02x03 - Boomerang

[bunniefuu]

This is the story of the day I d*ed.

Just kidding! Come on, think it through.

If I was dead,

how could I be talkin'?

Gettin' run over by the Ween Mobile
wasn't nearly as painful as it looked,

but that might be on account of the fact

that I could no longer feel anything
below my waist.

I should never have stopped
for designer gasoline.

I always loved Diesel jeans.

They've got the best skinny fit.

So I figured their gas would be
skinny awesome too.

But my car was allergic or something,

so I got an Uber.

Dixie!

Hi, Mom!

And ended up getting paralyzed
from the waist down.

I was the girl who faked
being in a wheelchair

only to end up in a wheelchair for real.

If that wasn't karma,
I don't know what was.

I was thinking about it all night.

None of it would have happened
if it weren't for my mama.

Oh, good! You're awake.

I went to the cafeteria.
I didn't know what you wanted,

- so...
- What I want is for you to leave.

What? Do you need me
to get you somethin' else?

I need you to get out

and never speak to me again.

Ever.

Honey, you've been through a lot,

but this isn't the time to push me away.

I'm paralyzed because of you!

What are you talking about?

- I wasn't driving that truck.
- Don't you get it?

You made me lie about Bob,
about being paralyzed,

so God is punishing me
for everything that you made me do.

I never want to see you again. Ever.

Fine. Bye.

Bob!

Hi.

Coffee and a change of clothes,
as requested.

I didn't realize Brick was here too.

Yeah, all night.

They still haven't told us anything
about Dixie.

Yeah. Well, since I'm here
we need to talk about State.

- Now?
- Now that it's official,

there's no time to spare.
This is a game-changer

for both of us.

We need to kick this up a notch.

We need to find you a talent.
We need highlights, a facial.

I've already scheduled you
for a teeth whitening this afternoon.

Teeth whitening! Really?
Dad, Dixie might not walk again.

Dixie and her mother
already pulled this scam,

so excuse me if I'm not overwhelmed
with compassion.

- You think she's lying?
- Only when her mouth is moving.

- Any updates?
- Nothing yet. How about you?

My dad's still at the police station
getting questioned.

- It'll be okay.
- You don't know that.

Bob, you're a lawyer.

Do you think he's going to jail?

Yeah. I mean, it's possible.

- Oh, my God!
- Okay.

Dad, you're not making things any better.

Okay. All right. But I will see you later.

Teeth, noon, at the mall.

We need to talk about whatever this is.

If you want to win,
you need to focus. No...

distractions.

Choi, I am sorry that my dad's the worst.

Don't say that. He didn't mean to...

No. I know you think he's like
a pageant Jesus

or somethin', but you don't have to deal
with him as a dad.

I mean, Patty,
sometimes I wish I was like you

and I just didn't know who my dad was.

Brick.

Seriously?

You think having parents is difficult?

Try not having them.

Patty, I'm sorry. That is...

You know what? Whatever.
I'm gonna go change.

Patty.

Brick and I had just gotten back together
and we were already fighting.

Maybe I was better off alone.

The only problem was when I was alone,
all I wanted to do was eat.

I was out of money,

but I still needed more food.

What the hell was I gonna do?

Meeting daily at ten.

Someone else might have seen
that 12-step sign as...

well, a sign,

but I saw something else.

I didn't need a meeting.

I needed something sweet
to balance out the salty.

But once I started, I couldn't stop.

I ate because I was mad at Brick.

I ate because I was mad at my mom.

I ate because of Christian
and Stella Rose.

Because I was scared about State
and because I felt so guilty for eating.

You did such a good job in there.

You were so brave.

You promised after chemo
I'd get a special doughnut.

You will. They probably just didn't
put them out yet.

There we go.

In the bed you are. Okay.

I'm so proud of you, baby.

Can I get you something?
Are you comfortable?

I couldn't keep lying to myself
about my food.

I needed help now.

But was this really the answer?

I have tried the diets.

Coming here was
the last stop on the block.

It wasn't enough to know the causes
and conditions of my disease.

I had to be willing to let them go.

Causes and conditions?

It was like a foreign country
where they spoke another language.

Maybe I was wrong.

Maybe that sign wasn't a sign.

But seeing Dee definitely was a sign.

The only empty seat next
to someone who hated me?

I needed to leave.

But that's the thing
with foreign countries.

