01x12 - Out for Blood

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Rookie: Feds". Aired: September 27, 2022 - current.*
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Special Agent Simone Clark, the oldest rookie in the FBI Academy, is assigned to support the Los Angeles field office.
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01x12 - Out for Blood

Post by bunniefuu »

Oh, careful. [LAUGHS]

You was almost about
to have to buy me dinner.

There we go.

INTERVIEWER: Um, how long have
you been with the FBI?

Three whole months.

In case y'all didn't notice, I'm Black.

So all this harsh light
y'all got me under,

it's gonna be a problem.

Y'all got a diffuser or
something you can put on this?

If not, you can dial down the key light

and bring it a little closer.

'Cause it's either that
or I'm gonna have to wipe

some Vaseline [CHUCKLING] on the lens.

Wow, you really know your stuff.

I used to be a high school
guidance counselor.

So I had my share of substitute teaching
the media arts department.

How about I just help y'all out?

Uh, actually, that's not kosher
with the union...

So, you're a rookie?

Probationary agent.

But even though
I'm relatively new to it,

I've seen some crazy things.

Like the Laughlin investigation?

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

Yeah.

That one shook me.

♪♪

♪♪

Good morning.

INTERVIEWER: Good to see you again.
Thanks for doing this.

You ready to just jump right in?

Let's do it.

Tell me about the day you found
the body in the hills.

It was the morning I started
filming my reality show...

Wait. You have a reality show?

Oh, when you got a money-maker like this
and a life like mine,

it demands documentation.

I'm sh**ting the pilot episode myself.

Wow. And what's it called?

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

[SIREN WAILING]

[CELL DOOR CLANGS]

DISPATCH: -Adam- , Nichols Canyon,

report of a mudslide blocking the road.

There was a heavy rain last night.

So, like, almost an inch.

When water falls from the sky here,

the city of angels becomes
a city of demons.

But not today.

Not on "Smitty's Streets."

Holy [BLEEP]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

♪♪

The name of the victim was Dante Smith.

He was a missing persons.

Disappeared about eight months
before his body was found.

But the mystery was, I mean,
he'd only been dead

for less than hours.

We didn't know where he'd been
for all that time.

INTERVIEWER: What did
you know about him?

The poor boy came to L.A.
with a dollar and a dream,

hoping to become an actor.

But [CHUCKLES] let's just say,

he wasn't very realistic
about his talents. And I...

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey.

- What?
- That's mean.

You don't have to say that.

- What?
- You know he w...

H-he wasn't that good.

Simone, he's dead.

Listen, I am sorry that the boy is dead,

but he had no business trying to act.

- That's the bottom line.
- Mnh.

Dante Smith, reading
for the role of Bartender.

Hey, here's your rum and Coke.

You always order dad drinks? [CHUCKLES]

Uh, the Bartender instantly
regrets saying that.

Hope she didn't hear him.

[RAPPING] ♪ Yo, yo ♪

♪ Make some noise, repeat after me ♪

♪ To be or not to be, my G ♪

♪ That's the question ♪

% of men

suffer from some form
of erectile dysfunction.

He had two puncture wounds on his neck.

He d*ed from exs... He...

[STAMMERS] Um...

Oh, man, I can't say that word.

Exsanguination.

It means the victim d*ed of blood loss.

INTERVIEWER: And how did you
determine that?

Well, blood coagulates
after death, you see,

and you usually you see livor
mortis within a few hours...

It presents itself like bruising,
mostly in the lower extremities.

But in this case, there was none.

Which means whoever k*lled him
drained the body of blood.

That's right.

The m*rder*r was a vampire.

I knew I had to bring the Feds in.

They have an agent
who's an expert in the field.

Before I joined the FBI, I-I played, uh,

vampire detective Stoker Ramsey

for six years on "Vampire Cop."

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

[RADIO CHATTER]

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]

Oh, damn, Stoker.
You look deader than our victim.

Ugh. Don't remind me.

What do we got? [SIGHS]

Name's Lars Cross. He's a coder
for a tech startup...

A ride share app
that went public last week.

Looks like their IPO wasn't
the only thing making a k*lling.

I got coffins bigger than this.

What's a successful coder doing
living in a place like this?

Let's see if your blood memory
will help us find out.

[SIGHS]

♪♪

[SIGHS]

Ready?

Yeah.

♪♪

[SCREAMING]

♪♪

[GROANS]

[INHALES DEEPLY]

Stoker?

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

What did you see?

[CLEARS THROAT]
k*ller came for his phone.

Let's get a warrant
for his cell records.

BRENDON: But that doesn't
make me an "expert."

What did I tell you
about dimming your shine?

Stop it. Okay, l-let me just say this.

My boy here

- was a method actor...
- Mm-hmm.

...so he learned everything
there is to know about bloodsuckers.

