01x06 - Yu Ishigami Wants to Live/Chika Fujiwara Wants to Test You/Kaguya Wants to Be Noticed

[bunniefuu]

The treasurer of the four-member student council at Shuchiin Academy...

Yu Ishigami.

The man who is indispensable to the student council,

yet hasn't made much of an impression on them.

The man Shirogane, the president of the student council,

chose to be the treasurer based on expectations of his prowess.

Here's this month's financial report.

Great.

He has been biding his time...

What is it?

I want to quit the student council.

...waiting for the chance to resign from the student council!

I see. Quit the student council...

YU ISHIGAMI WANTS TO LIVE

You've got to be kidding me! Without you, we'll go bankrupt!

I'm begging you here!

Yu Ishigami.

He's a data processing expert.

At Shuchiin Academy, only the president is elected.

PRESIDENT MIYUKI SHIROGANE

VICE-PRESIDENT KAGUYA SHINOMIYA

SECRETARY CHIKA FUJIWARA

TREASURER YU ISHIGAMI

The other members are appointed based on their abilities.

Yu Ishigami is a talented person who was scouted by the student council...

despite the fact that he had barely begun his first year there.

Normally he takes his work home

and only shows up in the student council room for meetings,

but he is a full-fledged council member.

Undeniably, Yu Ishigami is the treasurer of Shuchiin Academy's student council.

And now he is trying to quit his post.

But I've got an important reason.

That reason is...

What reason?

I think I'm going to be m*rder*d.

m*rder*d?

I think Shinomiya-senpai is going to k*ll me.

Shino...

O-On what basis do you think that?

Her eyes.

Eyes?

People's eyes are organs that are connected directly to the brain.

Normally half of the brain is used to process the sense of sight.

The movement of eyes can show what someone is cautious about or hungry for.

Those organs clearly reveal the brain's activity.

FOOD > CAT GLUTTON

DOG > FOOD SCAREDY-CAT

I can tell five or six percent of a person's true character just by looking into their eyes.

That's not much!

I can probably do the same!

The way Shinomiya-senpai looks at me sometimes...

I'm positive that the intent to k*ll is in that glance.

What exactly happened?

It was a month ago.

COFFEE BLEND FREE TICKET

But a lot of people think that's the best way to k*ll time.

What is this?

I don't really go to coffee shops.

They're too expensive for my blood.

You have a point.

If there was a coupon or something, it would be different.

PAT PAT

Yeah.

If it were cheaper, I wouldn't mind going once in a while.

Not a word to anyone about those tickets.

What happened?

She threatened me, so I can't tell you.

Threatened?

I have a feeling she's k*lled two or three people already.

What happened?

And then last week, too...

Shinomiya-senpai, are you in love with the president?

FSSST

In love with the president?

Don't talk nonsense! That would never happen!

You don't see him as a love interest?

N-No!

Of course not.

Really?

In fact, rumors like that are a nuisance!

Is that right?

I thought they'd make a good couple.

Then I'll give the president a hint that you have no romantic interest.

YANK YANK

You'll tell him no such thing!

You hear me?

I think she has the skills of a trained assassin.

A trained assassin?

Using the corner of a couch to strangle me... That's a pro!

What do you think Shinomiya is?

SHIVER SHIVER

My guess is she's a natural-born serial k*ller.

I can see it in her eyes.

You put too much faith in that five or six percent!

Fujiwara-senpai's in even more danger than me.

Sometimes Shinomiya-senpai stares at her as if she's less than human.

I estimate she's got another two months left.

You calculated her life expectancy?

Ridiculous!

No, that type is the most dangerous predator.

President...

Is Ishigami here?

I was at a meeting.

Don't make it worse for yourself!

It was about the budget for the drama club.

Turn yourself in, Shinomiya!

Please!

Listen when someone's talking to you!

BEND BEND

I told you I was helping the drama club, remember?

Today was the costume fitting.

O-Oh.

Still, you didn't need to bring that prop in here.

Um, I just wanted to tease you a little with it.

Sorry.

Cute.

Shirogane-senpai, this is a trap.

She's playing it cute so you'll let your guard down.

D-Don't scare me like that!

That's just a costume! Shinomiya hasn't k*lled anyone!

President!

Help.

Miss Kaguya k*lled me!

Then it's true!

What's true? She's just wearing special makeup!

Oh, right!

No, President. This is a trap, too.

I suspect she really is dead,

but Shinomiya-senpai performed some mad-science surgery on her.

Ishigami...

You always let imagination get the better of you.

Shinomiya would never m*rder a soul.

Try to have more faith in your colleagues.

Okay?

Faith in my colleagues...

Anyway, that's impressive.

I know, right?

How is that attached?

It's like this. See?

Sorry I asked.

Faith in my colleagues...

Ishigami...

About our secret...

I appreciate that you've kept it to yourself.

Being tight-lipped is a virtue, right?

If you had blabbed...

Faith!

s*ab

...this wouldn't be a toy.

Also, don't put the president in a bind.

