01x01 - Augie Jeong

[bunniefuu]

FEMALE NARRATOR:
Our love lives can quite easily

be reduced to data.

For instance, by the time
the average person

ends up with the love of their life,

they will have been in
seven relationships.

Of those, two are often
long-term relationships,

while the rest are a mix
of short-term flings,

casual dating, and one-night stands.

The average person
will also fall in love

two of those times

and have their heart
broken twice as well.

Yet behind all of those numbers,

there is always a much bigger story.

This is the story of Darby Carter.

Darby doesn't remember
her parents ever being married.

They got divorced when she was four,

and she spent her childhood

being shuttled back and forth
between their new houses

and new families.

Coward. Won't even come to the door.

It's fine, Mom.

NARRATOR: This made Darby feel
like a permanent hotel guest,

one who couldn't stay
past : checkout.

Hi, Larry.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

NARRATOR: As a result,
Darby's adolescence

was marked by myriad misguided
attempts at connection.

You didn't have to walk me home.

Oh. But my house is just up there.

I didn't know you lived up here.

- Bye.
- Bye.

NARRATOR: Darby had no idea
where she was,

and she was so nervous
that this young man

would find out she'd been lying

that she took an anxiety
poo in his family's yard.

When Darby moved to
New York for university,

she imagined she'd become
a cosmopolitan woman.

Okay, yeah. Hi.

NARRATOR: In reality, it was fun,

but slightly empty.

Get the curtain.

NARRATOR: Darby started to
wonder if she'd ever reach

the next level,

where you're really dating someone,

where you don't change your outfit

just because you're seeing the person,

where you just wear what you're wearing

because you are who you are.

And then she met Augie Jeong.

♪ ♪

- _
- All right, baby girl.

This is the hottest you have ever looked

in your entire life.

- I'm serious.
- These are your clothes.

What is it like to be an actual goddess?

Oh, my God. I'm PMS-ing.
It's been dark since : p.m.

- I'm in no mood, man.
- Yeah, and I have a UTI,

but it's Jim's birthday,
so we gotta rally.

All I'm doing for his birthday

is, like, karaoke and a blow job,

so they both have to be really good.

I would never miss Jim's birthday.

I would, however,
make a polite appearance

- and then skip out early.
- You are k*lling me.

Once you leave,
it's just gonna be his work friends

talking about Occupy Wall Street.

Hey, you ladies are looking good.

- We know, bro.
- Eat sh*t, m*therf*cker.

♪ And I was thinkin' 'bout myself ♪

♪ Then there she was ♪

♪ In platform double suede ♪

- ♪ Yeah, there she was ♪
- Yeah!

I think Jim wants to f*ck
that Zooey Deschanel wannabe.

Shut up. He's so in love with you.

No, I know he is, but I still think
he wants to f*ck her.

♪ Who's that lounging... ♪

People can love people and
still f*ck other people.

You done with the book?

- What?
- Did you pick a song yet?

Okay, f*ck this.

Um, uh...

Sorry.

Hey, bitch. Excuse me.

- All right, titty boy.
- Yeah, I don't know.

No, no. We can look together.

Um...

I'm... I'm Augie, by the way.

- Uh, Darby.
- Furby?

- Darby.
- Darby.

Yeah, I know.

I've gotten Furby before,
at Starbucks a lot.

- Right?
- Yeah.

The names that I've gotten on my cups...

- ... f*ckers.
- [LAUGHS]

♪ I smell sex and candy ♪

Wow, Jim's girlfriend's on one, huh?

- Sara?
- Yeah.

Yeah, um...

yeah, she can't handle her liquor,

but uh, she drinks every night anyway.

Cool. So, she's an alcoholic.

- No! No.
- [LAUGHS]

I mean, she's...
you know, if we were older...

- Right.
- Maybe, but like,

right now, she's just, like, so fun.

[LAUGHS]

♪ ... surely is a dream ♪

Um, I actually have a song up next,

if you wanted to duet, perhaps?

- You already picked one?
- Yeah.

I just wanted to talk to you.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

BOTH: ♪ You cut me open and I ♪

- ♪ Keep bleeding ♪
- Oh, this part I know.

BOTH: ♪ Keep, keep bleeding love ♪

- Happy birthday, Jim!
- ♪ I keep bleeding ♪

BOTH: ♪ I keep, keep bleeding love ♪

- I mean, I know a little bit.
- [LAUGHING] ♪ Keep bleeding ♪

BOTH: ♪ Keep, keep bleeding ♪

- New York classic.
- Oh, boy.

