01x03 - The Stall

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Poker Face". Aired: January 26, 2023 - present.
A mystery-of-the-week series following Charlie Cale, who has an extraordinary ability to determine when someone is lying.
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01x03 - The Stall

Post by bunniefuu »


I'm a m*rder.

Look, Lou, I'm not yanking your chain, okay.

Matter of fact, I just closed on a massive beef rub deal.

I got a license deal with McCormick.

All we need is a few John Hancocks,

and the green will start rolling in.

g*dd*mn it, Taffy,

do you know who you borrowed from?

These are Dallas people.

They send someone down to deal with you,

they're gonna deal with you!

I got another call comin' in, but hear me out.

Just tell 'em everything's gonna be okay.

It's just, it's all in escrow, man.

Alright, I'll talk to you. Bye.


Taffy Boyle speakin'.

Oh, hi.
This is Michael Larson

from Port Arthur Bank and Trust,

and I just wanted to go over...


♪ Got in a little trouble ♪

♪ At the county seat ♪

♪ Lawd, they put me in the jailhouse ♪

Jamie, how's your ma doing?

Oh, her back's not so good.

Aw, shucks, you know, I'm gonna give her

a shoutout on the show tonight.

That'd make her week, Taff.

Sheriff, you better
have a warrant

the way you harassing
that meat right there.

Brisket's so good,
ought to be illegal.

Look here, everybody:

Don't forget to floss.

And remember what
we like to say,

you know what our slogan is:

"We'll put the meat
in between your teeth,

but you gonna get it out."

Where have you been?

Come on, Mandy. Look,
I'm not a teleporter.

I got here as soon as I can.

You need to talk
to your brother.

He's just been standing
in the meat locker

like some kind of ghost.

He's your husband.
You know how he gets.

What's the problem
now? What, the new kid,

he used hickory
instead of apple wood?

This is different, Taffy.

I've never seen him like this.

Hey, George.

We have built a
temple of carnage.

You bet your ass,
brother, we have.

Oh, whoa, wait a minute.

Uh, look, look here, George,

when we done with
this beef rub deal,

okay, how about,

how about you and
Mandy take a vacation,

go to the Gulf and celebrate.

It'd be your second honeymoon.

Matter of fact, here, I got
the contract right here.

We can get everything
done right...

I don't need a vacation.

I need out.

You need o-o-out of what?

Out of all of it.

The restaurant,
the beef rub deal,

the self-perpetuating
cycle of endless cruelty.

I'm going vegan, Taffy.

Y-y-you're going vegan?

I no longer want to participate

in the sale of animal products.

Okay, uh, George,

you're a renowned pitmaster.

Your whole dang life has
been animal products.

Which is why this
is hard for me.

I'd like to take my
half of the business

and begin the next
phase of my journey.

Come on, man, you know
I can't buy you out.

I don't save like you.

I already spoke to
JJ Ruskin in town,

and he could take a
look at our books.

He'll give us a fair shake.

What the f*ck do JJ Ruskin
know about our books?

Huh? Why the f*ck
are you talking to...

He don't know... Look here,
let me tell you something,

I do my books a special way

It's only a certain
way I can understand.

JJ Ruskin not gonna understand
how to do my f*cking...

Hey, we're going
to figure this out.

Alright? Don't worry.

But this is happening.

Mandy, I feel like...

like everything's
closing in, you know?

I don't know what to do.


Now look here, y'all know
I love to run my mouth.

But you have to know
that my brother George

is the real genius.

That's right. He could
take a piece of meat

and make it into
something divine.

And you know what make
George so good at what he do?

Is how much he cares
about the details.

Now look, I thought I'd
come by one last time,

to see if I can convince
you to change your mind.


You sure?

I'm sure.

How about we do
this, let's, let's...

Why don't we just
sit here and enjoy...

this beautiful sunset.


Daddy's a*.

Remember all those

competitions we would have?

- Mm-hmm.
- I could not b*at you once.

I could not hold a candle
to my brother George.

And Daddy damn sure made
sure I knew that too.

Well, what good's a mean brisket

without butts on the benches.