The signs don't always mean
what you think.

Hey!

What are you doin' out here?
Is Dixie okay?

She's nappin'.

What do you want?

I came to offer support.

- Bullshit.
- Your daughter got hit by a truck,

and you find it hard to believe
that I want to help?

Yes. Your family hates me
like I hate condoms.

What do you want?

Fine.

So... I lost my investors from Tampazzle,

and you said you were gonna be
my biggest competition,

so I was thinkin'
maybe we could team up.

I knew it!

You have some nerve showing up here,

trying to take advantage
of my vulnerable position.

Okay, well you're gonna need money
for Dixie's medical bills,

plus it's gonna be hard
for you to launch a business on your own,

and you live in a box.

I'm still the one with the business sense.

You stole my prospectus.

Well, you are an ex-con.

Okay? Who nobody trusts.
I can be the face of the business.

I am already the face
of my own successful business.

Joke's on you, graffiti man.

I suck from the left!
Now, go bother someone else.

Bye.

What are you doing?

Mother to mother...

your daughter's in the hospital.

I'm not gonna leave you alone.

Oh, God.

Oh, oh. Okay.

- Okay. Look, it's-
- Soft.

Yeah, well, it's silk, okay?
And you have a lot of makeup on, so...

Oh, for f*ck's sake.

Oh, it must have been like that.

- No, it was not like that.
- No, it was like that.

We've now come to the part of the meeting
where we welcome newcomers.

Will anybody new like to share
about what got them to come here today?

I didn't know what to say.

Everyone was staring at me.

What exactly was it

that had brought me to this point?

Was it Christian?

Stella Rose?

Nothing I could share.

I had to say something.

I stole doughnuts from cancer kids.

It wasn't funny. Why were they laughing?

I once stole jello from a dead guy.

I took all the candy from the AIDS wing.

They were laughing because they related.

Could I belong here after all?

Now, sponsorship is
a touchstone of our recovery.

Sponsors are members of the program
who share the experience,

strength and hope.

Will all available sponsors
please raise your hands.

Stacey, recovering anorexic.

Elizabeth, recovering food restrictor.

Except, I wasn't like them.

I didn't throw up or starve.

I just couldn't stop eating.

Dee. Recovering compulsive overeater,
body-obsessor.

Compulsive overeater?

Body-obsessor?

Was that me?

If there was a name for it,
maybe there was a cure.

- Dee, wait up!
- Sorry. I've got somewhere to be.

Compulsive overeater.
Is that like bingeing,

but without the throwing up?

'Cause I thought you had to binge
and purge for it to be an eating disorder.

A lot think that,

but it turns out there's no one right way
to be f*cked up about food.

And body-obsessor? What's that?

Like it sounds.

I used to spend hours
staring at my body in the mirror,

obsessing about the things
I wanted to change.

But I thought that you were very like,

"I like myself. I love my body."

Yeah.

I got that way from going to meetings.

So, is this like a diet club or...

'Cause in AA, you can just stop drinking,
but you can't just stop eating.

In my experience,
it's not about the food.

What are you talking about?

Look, all I know is
I don't have a food problem.

I have a life problem.

For me, the food is just a symptom
that something else is going on.

So, is that what that woman meant
about causes and conditions?

Yeah. Look, it's a lot,

but if you find a sponsor
and work the steps...

- Will you be my sponsor?
- f*ck, no.

I mean, I don't think that's a good idea.

Why not? You binge eat like me.

You obsess over your body.

There are a lot of us in program.

Find someone else.

Didn't the leader say that sponsorship
is like a touchstone of the deal?

I don't know.
Aren't you supposed to help me?

Come on. I moved my purse for you.

Fine! I will be your temporary sponsor.

You have a week to find someone else.

Great! A week is all I need. I heal fast.

Like, if I don't wear earrings every day,
the holes just close up.

That's not how this works.

Let's take this one day at a time.

For starters,
call me whenever you want to eat.

That's like all the time.

We need to help you figure out
the difference between physical hunger

and emotional hunger.

sh*t! I've gotta go.

- Thank you, Jesus.
- Um...

Thank you, and I'll call you.

Hi. I'm sorry I'm late.

You need to take
prepping for State seriously, Patty.

- This is your future we are talkin' about.
- I know.

- I lost track of time.
- Were you with Brick?

Because I can't have you dragging my son
into your drama.

No, I was not with Brick. I...

