01x02 - When Cupid Is a Prying Journalist

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Modern Love". Aired: October 18, 2019 – August 13, 2021.*
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Romantic comedy explores "love in its multitude of forms – including sexual, romantic, familial, platonic, and self love", which are presented in eight half-hour episodes.
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01x02 - When Cupid Is a Prying Journalist

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♪ We face the music together ♪

♪ And throw our hats
in the ring ♪

♪ Facing all kinds of weather ♪

♪ And not afraid of anything ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ When the sun comes up,
we'll be on our way ♪

♪ And we don't care
where we land ♪

♪ And the waves are high,
but we won't turn round ♪

♪ 'Cause your hand
is in my hand ♪

♪ And, oh-oh ♪

♪ You make me feel invincible ♪

♪ 'Cause it's you and me ♪

♪ Through the wind and hail ♪

♪ Setting sail into the world. ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I happen to like New York ♪

♪ I happen to like this town ♪

♪ I like this city
and I like to drink of it ♪

♪ The more I know New York,
the more I think of it... ♪

- You can join.
- Let's go there.

- Are you serious?
- Here you go.

No, it's fine. We'll...

We can get it without the flash
next time?

So why the name "Fuse"?

Uh, seemed appropriate
for a dating app.

I like the two uses.

You know, the lighting
of a fuse,

the-the fusing of joints.

You know, two things
sort of... locked together.

- Mm. That makes sense.
- Mm.

- Ni... It's nice.
- Anyway, this is what I say:

"Fuse" isn't a dating website
as such, you know?

- Mm.
- In a brave new world, there is so much choice,

and so many options,
it's nice to have a guide.

I like "guide." I think
maybe I'll just end on that.

So where is this gonna,
you know, be appearing?

Uh, Sunday magazine, the Times.

Cool.

- Well, you know, thank you very much for your time.
- Oh.

- It's nice to meet you.
- You have something to string together there.

Oh, no, good.
I-I did want to ask, though,

have you, have you ever
been in love yourself?

I'm sorry?

I was asking if you yourself
have ever been in love.

Yeah. Uh...

No one's ever asked me that
in an interview before.

Oh. Oh, well,
I don't have to print it.

- Print-print what?
- That story that's written all over your face.

♪ ♪

Really? Is it that obvious?

Have you got a few minutes?

♪ ♪

Sorry, you guys.

We're running, like,
another five minutes late.

Uh, we are so sorry.

- Totally fine.
- All good.

Really? Because, uh, I-I have
more interviews to go to.

Oh. I'm so sorry about that.
I'll try to hurry them along.

That'd be great, because
we're already ten minutes late.

Thank you for that information.

I like that you did that.

I mean, they shouldn't
keep us waiting.

Of course, it does put you
at a bit of a disadvantage now,

in terms of... getting the job.

I don't care. Yeah.

It's important to represent
who you are at these things.

We're not late for them; they
shouldn't be late for us, right?

- Mm.
- Joshua. J-Josh.

- Emma.
- Andy.

How much for me to head off?

Because I am totally
getting this job.

- Really? Huh.
- Yeah. It's the accent.

- They love it.
- Right.

Give me a hundred bucks,
I-I'll leave it to you.

- I don't need an unfair advantage.
- Oh.

Right. Okay.

- Where'd you go to school?
- Harvard.

Oh, for God's sake, really?

No, just joking.
I didn't go to college.

You know, that might actually
be worse for me,

'cause it's like
self-made, edgy.

- You know? They'd love that around here.
- Yeah.

- Educated on the streets. Mm.
- Mm-hmm.

Taking the pulse
of the common man.

- Yeah.
- Yo.

- Uh-oh.
- I don't know why I did that.

- That was stupid. - When did...
did you just think you could pull that off?

- Hey, Emma?
- Yeah.

- Come on through.
- Oh, thanks. Uh, oh, well.

- It was nice to have met you.
- Yeah.

Good luck, yeah.

- So who got the job?
- She did.

Ah, she b*at you.

Not exactly. Uh, you know,

we sat there for
all of five minutes,

and I knew I wanted
to see her again.

Hey. How did it go?

- Oh. Hey.
- You get it?

I have no idea.

What... You should really
head back up there, though.

They're all wondering
what happened to you.

That's all right.
This is more important.

What's more important?

If I do the interview,
how would I ever see you again?

You'd be gone
by the time I came out.

So you just gave up your sh*t
at a steady well-paid job

so that you could see me again?

Are you sure
you're not just, like,

some random guy off the street?

Because if you are,
this is a really good way

- to get a date with someone.
- So we're going on a date?