You and Mandy made this place,

came up with the radio show.

Floss. People love the floss.

Yeah, they do love that floss.

You know, people
take it home and...

use it with they own food.

I'm really going to miss you.

I really am.

You're going to be
alright without me.

I know.

Everybody! Why don't we give
it up for my brother George.

♪ Why don't you try
the vibration? ♪

♪ It's number one
in the nation ♪

Taffy, what are you
still doing here?

- You're on in five.
- I'm going. I'm going.

Don't get your
panties in a twist.

♪ I said it's uptight,
alright, yeah ♪

♪ I got the feeling, yeah ♪

♪ Baby, make it alright ♪

♪ Got to do the vibration ♪

She's all ready
for you, Mr. Boyle.

I appreciate that, Austin.

And here you go, here's a
little something for you.


Enjoy that.

Hey, there, come on,

Belgrade, hmm?

Pineland. Carthage.

And any other straggler
that's tuning in.

You know what it is? It's your
source for everything barbecue.


And I'm your favorite host...

Taffy Boyle.

But enough about me. I
want to hear from you.

Caller, you're on the line.

Got some happy
customers here, Taff.

Say hi, everyone.

Hi, everyone!

Hello, everyone. Back to you.

Now, look, that voice sounded
really familiar to me.

Is that who I think it is,
my sister-in-law Mandy Boyle?

Hey, Mandy. Won't
you do me a favor?

Kick off the show with
the first question.

What you eatin' there, Luce?

Best damn hot
links in the state.

Ooh, best damn hot
links in the state.

You know, so one of
my favorite things

at Boyle Barbecue
is the hot links,

and that's what this
show should be about.

So I think tonight we
ought to talk about

how the sausage gets made.

And I mean it literally.

Now, you guys know I
love to run my mouth,

but you have to know
that my brother George

is the real genius.

That's right. He could
take a piece of meat

and make it into
something divine.

And you know what make
George so good at what he do?

Is how much he cares
about the details.

We used to buy our
hot links from a farm

that shall go unnamed.

But my brother
George had a problem

with the texture of the casing.

He said to me, "Taffy,

from now on, we're sourcing
our own intestines..."

the intestine casing,
they're thinking about

the meat inside, and
that's a mistake.

The intestine is
like a beautiful ship

that brings the
meat on a journey...


real careful, real gentle,

so they never see it comin'.

Hey! Where the
f*ck you come from.


Shh. Shh.

Get away from me.

Shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

I bet
that's why folks like yourselves

keep comin' back
again and again.

At Boyle's, we do
everything we can

to make sure every last bite
is damn near perfection.

And I want you all
to know, we're mighty grateful to you.

Well, I hope that
answered your question

but I've been goin' on about
hot links for long enough.


I think it's about time
we take another call.

How you feel about that?

I-I-I think it's, uh...

I think it's time that we
take another call, okay?

How about that?

- Oh, here we go.
- Taffy Boyle.

Nobody should know that
much about sausages.

Oh, come on. Is that
you again, Mandy?

You gotta give somebody
else a opportunity to talk.

Come on, now.

Well, I just had to call in

and tell you what a
damn windbag you are.

Oh, now I'm a windbag.

I really love that, huh.

Let me tell you something,

let you know now, if you
thought that was a lot,

we get plenty of more
show where that came from.

So you better buckle
up, little lady.

buckled up, Taffy.

No more long rants
about sausages.

Another great show, Taffy.

It's all about the
details, my friend.

All about the details.

Uh, hey.

Hi. How you doing? Hi.
Your dog is in my car.

Uh, we don't have a dog.

We're a gas station.


Okay. Go on. Disperse.



Out. Let's go. Out the car.

Out the car.

This was a fun bit, but,
ow, it's time to go. Go!

Oh geez, you're so strong.
What's wrong with you?

Ow, geez.

Oh wow, look at this.

Yummy, yummy pork rinds.

All doggies like that.

Come on. A little
Hansel and Gretel.

Okay. You know what?

A little company might be nice.

Ugh. Ugh.

You know what, I'm
having some hard regrets

My hospitality.