People just say things like
"New York classic."

[MELLOW MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Well, this is me.

[LAUGHS]

I'm glad I got you home safe.

These mean streets.

Um, uh...

I'm trying to think of
something else to say.

Well, I should, um...

I should, uh...

My other roommate, Mallory,

like, literally lives
in this alcove thing.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Um, yeah, so...

I promise this isn't, like, a move,

but is it cool if we
hang out in my room?

Yeah.

Um, I mean, they've been divorced

for years or something.

So what about you?

Uh, my parents were
the complete opposite.

High school sweethearts that
are somehow still in love.

- That's nice.
- But they're Satanists,

so I guess it's not all good, right?

Balances out, you know?

Yeah, that's fair.

Are you losing on purpose?

This is so pathetic.

Well, I mean, to be honest with you,

I'm pretty sure you made this game up.

Oh, I did not. How dare you?

This is a very popular game.

Who's played this game before?

I've explained this to lots of people,

and nobody has ever critiqued

- me as a teacher.
- No, no, no, I... [LAUGHS]

They've... they say it's so fun.

So I don't know. You're the first...

♪ ♪

- I do want to hear about this game.
- I'm gonna tell you.

- Just gonna...
- Oh, yes.

- Yeah, it's... Yeah. [GIGGLES]
- I can...

♪ ♪

- Ow.
- What?

- You're bony.
- [LAUGHS]

- What?
- Just... I mean,

you... I just mean you have, like,

a surprisingly slender, fit, um, body.

Mm-hmm. Thank you.

Oh, no, don't, don't, don't, don't.

I'm sweaty, I'm sweaty, I'm sweaty.

It's okay. I like it.

[PANTING]

♪ ♪

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

♪ ♪

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

- Like, embarrassed.
- Babe, you were good.

It was good.

- Hey.
- Oh, hey.

Good morning, bud.

- Good morning.
- Hey.

Do you have coffee here?

Uh, I could make another pot.

Oh, no, that's okay.
I'll go out and grab some.

- Just gonna...
- Oh, yeah, go for it. It's communal.

[MOUTHING WORDS]

- Hey, morning.
- Hi.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Um...

I had a lot of fun last night.

'Cause you had a good time.
I... it was fine for me. Whatever.

Um, anyway, I have to, uh...

[SIREN CHIRPS IN DISTANCE]

I have to go play basketball
with some buddies.

Yeah, I have to, um, knit scarves

with the other Army wives.

- Cool. Cool, cool, cool. Nice.
- Yeah.

Do you want my number, or...

I'm just gonna leave it all
up to chance, you know?

I think I got a $ bill.
You seen "Serendipity"?

That's a... uh,
that's a solid reference, man.

[LAUGHS]

Okay.

Bye.

[SQUEALS] Oh.

- Okay, seriously.
- Okay, okay.

- Like, that's enough.
- I'll leave, I'll leave.

Okay.

All right, I'm leaving.

- See you, Jimbo.
- See you at work, buddy.

- See you, Sara.
- Bye.

Um, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. What just happened?
What just happened?

- What just happened?
- Excuse me.

Do I have a husband now?
Is he my husband?

I don't... I mean, I just... is that...

Is that what... Is that how that works?

Yeah, well, I'm glad
to see you're taking it slow.

I'm just excited.

Be happy for me.

- Jim.
- Come on, Jim. Please.

- So serious, Jim.
- Please be happy for me.

Mm, I can't think straight.

- Help me, help me, please.
- All I can do is smell these bath salts

- that I got...
- Morning.

- Oh, hey.
- Ugh, Darby.

Thank God. I need
a woman to look at these.

Which font do you like
for the escort cards?

- This one or this one?
- Um...

The left one.

- Yes. See?
- Mm-hmm.

Told you, babe. Whatever one you want.

Oh, God, honey, have an opinion.

It is your wedding too.

- Mm...
- Okay.

Speaking of which, Darby,

do you plan on bringing
someone to the wedding?

Not to pressure you or anything.

Um... yeah.

- Whoa.
- Hmm.

- New boyfriend?
- I don't know.

- Maybe.
- [LAUGHS]

Explains why you look
like sh*t this morning.

