02x09 - A Test of Pride

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Legend of Vox Machina". Aired: January 25, 2022 –; present.*
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A band of eight unlikely heroes, find themselves on a quest to save the realm of Exandria from dark magical forces.
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02x09 - A Test of Pride

Post by bunniefuu »

[man in distance]
Get back to it tomorrow!

[panting]
[horse neighs]

[rustling]

[birds chirping]

[gasps softly]

[muffled grunting]
[neck cracks]

Oh, Gods.

Herd, bleed 'em!

[men shouting]

- Should be fixed by...
- Huh?

[panting]

[grunting]

[man] Marauders! Run!

[panicked whimpering]

[people screaming]

[panting]

[Halfling archer] Get him!

- [grunts]
- [shouts]

Fine work, boy.

You do the Herd proud.

Take what you want,

and teach 'em to fear
the name Grog Strongjaw.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[horse neighs in distance]

[Pike] No guards. No movement.

Uh, you sure this was the place
you saw in that vision?

[Scanlan] Hundred percent.

I've played dozens
of gigs in Westruun.

Lousy tippers, but they really
appreciate the classics.

Oh, my big closer was always
"When the Bald Man Cr..."

- Scanlan. Focus.
- Oh, right.

Mythcarver showed me
the city overrun

by half-giants like Grog.

- W-Well, normal Grog.
- [moans]

And one super beefy dude
wore these stone gauntlets

that were, like, glowing.

The vestiges.

Well, looks like
those guys moved on.

We should get back
to Wilhand, you know,

before he starts
wondering where we are.

[stammers] Hey, these people
could use our help.

[farmer] Please.

Let me go.

[grunting]

I swear, I gave all I had.

There's nothing left.

Well, my small friend,

if you ain't got nothing
for the offering,

that makes you worthless,
don't it?

Yes. Yes.
I'm worthless.

Then get out of my sight.

- And hope your luck turns around.
- Thank you.

Thank you.

[both] Boulder, parchment, shears.

[laughs]

- [gasps]
- [Grog] Don't.

What? There's only two.
We can take 'em easy.

No, if they're with the Herd,
they ain't easy.

[Herdsman] Nice toss, Suda.

[Herdsmen laughing]

Guess his luck
didn't turn around.

[both laugh]

[sighs]

Kevdak is in there.

- [clears throat] Uh, who's Kevdak again?
- Their leader. My uncle.

Me and Kevdak, we got...
bad blood.

And he's got an actual vestige.

Yeah, but I didn't know
that's what they were.

He just called them
his Titanstone Knuckles.

He's always wearing 'em.

And they make him,
like, ha, crazy strong.

[Scanlan] Uh-huh.

Exactly how many Herd members
we talking here?

I don't know,
no one really kept a list.

Oh, I did heard someone
say "hundreds" before.

[laughs] Um...

- Is that a lot?
- Okay,

so if we want those bad boys,
we got to fight through

a bunch of regular-sized Grogs,

then somehow rip 'em
off jumbo-Grog's arms.

[sighs] We should do some recon.

No! I mean, um...

I'm not sure I want the Herd
seeing me like this, right?

I mean, maybe we should
just wait for our friends, hmm?

Ah, right.
What do we do with you?

But come on, you can still
hold an axe, can't you?

Wouldn't count on it. [groans]

All right, uh,
how about you, Scanlan?

You're pretty slippery
when you want to be.

Maybe you should
take lead on this one.

Actually, Pike,
would you be impressed

if I single-handedly infiltrated
Westruun and retrieved said vestige?

Well, it would be the bravest
thing I've ever seen you do.

Then it shall be done.

If Scanlan the Revolutionary
is not back within the hour,

promise you'll try to love again.

I will do my best.

[clears throat]

♪ Nevosh nevon, klu mehon ♪

[buzzes]

[pigs snorting]

[Pike] I never knew your
old Herd made you this nervous.

Not nervous.

Ashamed.

Before you took me in,
my life was...