Read every book, uh,
went to Transylvania...

Tell them, B.

He even got nominated
for two People's Choice Awards,

and remember when you won
that MTV Award for Best Kiss?

- [LAUGHS]
- Yeah. I-I-I do.

Uh, so, yeah, I-I know a lot
about vampiric lore.

Um... happy? Okay.

So, uh, when Officer Smitty called me,

I-I took it straight to our boss.

INTERVIEWER: Tell me about
the Special Investigative Unit?

It's a pilot program of my design.

I hand-picked this squad
in order to create

a fast-moving, problem-solving unit.

And one of the perks
is I choose my own cases,

and this one was right up our alley.

And why was that?

Well, the body was found
in a section of the canyon

that is federal land,
and that's our jurisdiction.

Plus, it was also not
your run-of-the-mill homicide,

so it needed serious outside-the-box
thinkers in order to solve it.

INTERVIEWER: Are your cellphones
off just in case?

Y... Uh, yeah. We're good.
We're good to go.

- Okay, great. Then let's go.
- Mm-hmm.

What were your first impressions
of the victim?

Uh, well, the victim had old bruises,

collapsed veins, and track marks
all over his arms...

Telltale signs of intravenous drug use.

I-I'm a profiler by training,

and I built a preliminary theory
that Dante had developed

a serious drug habit
and lived on the streets,

which, of course, would explain
his eight-month disappearance.

But we had to throw that theory
out once the report came back

from Dante's tox screen.

Yeah, he had no signs
of any dr*gs in his system.

In fact, at the time of his death,

Dante was in perfect health.

Were you able to build a profile
of who the k*ller might've been?

No.

Not at that time.

Interviewer:
You investigated Dante's death,

and your unit never gave credence

to the possibility
of a supernatural suspect?

Supernatural?

You mean like vampires
or something, right?

- Is that...
- You said you built a team

of outside-the-box thinkers.
Did you at least consider it?

[CLEARS THROAT] Okay, let's,
uh... let's play your game.

In any vampiric folklore, hmm,
when has a bloodsucker

ever kidnapped someone for eight months

and then... only then...
Drank their blood?

So that's a no, you never considered it?

No. I didn't.

Perhaps you should have.

[STAMMERS]

INTERVIEWER: Tell me, Brendon,
why didn't you disclose

that you had a conflict
of interest in the case?

A conflict of in... Interest?

Uh, no, I-I don't.

W-What are you talking about?

Brendon knew the m*rder victim.

- We have a photo.
- What?

Let me see that.

This was taken at a nightclub
about a year ago.

There's you, and there's
Dante Smith, the victim.

- Huh.
- That is him, B.

Yeah, that's weird. I-I never met him.

You sure about that?

Uh... yeah.

I mean, if he said he... he doesn't
know him, he doesn't know him.

Right, that's a picture of
a drunken me at a nightclub

and another guy.

So, you know, it's a good
old-fashioned...

- coincidence.
- Coincidence.

That was no coincidence.

Brendon Acres isn't who he claims to be.

INTERVIEWER: Then who is he?

A corpse with the blood of human victims

coursing through his body.

Have you seen "Vampire Cop"?

No way an actor
could be that convincing.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

♪♪

STOKER: This ends tonight, Albus.

If you were a smart man,
you'd get out of the way.

Too bad I'm not a smart man.

[g*nshots]

[GRUNTS]

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

♪♪

♪♪

What are you?

Justice.

[HISSES]

[SCREAMING]

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

Had to learn the hard way...

Crime sucks.

No way that's an act.
Brendon is the real thing.

Is my son a real vampire?

Well, I'll tell you one thing...

His mom was a complete horror
show who drained me financially.

INTERVIEWER: So there's nothing
that supports the accusations

that Brendon is, in fact, a vampire?

Well, since I knew you'd be asking,

I brought his baby teeth.

Look at those canines right there.

That little ragamuffin could
tear through a steak at age .

Okay, okay. What are you doing?
What are you do...

- I'm t-telling the truth.
- Okay, that's enough.

That's enough. Please. Thank you.

- That's a wrap. That's a wrap.
- Okay. Okay.

- Let's go.
- What are you doing?

Okay, I'm... I'm... I'm leaning
into the controversy.

You can't just make that stuff up.

People are gonna believe it.
People are gonna believe it.

- Let's go.
- Well, listen,

- it's great TV, man.
- Let's...

It'll put you back in the zeitgeist.

I don't want to be in the zeitgeist.

I don't want to be in the zeitgeist.

- Yeah, okay.
- And where did you get those

- teeth?
- Uh, I know a guy.

- What?
- You want some?

- Ew.
- INTERVIEWER: How do you respond

to allegations that
Brendon Acres is a vampire?

[CHUCKLES]

Um, well, as Brendon's training agent,

and as a rational human being,
I can confirm he's not a vampire.

