03x05 - Chika Fujiwara Wants to b*at a Rhythm/Ai Hayasaka Wants to Talk/Maki Shijo Wants Some Help

[bunniefuu]

You want me to listen to you rap?

Why?

This is how it all came about!

Let's go back to the night when Hayasaka fled...

from the sound of Shirogane's rapping!

Inside that empty karaoke box,

Shirogane had one intense thought!

"I'm going to practice my rapping!"

Chika! Save me!

Wh-What's wrong?

Stop my brother!

Huh?

I need you to choke the life out of my brother...

right now!

Choke the life out of him?

Those were Kei's exact words.

What were you doing exactly?

CHIKA FUJIWARA WANTS TO b*at A RHYTHM

It must've been pretty bad if your sister incited a m*rder!

No, it was...

I was just practicing my rapping.

Rapping?

That thing where you go, "Yo, yo!"?

Well, yeah.

What, so you're into rap?

Well, not like listening to hip-hop is so unusual.

But you don't seem like the type to listen to it.

Hey, look down on it all you want...

but freestyle rap can be extremely literary.

You could even call it an intelligent sport.

Intelligent sport?

There are rules to the lyrics, not to mention aesthetics.

Not only is rap a mental sport that employs words, it's also an art!

Oh, is it really?

But why did you suddenly decide to practice rapping?

The other day, I had to share one of my vulnerabilities with someone.

And I unveiled my rapping to her.

Not only did I knock her out, but she also ran off while I was in the restroom.

Awww, I feel bad.

For the other person.

Well, it wasn't really a big deal.

After we exchanged contact info, she apologized right away by text.

Although you should've been the one apologizing, President!

It's just that...

No one will ever love you unless you're acting.

There's something that I...

need to tell her, but...

there are just some feelings that I can't convey!

Feelings?

Wait, are you talking about...

Yeah.

This is extremely important.

I need to let her know.

That there are times when people must expose their weaknesses, too!

And the way to do that is...

Rap?

Right. But my weakness...

My rapping was so horrible, it knocked her out.

But if I can get better at it...

then maybe my feelings can be conveyed.

That's lovely! What's important is what you want to convey and to whom!

You just described the spirit of expression, President!

I would love to help you out!

Huh? Are you sure?

I'm so bad at it that I hesitate to even tell people that I have such a hobby.

But you're always bad at everything, President!

But you know what's more important?

Conveying those beautiful feelings inside you to that person.

Fujiwara...

So come on, let me hear you rap!

Sure!

VOLUME WARNING

VOLUME WARNING

VOLUME WARNING

Well?

No one told me you were this awful!

ARGH ARGH

Apologize! Apologize to music and to all musical artists!

That bad, huh?

The problem's your pitchiness and your lack of rhythm.

I thought you were able to sing the school anthem somewhat on pitch now!

And I know that you've learned to handle the soran dance rhythm!

Yet, none of that is on display!

All those days I spent on you were just a waste of time!

WAAAH

Hey, it's not as if my pitch and sense of rhythm got reset, okay?

It's just that when I try to stay on pitch, I lose the rhythm,

and when I try to get into rhythm, I can't stay on pitch.

I end up achieving neither in a deadlock!

But that's the worst possible outcome!

PITCH

It's like the two final bosses we took out came back to life and fused into one single demon!

RHYTHM

What am I supposed to do about that?

Why don't you just text how you feel?

Says the person who was just talking about the spirit of expression.

In the first place, what are you hoping to convey through these totally bad puns?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Are you confusing rhymes and bad puns by any chance?

Rhymes?

Seriously, Fujiwara, you know nothing about rap, do you?

To be honest, I thought I could get by if I just added a "yo" at the end.

I appreciate your concern, Fujiwara, but I'm going to take care of this myself.

What? Hey, hold up a minute!

I can do it right! I'll take a crash course in rap...

and train hard so I can teach you all there is to know!

Are you sure you can do it?

Rap isn't as easy as you think.

Just watch! I'm so going to pull it off!

And so, the days of hard training begin!

HISTORY

LYRIC NOTES

DEMON

SHE SELLS SEASHELLS BY THE SEASHORE!

A FEW DAYS LATER

A few days later.