Well, Wilhand

kind of knew not to ask
about it.

Y-You don't have to tell me
anything if you don't want to,

but it might
make you feel better.

[sighs] When I was
with the Herd,

I did things.

Real bad things.
[screaming]

[man] Come on!

[Grog] I don't think you
would've liked me too much.

[grunting]

v*olence was all
that mattered to us.

I took anything I wanted
without a second thought.

Nothing and no one
could stop me.

[grunts]

- Until the day I met him.
- [gasps]

Oh.
[grunts, whimpers]

No. Take whatever you want.

Please.

Spare me.

[Grog gasps]

[Wilhand] I-I have a family.

[Grog gasping softly]

Grandpa Wilhand?

[Scanlan buzzing melodically]

Ugh. That dragon
really cock-whipped this place.

No sign of Umbrasyl, though.

[half-giant captain]
Loot's run dry.

It'll be our heads if we don't
find more to offer up.

I didn't sign up to take orders
from a bloody dragon.

What say you, Zanror?

[Zanror grunts] I say someone
needs to stand up to my father

and take this Herd back.

[whimpers, grunts]

Huh?
[sword unsheathes]

[panting]

[footsteps approaching]

[grunts]

[Zanror] Huh. Just a rat.

[sighs]

[grunts]

Ocupado?

- Who the f...
- Shh. Are you one of them?

[grunts, exhales]

I'm about four feet too short
to be one of them.

- Who are you people?
- Just unlucky.

Farmers. Shopkeepers.

When the dragon att*cked,
we all hunkered down

and waited for it to pass.

Wouldn't you know it,
the day after he flies away,

those f*cking marauders show up.

- Damn. How long?
- A week. Maybe two.

We've been waiting
for an opening to escape, but...

How'd you wind up in this hell?

Oh, well,
I'm sort of an adventurer.

Rebel leader. Musician.

Some would say philosopher.
Name's Scanlan.

As in Scanlan Shorthalt?

[Grog] I could've k*lled him.

But when your
great-great-great-great-great...

- Just two greats.
- ...uh, grandpa looked at me,

I... [sighs] I don't know.

Everything changed.

[Wilhand whimpering]

What do we have here, Grog?

Find yourself a pet?

Zanror, wait.
He's not a fighter.

He's just an old fella.

Hey, hey. Don't let my father

catch you getting soft
with these bugs.

He does love k*lling
the geezers.

Says he's doing them a favor.

[grunts]

What the... [grunting]

[sword clatters]
[Wilhand whimpers]

[panting] Sorry, cousin.

- Hey, come on.
- Huh?

Before they see.

[Herdsman grunts, laughs]

Thank you, big boy.

I hope I can repay
your kindness someday.

[footsteps approaching]
[Kevdak] Strongjaw!

You would betray my son,

your own cousin, for that?!

Bring me that gnome's head

or I will take yours.

[Grog] No.

[grunts]

Grog!

[whimpers]

[grunting]

Traitor.

You both disgrace us
with your weakness.

- [grunting]
- I should've known

you weren't strong enough
to raid with us.

You have no spine,

like your father before you.

[grunts, shouts]

[grunts]

[grunting]

[screams]

[blows landing]

[Grog gasps raggedly]

[grunts]

[Grog gasping weakly]

[Kevdak] The arrogance.

You will never be
half the warrior I am.

Grog Strongjaw,

you are hereby banished
from the Herd of Storms.

[grunting weakly]

Leave him for the scavengers.

[Grog] I should have
d*ed that day.

[wheezing]

Quickly.

Try to heal him.

Everlight, please.

Thank you
for saving my grandfather.

What you did was very brave.

[grunts] Yeah.

Brave. That's me.

[Grog groans]

Come on, big boy.

Let's get you someplace warm.

[Grog sniffles]

All these years, I-I never knew.

We k*lled.
Sometimes for no reason.

And I was too weak to stop it.

[sighs] Grog,
we can't dwell on the past.

You're not like that anymore.
You're...