Oh, Jesus. Okay,
you know what,

how about some music. Yeah?

Tame the savage whatever.


Did you know
85 percent of Mexicans

have criminal records.

- They're erasing us folks.
- Bullshit.

Us real Americans.


Every day the
wall goes unfinished...

This is what you
want to listen to.

And rapists arrive

on our hallowed soil.

MAGA dog. Perfect.

Malfeasance on
the part of the government.

Listen carefully, Patriots.

The truth train's-a-comin'.

And there she bl*ws, every
hour on the quarter here

at the Deep State Dispatch.

Oh my god, I'm snapping.
Okay? This is me snapping.

I am snapping right here.

You r*cist, h*m*,
anti-Semitic, flatulent,

just... bad dog.

Bad dog!

Yeah, I said it. Uh-huh.

Oh, now you want to get out?

Oh, okay.

You bet your goose-stepping
fascist dog ass.

Very good. Go build a wall,
you jackboot piece of shit.


Oh f*ck.


Hey, hey. Hey, hey,
you. Is that your dog?

Uh, no.

Okay. I just saw you let it
out. What do you mean, no?

That dog has ate $300 worth of
food, and you're gonna pay for it.

It was a couple of sausages.
Where did you get that math?

Look here, we got a problem, I'll go tell
the sheriff. He's right at table five.

There is no need to jump
to extremes. I just, uh...

I typically don't carry
around that kind of cash.

How much would you say
a spare tire is worth?

Hey, what's the problem here?

The problem is, is that
her little mangy mutt

has ate half a steer.

Okay, look, that
dog is an assh*le.

There's no daylight between
us on that. I just...

Look, I'm kind of broke, and
I could really use a break.

We could always use a
extra hand in the pit.

George, okay, we're not
hiring some vagabond. Come on.

What do you say? Huh?

Work a shift, we call it square.

If you like it, you stay on.

Barbecue means many
things around the world.

But in Texas, it means beef.

And we like to
keep things simple.

Meat, salt, pepper,

and the fourth ingredient, wood.

Now, our main smokers
use a blend of hickory,

apple, mesquite, and cherry.

which one is this?

George, I got no idea.

Good barbecue is
like a symphony,

playing on all five senses,

and a skilled conductor

can pick out each
and every note.

When in doubt, try tasting it.

Ha, ha. You're adorable.

The reason brisket
needs eight hours

is because of the stall.

What's the stall?

The first hour or two,

the temperature is
steadily increasing

until you reach about 160.

Then you can get stuck there

for about four,
five, even six hours.

See, the stall is where a...

kind of alchemy takes place.

You pull it at 210,

let it rest for an hour,

and always slice

against the grain.

Now, you see that look
on your face right there,

that's what it's all about.


So what's up with all the
floss? It's everywhere.

Taffy's big innovation
and our trademark quirk.

- I think it's great.
- Bullshit.

Okay, I hate it.

We do all this

and we leave our customers

with a putrid chemical cinnamon.

It's a... air horn
at the symphony.


Meat poet. Look at you.

These animals
give their lives,

and I believe in
honoring their sacrifice

by using every
last part of them.

Are those, uh...



It is my absolute favorite
thing that we make here.

I use pecan just for this.

An unusual wood.

Hey. That smells different.



Does Mandy ever stay
up here with you?

Hmm. She prefers
the house in town.

Must get boring.


Alone at night...

I do my best thinking.

You can hear what the universe
is trying to tell you.

Yeah. Sounds boring.
You a movie guy?

You like animals, right?

So, let's see, we got "Babe"...

what else, "Charlotte's
Web," and we got "Okja."

Uh, I've only seen the
first half of that one,

but it's pretty cute so far.

Uh, oh and there's...


I'm a m*rder.

So I just said it.

Taffy, I'm out.

So I'm out.


Good for you.

You know, it took
guts to do that.

And for what it's worth, I
don't think you're a m*rder.

I think you're a
good person, George.

You, uh...

you live on the road, right?

Uh... yeah. Yeah,
I guess I do.

So what's it like?

To leave everything
behind and start fresh?

Well, it's, uh... it's easy.

