02x09 - Miss Softbroom

[bunniefuu]

I hate early mornings.

Technically speaking, it isn't morning yet.

The sun rises in one minute precisely.

Point is, why are we awake before the sun? Because I am in charge of the school today, Beatrice Bunch.

That's why.

But, Miss Hardbroom, where's Miss Cackle? Lessons will commence one hour earlier than usual.

Everyone dressed and then outside for a 20

- minute run before breakfast.

What's the point of a witch running when we've got broomsticks to get around? A fit witch makes a better witch, Ethel.

Almost there girls.

Breakfast is waiting.

Miss Drill, do you know why Miss Cackle's not here? I know as much as you, Mildred.

Smoked fish.

Brain food, apparently.

Miss Hardbroom has asked me to supervise this lot.

Emergency staff meeting for you in five minutes.

Oh, really? Well, in that case What's the emergency? Has it got something to do with Miss Cackle not being here? I don't know.



- I'll go and find out.



- Go.

I know it is unusually early for a staff meeting, but I have a serious matter to discuss with you this morning.

It concerns Miss Cackle.

The Great Wizard has summoned her to appear before the Magic Council today.

Aperi portum.



- A disciplinary hearing?

- Yes.

That's awful.

Poor Miss Cackle.

Uh, what does that mean, exactly? It means that Miss Cackle's position at the school is in jeopardy.

After today, she may no longer be our headmistress.

No.

There's more, I'm afraid.

Alongside this inquiry into Miss Cackle, the council, in their wisdom Mildred Hubble.

Hello, Miss Hardbroom.

I was just about to knock.

I literally just got here.

This second.

Right now.

What do you want? Smoked fish for breakfast.

Every day.

We love it.

Ask Miss Tapioca, not me.

Go.

Go.

Alongside the investigation into Miss Cackle, the council wish to take a look at the school.

What for? To see if it is safe and fit for purpose.



- They are sending an inspector.



- When's that? Three hours, five minutes' time precisely.

Therefore, in Miss Cackle's absence, it is imperative that when Miss Doomstone arrives

- I thought she'd retired.



- Miss Doomstone? You know her? We used to call her "Doomstone the Destroyer.

" The terminator of schools.

All the more reason to make sure that the school be presented in the best possible light.

This is no ordinary inspection.

The fate of Miss Cackle and the entire school depends upon it.

For this reason, I do not wish the girls to be informed.

Why is that? Because nerves and magic do not mix.

Maud, Enid.



- Miss Cackle's in trouble.



- No! What kind of trouble? "She could lose her job" kind of trouble.

She needs our support.

Are you coming?

- Where to?

- Magic Council.

We can't.

We've got HB for Potions first thing.

I'm not used to getting up this early, Miss Hardbroom.

Miss Bat will be covering my Potions class this morning.

Do not, however, use this as an excuse to mess around.

Do not take any nonsense from the girls, Miss Bat.

Miss Bat? It is important to keep awake, Miss Bat, today of all days.

Right.

This is our chance.

Hey! Miss Bat? Miss Bat! Come on, we need to hurry! Rise.

Rise.

Rise.

Rise.

Rise.

Speak firmly to it, Sybil.

Rise.

I don't think I need to remind you, Miss Drill, that our visitor will be assessing the girls on their Broomstick Attainment Tests.

I can assure you they are all up to speed on their BATS, Miss Hardbroom.

Rise.

For everyone's sake, I hope so.

Stop daydreaming, Beatrice Bunch! You look as if you're catching flies! Come on, Sybil.

Rise.

What is going on in here?

- Where is Miss Bat?

- We don't know, Miss Hardbroom.

Unbelievable.

Open your books.

Page 25.

I want you to make a simple colour changing potion.

Miss Drill, a word.

Get on with your potions.

Find Ethel Hallow and send her to me.

We need our star pupil on show the moment Miss Doomstone arrives.

I'm on it.



- Something's going on.



- I know.

HB seems really jumpy today.

For goodness' sake, Sybil Hallow! What are you doing? I put foxbane in instead of nightshade.

Your brilliant sister loses all her powers and you haven't the faintest idea what to do with yours.

You are a disgrace to the name of Hallow.

I'm sorry.

It was an accident.

Excuse me, Miss Hardbroom.

I really don't think that's fair.

Did I ask you to speak, Beatrice Bunch? No, Miss Hardbroom.

Then don't.

Start again! HB is a total monster.

Never mind a colour changing potion, we need a personality changing one.

Something like this, you mean? "Personality Changing Potion.

For reversing personality traits.

Makes the timid person brave, the sad person happy, and the hard

-hearted as soft as marshmallow.

" Oh, yes! Somebody's coming! Aperi portum.

Go on.

Aperi portum.

Let's go this way.

