01x03 - Madams and Madames

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Eastwick". Aired: September 23 – December 30, 2009.*
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Based on the film "The Witches of Eastwick" and the novel of the same name, "Eastwick" tells the story of three very different women -- Roxie, Kat, and Johanna -- who are drawn together after a weird encounter in the park and a few martinis.
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01x03 - Madams and Madames

Post by bunniefuu »

Welcome to Eastwick... a quaint little town,

but look beneath the surface
and what you'll find

may surprise you...

women with the power to foretell the future,

control men's minds with just
a flash of their eyes,

or summon the fury of mother nature.
Aah!

But when a mysterious stranger arrives

with the promise of sex and trouble,

these women and this little town

will never be the same.

So I brought you some more pictures today,

see if we can jog your memory.

Ah, here we go. Do you remember her?

Here. Here, why don't we put this down right here?

So what do you think?

I call this one "Eastwick
steel-cut oatmeal stout."

Tastes like beer.
Yeah.

So why exactly are you buding a brewery?

I was thirsty.

Well, I'll tell you what...
you made Raymond's year.

Ah, yes, Raymond.
That does remind me.

What's this?
My personal attorney, as promised.

She will guide you through the divorce,

and when she's done with Raymond,

he will need your permission
to scratch his own ass.

Darryl, I think that Raymond and I

are gonna give it another chance.
Mmm.

You know, he's been making a real effort lately.

I... I think he's changing.
Keep the card just in case.

No, but thank you.

All right. It will be waiting if you ever need it.

Hey, kitty Kat, they're giving away beer cozies.

Be right back.

So, Darryl, I was wondering if I could ask you

a few questions for this article
I'm doing for the paper.
Sure...

Great.
In a bit. Roxie?

Walk with me.

I've been thinking
about you.

Let me guess... naked and covered
in some kind of cooking oil?

Mm, canola, yes,

but I'm actually talking
about something else.

I'm worried about you.
Are you okay?

Well, that look on your face
is kind of wigging me out.

This is the face of concern.

You recently made a proclamation
that you wanted to see

an enemy of yours strung
up in the town square,

and one day later, he
accidentally hanged himself

in a very gruesome fashion
in exactly that location.

And I figured you might
be somewhat, oh, well,

as you would say, wigged out.

Oh, that. I'm fine.

Are you sure?

Look, I'm not saying
it wasn't traumatic for Mia

and for me, and I may believe
in a lot of crazy crap,

but I don't think I have
the power to k*ll someone

with my words.
Hmm.

Ah! The real reason that
I'm building a brewery...

Giant scissors.

Am I crazy, or did I just hear you scream?

You know how sometimes when
you're drunk, you think you see

your daughter's dead
date r*pist standing there

with a string of lights
around his neck? No? Just me?

I would like to welcome you all

to the groundbreaking for
the Eastwick brewing company,

setting a new standard
in lagers, ales and stouts.

Yeah!
I know there was some resistance at first,

but when Mayor Fox and
the rest of the town council

had a chance to try our
product, they came around.

My only hope is that once they sober up,

they don't change their minds.

Now what do you say we... we dig a little dirt

and we start drinking?

Cease and desist! Cease and desist!

Stop! Stop this right now! This is an abomination!
Cease and desist! Cease and desist!

I have an injunction...
Cease and desist!

Here in my hand... cease and desist! Cease and...

That explicitly forbids the building of a brewery

on this property.

Well, that's a buzzkill.

This man is not to be trusted.

He is a wolf in sheep's clothing,

and I know the truth about him.

This land was promised to the church.

Did you really think
you could get away with this?

I may not be able to match him bribe for bribe,

but I know right from wrong!
Yes, I do! Yes!

Share it with me! Yes!

Pastor Dunn, surely we can
work out some sort of a deal.
I do not make deals

with liars or criminals,

Mr. Van Horne.

Another time, perhaps.

We have driven him off!

Yes, we have!

Pastor Dunn! Pastor Dunn!

That was awful.

I feel like everyone was talking about me

behind my back the whole day.
That's because they were.

Thank you.
Sorry.

Hey, it's your first day back
to school since your boyfriend

accidentally hung himself. Of course they're talking.
He was not my boyfriend.

They think he was.
You're like a celebrity now,

like Jackie Kennedy or Debbie Rowe.

More like Jackie.

Hey, guys.
Hey, Stephie.

We're having a memorial tonight
for Gus at the swimming hole.

It starts at 8:00. We'll be there.