I went to my first
Overeaters Anonymous meeting.

You did?

Yeah. I think...

you're right.

I think that I have a problem.

Patty,

this is huge. I am so proud of you.

Yeah.

Well, I'm here now, right?

And I'm focused, and I'm totally
ready to win. Let's do this.

Hm... Maybe let's pump the brakes
on the pageant stuff.

You know, just till you find
your footing in recovery.

But you said there's no time to spare,

right? You said State is a game changer.

You getting healthy is
the most important game changer of all.

And I would hate to put
any more pressure on you.

- Why is Dixie texting me?
- Dixie?

- Is she okay?
- Yeah, I don't know.

I guess I'm about to find out.
She wants to see me.

Is it okay if I still do this?

Uh, yeah, if you want to. I mean,
I can't get a refund on the Groupon.

But most importantly,

focus on your recovery.

I'm really proud of you.

Thank you.

You know, it's been a long time
I've known that something is off,

but I never knew it was a problem.

- What?
- Now that I go in there and I know, like,

- this is a group of people who are...
- Stop.

...just like me. They have... It's a thing.

- I'm... I can't. there's not a chance.
- It has stayed with me.

What?

- I'll text you.
- That would be great.

Magnolia, I'm heading out...

- What are you doin'? Turn that off.
- What?

If you have any chance
of getting your memory back,

the doctors insisted
on a hundred percent brain rest.

It's just Bird Box. Isn't that the same?

No. No.

No screens. No iPads.

No phone. No TV.

But sitting here is so boring.

So you'd rather just self-sabotage?

Again?

What are you talking about?

Your lab results came back.

Your blood alcohol level was point one.

I told you, I don't remember drinking.

You being blacked out
doesn't make me feel any better.

The doctor also said my memory loss

could be tied to me seeing
something traumatic.

Like,

what if I saw what happened to Roxy
and now I can't remember?

I'm not self-sabotaging, Dad.

I'm just trying to distract myself

from thinking about the fact
that I could have had a sister,

but I pushed her away and now she's dead.

Baby, I'm so sorry.

Hey...

Okay.

Hey, c'mon.

Of course...

Of course this is just as hard for you.

Now look...

I have an appointment
at the police station.

I'm gonna get an update on Roxy.

You wanna call one of your friends?
Have 'em come sit with you while I'm gone?

I literally have no one to call.

And that's what makes this even worse.
I needed her, and I didn't even know.

Has a single person visited
or even called?

When did I ever have friends over?
When I wasn't studying,

I was all pageants, all the time,
except...

for when I was with Brick.

Well, then, I'm calling Brick.

- Where's Regina?
- Who gives a sh*t?

She's dead to me.

Wow.

And you're...

paralyzed, like, for real this time?

Yes. Oh!

You don't believe me? I'll prove it.

Oh, God! Dixie! Oh!

What? didn't feel a thing.

Here, you try.

- Why did you text me?
- Well...

I've been up all night thinking, and...

I had an episiotomy.

I hope you mean epiphany.

Everything bad that ever happened to me...

started back when my mama
made me lie about you.

I never won another pageant.

I got thrown off the Ween Mobile.

I lost my home.

- I had to leave town.
- You have had a bad run.

I'm starting to think
that this is all karma,

which means that I've gotta clean up
my mistakes,

starting with you.

I figured that by working together again,
well, that's a good start.

You mean you wanna get back into pageants?

No!

I want you to be my lawyer.

I wanna sue the sh*t out of Herman Choi.

I'll split whatever we win.

Fifty-sixty.

There wasn't enough money in the world
to risk getting involved with Dixie again.

And I'm pretty sure, in a case like this,

we're talking several million dollars.

Except it turns out...

there was.

- What's up?
- Well, I just had my teeth whitened,

and they told me
I can't eat for three hours,

so obviously
all I can think about is food.

I mean, what's going on emotionally?

I don't have anything to do today,

and I am afraid if I am alone...

I'll just want to eat, so...

So don't be alone.

Listen, I'm picking up Nonnie
for a date, so...

Oh!

Can I come with you?
She'll be stoked we're friends now.

We're not friends. I'm your sponsor.

Your temporary sponsor.

And Nonnie doesn't know
I'm in the program yet,

and I ain't ready to tell her.

Here she is. I've gotta go. Bye.

Who was that?

Oh, nobody. Don't worry about it.

How cute are you?