You're different.

You're my best buddies.

Yeah, I am.

But that don't matter
to the little folk I let die.

[Umbrasyl roars]

[pigs squealing]
[wings flapping]

[Pike] Why is he here?

Is he following us?

Wait. Where the f*ck is Scanlon?

[Scanlon] So, you're saying

you've, uh, heard of me?

Indeed, I have.

Actually, Kaylie here
is part of my band.

Dr. Dranzel's Traveling Troupe.

[grunts] At your service.

We're not even from here.

Just in the wrong place
at the wrong time.

But, aye, we've heard of you.

[chuckles] Tales of
Scanlan Shorthalt's

magical music
have traveled far and wide.

[chuckles] Whoa, whoa.

Hold up. I'm famous?

No one wants
your damn autograph.

These people have no food

and are running out of water.

The Herd's been
going door-to-door,

demanding allegiance and gold.

Anyone who comes up short
is slaughtered.

- And the dragon?
- Is working with them.

You need to get us out of here
immediately.

Wh... Oh, oh. Hold up.

I-I'm just scouting
this place, okay?

I-I don't even have my lute.

I-If I could reach my friends,

- maybe they could...
- Your friends?

Your friends aren't here.
You are.

[grunts]

One thing I learned
in this life,

no one comes back to save you.

So, Scanlan Shorthalt...

[coughs]

What are you prepared to do?

[Umbrasyl roars]
[Scanlan and Kaylie gasp]

[gasps]

[man] Meet at the square.

[man ] It's back!
It's come back!

[indistinct shouting]

[roars]

[snarls]

[Umbrasyl] Show yourself, Kevdak.

Your tithe is due.

Mythcarver.

[Umbrasyl snarls]

[Ripley] Is it just me,

or do these offerings
keep getting smaller?

Of course, everything pales

compared to the might
of a vestige.

[Umbrasyl snarls]

I swear, I know that voice.

Remind me why you're simply
not relieving him of his.

These scavengers still have use.

You waste my time with scraps
when you wear what I covet.

Our deal stands.

This city yields less each day,

but we'll find the gold
for your precious conclave.

Even if it means
expanding our efforts.

See that you do.

The Hope Devourer does not
give you Westruun for free.

I am displeased.

[whimpers]

[screams]

I return in three days' time,
Kevdak.

If you do not bring me
Thordak's gold,

I take your arms as payment.

[roaring]

[Kevdak] Enough of your cowering.

I want search parties assembled

and every ounce of wealth
milked from this city.

Leave no stone unturned,

or a dragon will be
the least of your worries.

How long must we endure this,
Father?

We're reduced to servants.

Hold your tongue.

This alliance affords us
a city to rule.

- Our survival de...
- This is not survival!

We should be hunting
these dragons,

teaching them to fear us.

Instead, your weakness
has us groveling like...

[choking]

[Kevdak] I tire of your whining.

You think you could lead
this Herd, boy?

I know I could.

[breathing heavily]

[shouts]

[grunting]

[blows landing]

No way we're getting
those vestiges off him.

[breathing raggedly]

[Kevdak] Any of you lot agree
with my son?

No, Thunderlord.

I rule this Herd,

and we rule Westruun.

Now go.

k*ll the locals
and take all they have.

- [Herdsman] Spread out.
- [Herdsman ] This is gonna be fun.

Like I said, we have to go.

Immediately.

[roars]

Scanlan could be in trouble.
Come on.

What, are you nuts?

Look at me.
I'm all shriveled up.

I don't even have
Craven Edge anymore.

I mean, what if Kevdak...

Okay, okay. Then we'll sneak in,

get our boy and sneak out.

How? Your armor's
not exactly the quietest.

And they'll spot me a mile away.

[pigs squealing]

Then we better go in
with a mighty fine offering.

[guards]
Boulder, parchment, shears.


- [laughs]
- [groans] f*ck it.

[Grog] Ugh, yep. This gnome turd
stole from Kevdak.