Mia, I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm making a playlist for
the memorial... nothing but emo.

It's gonna be a total sob fest.

Okay, see you guys there. Bye.

"We'll be there"? I'm not gonna go to that thing.

And she didn't even know him.

I mean, she used to call him "Greaseball,"

And he hated emo. This
whole thing is just weird.

Mia, people are gonna expect you to be there.

Do you want people to start
treating you normally again?
Yes.

Then we're going to the memorial,

and I'm borrowing your black wrap dress.

He's got the whole council in his pocket.

He's got you in his pocket, for heaven's sake.

Oh, I assure you, Pastor Dunn,
I am in no one's pocket.

he owns the paper that you work for.

And if he tried to censor so
much as one word of my story,

I would quit on the spot.

Now this morning you said
that you knew the truth

about Darryl Van Horne.

Oh, indeed I do.

I'm listening.

Darryl Van Horne is evil.

I was hoping for something
a little more... concrete.

He chills me to the bone.
Well, I can't exactly print that.

What kind of a man steals
property from a church?

Why has he bought up nearly
every business in our community?

What could he possibly want
with that kind of power?

Now the people in this town...
they may have fallen

for his money, for his promises

to dig us out of the deep financial hole

that we find ourselves in,

but at what spiritual cost?

I really hear what you're saying,

but, um, that's not exactly a news story.

I'm not surprised to hear you say that.

Don't think I'm unaware of
your relationship with that man.
Excuse me?

And as you and your friends get
publicly intoxicated and dance

in fountains with Mr. Van Horne,

each and every one of the values

that we hold sacred and precious in this town...

they are eroded by your behavior.

I think this interview's over.

He's here to destroy us, to ruin us,

to breed death and debauchery!

He must be stopped!

Wow. Four times, and I haven't
even made dinner yet.

Have I told you lately that you're amazing?
No. Tell me again.

You're amazing.

You're not so bad yourself.
Mmm.

Hey, Roxie.

Well, if it isn't Eastwick's answer to Lois Lane.

To what do I owe this unbridled pleasure?

Well, you keep avoiding our interview,

so I thought I'd take matters
into my own hands,

get a little proactive.

I believe that's called an ambush.
It's just a few little questions.

I promise I'll be gentle.
Okay.

But first, I'm thinking of using this one...

for the light lager

and this one for our dark beers.

Do you think people will get the joke?

What about the injunction?

Oh, I'm... a minor roadblock. I'm not worried.

If I were you, I'd be a little bit worried.

Pastor Dunn may be a self-righteous blowhard,

but he holds a lot of sway in this town.

I think he's gonna come around.

I think he just needs a little... nudge.

Okay, then.

I guess I only have one question then.

Look me in the eye.

Happily.

Tell the truth.

Who are you...

And why did you come here?

You don't want to kn ow.

Hello.

Ah, wonderful.

Wonderful. Mm-hmm. Tonight, 8:00.

Very good. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Goodbye.

Terribly sorry, but something
very important has just come up.

I must reschedule our interview.
Fidel will see you out.

Hey, Mrs. Gardener! Hey, Mr. Gardener.

There's something wrong with our fridge.
Yeah, well, I'll buy you a new one.

Ooh! Daddy just got paid!

Would you please go get cleaned up?

'Cause I'm taking you to dinner...

I'm talking, like, tablecloths and everything.

Wow, like a real, live date.
Mm-hmm. mm-hmm.

Mmm.
Mmm.

Come on, girl, let's go.

That's weird.

We should ride to work
together more often, baby.

Why, 'cause that's what couples do?
Oh, it's what environmentally
aware people do.

Carpooling is very hip, very now and very green.

Oh, isn'that adorable?

I'll see you later. Text me if you get a break.

He wants you to text him. o.m.g.

Shut up.
Or is it a sexting thing?

I understand that's very big
with children nowadays.

I'm not doing this with you.

Not while you're doing it with him. I couldn't keep up.
You got that right.

Then again...
Oh, here we go. You're
the world's greatest lover.

You could take me to places
I've never been before.

Blah, blah, blah. Boring!

Heard it all before, stud.

He's half your age and twice
as hot, and for the record...

Yes?

Look, if you're going to scold
me, at least finish the job.

And I do enjoy an expl*sive ending.

What are you staring at?

Nothing.

You're just gonna think I'm crazy.
Try me.

Okay.

Gus was behind you until you turned around.

You mean Gus the...

Yes, Gus the dead guy. He keeps... appearing.

Well, makes a certain amount of sense, I suppose.
No, it really doesn't.