I don't know.

How cute am I?

Very.

Ooh!

Thanks for coming over.

I know it's, like, super awkward
having to babysit your ex-girlfriend.

No, not at all.

Just 'cause we broke up
doesn't mean I still don't care about you.

But you're with Patty now... again. Right?

Yeah.

- How's that going?
- Good.

You know,
except we got in a fight this morning,

so I think she's kinda mad at me.

Wait, is this weird for you to talk about?

Not at all.

Okay, that's weird. She's calling.
Do you mind?

Not at all.

Hey, beautiful.

Hey.

I'm sorry for getting so mad earlier
at the hospital.

I had low blood sugar and...

Don't worry about it. You okay?

I will be,

if we can hang out or make out

or anything out.

Well, I'm kinda with Magnolia.

Wow.

We have one weird moment
and you run to your ex?

No, her dad called me and asked
to keep an eye on her

'cause she's on brain rest.

I guess the only way she might remember
what happened to her is to, you know,

let her brain heal and relax.

Oh, sh*t.

What if Magnolia remembered
seeing me hit Christian?

How is that going?

Has she remembered anything?

No, not yet.

Okay. How long will you be there?
Should I come hang out with you guys?

No. By the time you get here,
I'll probably be gone.

- I'll text you when I leave?
- Okay.

I was terrified to be alone,

but even more terrified that there was
a man lurking outside my house.

Was he trying to break in?

Or... Oh, God,

what if Stella Rose sent him?

What if he was here to even the score?

- Hey there.
- f*ck you!

Who the f*ck are you?
I'm calling the police.

Don't! Don't! I'm a friend of your mom's.

Bullshit!

I swear. Here...

I have pictures of her. Use my code.

It's one, one, one, one.

All ones? How dumb are you?

Oh, sh*t.

Sorry.

Yeah! Do you have any milk?
It helps with the mace.

Sure, yeah.

How do you know that?

Can we talk about it
when my eyes aren't melting?

- Yeah.
- Thanks.

- It's gonna be this way.
- All right.

Watch the stairs. Watch the stairs.

Feet! Feet!

Here you go.

Thanks.

Why do you look familiar?

Maybe your mom showed you pictures of us.

Yeah. You're her ex-boyfriend.
She reached out to you around my birthday.

Exactly. I came to your party,
but we just didn't get a chance to meet.

- You did?
- Yeah.

I got picked up by the cops for dr*gs,

and then your mom stole my car.

Well, it's a tale as old as time.

But you know what?

I was a different person back then.

So?

Why did you come back?

I got out on bail
and was hoping to get my car back.

It's not here.

Neither is my mom.
She took off that same night.

Well...

And she thought
I'd be a bad influence on you.

What do you mean?

She didn't want me to meet you.

I mean, maybe she was right.

I made some bad choices...

but...

now you're all grown up, and here we are.
She's not around.

I'm confused.

Why would she care if I met you?

'Cause...

I'm your father.

Where is Detective Cruz?
I have an appointment.

He had an out of town lead to follow.

About what?

I can neither confirm nor deny the details
of an active m*rder investigation.

So, it's about Roxy.

It's okay. You can tell me.

I'm entitled to know. I used to be the DA.

I used to be
the manager of frickin' Chuck E. Cheese,

but that doesn't mean
I can still go down there

and eat free pizza in the ball pit,
does it?

Yeah, well, maybe I'll get
my old job back.

Good! Do it.

But for now, get outta my way.

I'm late to stake out Patty Bladell.

She still a suspect?

No.

- I mean, I never said that.
- Hm-mm.

You stay outta my head.

It felt like I couldn't
ask questions fast enough.

Everything I ever wanted to know
about my dad.

What part of his face was like mine?

His eyes? His chin?

Did he accidentally k*ll someone too?

Would he forgive me if he knew I did?

I just can't believe my mom...

was lying to me all these years...

saying she didn't know who my dad was.

Well, I can't believe
that I'm here with you right now.

I mean, I missed everything!

Your first day of school.
Teaching you how to ride a bike.

Okay. My first day of kindergarten,
I threw up Count Chocula on Tracy Plank,

and I still don't know how to ride a bike,

so you're all caught up.

- Your phone is really blowin' up.
- It's a work thing. It can wait.

You are way more important.

Should we try to text my mom?

I haven't been able to reach her,
but maybe we could get a hold of her.