[chuckles]
Had to run her down meself.

Do I know you, slim?

Oh, you better.

I'm Kevdak's kin.

And he don't like waiting,
mustache.

Hmm.

[grunts]

[laughs] Nice plan, Pikey.

Hey, what's with
calling me a turd?

Oh, sorry. [chuckles]

That was, like,
you know, acting.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
You did great, buddies.

Now, let's find Scanlan
before I pass out

from hanging upside down. Ow!

Oh! sh*t, that's on me.

Got pig blood in my eye.

[exhales]
The streets are crawling out there.

Listen, I'll go alone
and bring back a rescue party.

Hey. Hey. Don't worry about me,
little lady.

I got tricks.

I'm not worried about you,
you cock.

From what I've heard,
it figures you'd run.

[groans] Fine,
everyone can come.

But it'll be dangerous.

And if I'm gonna pull this off,

I'm gonna need
a little something from you.

Your flute.

- Hurry.
- Right.

♪ ♪

[woman] More for the pile.

[grunts]

♪ ♪

- [man] Come on.
- [snarls]

[roars]

- [man ] What the f*ck is that?
- [man ] After it!

[overlapping shouting]

Stay close.

[grunts]

[metal scraping]

♪ ♪

[grunts]

[groans]

Well, f*ck me.
You do have tricks.

- [chuckles]
- [gasps]

I'm just getting warmed up.
[grunts, whimpers]

[gasps]

[high-pitched grunt]

- Scanlan!
- [gasping]

We have been worried sick.

Hey, that bear hug
actually hurt.

- Ooh.
- Eh, kind of. Nice, buddy.

- Oh. Huh.
- [Pike grunts]

Oh, happy to see me, huh?

I mean, no.

[Kaylie] Sorry to interrupt.

Oh! Oh, uh, right.

Don't worry, everyone.

This murderous half-giant
is actually on our side.

Wonderful. Suppose you couldn't
have found a beefier one, hmm?

Oh. Uh, that hurt.

Hey, don't mind her, buddy.

She's just freaked out
that your uncle's Herd

- is teamed up with the dragon.
- They what?

Oi, can we
get the f*ck out of here?

[Pike] Back the way we came.

[bell tolling]
[overlapping shouting]

Kevdak is gathering the Herd.

- [man] Meet at the Margrave's.
- [man ] Come on!

Good. Then now's our chance.

Follow Grog, okay?

Once he gets you
through the gate,

make for the tree line.

- [Grog] Come on.
- [grunts]

[grunts]

Uh, okay, then.

We'll go first.

Grog, you can take up the rear.

I'm not going.

What do you mean?

- Is he serious? We're home free.
- [scoffs]

Kaylie, just take them.
We'll catch up.

I promise.

Grog, I love you,
but what are you doing?

They're afraid of me,

afraid of my kind.

And that's not gonna change

unless someone
takes down the Herd.

Unless I take down Kevdak.

[scoffs] Kevdak? Uh, like that?

Your belt looks like
it's wearing you.

Buddies,
we got to stick together.

[Grog] Not this time.

I have to do this on my own.

Grog, listen to me.

This is su1c1de.
Is that what you want?

You said I'm different now.

But if I leave, I'm as weak
as he always said I was.

No. Hitting hard and being big

don't make you strong.

It's standing up
for the little folk.

That's what makes me
different from them.

[Pike] But...

What if I need you?

[Kevdak] The Herd of Storms
lives by the code.

Survival through strength,

strength through power.

If that power is challenged...

[Zanror grunts]

...the challenge
must be answered.

Even from my own son.

He tells me
there are some among you

who would return to the wilds.

I say to you,
all are free to go.

[grunting]

But questioning my leadership

is something I cannot abide.

If anyone here
thinks they are fit

to lead better than I,
step forward.

Now.

Are there none who would
challenge the Thunderlord?

[Kevdak chuckles]

I thought not.

[Grog] Kevdak!

[chuckles] Remember me?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Chirp.
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