It's actually kind of weird and crazy.

You believe a lot of weird and crazy things.

I don't believe in ghosts.
Why do you think you keep seeing one?

I don't know. Psychotic break? Acid flashback?

Early Alzheimer's?

There are more things in heaven and earth, Roxie,

than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Okay, let's say it's not an acid flashback.

Let's say he's... for lack
of a better word... real.

What the hell am I supposed to do with that?
Seek him out.

Ask him what he wants.

If you can figure out why he's here,

you can probably figure out how to make him leave.
Would that same logic apply to you?

You already know what I want, Roxie.

And when I get it, you'll never ask me to leave.

"You don't want to know"?
That's what he said?

I know. Who says that?
I mean, you tell somebody

they don't want to know something,

it only makes them want to know more.

So I took this.

Ooh! A Van Horne venturess them
notepad? Score. Know more.

Hurtful. Here's a little trick that I learned

from a friend of mine named Nancy Drew.

42 Longwood Road.

Hmm. I think that's in Southwick.

Why would he be going to Southwick?

I don't know, but he said he
was gonna be there at 8:00,

and guess what? So are we.
Sweet! I have always wanted
to go on a stakeout,

ever since I was a little girl,
and I saw a movie...

Well, "Stakeout."

We can call it "Operation Estevez."

You know, because Emilio Estevez was in... in...
Oh, no. I get it.

I think I may even have a ski mask

around here somewhere. Oh! I know.

Hmm?

Wow.

Stalk much?

Uh, yeah, those are my Will pictures.

I kind of, um, got into this habit.

Every day when we were at work we'd be talking,

And... and I'd pretend to check my phone,

and I would just, like, snap a picture of him.

It started out really innocent,
and I swore that I would stop.

But then he'd come in looking so cute,

and I'd say, well, I don't have a picture of him

in that outfit yet, and, well, there you have it.
You're just like Emilio Estevez in "St. Elmo's fire"

when he takes all those ally sheedy pictures.
No, that was Andrew McCarthy.

Emilio stalked andie macdowell.

Huh. you know that
he's totally into you, right?

No, he... he only thinks that he is.

Okay, that doesn't make any sense.

I tricked him into thinking he likes me.

I take it back. You're
like Mare Winningham

in "St. Elmo's fire," choosing
to be lonely instead of happy.

We should totally rent that after our stakeout.

Oh, totally.

I call upon the spirit of Gus Lowicki.

I call upon the spirit of Gus Lowicki.

I call upon the spirit of Gus Lowicki.

I call upon the spirit of Gus Lowicki.

Where you at, Gus?

Hello.

Oh!

Sorry! We just let ourselves in.

Uh, we have come to raid your closet.

I'm going on a stakeout,

and I need something, like, Boris and Natasha.

Ah, yes. Russian spy special.

Got it.

Hot.

What were you doing just now?
Just taking my temperature.

You need instructions
to take your temperature?

You do if you're not really
taking your temperature

but actually trying to summon a ghost.
Oh, what?

I'm trying to summon the
ghost of Gus so I can ask him

what he wants. I got these
ghost-summoning tips off

the internet. If the temperature
in this room suddenly changes,

that's how you're supposed to know he's here.

Now would you like to drive me

to the mental institution yourself, or should I

take my own car?
You know what I think you should do, Rox?

You should ask yourself what Gus represents,

seeing as how he is a figment
of your own imagination

and exists entirely within your head.
Or you could visit this medium

that I profiled for the paper last year...

Madame Aleksandra. She seemed pretty competent.
Oh, good idea.

Okay, do you guys think that this will fit me?

Maybe, if you stuff a bunch
of toilet paper in the bra.

Hey, that is... that is accurate.
Okay, I will try that. Thanks.

Okay.

What do you think of this

for a night of snooping and spying?

Who are you spying on?

Uh... Darryl?

Why?

It's for a story that I'm working on,

but I haven't really figured it all out.

I just think he's up to no good.
Oh, I could have told you that.

Seriously, is this outfit stalker-worthy?

Yes. You look like Catwoman.

Okay, I'm comin' out, but be nice.

I just got lady wood.

If we were in college, a little
Indigo Girls on my iPod,

you wouldn't stand a chance.

Really? You don't think it's too much?

No, honey, it's just enough.

Oh, God. I don't know why
I... I'm so embarrassed.

I... I guess I just can't
remember the last time I got

all dressed up for Raymond.
Yeah, well,

probably the last time he was sober enough to notice.
Roxie.