Yeah. Yeah!

That... Yeah, that's...

You know what, though? She might...

She might be upset.

And I would have to leave,
and then you and I...

wouldn't get to know each other.

No.

How do I know
that you're telling the truth...

about being my dad?

Well...

how about I go to a drugstore
and pick up a paternity test?

Right now?

- I mean, you don't have to leave so soon.
- No, it's fine.

I'll be back with that test
before you even know it.

If he was lying,
there's no way he'd offer to get a test.

Could I have finally found what I had been
looking for my entire life?

Hey, sorry.

Relax!

There's just been a slight wrinkle.

I couldn't get the car.

Chill!

I'll get the money I owe you
from my daughter.

Is it weird that the Chois' lawyer
moved the mediation up to today?

No, this is a very good sign.

My guess is they're runnin' scared.

You are a pageant girl in a wheelchair.

- That is a very expensive sympathy card.
- f*ck sympathy!

I make seven figures a year,
I split my time between three cities,

and I get more d*ck
than I know what to do with,

so cry me a f*cking river.

I think you're my new hero.

- I'm Dixie Sinclair...
- Don't care.

You're the genius
who picked this dipshit to represent you.

The dipshit has a name.

Bob Armstrong.

Again, don't care.

Buckle up, buttercup.

I'm about to wipe the floor
with your middle-age, worn-out ass.

Think again.

Your client ran over my client

while she was crossing the street,
in full view.

Did you actually inspect the crime scene?

I was there when it happened.

Then surely you'll know
that there was no crosswalk.

Which means your client was not walking.
She was jaywalking.

So congrats, little girl.

The last thing you did
with your legs was break the law.

Wait...

I don't get any money?

If you sue him.

- Who? Me?
- Remind me,

who pulled permits for that event?

- Well, me.
- It's rhetorical, dickless.

So if your client wants to get a payout
for gross negligence,

she ought to go after you for planning
an event with zero safety in mind.

I am sorry I am late, folks.

We ready to get started?

I need to confer with my client.

Wait. What's happening?

Where's my money? Where's my money?
Is it in there?

Where's... Hey!

Where's my money?
Where's the check?

Oh, my God, please don't sue me.

- I've been living in my office.
- It's not your fault.

I broke the rules crossing the street.

I broke the rules my entire life.

Oh, Dixie, don't.

Maybe my karma isn't fixed.

Maybe...

Maybe I deserve to be paralyzed...

alone...

feeling guilty for the rest of my life.

Was it possible?

Had that lying,
dead-legged she-devil actually changed?

Maybe this was about more than money.
Maybe I could change my karma too.

Feels kinda weird.
Do I have anything in my teeth?

You're so weird.

Gotta grab this. Gimme a sec.

Patty B. Is that...

Are you okay?

I'm hungry again.

- Okay. What's goin' on?
- I met my dad for the first time

ever.

- Since the last time I talked to you?
- Yeah.

Feel like more things happen to me
than most people.

- How was it?
- Intense.

Weird.

All my life I wanted to know who he was.

You think that's the reason
I wanted to eat?

- Because I never knew who my dad was?
- Could be part of it.

Maybe this is the universe
finally giving me

the thing that I actually needed
instead of food.

Patty, slow down.

- It's usually not just one thing.
- The whole time he was here,

I didn't even think about food.

And now he's gone, all I wanna do is eat.

Of course.

I am sure it's very emotional and...

Holy sh*t! If I have my dad,
I won't want to binge. I'm cured.

Patty, stop!

You can't just swap out
one thing for another.

This is amazing.

Thank you, Dee!

You're not listening!

f*ckin' annoying.

Why is Patty calling you?

Patty?

Yes, my best friend, the one you hate.

Patty B?

It's...

It was nothing.

Nothing.

Kind of like
your secret phone call earlier?

- You're acting like I'm cheating on you.
- I'm not saying you're cheating. I...

Are you cheating?

This is crazy.

Seriously?

You're gonna keep secrets from me

and then call me crazy
for feeling insecure?

They're not secrets.
Not everything is your business.

Got it.

- Nonnie, wait. I...
- Just...

call me when you're ready to be honest.

It's Dee. Call me back ASAP.

Sorry I've been radio silent.

Things have gotten complicated,

and I don't think
I can keep lying like this.

Thank you so much
for staying with me today.

And for going' on a wine run.

You want a refill or...

