki, I love you.
-Oh, and I love you too, Barb.

Barb...

...I didn't marry for love.

I married for the principle.

I didn't.

I tried. I don't know that I have
a testimony for the principle.

But I love you.
I love our family more and more.

That frightens me.

I don't know that a marriage
based on love can go the distance.

The sacred holiness of the institution...

...the sanctity of marriage.

Without it, it's just random couplings
with no purpose...

...or stick-to-it-iveness.

I mean, how will we survive
the bad times on just love?

Happy anniversary.

Happy anniversary.

Wendy Hunt
was followed by a Hummer.

I know.

We can't do that, Nicki.

I know.

You'd do anything for this family.

You would too.

Wow, what a beauty.

Look at that case?

Need a charger.

We'd like to speak to your wife again.

She's not in.

We have a search warrant.

She's not the one you want.

I'm the one who did it.

I poisoned Albert Grant.