My ex-wife grew up in New Orleans,
and I worked there for years,

so I've heard all of the vampire lore,
and these are just stories.

Zero evidence it's even possible.

Hmm.

Hmm? Did you say, "Hmm"?

Yeah. Just interesting hearing
such skepticism,

from someone who believes in, um...

- Bigfoot.
- Well, that's different.

Bigfoot's real.

Unh-unh.

Whatever you do,
don't get Carter started

talking about Skookum.

Well, the thing about Bigfoot is...

You know, I really think that
we should just stay on topic.

You know, about the m*rder.

Okay, but... let's pick this up later?

Uh, yeah.

Okay, anyway, statistically speaking,

murderers usually bury and dump bodies

in places they know, live, or frequent.

So we began the investigation
where Dante's body was found.

And after canvassing
the neighborhood, we, uh,

spoke to several residents
who all pointed to one man.

Anders Huxley.

Uh, he had an extensive rap sheet...

as*ault, battery, public intoxication.

Word was Mr. Huxley
only went out at night...

Which is an opportune time
to bury a body.

So we paid him a visit.

Though, in retrospect,
we probably should have waited

- until daylight.
- Mm, yes.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

♪♪

BRENDON: Wait, wait, wait.

Is that blood?

CARTER: Yeah, that's blood.

LAURA: Door's ajar.

Does the blood give us PC to go inside?

Someone may be in imminent
danger, so, yeah, it does.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

FBI! Anyone in there?

♪♪

Mr. Huxley? Anyone here?

SIMONE: Carter. More blood.

BRENDON: Let's go up.

♪♪

We good?

♪♪

BRENDON: Is he breathing?

CARTER: Is he dead?

SIMONE: I don't know.

Mr. Huxley?

- [SCREAMS]
- Oh, my God!

CARTER: FBI!

BRENDON: Oh, my God

CARTER: FBI!
Hands where we can see them!

I mean, none of us
really believed Anders

was actually a vampire.

CARTER: Pale skin, sharp teeth,
red eyes...

He did have some attributes
that might lead one to assume

he was a creature of the night.

Am I being SWAT-ed?

I've read about this.

People make a fake call as a prank

to get the cops to raid a house.

BRENDON: It's not a prank.

Why are you here?

We just wanted to ask a few
questions about a m*rder victim

we found near here.

Let me guess.

All the neighbors said it was me.

Just because I'm different, it
doesn't mean that I'm a k*ller.

I have porphyria.

It's been called "vampire's disease."

It's like a blood disorder
that affects the skin.

But you know more about it.
T-Tell him, B.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, porphyria...

People with this condition have
a severe aversion to sunlight.

Also, it can lead to gum recession,

so the... The teeth show more.

They look like... You know, like fangs.

And then tell him about Count Dracula.

Yeah, the Romanian Prince
Vlad the Impaler,

a.k.a. Vlad Dracula, Count Dracula...

He... he apparently had porphyria.

Left untreated, it... it... it causes,

uh, massive, uh, paranoia,
hallucinations.

Vlad apparently thought everyone
was, like, after him.

So he would just... k*ll them first.

INTERVIEWER: And is that
why you thought Anders Huxley

k*lled Dante Smith?

ANDERS: I didn't k*ll anyone.

And an unfounded allegation
does not give you the right

to charge into my home.

Well, we saw a trail of blood.
That's why we came in.

What happened to your hand?

I caught it in an Uber door
this morning.

Blood everywhere.

So, why didn't you clean up the blood?

I was just so damn jet-lagged.

Turns out, Huxley had an alibi.

Where were you last night?

On a plane,
flying back from a work trip.

My condition means I try
to avoid being awake

when the sun is up.

You wouldn't believe what our
alleged vampire did for a living.

I'm a children's book author
and illustrator.

Wait. You're the author of
"Alistair the Aye Aye"?

Yes, and I used to read
his books to my son, Isaiah,

when he was a kid.

Alistair was always teased
because he was different

from all the other animals.

But then he'd teach them
that differences

were what made each of them special.

Anders turned his own experience
of being ostracized

for his condition into
a hit children's book series.

So we apologized to Mr. Huxley
for the intrusion.

And he was really kind and
forgiving about the whole mix-up,

just like Alistair the Aye Aye is.

He loves that book.

Uh, he even gave us signed copies.

Yeah, that was nice.

[CHUCKLES]

INTERVIEWER: Are federal
employees allowed to receive gifts?

INTERVIEWER: So, Mr. Huxley wasn't

a vampire or the k*ller after all.

That is correct, which is why
we could officially put

this ridiculous vampire theory to rest,

once the Medical Examiner
finished her report.

Is that when you realized you might
have a serial k*ller on your hands?

Well, a body
completely drained of blood,

buried in the hills
above Nichols Canyon...