Yeah.
What else am I gonna do?

I don't have another interview
for three days.

- Me either.
- Okay.

So then what do two unemployed
people do in New York City

at 9:30 a.m.?

The question is:
What don'twe do?

♪ ♪

So we just walked
around, exchanging life stories.

She told me about her plans
to develop a file sharing app.

I told her about my ideas
to set up a dating site.

Oh, my God.

- So I wonder how they met.
- Who?

These two.

They met here.
What, do you think they, like, met downtown

and decided
to move up here together?

- They... All the animals meet here.
- I know.

I-I'm just saying,
I wonder how...

I wonder how
this all works, you know?

- Dating in the animal kingdom.
- You're obsessed.

Just fascinating to me

- what that initial spark is, you know?
- Mm-hmm.

I don't really think
that animals have that.

I think they just choose someone
to have sex with and,

as long as it's the right
species, just... bang it out.

- They just bang it out, do they?
- Bang it out.

But you don't know that.
Maybe they're just really good

at knowing when
Mr. or Mrs. Right comes along.

Mm?

Okay.

So then why don't you ask him

what you would ask
your, uh, customers?

O-Okay. Uh...

- Hello. Hey, yeah.
- Hello. Yep.

- Come on. Sit down.
- Thank you.

- So, uh...
- Mm-hmm.

What are you looking for
in... a leopard?

"You know,
just... leopard stuff."

- Is that the voice you're going for?
- Yes. "That is my voice."

- That's the voice we're going for?
- "That's my voice."

So, wait, what-what do you mean,
"leopard stuff"?

Do you have any preferences?

"Well, you know,
it doesn't really matter.

- "Just as long as she's got the spots."
- Spots?

- "Mm-hmm."
- That's it? So even a cheetah would do?

"No. No, no.

"I don't like me no cheetahs.

"Uh, I prefer leopard spots.

And I can tell the difference."

♪ ♪

And yet love is so universal.

We understand so little
about animals, except that.

Hey, are you okay?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

I have this theory

that a relationship is
kind of like a rocket,

and you're trying to get it
into space.

And all you need is enough fuel

to get you out of
the Earth's atmosphere,

and then it'll keep going,
no matter what you throw at it,

in the, in the direction
it was launched.

It's all about
the first expl*si*n.

Yeah, less about do we have what
it takes for our whole life,

and more about that...
that initial thrust.

♪ ♪

Our first six months
were, like,

as close to perfect
as you can imagine.

We moved in together.

♪ ♪

I hit if off with
both her parents. Both.

Even her dad.

I even bought her
an engagement ring.

Which I hid, waiting for the
perfect night to spring it.

Then... we got knocked
off course.

Hey, you're back early.

Yeah. Yeah.

Got an earlier train.

Just finishing something,

then let's go out to eat,
my treat.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah?

How's home?
How's your mom?

Hey, what's up?

Uh...

I f*cked up.

What are you talking about?

Remember that guy
that I told you about?

Uh, the one from high school.
My first boyfriend.

Yeah. Uh, I remember
you said he got married.

He did.
And then he wasn't.

And, um, I saw him
at this bar.

And his wife left him
a couple months ago,

so we were hanging out,
and I sort of...

let him go back in time
a little bit.

Did you, um, sleep with him
or just kiss him?

I slept with him.

- Okay, bye. That's all I need to know.
- For, like, ten seconds.

And then I stopped it
and I came straight back to you.

I don't know, maybe this was
just one crazy moment before us.

Because I love you, Joshua.
I love you.

That's not love. That's guilt.
Love is trust.

- No, it isn't.
- That's all it is. That's the only currency,

- and you broke it!
- No, it isn't.

This isn't
your website manifesto.

Love is lots of things!

♪ ♪

I did what lots of people do

when they're forced away
from the thing they love.

You know, I-I threw myself
into work.

Ironically, the very thing
that got me through

- my romantic pain was
romance.-

Reading about it,
watching it, researching it.

I started seeing
other people again.

You know, it was
a slow recovery,

but I started
having faith in people.

The statistics I was
reading about contradicted

the ill will I had towards
the entire romantic community.

Uh, people actually generally
don't f*ck up.

Yeah, it gave me hope.

And then, about a month ago...

♪ ♪

For that moment, I realized
I hadn't really been...

fully alive
for the past two years.

I met amazing people.

Bright, funny, caring.

But none of them was her.

On that street,
for one fleeting moment,

I came alive again.

Jesus.

So what did you do?

I made an excuse,

and I left lunch with
my girlfriend to call her.

Hey.

It turns out, she's engaged.

f*ck!