It is with a heavy heart that I have called you all here today to this disciplinary hearing of Miss Cackle.

Now, I'm sorry it's come to this, but let us begin.

I believe there was a fire in a girl's bedroom, and a whole wing of the school fell down at the beginning of term.

And then, of course, there's the whole matter of one of the students losing her powers whilst under Miss Cackle's pastoral care.

Mrs.

Hallow, I believe you have something to say about your daughter's condition.

I do indeed.

What a traitor.

Okay, this is where Miss Hardbroom becomes Miss Softbroom.

Beatrice, this is a bad idea.

Don't do it.

Miss Hardbroom, my colour changing potion's ready.

Nothing appears to be happening.

Yes, Beatrice, nothing's happening.

Tell you what, Miss Hardbroom.

Why don't we forget about Potions class for today and do something fun instead? What did you say? I said, um Fun? Yes! Lessons should be fun.

Why not? Ooh!

- Miss Hardbroom?

- Yes? Miss Drill said you wanted to see me.

Did she? Is it to do with Mildred, Maud, and Enid? They've disappeared.

Did they make an invisibility potion? No.

They've left the school premises.

Mm, for good? That's three less to teach, then.



- Did you lot make a laughter potion?

- Kind of.

Maybe we'll go and talk to Miss Drill again.

Perhaps she'll remember.

What happened to Esmerelda is a tragedy, and I lay the blame entirely at Miss Cackle's feet.

When we send our children to school, we expect them to be safe.

But it was Agatha who did it, not Miss Cackle.

Indeed, and that is why I've arranged a school inspection visit for today.

An inspection? Perhaps you had already left before Miss Doomstone called.

You are sending Doomstone the Destroyer to inspect my school? Miss Cackle, remember where you are.

Five little speckled frogs Sat on a speckled log Eating some most delicious bugs Yum, yum! We're going to be in so much trouble when HB finds out.

Relax, Sybil.

This is fun.



- Define "fun".



- speckled frogs

- Miss Hardbroom!

- Yum!

- Can class be dismissed early for once?

- Yes.

Why not? Good idea.

She didn't seem interested, did she, Felicity?

- No.



- Quietly, girls.

She seemed very distracted.

Ugh! Aren't we all with this inspection looming.

What inspection? Well, that's what she wanted to see you about, Ethel.

She wants you to help show the inspector around.



- Ah, Miss Hardbroom.



- Ah! Miss Drill.

I don't want to hear any talk about work today.

The girls are right.

We all need to take time to smell the roses.

What roses? She never asked me to get any roses.

Something's happened to Miss Hardbroom.

Oh, my giddy bats.

And I know who's to blame.

What have you three done to Miss Hardbroom? Why do you think we've done anything? Tell me now.

The future of the entire school depends on it.

The inspector's arrived early.



- She's in the entrance hall.



- No! Shall I stall her, Miss Drill? Yes, get her out of the building, Ethel.

What is it? What's wrong? Alright, you three, spill.

Ah.

Um, uh Ooh, oh! How wonderfully exuberant! Girls, can anyone tell me where I might find Miss Hardbroom? Well met, Miss Doomstone.

I'm Ethel Hallow.



- Would you like to follow me?

- Finally.

And I am disappointed at Mrs.

Hallow's negativity.

I cannot help but question her motives.

The fact that she has sent all three of her daughters to my school shows a degree of trust in Cackle's Academy.

You have lost any trust that you had, Miss Cackle.

And not just with me, but with the majority of the parents.

I have a petition here, signed by 80 percent of the parents, demanding Miss Cackle be removed from the school.



- May I see it?

- You may.

Thank you.

Do you have anything to say in your defence? Taken at face value, all the accusations are true.

Your Greatness, I will take full and personal responsibility, but I beg you to keep the academy open.

Are you sure you haven't been drinking witch's brew, Miss Hardbroom? Miss Hardbroom, you have to come with me to the Potions lab immediately.

Why? Because the inspector has arrived and she can't see you like this.

Doomstone the Destroyer is here? The inspection visit.

Of course.

I wonder if she likes roses.

I'll go and see her.

No! Miss Hardbroom that's not a very good Miss Mould, bring Miss Bat and the rest of the staff up to speed.

Felicity, let the rest of the girls know about the inspection.

And, you, find an antidote, sharpish! I need to find Miss Hardbroom.

I will bear what you have to say in mind.

Now, if you have nothing else to say,

- I suggest

- Wait! We have something to say!

- Mildred Hubble.



- You girls should be in school.

You see? This is a perfect example of what I've been talking about.

What are you girls doing here? We are here as character witnesses for you, Miss Cackle.

Please let us speak.

And this is the Witchball court.

We have an excellent team.

And although I don't like to brag, I'm one of the star players.