It... It did.

It had commonality with the M.O.
of the Canyon k*ller.

Great. I mean, not great

it was a serial k*ller involved,
but great that you had a lead.

Oh, no, no, no. There's just...
There's a problem here.

You see, the Canyon k*ller

couldn't have done it
because he's in prison.

Put there by one of your own agents.

- Isn't that right?
- Yeah. That's right.

I caught the Canyon k*ller.

We caught the Canyon k*ller.

- Ah, yes.
- INTERVIEWER: And you are?

Special Agent Mark Atlas. FBI.
Behavioral Science Unit.

We led the investigation together.

Which was built on my profile.

She gave some of the clues.

Okay, you gave the important ones.

And what were the clues?

Well, the Canyon k*ller's
first victims were found

in the Hollywood Hills
in the summer of .

Uh, all victims had evidence
of being bound by the wrists,

and they were drained of blood
before they were buried.

So while Agent Atlas was focused
on the k*ller's M.O.,

I gathered details on the
victims and retraced their steps

before their time of death.

You both seem very pleased
with yourselves.

Do... Do... Do your colleagues
find that annoying?

Uh, I can be very passionate
about what I do.

That's a way to put it.

I take a lot of pride in profiling.

- Hmm.
- Um, and some people may feel

like that steps on their toes,
but that's not my problem.

She's a little annoying.

The Canyon k*ller
made national headlines.

I followed the story in D.C.

I was calling my dad every night
to check in,

because Los Angeles was...

- It was on edge.
- Mm-hmm.

I mean, you were here at that time, B.

- Were you scared?
- Oh, my God, yeah.

Me... Me and my friends,
we stopped clubbing for weeks.

I mean, we fit
the victim's profile perfectly.

You know, like, young, super hot guys
with, uh, h-hairless...

That sounded pretentious. Can, uh...

- Who cares?
- No, it's...

Tell your truth.
If you're cute, you're cute.

- Can you just...
- If you're hot, you're hot,

- and if you're not, you're not.
- Right.

- So, we're gonna cut that?
- INTERVIEWER: Oh, yeah.

- INTERVIEWER: Sure, no problem.
- Leave it in.

INTERVIEWER: I really
like that target on your wall.

Did you actually fire the
b*ll*ts that went through that,

or did you just s*ab it
with a pen and hang it up?

I, uh...

I won it in a raffle. [CLEARS THROAT]

So, um, did you work
the Canyon k*ller investigation?

I consulted with Laura and Mark Atlas

on the Canyon k*ller task force.

It's where I first saw Laura
in action on a case,

and she was brilliant.

No stone left unturned.

Which is why I eventually
asked her to join my squad.

It was a complex profile.

You made it look easy.

Oh. You delivered great evidence.

Thank you.

[CHUCKLES] At first, the Canyon k*ller

was meticulous, but then,
after the sixth body,

got sloppy.

- They all do.
- They all do.

- [CHUCKLES]
- [CHUCKLES]

- Sorry, you go...
- You want to go?

No, you go.

- Well, you should start.
- Okay.

Um, where should we start?
The... The victimology?

- The victimology, yes. So...
- Then you got to go.

- Alright, well, we, um...
- That's you.

[CLEARS THROAT] We realized
that he was gregarious,

and probably attractive himself.

It's why he felt he could approach
his victims with such ease.

He ran in the same circle as they did.

And we figured he worked

- in the service industry...
- Mm-hmm.

...like many of his victims...
All aspiring actors or models.

And then on top of that,
all of his victims lived

or worked near the Franklin corridor.

See? Just there.

And then on the seventh m*rder...

- Ohh.
- ...we caught a break.

Forensics discovered primo trace
evidence at that crime scene.

- Mm-hmm.
- Purple wig hair.

Yes, but not just any purple wig.

This was a custom job
with real human hair

that had been professionally dyed.

It was a signature headpiece.

- That's what I thought.
- Hollywood bull's-eye, baby.

- Bam.
- INTERVIEWER: Is that a term?

Is that a thing, a real thing,
or are you just making that up?

Well, you know what I'm saying.
It's like a...

- Like "nailed it."
- Yeah, nailed it.

- That's what I'm trying to say.
- [MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]

Now, we've pulled over here
because you do not want to miss


what is on your right.

Across the street from
the famed Bronson Gate


is the apartment building
where Bela Lugosi,


the world's most famous Dracula,

d*ed of a heart att*ck in .

Now, Lugosi was found in his
bed, naked, clutching a script


to "The Final Curtain," a, uh,
movie he was set to star in


for schlock film maestro Ed Wood.

Gulliver Farris? We need to talk.

[ CROWD MURMURING]

Hands behind your back.

Okay. FBI. Put the phones down, please.

Thank you. We'll get you
on the road soon enough.


- Mm.
- That was a good day.