Sorry.
No, it's probably true.

We both stopped making
an effort a long time ago.

Oh, speaking of which, I have to go.

Ray is expecting me.
Okay, but first, ladies,
please raise your glasses.

I'd like to propose a toast.

To a successful evening for each of us.

May I put my ghost to bed,

may you put your story to bed,
and may Raymond put you to bed.

Cheers.

Cheers.
Meow.

I'm catwoman.

Hey, do you remember,

Oh, was it junior year,

that we snuck out and came to this pool?

You know, most guys don't just forget

about the time they had sex in a public pool.

You were my wild child.

Mm.

Whatcha doin'?

Come on, wild child.

Raymond! Ccome on!
Before the cops come.

No! It's gonna be freezing.
Who cares? Let's just do it.

Are you insane?
Come on. get over that fence.

No! No! Come on. Let's go.

Come on. Come on.

Oh, God.

Whoo!

How is it?
It is freakin' freezing. Get in here!

Okay.

Attagirl.

Come on, kitty Kat. Come on.
Okay.

Whoo! Whoo! Shh!

Now you're talkin'. Come on, baby.

Oh, boy.

Whoo!

Whoo! Attagirl, kitty Kat!

Whew.

Huh. It's actually not that bad.

Weird. Why'd it get so warm all of a sudden?

It's like bathwater.

That's because you are so hot.

No, you didn't. No, you didn't.
Whoo! Whoo!

So who would you like to summon?

His name is Gus Lowicki.
I was hoping to talk to him.

Very good. Do you have anything of his?

Yes, actually. This is a t-shirt he left at my house.

He and my daughter dated briefly.

Okay. Now I would like you
to close your eyes

and relax.

Now take my hands.

We invite the spirit world in.

This is a place of safety and peace

where all are welcome to travel.

We invite Gus Lowicki.

Come and join us.

He is with us.
I don't see him. Where is he?

He's right in this room.
What would you like to know?

Usually I see him.
Shh. What would you like to know?

What is it that he wants from me?

What do you want, Gus?
Tell us.

It is safe here.

He says he seeks closure and peace,

and to know that the girl
he loved, your daughter,

is taken care of both in this world and beyond.

Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
Oh, no, no, no, no.

Come here. Sit down. This is a scam?

Down.
What do you want from me, lady?

This is Eastwick, okay?
This is what we do.
I'm not some idiot tourist.
this is real.

What do you want me to tell you?

You're not getting your money back,

if that's what you're thinkin'.
You know, it's people like you
that make everyone else

think people like me are crazy.
What I've been seeing is real,

and it is freaking me out,
and as far as my money goes,

you can choke on it.

Madame Aleksandra?

Madame Aleksandra?

You... here. Take it. Take it. Take it. Here.

Go. Go. Go!

And, like, sometimes, just,

like, he would start snoring
in the middle of spanish class.

But, um, but he was really cool,

and I'm really gonna miss him.

It just feels so empty inside.

Thanks, Amanda. That was really sweet.

Now who else wants to say something?

Mia?

This is Gus' girlfriend Mia.

I, uh, I really don't know what else I can add.

Um...

You know what? None of you
really knew him... at all.

He wasn't some great guy,

and you guys are all using
his death to make you feel

important or deep or something.

This whole thing makes me want to puke.

Uh...

When is he gonna get here?
And why is he having a meeting

at 8:00 at night at a teahouse?

Here. Have a gummi bear.

You know that I cannot eat
candy shaped like animals.

You want my iPod?

We need to go in there.

You think?

Definitely. We are not
learning anything out here.

And besides, all the action is in there

with Mrs. Yang. I... I just...

w.w.n.d.d.

What would Nancy Drew do?

Let's have some tea.

Two.

Two what?

Two for tea.
Yeah.

And tea for two.

You want tea?

Yes. Please?

You a cop?
What?

Frankie! What... oh.

Whoo! Oh, um, no need to get Frankie involved.

Stop. It tickles. Whoa.

How about... Hey, whoa!

Uh, we're not cops. Really, I swear. We're not.

Then what you do here? You here for work?
Yes.

Work.

I gots to get me a... j-o-b.

You willing to do a double?

Um... you mean like a dole shift?

Would you excuse us
for... for just a moment?

Okay, that was bizarre.

A whorehouse?

That figures. I bet you
Darryl's gonna show up

any second now and ask for a double.

This place is so creepy. Holy crap.

That's Pastor Dunn.

Holy crap.

Okay.