Too easy maybe.

A life of fresh starts.

But it suits me.

And, yeah, and you get to
meet all sorts of people

and all sorts of lives.

- All sorts of lies?
- Lives.

But, you know, sometimes I just,

I take a map, I pick a spot,

and I head there.

So what are you going to do?

I have no idea.

And that should scare
me, but it don't.

- One thing I do know...
- Charlie!

Where did you go?

Oh, I guess I kind of work here.

Well, I should probably go.

But, uh, what's the
one thing you know?

- Don't leave me hanging.
- Charlie!

Go on. I'll tell you later.

Eh, I'll hold you to that.

Hope things don't get too
hectic in the pit without me.

Oh. Come on, I've had three
whole days of training,

I'm practically a pro.

Hot, hot, hot, holy hell.

Hot, hot.

- Geez.
- You know, we have f*re gloves.

What? Oh God, great.

Okay, your timing is
just chef's kiss, Beto.

Another great show, Taffy.

It's all about the
details, my friend.

All about the details.

How'd it go?


Beto, I can't find the paprika.

Can you go ask
George where it is?





you know, I know it's
hard to move forward

from a tragedy like this,

but, um, me and Mandy
discussed this and...

we think the
best way to honor

my brother George's
memory is, um...

is by keeping Boyle's
Barbecue goin' strong.

This place here brings
people together.

Puts smiles on their faces,
meat in their bellies.

And I know that's what
my brother George...

I know that's what
he would have wanted.


Uh, hey, uh...

I think I'm gonna h*t the road.

You gonna be alright in
the kitchen without me?

It'll probably be easier.

I appreciate the honesty.

I, I know he was going
through some heavy stuff,

but he seemed...

I don't know, happy.

I don't think that's so unusual

once people have
made up their minds.

You think it could
have been an accident?

Nah. Sheriff confirmed
it was a su1c1de.

He shut all the windows. He
locked it from the inside.

I had to force the
door open myself.

George knew what he was doing.

Alright, well, uh...

Hey, um, if you see
that fascist dog,

tell him he's a
real assh*le for me.


And again, very happy

to be in business with you.

But we could have waited
to finish the signing.

We know you're in mourning.

Look-look here, we
appreciate your condolences.

But as you know,
more than anything,

my brother George
cared about sharing

his signature beef
rub with the world.

Taffy and I just really
feel it's important

to make his dreams a reality.

last one is just an initial.

to the knitting circle

with me, Cathy Jay.

Today, I'll be
debating the merits

of diamond honeycomb stitch,

with a very special guest,

my dear friend Meryl Beauregard.

You poor dumb little turd.

Ow, assh*le.

He'll be fine after
a few days' rest.

I mean, what kind of a
person runs a dog over

and then just leaves it there.

Oh, he
wasn't run over.

Someone b*at him
with a piece of wood.

What's that now?

Yeah, it was brutal.

I extracted those
from his head wound.

I'm also not certain
this dog is entirely dog.

It could be up to
25 percent jackal.

Oh. Behaviorally, that tracks.

You can tell by the teeth.

One was ripped out recently.

That's what first drew
my attention to the...

What the f*ck are you doing?

I thought you was leavin'.

Oh, I am. Yeah.

Just, uh, doing a wood thing,

'cause dog justice.

- You don't care.
- I don't care.


We are done.

Dallas guys are paid.

It is over.

No more bridge loan shit.

Yes, I'm in agreement.

There is going to be
some changes around here.

Okay. Change is good.
Change is healthy.

From now on, I'm
handling the finances.

Look, we done what
had to be done, right?

Now we can move
on with our lives.

Yeah. Mandy, you
thought of everything.

We should get back out there.

Put on a good show.

Yeah, I'm just
trying to figure out, like,

where was he, you know.

When was the last
time you saw him?

Hey, Charlie.

Uh, what are you doing
here? Didn't you quit?

Oh, yeah, I did.

Uh, I'm just trying
to figure out...

When was the last time you
saw that fascist assh*le dog?

Okay. Um, how about
we talk in my office?

Alright. What are you
doing here, Charlie?