Yeah, it was probably one of our best.

Mm.

We gave the victims' families closure,

let the people of Los Angeles
rest their fears,

and put a monster behind bars.

I'm an innocent man.

Interviewer:
Of this current m*rder, perhaps.

But it's interesting how
Dante Smith d*ed

in the exact same way
as you k*lled your victims.

Do you think you have a copycat?

No. Because I've never k*lled anyone.

Ever.

What exactly are you saying?

That I'm not the Canyon k*ller.

I've only been saying that
since my arrest.

Special Agent Laura Stensen framed me.

I'm at the center of the biggest
FBI cover-up since Bigfoot.

And... And how's this for
your little, uh, TV program...

I have proof.

That's ridiculous.

Yes, of course he says he's innocent.

- They all do.
- They all do.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

I-I did not frame Mr. Farris.

INTERVIEWER: So you've said,

but I've seen the evidence,
and it's quite damning.

Which means the real k*ller
could still be out there.

And if he is, then the blood
of this newest victim...

Well, that's on your hands.

Are you suggesting that
Special Agents Stensen and Atlas

framed a serial k*ller?

INTERVIEWER: I'm just looking
for the truth.

No. No, you're not.

You're fishing
for provocative sound bites

that you can edit out of context. Hmm?

Anything to make this little
documentary of yours, uh,

I don't know, a bit more salacious.

This isn't some news mag
with gotcha questions.

I'm an award-winning documentarian.

Film is my medium. I deal in truth.

Yeah, right.

Look, I don't appreciate
what you're insinuating.

Especially when we have the proof.

No, you don't. We do.

Overwhelming evidence
that proves that Mr. Farris

was the one and only Canyon k*ller.

And how dare you, huh?

How dare you disparage
Laura Stensen's good name.

She is one the finest FBI agents
to ever carry the badge.

GULLIVER: She's a train wreck.

My lawyer found evidence
that she was, uh, mentally unstable

around the time she arrested me.

Wait, you've been screwing
my best friend behind my back


for months, and somehow that's my fault?

[SCOFFS] No, I never want
to see your face again.

Do you hear me? Never!

You're such a [BLEEP]

Get your stuff out of my condo
right now!


- Do you hear me...
- Laur...


...you piece of [BLEEP]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Maybe just relax a second, okay?

I can't relax! Ohh!

[CLATTERING]

What, Kristal?!

Do you really trust this woman
to catch a serial m*rder*r

when she couldn't even tell her
own fiancé was stepping out on her?

Agent Stensen was... was too
busy spiraling to solve the case.

I'm the real victim here.

Okay, yes, fine.

At the time of Mr. Farris' arrest,
my personal life was... challenged,

but that in no way affected
my performance at work.

Not at all.

Of course it did.

She got fired from the BSU
right after her meltdown.

But to keep her from losing
her job, they conspired

and, uh, falsified evidence against me.

INTERVIEWER: Wait, who are
you saying conspired with her?

Special Agent Mark Atlas.

That's a wild accusation.
Why would Agent Atlas do that?

If it looks like a duck
and it quacks like a duck...

Those two FBI agents are having sex.

INTERVIEWER: Agent Atlas, did
you conspire with Agent Stensen

because of a secret
romantic relationship?

Nothing could be further from the truth.

So you didn't cover for Agent Stensen?

No. Of course not.

And are you having a secret romance?

Okay, e-enough
with this tabloid BS. I...

Excuse me?

All of these questions
about our personal life...

- It's utterly shameful.
- Hmm.

So, you're denying your affair?

Can we just stop the cameras
from rolling right now?

I just need a minute.

- You okay?
- Yeah, fine.

Can you just come with me, please?

- Uh... I'm gonna...
- We can take a break.

Yeah. Thank you.

Just... Yeah.

Keep rolling.

_

_

_

_

- But we are having sex.
- [SIGHS]

We could be having more sex.

_

_

_

_

Just tell them that then.

_

_

Okay. Well...

_

- I do.
- What?

I do have my Mic on.

♪♪

Uh-oh.

Excuse me, what?

My Atlas and... And, uh, Laura.

I definitely didn't know that, no.

Why didn't he tell me?

Wait, did you know?

- Yeah.
- What?

I mean, I knew, yes.

A-And I am % on Team Laura.

I mean, she finally getting some.

When you say romantically,
you mean like...

[LAUGHS]

Somebody is jealous. [GIGGLES]

Huh.

And then the case of
the Mudslide Marauder took a...

INTERVIEWER: Wait a second.
Mudslide Marauder?

No one calls it that.

On "Smitty's Streets" they do.

Your claims of patsies
and copycat K*llers...

You know, it may help boost ratings,

but it's irresponsible to
cast aspersions on my people

and the FBI.

Dante Smith's m*rder*r
wasn't the Canyon k*ller,

and you know that.