- Okay. All right.
- [LAUGHING] Oh.

Let's... let's leave her alone.

- See you at home.
- Bye.

- Bye, Kate.
- Bye.

Darby, your first tour today
is some assholes from Gawker.

Oh, f*ck you.

Gawker? What do I like about this job?

Maybe 'cause you get to say
"f*ck you" to your boss?

Very true. All right.

- _
- NARRATOR: That whole day,

Darby was buoyant.

Who knew when she'd see Augie again,

but for now, she was walking on air,

alive with the glow of a new connection.

- _
- The next day,

that glow began to wear off,

and she hadn't heard from him,

so Darby went to great
lengths to keep herself busy,

deciding it was time
to color-code her book collection.

Hey.

[MELLOW MUSIC]

Do you think I should do,
like, an accent wall in here?

What kind of accent?

Just... I mean, just like...

- Australian?
- Oh, my God.

That's not helpful.

You know what I'm going through.

[AUSTRALIAN ACCENT]
Darby, I'm an accent wall.

I hate you.

- _
- NARRATOR: The third day was harder.

Darby sunk into an awful apprehension.

Why hadn't Augie texted?

Was she boring?

Was her body weird?

Darby's brain started
doing mental gymnastics,

coming up with ways she
could casually run into him.

Honestly, like, at this point,
I'm kind of pissed.

You know, I'm tempted to, like,
just go to Politico and confront him.

Okay, Darby, look, I love you,

but do remember
that's my place of work, okay?

So keep that in mind.

- No, please, do it.
- Thank you.

- She thinks it's funny.
- Honestly.

I would never.

I would never! Mostly. Maybe.

- Are those dates?
- Mm-hmm.

Okay, so date farmers
are on strike in Mexico,

so technically, you guys are like scabs.

You know what, Jim?
We don't need that from you.

Jim, we don't need that from you.

- _
- On the fourth day of radio silence,

Darby buried herself in her work.

... very special tour: the butt tour!

- [WOMEN CHEERING]
- Yeah.

I'm tired. How long is this tour?

It is two full hours. Get ready.

- f*ckin' heels.
- Okay.

We're gonna start over here.

This super cute muscular bronze butt.

This Greek bronze butt is very rare

because when Romans took
over Greek dominions,

they knew how valuable the bronze was

the sculptures were made of,
so they often

melted them down to
make armor and weapons,

and we're very fortunate
that this sculpture's been preserved

so we can all enjoy its very...

emotional, expressive clenched butt.

[LAUGHING] It looks like Spencer's d*ck.

- [LAUGHTER]
- Okay, guys, please.

Don't touch the statues.

This is... this is really
against the rules.

[DRAMATIC CLASSICAL MUSIC]

NARRATOR: As Darby watched this woman

climb a statue that had
managed to survive centuries,

she couldn't help but marvel

that someone chose this person.

And not just for a day,

but for the rest of her life.

Darby couldn't even get a "Wazzup?"

_

Around her, life continued

as if somehow there was anything

more important than what
she was going through.

By this point, she'd managed

to pull her flat mates into it

as she carried on in the grand tradition

of women waiting by the phone.

[PHONE CHIMES]

- It's your dad.
- Good.

Uh, he wants to know

"who sings the song... 'Wonderwall'..."

Ugh.

I'm sorry it wasn't Augie.

It's okay.

You know, it was my dad.

At least it wasn't my gym
asking where I've been.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, my God. Why am I spinning out?

All this sucks.

Why don't you just take
the reins and text him?

- Can I do that?
- No, you can't.

Look, I know it's f*cked up,

but you have to wait
for him to hit you up.

Are you s...

I don't want to get into a
political debate about it.

It's just the world right now.

Says the girl who made Jim

read his high school
diary out loud to you

like there are zero boundaries.

- Look...
- Boundaries don't exist.

Yeah, 'cause I paid my dues.

Look, you can play
the crazy card down the road,

but right now,
you gotta, like, bear down.

No, no, no. No, no.

That sh*t's so antiquated.

Listen, why do you need
a boyfriend right now?

Honestly, look what it's doing to you.

This isn't Jane Austen times. I'm sorry.

I think I'm just stressed because, like,

I told my boss that
I was bringing a plus-one

to his wedding, and now I think

it would be super embarrassing

to just, like, not bring anyone.

I know what you're thinking,
you little to freak.

