03x09 - Spring of First Year/Kaguya's Culture Festival/Yu Ishigami's Culture Festival

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Kaguya-sama: Love is w*r". Aired: June 14, 2018 – June 25, 2020.*
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Student council president Miyuki and VP Kaguya appear to be the perfect couple, but both are too proud to confess their love and scheme to make the other confess their love first.
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03x09 - Spring of First Year/Kaguya's Culture Festival/Yu Ishigami's Culture Festival

Post by bunniefuu »

I like Miyuki Shirogane.

I like President so much, it's crazy.

HEART TO HEART

HOSHIN CULTURE FESTIVAL

LET YOUR BURNING LOVE REACH EVERYONE!

I wonder what'll happen if I tell you how I feel about you.

I'm going to...

confess to President.

In love, whoever has feelings first loses.

HOSHIN CULTURE FESTIVAL

Now then, let Shuchiin Academy's Hoshin Culture Festival...

start!

If Shinomiya doesn't confess to me first, then I'll do it.

That said, if the person who had feelings first is considered the loser...

then it would mean that he had lost long ago.

ONE YEAR AGO SPRING

HALF OFF THE DISPLAYED PRICE

I got into the wrong school.

SPRING OF FIRST YEAR

Everyone around me is obscenely rich and super annoying!

The thoroughbreds who've been going to Shuchiin since elementary school are considered "pure."

Outsiders like me...

are set apart as "impure."

It's been a week since I started here.

I can't even find someone to have lunch with.

Does having rich parents make you so high and mighty?

You lousy, entitled brats!

Somebody's in a savage mood.

You're the scholarship student, Miyuki Shirogane.

Am I right?

Put your trash where it belongs, okay?

Sorry.

That shiny golden fourragere on his chest...

If I recall, it signifies that you're the student council president—

Perfect timing.

I've wanted to have a word with you.

Me, join the student council?

Right.

It's up to the president to pick council members.

Every April, we have to fight over new recruits with the clubs. It's open season.

Why would you want me?

I'm sure there are plenty of people much more competent than me.

Like the student who gave the speech during the entrance ceremony.

Kaguya, the Ice Princess... Is that who you mean?

I don't know about that, but I hear her family's insanely rich,

and that she's a prodigy who's amazing at whatever she does.

At least that's what the rumors say.

We were dealt different hands from the start.

My family has no social standing, and I have no abilities.

I'm an impure outside student with nothing going for me.

That's fine.

We've all been sheltered inside this walled garden called "Shuchiin."

We could do with at least one person who can see the outside world with a level gaze.

I'd love to utilize your point of view.

But...

Now, now.

Why don't you just observe the student council at work for today? That'll be enough.

Okay.

Tell me...

Why did you choose Shuchiin?

Well, because they offer more in the way of aid here.

My family's not rich.

But if I'd known this was such an obnoxious school...

Sure, I agree that it's obnoxious!

But on the other hand,

there are people here that you could never meet outside this academy.

This year's crop of freshmen is full of superstars.

The daughter of the Shijo Family and a piano prodigy...

And needless to say, the oldest daughter of the Leader of the Shinomiya Group.

Kaguya Shinomiya.

Outside the academy, you'd be hard-pressed to even get an audience with her.

Haven't you approached them?

I've been doing all I can to talk them into joining...

but I'm pretty sure my chances are slim.

Since people who know themselves tend not to be easily led.

People who know themselves, huh?

Since I'm easily led,

does that mean I don't know who I am?

BLOOD POOL SWAMP

All right!

We're cleaning up this swamp today.

The pipes have been clogged for ages.

We have a number of volunteers helping us out...

but we need to look like we're putting in some work...

or it'll make for bad optics.

Whoa! It really is filthy!

Why am I doing this?

He said he was recruiting me for the student council,

but isn't this just his polite way of forcing this cleanup job on me?

He's probably looking down on me as a poor kid anyway.

I'd like you guys to tidy up the pump room.

Whatever.

No matter what I do, it's not gonna change anything any—

Nooooo!

- There's a dead bat floating in the water! - Hey—

Grab on to this!

Would it be better to jump in?

But is this swamp safe? You know, diseases and stuff...

Hey! Is this any time to be like that?

But I can't swim, so... Somebody who can swim, jump in and save her!

Somebody...

Somebody!

Somebody!

Pull them up!

I couldn't move a muscle.

I just laid out a bunch of petty excuses and stopped thinking at all.

Whether your family's rich or you were born talented... None of that matters.

Being able to spring into action when called upon or not...

The ones who can do that...

are beautiful.

That was commendable, Lady Kaguya.