So stop creating a narrative
that never existed.

It's lazy storytelling,
and you're better than that.

INTERVIEWER: Fine. You were saying?

The case of the
Mudslide Marauder took a turn.

_

_

_

_

_

So, the M.E. came in to work
that morning

to do the autopsy on Dante Smith's body.

- And, uh...
- It was gone.

Body gone.

And last I checked, dead bodies
do not move themselves.

The undead do.

INTERVIEWER: Officer Smitty,
what are you saying?

What everybody's thinking...
Dante, the victim,

took a turn...

Became a vampire and escaped.

Seriously? You're still on
the vampire thing?

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

That's not at all what happened.

Earlier that morning, someone broke
into the morgue and stole his body.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

I suppose I could speculate
as to why someone would steal

a dead body from a morgue
before it had even been

autopsied and processed
for forensic evidence, but...

But the odds were, whoever
took him out... took him out.

So your suspect got
away with Dante's body...

How did he pull that off?

Our subject was able to walk out
of the medical examiner's office

with Dante's body by
impersonating a morgue attendant.

He was smart enough to cover his face

from all the surveillance cameras,

but not smart enough to cover
the license plate on his car.

Which was registered to our
body snatcher... Jake Alpert.

So my team went to go pay him a visit.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

♪♪

CARTER: Jake Alpert, show us your hands.

Hey!

Cut him off at the back.

♪♪

Jake!

♪♪

♪♪

LAURA: Where's Dante's body?

I have no idea what
you're talking about.

[SIGHS]

Carter, check the freezer.

♪♪

INTERVIEWER: So who is Jake Alpert?

Jake moved to L.A.
From Montana five years ago.

Spent a year trying to make it
until a modeling scout

saw him working in a Jamba Juice
and plucked him from obscurity.

After that, he was on a hot streak.

Emphasis on the hot.

Are you seriously trying to
deflect from your relationship

- with Atlas like that?
- What? No.

Who told you we were in a relationship?

Uh, really?

Jake was a, you know, model on the rise.

Worked with all the big fashion houses.

At the height of his career,

- he even dated Layla Laughlin.
- Yeah.

INTERVIEWER: The cosmetics maven?

Founder of Untold Cosmetics

and the inventor of
De León Miracle Cream.

The woman's an icon.

[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]

♪♪

♪♪

De León Miracle Cream.

Ageless.

Timeless.

Beautiful.

By me, Layla Laughlin.

♪♪

Layla was a single mother,
working as a waitress

when she had a dream to start
her own beauty company.

I mean, she used to mix all
her products in her own kitchen,

and then sold them to local moms
out of the back of her minivan.

INTERVIEWER: You admire her.

What's not to admire?
I mean, she took a risk.

She bet on herself,
built a Fortune company,

- all while raising her son?
- Hmm.

Plus, have you seen her?

The girl had looks, poise,

and always had
- a young, hot boy on her side.

[LAUGHS]

She was living her best life for sure.

And that life included...

Jake, until...

- Until it didn't.
- Didn't. Right.

Jake was riding high,
until the harsh realities

of the business brought
his dreams crashing down.

He hit , and his modeling
contracts dried up.

And Layla left him... For Dante.

That's right.

Dante was dating Layla Laughlin
at the time of his disappearance.

Hey, uh, you're not gonna wait
until like minutes

into this thing to tell the
audience this part, are you?

I hate when docs do that...

Hold back information that the
investigators knew on day one.

Ugh. The worst.

Don't screw with the audience.

- I would never.
- Cool.

_

_

_

_

_

_

I was never at the morgue.

Mm, but we saw you
in the security footage.

I have an evil twin.

Swear to God, we barely even talk.

We have surveillance footage
of your vehicle.

- That's not even my car.
- It's registered to you.

- Someone stole it.
- We found the body

- in your freezer.
- I have an evil twin.

You tried that one already.

[SIGHS] Oh, damnit.

Those improv classes were
a total waste of money.

INTERVIEWER: Why were you so
confident about Jake Alpert?

Well, Jake Alpert had clear
motive to k*ll Dante Smith.

Jealousy because he was now
dating Layla Laughlin, who dumped him.

Yeah. And stealing the body
shows consciousness of guilt.

But for a slam dunk, we needed
to tie him to the m*rder

with physical evidence.

And we were most definitely able
to do that.

So, once we processed him,
we found traces of Dante's DNA.

Isn't that to be expected
since he moved the body?

Oh, DNA, yes.

But he actually had
Dante's blood on him.

But Dante had been
completely drained of blood

before he was buried.

Exactly. So, here's the thing...

We didn't just find Dante's
blood under his fingernails,

which is where most murderers
get caught.

We found traces of his blood
all over his hands and his arms

and his face and his chest.

What, did he bathe in it?

[CHUCKLING] No.

It's even weirder, actually.