Even as a favor. I could just be like,

"Hey, as a friend, as a buddy..."

You cannot invite Augie
to that wedding, right?

Oh, my God.

I'm obsessed with him,
and it's so pathetic.

[PHONE CHIMES]

I'll just...

- [SQUEALS]
- No way!

[BOTH SQUEAL]

- [LAUGHS]
- Fine.

- I'm gonna be totally chill.
- Totally.

- I'm gonna be totally chill.
- Mm-hmm.

[CHILL MUSIC]

Haven't actually read any Jane Austen.

- What?
- I know, which was surp...

Deal-breaker. I can't do this.

- Oh, you too?
- I'm kidding.

- Okay.
- Kidding.

- 'Cause Mallory...
- Uh-huh.

Was making fun of me, 'cause I don't...

Actually, there is one of
these books that I've been looking for.

Why wouldn't we get ten romance novels?

Okay, so if I had to
tell you something...

- Yeah.
- ... unexpected about me...

Yeah. I'll give you $,.

Wh... that you wouldn't
have guessed this was...

No, I'll give you $,
to tell me something

- that really shocks me.
- I was just gonna tell you for free.

I was just gonna tell you for free.

I was actually so into musical theater

that my mom thought that I was gay.

- Oh.
- She asked me

if I had seen the movie "Milk,"

because she had rented it.

And she thought it was really important

that we watch it together.

- [LAUGHING]
- That's so sweet.

- Yeah.
- That's nice.

- Yeah.
- You know, um,

I, too, have done some musical theater.

- Get the f*ck out.
- Yeah, in high school.

- One time...
- Mm-hmm.

- In "Cats"... I know.
- You were in "Cats"?

- Yeah. [LAUGHS]
- What?

Like, there were so many kids,

and there weren't enough parts...

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- So they, like,

did that thing where they made up a cat.

Just... but just for you, though.

Yeah. It was something insane.

It was like Carbucketty or something.

- Carbucketty?
- Oh, my God. It was so embarrassing.

I... is it weird that
I'm kind of turned on

by you being an ensemble cat?

You're such a jerk.

[BOTH LAUGH]

This is stupid.

Do... [GROANS]

Do you want to go to my
boss's wedding with me?

[TENDER MUSIC]

What? You don't have to.

No, yes, I do!

I do want to go!

I do want to go.

- Yes, absolutely.
- Great.

When is it?

- I don't know.
- Okay, great.

Lin for the win!

[PEOPLE CHEERING]

This dude is unbelievable.

- I'm losing my mind.
- What a great day.

- Holy sh*t!
- Yes!

Linsanity forever!

He's on fire!

Oh, Darbs, are you into sports now?

- Is that...
- I don't know.

I'm trying to sound cool.

You do sound cool.

- Thank you.
- You're hustlin'.

- I don't know.
- I'll take it.

- Yes.
- This kid came out of f*cking nowhere.

I... tell me about it.

- sh*t.
- NARRATOR: It was January

when they met at karaoke,

and by February,

they were acting like
boyfriend and girlfriend.

Well, I'll let you in
on a little secret.

Okay. Please do.

- These are fakes.
- What?

- Don't tell anybody.
- Okay.

They ignored all the usual rules

about keeping things mysterious.

- [GRUNTS]
- [BLOWING NOSE]

[URINE TRICKLING]

You guys are nasty!

[UPBEAT PERCUSSIVE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

- Nice.
- That's gonna be the one.

- [LAUGHS]
- For sure.

I love this table.

I want ten more beers.

Does anybody else want ten more beers?

Just me?

NARRATOR: For too long,
she'd merely watched

these kinds of relationships
from the outside,

and anything she knew
about the way they felt

was purely speculative.

But now she had some
firsthand experience.

This is what it was really
like to love someone.

[TENDER MUSIC]

Lin on the penetration,
he got bottled up...

What happened to our friend?

He's just having an off night.

Hey, Aug, we're gonna roll.

- All right, man.
- I'll see you at home.

Sorry, buddy. They'll bounce back.

Yeah, thanks for coming, man.
See you, Sara.

- See you, Sara.
- Bye.

Bye, Mallory.

[INDISTINCT TV CHATTER]

I'm sorry, baby.

It's okay. Thank you.

[RELAXED MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Is this what it's like
being a Knicks fan?

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah, kind of.