Sure.

So, do you think
that Dixie is still napping?

Maybe you should go check on her
and, I don't know, say, be a mom, maybe?

The truth is...

she kicked me out.
She thinks I'm a bad person,

which...

I probably am.

No one knows that better than you.

I'm so sorry about all that.

Oh, thank you, Regina.

If it makes you feel any better,
you raised a wonderful son.

Generous, gentle...

- tender...
- Okay.

- You could've just stopped at the apology.
- ...giving...

- Please.
- ...selfless.

Okay. I got the picture.

I can't get it out of my head.

You know...

I think, in another life,

you and I could have been friends.

Well, this is what I'm talkin' about.
We still could be.

I mean, maybe this whole Tampazzle thing
could actually work.

- Poozle!
- Pazzle!

- Poo!
- Pa!

- Bob! Hey!
- Oh! Hi, Bob.

Hi! What are you doing here?

It's... for Dixie.

Oh!

I feel like, since she stayed with me,
she's kinda one of my daughters.

I never did thank you for that.

I'm not sure you should.

I've got one daughter dead,
and another in trouble, now this.

Like I can't keep anyone safe. I just...

feel so powerless.

Oh! Bob.

When I feel that way,

one thing always helps.

Hm.

Pure Colombian coke.

A couple of rails of that,
there is nothing you can't do.

- Regina!
- I punched out a pit bull

and pulled down a street sign
on that sh*t.

Regina, I'm sorry.
Would you please give us a moment?

Yeah.

Sure, of course.

Call me tomorrow.
We'll work out the Tampoozle details.

- Bye, Bob.
- Bye.

- What in the world is she talking about?
- it doesn't matter. Let's talk about you.

I tried to get my old DA job back.

Figured I could be in charge
of the investigation.

- Right, that's a great idea.
- Yeah, except they already filled it.

I can't just sit around.

Wait a minute!
Do you know what you should do?

You should run for mayor.

Right? I mean, you only backed out before
because of Bob,

and we all know how that turned out.

And I would have more access
to Roxy's case.

Right.

And, you know,
have potential to make a real difference.

I mean, you could make Masonville
safe again.

- Yeah.
- You could build a wall.

You know what?

With Etta Mae,

everything was always about her,
but you...

you make me feel like I can do anything.

You're like Jackie O to my JFK.

If JFK were a power bottom.

And Jackie O had no gag reflex.

It's true.

The more I thought about my dad,

the less I thought about food.

So I decided

to focus on finding out
as much about him as I could.

If he had pictures
with my mom on his phone,

she probably had
some old ones of him too.

Weird.

My mom looked way younger
than she was when I was born.

What were these?

Restraining orders?

Against my dad?

Why would my grandma have filed them
on my mom's behalf?

I had spent 18 years being jealous
of every girl who had a dad,

and now I had
my very first text from mine.

Whatever this was about,
maybe there was an explanation.

Badge 3-14 arriving
at the Bladell house.

Looks like she's home.

Copy, 3-14.

I have a surprise for ya.

It may be a little late...

but I want to teach my daughter
how to ride a bike.

Hop on!

Screw the restraining orders.

Whatever they were about,
that was then, and this was now.

And right now, I had my dad.

I finally felt full.

I had spent hours
trying to find something to help Dixie.

There had to be something I missed.

This is your brand-new
glasses prescription.

It was found
in the glove box of the Ween Mobile.

Wanna tell me
why you haven't filled it yet?

I don't have a restricted license.

Which is why I called your optometrist.

You can do that?

She said it's strong enough
that you should've been wearing them

at the time of the accident

and that she'd be happy
to testify to that.

Dad, seriously?

I...

I was wearing my old glasses.

The doctor never told me that I had to.

So you had no responsibility
for what happened to Dixie?

You're 100 percent sure

you wouldn't have seen her

if you had been wearing
your new prescription?

Uh...

Uh...

What have I done?

I could have brought that information
right to the judge

and taken them
for everything they were worth,

but he had a family,

and I had a soft spot for Donald Choi.
I didn't want that karma.

And...

Dixie, you are now
the proud owner of the Wiener Taco.

I'm so sorry, Dixie.

I should sue you
for going directly to my client.

Go ahead and try it.

I don't even want it.

The loose change in my dryer
is worth more than you.

Does this mean you're my boss now?

Sure does.

But that's when it hit me.