Oh, you know, I, I, I think
there's been a m*rder.


Well, you
know, not a m*rder

but an attempted m*rder, so I...

I think someone tried to k*ll
that little shithead dog.

A dog?

You do know my brother
just d*ed, right?

Oh no, I know. And
I'm very sorry.

Uh, I-I'm just,

I'm trying to figure
out what happened.

So someone b*at it with a log

over by your brother's trailer,

which, I mean, I get it.

That thing can be a real d*ck.

But then they moved it.

I mean, that's weird, right?

What do you mean they moved it?

Well, because of the pecan.

The pee-what?

The pecan wood?

Eh, I could hear
when I tasted...

there were traces

of pecan wood in the dog wounds.

And that means

the m*rder w*apon came from...

Okay. When did you become CSI?

Look, it's just a d*ad
dog in Texas. That's it.

Well, mm...

I mean, it's not just though.

You've got two kind of
mysterious incidents

in very close proximity
to each other.

My brother's death
is not mysterious.

It's tragic.


yeah, but now that we're
talking it through, uh...

I think maybe the
dog saw something

related to your brother's death.

- Like what?
- Like, I don't know.



Something that someone

didn't want it to see,

and they felt that the
dog had to be silenced.

I mean, you do know
dogs can't talk, right?

Well, nobody's
saying dogs can talk.

So what are you saying, Charlie?


he said he'd tell me later.

The last time
George and I talked,

he said he'd tell
me something later.

And he believed it.

And that means, you know,
he thought he'd be alive

at the end of the night.


we're all taking this
really hard, Charlie.

Do you know I would
give all of this up...

to have my brother back.



You know what I think?

I think...

you need to get the
f*ck out of town

and don't show your
face around here again.

Because in Texas,

no matter if you're
canine or other,

we do not smile
kindly on trespassers.

Is that purely decorative?

Not entirely, no.


Well, yeah, I know,
but he basically said

he'd sh**t me if
I go back there.

Look, you might be right,
but we don't have any proof.

I don't know, I
just say we move on,

fresh start, you know,
put all this behind us.

Avenge you? I don't
even like you.

Fine. Listen, you
got to stay here.

Remember, you're a wanted bitch.

Just... alright, I'll
put on the sicko.

I don't
know about you,

but what I do in the bathroom

definitely ain't
"gender neutral."


Just don't bark.

I'm so sorry, Taffy.

♪ I'd rather break
my heart in two ♪

Thank you.

♪ Than have you spread
the word around ♪

♪ Every time you put me down ♪

An air horn at the symphony.


The heck are you doin'?

The door was locked
from the inside,

but that's where
the cinnamon floss

comes into play.

Right? Cinnamon floss?

I guess I'm not over the part

where you're a
human lie detector.

Yeah, I know. It's,
uh, it's crazy, but...

My favorite color is yellow.


- I grew up in Old Dime Box.
- Bullshit.

I grew up in Tanglewood.


You ever gamble? 'Cause
you could make a k*lling?


I loved my husband.

How about that one?

Out of my purview.

I loved how much he
loved what he did.

And then one day he wakes up
and decides he hates the thing

that he devoted his life to.

He thinks it's m*rder.

I can only imagine that.

I still don't believe
he wanted to die.

Malfeasance, you said.


I think so.

Well, I mean, Taffy's
got a solid alibi.

We all heard him on the radio.

Chinese sonar att*cks

have caused a 30 percent
increase in h*m*

amongst our teens.

Their beams are able to
traverse vast differences...

- Oh, my God, bullshit.
- And unlock the hormones

associated with unholy desires!

And I'm going to tell you

how to protect yourself
from these sonar att*cks.

But, uh, up first, one
of my favorite records,

"Filles de Kilimanjaro"
by Miles Davis.


Hey, uh, how can I help you?

Hanky T. Pickens.

Wait, all this, it's all a gag?

I knew you didn't really
believe any of this crap.

Yeah. Well, I also hate jazz,

but, uh, that doesn't
stop me from doing

Cool with Dr. James.

Oh, my God. The
doctor is in...

The groove.



Yeah, I, I have
logged a lot of miles

listening to you, man.

