02x06 - Eat and Run

[bunniefuu]

My boyfriend was kissing another girl.

He was the nicest guy alive.

Which meant there must have been
something wrong with me.

Oh, sh*t.

Patty, wait! No!

Patty, I am so, so sorry.

I was trying to prove I was
a better kisser. I did it for you.

You expect me to believe that?

Yes. Why else do you think
I would want to?

Maybe because she looks amazing
in that costume that didn't fit me.

Patty, that's crazy.

Is it? 'Cause you literally just said

how great she looked,
and then you ditched me.

That's not what happened!

So why don't you tell me
what happened then?

Yeah...

Maybe it's because Magnolia doesn't make
everything about her.

Excuse me?

My parents are getting a divorce.
All right?

I'm not getting into college.
Did you ever even ask me about that?

- Of course, I...
- No, not even once!

So at least Magnolia listens to me.

I listen.

Of course I listened.

Brick just couldn't tell me the truth.

I knew the real reason
he liked Magnolia better than me.

The one thing she had that I didn't.

She was thinner than me.

Whatever, Brick.

We're done.

Patty...

I couldn't believe my mom k*lled herself.

She just checked out
and left me and my dad behind.

And I almost did the same thing.

I tried to k*ll myself twice,

and I would've left my son.

I couldn't believe I had been so selfish.

Hi.

Are you here 'cause you heard
Patty and I broke up?

What?

Oh, no. I... I had no idea.

Uh-huh.

I didn't, but I am here,

if you want to talk about it.

All right.

Um...

I kissed Magnolia, and Patty dumped me.

Oh. How is Patty?

Seriously?

I thought you said you were here for me.

- Oh, no, I am.
- You're more worried about Patty.

No, I'm... I'm not more worried...

Okay, I knew I shouldn't have told you,
and I knew you'd take her side.

Brick, I'm always on your side.

Yeah, okay. Good talk, Dad.

I was on Brick's side.

I just didn't always know how to show up.

And after everything that happened,

I wondered if maybe that's
how my own dad felt about me.

Thanks for coming, Dad.

Well, I almost didn't.

Your apology on TV...

Jesus! Real p*ssy move, son.

Dad, I wanted to tell you something nice,

but, wow, you are making it hard.

It was just that whiny "I'm sorry!"

So embarrassing.

My friends at the club actually asked me
if you were Canadian.

Dad, stop.

I wanted to thank you.

Thank me?

For how you protected me...

from knowing about Mom.

You know, I spent... so many years

feeling sure that you hated me, but...

now I think maybe you were
always on my side.

You just...

didn't exactly know how to show up.

Hard time back then.

No problem.

Well, maybe we could spend
some time together...

sometime.

Sure. Retirement's boring as sh*t.

I mean, how many Judge Judys
can you watch?

You know, they do a free breakfast
at some of the strip clubs in Atlanta.

Maybe you and I could do a waffles
and big time titties kinda thing, huh?

You do still like titties, right?

Ye... Mm, yeah. Um...

But... Or you could...

come to a pageant sometime?

Yeah, that's never gonna happen.

Okay, Dad. Good talk.

Yeah, okay.

I do have one regret, though.

Oh, yeah, just the one.

I never should've left your mom alone.

I knew she was
in a fragile state of mind. I just...

I had a big case and...

I thought
that she'd be fine for a few hours.

But when I got back, she was gone.

And you were crying.

You tried for a half an hour
to wake her up...

and neither one of us could save her.

I do have one other regret.

The Ice Capades.

You begged and begged until I finally
took you there just to shut you up...

- I was finally bonding with my dad...
- How 'bout that time...

...but now all I could think about
was Patty.

She was in a fragile state,
just like my mom.

She just broke up with Brick,

and the last time she ended
a relationship,

- she didn't exactly make the best choices.
- Dad...

I gotta go.

Uh, well...

Oh. Uh, okay.

Careful.

Go!

Good job.

I refused to let Brick
and Magnolia get the best of me,

so I decided to take control of my life.

I was gonna lose a bunch of weight,
get a revenge body, win State,

and let Brick Armstrong
eat his cheating little heart out.

You don't feel like eating anything?

Figured you'd be starving
after your workout.