Dante's blood had been infused
in his anti-aging cosmetic cream.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

CARTER: Jake!

♪♪

Layla Laughlin's number-one-selling

anti-aging cosmetic cream, De León,

was made of human blood...
Our victim's blood.

I mean, I admire the woman
and all, but damn.

That's just...

- Gross.
- ...nasty.

In all your years at the Bureau
Have you ever seen anything like this?

Well, let me think. I don't know.

Uh, have I ever worked a case
where someone completely drained

the victim of their blood,
only to use it as an ingredient

in an anti-aging cosmetic cream?

What do you think?

Well, Elizabeth Bathory...
She was the first

female serial k*ller in history.

The phrase "bathed in blood"

- originated with her...
- Mm.

...because, supposedly,
she would drain her victims

and then washed herself in their blood.

- Wow.
- Now, Elizabeth Bathory...

she had nothing on Layla Laughlin.

And Layla got rich while doing it.

De León Miracle Cream grossed
over $ million last year alone.

It's the signature product
in Untold Cosmetics.

INTERVIEWER: Did you have
any theories at the time

as to why Layla targeted
her own boyfriend?

Uh, yes. It's because Dante
had an exceptionally rare

blood type... Rhnull.

And what's that?

Rhnull is known as, uh, "Golden Blood."

You know, it's the rarest blood type.

Only people
on the entire planet have it.

Well, make it now.

Right. Yeah. So...

Anyway, most people have eight
common blood types...

You know, O positive, O negative,

A positive, et cetera.

But what most people don't know
is that there's actually,

you know, millions of blood types,

determined by the presence
or absence of certain antigens.

But there's also a protein
called the Rh factor,

which determines if your blood
is... is positive

or... or negative.

Most people have some Rh factor.

But if you lack it entirely,
you're Rhnull.

You're [SNAPS FINGERS] golden.

Damn. [CHUCKLES]
How did you know all that?

"Vampire Cop," Season .

Our Big Bad was... Was Golden Boy,

the vamp who only fed on Rhnull blood.

He became invincible, k*lled my
character in the cliffhanger.

I-I regenerated and came back
the next season, but...

You said you watched every episode.

That was a whole...
That was a whole story line.

Yep. I-I did.

And you... [CHUCKLES]

You were so good on that show.

W-Wasn't he goo...
Have you ever seen it?

So, we brought Ms. Laughlin in
for questioning.

We found that your De León Miracle Cream

was infused with Dante's blood.

[LAUGHING] T-That's insane.

We agree.

But Dante was never really missing.

You held him c*ptive for eight months,

all for his rare blood.

What happened? Went too far one day?
Took too much blood?

Did Dante go into shock
or just die of blood loss?

And then you buried him
in a shallow grave,

thinking nobody would ever find him.

But what you didn't count on
was the mudslide

that caused Dante's body to resurface.

[STAMMERS, SIGHS]

You think that I k*lled Dante
for his blood?

We tracked a $ , payment

from your company to Jake Alpert.

Sounds to us that you hired him
to steal the body back

so the evidence against you
would never be discovered.

I had nothing to do with Dante's
m*rder or... or any of this.

Ms. Laughlin, I really looked up to you.

Single mom like myself,
getting her second act at life.

You taught me the key to success
was helping others.

What happened to that woman?

You're staring her in the face
right now,

and she is hoping that you're
good enough at your job

to find Dante's real k*ller.

Now, that's it for me.
I want my lawyer. Now.

We obtained a search warrant
and raided the lab

at Layla's company, looking for
proof of Dante's demise.

However, it was squeaky-clean.

Layla's smart. Doing any sort
of experimental blood work

in her place of business
would raise too many red flags

and create potential witnesses.

So we got a warrant for her residence.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

♪♪

Ma'am, we have a warrant
to search the premises.

Is Ms. Laughlin here?

They're fighting.

SIMONE: Who is?

Ms. Laughlin and Chance.

INTERVIEWER: Who was Chance?

- Chance was Layla's son.
- BRENDON: The boy genius.

SIMONE: More of a con man if you ask me.

Talked his mother into giving up control

of her own company so he could run it.

[CLATTERING]

Let us in.

[g*nsh*t]

So Layla's son was the one

putting Dante's blood
in the cosmetic cream?

- Yeah.
- That's right.

And after Carter and I interviewed her,
Layla figured it out.

But instead of telling us that her son

was the real-life vampire,
stealing that poor boy's blood,

she confronted him on her own.

[WHISPERS] Which was a bad idea.

Yes, it was.
And by the time we got there,

it was already too late.

[g*nsh*t]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

SIMONE: Stay right there.

♪♪

FBI, drop it!

Do it, now!

Mom...?

Chance!

Put the g*n down now.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

I-I didn't mean
for any of this to happen.

I just...

She's gonna be okay, right?