♪ ♪

Hey, um...

♪ ♪

- What's up?
- Oh, uh...

[SCOFFS] Never mind. It's cool. Nothing.

- Whoa.
- It's cool. It's nothing.

Hey, come on. Don't do that.

- Oh, my God.
- No.

I just, um...

I just don't want you to freak out,

'cause this timing really
sucks, but, uh...

Okay. [SNEEZES] Sorry.

- Bless you.
- Thank you.

Uh...

I just found out that

Politico wants to send
me out on the road

as an embed in a couple of weeks,

and I'll be gone till November, so...

Oh, wow.

- Yeah.
- Ugh.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Okay.

I mean, well, if you're gonna
be gone till November...

Well, no, 'cause, you know,
if all goes well,

then after that, I'd be working
out of the D.C. bureau,

which would be like...

I'd be moving there.

Um... okay.

Is that, like, optional or...

[SCOFFS]

I mean, I guess it is, but I...

It's a pretty big opportunity

- for me, you know. Yeah.
- Right. Yeah.

- No, of course.
- Yeah.

What the f*ck am I saying?

I'm gonna be on Obama's
press bus and everything.

It's... it's my dream.

- Dude, that's amazing.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- I mean, congratulations.

- Oh, thank you.
- Holy sh*t.

Thank you very much.

[STAMMERING] And look.

If that makes you not want
to hang out with me anymore,

I totally get it, because...

this can't really go anywhere, you know?

Yeah. I mean, it can't go anywhere,

but we were just, like,

seeing if it was gonna go anywhere,

- so it's not a big deal.
- Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, right. Right, yeah.

That's... yeah, exactly.

I'm really glad we're on
the same page about that.

I mean, I know it... It sounds corny,

but I feel like it's
my civic duty, in a way.

- Do you know what I mean?
- Mm-hmm.

Like, can you imagine if
Romney was f*cking president?

The world would end.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Um...

Yeah.

But we should just,
like, keep hanging out

until you leave, right?

- Are you sure?
- I mean, do you not want to?

No, no, no, no, no,
I... I definitely do.

I... of course I do. I...

I really like you, Darby.

- A lot.
- Great.

- I just...
- Great.

Yeah, I just... Yeah.

I've been through the whole
long-distance thing before,

and I don't... I don't want
either of us to get hurt

or anything like that.

I don't think that's gonna happen.

Okay, so what... I mean,
should I just bail?

Is that what we're saying?

On your boss's wedding?

On Augie's last night? No.

Baby, you are playing the long game.

You just... you keep
your eyes on the prize.

When you talk about love,
you turn into Coach Taylor.

- Really sweet.
- Oh.

Coach and Mrs. Coach are
the model couple in my eyes, so...

Okay, look, I...

I will be your plus-one
if you want to bail on Augie.

- I will be there. I will do that.
- Mallory, no.

- I am here for you.
- Darby, you just go

with the flow, okay?
Who knows what could happen?

It could be a magical night,

and then you could be the
first ever real-life person

to chase someone to the airport.

What?

That was, like, a great buildup,

and I don't know what I'm
supposed to do with that.

I've been watching a ton
of Hugh Grant movies.

Okay.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

NARRATOR: And so Darby
trudged on with a brave face,

trying to make the best of it,

but beneath that façade
was an unavoidable fact:

he was really leaving.

This was really ending.

♪ ♪

You look really great tonight.

Thank you.

Um, so do you. You look great.

Oh, thank you.

I mean, it was between this
or my tuxedo tee.

- Mm.
- Or my "ripped abs" tee.

- Wow.
- Or my Bulbasaur tee.

- You've seen that one?
- [LAUGHS]

I've... I didn't know you
were such a novelty tee guy.

- Really big.
- Yeah.

- I go to the club.
- There's a club?

- There's a club.
- See?

Now, this is why you can't leave.

- Oh...
- 'Cause we have so much

to learn about each other.

- There's a club? I want to know more!
- Yes, I said... yeah, I know.

I just...

Let's not...
let's not think about it tonight.

Yeah.

I kind of can't not think about it.

- Yeah.
- So...

[CLEARS THROAT]

Um, should we dance?

- Oh.
- Yeah.

Okay.

Make the most of
our last night together.

Right.

Yeah.

I don't know if you're
ready for this, though.

Oh, boy.

- I don't know him.
- I have this philosophy of dance.