I won,

but now what?

Hi.

I saw how freaked out you looked...

when you were signing those papers.

No one knows better than me
what you're going through.

A chair, a new life...

You're terrified.

It's just...

Where will I live?

Who's gonna help me
get in and out of bed?

- What if there are stairs?
- What if there's a zombie apocalypse?

What if both Hemsworth brothers
want to f*ck me and I can only pick one?

What if? What if?

You'll live and you'll learn.

From who?

I don't have anyone. I'm all alone.

You're not alone.

There are lots of us.

I promise...

we'll hook you up.

Maybe this was karma,

but that didn't mean
it had to be a bad thing,

especially since I wasn't alone.

Hold on!

- Yeah, no. You've gotta pedal. Pedal!
- Okay!

- Now I got it!
- Go! Go for it!

Yeah!

Holy!

Just like that...

- Felt really good.
- Now hop back on there.

- Yeah?
- Yeah! You got it!

- You got it!
- Yes!

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

I'm gonna whip around this bend, Dad.

Look at me!

Look at me. I'm nailing it.

I'm like Drew Barrymore's brother
in ET "Phone Home."

I'm so proud of you, Patty.

Honestly?

I'm kinda proud of myself,
for the first time in a long time.

Why is that?

Um... you know how you were saying
you made some bad choices?

Uh-huh.

I made some, too.

A lot, actually.

Must run in our DNA.

Yeah, I have a confession to make.

You...

You do?

This bike...

- I stole it.
- Wait. What?

When you said you didn't know how to ride,
I thought,

"Well, that's one thing I can do."

- But you didn't have to...
- No, I did.

Because...

After today, I don't...

know when I'll see you again.

What do you mean?

We finally found each other.

It's those damn bad choices.

I still owe some bad people money
from a long time ago.

It's the reason I needed my car back
from your mom,

so I could sell it.

But now they've run out of patience.

Well, I'm not losing you over money.

I can give you some.

I... I have some scholarship money.

You won that at regionals.

- I can't take that from you.
- How did you know about regionals?

- What?
- Regionals. How did you know that

that's where I won the money?

Well, I was
on your mom's Facebook page and...

And what?

Is that what this was?

Why you pretended to care was for money?

Oh, I do care.

Are you even my dad?

Course I am.

I even bought the paternity test.
I have it with my things.

What are these?

Look at you,

just waiting to spring that on me.

Why would my grandma
not want you around my mom?

'Cause we were having sex.

You and my grandma?

Well, yeah,

at first.

But then Angie came sniffin' around.
She was very mature for her age.

You molested your girlfriend's daughter?

She came onto me!

- My God, you are sick.
- Really?

Because when Angie grew up,
she came back begging for more,

and that is how you were conceived.

It was worse
than I could have ever imagined.

He wasn't my solution. He was the problem.

You're my causes and conditions.

What the f*ck are you talkin' about?

Step one.

We admitted we were powerless.

You destroyed my mother.

You are the reason
that she's so f*cked up.

Step two.

Came to believe...

You are why she drank

and why she slept with all those men.

Three. Make a decision.

You are why
she couldn't show up for me.

Step four.

- And why she keeps leaving me.
- Five.

Which means you are the reason
I am the way that I am.

- Six.
- Seven.

- Eight.
- You are why I'm so angry.

- Nine.
- You are why I am so f*cking broken!

- Ten.
- You are the reason I eat.

- Eleven.
- And you are why it is never enough.

And you are why I have
this unfillable hole.

Finally, step 12.

If he was my causes and conditions,

could I really just let him go?

Another dead body?

Was it my fault?

It wasn't my fault.

It couldn't have been my fault.

Patty! Hey.

Hey.

You sound... good.

Oh! Yeah. I'm great.

I had a big win today.

Turns out Dixie wanted me to represent
her, and I won her the Wiener Taco.

I mean, this is gonna be
a great year, Patty.

You are in recovery.
I am turning over a new leaf.

We're leaving all the drama behind.

That's great.

I just called to see what Dixie wanted.

- I'll call you later. Bye.
- Okay. Bye.

And suddenly,

all I could think about...

was food.

I couldn't call Dee.
I couldn't call Nonnie.

I couldn't call Brick.

So, I pedaled as fast as I could
to a meeting.

You know what they say.

We're only as sick as our secrets.

Dee was right.

I didn't have a food problem...

I had a death problem.