Don't be ridiculous.

That was the daughter of a newspaper company CEO who was drowning.

It may benefit us later to be able to call in this favor.

Even still, you were the only one who made a move to save her.

As if anyone would willingly jump into a ditch.

People are always waiting for someone other than themselves to be sacrificed.

Supposing people who could sully themselves without expecting anything in return do exist...

If so?

I'm sure we wouldn't see eye to eye.

I wonder what kind of person would be worthy of standing next to her.

I can do that.

After all, I'm this academy's student council president.

I see.

Student council president, huh?

TAKOYAKI

CREPES

I'm all set.

The rest depends on you...

Shinomiya.

HOSHIN CULTURE FESTIVAL

KAGUYA'S CULTURE FESTIVAL

YEN

APPLE CANDY

HOT OFF THE GRILL & YUMMY YAKISOBA

LOST CHILD CENTER

ARTS & CRAFTS CLUB TRY YOUR HAND AT WOOL FELT CRAFTING

That really looks good on you!

You're the embodiment of a classic Japanese woman!

That's what you call "Taisho romance"!

WOW

I should've picked a maid outfit, too.

Don't be silly. Only Kaguya could pull off that look, and you know it!

Cosplay Café!

A hospitality system under which servers dress up in all kinds of costumes.

BUTLER

CAT EARS

To comply with her classmates' fervent requests, Kaguya has donned a traditional Japanese outfit.

HORSE

D-Do you really think it looks good on me?

Yes. It truly looks splendid on you, Lady Kaguya.

You just gave me a heart att*ck!

Is something the matter, Lady Kaguya?

Well... That maid costume...

Yes. I'm cosplaying as a maid.

Ai, you totally own that character!

Yes. I've taken great pains over a long period of time to perfect it.

After all, the concept is to depict the extraordinary by dressing differently

thereby giving your audience chills.

It's far too much like ordinary life for me, so it's giving me a different kind of chill.

Kaguya, I have no clue what you mean!

You're so funny!

Extraordinary!

Come on, now, Ai, get back to work.

Okay, I'm going to see to our customers, too.

We need you over here, Lady Kaguya!

DRINKS SWEETS

COSPLAY CAFÉ IN SHUCHIIN

All you have to do is stand here smiling, and show people in here from time to time!

- You mean I'm to act as the poster girl? - Oh!

If you can focus your smile on the male customers,

that would be really good!

This is rather salacious.

COSPLAY CAFÉ

My shift is two hours until PM.

I did inform President of my time slot, but I wonder if he'll show up.

Somehow I feel like I'm lying in wait for him, and it's rather sad.

Hypothetically, if I am going to confess to him during this culture festival,

I'd like a running start to spend a little time together!

And besides...

Adorable!

That really looks good on you!

At this café, due to space constraints,

You have to pour the hot water slowly like this.

the system is to serve coffee and tea in front of the customers.

It's not just taking orders and clearing the table.

We'll require approximately five minutes for both coffee and tea. Is that all right?

I'll have plenty of time to interact with President!

I'll have time to flaunt these clothes at point-blank range!

Under this system, President's heart will flutter for sure!

However, this very system backfired on her!

Having the eye-catching classic Japanese woman serve as poster girl has promoted lingering.

As a result,

the café is a booming success with primarily male repeat customers returning in a short time!

It's getting quite busy, isn't it?

WE CAN ACCOMMODATE GUEST WILLING TO SHARE A TABLE CURRENT WAIT TIME IS MINUTES

Even if President arrived now—

I'm so sorry, Lady Kaguya!

We're getting really swamped, so could you tend to the customers?

Oh... Yes!

Thank you for your patience!

May I take your or...

RUMBLE RUMBLE

...der?

I'll have a cup of coffee. How about you, J?

Yeah, I'll have the same thing.

Very good, gentlemen!

Please give me a moment.

I've seen that girl somewhere.

I came here because I heard that their ramen contained ingredients you don't usually see.

I never dreamed you'd be here, too.

Really, I'm astonished.

Right back atcha, San-chan.

I have no clue where you're getting your information from.

Um...

I shall now serve you your coffee.

So is that the Shuchiin Coffee I've heard about, favored by the Imperial Household Agency?

You're knowledgeable about coffee, too?

Compared to your knowledge of ramen, it's merely amateur-level.

That said, these are the same Tamaya Coffee beans that are served to state guests.

That's general knowledge.

These guests are going to be a handful. Let me get this over with and slip away.

Now then, let me pour your coffee.

You're not up to this.

Excuse me?

What do you mean, "not up to it"?

Sorry, but I just can't compromise when it comes to taste.