I need help, actually.
Does anybody have a whistle?

[SOFT MUSIC]

NARRATOR: After a few hours
of alcohol consumption,

Darby and Augie found themselves

at that point of the evening

when it's easy to say
something you'll regret.

Is it possible to, like,
overdose on frosting?

'Cause I don't know why
I'm doing this to myself.

- It's like I'm hazing myself.
- [LAUGHING]

Nobody's making me do this.

A "Post" headline:

"Tour Guide Dies from
Frosting/Open-Bar Combo."

[LAUGHING]

- Wow.
- What?

No, I'm glad to know you
think of me as a tour guide.

What?

I'm sorry my career isn't as
sexy as yours is right now.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey.

[STAMMERS] I was kidding.

- You know I'm kidding, right?
- Yeah.

Mm, truth in every joke.

[LAUGHS]

What are you doing right now?

[LAUGHS]

I'm having feelings.

I'm sorry, like...

feelings that you are
very good at not having.

I'm having feelings too.

I just don't want to process
them at your boss's wedding.

Yes, that's fine. That's fine.

- You're right. That's fine.
- [SCOFFS]

♪ ♪

Darby, I love you.

♪ ♪

You don't have to say that. You don't.

You're not... you're not gonna
say you love me back?

I do, but what...
What's the point of... what's...

Why does there have to be a point?

Okay. I love you.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- You know I do.
- Awesome!

- That's great!
- Yeah, it is great.

It's great.

I love you.

- Bye forever.
- Oh, come on. Stop.

That is not fair.

You said long-distance doesn't work.

So f*ck it. So f*ck it.

Please don't put words into my mouth.

Is that not exactly what you said?

Just because I'm leaving does not mean

that we'll never see each other again.

- W-we can Skype, right?
- Oh, great.

- We can try and make it work.
- Oh.

- Oh, my God, we can Skype.
- What are you doing?

- Seriously? Hello?
- Oh, my God.

Are you really doing this?

This is our last night together,
and you're really gonna do this?

Seriously? Come on. What is...

- What do you say? Do you want...
- Okay. All right.

Yeah, we can Skype.

We can Skype until
you find somebody new,

'cause I know how things
go on these tour buses.

What? Do you think

I'm going on the road
with the f*cking Stones?

No.

- I... I work at Politico. This is...
- I know. I know.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't
have said anything.

- Whatever.
- No, it's not...

[EXHALES]

f*cking hell.

♪ You should be glad ♪

♪ Your leading man always be glad ♪

♪ Sit by home ♪

♪ And let me kiss your lovely lips ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Didn't I do it, baby? ♪

♪ Didn't I do right? ♪

♪ Why you wanna leave me, baby? ♪

♪ I said didn't I treat you right? ♪

♪ It's a mystery... ♪

[SNIFFLING]

Can you help me?

Thanks.

Augie, I'm sorry.

I know.

It's okay. We both drank too much.

I really do love you.

I really love you too.

[SIGHS]

[SIREN BLARING]

[MELANCHOLY MUSIC]

Hey.

Told you the snow gets gross.

Yeah. Guess you were right.

Uh, by the way,

I have some information

that I think will change your life.

[LAUGHS]

Carbucketty is a real cat.

- What?
- [LAUGHS]

What do you mean?

Well, let's just say I spent some time

on the old "Cats" Wikipedia
page this morning,

and Carbucketty,

who is also sometimes
known as Pouncival,

is very much a real character...

What?

And not at all made
up for your production.

Oh, my God!

[BOTH LAUGH]

That's amazing!

I don't know why that
makes me want to cry.

- [LAUGHS]
- [GASPS]

Ooh! Carbucketty's real!

This is... This is a game-changer.

- [SNIFFS]
- I just wanted you to know.

Thanks.

Um...

I should go.

Yeah. Yeah, you should go.

Bye, Darby.

Bye, Augie.

NARRATOR: After a relationship ends,

most people feel like
they'll never meet anyone else,

but they always do.

Darby doesn't know it yet,

but her person is out there.

Maybe she's met them already,

maybe she hasn't,

but they are alive in this city,

and they are looking for her too.

♪ Each step is moving ♪

♪ It's moving me up ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Moving ♪

♪ It's moving me up ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Every step is moving me up ♪

♪ ♪

NARRATOR: It will all happen for her.

Just not the way she thinks it will.