Here we go.

Yo, here we are, at Shuchiin!

We come every day 'cuz that's our routine!

Exam time's comin' 'pon us fast,

but we're sneakin' 'round behind our 'rents' backs!

Well, that bears some semblance to rap.

But something's missing, right?

The word "rap" means "conversation."

In freestyle, the rapper must spit out the emotions in a nonstop, rapid-fire stream.

So fast that he can't fake it.

Secretary Fujiwara, I want you to uncork all of your honest feelings!

That's what hip-hop is all about!

All of my feelings...

Honestly?

All this time, I was only thinking of making it all rhyme.

I see. So it's the same as playing the piano.

What you want to convey and to whom...

So rap is exactly the same, huh?

Hey, yo!

President's useless and inept, yeah!

Gonna bury you, so just save your breath, yo!

Hitting the books is all he's good for!

Trying to teach him is a huge chore!

Can't take no more! This is like abuse!

I'm sick of your lies! Gonna cut you loose!

You got no rhythm! You totally suck!

Just keep drinkin' your momma's milk, you XXX!

Cool!

I have nothing more to teach you.

You've graduated.

President...

Thank you for everything!

Sure.

Okay, now teach me how to rap!

Huh?

All right, good work today!

Another time, okay? Bye-bye!

Hey, hold up!

Didn't you master rap so you could teach me how to rap?

I'm still just as bad at rapping as before!

Then, why am I learning how to rap from the one I'm teaching to rap?

HAHAHAHA

You're right! That's weird!

PITCH

RHYTHM

MotherXXXer!

Next time...

Versus Herthaka Arc!

MotherXXXer!

Not bad!

I think you'll be able to convey your feelings through this rap!

You think?

By the way, is this person someone I know?

AI HAYASAKA WANTS TO TALK

- Yeah, you know this person all right. - Huh?

Let's not waste any more time and call now!

Right! I'm going to throw down the gauntlet!

Herthaka... You...

They're colored contacts.

I just wanted you to know about my job.

Your job?

At the behest of the Shinomiya Family,

I've been keeping tabs on Lady Kaguya and those around her.

Keeping tabs on her?

What a piece of work that family is.

That's true. So, it would be inconvenient if you were to avoid me. So...

do you think that you and I could just be normal friends?

Yes, hello? Oh, Miyuki?

Huh? President?

Sorry for the short notice, but will you be free tomorrow?

I have something important to tell you, Herthaka.

After school, at PM, I suppose.

Sure, that works for me.

All right, I'll be waiting in Shiba Park.

Hey, hold on a second! So the person you want to convey your feelings to...

is Herthaka at Kaguya's house?

PRETTY BOY

Hey, don't tell Shinomiya, okay?

I mean, since Herthaka and I are...

You know, a guy and a girl—

You have a guy-girl relationship?

Do you see Herthaka as a woman?

Well, you could say that.

So you do see Herthaka as a woman.

And so...

I'll be going on a date with President tomorrow.

But just now, I could hear the secretary talking, too.

In that case, I'll have to wear...

Huh?

Why are you dressed like that?

This is part of my job.

It just won't do for Fujiwara to find out that I'm a girl.

This job of yours sure is tough.

Hey, look at them making out!

So?

What can I do for you today?

Right.

I wanted you to hear me rap, Herthaka.

I see.

Me, listen to you rap, President...

But why?

- Am I allowed to use earplugs? - No way!

Please just listen to him!

President is trying to convey his feelings to you through his song!

J-Just hold on a second! What on earth is going on?

Shinomiya?

Convey your feelings through song?

THINKING WE HAD BEEN REUNITED BUT BEFORE I COULD BE SURE IT WAS YOU

That's like a Heian-era confession of love!

Now it's getting really complicated!

Never mind, Fujiwara!

Start the music!

Check!

Give it up for... MC Miyuki!

Makin' my mark! Lettin' out a roar!

I represent Shuchiin!

Useless, toneless, but I've been restored!

That's Miyuki actually keeping time with the b*at?

Why does that surprise you, Hayasaka?

I wanna know! Two guys XXXin'!

Should I cheer them on or stop them? Hmm!

It's a dilemma! My heart's poundin', poundin', poundin'!