You're bl*wing my
mind right now.

What else do you do?

The Morning Buzz

with Jimmy the Jerk.

- No.
- The Knitting Circle

with Cathy Jay.

f*cking Cathy.

Y la Poderosa Super

con DJ Sanchez.

Oh, I, I'm not sure that
one's cool to do anymore.

Yeah. You know, I was a
theater major in school,

and there's a lot of
hours to fill in here.

Uh, you work at,
at Boyle's, right?

Yeah. How do you know that?

You kind of smell
like a fireplace.

But not in a bad way.

Yeah, I guess I came
here to scope out,

poke around something.

I don't know what I
actually thought I'd find.

Uh, were you here for
last night's BBQ-and-A?

Sure, sure. Uh, Taffy
brings me brisket.

Uh, did he... leave

at any point during the show?

No. I was sitting right
out there the whole time,

and he never came out.

Can I ask you a weird favor?

When were you gonna
tell me you b*at a dog

within an inch of its life?


I wasn't.

Well, now we've
got a big problem.

Here you go. Whole
BBQ hour from last night.

Wow. Thanks for your help.

Literally any time.

I cannot overstate
how bored I am.

Uh, I think I know
how he did it.

Oh, Charlie. You scared me.

I've been listening
to last night's show,

and there's this
16-minute stretch

with no live calls,

where Taffy's just
going on about sausage.

So if he had prerecorded that,

well, he could have snuck
out and k*lled George then.

Wow, that's, I
mean, that's crazy.

But would that have
been enough time?

Well, actually,
yes. I, I tested it.

Gah! f*ck you, Dog.


The one piece I can't
figure out is that

in order to have
prerecorded that,

he would have had to know
that he was going to get

a question about hot links.

- He did.
- Oh, he did?

He asked me to cue him.

It's something we've done before

when we're trying to move
a particular cut of meat.

Like you just go up to
someone who's eating it?


Wow. So, I mean, this is,

this is some serious
shit, Charlie.

I mean, this is a
m*rder accusation.

- Can you prove it?
- Prove it?

What, like cop
prove it, prove it?

No, very much not.

But g*dd*mn, I swear,
there's a piece missing.

You know, something that would
tie the whole room together.

It's, it's, it's right
on the edge of my brain

just driving me nuts.

Well, if you do find real proof,

you come to me first, okay?

I'm, I'm tight with the sheriff,

and we can go to him together.

Good night, Charlie.



Yeah, just this stupid little
thing that's been bugging me.

'Cause mostly when people lie,

it's for some dumb
"who cares" reason,

which I'm sure this is.

So last night in the kitchen,

you said you didn't know
where the paprika was,

but y-you did know.

So why were you lying
about the paprika?

It was hectic.

There was a lot going on,

and I wanted Beto to find it.

To find it?


Look, Charlie, I like you.

And if Taffy really is
who you say he is, then...

well, he must be very dangerous.

For your own safety, I
think your best move is

to h*t the road,
get a fresh start.

God, I told you to be quiet.

I'm trying to think.


Hey. Didn't I tell you not to
show your face around here again?

I know what you did,
you shit-kicking psycho.

Why don't you do me a
favor and just get out?

Nope. 'Cause I got proof.

Cop proof.

Something you missed, and
it's going to put you away.

- Oh really?
- Well, at first,

it was a lot of little things.

Dog tooth in the ashes,
cinnamon floss, George's beer.

You know, I sniffed the bottle,
and it didn't smell like anything.

And I thought, what are you doing,
Charlie? You're not a poison sniffer.

And anyway, you wouldn't use
a poison that would show up

in an autopsy.

You'd use Ambien or something.

But what does Ambien
even smell like?

But what's weird was

it really didn't
smell like anything.

I mean, not even beer.

You see, someone had
washed out the bottle.

I mean, who washes
out a bottle of beer?

So you think George was k*lled

because somebody rinsed
out a beer bottle?

Well, then there
was your radio show.

I listened to it over and over,

like I was Gene
Hackman or something.

- Gene Hackman?
- I was looking for a sound.