Would you mind switching places with that young lady over there?

With Hayasaka?

The way that girl pours is magnificent.

The amount, the speed...

The way the beans swell as if with joy and then form beautiful swirls in the hot water...

You'd think she was using a ruler.

That's first-class work right there.

What a sharp eye you have. I am humbled.

From your point of view, how would you rate her work?

Well,

either trash or garbage.

She uses random amounts of beans. Her placement is also sloppy.

She makes you feel sorry for the beans.

You'd think she was preparing instant ramen, the way she sloshes the hot water in.

Exactly. Would you mind pouring my coffee?

Can you do mine, too?

I'd be more than happy to do so for anyone who evaluates my work accurately.

If only my lady could take a page from your book...

Just hold on a second!

I admit that I have no knowledge of how to properly serve coffee.

However, in the case of black or green tea, I can deliver top-notch products!

Ah.

Hey, I don't think that kind of bluster is going to work on San-chan.

Right, San-chan?

If you're that determined, then how about a cup of tea?

Huh?

Please give me a moment.

President!

Why did you have to come now?

I would so love to serve you, but...

right now, I must make those middle-aged men eat their own words!

For you.

I apologize for being rude earlier.

You are, without a doubt, first class.

I take my hat off to you.

You are too kind.

Meticulous heat control.

The purposeful use of equipment.

This is...

Jumping as if dancing on the palm of my hand!

An ingenious way of wringing out every golden drop!

This is a labor of love, ingrained in your body!

No question about it!

This is the taste of love!

Wanting your beloved to drink better-tasting tea!

You've continued to make daily adjustments toward that end!

The taste of incredible love!

Then, this must be...

Right, this is a cup of tea that was refined for one person only!

A declaration of love, both circuitous and pure! The taste of a yet unrealized love!

Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!

Filled to the brim with love!

I'm so glad I came here today!

I pray with all my heart that your love will have a happy ending,

you sweet little Taisho-era girl.

Go home!

That will be , yen for two cups of tea, please!

Not shy about charging us, are you?

Shinomiya?

Did something happen just now?

D-Don't give it another thought!

I see.

Mmm.

Your tea sure is delicious, Shinomiya.

Right... That girl...

I see.

So it's you.

COOKING CLUB CAFÉ F COOKING CLUB ROOM TEA CEREMONY CLUB

ART CLUB EXHIBIT ARTS & CRAFTS CLUB

COOKIES YEN

Really...

Customer service is such a hassle.

Thanks to those oddball customers, I didn't even get to chat with President.

Oh well, at least there shouldn't be any more strange middle-aged guests com—

The first day of Kaguya's Culture Festival...

No confession made.

And at last...

FOUR RAMEN KINGS SERIES PART COMING SOON

YU ISHIGAMI'S CULTURE FESTIVAL

Hey, it's noon already.

First-years, go on your breaks now!

CULTURE FESTIVAL COMMITTEE

Okay!

Back to our classroom?

Yeah.

Hey, Squad Leader? It's Tsubame.

The possibility that Tsubame is single is sky-high.

We're running a little late, so can we go on about minutes early?

Yeah.

This culture festival is the perfect time to confess to Tsubame!

Really?

Okay, then I'm counting on you!

But if I'm going to confess, I need a running start.

I wanna spend a little time together at least.

Coincidentally,

Kaguya was having similar thoughts.

SYNCHRONICITY

MAIN STAGE A MAIN STAGE B MAIN AUDITORIUM A MAIN AUDITORIUM B QUAD STAGE A QUAD STAGE B FA LOST CHILD CENTER AFTER-PARTY

CULTURE FESTIVAL COMMITTEE SCHEDULE

Tsubame will be taking her break soon!

I have to find a way somehow to ask her to go to the culture festival with me!

Yeah, but...

what should I say?

Just talking to her normally makes my heart pound,

so there's no way I can ask her out on a date!

What am I supposed to do—

Guess who?

That voice!

Miss Mood Swings?

Wrong!

Sorry!

It's Maki!

Thank goodness. I was right.

Hey, Yu...

Who have you been looking at all this time?

Hmm?

Huh?

Oh, I see!

Yeah, I can see that!

What? What can you see?

Tsubame Koyasu, was it?

She's such a looker, isn't she?

I can understand how you feel, Yu.

It's the culture festival after all!

You want to go around with the one you love!

If you get a chance, you'd like to confess, as well, but you can't summon the courage!

Yep!

I get it!

I mean, I totally get it.

As usual, you're going from one extreme to another.

I kind of had a feeling that there was someone like that in your life, Yu,

but going after the Madonna of the third-years... How reckless is that?