[HANDCUFFS CLICKING]

Right?

♪♪

Shock waves rippled around the world

as cosmetics mogul
Layla Laughlin was sh*t


and k*lled in her Bel Air home
earlier today.


The alleged sh**t, her son,
Chance Laughlin,


was arrested by FBI agents at the scene.

In related news, Laughlin's
new "miracle" cream, De Léon,


is being recalled
after it was determined


that the secret ingredient that
promised the "fountain of youth"


was, in fact, human blood.

INTERVIEWER: Where did this
blood-infused cream idea come from?

After we arrested Chance,
we learned that once he took

the reins from his mother,
he became the company's

head scientist in charge
of research and development.

And in an effort to boost sales,
he created the De Léon cream

using Dante's golden blood.

And at that point, well,
Layla was just a figurehead.

She had no knowledge
of her son's misdeeds.

Chance had sunk, you know,
millions into R&D,

trying to isolate
the anti-aging antigens from...

From normal human blood.

And then when Dante walked into his life

with his golden blood...

- [SIGHS]
- Like a gift from above.

Who was banging his mom.

So, you had no ill will towards Dante?

No, no, not when I found out
he has Golden Blood.

He was one of six people
with Rhnull blood

in the whole country.

Hospitals all around the world
would call on him to donate.

Chance knew Dante
would never agree to donate

for cosmetics, so...

He abducted him and held him prisoner.

Chance fed him nourishing food
and kept him well-rested.

In order to keep Dante and, most
importantly, his blood healthy.

INTERVIEWER: But Dante's blood
was basically a renewable resource.

Why k*ll him?

I'd have kept him locked away
indefinitely.

Would you now?

- INTERVIEWER: Let's move on.
- Mm-hmm.

So what went wrong?
Why did Chance k*ll him?

It was an accident.

The demand for the De Léon cream
skyrocketed.

And one day Chance took too much blood,

and Dante had a heart att*ck and d*ed.

So you drained him of every last drop.

I even had to punch holes
in his neck to suck out

that precious blood from his carotid.

That was annoying.

Yeah. I bet it was, then you buried him

in a shallow grave like an animal.

I know. I know, my bad, okay?

But do you know how hard it is
to dig a six-foot grave

in the rain?

I just don't have that kind
of upper-body strength.

The guy was an unrepentant megalomaniac.

And it made me realize
that if Dante d*ed,

Chance would need a new victim
with the golden blood

to keep making product.

So we searched his house.

LAURA: FBI!

[GROANS]

Help me.

Okay. You're gonna be okay.

[AGENTS SHOUTING
INDISTINCTLY IN DISTANCE]

I need a medic in here, now.

Mr. Laughlin contacted Kumiko

through an Rhnull support group website.

Helping folks with "golden blood"
navigate the medical system.

Chance lured her to Los Angeles
last week with the promise

of a high-paying job,
then kidnapped her.

Yeah. She was lucky.

Though the trauma of her
abduction and t*rture

will live with her forever.

INTERVIEWER: You seem
proud of your team.

I am.

I am.

We solved a homicide.

We saved a life.

And ended a global cosmetic conspiracy.

I mean, it doesn't get
any better than that, right?

♪♪

You know what?
I think this interview is over.

But I still have a few more questions.

No, I know, but I don't care.

I got work to do.

Can I reschedule with your...
Okay. Thanks.

Oh.

ATLAS: Okay. Yeah, I think I...

- See? There you go.
- Yeah. I remember. Mm.

You have a plane to catch.

I do, but I'm not ready to leave yet.

- Okay.
- You know the only reason

I came here to do this dumb documentary

was so I could spend more time with you.

- You know that, right?
- Well, it's just sex.

We don't need an excuse.
We can do it any time.

What if I want more than that?

[CHUCKLES]

Huh?

Oh. My. God.

What?

Your Mic is still on?

- [SIGHS]
- Ugh.

Get a life.

Douchebags.

- Okay. I'm sor... I didn't...
- Stupid.

I don't know how I didn't see it.

I hate this documentary.

INTERVIEWER: Given you
were a fan of Layla's,

how do you feel about the news
that her company had gone bankrupt?

I admire how Layla refused
to let people count her out,

I mean, just because she was
a woman of a "certain age".

Uh-huh. But what about her company?

Her company?
I'll put it to you like this.

After working this case, I
realized all she was really doing

was making folks feel bad
about growing old.

Mm-hmm.

So you're not using any more
of her products?

Hell no. Who knows
what other bodily fluids

that crazy son of hers
might've put in it.

- Yeah.
- I mean, who the hell wants

Layla Laughlin products now?

[LAUGHS] Not me.

- Not me, either.
- [LAUGHS]

♪♪

I bought out every store I could
before the recall.

That's just being smart.

I don't care what's in it.
This stuff works.
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