What's Miss Fujiwara going on and on about?

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, Herthaka!

It was you who said it! You gotta act if you wanna be loved!

Well, now I'm gonna answer your question! Never be loved as you are? That's why you act?

Is that right? Is that life?

XXX it! I'm acting out the ideal me!

The step I gotta take to become the real me!

This ain't a fashion show, so I can't change my clothes!

It's the one and only way to live, bros!

Never gonna stop clawin' my way to the top!

That's my non-fiction! I'm writin' it nonstop!

Yeah!

What in the world was that weird song?

- Yay! - Yes! We did it, Fujiwara!

Just what kind of feelings do you expect to convey in such a— Hayasaka?

Did something just resonate with you?

You weren't moved?

So you're the type of person who's never had the organs of a sea slug inv*de your ears.

I'm sure no one ever has!

Glug!

What a perfectly decent rap.

How much practice did it take for you to achieve this?

That thought alone is enough to move me to tears!

I hear you.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Really! I'm serious, what's the meaning of this?

What's up? It's far from over, yo!

You're gonna get all bloody hearin' my rhymes!

I'll rip that flimsy mask off your face in no time!

Come on! Will you listen to me?

The two of you! The two of you!

The two of you! The two of you! The two of you!

The two of you! Behind my back! In contact all along!

Such brazen! Deception! Will get you retribution!

I need you to explain so that I can stay sane!

Don't keep me waitin', that would be far too gratin'!

That was great!

You poured your soul into those rhymes.

What? That was acceptable?

You were able to match him on your first try! That's our Kaguya!

W-Well, that was nothing, really.

Oh, forgive me. There is someone here who can't handle even this much.

IRATE

What's up, Herthaka?

Huh?

The truth is, you wish you could shout it out, too!

But you hide your cowardice behind your defenses! Boo!

If you keep hiding, we'll never know!

Blue ass!

If you don't expose it, you'll never know!

True love!

Enough with the futile resistance, yo!

Your true desire! Time to say "Ho!"

True desire?

Don't force it... Different strokes for different folks...

This girl always keeps guardrails around her soul...

Never showing her true self... It's always a siege...

She has the know-how to act and create her personas...

Her fake self is the scapegoat... It's her safety zone...

She's just a coward who never wants to get hurt...

Always throwing tantrums...

Like a little girl...

Crybaby...

Stomping her feet...

That's her M.O...

Always forcin' impossible tasks on me!

You're a spoiled brat whose life is so carefree!

How can you say that when you're always dependin' on me?

I'll teach you how to speak to me properly!

This act I put on! I do it for you to protect you from the grown-ups! It's your shield!

Somewhere along the way, I became a hydra with multiple faces! Be grateful, will you?

My job! Don't I support you without taking a day off?

I'll only be a second-year once! And soon it's gonna end!

But all I do is work, and there's never any time to spend!

I wanna have those bittersweet feelings, too!

Lady Kaguya, I'm so jealous of you!

Still not sure when the answer's in front of me! Overloaded with joy or tremblin' with fear!

I wanna do it, too! Enjoy my life as a teenager!

I want one, too! A male friend, nothing major!

Yes, my man.

MC Miyuki.

Male relationships...

are so beautiful!

Today's battle result...

Hayasaka wins.

Is that... You know?

You just want to be friends with President, right?

You could also say I want to start off as friends, and...

STARE

STUDENT COUNCIL ROOM

MAKI SHIJO WANTS SOME HELP

President?

What's going on?

You're standing there frozen in front of the door.

Hey, Ishigami...

It's just...

Take a look and you'll see.

Hey! The tsundere senpai is crying!

How could she just barge in here and collapse on the floor without asking?

That's scary!

I'm assuming something tragic involving that couple experiencing nirvana happened again.

STOKED STOKED

Let's pump her for more details!

Here's some passion flower herbal tea.

That's intense.

Of course it is.

Passion flowers contain active ingredients like alkaloids,

so they say it's good for hysteria and neurosis.

I'm going to clobber you.

So, tell us.

Are you in some kind of distress?

It's not serious enough to call it distress.

I'd like to ask something casual, like "What did you eat for breakfast?"

Well, I guess we'd have no problem with that.