I can't eat this.

I'm paleo now.

I can make pancakes.

I can't have anything processed.

You know what? Whatever.
I'll make myself some egg whites.

So...

how's the food stuff going?

- You still going to OA?
- Why?

Uh, because I get it.

I know food and alcohol issues
aren't exactly the same, but...

you ever want to talk, I'm here.

For how long?

Honey...

Listen.

I know I made a lot of mistakes.

And that probably added to you feeling
like you had to turn to food.

But I'm not gonna let you down,
not ever again.

Thank you for saying that, Mom.

My baby.

All right. Well, I gotta go to work.

Dixie called an emergency staff meeting.

All wiens on deck.

Call me if you need anything, okay?
All right.

The egg whites weren't gonna be enough.
Maybe some yogurt.

Just a little. For some crunch.

It was supposed to be a couple of bites,

but I was so stressed about getting
thinner, it just made me want to eat.

Probably should've gone to an OA meeting.

Screw it. The next hour would be
way better spent in the gym,

burning off all those calories.

Hey, I heard from Brick
about the breakup.

I wanted to check on you.

I was a mess.

Thanks. I'm okay.

You sure? I mean, you wanna talk about it?

I didn't have time for talk.

No, I'm just headed out to the gym.

Patty, I'm worried
that you might be triggered.

I'm not. I'm great. I'm inspired.

I'm gonna win State.
I'm taking care of myself.

You said it yourself,
Brick was a distraction.

- I know, but...
- So this worked out great, right?

I just want to let you know
that I am here for you. Anything you need.

What I need is for you to help me find
a talent for State.

Great! I can do that.
Let's get started on that right away.

But the gym...

Well, the gym can wait.
There's no emergency, right?

The faster I found a talent,
the faster I could get to the gym.

We'd been trying to find
a talent all day.

We were both grasping at straws.

Patty, what is that?

A sword. Or a fairy wand.

Eiffel Tower? Leaning Tower of Pisa?

- This is not gonna work.
- I don't know what else to do.

We've tried singing
and handbells and bongos.

How am I gonna win State?

We're running out of time.

Whoa! Whoa! Let's take a break, huh?

We'll grab some food.
Wiener Taco. My treat.

I couldn't eat wiener tacos and stay thin.

I can meet you there in an hour.
I'm gonna just hit the gym first.

Patty was acting weird.

There was no way
I was letting her out of my sight.

Patty, this is so great.

We should do all our workouts together.

Hi. Jonathan.

You're either trying to pick me up
or sell me training sessions, but...

either way, it's not happening.

Okay, first of all,
you have horrible gaydar,

and I'm not trying to sell you anything.
I just want to say hi.

Hi.

It's your second time in here today.
Impressive.

Yeah. Well, it's pageant season.
I've got calories to burn.

I noticed. Three hours on the bike
this morning and now a run?

Aren't you exhausted?

No. I have tons of energy.

Just be careful.
It's not healthy to over-cardio.

I'm not. I'm pushing myself.

People can get crazy.

Well, I'm not crazy,
but thank you so much for your concern.

Bob, let's go.

Oh!

Thank God. I'm starving. Shower up.

Meet me back here in five?

Patty,

I know you just broke up with Brick,
and it is nice to get attention,

but I'm pretty sure that guy is gay.

K-pop!

Dixie!

What's all this?

I decided, now that I'm Korean,

I wanted to make this place
look more like Korea.

What makes you think
this looks like Korea?

She googled Korea and found
a bunch of K-pop videos.

Just go with it.

Hey, I was looking for you after
the dance, but you split.

I'm Henry, Dixie's bio bro.

Uh, hi.

Mm, I'm so sorry. She...

She can't right now.

Wh... Hey!

Bob, what are you doing? He's hot!

You need some time to heal.

Let's just leave bio bro alone,

at least until we find you a talent.

Well, spit on my tits!
Ain't this a nice surprise?

- You want to join us?
- Oh, no, I can't.

I'm on my new Korean-style
two-minute break.

If I sit down, I'll get electro-shocked
by this godforsaken new tie.

That poor girl's got her Koreas confused.

What are you guys doing here?

Oh, it's just a little food break.