Your odds are beyond low, you know.

You seem to be enjoying yourself.

Yes. I do enjoy relationship gossip about other people.

Nothing can hurt me after all.

Well...

there's no use in worrying about the disparities between you.

Somehow or other, you have to take action, or you'll never get anywhere!

If you truly love her,

stop hemming and hawing, and get on with asking her out!

If you don't move fast...

someone will snatch her away!

Oh man...

Why would you hurt yourself by talking about your own crush?

I wasn't thinking!

But as far as asking her out goes, what am I supposed to say?

FIDGET FIDGET

I don't wanna cause any trouble for Tsuba—

Oh?

Whoa! Tsubasa!

So, Ishigami, you have feelings for Tsubame?

You should've told me, then! I thought we were friends!

Hey, there you are, Maki!

It's so crowded! I could get lost if you leave my side!

Oh, sorry about that!

- I spotted my friend, so I just— - Huh?

You're both friends with him?

- Yes. - Yes.

I turn to Yu for advice sometimes.

Hey, you, too, Maki?

We can sure lean on Ishigami, can't we?

Well, I don't know if I can lean on him or not, but he's a good kid.

Really?

If you both say so, then he must be a good person.

Will you be friends with me, too?

U-Uh, sure.

I don't know why...

but I'm getting these weird, terrifying vibes from this person.

So, what were you talking about?

Um...

We were discussing what you should say when you ask a girl to the culture festival.

Shouldn't you just simply say, "Wanna go out with me?"

Easier said than done!

Being so blunt will only make him nervous!

His knees would be buckling as he m*nled one line after another,

and he'd end up not being able to ask her out at all!

You're absolutely right about that!

What's wrong with that?

The first time Tsubasa asked me out on a date... Seriously...

Hey! Please don't go there!

Oh, why not?

Well, that was my first time, so I was super nervous!

I couldn't tell if he was trying to ask me out or trying to kiss me!

Come on!

MAKING OUT MAKING OUT

Nagisa!

Don't you care what's going to happen to these sweet cheeks of yours?

Would you mind not staring at me in silence?

If you need an excuse to ask her, why don't you invite her to the project of your class?

Hey, I think that'll work!

Was it a haunted house?

That's right. A Horror House.

Sounds good!

I heard that Tsubame Koyasu is into horror.

Are you serious?

I heard about it from a friend.

Apparently, two girls got locked into a broom closet there for about five minutes,

- Let us out! - Let us out!

and it was the most terrifying thing ever!

Well, that's the kind of attraction-type Horror House it is.

In other words, you could be alone together for five minutes in a closed room, right?

She might grab your hand out of fear...

GRAB

SQUEEZE

or even throw her arms around you!

Nooooo!

If you go as a couple, you're guaranteed to have a blast!

True!

Hey, that sounds fun!

We should go, too!

Yeah, let's go!

Hey, do you think it's really scary?

By the way, can three people enter this attraction at the same time?

The answer is, you'd have to split up into groups of two and one.

Is that right?

That was the second-years' Soranbushi performance!

Poor Miss Mood Swings...

All right.

Okay, I'm going on my break now, too!

If anything happens, Line me.

All right, go on!

Tsubame?

But... But...

Hmm? Huh?

There's something I'd like to confirm.

You'll be fine!

If it doesn't work out, then I'll go with you.

Either way, it's a win-win, right?

Actually, if you fail, you'll end up with the better deal!

Let's go, Maki!

But that doesn't mean you should fail on purpose, got that?

It's not like I have a lot of free time!

Miss Mood Swings sure is a nice person.

Yeah, that looks good to me.

Thank you so much!

Ts-Tsubame...

Hmm?

Yu!

What's up?

Um... See...

Our class is doing a Horror House,

and it's a pretty good one, too, so...

So, Tsubame,

I heard that you're into scary stuff, so if you'd like...

What?

Sure! I'll go!

You're on your break now, too, right, Yu? Let's go together!

Okay!

All right! I did it, Shijo! Shinomiya!

ENTRANCE

Put on your eye masks, and the staff will guide you inside.

What? Sounds scary!

Really, you're such a child, Nagisa. If this isn't mere kid stuff, I don't know what is.

Help!

I really, really can't deal with scary stuff!

Auntie! I mean, Big Sister!

What? What is it, Maki?

Please, let's go in together!

I'm positive that it'll be fun!

What? I'm not going in there! I'm not fond of being scared!

Next episode... The first-years att*ck Kaguya and Maki!

- Yo. - Whoa! Go home! Get a job!

You'd better not have pulled any weird stunts!

DON'T WORRY, I HAVEN'T

He has.
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