For two years.

That's a long time.

I know I can't
just break up with her

and then years later
interrupt her life, right?

You need to tell her,
and more importantly,

you need to tell
your girlfriend.

I broke up with her, that night.

She's a lovely person,
you know,

every box I would look for
to be ticked, but...

I don't know, after seeing Emma
again, I just realized...

- It was like the leopard dating the cheetah.
- Oh.

Can I quote that bit, please?

- No.
- Please?

No, this is totally not
part of the interview.

That is not the image
I want to put out there.

f*cking lovesick CEO
of a dating agency.

Trust me, you will never rest

if you don't at least
give it a sh*t.

You can't carry this
your whole life.

Believe me, not knowing
will mess you up,

and potentially
any other woman you might meet.

And if she's really moved on,
then at least you can move on

and meet other people.

Hang on a second.
How are you so sure of all this?

Got a few minutes?

Yeah.

♪ ♪

He was a senior in college,

studying Shakespeare abroad,
and I was a 22-year-old

w*r photographer
living in Paris,

and we met in a bar
in the Caribbean.

Wait, I think I've heard
this exact story before.

- What?
- I'm joking. Is that real?

Oh, yeah... yeah.

Most people are like,
"We met in college

"and then again at a party
two years later

and then we had some coffee."

Yeah, I guess it was
an adventure, yeah.

Sounds like
The English Patient.

Yeah.

I thought about him every day.

Then a couple weeks after
I visited him in London,

he-he stood me up.

Yeah, he was supposed to come
visit me in my apartment

in Paris for the weekend,
and he never showed.

God, it just b*rned me to
know why he never showed up.

Wasn't that as perfect
an opening to a relationship

as you can get?

I just couldn't understand
how it could be

so different for him
than it was for me.

And all I had
to remember him by

was this one old photo of us.

So, I stuck it in a book

and I carried it around
with me,

from apartment to apartment,

from relationship
to relationship,

and even into my marriage.

So, uh, where you going?

Uh, to my book signing upstate.
I'll be back tomorrow.

What about the boys?

I told you.
It's a four-hour train ride.

I'm going directly
to the book signing,

and then I'm gonna stay
at a really nice hotel

that the publishers were
kind enough to put me up in.

Why don't you guys come?
You and the boys.

We could totally make
a weekend out of it.

- Remember them? Weekends?
- You know, I don't feel like half a day's travel.

Plus, I think
the kids have a game.

See you tomorrow.

♪ ♪

"I watched the little
girl prepare tea at the stove."

"There were no parents.

"We sat, the three of us,
together, sharing tea

"and Khajoor biscuits,

"just looking into one
another's eyes and giggling.

"I didn't take a single picture that day.

"These are the moments
I remember.

"These are the days
that wash over me.

The days I left my camera
at home."

- Thank you so much.
- Thank you so much.

It was, uh, it was my hope,
so I appreciate it.

Oh, wow.

It really is you.

And it-it, uh...

it really is, it's you.

Oh, my God.

Hello.

- Hello.
- Hello.

- How you been?
- Great!

But it was, it was Paris that
we were supposed to meet in.

- Yeah? And it was 15 years ago?
- 17 years ago.

- Ah.
- I lost your book.

I lost the book
you wrote your address in.

Let me remember.
It was... what was it?

- Anna Karenina.
- Anna Karenina.

- Right?
- Yes.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

What a... this is, this is
a really nice coincidence.

It's not a coincidence.
I saw your picture,

uh, online
advertising this thing.

- Oh.
- And I said, "I can't believe it."

She's gonna be here
in my hometown."

So I've been waiting
three months just to see you.

Actually, 17 years

and three months to see you.

- Yeah.
- And I can't believe it's you.

And you haven't changed a bit.

I, uh, I have to get...

- so, to get back, but, I mean...
- Oh, yeah.

- Uh, y-you're here to sign books. I understand.
- I am.

And thank you for coming.
It was so, uh...

- Okay.
- Okay.

I wrote my number on that.

Uh, if you're staying in town,
you want to get a cup of coffee

or something,
just give me a holler.

Yeah. Thanks.

No, I have to rush back home
to my husband and two children.

- Of course.
- Thank you, though.

It was so lovely seeing you.

Wow.

Hello.

Hi.

Hi.
It's so wonderful to meet you.

I love your work.

Thank you so much
for coming to our town, Julie.

So it turned out
that he hadn't stood me up.

Somewhere deep down, I knew it.

- Good night.
- Thank you.

♪ ♪

I can't believe that you
lost my copy of Anna Karenina.

I did.