Before we can go back to figuring out
more things that I suck at.

We are having a little trouble finding
a talent for State, but we will nail it!

We still have a few weeks, and then

your mother and I will be there to cheer
you on when you get that crown!

Uh, yeah. Um... About that...

What?

I can't make it.

Seriously?

You said you would never
let me down again.

Except this one last time.

I am so, so sorry!

Dixie's making us get new hairdos
from this K-pop stylist that day.

- You can't get one day off?
- I wish I could,

but I need this job for us.

You know what? Whatever. Keys?

I'm taking the car.

The least you can do for me
is get a ride home.

You wanna go after her, or should I?

Oh, no, don't. She needs her space.

She'll get over it.

You know she always does, right?

God... g*dd*mn it!

- What?
- I didn't... I...

I could blame Brick's rejection
on the size of my body...

but my mom's?

That must've been about me.

All I wanted to do was go home and eat.

Was that too much to ask?

Hey, I can help you with that.

All right.
You're gonna have to tell me what's wrong

'cause I'm pretty sure
it's not just about the car.

I'm not telling you my problems.

Then I'm not fixing your car.

Fine. You really wanna know?

My mom pretty much bails on me
at every turn.

So, shocker: I feel horrible about myself.

I totally relate to that.

Really?

Yeah. I'm pre-law and pre-med,
which is, like, impossible, okay?

And it's still not enough.

Ever since Dixie disappeared, the pressure
to succeed was just put on me...

Screw Brick. Was this my sh*t
at getting an even hotter boyfriend?

All right. All fixed.

Loose alternator wire.

You wanna get outta here?

Oh, I wish. I have somewhere to be though.

But, hey, you can totally come with
if you can give me a ride.

For the first time in a week,
I didn't think about food

because Henry was a snack.

Ladies, give it up for Diesel!

And suddenly, I had a new obsession.

So, let me get this straight,

you're a pre-law, pre-med stripper.

Do you do this to pay for school,
or to piss off your mom?

Pissing my mom off
is definitely an added benefit,

but I do it to feel good about myself.

How exactly does taking your clothes
off in front of strangers

make you feel good about yourself?

It gives me confidence.

Right,
'cause you had a confidence problem.

I did. Look, Asian-American guys get
treated like the bottom of the barrel.

We're the least swiped
on all the dating apps. It's a thing.

After a while,

that kinda stuff messes with your head,
no matter what you look like.

So you decided to strip.

Yeah, as a way to get
comfortable in my skin.

When the clothes come off,
your skin's the only thing left, right?

He had everything I wanted.

He was better than a sponsor.

Do you think you could teach me...

to feel good in my body?

Yeah! Through meditation,
breath work, movement.

It takes time, but it's worth it.

Whoa! What's worth it?

What are you doing here?

I followed you from the Wiener Taco to
save yourself from your own bad judgment.

It's not bad judgment. I think
I might've found my talent for State.

What? You want to strip?

Stripping...

Stripping is not a talent!

Screw you!
You get up here and do this!

Oh, no, I meant for her. You guys are...

Oh! You're doing amazing.

Here... Thank you...

for your service. Mmm.

Bob, not strip! Dance!

Do you think you could teach me to dance?

Yeah. I mean...

I guess.

Fine. As long as the clothes stay on.

How soon can you start?

So are you gonna just keep staring at me,

or are you gonna tell me
why you wanted to come over?

We need to talk about our kiss.

Look,

I care about you...

a lot,

but I'm really trying
to just focus on myself right now,

so I think we should just keep
things simple and...

stay friends.

Right. Um...

Friends. Totally.

So, how's the Hughes application going?

Hard.

Especially these essay questions.

Well, I'm sorry. I'd help,
but essays aren't exactly my thing.

I guess that's one good thing
about me skipping college.

Have you figured out
what you wanna do yet?

Well, I have one idea,
but it's probably stupid.

Tell me.

So, remember when you told me to watch
those YouTube kissing videos?

I still can't believe you did that.

Turns out the people who make those
can make a ton of money.

So you want to make kissing videos?

No, but I want to be an influencer
doing something...

that I'm good at.

The only problem is
I have no clue what that is.

You are good at...

being a good guy.