Tell me...

Isn't friendship just something that makes people miserable?

Which part of that is casual?

Well, you know how Nagisa and her boyfriend are in the volunteer club?

Since they're the only members, their advisor prodded them to get more members.

And Nagisa said she wanted me, so I ended up joining.

Oh yeah?

This is your chance to steal him from Kashiwagi, then.

You ignoramus.

I've been friends with Nagisa since elementary school!

I didn't help her out because I had such evil intentions!

I only joined because Nagisa was in a bind, and I thought I could help.

You can be awesome in such a weird way.

And yet...

that woman...

She acts like I'm not there, making out, making out, making out!

THE COUPLE, SAVORING LIFE'S LITTLE THRILLS

- Whoa. - Whoa.

Lately...

SQUEEZE

I get a stabbing pain in my stomach whenever I see Nagisa's face.

For some reason, it's like I've lost both my crush and my friend all at once.

When I smile, I feel like such a fake.

Female friendships are fragile.

Because it doesn't take much for the cracks to start showing, over a guy.

Would you like another cup of herbal tea?

Yes. If you don't mind.

Anyway...

this has been bugging me.

What is it about this guy that you find so alluring?

Huh?

Well, since you're always at Kashiwagi's beck and call—

As if you know anything about Tsubasa!

Well, I admit that at a glance, Tsubasa does seem rather flippant.

But he never gets mad when I snap at him, and he always gives me a smile.

How should I describe Tsubasa? When I'm with him, my heart's at ease.

At any rate, he's just a really warm person!

Don't ever badmouth Tsubasa again!

So his name's Tsubasa.

All this time, I've had him down as "Kashiwagi's boyfriend."

IT TOOK UNTIL THE THIRD SEASON FOR THE TRUTH TO BE REVEALED

Anyway, if those two are experiencing nirvana, a mere mortal has no chance of butting in.

What do you mean about nirvana?

Hey, Ishigami!

You're talking to a girl!

What's your problem?

Uh, it's a somewhat vulgar topic, so...

I don't care. Just tell me.

I mean, uh...

I was referring to their first time.

First time?

Oh, you're talking about them kissing.

Come on, that's not anything to write home about.

After all, I've seen it numerous times.

No, that's not what I meant.

You know...

Sek?

Are you out of your mind? Nagisa and Tsubasa are in high school!

Sek is for after you're married!

No, actually, one in three high school students has had sek.

Don't copy me! And really, that many?

If I had to guess, it probably happened over summer break.

Right.

Don't narrow down the timing! It's too graphic! Another cup of herbal tea!

You're going to have your hands full trying to break them up now.

You no longer have a prayer against Goddess Kashiwagi.

Nagisa only looks like Satan to me.

Love and friendship.

They really are difficult, aren't they?

If Ishigami started dating Shinomiya, I'd...

AHH...

A love triangle, huh?

If President and Tsubame were to...

SWOON

Now I'm more confused than ever!

I was sure that two heads would be better than one,

but it looks like consulting you two was a mistake!

Why, oh why, did things turn out like this?

Because you didn't confess your feelings right away.

Love is all about speed.

When you fall in love, you need to confess right away.

Ishigami is absolutely right.

Waiting for the other party to confess first is just a passive way to save face.

Don't you think there are times when you ought to just throw away your pride?

I know all that.

I know all that, but I'm way too scared to confess!

- Tell me about it! - Tell me about it!

Even with three people unable to confess all in the same room,

it barely moves the needle.

Either way, it's too late.

I've thought to myself hundreds of times, "If only I'd acted differently that day..."

But in reality, it changed nothing.

You two should make sure you have no regrets.

You can't end up like me.

Shijo...

Well, hey...

I think I understand your pain, too.

Come to the student council room whenever it gets too hard to bear.

We'll welcome you.

I'll brew you some herbal tea.

Shirogane...

Ishigami...

Maki? You're here again?

It's none of your business, is it now, Auntie?

I just stopped by to see my friends, that's all.

Friends? And who would they be?

Isn't it obvious?

Miyuki and Yu are my friends.

President has one more female friend!

Today's battle result...

Maki Shijo wins.

I'll come visit them again!

No, that's not it.

I do feel as if I remember...