And I've never been able to-to
read that book because of that.

I have no idea what happens.

Oh. Well, there's
brilliant prose,

and then she kills herself,

and then just some more
brilliant prose.

What, you couldn't
look after it better?

It was the one thing
you had to do.

Who steals a book?

I was on a Paris train.
I had the book in front of me.

It's a big book.

I figured I got to go
to the bathroom first

- before I read this thing.
- Oh, right.

And then I went there,
I came back, the book was gone.

- Oh.
- Nothing else, just the book.

Maybe one of our spouses
came back from the future,

alter the past,
and they stole the book.

Yeah.

- Life could've been different.
- Mm.

Then I wouldn't have had
my children, so there is that.

- Me either.
- You have children?

- Two kids.
- And wh... uh...

you're calling up old flames?

I've only had one old flame.

I got married
a year after I left Europe.

Quickly.

I got married quickly

'cause I was afraid
of losing someone else.

Maybe a bit impulsive.

Hi. Thank you.

Sorry.

Are you still with your wife?

We're under
the same roof, put it that way.

She's a good woman:
beautiful, great person,

great with the kids,
and I don't deserve her.

So, what are we doing here,
Michael?

Why did you show up
at my signing?

What were you hoping
would happen?

I was hoping that we could
carry on where we left off

and that I'd get a second chance

and that we'd both be
in a place in our life

where we could
fall in love again.

For 17 years and three months,

I've been fantasizing
that our attraction

and our spark
would still be there,

and I take you to a hotel room,
and we sleep there.

And then we agree
to go back to Paris

and find that romance
that we lost as adults.

- Michael.
- Mm.

We don't have to stay
in a hotel room

to find out
we still love each other.

We do, clearly.

Just the idea of you

just got me through a lot,
a lot in life,

and, uh, just knowing
you existed, you...

Come here.

♪ ♪

Let's get out of here.

Sometimes you
realize that true love

in its absolute form
has many purposes in life.

♪ ♪

It's not actually just about
bringing babies into the world

or romance or soul mates or
even lifelong companionship.

The love we had in our past,

unfinished, untested,
lost love,

seems so easy, so childish

to those of us
who choose to settle down.

But, actually, it's the purest,
most concentrated stuff.

I don't think we got
any sleep back then.

Now I can hardly keep
my eyes open one night.

I'm here.

Well, dawn is for lovers
and bakers.

- I got something for you.
- Yeah?

I happen to know you don't have
a copy of this book.

It's got brilliant prose,

and she dies,
then some more brilliant prose.

Thank you.

♪ Candy stripes... ♪

Be well.

I will.

♪ Lights against the sky ♪

♪ Red and yellow ♪

♪ Dancing in your eyes ♪

♪ I let my heart fly ♪

♪ Above the high wire ♪

♪ But we came spinning down ♪

♪ Do you remember
when the circus ♪

♪ Came to town? ♪

♪ Cavalcades and... ♪

Hey.

♪ Are only passing through ♪

♪ The painted wheels roll on ♪

♪ To somewhere new... ♪

I want to work on this.

♪ And I don't want to ♪

♪ But I still love you ♪

♪ And I can't turn it around ♪

♪ 'Cause I still remember
when the circus ♪

♪ Came to town. ♪

- How'd it go?
- I think we're done.

♪ ♪

Damn.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

"And then,
the CEO mask comes off",

"and I meet Joshua
for the first time.

"The polished young
dot-com whiz kid disappears,

"and what's left is an
emotionally complex young man

"who's thrown everything
he has at his website.

"Then he tells me what must
be the most romantic story

"of love at first sight
this writer has heard

"in a very long time.

It's about an ex of his.
We'll call her Emily."

Bathroom.

"Here's this kid bringing
thousands of people together",

"and yet he's all alone,

"carrying a torch
that's so bright,"

"it's burning him."

"Joshua doesn't want to
wake up in 20 years' time"

"and regret his silence."

"His story reminds me
of my own.

Of a love unlived
and untested."

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ The sky can't touch
the ceiling of human love ♪

♪ Human love ♪

♪ The wild,
instinctual feeling of human love ♪

♪ Human love ♪

♪ Out in the jungle,
there are buildings and cars ♪

♪ And it's survival of the
richest on the boulevard ♪

♪ Everyone's so phone-smart,
dumb in their heart ♪

♪ Searching for something,
but there's nothing ♪

♪ Quite as dangerous
as human love ♪

♪ The animals are watching us
watching the animals ♪

♪ Watching us
watching the animals ♪

♪ Watching us move ♪

♪ Like animals
would never move. ♪
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