I mean, whenever we talk,

I feel like you're always listening.

Hm.

Like...

really...

listening.

So...

- that might be something.
- Right. Um...

I could make a video
of me really listening.

And then people could watch it!

It would be
like those aquarium videos for dogs!

Like this. Here...

What are you doing with your face?

Okay, you might be onto something
with this whole good guy thing, but...

not this.

Rudy just invited me to his apartment.

So what's the big deal?

- The big deal is he's hot.
- Yeah, I guess he is handsome.

Come on. He looks like gay Superman
with his muscles

and the dimples and the perfect teeth.

I think

it'd be good for me to have a rebound,
even if it's just a distraction.

Don't you think?

Sure. I gotta go.

Sh...

What in the world?

- g*dd*mn, it's dusty in there!
- Regina, what are you doin'?

I don't know if you heard, but...

I stole Dixie
from the Mall of Minneapolis.

Yes, I heard.

- So, I'm hiding from the cops.
- In my closet?

Technically, it's the space between
the closet and the wall.

Luckily, I still had a key
from when I sold you the house.

Okay. You know what? I'm calling the cops

- because this is creepy.
- Oh, no! I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Otherwise, I won't give you the name
and number of our Tampoozle investor,

so you can carry on while I'm gone.

You know what?

You're a convicted felon,
and if you think that I am gonna let...

What? Shelby?
Okay, what's Shelby's last name?

You've reached
the Georgia Department of Corrections.

Please stay on the line
as our menu has changed.

Hey, man. Thanks for coming.

Here. I brought some wine.

Come in.

Uh, thanks.
I don't usually drink when I work.

Wait. Uh...

This is a work meeting?

Yeah.

What'd you think it was?

That. A work meeting.

Just the two of us working
professionally, here in your apartment.

Why are we in your apartment?

'Cause I have
a theory about Roxy's m*rder.

Of course.
You want to talk to me about Roxy.

And the chief told me to drop it, but...

I can't.

So, you know, we needed to meet in secret.

Got it.

What is your theory?

Your daughter's m*rder seemed
too ritualistic to be a one-time thing.

The way the body was staged,
that's the behavior of a serial k*ller.

Do you have any suspects?

Well...

Patty Bladell.

No. There's no way Patty Bladell
is a serial k*ller.

- I'm not so sure.
- Well...

I'm also looking at

Heather Kristina Pamela Kendall
Jackson Johnson.

- You know, the runner-up behind Patty.
- Hm-mm.

You know she went to compete
in another region and won.

Now that sounds like a girl who'd do
anything to win.

I'm not waiting for another m*rder,

so I'm going to State on my own dime.

All right.

There's just one problem.

I don't know
anything about the pageant world.

That's why I called you.

You were a pageant dad
for so long with Magnolia,

I figured you could help me navigate
the waters, give me the inside track.

Of course, especially if I can help
catch Roxy's k*ller.

Great. Then you can share my hotel room.

Y... Your hotel room?

It's a pageant weekend,
and the hotel's almost completely booked.

- I got us the last room.
- Yeah.

Ready? And five, six, seven, eight.

And one, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

And one, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

Dang it!

Patty, it's not that hard.

Hm?

It's just one, two, shave that cake,

pop that Tic Tac, 'round the world,
and jazz feet. Now you try.

No! This is the 45th talent I've tried!
I'm worthless!

Calm down! We will get it!

Do you really have to be here every
second? Why can't you just leave me alone?

- Because you are fragile.
- What's that supposed to mean?

You just broke up with Brick.

And we both know
what happened the last time

- a relationship didn't work out.
- What happened?

- Nothing!
- Nothing!

Bob, back off. You are making me angry.

Hey, why don't we take
advantage of this rage?

I could teach you capoeira.

What's capoeira?

It's an Afro-Brazilian discipline
that blends martial arts and dancing.

It's perfect!

You mean
a Korean-American guy is gonna teach

a Caucasian girl an Afro-Brazilian dance?

Isn't that cultural appropriation?

At some point,
doesn't it all just cancel itself out?

It took me a minute to get up to speed,
but Henry was right.

I was a capoeira natural.

I had finally found my talent.