Uh... hey, hey, hey, hey.

Run. Oh.

You're not going anywhere
until you give me that phone!

Hey.

You wanna let us go.

I wanna let you go.

Okay, let's go.

Mm, I think we missed

our dinner reservation.
Yeah, it's cool. we can try again next Friday.

I can't on Friday. I have
martini night with the girls.

Ugh.

What? When is it gonna
be enough with those two?

You know I have never had girlfriends before.

I like them. I get to laugh.

You know, I don't have to be a mom.

I don't have to be a nurse.
I just get to be... me.

What, you can't do that with me?

No, no, no. that's not...

What I mean. It's just... it's just different.

I can't... I can't explain it.

Please? So why can't we just let this go?

Because people are talking.
Every day I gotta hear at work

that you're running around with
these girls, that you guys are...

you're doing things with each other. I gotta hear

about how you're screwing Darryl Van Horne.
Raymond, where is this coming from?

Darryl got you your job back.
That means I gotta turn my
head while he runs around

with my wife?
I'm not running around with anybody.

You're right. You're not,
because I don't want you

seeing him anymore, okay?
Wait a second. Wait a second.
You can't tell me

who I can and who I cannot
hang out with anymore, remember?

You know what, Kat? You
asked me to change. I changed!

I ask you for this one little
thing, and what do I get?

I get "no way, Raymond. No freakin' way!"

What are you gonna give up for me?
I've given up everything for you.

The past ten years of my life
have been dedicated to you,

to our kids, to my job.

These are the first friends that I've had

since junior high school. Why the hell

should I have to give 'em up, huh?
Because I am your husband,
and you will do what I say!

What the...

Josh, what are you doing?

You seemed kind of upset back there.

I... I thought you might need some help.

Well, I don't, so go away.

Okay.

Except in my head,

I was doing a whole "I'll be a badass

and save the girl" kind of thing,

but I might need some help
because I'm totally lost.

Awesome.

It's okay. I'll call my brother.

He'll come find us.

I've got g.p.s.
No, not your brother.

You wanna call your mother?

All right. Call your brother.

Just as soon as I... I get a signal.

So? What do you think?

These are great. These are all hi-res.

You can blow 'em up as big as you want.
My God! This is so juicy.

It's a front pager. Okay,
I'm gonna write my article.

I can't believe you just
stumbled into this. what luck.

I didn't just stumble. I was led.

What?

Nothing.

Whoa.

I thought you didn't like me.

No, I like you.

Clearly, I like you a lot.

But... you don't like me,

at least not for real.

Why do you keep saying that?
Okay, well, two weeks ago,

I tricked you into thinking
that you wanted to kiss me.

Joanna, I've wanted to kiss you

since the very first day I met you.

You have?

I was just too shy to do anything about it,

and you finally got up my nerve for me.
I did?

Yeah. I think you're amazing. You're...

Let's go back to my place.

No, wait.
What?

I wanna do this right.

Oh, we can do it all kinds of ways.

Wait, wait. I wanna take you
on a proper date first.

Who am I... Grace Kelly?

I've been waiting for this for two years.

You can buy me breakfast.
Wait, Joanna. I'm serious.

I know.

It's very sweet.

Okay, so Friday night?

Friday.

Okay.

Okay.

Aah!

What the hell do you want?

You know what I want. Say it.

I have nidea what you want.

Two little words, Rox,
and I'm gone forever.

Screw you.

Are you cold? Do you want my jacket?

No. Look, I'm... you really don't have to.

Thank you.

So, um,

how completely psycho was that eulogy

I gave back there?

Moderately psycho.

But you were right.

Not to get all Holden Caulfield on your ass,

but those mourners are
just a bunch of phonies.

Exactly.

Wait, um, you...

you came to the stupid memorial.

Gus and I were best friends for, like,

three months in kindergarten.

He may have turned out kind of...

but he was a nice kid,
and he had a nice mom,

and...

I just felt like I wanted

to... honor that or something.

Plus, I knew you'd be here.

Josh?

Over here! It's my bro.

Yeah. Yeah, I got that.

Hey, Chad.

Hey, Mia. Hey, idiot.

Let's get you guys home.

What a pleasant surprise.

Now do you like it dirty or with a twist?

I think it was my fault.

I better make it dirty.

I don't know how,

but I wished it to happen,
and so it happened.

And it turns out, my wishes are
pretty damn powerful.

I can make people choke
on chicken wings, too.

So you wished Gus would die, and he did.

And...

and I'm not sorry.
Good.