Why, exactly, are we outside, my dear? Um We're doing the exterior tour first.

Before the rain sets in.

It isn't forecast to rain.

Now, this way to the herb garden.

We have a marvelous display of rosemary, basil, and thyme.

You're wasting my time, Miss Hallow.

Take me to Miss Hardbroom.

But you haven't seen the family trees yet either.

And Miss Hardbroom expressly told me to I smell a big fat rat, Miss Hallow.

That's probably the manure that Mr.

Rowan Webb puts on his roses.

Now, Miss Hallow.

Miss Doomstone, wait! Everything Miss Cackle ever does is based on what is best for the school and the girls.

She doesn't tick boxes and suck up to committees and Magic Councils.

She gets on with the job and teaches us girls how to fly.

And I don't mean on a broomstick either.



- Miss Cackle takes risks.



- My point exactly.

But not on health and safety as suggested today.

On people.

She took a risk on me, and I will always be grateful for that.

Please don't take her from us.

She's our role model and we love her.

Don't you want to see the family trees? No! I want to see Miss Hardbroom.

Where is she? Come with me! Jimson weed.



- A ladle of frog gloop.



- A ladle of frog gloop.



- Ah, here.



- Quickly, Sybil.

A ladle of frog gloop.

Ugh! And finally, a spoonful of the original personality changing potion.

It's going a different colour.

Mm.

Green for the original, red for the antidote.

Okay, let me strain this, and then we'll give it to Miss Hardbroom.

We couldn't stall her any longer.

She's on her way here with Miss Bat.

Uh quickly, quickly, come and drink this, Miss Hardbroom.

You give it to her, Clarice.



- Help me tidy up, Ethel!

- Hey, Miss Hardbroom! Drink this! What are you trying to hide from me? I know you, Miss Batty, from days of old.

It's Bat! You know it's Bat! I will not taste it! It smells disgusting!

- Miss Hardbroom! Stop it!

- No! No!

- How about this one instead?

- No, no!

- Well met, Miss Doomstone.



- Miss Hardbroom? What's been going on in here? We've been having fun in class.

Fun? A school isn't a place to have fun, Miss Ah! Oh!

- My hat!

- Frog gloop! Miss Doomstone, are you alright? This school is finished.

After what Mildred said, there's no way they're getting rid of you.

You spoke very well, Mildred.



- It's going to be okay, Miss Cackle.



- Of course it is.

I wonder how they're getting on with the inspection.

I'm sure with Miss Hardbroom in charge, everything will be going swimmingly.

You can't go yet.



- You haven't seen the whole school.



- Or my A

- star projects.

I've seen quite enough, thank you very much.



- But, Miss Doomstone

- Don't touch me!

- Oh, no, the frog gloop!

- Frog?

- She okay?

- Frog in throat! Somebody do something! Well done, Ethel.

Here.

Drink this.



- Stop! Miss Doomstone!

- Oh, no, wait! No! Better? That was close.

Cheers, Ethel.

Job well done.

Is that what I think it is? Yeah.

How are you feeling, Miss Doomstone? Absolutely marvelous! You people have saved my life.

I shall be eternally grateful! What are you girls gawping at? Take these back to where they came from.



- Welcome back, Miss Hardbroom.



- I haven't been away.

Have I? Miss Cackle, the council have made their decision.

Would you take your place, please? What an absolutely charming school.

Such well

- mannered, responsible girls and a most dedicated teaching staff.

I've had a wonderful time.

Well, apart from almost choking to death on a frog, that is.

Don't worry, I won't tell.

In fact, I probably shouldn't mention this, but I've already reported back to the Magic Council to let them know my decision.

Which is? The school is to remain open! Toodle

-pip! Well done.

Why was everyone so scared of her? She seemed perfectly pleasant.

I did it! I saved the school.

Miss Drill, shouldn't we have given Miss Doomstone the antidote? Don't worry.

The potion will wear off eventually.



- Over the next six months or so.



- Six months? Does Miss Hardbroom know what happened today? She can't remember you giving her the potion, if that's what you mean.

Will you tell her? No.

Thank you.

You won't be thanking me when you've spent a whole day cleaning out the sports cupboard.

I think some of the Softbroom potion must have rubbed off on HB.

She almost smiled just then.

Well, maybe.

Compared to someone like Miss Doomstone, she's really not that bad after all.

Well met, everybody.

I don't know what you all did to charm Miss Doomstone today, but whatever it was, you did a very good job.

She gave the school a glowing report.

So, why the long faces? What is it, Ada?

- I am no longer your headmistress.

- No! What? The council have decreed that a new head teacher be appointed to this school.

I will be leaving at the end of term and Miss Hardbroom will continue as acting head until a replacement can be found.

Thankfully, the school itself will remain open, so I am very grateful to you all for that, so well done.