Plus, I had found the solution
to my bingeing.

With Henry around,
I totally forgot about eating.

And we were dancing so much,
I didn't have to go to the gym.

But while this should've been
the hottest montage ever,

I had my coach
as a constant cockblocking companion.

I still felt like I was starving,

but this time, not for food.

Leave room for Jesus!

And the student surpasses the teacher.

Nope.

We leave for State tomorrow,

and you need to get home
and get a good night's rest.

I'll drive. She'll call ya.

I just wish Bob
would leave me and Henry alone.

- Feels like we're soul mates.
- Soul mates?

You guys have known each other
for, what, three weeks?

Four! But it feels like my whole life.

Plus, we've been spending
every waking moment together.

It all seems kind of fast.
I mean, you just broke up with Brick.

Look, before I met Henry, I was a mess.

I was broken and self-destructive.

But now, I... I have a great talent,

I have a hot guy,
and I'm totally gonna win State!

And Brick will be totally jealous.

- So, this is about Brick.
- No!

This is about me!

Henry is the best thing
that's ever happened to me.

How is OA?

I mean, aren't you supposed to not,
like, date for a year or...

Whatever. That's a dumb rule.

And besides, ever since I met Henry,
I haven't even thought about food.

Maybe that's because you've replaced
one addiction with another.

Can't you just be happy for me?

Not everyone takes things
as slowly as you.

What's that supposed to mean?

Nonnie, I mean, you and Dee have been
dating for, what, three months?

And you still haven't swiped your V card?

That's not my fault!

She keeps canceling on me!

She's using college as an excuse,
but maybe she's just not that into me.

Or maybe you need to just
up the romance factor.

Drive over there! Surprise her!
Bring dinner or flowers, or...

you know, toys, accessories.

- Oh, my God!
- Henry!

I thought we were about to get
a*-m*rder*d!

- Hi!
- Hey!

Henry, this is Nonnie.
Nonnie, this is Henry.

- Hey.
- What are you doing here?

Well, I thought we could use
some alone time, away from Bob.

And that's my cue.

Love you. Thanks, Nonnie. Bye.

Patty!

Patty! Sweetie, are you awake?

Yes, Mom! Hang on!

Crap. I'm late!

- Hey, wake up!
- Hey.

- We fell asleep. You've gotta go!
- Last night was...

Yeah, listen. Please just get dressed.

- Patty! Open this door right now!
- Bob?

Bob, I can explain!

Now I know why you aren't answering
any of my calls!

Everybody just calm down.

Do you have any idea
how important this is for her? And you!

You let her have a boy sleep over
the night before State?

I didn't know.

That's even worse. This is
the most important day of her life!

She doesn't care.

If she did, she'd be coming with us.

I have to go to work.

You should apologize.

Why? I'm not the one who keeps bailing.

I want Henry to come with us.

Absolutely not!

Finish getting dressed,
and meet me downstairs in five minutes!

It's okay. I'll drive up tomorrow,
in time for the pageant.

You would do that for me?

Of course I would.

I love y...

Pageants!

- I love pageants, yes.
- You love pageants?

Yeah, I'm not usually the guy
that says he loves pageants.

Like ever.

It's just these past few weeks
have been incredible.

I think that I love pageants too.

Nonnie was wrong.

Henry wasn't just a replacement drug.

He was my cure,
and I wasn't ever gonna let him go.

You okay?

My gosh! I should've stayed away.

No matter what I do, I always manage
to f*ck things up with her.

We all mess up.

I mess up with Brick all the time.

Doesn't mean I stop trying.

If I can find common ground with my dad,

I mean, anything is possible.

So, stop feeling sorry for yourself
and just do better.

And...

take it from me,

nobody's better off without a mom.

All right, yeah.

All right. Ready to go.

Well, good luck, sweetie.

I know you're gonna be amazing.

I decided to take Patty's advice
and give Dee a sexy surprise.

Oh, sh*t!

But since I had zero experience
in the sexy department,

I figured I might need backup.

Dee was supposed to be studying,
so what was with the suitcase?

What the hell?

Was she going
on a secret weekend getaway without me?

I did what a cop would do.

Follow the suspect
and collect as much evidence as possible.

Oh, my God!