Please don't say anything more about resigning.

Do you want to try stabbing me, President?

Then was she...

Can I? I wanted to try it once.

listening the whole time?

RESULTS OF TODAY'S MATCH: ISHIGAMI LOSES

Results of today's match...

WANTS TO QUIT BECAUSE HE'S AFRAID OF KAGUYA BUT CAN'T QUIT BECAUSE HE'S AFRAID OF KAGUYA

Ishigami loses.

WOMEN WHO LOVE AND HATE

CAGE FOR CATS

There's an animal cage in front of you.

How many cats are in the cage?

What kind of abstract question is that?

CHIKA FUJIWARA WANTS TO TEST YOU

It's a psychological test!

It's from a book I borrowed from the library.

Just by answering this question,

I'll be able to understand the depths of your mind, President.

That's silly.

As if you could understand the workings of the mind with a question like that.

Come on, just humor me.

How many cats?

I guess about nine cats.

That tells me how many children you want!

That's exactly right!

Nine kids? That's like a baseball team!

Nine kids? That many?

PSYCHOLOGY TEST

Psychology tests.

Abstract questions that draw out what someone really thinks.

Most of them have amusing game elements that employ the Barnum effect,

but some of them are practical and based on actual psychology.

The person who thinks of these tests only as an amusing trifle

and lets their guard down may be in for a bitter experience.

I've got another really interesting one!

Let's do it together!

Oh, us, too?

Yes!

Are you ready?

"You're walking down a dark path.

Suddenly, someone taps you on the shoulder from behind.

Who is that person?"

Give me a hint.

This isn't a quiz, so it doesn't work that way.

Oh.

A dark path...

What could this be getting at?

There it is! The second question on page !

That answer...

THAT'S THE PERSON YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH!!

indicates whom you're in love with!

If you say the name of someone of the opposite sex

it's like a confession of love!

As is often the case, Kaguya had prepared for this situation.

PLEASE TYPE IN A NAME

CHIKA FUJIWARA'S BRAIN

Kaguya has known Chika Fujiwara since middle school

and is especially familiar with her behavioral patterns.

CHIKA'S BRAIN

LOVE, PLAYING, EATING, PESU

Ever since Kaguya noticed the book was on the library's list of purchases,

she predicted a high likelihood of Fujiwara bringing it to the student council room.

PSYCHOLOGY TESTS FOR LOVE

Kaguya read the book in advance!

"Question. You bring a squirrel home.

She's able to avoid any dangerous answers.

What do you do with it then?"

Let's see. I would make delicious food for it every day...

and give it a massage before it went to sleep.

The answer is...

"After you get married, what will you do for your spouse?"

In other words,

by being able to negotiate this minefield called a "psychological test,"

she holds a huge advantage.

Let me think. It would be you, Miss Fujiwara.

M-Me?

BASHFUL BASHFUL

A dark path...

Why are you running away, Ishigami?

My answer is Shinomiya-senpai.

Me?

That's how Ishigami feels?

He's a nice boy, and I don't dislike him...

but I'm sorry. Ishigami is on the level of a worm to me.

Ishigami is rejected.

Now the president is the real issue.

I hate dark, scary places.

President, let's go home together.

Well, I—

Grin!

Wait! Why is Fujiwara grinning at me like that?

GRIN GRIN

She called it "really interesting."

A question that love-obsessed girl pounced on...

This one is definitely not a harmless test!

If the answer is "The person you're in love with..."

Oh, President...

So, you're subconsciously in love with me?

How cute.

It would be like a confession of love!

The best answer would be someone they'd be satisfied with, but nobody in this room!

Then...

I guess my little sister.

"The person who taps you on the shoulder indicates the person you're in love with."

In short, the president has a sister complex.

That's the most boring answer.

That's right. I have a sister complex.

I'm in love with Shinomiya-senpai?

No, I think this emotion is terror!

President, I think I have Stockholm syndrome, so I'm going home.

A-All right. Get well soon.

It could also be the suspension bridge effect.

I'll go to a hospital on the way home.

I wanna try answering one myself, so I'll look on the net.

sh**t! Miss Fujiwara is looking for a question outside of the book!

This one's cute!

"You're in a field of flowers.

The owner said you can take home as many flowers as you like.

How many will you take home?"

A question she doesn't know the answer to!

Flowers, huh?

I'd carefully pick only the prettiest ones.

So just a couple.

I-I suppose I'd take enough to make a lovely bouquet.

I see.

What should I do? I answered honestly without thinking!

How many for you, President?

Well, unlike that last one, I don't have to say a name,

so I can answer it normally.

I can take as many as I like for free, right?

Then there's only one possible answer.

HEAP

I'd take as many as I could cram into a truck!

Maybe even a truck wouldn't be enough.

That's a poor person's mentality.

What would you do with all of those flowers?

Well, I could give some away and sell some, right?

Um, the answer is...

CLICK HERE FOR THE ANSWER

THE AMOUNT OF FLOWERS YOU TOOK INDICATES HOW MUCH LOVE YOU HAVE FOR A SPECIAL SOMEONE!