How is that good? I should
feel sorry, but I don't,

and that's why he's haunting me,

and that's why I'll never have
peace for the rest of my life,

because I don't deserve peace,
because I'm an awful person.

There's nothing awful about you.

You're a mother, and you love your daughter

more than anything in the world, right?
Of course but...

Well, Mia was hurt by this boy.

And no doubt, many other daughters

would have met the same fate
if they hadn't already.

Now why should you feel sympathy

for someone who doesn't deserve it?
Because.

"Because"... that's your answer?

Because it's the decent thing to do.

"To err is human, to forgive is divine"...

All that crap.

Mm.

"And I will execute great vengeance on them

with wrathful rebukes.

And they will know that I am the Lord

when I lay my vengeance on them."

"Pulp fiction"?

No, Ezekiel 25:17.

I wouldn't have pegged you
for a bible thumper.

The point is, why does
he get to have all the fun?

Vengeance is primal.

Why should we suppress our basic instincts

and sanitize our desires?

Just so we can go to bed every night

and feel... like decent people?

Tell me something.

What was the first emotion you had

when you realized Gus was dead?

Relief.

Yes.

Relieved he was gone,

relieved my little girl
wouldn't be afraid anymore.

Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh.

I'm going to hell, aren't I?

I can think of worse places to spend eternity...

Los Angeles, for instance.

Chad. What do you mean you have Mia?

Is she hurt? Okay, I'll meet you at the house.

Is everything all right?

I have to go home.

Thanks for listening, Darryl.

Anytime.

I am not in the mood.

I think my house is being bbed.
I think I need to leave Raymond.

I think we're having a sleepover.

Thanks for calling me back, officer.

Yeah, okay, I will.

What'd he say?
Well, whoever it was is gone now,

but myce was totally ransacked.
Oh, that blows.

I'm sorry, honey.
I just know it was Pastor Dunn.

He saw me taking photos of him at the whorehouse,

and I bet he just was looking for my phone

so that he could k*ll the story, but too late, sucker!
I still can't believe you went to a whorehouse.

I can't believe you had sex in a public pool.
Well, that was before Raymond
turned into Ike Turner.

I don't think he's changed at all.

Well, you two can share
the upstairs guest room.

I'll go get some fresh sheets.
Thanks, Rox.

Hey, are you all right?
I thought you were at Justine's.

I'm gonna let you guys talk this out.

Thank you so much for picking her up, Chad.

I don't know what I would have done.
No thanks necessary. That's
what boyfriends are for.

Not so fast.

What happened?
What's the point? You're just
gonna give me grief about it.

Try me.
I went to a memorial tonight
for Gus at the swimming hole.

Why would you do that?
Because I felt bad.

I was really wishing something
terrible would happen to him,

and it did, so... I guess I just felt guilty.

It is not your fault. Listen to me.

You have nothing to feel bad about.

Mom, he's dead.

He had a life and a family.

He had a mother who loved him
just as much as you love me.

It's sad that he d*ed.

And I guess I just went to his memorial

to honor whatever piece of him
deserved to be honored,

and I hoped it would make me
feel better, but it didn't.

You think I'm stupid, don't you?

I don't think you're stupid at all.

I think you're my salvation.

Aah!

Oh, my God. What is it? What happened?

It's... it's... aah!

Oh, that is amazing, Joanna!

I know. Right? Aah!

What's going on out here?

Look who made the front page!

That is my byline,

and that is the story that made me a star!

Wow. Tongues are gonna be
wagging all over town today.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I gotta go get the kids up and deal with Raymond.
Okay.

Congratulations!
Thanks, Kat.

Good luck.
Bye.

Mwah.
Bye.

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I can't stop staring at it.

I mean, like...

Like I want to.

I'm trying to avert my eyes.

Look, I'm trying, but I can't...
I can't stop looking at it.

Oh, my God!

You know what I'm gonna do?
stop screaming?

I'm gonna go to every vendor in town,

and I'm gonna buy a copy,

and I'm gonna see if they
recognize me from my picture...

In this morning's paper!
You know what I'm gonna do?

What?
Go back to bed.

Okay. Mm.

Victory is a beautiful thing, Fidel.

Oh, you are going to pay for this.

Raymond?

Ray?

Hey, kids?

Kids?

Hi, Mrs. Lowicki.

Hello.

I just wanted to give you this.

You know, gus really loved it,

and I figured you'd want to have it.

Thank you.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry, too.

Oh, lord,
there ain't no heaven ?
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