Y'all look so Korean!

Dixie, I need the weekend off.

No way! Today is hair.

Tomorrow is optional plastic surgery.

Fine. No job is more important
than showing up for my daughter.

I quit.

- What?
- Me too!

I googled what it says on my name tag!
It doesn't say Carly.

It says "cock face."

Um, you can't just leave Korea

without permission!

That's the wrong Korea, idiot!

- You know what? I'm quitting too!
- What?

- Now I'm stuck with this haircut!
- What? No! I don't think so!

- Hey!
- Peace out!

You can't just walk away
with your uniforms!

What is going on? Why is everyone leaving?

Apparently they all hate Korea.

There's more to being Korean
than just K-pop, Dixie.

Look, I get it. You've been through a lot.

It makes sense you'd be spinning out.

I am not spinning out!

I just wanted to be a part of the family,

and I thought maybe if I embraced
my new cultural identity...

You already are
a part of the family, Dixie.

We came all the way here from Minnesota
just to find you.

Why do you think I've been
hanging out here every day?

I wanted to get to know my sister.

Oh.

You're really sweet.

Are you sure we're blood related?
Because you are so hot.

Good guys do give to charity.

Good guys...

don't catcall women.

Good guys do wipe the toilet seat.

Good guys...

don't think no means yes.

Brick, what is this?

It's "Good Guys Do and Good Guys Don't."

It's my new YouTube channel.

You are always telling me
that I'm such a good guy, so I figure

why not teach other guys to be good too?

Good guys do open the door for a lady.
Good guys don't fart in an elevator.

- Why are you laughing?
- I'm sorry because

you're being so serious, and... but you're
talking about farting! It's funny!

No, it is serious! It's super rude
to fart in an elevator! Not funny!

You're right. It's... It's not funny.

It's... totally perfect.

And totally you, in the best possible way.

Uh, good guys don't kiss girls

who just told them
they're trying to focus on themselves.

Do you think this hotel has a gym?

There's no time for that!

We should go over the itinerary,

decide what you're gonna wear
for the meet and greet with...

Gloria Reyes?

I didn't realize she was gonna be here!

That must be
a last minute addition to the schedule!

Who is Gloria Reyes?

Only a former Miss Philippines
and Miss Universe,

and the fiercest pageant coach
on the planet!

It is imperative
that you make a good impression!

Why? It's just a meet and greet.

These meet and greets are a ruse!

They say they're just casual,

a way for the contestants to get to know
each other and have a photo op,

but Gloria is a spy.

She will be watching all of you
from the second you walk in that door,

and she could have
a huge influence on the judges' decision.

Oh, my God! She's here!

She's a legend. I've met her before.

I'll introduce ya.

Excuse me. Miss Reyes?

I'm Bob Armstrong.

We've actually met before.

Are you the fellow who parked my Benz?

Hm... no. I'm a pageant coach.

We sat next to each other
at the welcome brunch for Miss Beeftips.

It's not important that you remember me,

but I promise you will remember my client,
Patty Bladell!

Patty! Now is not the ti...

Your client might want
to work on her manners,

Mr. Barnstrong.

I knew Henry was a bad influence.
You're obsessed!

I'm not!

I told you to make a good impression!

This could be devastating to your chances!

Who knows what Gloria's gonna tell
the judges or...

It'll be fine!

I am gonna make a great impression! Look!

Your dress!

It's too big!

I know! I'm thinner! Isn't it amazing?

No! The pageant is tomorrow!

I'll have to call the concierge
and see if they have a sewing machine.

But aren't you proud of me
for losing weight?

I never told you to lose weight.

Have you been eating?

You mean overeating? No!

When I'm with Henry, I don't want to!

I'm telling you, he's like the best thing
that has ever happened...

I mean, have you been eating at all?

Well, I'm not bingeing.

I'm losing weight. What is the problem?

The problem is I'm concerned.

You have issues with food,
you've been acting erratic,

and that dress fit before.

Are you starving yourself?

Hello! I've been doing capoeira
for like eight hours a day for weeks!

- Patty...
- This is such bullshit!

First, my mom bails on me.
Now you're just assuming the worst.

Is anyone on my side?