Uh, something that would prove

that you recorded
it ahead of time.

And I found nothing.

Of course, you didn't.

But then I realized
it wasn't a sound.

It was the absence of a sound.

Sort of like the beer
but for the ears.

The truth train. You know, it
goes by every hour on the quarter.

I... You can hear it
in all the other shows.

You should have
been able to hear it

in last night's BBQ-and-A,

but it's not there.


So, let me get this straight.

You think that I could
be charged for m*rder

because you didn't hear
the sound of a... a train.

Probably not.

But that's when I
found the real proof.

The thing that's gonna
put your ass away.

Well, I'm going to
explain it to you

in great detail right now.

You see...

- Hello?
- We're f*cked.

She's got us d*ad to rights.

Taffy? What are
you talking about?

That nasty
little blonde.

She can prove we k*lled George.


Okay, calm down, Taffy.
Tell me what happened.

I'm going to
call the sheriff.

Tell him everything.
Maybe he'll cut us a deal.

Taffy, do not.

That is the last
thing we should do.

I'm scared, baby.

I'm so scared. I
can't go to prison.

Well, maybe if you'd
stuck to my plan

and hadn't att*cked
that f*ck' dog,

she wouldn't be on to us.

Don't do anything.

I'll be there in 10 minutes.

you soon, sweetheart.

Which seems inconsequential

until you consider
the atmospherics.

The high yesterday
was 72 degrees.

84 percent.

Four miles per
hour from the east.

Not an unusual set of conditions

in and of themselves,

but nothing exists in a vacuum.

Do you know the
smoke point of hickory?

- No.
- 570 degrees.

That's 570 degrees.

I'm going to let you ponder

the implications of
that for a moment.

Charlie, what the f*ck
are you talking about?

Look, look, I've been
hearing your bullshit

this whole time for
20 minutes straight,

and it doesn't make
any f*ck' sense.

Now, for Pete's sake,
could you do me a favor

and just let me know what
this undeniable evidence is?

It doesn't matter.

- What?
- Eh, doesn't matter.

Because I just got
a confession, so.

I haven't confessed to anything.

Oh, no, not yours.

What the hell is all this, huh?

It's what your
brother taught me.

The most important
part of the cook...

it's the stall.


There he is!

There's my husband's k*ller.

will conclusively prove

George Soros' role

in orchestrating the plandemic.

But first, dear patriots,

the truth train has
brought us a conspiracy

in our own backyard.

Now, you may think
you know the story,

brotherly bloodshed
at Boyle's Barbecue

where the side of the
day is fratricide.

But it turns out
there's one more layer

of this bloomin' onion
left to peel back.

Now, feast your ears on this.

scared, baby. I'm so scared.

I can't go to prison.

Well, maybe if
you'd stuck to my plan

and hadn't att*cked
that f*ck' dog,

she wouldn't be on to us.


Now, it's
like I always say,

there's a whole lot
of bullshit out there.

So I'd like to give
a special shoutout

to the truth tellers.

Those real-life heroes
that can sniff it on out.

See, they're our only
hope against Soros,

Pelosi, the Zionists,

the Mexicans, the snowflakes,

and the local...

♪ I'm so glad I found you ♪

Stay strong, truth tellers.

Stay strong.

♪ Let me put my arms around you ♪

♪ And we'll rock till the break of dawn ♪

♪ This feels like heaven ♪

♪ Just you and me ♪

♪ This feels like heaven ♪

♪ Oh yes, indeed ♪

♪ Yes, you know you stand here in my arms ♪

♪ Rockin' and rollin' all night long ♪

♪ Feels like heaven ♪

♪ Just you and me ♪

♪ I'm in my glory ♪

♪ Oh yes, indeed ♪

♪ Mmm, seems like a story ♪

♪ Just you and me ♪

♪ Well, you know you're standin' here, kissing my lips ♪

♪ You make my poor heart go ♪

♪ This feels like heaven ♪

♪ Just you and me ♪

♪ I'm so glad I found you ♪

♪ 'Cause I was all alone ♪

♪ Let me put my arms around you ♪

♪ And we'll rock till the break of dawn ♪
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