What was the answer?

Nothing. Um, "How much you love flowers" or something.

Yes, that's what it was.

Even though I love flowers?

Silly.

I don't agree with that one!

Neither do I.

But that's what the answer was. We just have to accept it.

REASON: HAVING A TRUCK FULL OF LOVE

Results of today's match...

Shirogane loses.

I guess you're right.

COST OF A FAMILY

UM, IF YOU GET A HCG INJECTION, THERE'S A % HIGHER CHANCE OF GIVING BIRTH TO TWINS...

AH... HUH...

Wanna get a smoothie on the way home?

Okay!

- I'm gonna get celery! - What kind should I get?

I'm totally sorry.

I'm working again today. I have to go straight there.

Again?

You work too much.

Next time, definitely!

Yeah, okay!

It's time to go home, Lady Kaguya.

Hayasaka, I told you not to come to the student council room.

I've confirmed that the president and the other members have already left.

KAGUYA WANTS TO BE NOTICED

Rest assured.

Carelessness like that can be fatal.

Recently, you've become lax, haven't you?

Between your appearance, those nails,

UNBUTTONED HER COLLAR

NAILS

MYSTERIOUS KEYCHAIN

and your skirt length, you're likely violating school rules.

Next ROLLED UP HER SKIRT

It's all within the bounds of school regulations.

Although you could say I'm bending the rules a bit.

A bit.

For us, beauty is power.

BEAUTY IS LIVE a*mo

High society is not for people without adornment.

You don't want opportunities stolen by women with only good looks going for them.

I would say you're too stuffy about it, Lady Kaguya.

Lately, lightly polished nails are even in style here.

If you want men to think you're cute, you should take an interest.

Really? Then will the president...

I mean, will boys think I'm cute?

After all this time, I'm surprised you haven't given yourself away.

But, yes, of course.

Hayasaka realized that nails had little to do with popularity amongst the opposite sex.

Boys will...

Come on. Let's go home and paint your nails.

But she gave only vague answers in her desire to give Kaguya some glam.

Are you sure about this?

It's okay.

What's okay? Hey!

THE NEXT DAY

Gel nails which don't infringe on the school dress code.

The modesty of rhinestone only on each ring finger was part of the appeal.

I wonder what the president will think.

Will he think it's cute?

Or maybe he'll think it's frivolous.

What's the nail polish about?

I know.

I don't want it in that case.

I'll just go home today, and...

What are you doing, Shinomiya?

Aren't you going in?

Well, I was on my way in!

Miss Kaguya!

About this part...

Yes, what is it?

Are you hiding something behind you?

No, nothing.

The only times she's quick on the uptake are situations like this!

If someone's going to notice, I want it to be the president.

Certainly not her!

I have to get closer.

Here, President. The minutes from our last meeting.

Oh, thanks.

Stare.

And there's an error here.

You're right.

Indeed.

Good eye!

He didn't notice!

Shinomiya is being fashionable!

Jeez, why?

Is it because you're not interested in me?

What caused the change?

She's always avoided ornamentation, saying, "Does a swan dress up?"

What should I do? Should I mention it?

You have nice childbearing hips.

Wouldn't that actually be sexual harassment if I did?

LITTLE SISTER

Like the other day...

Kei, isn't that skirt too short?

I'm not wearing this for you. That's sexual harassment. Drop dead.

I was just worried about her as a big brother!

If there's a reaction from a person other than the person you want,

it's sexual harassment.

But since I did notice, I should say something, right?

I'm sure she won't be any crueler to me than my little sister was!

Fujiwara-senpai...

You changed your conditioner, didn't you?

You can tell?

Yeah, well...

the smell is different than usual.

I mean, it is stuffy in here today,

but it's cute that the smell is stronger than usual.

It kind of smells like a baby.

Ishigami...

That's creepy!

Let me die.

I want to die, so I'm going home.

S-Sure. But don't die.

It smelled good,

so I meant to give her a compliment.

Do I smell? Am I stinky?

That's tough!

The day Shinomiya calls me creepy, I'm likely to choose death myself!

SNIFF SNIFF

I'd better not bring up her nails!

It's just too risky!

I can't risk having her call me "creepy"!

Wait. Is that just an excuse?

This is my issue.

Complimenting Shinomiya's nails...

I'm just genuinely bashful.

In the end, he didn't notice my nails.

But it's probably better that way.

It's meaningless for me to be fashion-conscious.

It doesn't make me cute.

Shinomiya!

Those nails!

C-C-C-C-Cu...

Never mind! Nothing!

What?

Finish what you were going to say!

The president is cute when he's all flustered, isn't he?

Jeez! Jeez!

You, too, Kaguya.

I-I wonder what he was about to say!

What do you think, Hayasaka?

"Hayasaka," I said!

He said, "Those nails!"

RESULTS OF TODAY'S MATCH: KAGUYA WINS

Results of today's match...

Come on, Hayasaka!

Kaguya wins.