Of cour... I am on your side.

Great! Then can you just get
a sewing machine and fix my dress?

I have to change.

Can you promise me that you will eat
something at the meet and greet?

I promise.

You know what? I'm going with you.

You can't! No coaches allowed!

Bob, please.

Don't make this weird.

Just go. I have to get dressed.

You're too old to be one of my kids,
and I'm not into brunettes,

so who the hell are you?

Oh, I'm Coralee Armstrong.

I own Tampazzle,
or you might know it as Tampoozle.

Where the hell is Regina?

Oh, she's on the run from the law.

Attagirl!

Which means she won't be involved anymore.

And while Regina being a criminal herself
might be okay with this situation,

I am not.

So I just wanted to let you know
that I have signed a letter of intent,

and I'm planning on reimbursing you
just as soon as I find another investor.

One that's more, um...

What's the word?

Legitimate.

Oh!

Well, um...

what's the word?

No f*ckin' way!

Excuse me?

Just because Regina's out
doesn't mean I am!

Who exactly do you think you are?

I am the boss.

Okay? Because you are in there,

and I am out here.

And there is nothing you can do about it.

Bob was dead wrong.

If I wanted to make
a good impression on Gloria,

eating was the last thing
I was about to do.

Welcome,
Miss Georgia American Lady contestants!

I am Candy Mullholland,
this year's pageant director.

We are so excited...

Was that Heather Kristina Pamela
Kendall Jackson Johnson?

...our very special guest with us tonight,
Miss Gloria Reyes!

What are you doing here?

Didn't I b*at you at Regionals?

I competed in another region and won.

And who cares?

The only reason you're here
is because you m*rder*d Roxy.

- k*ller!
- Runner-up.

It's no wonder
nobody wants to be around you.

I thought we were past that?

After Roxy's memorial.

I guess you thought wrong.

You never get past being a k*ller.

Heather was right.

It didn't matter if I got a revenge body
or a hotter guy.

I was still me.

So what was the point
of trying to be in control?

Patty Bladell!

It's your turn to sit with Gloria.

I should've been worried
she'd heard the rumor.

But now all I could think about was pizza.

Hello, Patty. It's nice to see you again.

You have become
quite infamous around here.

What do you mean?

I heard a little rumor.

That you k*lled Roxy Graham.

Who told you?

That Heather girl

with that exceptionally long
and stupid name.

She's telling everyone.

Oh, my God.

I can't imagine
what you must think of me now.

What I think

is that I'm impressed.

It seems that you and I have
something more in common than I thought.

What do you mean?

The night before I won Miss Universe,

everyone was talking about
how my father was the leader

of the most notorious g*ng
in the Philippines.

And if anyone b*at me,

they would meet
the wrong end of a machete.

Was it true?

Doesn't matter.

Everyone was so terrified of me,

they couldn't focus.

That rumor helped me win.

So can you.

It doesn't matter.
I'll still be the same person.

No, you won't! Don't you get it?

Nobody talks about my father anymore.

Nobody cares.

All they can see is the crown.

And once you get it,

the past is erased.

And then I'll be happy?

Happiness is for princesses.

Queens take control.

Why do you think I started that rumor
about my father in the first place?

Gloria was right.

Queens take control.

Which meant I was gonna do
whatever it took to get that crown.

Detective? What are you doing here?

Are you still following Patty?

I'm here on official police business.

I can't talk about it
without compromising the investigation.

What about compromising
my client's reputation

and her chances
at the biggest pageant of her career?

Is there a problem, Bob?

Makin' another public scene?

What?

Are you two here together?

Well, that is none of your business.

You know what? I don't even care.

- I don't even care!
- You know what?

Why don't we just take a breath? Hmm?

Let's just go...

grab a drink at the bar.

There's no reason
why we can't all get along.

There's a ton of reasons.

Yeah, do me a favor.
Just stay away from my client.

I couldn't afford any distractions.

I didn't want to make the same mistake
my dad did with my mom.

I needed to keep my eye on the prize.

Where the hell was Patty?

I had done the math on that pizza,

and I had just enough time to burn it off.

I'd lock myself in my room, work out,

and not eat until after the pageant.

I wasn't gonna let anything stop me.